Scribblings of a Red Head and a Quidditch Captain
by CasablancaInTheTardis
Summary: Lily James: Harry finds his parents' old diaries and notes from school. He reads them and discovers how the Head Girl and Boy finally got together. Includes Remus/OC and Sirius/OC. Halloween balls, nightmares, secrets, Voldemort and true love, of course!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter... yet

AN - This is my first HP fic. It's a Lily James fic because they are just sooo cute together. Yes it's another one of those stories about how they go ttogether, but it's told in both narrative form and in the shape of various letters, diaries and notes belonging to Lily and James that Harry finds upon his return to Godric's Hollow. The epilogue just sets up for teh rest of the story. There's not really any Harry in it apart from now.

I hope you like it. Please review to let me know what you think. Enjoy :)

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Prologue:

As Harry lay in his bed in Ron's room in the Burrow, he mulled over recent events. His defeat of Voldemort. The deaths of Lupin, Tonks, Fred and many others. The end of the war. His reunion with Ginny. All these things whirled around in his head as he lay staring at the ceiling. It was a pity he had not mastered occlumency - it would be nice for him to have an empty mind before he slept. Instead he had to cope with jumbled dreams where he was caught between joy and grief, elation and guilt.

The past year had been the hardest year of his short life. Sure, there had been high points like Bill and Fleur's wedding or the end of Voldemort's regime, but he had been burdened by his duty to defeat the Dark Lord and by the knowledge that he had been living with a part of Voldemort's soul inside of him for his entire life. He had felt so impure when he discovered this little fact. He felt free without it now, and decided that he would go back and visit Godric's Hollow as just Harry and not as Harry the horcrux. His last visit hadn't exactly been encouraging - he had seen his old home with a giant hole in the side from when Voldemort had killed his parents, and obviously that hadn't been easy for him. And then he had been attacked by a giant snake while talking to the bewitched corpse of Bathilda Bagshot. All in all, not an ideal visit. He had felt the need to revisit his parents graves without the constant fear of being attacked by death eaters, and he had wanted to see their old house again, without having to move on so quickly. He wanted time to look at his parents old things - if they were still in the house - and to try and piece together what his parents' lives had been like.

When he arrived there, this time alone and under the security of his invisibility cloak, Harry taken his time to read all the notes that people had scribbled on the fence and gate, like a giant magical guest book. Words like 'Sorry' and 'Great witch and wizard' occurred as frequently as the phrase 'our hearts go out to their son Harry' or 'The wizarding community thank Harry Potter for his defeat of You Know Who'. He moved slowly up the garden path, stopping to look to his left where there was a stump of a beech tree, not unlike the one by the Lake at Hogwarts. Judging by it's rings, it would have been fairly young when it was destroyed - Harry determined that his parents had probably planted it there themselves.

As he looked through the kitchen and living room, Harry regarded the various items that had been left in place by those who had preserved the Potter household. The odd saucepan, left haphazardly on the bench. The toy broomstick discarded on the living room floor. The many photo frames on the mantel piece of Harry as a baby, Sirius and James at school, the four marauders, Lily and her mother. It wasn't until Harry reached his parents bedroom that he found anything particularly personal.

Their room was large and comfortable looking, furnished in red and gold - fitting for two Gryffindors, married straight out of school. The carpet was red, as were the curtains and walls, with gold trimmed bed sheets and cushions. It wasn't overdone in anyway and it reminded Harry happily of the common room at Hogwarts. He smiled as he realised that his parents probably thought the same thing and had furnished their room this way on purpose. The rest of the house was relatively neutral in colour, except for Harry's room which had a bright blue door. At the foot of his parent's double bed, was a large chest with a cushion on top, so that it doubled as a seat. Harry, eager for something personal to remember his parents by, raised the lid with a creak to realise that it was slightly bigger on the inside and filled to the brim with old parchment, scrolls, letters, notes, workbooks and photos. He saw the handwriting and knew that it had belonged to his parents during their school days; James would have had the messy scrawl that reminded Harry of his own style, and Lily was the neat, small writing he could see on the front of a diary.

Eagerly, Harry cast a spell over the box of treasures that caused the contents to spring into life and order themselves neatly in chronological order (a handy spell that Hermione had taught him, of course). Settling down in the centre of the comfortable bed, Harry began to read…


	2. Lily in a Nutshell

Disclaimer: Alas and Alack, Harry Potter is still not mine!

AN - This is the first thing that Harry reads. It's Lily's mostly empty diary from her sixth year. Most of the story is set in their last year of Hogwarts, but I felt that this was necessary for character background. Enjoy:)

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Chapter 1 - Lily in a Nutshell:

Diary of Lily Jane Evans - 6th year Gryffindor Prefect

Dear Diary,

Why do people always write to their diaries? I mean clearly the diaries aren't going to talk back - they're inanimate objects, so what's the point of talking to them… unless you charm them to give a response. But that would be pointless. Anyway, to get to the point, personally, I don't much see the point of diaries. I don't really have the time either. I'm particularly studious. I like to have all my homework done early so that it's handed in on time and I can get the best possible results from my education. So really, this diary's a waste of time. I'll probably only use one page. But it was a Christmas present, so I may as well make the effort.

It's the first night before classes start and I don't really have anything left to do. But I can't go down to the common room, because a certain group of sixth years are making a racket and will undoubtedly annoy me senseless should I go down there, and it's too early to sleep. So I thought maybe, for the purposes of self preservation, I should write down all the major events in my life up until this point. Just in case someone casts the _oblivate_ spell on me and I cannot remember who I am.

So, I am a witch. Not just any witch, either. I am a muggle-born, I am a prefect, and I am the only person in this entire school who is not completely obsessed with James Potter. Yes, I know that the fact that I felt the need to write down my lack of obsession for Potter in a diary that shall undoubtedly be preserved for ever so that I may peruse it in years to come seems to contradict the statement that I give him little to no thought. But it's true. It seems that the whole school worships the ground he walks on. From a superficial point of view, I suppose I could be persuaded to understand why. He made quidditch captain by fifth year, is (by most girls standards) incredibly good looking (although I beg to differ - all that messy hair!) and is a renowned prankster, applauded for his work to disturb the school in new and entertaining ways (although I do not find turning the Great Hall into a tropical beach at Christmas particularly amusing). But why am I talking about Potter. This should be all about me.

I was born a year and a half after my older sister Petunia. We live in a small house with our parents. The rest of my family are non-magical, so it was quite a shock when I got the letter to Hogwarts. Mum and Dad were over the moon, and I was really excited too, obviously, because it meant I had found somewhere to fit in. But Petunia has been jealous ever since I came here. I think she desperately wanted to do magic too but, because she can't, she channels all her disappointment into contempt and aims it at me. It's so unfair. We used to be so close, we could tell one another anything. Now things are awkward. She's been dating this Vernon Dursley guy for about six months and I can't stand him. He's rude and obnoxious, and I'm sure Tuney could do better but I can't tell her that because it'll just make her mad at me more. Then she'll give me the silent treatment and make me feel even more alone. Don't get me wrong, I have great friends here at Hogwarts, but Tuney was always my best friend. She was older than me and, I always thought, a bit cooler too. But she can't accept that I'm different now, and that hurts.

But enough about my boring family. I have two best friends here at school, Catherine and Anna. Actually, I can't remember how we became friends. Probably on the Hogwarts Express we shared a carriage, but right now I can't really remember. Truth be told, I'm a bit distracted by the loud bangs and crashes coming from the common room… I'm going to go investigate.

Sirius Black and James Potter are the most insufferable pair of prats I have ever had the misfortune of meeting! I got down to the common room and they had set off Dervish and Bangs fireworks! That's not allowed - it's certainly unsafe in an enclosed area! What idiots! I gave them all warnings because I'm a prefect and am perfectly within my rights to report them and tell them off for stuff (which I think will be happening all year) but they just ignored me. Well, Sirius did. Potter took it upon himself to question my authority. And then he proceeded to ask me out - as if! I told him "From the very first moment I met you, your arrogence and conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realise that you were the last person I could ever be prevailed upon to go out with"… Okay, so I borrowed some classic literature. So what? It was completely wasted on Potter in any case, because he just asked me in what way was he selfishly disdainful. I couldn't be bothered responding to this - why waste my time explaining myself to him when he'd just come right back with another smart arse remark? I have to say, though, I was disappointed in Remus. As prefect, he should try to exercise some control over them, even if they are his best mates. It's his duty as a prefect. But whatever, I don't want to think about those stupid marauders for now. I'll threaten them with McGonagall tomorrow morning and then see what they have to say for themselves.

So, what was I saying before?

Catherine Jones, my best friend, comes from an all-magical family in London. She plays quidditch on the Gryffindor team as a chaser, and tells me she hopes to play professionally one day. I hope she gets to coz she really wants it, but if she doesn't I reckon she'd be a good coach. Our other friend, Anna Brown, is a blond-haired, blued-eyed, boy crazy pile of giggles. She's so air headed sometimes, I really wonder how she made it all the way to sixth year, but I know there's intelligence in there somewhere. In fact, I think she dumbs herself down to get the guys attention. But hey, everyone has flaws. Mine are that I tend to be overly critical of other people and I judge them without meaning to. Anyway, Anna is fiercely loyal and, because of her sweet, friendly disposition, will probably end up working as a journalist for the Daily Prophet… or Witch Weekly. Me, I want to work for the Ministry. I've always admired positions of authority because Dad used to be a policeman, before the early onset alzhiemers. I was thinking maybe the Department of Magical Law enforcement or Muggle Relations. An auror would be pretty cool too, and they'll probably need more of those in the coming years. There are rumours going around at the moment that there's a movement building behind a really powerful wizard. This guy's apparently the biggest supporter of the dark arts out there, and he is a purist and hates 'mud bloods' such as myself. So I figure the Ministry's gonna need all the help that they can get.

Nothing particularly eventful has happened to me since I've been at Hogwarts. I am a fairly high-achiever and I usually get the top of my class (if you don't count the marauders - who don't even study, thank you very much!). Potions is far and away my best subject, and the teacher Professor Slughorn is really great. I'm pretty good at the basics - transfiguration, charms, defence against the dark arts. I don't really like history of magic, but every one has to do it for a while. And I'm pretty good at ancient runes and arithmancy, not to mention care of magical creatures. I'm also a prefect and a member of the charms club.

Wow, this diary entry reads like a CV. What about likes and dislikes? I enjoy watching quidditch (don't tell James Potter, though, coz I tell him I don't even go to the matches. He needs to hear this to deflate that overly-large head of his!) but I never have been and hopefully never will fly a broomstick. Cath tells me it's a piece of cake, but somehow I just don't believe her. I love reading, especially muggle fiction, having grown up in a house full of muggles, and I like the classics - Shakespeare, Austen, etc. Remus and I discuss literature sometimes, when he's not hanging out with his immature friends. We're quite close, actually. We tried dating once in fourth year, but it didn't work out. He was too afraid I'd find out about his 'furry little secret' as I overheard Sirius calling it once. He didn't and still doesn't know that I know about him. He might have and inkling that I know but I think he's happier with us both pretending. So I haven't told him. But it's fine by me. It doesn't change my opinion of him, it just explains why he's always so tired and terrible looking once every full moon.

So, this diary entry is turning out pretty big, huh?

I'm actually enjoying it. Once you start talking about yourself, it's surprisingly easy to just keep going. Here are some other fun facts:

I love the smell of grass and rain on hot ground.

I hate individually wrapped slices of cheese that muggles eat.

I love pumpkin juice but not pumpkins.

I secretly wish I could fly, but I'm actually just a bit chicken.

I wish that my Dad wasn't so sick and that my Mum didn't have to look after him on her own while me and Tuney are away at school.

I wish Severus hadn't called me a mud blood, because now we can never go back.

I sometimes think that the marauders are quite funny, and actually kinda cool (but seriously, tell anyone and you're dead).

I sort of like the messy devil-may-care style of Potter's hair (The dead thing applies again here, but double! no, triple!!)

I think I'm going mad if I'm threatening an inanimate object. It's time I went to bed. And look, here come Cath and Anna. There's proof, it must be time to sleep.

Well, goodnight Diary. If you had dreams, I would wish you pleasant ones, because I'm that sort of lovely person, but you don't so I'm not going to.

Night!

Lily Jane Evans

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Hope that was satisfactory :) 

James' note-taking from sixth year will be coming up next to establish his character and then after that, we will jump forward to their 7th year for some good old fashioned 'boy gets the girl...eventually' action

Please review if you have time :) happy fanficcing!


	3. Passing Notes in Potions

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

AN - This is set during their sixth year, mid-May I think. It's a note passed around by the marauders, lily and her friend catherine in potions class. At the end, Harry reflects on the note because it was suggested by shetlandlace in order to add depth to the story. so yes - suggestions are welcome, as are reviews... VERY welcome, lol

Hope you like it :) enjoy!

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Chapter 2 - Passing Notes in Potions:

(James Potter, Lily Evans, **Sirius Black, ****Catherine,** _Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew)_

**Will someone please remind me why we decided to take this stupid subject?**

_Because, Pad-foot, you want to do well in school _

**Why?**

_Because you want to do something productive with your life_

No he doesn't. All he wants to do is chase pretty girls and play quidditch.

**Hey! I resent that comment.**

Tell me I'm wrong, then.

…

I knew it! But hey, there's nothing wrong with a life filled with quidditch.

**Couldn't agree more, el capitano!**

**Hey Cath, why are you writing on our piece of paper?**

**You think you're the only ones who get bored in Potions? Besides, I'm sitting at the next bench across from you, it's not hard to see what you're writing.**

**Now where were we? Ah yes, pretty girls. Well, you're one to talk, Prongs, you're completely obsessed.**

_Yes, but at least he contains his obsession to one girl, unlike someone I know._

cough, player, cough

**In my defence, let me please say that I just have a high appreciation for the opposite sex. That doesn't make me a 'player'. Anyway, at least I don't harass prefects to date me. I have one word for you, pathetic. No wait, two better words, lost cause. **

**Well, I think it's kinda cute.**

Thank-you Catherine.

**Yeah, sure it's a bit pathetic, and it annoys the shit out of Lily, but you know what they say - the course of true love never did run smooth.**

_Shakespeare, right?_

**Moony, you are such a nerd!**

_Ah, but you all love me anyway!_

Cath, do you reckon you could pass this piece of paper to Evans?

**Yeah, sure**

Good - Okay, Evans - if you're reading this, will you please go out with me? Next Hogsmeade weekend? You know you want to!

_She didn't write anything. I think that's a no. _

**Tough luck mate.**

_Maybe she can't think what to say_

**Don't be stupid, Wormtail, of course she can think of what to say. She's hard to shut up.**

**Hey, go easy on my best friend there Black**

**Well she is a bit of a control freak, you can't deny that!**

_She is a prefect though_

Yeah, I'm perfectly within my rights to tell you idiots what to do! And I'm telling you now to pay attention coz you're going to need to know this stuff for your NEWTs.

Evans!

…

Come on Evans, why not go out with me?

Why not go out with you?

Yeah, why not?

Why not go out with you, James Potter?

Yes, I James Potter - why are you repeating everything I write?

Why am I repeating everything you write?

Stop it Evans, you're being annoying!

I'm being annoying? Well, now you know how it feels!

**She's got you there James**

**I don't think that's helping!**

_She's got a point though._

Thank-you Remus

Moony, butt out. Evans, don't agree with him!

Don't tell me what to do!

Don't tell me what to do, then!

Why am I even bothering?

**Because secretly you want him so badly it hurts**

**You have quite the imagination, Sirius**

**Thank-you**

_I don't think that was a compliment_

**Lupin's right**

**Whatever. Why do you bother, Evans?**

No, Sirius, it's not coz I 'want him so badly'

Then why are you still here?

…

Crap, I've just scared her off again, haven't I?

_Looks that way_

Moony, you are so not helping. When next you fall head over heels for a girl, don't expect my dating advice!

_I won't need your help. I'm intelligent, good looking, etc. _

**Yeah, just ask Lily.**

_You shouldn't have said that, Pad-foot, look at James's face!_

He shouldn't bother answering me, coz I won't speak to him.

What do you mean ask Lily?!!

**They went out, remember?**

THEY WENT OUT!

_Yes, in fourth year? _

**I think you were too busy with, who was it? Melanie Johns from Hufflepuff. Yeah, coz I was with her sister at the time. It didn't work out between Moony and her though, Prongs, don't worry.**

DON'T WORRY!

**He seems to be a bit slow today. Do you reckon the potion fumes are going to his head?**

Nah, I don't think anything can get through that impossibly thick skull.

**Ouch, Evans are you going to be horrible to him all class?**

No.

Good.

When he decides to grow up and stop asking me out, then I might be persuaded to be civil to him

But you never told me why you won't go out with me in the first place!

…

Come on Lily, answer me this and I promise I won't ask you again.

**(He's got his fingers crossed)**

Okay, you want to know the real reason?

Yes!

Because you're arrogant, you're a rule-breaker, you have messy hair, you are intelligent without trying - which is really frustrating. You write notes in class when you should be studying. You pick on people who you think are beneath you - like Severus - you were awful to him and you didn't even apologise! What's more, you strut about the school like you own the place. You go through girls like crazy. And the main reason is, you are so annoying! You don't even like me. You're just in it for the thrill of the chase. So no, Potter, I will never ever ever go out with you!

**Wow, that was brutally honest**

**Yeah, I would leave her alone for a bit now James, she's a bit worked up. In fact, I'm gonna go too. See you guys at quidditch.**

**Bye Cath!**

_I think she needs some space. _

You think?

**Nah, it's so clear she's falling for you mate (note the sarcasm in this sentence)**

Shut up Pad-foot.

**Well, what are you going to do?**

I'll leave her alone… for a bit.

_You will?_

I'll try. It's nearly the end of the year. Who knows? Maybe next year she'll finally come around, or maybe I will get over her.

_Maybe after the match tomorrow, she'll find you irresistible_

Thanks Wormtail, but I doubt it.

**Don't sweat it, mate. Plenty more fish in the sea. **

Yeah, sure, whatever. You know, we should probably start making that potion. We've got, like, twenty minutes left.

_I've finished already, I'll help._

**Thanks Moony, you life-saver. So when's the next full moon.**

_A week from Thursday. _

**Excellent!**

_Maybe you should help James with your potion?_

**Yeah, right.**

Harry finished reading the crumpled piece of parchment feeling confused. How on Earth had his parents gotten it together? It was clear that Lily had hated James at this point, and she gave some pretty good reasons. His Dad had been a rule-breaker and a bit arrogant, not to mention he was popular with the girls. Well, that's what Sirius had said.

However, the piece of parchment didn't upset Harry. On the contrary, knowing that his parents got together by the end of seventh year, when just over a year before hand James couldn't get Lily to look at him twice, made Harry chuckle slightly. James had obviously been persistent, and Harry put that down to his innate capacity to love. At this point, it was unrequited, but it was still love. And Harry had an inkling that the reason for Lily's defiance of James at this point in her life was due to her growing feelings for him. Or at least, that's what he could tell from her one and only diary entry during her sixth year.

Another thing that Harry loved was how the note reminded him so strongly of Lupin and Sirius. It was so like Lupin to be the peacekeeper, and so like Sirius to be tactless... Well, Harry could imagine him not really thinking through the consequences of how he treated others. He was like that as an adult, a bit, just look at how his maltreatment of Kreacher caused so many problems. Harry found it easy to picture Sirius and James joking with each other easily about girls and quidditch and school. This gave him great comfort - his parents had clearly had great friends.

He was filled with a sudden sadness as he realised that every single person who had written on this piece of parchment was now deceased. He sat there for a minute, before deciding to read on. He wanted to know every possible detail of his parents' lives at Hogwarts.

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Hope that was satisfactory - please review if you have time! thanks :) 


	4. A Serious Look At Sirius

Disclaimer: If one day i wake up and suddenly own Harry Potter, you will be the first to know

AN - This chapter is written from Sirius's point of view and is hopefully true to his character. I think it is, anyway - for his teenage self. The style is inspired by a book called 'Finding Cassie Crazy' by Jaqueline Moriarty (disclaimer - i don't obviously own this either) and i highly recommend it to anyone who loves a good laugh and a bit of intrigue (not to mention romance).

Hope you like this chapter :) enjoy!

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Chapter 3 - A Serious Look At Sirius:

As Harry looked at the assortment of books, pieces of paper and random notes lined up in chronological order in front of him, he noticed that his parents had some how accumulated a lot of stuff from their friends. Namely Sirius and Lupin. The next bit of reading material seemed to be a page ripped from a muggle diary. Sirius's name was at the top of the page, which was dated late May. Harry, intrigued as he was by his godfather's playboy antics and nonchalant attitude, decided that this was definitely a piece of paper he had to read.

**Journal of Self-Discovery:**

**Name**: Sirius Black

**Age**: 16

**Sex**: Yes please

**This journal is intended for personal uses only. It is guaranteed that by the time you finish this journal, you will know more about yourself than you ever thought possible! But don't take our word for it, **(at which point Sirius had scrawled _Don't worry, I don't take your word for it. Wouldn't take your word for anything - you're a friggen book!_), **by the time this journal is full, you will have completed your journey of self-discovery.**

**A few quick questions to begin the ride of your life!**

**What made you decide to purchase the Journal of Self-Discovery?**

I didn't. What would make you think I would willingly spend my hard-earned galleons on some stupid, not to mention condescending, muggle hand book on 'self discovery'!? Seriously, why would you think that? Is it something I said? Who have you been talking to? Was it Peter - stupid little rat - he just wants to make himself look cool by comparison - don't listen to a word he says! Actually, I was given this 'journal of how to be a self-absorbed wanker' by my girlfriend on Valentine's Day.

**What do you hope to achieve from writing this diary?**

World peace… I don't hope to achieve anything - what can be gained from writing in a book, I ask you! No, I'm just waiting for Prongs to get back from Quidditch training. I'm in detention you see, and I'm waiting for him to get back from training and mirror me so I'm not bored out of my beautiful skull! So I'm writing in this to pass the time. Let me reiterate - it was the only spare parchment I had in my bag at the time - I had no choice!

So like I was saying, my stupid girlfriend gave this to me on Valentine's Day because she thought I was being 'distant' or 'aloof' or something. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't really listening to her reasons for giving me this absolute waste of space. I was too busy trying to remember why we were dating. As it turns out, I never remembered and I dumped her - I think it was the day after Valentine's. Anyone who buys you a journal or, dare I say it, a homework planner, as a gift does not deserve the time of day. Moony was awfully grumpy at me after that. Kept saying I had 'no tact' or something. Wasn't really listening to him either. I seem to remember that was the same weekend I hooked up with Elizabeth Prewett, so I was a bit distracted.

**So, Mr/Miss I-Want-To-Know-More-About-Me, tell us about yourself:**

That makes me sound conceited. I'm not conceited, just so you know. I am pretty selfless. Some of the time. Take full moons, for example. Me, Prongs and Wormtail all learned to become animagus to help ol' Moony - I think that pretty much clears me from conceit.

Actually, thinking about Valentine's Day - which was a fair while ago, might I add - we actually had a ball at school. It was a first and I think it's safe to say, a last, at Hogwarts. James was all moody and blue because Perfect Prefect Evans rejected him again. So us marauders decided we'd have a little fun. Mid-way through the ball, we transfigured the floor into jelly. Merlin it was funny! The whole sixth and seventh years sinking and covered in green jelly - classic! James's heart wasn't in it though, he couldn't even come up with a good enough excuse for McGonagall, which landed him (and, by extension, me) in detention.

**What about your friends, what are their names?**

Come to think of it, James has been acting strange for a while. At first I thought that it was the pressure of NEWTs but they aren't for a whole other year, and besides, Prongs doesn't stress about grades - he's naturally talented like me. So my next guess would be quidditch, but that doesn't fit either. We're on the top of the ladder, he's captain for Gryffindor and he has the best seeker in the school on his team (that's me, by the way. Feel free to bow down before me - I get it all the time). So I look at the only other thing he seems to think about these days, bar pulling pranks, and I arrive at Lily Evans. Prongs has been after her for years! I can't even remember when it started. But all I know is she's been rejecting him solidly for as long as I've known her. It's a bit harsh really. Why can't she just let him date her already? Because I seriously think that this is what's gotten him so down recently. I think it's more now to him than just her good looks (coz she is pretty hot) and the thrill of the chase. He says he's in love with her and I'm starting to believe him.

**Is there a significant other in your life?**

Now that you mention it… no. Well, would you look at that, I'm actually answering the questions that this stupid non-magical book is asking me. Has the world gone mad! Look, I've dated my fair share of girls. Perhaps a couple of other blokes fair shares as well, coz I've gone out with a lot of girls. But there's nothing wrong with that. Girls would accuse me of being a bit of a man-whore, as they day in the papers. But no, I disagree and would like to take this opportunity to defend my honour. Even if it is just to a book. I appreciate the opposite sex. I think they are lovely in pretty much every way (except for their gossiping, their lack of passion for quidditch, their need to travel in packs, etc). But for the most part I appreciate them. And let's look at things this way. They may think I'm being a 'player' or whatever, but really I'm just sharing the love. And they should be grateful. Who wouldn't want to go out with me? I'm a bloody heart-throb. Funny. Smart. A Prankster. Incredibly, nay, Unbelievably Good Looking. I'm doing them all a favour. There's plenty of Sirius to go around.

But there hasn't been a 'significant other' as they call it. I have the best friends in the world, though, so I think that makes up for it. Marauders forever!

**Tell us about your likes and dislikes:**

Well, I love love love quidditch - it's the world sport. I'm naturally gifted when it comes to transfiguration and charms. Not to mention DADA. I pretty much got all O's for my owls. I say pretty much coz History of Magic I got an E, but I even managed to fool the Divination examiner - just predict a soon-to-come gruesome death and you pass with flying colours. And, as previously mentioned, I like girls. Plus, I love full moons! I hate 'purists' of you can call them that. I hate my family and what they stand for. I hate the word mud-blood, and I want to hex those who say it to others into absolute oblivion. Above all, I hate Snivellus. He also goes by the names greasy, big-nose, loser, bat-face, stinky, loner, Severus Snape and a few others too rude to write down. He is the biggest prat in the entire universe. Thinking about him just makes my blood boil. Honestly, if he got hit by the killing curse tomorrow I wouldn't shed a tear. I have my reasons. Reason. That reason is my younger brother, who now falls under the category 'dislikes due to extreme stupidity in the face of danger in addition to disloyalty to own brother'. It's a pretty select category.

**Where are you at the moment? Is this a special place for you?**

If by 'special' you mean somewhere I spend more than half my time, then yes. I spend way too much time in detention, if you ask me. I think it's detrimental to my education. When I shared this theory with McGonagall, though, she just gave me one of her stares and that pretty much shut me up right away. Oh look, here comes James on my beautiful two-way mirror - joy of joys!

Sorry journal-of-complete-and-utter-wanky-rubbish, it's time I threw you in the bin!

**This is the end of the first 'Getting to know yourself' chapter. Throughout the book you shall continue to analyse your flaws and weaknesses whilst learning to appreciate your attributes and skills. This journal will help you to unlock the secrets of your inner-self, so keep at it tiger - you're doing well!**

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Hope you liked it! Please review if you have time :)


	5. 7th Times A Charm

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but looking at me you probably can't tell...

AN - On to the narration section. Great big chunks will be narrated from now on so that we can see whats going on in Lily and Jame's 7th year at hogwarts. There will be the occassional diary entry, etc here and there, but mostly it will be narrated coz it's easier to write

Hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint - i know lily reacting to the news that james is head boy has been done a lot in other lj fics, so i wanted to give her a bit of a reason for acting the way she does apart from her dislike from him. i hope that this comes across in the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think!! enjoy :)

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Narration: Seventh Time's A Charm:

It was the seventh and final time that Lily Evans would be catching the beloved Hogwarts Express from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was looking forward to the trip, as she couldn't wait to get back to school, but she had apprehensions. After all, her previous experiences on the scarlet steam engine hadn't exactly been pleasant. Her first year, she had sat alone in a carriage after spilling pumpkin juice all down her front in her nervousness. Second year she had tripped and ripped her new robes. Third year she had been busted cursing a Slytherin with the bat-bogey hex for calling her a filthy mud blood. Fourth, Fifth and Sixth year she had been constantly dogged by none other than James Potter, who persisted in asking her out. Of course she had rejected him on all these occasions (plus many more) but unfortunately he had never stopped trying.

This year, however, she was feeling confident - cool, calm and collected. This was all due to the shiny new badge she had pinned to the collar of her muggle clothing; it read _Head Girl_ in bold scarlet and gold lettering. Finally she had been given a means by which she could put a stop to Potter's insistent pestering. _Now I can threaten him with detentions if he won't leave me alone_, Lily thought to herself, smiling at the thought.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lily's two best friends were rushing towards her. The three embraced one another in a tight hug, before moving on to the standard conversation of how their holidays had been, who they had seen, how their families were, etc. Then came the topic of Hogwarts. While Lily was filled with a great sadness at the prospect of leaving school, her two best friends were over the moon.

"Can you imagine? This time next year, we will be free. No more charms, no more transfiguration, no more potions, it's gonna be fab!" said Anna Brown, the giggliest of the three girls. Blonde hair flowing over her shoulders as she dragged her enormous trunk behind her, she glanced around Platform 9 and 3 quarters, scouting for boys. Catherine and Lily smirked, recognising that look.

"I know that look" Lily said, deciding to put her two cents in"And you should really take a break this year, from guys I mean. We're doing our NEWTs, we have to be completely focused".

"Sorry, head girl, but we can't all be as dedicated to our studies as you" Anna mocked, waving at a Ravenclaw fifth year and flashing him a gorgeous smile.

"Oh stop teasing her" Catherine interjected, "You know she's just tense coz she wants to do well and get into healing or whatever"

"Magical Law Enforcement, actually Cat, but you're right. One more year and we're out in the real world. I want to be prepared" she grinned. Catherine Jones, the tanned, glossy-haired goddess of the quidditch pitch merely rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"Same dif, really. But I have to say, Lils, I reckon Anna's got the right idea. I need a boyfriend. And it's our last year too, so we're gonna need dates for the graduation ball and stuff".

Now it was Lily's turn to roll her eyes.

"Ever heard of taking a 'friend'? And anyway, Graduation's at the end of the school year - it's ages away"

"Never thought I'd hear that from little-miss organisation" scoffed Anna, as Catherine laughed.  
"You know, sometimes I wonder why you two are my friends" Lily said dryly, although she couldn't help but smile. As the trio dragged their trunks towards the end carriage of the train, they heard a loud whooping noise from behind them and turned around to see the source of the disturbance. To no-one's surprise, the noise was coming from James Potter and Sirius Black - the school's most renowned and good looking quidditch players-come pranksters. They, along with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, were the embodiment of mischief itself. Lily sighed as James and Sirius performed some sort of complicated hand-shake/hi-five combination. Something that was making them so happy and loud did not bode well for her, particularly with her new duties of responsibility as Head Girl. Choosing to ignore their little show, Lily turned to board the train, her two friends exchanging a knowing glance before following in her wake. As they stowed their luggage, conversation started again.

"So Lils, I actually forgot to congratulate you properly before. Head-girl, well done!" Catherine gave her a hug, before flopping back down into the seat opposite her.

"Yeah, it's great! We've got a woman on the inside now. Hey - we can do whatever we like!" joked Anna.

"I'm really looking forward to it" Lily admitted, smiling, "It's such a big responsibility and stuff. We get to tell the prefects what to do, and give out detentions, and we get our own common room".

"We?" Anna raised an eyebrow, as Catherine smirked involuntarily.

"Yeah, me and the head boy. I wonder who it is?" she pondered, staring out the window and giving the girls a chance to exchange incredulous looks.

"I reckon it could be Remus coz he was a prefect. Or maybe Diggory from Hufflepuff. What do you guys think?"

"I can't believe she hasn't heard" said Anna.

"I thought everyone knew by now!" replied Cat, grinning.

"Wait, you know who it is?" Lily sat forward, eyes wide, "Who?"

"You're not gonna like it Lils" Catherine said, barely suppressing a giggle. At that precise moment, the door to their carriage slid open and James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all piled in, the last three flopping down on the spare seats.

"Hey Evans, we should get going" James said, offering her his hand to help her up.

"I'm sorry?" she asked a little brusquely, completely oblivious as to why James Potter - the guy she had spent most of her schooling career alternately reprimanding for his bad behaviour, and turning down when he constantly asked her to go out with him - was talking to her as though they had somewhere to be.

"Front carriage. Student/leader briefing?" he said as though she was slow.

"What? You're a prefect?" she asked dumbly.

"Nope" he grinned, as realisation dawned on her face.

"You are not.." she said.

"Yes I am. Ladies and gentlemen," he addressed the carriage, "you are looking at your new Head Boy. Feel free to applaud, bow down and curtsey before me, oh lowly subjects". At this point the marauders, Cath and Anna burst into applause, and Lily fell off her seat.  
"Evans, what are you doing on the floor, I didn't literally mean bow down."

"Looks like you're in with a chance, Prongs, she can't help but worship the very ground you walk on" Sirius said jokingly. Surprisingly, James flushed a bit at this comment, and withdrew the hand he had extended to help Lily get up with.

"Sorry to disappoint you Evans," he said, attempting some humour to lighten the mood, "Dumbledore just chose the best man for the job. Lucky you, ey?" he grinned. Lily ignored the fact that he was trying to be nice to her, determined as she was not to have an embarrassing journey on the Hogwarts express. Right now, James Potter and his divine hair were making that very difficult!

"Oh deflate your overly large head, Potter. I was just so shocked that Dumbledore could have chosen someone so irresponsible and arrogant and rude and, and" she cast around for another insult, "thick to be our head boy!" and with that she turned on heel and stalked out of the carriage, leaving James with a very confused expression on his face. "Something I said?"


	6. Fibbing on the Hogwarts Express

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Yes, I can hear your shocked gasps, but it's true

AN - Another Narration chapter. To refresh your memories - Lily has just stormed out of the carriage and James is looking terribly upset, even though he's trying to hide it... aww! Hope you like it :) enjoy

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Chapter 4 - Fibs on the Hogwarts Express:

As Cat and Anna exchanged worried glances, Sirius continued to laugh loudly, with Peter joining in timidly. James flopped into a seat looking dejected.

"Prongs, mate, I thought you wanted to get on Evans' good side this year. What's going on?" Sirius said, when his amusement had subsided. James scowled at him.

"Honestly, I don't get that girl. I was just trying to lighten the mood"

"Well I thought it was funny" Peter chipped in.

"Yeah, well that's coz you are seriously lacking in tact, my friend" Cat said, raising an eyebrow at the boys.

"Well, what do you suggest?" James asked, leaning forward as though he was genuinely interested in her opinion - after all she was one of Lily's best friends.

"First of all, let's clear some of this business up," Anna butted in with a business-like tone, "Do you still like Lily?"

"Yeah, of course I like her. She's a great person" he replied as evasively as possible. Unfortunately for him, Anna wasn't fooled.

"No, stupid, I mean do you still fancy her?"

And here it was. The question of the century. Does James Potter still like Lily Evans? Stupid question!

-James-

_That was a stupid question. Of course I will always love Lily, no matter what happens. But clearly the feeling is not reciprocated. Why go through all the pain of getting my hopes up again and again just to be rejected, again and again? And why disrupt the school year, particularly Lily__'__s, with notions of us getting together? I really don__'__t want to upset her, especially considering it__'__s our NEWT year, and Lily has her heart set on getting top results. No. It would be better for everyone concerned if I treat her like a normal person. No more chasing after Evans. And it starts today. As of today no more asking Evans out, no more declaring undying love for her, and no more staring at her or dreaming about stroking her long, auburn hair. _

These thoughts and many more (all Lily-centric) passed through James' head in an instant before he replied.

"No" he replied simply, "I do not fancy Evans anymore. Not like that"

"What!?" yelled Cat, Sirius, Anna and Peter. Remus just stared at James with a probing look on his face, his eyes distinctly resembling Dumbledore's x-ray stare. James looked back at the collection of shocked faced, unable to face Remus, and repeated what he had said. "Nope. I've decided that this is a year too important to be interrupted by chasing after Evans. Besides, I'd rather be her friend than nothing at all".

"But she was the love of your bloody life, mate. What went wrong?" Sirius barked.

"I've just grown out of it, I spose. But that doesn't mean I don't care if she hates me. I don't want her to hate me!" James replied.

"Okay, okay, so let me get this straight. You, James Potter, have had a crush on Lily Evans since, I dunno, third or fourth year. But now, out of the blue, you claim that you just want to be friends?" Cat said slowly, as if addressing a confused toddler.

"Look, I don't have to explain to you why I don't fancy her any more. I've just sort of grown out of it. I'm Head Boy and I have other responsibilities to take care of" he finished, matter of factly.

"Well in that case, I have no advice to give. I am nothing more than a hopelessly romantic matchmaker trying to help out her friends" Anna sighed tragically, while Sirius snorted.

_Good, I__'__ve got them convinced, _he thought proudly, _except for Moony. He will just have to keep his big mouth shut__…__. And me, I need to convince myself. I spose that can wait. _

"Well, if that's the end of the interrogation, I have a prefects meeting to attend to. You coming Moony?"

"Yeah, sure, see you later guys" Remus said, and with that they left the carriage in shocked silence.

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-Catherine-

_Well, that was odd. Okay, so I expected Lily to blow up at James. Even I'm confused about why Dumbledore made him head boy. But what, what in the name of Merlin's magical arse, has gotten into James? He loved Lily, okay, in bloody love! And I could tell. I've been in love, (not that Anna or Lils know), and I know what it feels like. I can tell these things, and last year I swear James was beginning to fall for her. I'm pretty sure it's not just the thrill of the chase anymore. I could've sworn that James loved her! So what went wrong? Lily has yelled at him a lot over the past few years and he's never taken it to heart, so I'm pretty sure it's not that. Maybe he's found someone else? Actually, no, upon reflection James falling for someone other than Lily is absurd! There's no way that's possible. Which leaves only one option. He lied. Aha! He LIED! He still loves Lily! Oh, I could do the happy dance right now - my best friend still has a chance with the man she was meant to be with. Anyone can see it, they're meant to be together. So why is he lying? It must be a good reason, coz for James to lie about such a big thing… I'd better keep this to myself, especially if it's part of some grand plan._

_Oh, Anna's talking to me. What's she on about?_

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"So, Moony, looking forward to another year as a perfect prefect?" James asked, as they made their way towards the carriage where the meeting was being held.

"Why'd you lie, Prongs?" Remus replied; honesty always had been the best policy with him.

James sort of choked on his next breath of air.

"Wh-what?! What are you-, what do you mean?" he spluttered, face turning a dull pink.

"Come off it James, you still fancy Lily. Why'd you lie?" Remus stopped, turning to face James with the 'Dumbledore look'.

"I don't know what you mean" James folded his arms stubbornly, quickly regaining his composure - he was no love-sick puppy, after all!

"Okay, let's try this again. Are you just saying that you've stopped liking Lily so that you can be friends with her and she won't hate your guts, or have you actually moved on?" Remus persisted.

"Why would I say that I've stopped liking Evans if I haven't?" James questioned, because he was starting to wonder himself.

"You would say that you didn't fancy her for a number of reasons even though you still do. These are the reasons: You want Lily to like you as a friend first, because then she can finally see what sort of a person you really are. You want your friends to lay off about her because their tasteless innuendo is what contributes to Lily hating you so much in the first place-"

"You think she still hates me?" James interrupted, concern in his eyes.

"Shall I continue?" Remus raised an eyebrow at his friend's distress.

"Actually, I just got my answer, so never mind," Remus said as he continued walking down the train.

"Hold on, so do you believe me or not?" James asked from behind him.

"I believe what you want me to believe" was the cryptic reply. James shrugged, taking that as a yes, and continued on to face the wrath of Lily Evans in all her Head Girl glory.

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_-Sirius-_

_That was interesting._

_Prongs not in love with Evans? Didn't see that one coming. Mind you, she has been pushing his buttons for a long time, I'm not surprised he's finally cracked. If he still liked her, I would try to help, after all I'm his best mate, but I'll take his word for it… For as long as it takes. He thinks he's fooling us. Pfft, I don't think so. Peter's convinced though. Then again, he's not the brains trust._

_Cat's looking good. She's got one of those healthy summer glows, I wonder if she went away on holidays. Didn't hear from her all summer when I was at Prongs'. Maybe I should ask. Oh, she's talking to Anna. I'll do it later._

_…_

_Where's the food trolley? I'm starving. I could really go a cauldron cake. Ooh, maybe a pumpkin pastie or two. Food…

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_

"So Cat, what do you think?" Anna asked Catherine, who had been staring at the door after Remus and James with a distant look on her face.

"Hello, Earth to Catherine! You still in there?" she waved a hand in front of her face, snapping her fingers.

"Wha- oh, sorry, I was just thinking"

"Hope it didn't hurt too much" Sirius grinned.

"Shut up Black!" she said, chucking a book at him.

"Ouch!"

"Actually, I was thinking about your stupid best friend. Since when is James over Lily?"

"I know, that was strange wasn't it" Anna said, "Do you think he's got another crush?"

"What, on someone other than Lily?" Sirius said, disbelievingly, "Not likely!"

"Well, maybe he's gay?" Anna offered, "I mean, he IS incredibly good looking and single..."

"What! Prongs? I think not! Besides, working to your logic, I would be gay too, and I have to say right here right now that I have never thought about a bloke that way!" he said emphatically.

"Me thinks thou doth protesteth too much" Cat grinned.

Sirius chucked the book back at her in retaliation. This resulted in various possessions of the remaining carriage occupants being chucked around the room in a massive would-be pillow fight (had there actually been pillows present). It ended only when the trolley witch knocked politely on their door, offering an array of tasty wizard treats. Sirius, now sporting a spectacular bruise on his forehead (which he claimed didn't hurt at all - even though Cat wouldn't stop apologising), tripped over his own feet in the hurry towards food.

Minutes later, they were all happily munching on their lunch, discussing Quidditch and NEWTs, all thoughts of their romantically-challenged friends forgotten.

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Please review! More reviews faster updates, Faster updates More chapters, more chapters happy fanficcers! like the logic?

Thanks for reading :)


	7. Old Habits Die Hard

Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter - this disclaimer is just a painful reminder of what i can never have! sobs hysterically

AN - Okay, dramatic turn around in this chapter, so watch out for it. Really, it's just a show of how much lily really does love james... deeeeeeep down. Enjoy:)

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Chapter 6 - Old Habits Die Hard:

Remus and James arrived at the Prefect's carriage a good five minutes late to find Lily Evans conversing pleasantly with a handsome sixth-year Hufflepuff prefect. He couldn't help but feel that uncomfortable gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, which he was unable to immediately identify as jealousy. This was because James Potter had never felt this sort of intense, burning jealousy before - generally speaking he was a easy-going, trusting kind of guy. He had only ever felt vague disappointment when Lily had refused to go out with him - he had never had to contend with other guys. Not that he was about to start now, of course, he only wanted to be friends. Nevertheless, he had to restrain himself from cursing that overly-confident heap of dragon dung, who went by the name of Abbott, into complete oblivion. Remus, who was watching this internal struggle that was apparently written all over James' face, elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"Ouch! Moony, what was that for?" he exclaimed loudly, successfully getting the attention of every single person in the carriage. Lily's demeanour changed immediately, as she placed her hands on her hips and glared at James.

"Nice of you to finally show up" she said, forgetting about Remus for the time being.

"Yeah, sorry, got held up by some Slytherins" James lied easily - he wasn't a marauder for nothing, after all.

"So, what are we doing now?" he asked the carriage at large, flashing them all a congenial smile.

"Lily was just about to hand out the roster for cleaning the common rooms and for corridor patrol" replied a pretty Ravenclaw.

"Why thank you, uh?"

"Marlene" she replied shyly.

"Thanks Marlene" he replied, smiling broadly at her, amused to see her blushing under his gaze. Apparently this had not gone unnoticed by Lily either, who cleared her throat loudly.

"If I'm not interrupting, Potter, maybe you should tell everyone about the responsibility that comes with being a prefect" Lily said harshly, knowing full well that he had never been a prefect for the obvious reason that he was one of the biggest trouble-makers in the entire school. _This should put him in his place,_ she thought to herself, _Let's see him charm his way out of this one. Potter! As if he knows anything about responsibility. Although, he is quidditch captain, I spose. Hmm, he does look rather good on a broom, in fact, he generally looks rather good. STOP! What are you thinking? And about James Potter!? Focus, Lily, at least pretend to hear what he's saying!_

Lily pulled herself out of this ridiculous and, frankly, disturbing reverie to hear James conclude with, "I know I'm one to talk, what with all the pranks and whatnot, but I've always known where to draw the line and when to stop. So, in answer to your question - was it Stebbins? - yes, a little bit of mischief is alright, but as leaders within Hogwarts it is our duty to step in before things can get out of hand".

_Impressive speech,_ thought Lily before she could stop herself.

"And also, it's important to remember that while you are leaders within the school, you are also students. Try not to abuse your power, but most importantly do not let your responsibilities get on top of you. Time management and organisation are imperative to keeping your life in balance, especially now that you are entering the last few years of your education. So if your duties are getting to you, please feel free to come and see myself or James about it, because we're always here to help. And, I think that about sums up everything, so you'd better go get changed into your school robes and set a good example. Thank you". There was a polite round of applause before the carriage emptied, leaving Lily and James and Remus.

"I'll meet you back in our carriage" muttered Remus, with that annoying knowing look on his face again.

"Sure" James replied, now painfully aware of the silence hanging between himself and Lily, so he took a stab at relieving it.

"So, Lily, impressive words" he smiled awkwardly. Lily was taken aback by this. Firstly, since when did Potter call her Evans? And secondly, since when did he start listening to her when she spoke about school stuff.

"Err, thanks?" she replied, raising an eyebrow in what she hoped was an intimidating look. She failed.

"So, do you think they'll get stressed with their duties and stuff? I mean, Moony always seemed to cope fine" James tried again. Lily was, again, surprised by this statement - James suddenly cared about others. Well this was certainly something she hadn't noticed before now.

"I think they should be fine. You're right, Remus coped for the past few years. Despite his furry little problem" she said without thinking.

"Wait! You know about, about..?" James turned to her, wild-eyed, "How?!"

"I worked it out in third year, but please don't tell him I know! I'm sorry, it just slipped out" she gabbled.

"Does anyone else know? Did you tell anyone?"

"No. It wasn't my secret to tell. But I assumed you knew" she said, apologetically.

"You can't tell anyone, got that? If he even knew that you knew! Swear you won't tell anyone, Lily" he commanded.

"I promise, James. Sorry I mentioned it" she looked at the floor, not only to avoid his accusing stare, but so that she could stop thinking about how beautifully hazel the eyes were that were giving her that accusing stare.

"Hold on, you called me James" he said, visibly brightening up.

"Wha- no, no I didn't" she said automatically.

"Yes, you did. You said 'I promise, James' you did!" he said joyfully.

"So what if I did?" she said defensively.

"Does this mean you don't absolutely hate me anymore?" he asked hopefully.

"Shut up Potter, before I hex you into oblivion" she threatened, refusing to meet his eye. "Dumbledore made us Head Boy and Girl for the year so I'm going to make an effort. Do not mistake this with me liking you. As far as I'm concerned you're still as arrogant, rude and annoying as ever."

"Ah, Evans, you just haven't given me a chance to prove my worth to you" he grinned.

"Firstly, stop calling me Evans" she huffed as they neared their carriage,

"Old habits die hard," he interjected, "But I'll try".

"And secondly," she continued, "don't you dare ask me out this year"

"For your information, Lily, I wasn't going to ask you out" he said emphatically, still avoiding her eyes so that he could avoid the truth.

"Oh… you weren't? Sorry, I just… that's embarrassing" she muttered, cheeks glowing red.

"I just want to be your friend" James said, trying to put a stop to her discomfort, "So I'm going to try that for a while, if you'll let me". It wasn't a question, it was a fact. "And, you know, being the fair, logical person that you are, I'm sure you'll see that everybody deserves a second, or third, or fourth chance" he concluded, knowing that he had won the argument (albeit through careful flattery and emotional manipulation).

'Yeah, I- sorry. Of course. Head boy and girl should be friends" replied Lily, "After all, we do get to share a common room together."

"A common room? Awesome! Private parties, midnight feasts," he caught Lily's disapproving look, "Late night study sessions, planning school events" he grinned.

Lily's knees almost gave way beneath her at the sight of James' radiant smile. In fact, unfortunately for her, they did. James, saw her falling before Lily even realised what was happening, caught her with ease. Unfortunately for him, he tripped backwards over his own feet (ah, yes, the coordination and grace of a star quidditch player) and the two of them fell over the threshold of the open door to their compartment. Lily's fall was cushioned by James' warm and strong body, as his arms held her protectively close. She suddenly felt a shiver up her spine that had nothing to do with any illness. By some sort of cosmic coincidence, James felt the exact same sensation, but prevented himself from shivering when, to his shock, he noticed Sirius, Remus, Cat and Anna all staring down at him with shocked expressions on their faces. Peter was unnoticeably absent.

"Lils, what are you doing?" stage-whispered Cat, causing Lily's brain to finally focus. When it did, she realised that she had nearly fainted, nay she had swooned because Potter had smiled at her! Smiled! That was no reason for her logic-abiding legs to collapse beneath her! Furthermore, she suddenly realised to her extreme discomfort, that she was lying on her stomach, on top of Potter's stomach, staring down into his eyes, with her arms on either side of him while his perfectly toned arms were wrapped around her waist. He had a confused look on his face, as if he, like Lily, had no idea what had just happened. Sirius broke the moment of silent realisation with a wolf whistle. At this point, and to everybody's general surprise, James swiftly wriggled out from under Lily (gently, of course) and sprung to his feet.

"I, err, am going to find the lunch trolley" he said quickly, and dashed off down the corridor.

"Oi, Prongs! Wait up" called Sirius, following him out.

Remus bent down and gave Lily a hand up. She was still feeling slightly dizzy, and was wondering if maybe she had forgotten to eat breakfast that morning or something. There had to be a logical reason for her to fall. There just had to be.

"Lily? What the?" cried Anna.

"You know what, I think this is a girly conversation that I'm going to regret hearing if I stick around" Remus said uncomfortably, moving towards the door.

"What? Why? What makes you think this will be a girly discussion?" Lily rushed, paranoid that people would assume things about her that simply weren't true.

"Well, I just think that you guys might want some private time. I need to find Peter anyway" he said diplomatically, walking out of the compartment.

"Well?" Anna demanded as soon as the door slid shut behind Remus.

"Well what?" Lily replied irritably, annoyed with herself for her momentary lapse of sanity.

"I think what Anna is trying to say is how come you and James just crashed in here on top of one another and then stayed there?" Cat reasoned.

"You saw us, we fell. Well I fell and-"

"Yeah, you did fall, huh" grinned Anna.

"No! Not like that! Don't be such a gossip. My legs just sort of collapsed underneath me and James caught me and we both fell. Oh my gosh, how embarrassing" she said as she sunk down into one of the cushy chairs, placing her head in her hands.

"James, ey? Sounds like he's the one that made you fall… for him!" squealed Anna.

"Don't be stupid. Lily hates James" Cat said.

"No I don't. I don't hate him" said Lily quietly, head still covered.

"Since when?" demanded Cat, giving Anna the wide-eyed look of shock.

"We are Head boy and girl, so I'm making an effort. And so is he" Lily replied, "So don't make a big thing out of it. He wants to be friends. So we'll see"

Anna opened her mouth to speak, but Cat gave her an I-don't-think-we-should-push-it-because-Lily-will-eventually-realise-she's-in-love-with-Potter-of-her-own-accord-as-in-without-us-interfering kind of look. After a moment, the girls decided to change into their school robes as lunch had finished a short while ago and it would save them doing it later.

About half an hour later, the three girls were sitting in the compartment playing a game of exploding snap, when Sirius, James and Remus walked in looking exhausted. And also covered in stinking green goo.

"What in Merlin's name happened to you three?" exclaimed Cat as they flopped down onto the remaining seats.

"Eww, don't get too close Black, you reek" cried Anna as Sirius jokingly stretched a slime-covered hand towards her half-eaten cauldron cake.

"We had an.. Encounter" sighed Remus.

"With whom?" Lily questioned, although she could guess the answer.

"Some Slytherins" James replied shortly, not wanting to get into an argument about Snivellus and his death eater cronies.

"They hit us with some curse that we'd never even heard of as we were on our way back from the food trolley," said Sirius, "And we were momentarily incapacitated. It was at this point that our darling comrades in green decided to slime us with the latest model dung bombs from Zonko's. But we got them good" he smiled, grimly.

"What did you do?" Cat asked sternly.

"Oh, a body-bind curse here, a bat-bogey curse there. In the end they looked akin to four fat slugs in Hogwarts uniforms" James said nonchalantly. If Lily was to be asked what she was thinking at this point in time it would have been how much she wished she could have been up there cursing Slytherins with Potter and the rest, because quite frankly they were a rotten bunch. But her Head Girl responsibility forced her to ask the question "Did you have to curse them, coz we can't condone violence on the school train". It was clear her heart wasn't in this sentence, for Sirius merely laughed at her and said "Oh come on Evans, you would have done the same. Admit it, four on three, they had it coming".

"Sorry Lily, won't happen again" James said grinning, "But could you please help me get this goo off my robes. You don't want to be stuck with a stinky head boy, would you?"

"Too late" she joked, muttering scourgify under her breath and restoring him to his pristine former self.

"Thanks Lils" he grinned.

Secretly, Lily and James' friends were silently thanking the Slytherins for their stupid prank, for it seemed to have engendered a spirit of friendly camaraderie (almost) between the two. Needless to say, the rest of the journey to Hogwarts was spent playing games of exploding snap, contemplating the hard months of study to come and heartily insulting the Slytherins at every opportunity. All animosity between Lily and James seemed to have apparently evaporated… for now. Like they say, old habits die hard.

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what did you think? please review! if you have nay suggestions for what you would like to see happen in the near future, let me know because i have a vague-ish idea... very vague - so suggestions are really welcome :) thanks for reading! 


	8. The First Night Back at Hogwarts

Disclaimer: Still nope. i do not own harry potter!

AN- this is the longest chapter i've ever written for fanfic ever so i hope you appreciate it!

first half is lily's diary, the second is in narrated form about sirius and james - it's kind of filler but is necessary in terms of setting up romantic fluff, adversity and then happiness later on. enjoy!

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Chapter 7 - The First Night Back at Hogwarts:

-Lily-

Now, before you judge me, let me explain myself to you. I am not writing this out of choice. These diaries were given to all the students at Hogwarts by Dumbledore this evening at the Great Feast. He said that due to the rise of a certain dark wizard, the magical protection around the school had been tightened but that we were still at moderate risk. He has added occlumency to the syllabus of all levels of Defence Against the Dark Arts. So we were given these diaries in order to 'empty our minds' each night before sleep, so that we were not weakened with worry or something like that. I still don't see how a diary is going to help. I mean we're in seventh year so it's inevitable that we are going to stress out. But hey, who am I to argue with authority!! James was reading over my shoulder and just said 'usually the first in line' - he's just trying to aggravate me. Anyway, as I was saying, as Head Girl I need to set an example, something the Head Boy is failing to do.

He just informed me that he too is writing in his diary, the nosy git. Yes, James, you are being a git - stop reading over my shoulder! Thank you!

Okay, maybe this requires further explanation, after all if you had known me at all before today you would be asking yourself why intelligent, caring, rule-abiding Lily Evans sharing a room with altogether bad-influence James Potter? Yes James, you are a bad influence! Because you break rules. No not just occasionally. Stop it! Go away!

Good, he's gone back to the Gryffindor common room to find Sirius - I think he wants to show him our new living quarters. I'd better relocate to my bedroom so they don't annoy me later. That's right I said bedroom not dormitory - the Heads living quarters rock!

So, this is actually quite fun once you start. And it's not like I've got any homework to do yet. Although James and I do have to patrol the corridors tonight for about an hour. More time I have to spend in his infuriating company. You know what? Sometimes I think Dumbledore did this on purpose. I caught him looking at Potter at dinner, and I could have sworn he winked at him! But maybe I'm being paranoid. So that's what he's reduced me to? A suspicious, spying… no, that's not me at all. Besides, I'm getting off topic.

Let me tell you about this evening - it was rather eventful. And, for once, I mean in a good way.

I always enjoy the start of term feast. I love the sorting because you get to see the new talent that's coming to your house and also it reminds you of how small and innocent you once were. I felt sad knowing that this was the last sorting I would be able to see, but at the same time I felt proud of myself and of what I have made of my education. That sounded stupid. But it's true. I am proud of my achievements - why shouldn't I be? Anyway, after that Dumbledore announced James and I as Heads. There was a shocked gasp at James' name but lots of applause (he really is very popular) and I think that the general consensus is that we will be good leaders this year. I'm really excited about the responsibility - although patrolling with Potter is not something I'm particularly looking forward to.

After dinner, we followed the Gryffindor prefects, got the password to the common room (Cinderella) and supervised in there for a bit to make sure everyone was settling in nicely. Everyone went to bed pretty quickly coz classes start tomorrow. Cat and Anna were kind of sad that I wouldn't be sharing a room with them anymore, but they tell me that they're glad that they don't have to listen to me snore anymore. Which is ridiculous because I don't snore. But at least they have Alice. We all four used to be really close but then Alice became involved with a Hufflepuff in the year below us - Frank Longbottom. He's lovely and I'm really happy for them but since they got together we sort of drifted apart. Maybe now that there's just the three of them in the dormitory we will become better friends again. Who knows?

So those two went to bed, as did the rest of the Marauders, so James and I decided to find our new Head Boy and Girl living quarters. I tell you what, diary, this is the part I've been most looking forward to. Don't get me wrong, I love sharing a room with my friends, but I enjoy my solitude a lot and in a dormitory solitude is hard to come by. So when I read in the letter that we get our own rooms, I was so excited.

James and I eventually located our rooms - somewhere on the seventh floor, behind a large painting of a woman, a man and a lion. The password - Godric Gryffindor - opened the painting and it was big enough so that we didn't have to crouch to get through (and it makes a nice change!). I was completely gob smacked when I walked into the room, because for just two people it was far grander and larger than I had expected. Imagine this:

A large room with polished wooden floorboards, covered in plush crimson and gold rugs. On the immediate right hand side, there are two doors. Behind the first is a bathroom (for the two of us to share…) that is seriously ridiculous. Marble floor, white sunk bath that I swear is actually a swimming pool, twin sinks and mirrors along one wall, complete with two toilets and a spare shower just in case the bath isn't good enough! Behind the second is a short staircase to James' bedroom. In the middle of the room is a large, extremely comfortable couch (where I was just sitting before) flanked by about three or four cushy armchairs, all facing a crackling fireplace set into James' wall, as I've decided to call it. On the left wall are two doors. The first leads to a stationary cupboard of sorts, where James informs me he will also keep his broom and his collection of illegal Zonko products. When I ask him why he can't keep this junk in his room he replies 'because there's a perfectly good cupboard to put it in'. When I hit him upside the head, he scowls and then tells me that I can't stop him. When I hit him upside the head again, I think he gets the message. Anyway, the second doorway clearly shows the ancient staircase which leads up to my own bedroom, which has a lovely view of the Great Lake out of the window. Back in our common room, the rest of our individual walls are covered in one massive bookshelf each, containing books that no doubt relate to either our individual studies or the importance of leadership (or some such instructive material). Also, two desks are sat facing each other in front of these aforementioned bookshelves, so if James and I ever decided to study at the same time (which I doubt will happen, because he doesn't study!) it will make for a very awkward staring competition. The wall opposite the painting entrance is painted a lovely crimson colour like the rest of the room, but in the middle has two doors that open out onto a small balcony. I swear I've never noticed this balcony from below before, but it has an amazing view. The same one I get from my bedroom window. There's a small and wooden circular table with two equally rickety looking chairs on wither side. It'd be a nice place for breakfast, when I think about it - you could watch the sun rise. On the wall of the painting are all the mini portraits of former Head Boy and Girls. They sit together in their tiny frames (because there's a lot of them!) underneath the very first Head Boy and Girl, who smile down on us. It would be a bit creepy, except usually they all pretend to be asleep or are off in other portraits throughout the castle, conversing with more interesting subjects. Well, as far as I know.

So, yes, that is our new common room, and I couldn't be more excited!

At the moment I'm sitting on the window seat writing this, looking down on the glassy black expanse of water that is the lake. If I squint, I can make out the infamous beech tree where the marauders usually hang out.

…

This diary is supposed to empty my mind before sleep, but it's not doing a very good job. In fact, if anything, it's making me think about things more than I usually would. For example, the reason we were given these diaries is cause enough for concern. It's changing out there. I don't know why but I just can feel something coming. Dumbledore seems to think that there is a Dark Wizard out there somewhere who will cause great destruction to our lives. There has been nothing in the Daily Prophet, nothing by word of mouth. I've heard of no strange disappearances or anything. And yet, I do have this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach…

Oh well, maybe Dumbledore's just being cautious or something. Maybe he's imagining it. Is he cracking up? Surely not! Then again, he did appoint Potter Head Boy…

OH NO! What the hell is wrong with me? I just stared off out of the window, thinking about Potter! What's going on? I shouldn't be thinking about him, let alone writing about him. It's bad enough that he's in most of my classes. It's bad enough that I have to spend inordinate amounts of time with him on Heads' duties. But no, he should not be in my head nearly as often as he is.

Allow me to write out the little argument my brain insists on having with itself. Perhaps this will help empty my mind:

I need to stop thinking about James Potter. He's a bad influence. He's noisy, arrogant, conceited and a rule breaker to boot! He doesn't deserve all this head space!

_Ah Lily, think about it - he's not as arrogant as he once was, or conceited and he has yet to pull a prank this year._

It's the first night back!

_Yes, but that's still an improvement for him. And he hasn't asked you out yet._

What's that got to do with anything? Hmm? Why would I care if he asked me out or not?

_I suppose the fact that you're yelling at yourself in your own head proves that you don't care, huh?_

Oh shut up! Why am I writing this down? Is it so I can feel humiliation when I read it back later?

_No, it's because secretly you enjoy writing about James._

Why do you keep bringing him up?

_I am you, stupid, YOU keep bringing him up._

Well forgive me, your almighty voice-in-my-head-ness.

_I would forgive you, but you don't mean it. You enjoy thinking about him._

Do not!

_Puh-lease. I'm in your head, remember?_

Oh yeah? Well you won't find anything good about Potter in there!

_Wanna bet? What about all these thoughts about today?_

I - I don't know what you mean.

_Don't insult my, actually it's your, intelligence. You were thinking about him just now when you were staring out the window. You were thinking about how strong his arms were when he caught you today on the train. You were thinking about how you wished it could've lasted longer. You were- _

Enough!

No, no and double no! And just for good measure - NO!

That's it, no more transcribing my insanity.

Besides, I should probably go and see if Potter (yes I know, I'm mentioning him again - so call the police!) and Black are downstairs to make sure that they don't inadvertently burn down the place or something. Goodnight

Xo Lily.

* * *

"Padfoot, mate, wait til you see it, it's bloody awesome!" James exclaimed as he and Sirius hurried under the cover of the invisibility cloak towards the head's common room.

"Come on, Prongs, it's just a room" Sirius said, hunched over to keep their feet from showing.

"Yeah, but just wait. It's so cool"

"Can't be better than a dorm with your buddies, though" Sirius replied, unable to keep a hint of bitterness from his voice. James stopped and turned to face him under the cloak. By this point they were actually outside the password painting.

"Are you upset about that - that I'm leaving you with Moony and Wormtail?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No" Sirius replied, looking moodily at the floor.

"Listen mate, if it'll make you feel better, I can still come and sleep in the dorm with you guys" James offered. He truly was a good friend.

"Nah, I'm sorry" Sirius replied, "Just gonna miss you, is all", he shuffled his feet.

"I can sleep over like once a week if you like?" James offered tentatively, "You know, keep the old gang together and all that"

"Cool!" Sirius said loudly, "I mean, once a week's good. We can't have you missing an opportunity for alone time with Evans, can we?" he grinned. James chose not to reprimand his friend for teasing him about Lily, who he kept having to remind people that he liked 'as a friend'. At this point the painting swung open, and the girl in question stepped out, peering up and down the corridor. Of course James and Sirius were under the cloak so she still couldn't see them. James had slapped a hand over Sirius' mouth and was trying desperately to stop breathing.

"Hello?" Lily called out tentatively. She sounded almost frightened. This was unusual - generally Lily was the picture of confidence, but now, all alone in a deserted corridor (without her wand, abandoned on the couch), she seemed quite vulnerable. She stared right at where James was, and as his eyes met hers, he felt a strange swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach, and involuntarily took a gasp of breath. Unfortunately for him, this did not go unnoticed by Lily. Her expression hardened immediately and she placed her hands on her hips.  
"Whoever's out there I know you're there. So either show yourself or go back to your dormitories straight away. No one should be out in the corridors at this time of night. You have til the count of three and then I'm going to get Filch" she said sternly, although it was an empty threat. James thought quickly. Either get discovered under the cloak by Lily - losing his prise possession and her trust, or make a run for it and hope she'd mistake his footfalls for another unruly student. "One… two". He chose option b. Nudging Sirius sharply in the ribs, James led the way (making sure to thump his feet) back down the corridor and out of sight.

"Damn!" Sirius puffed, "I really wanted to see your private palace"

"Oh ha ha" James replied sarcastically, "You know what this means, right?"

"Nope, enlighten me"

"I'm gonna have to sleep in our dormitory tonight" he sighed, disappointed that he would not be sleeping across a living room from Evans.

"YEAH" Sirius whooped loudly, "Just like the old days. Let's have a party! I think I have some butterbeer in my trunk somewhere.."

"Padfoot, shut up! What if Filch hears you? And besides, I don't know if a party's such a good idea. You know, Head Boy and all that?" he gestured at his badge.

"Come on Prongs-y, you know you want to" Sirius persisted.

"Oh, all right. But not an all nighter" James grinned, happy that his friend was happy.

"Hoorah! You kn-, hold on, did you hear that?" Sirius whispered.

"Yup. Run!"

And once more, James and Sirius sprinted off down the hallway, not stopping til they were back in their dormitories drinking butterbeer with Remus and Peter, happily planning their next grand prank. Oh yes, it was going to be an interesting year.

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REVIEW! please!! 19 of you on story alert and i only get two reviews for the last chapter and one was from my sister:( this makes me sad, so if you have time to go back and rev chapter 6 i would appreciate it. if not, dont worry, i dont want to become one of those whiny authors who only posts new chapters if they get a certain number of reviews... altho, that does give me an idea... lol, jk :P

on the other hand, thank you to those who did review - i muchly appreciate it! happy fanficcing!


	9. Not A Morning Person

Disclaimer: I still do not own Harry Potter, but give it time folks, you never know what could happen!

AN - sorry about the wait. please read and review! and there may be slight out of characterness here coz i am feeling a little loopy atm. enjoy:)

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Chapter 8 - Not a Morning Person:

The next morning, Lily awoke with an extremely sore neck. The reason being that she had fallen asleep in the little window seat in her bedroom. When she realised where she was, she stirred and decided to get up soon, but found that it was entirely too painful to move. As soon as this moment of realisation had passed, she realised something else. This something else happened to be calling her name softly.

"Lily? Lily, wake up. We have to go to breakfast," the voice called from somewhere over her shoulder. She managed to lift her head again, groaning softly in pain and turned around to find James Potter standing behind her, rather close, and gently touching her shoulder. At this point her eyes snapped wide open and she got up swiftly from her seat, before wincing in pain and hunching over again.

"Are you okay?" James asked, eyes wide with concern; he was trying not to show too much worry lest he reveal his true feelings, but at the same time he wanted her to know that as a friend he still cared for her well-being.

"Ouch" Lily said weakly, straightening up again, but slower this time.

"You look like you've been there all night" James said, and Lily raised her eyes to meet his. She felt that annoying swooping sensation in her stomach again, and willed herself not to fall over again.

"That's because I have been there all night. I think I fell asleep. I was waiting for.." she frowned, looking out the window, trying to remember what was important about last night. "I was waiting for you" she said, her eyes narrowing, "We had to monitor the corridors but you never came back!"

"Shit! Sorry Lily, I completely forgot" he said sincerely, remembering for the first time himself.  
"That's no excuse. You're head boy Potter, you have responsibilities n-now" she yawned, fatigue getting in the way of her anger.

"I know, I know, I let you down. It won't happen again, I promise" he implored, begging forgiveness - this was not the way he had wanted to start off the school year.

"Yeah, okay. Forgiven" she stopped to yawn again, "Besides, I suppose I forgot as well" she smiled apologetically, and James was momentarily taken aback by the sudden change in attitude. _Girls_ he thought to himself.

"Now, on to more important things," she said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BEDROOM?" she yelled. "Get out, get out, get out" she shrieked, shooing him out the door. Now extremely confused, and a little frightened, James stood on the other side of the thick oak door that had been slammed in his face. He thought he would chalk it up to lack of sleep combined with first-day jitters. He didn't blame Lily. After all, when he had woken up in his old dormitory, still in school robes from the day before, he had panicked a little - he wanted his first day to be a good one too.

When Lily came out, clean uniform on and hair brushed back into an elegant ponytail, James couldn't help but stare. And Lily, who hadn't realised James' proximity to her bedroom door, walked straight into him. This sent them both tumbling down the stairs, landing in a bruised heap on their common room floor. For the second time in two days, Lily found herself lying on top of James Potter, wrapped in his protective arms. A few strands of her hair had come loose from her ponytail and dangled in his face. James could smell the apricot and honey shampoo that Lily used, and he was close enough to count the fine sprinkling of freckles on her face. But it was her eyes that caught his attention, it had always been her eyes. Green and almond shaped, they constantly sparkled with life - James could get lost in those eyes. And he nearly did. Until Lily, eventually, rolled off of him and onto the plush crimson rug next to him.

"Sorry" she said simply, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, horrified that she had let herself enjoy James' touch again.

"S'ok" he replied. There was a pause. "You know we really should stop doing that" he said, and they laughed. It was a good way to break the tension - Lily felt so bad that she had caused another accident, but James was good save a couple of bruises, so it really wasn't a big deal. They both lay there for a minute, assessing their own individual pain, before gingerly getting up and going to the portrait hole.

"Hold on a minute, aren't you going to get changed?" Lily asked James. James was particularly dishevelled and not just because of the tumble down the stairs. His hair was messier than usual and the uniform he was wearing was crumpled and looked as though it had been slept in (in fact, he hadn't had time to go back to the Head's Common room to change up til now, so it actually had been slept in. Lily was doing her best not to notice just how the messiness of James' hair made it look all the more attractive.

"Nope. Besides, I don't look that bad" he said, trying to sound insulted. Lily raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Anyway, we don't have time. We have to get breakfast and get our timetables. If we have a spare 'study period' I'll get changed, if not you'll just have to put up with me looking like an urchin" he grinned.

"You know what?" Lily said.

"What?" James asked, letting Lily out before him.

"You're not as bad as I thought you were" she said quietly. James was far from offended at this comment, and instead took it as a positive sign that Lily was warming to him.

"Well, you're not as highly strung as I thought you were" he joked, "Although, those mood swings Evans..."

"Hey! It's partly your fault that I was up late last night so you're just going to have to deal with them." she pointed a finger at him, "but sorry about that. I just hate Mondays". James stopped walking, and it took Lily a good three or four steps to notice this before she turned around and fixed James with a quizzical stare.

"What?"

"You hate Mondays?"

"Yeah…?"

"You, Lily Evans, Head Girl extraordinaire, hates Mondays?"

"Yes"

"No!"

"What?"

"I don't believe it"  
"Shut up" she said, rolling her eyes.

"But it can't be true. This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real" James said, his face completely serious.

"Why? Just coz I don't moan about Mondays all the time, doesn't mean I don't suffer Mondayitis" she said, as they resumed walking.

"Okay, okay, I'll pretend I believe you, for the sake of our friendship" James grinned as Lily laughed.

"Hold on, how do you know about Santa Claus? I thought that it was only a muggle tradition" Lily asked.

"Ah, Lily my dear, you forget I take Muggle Studies. Besides, my Dad is really into all that kind of stuff. We used to celebrate Christmas every year as a family…" he trailed off, looking sad.

"Used to?" Lily asked softly, caught between curiosity and not wanting to pry.

"Before... Doesn't matter, but we don't anymore. I stay at Hogwarts for most holidays now. What about you, are you staying for Christmas?" he asked, eager to turn the conversation away from himself.

"I don't know. I guess if they need us for Heads duties or something, I'll stay" she replied, lost in thought over what it was that James didn't want to talk about. They suddenly found themselves outside the Gryffindor common room.

"After you, Miss Evans" James said, bowing low in a mock show of gallantry.

"Err, thanks?" she said, before going off to find Anna and Catherine. James stood for a moment, watching her go, before shaking himself out of it, and bounding up the stairs to his old dormitory, where he would no doubt find Sirius, Peter and possibly even Remus still in bed.

Lily bounded up the stairs to her old dormitory, eager to see Catherine and Anna and tell them all about her new bedroom. She had to see them urgently, because she really couldn't be trusted to be left alone with her thoughts at this point in time. Part of the reason that Lily had been in such a rollercoaster mood so far that morning, was because when she had finally gotten to sleep she had had a very troubling dream. No, it wasn't the sort of dream about homework or transfiguration essays, or defence against the dark arts examinations. Nor was it about being Head Girl or about Petunia's increasingly distant behaviour. It was a dream about Potter. And while Lily had trouble admitting it to herself, it had been far from a nightmarish experience. She and James had been taking a stroll around the Black Lake, hand in hand, just talking and laughing, when he had stopped and turned to face her. "I think it's time I told you the truth, Lily Evans" dream-James had said, "I love being your friend, but I love you more than that. I don't know how to put it into words, so I'll summarise" and then he had leant down and kissed her on the lips. Lily was alarmed that James had been such a good kisser, but had reminded herself that it was really just a dream and, of course, in dreams people should be good at kissing. These thoughts were all floating around in Lily's head, but Lily being Lily just wanted them all to go away. She wanted to stop thinking about Potter - particularly in that way - and just get on with her day. Or so her denial instructed her to think.

So she was determined to ignore these thoughts and distract herself with mindless gossip and girl talk.

"Hey guys, rise and shine" Lily said brightly, walking over to Catherine's bed and giving her a sharp poke in the shoulder.

"Oi! What'ch doin tha fer.. Stoo earl, gonna sleep moreff" mumbled Cat, rolling to face away from Lily, at which point Lily magicked the covers off of Cat's bed.

"Alright, alright, I'm up already" she grumbled, "And what if I had been naked? Hmm? You perv"

"Somebody's not a morning person" Lily remarked dryly.

"Damn right I'm not a morning person. There are only two things that can get me out of bed early" Cat mumbled, as she started to change, "Quidditch and hot guys. As you are neither of the two, Lils, I suggest you vamoose before I hex you into next week".

"Yeah, sure" was all the reply she got.

"Why don't you go annoy Anna?" Cat grumbled.

"Because, Anna's already up and, I gather, in the shower coz her bed's empty" she pointed at the messy sheets.

"Oh no" sighed Cat, "I told her not to go, didn't I?"

"Not to go where?" Lily asked, bracing herself for the worst, "There's nothing wrong with the Gryffindor bathroom, is there?"

"No. Last night we were in the common room, just the two of us talking and reading my quidditch magazine and whatnot-"

"Anna doesn't like quidditch" Lilly interrupted.

"She likes the hot Irish team, though"

"Oh, duh. Anyway, continue"

"Yeah, so we were there, and then the portrait hole opened but we didn't see anyone come in, which we both thought was a bit strange. So we were going to go outside and investigate, but then we hear these really loud noises coming from the boy's dormitories."

"Let me guess whose" Lily said sarcastically, all nice thoughts of James evaporating at once.

"Yeah, it was the marauders. They were making quite a racket, but I think they must have cast _muffliato _over the other dormitories, coz no one else seemed to hear it or come out to see what was going on. They must have forgotten the common room, coz we could hear everything really loudly."

"What were they doing?"

"I don't know exactly. I reckon they were having a bit of a party, coz they were singing at one point. Odo the Hero, I think it was" Cat said, thoughtfully.

"Okay, so the marauders are loud and disruptive, nothing unusual. What has this got to do with Anna?"

"Well, she decided that she wanted to party a bit with the marauders"

"Wha- why!" Lily squawked.

"Well, it sounded like a good idea at the time" Cat said sheepishly.

"Hold on, you went too?" asked Lily incredulously.

"Well, yeah. I couldn't let Anna go into a room full of hormonal teenagers all by herself. And besides, we have a whole year of hard work ahead of us, why not let our hair down a little" Cat defended, feeling a bit annoyed now. Why couldn't Lily relax a little?

"Cat!"

"What?"  
"What happened? What were they doing?" Lily demanded, hands on hips, all cheeriness completely gone now.

"Well, they had some… butterbeer and we were playing truth or dare" Cat said, frowning as though she was having difficulty remembering.

"They had fire whiskey didn't they?" Lily asked, her voice soft with anger.

"No, not exactly. It was only Sirius really. I had a little and so did Anna, but it was only us three. And honest, Lils, we hardly had any. I swear!" she said, her voice getting progressively higher under Lily's angry glare.

"And then?" she asked dangerously.

"Well, we were playing truth or dare, and Peter dared Anna to sleep in the boys dormitory for the night… in Sirius' bed."

"She didn't?"

"She did. I told her not to, but she didn't seem to mind. I mean, you know Anna, she thinks Black's cute, but she doesn't like him that way so it wasn't a big deal" though, to Cat, it was a big deal. Although she would never admit it to anyone, not even to herself, she was slightly jealous of Anna's dare, and had wished that it had been assigned to her. But she was in denial, so she didn't think about it any further.

"But Cat, that's breaking a tonne of school rules. And it's completely irresponsible! And… I can't believe him" she said getting off Cat's bed and stomping over to the window, staring out of it moodily. These mood swings were really getting ridiculous - stupid Mondayitis.

"What, Black didn't do anything inappropriate… more inappropriate than usual…as far as I know"

"No, not him. Potter"

"Oh, of course, coz it's always his fault"

"Stop defending him"

"No, you stop attacking him. It wasn't anything to do with him. He didn't even have anything to drink."

"But he came and woke me up this morning and didn't tell me about any of this stuff, so he lied"

"He didn't lie, he just didn't tell you every single detail of his night. Is that a crime?"

"Why do you keep defending him - I thought you were my friend?"

"Lils, I am your friend, and as your friend it is my duty to point out to you when you are being unfair and overly-judgemental when it comes to a certain James Potter. Now is such a case. Let me explain. Sirius dragged James back to Gryffindor tower, apparently coz he didn't want to wake you up or something. James was feeling guilty about leaving his mates behind to go and sleep with - well, not with you with you, but you know...

"Anyway, he was feeling guilty so he let Sirius have his little party. But he knew that it was essentially against the rules and so abstained from drinking and instead told the rest of us to stop when we'd had enough. He was just trying to do the right thing by his friends, Lily, so get off his back already"

Lily just stared at her friend, mouth a little agape, feeling as though she'd been slapped across the face. James Potter was being defended by her best friend, while she was being accused of being a judgemental witch. Of course, it was because Lily knew it was the truth that it hurt so much to hear.

"Am I really that awful that he wouldn't tell me" she asked softly.

"Of course - sorry, what?" Cat asked, not expecting this sort of response.

"James, I mean, Potter didn't tell me any of this stuff. Do you think it's because he thought I'd yell at him?" she asked, concern clouding her eyes, which now turned to face Cat with a certain amount of desperation.

"Lily, are you okay? You're acting kinda strange today"

"I'm fine, I just didn't sleep very well last night, so I feel a bit all over the shop today. But do you think that's why he didn't tell me?" she asked pleadingly. Cat considered telling her the truth which was a 'yes, of course, who would volunteer themselves to the wrath of Lily Evans?' but, judging by the fragile state of Lily's nerves decided to sugar coat things a little.

"Nah, Lils, it's probably he just didn't want you to worry about Anna that early in the morning" she lied, trying to sound confident. Apparently it worked.

"Okay" Lily sighed, "So shall we go get breakfast?"

"Sure, sure, I'll just get my shoes" Cat mumbled, as Lily went to stand by the door. Together the girls made their way down the staircase, now chatting easily about what the day ahead of them could possibly have in store. Although the 'gossip' had really done nothing to distract herself from James, Lily felt better now that they were stressing out about school together.

"Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, get up you lumps, it's time for breakfast" James announced, strolling into his old dormitory.

"No need to yell, James, some of us were trying to sleep" piped up a female voice from Sirius' bed. James looked over to see the lump that he presumed was Sirius huddled under some sheets, while Anna Brown sat up in bed looking pleasantly irritated in her morning state.

"Sorry Anna" James apologised, inclining his head towards her slightly, "but I reckon you should go soon anyway, before any other guys - or girls for that matter - work out you were in here overnight". He winced at the thought of Lily finding out. She would actually decapitate him for allowing a girl - let alone one of her best friends - to sleep in a room full of boys.

"Don't have to tell me twice - it's kinda smelly in here anyway" she said wrinkling her nose, as she padded across the floor to the door.

"It's not that bad" came a muffled voice from under Sirius' sheets.

"Yes it is, it kinda reeks. But who am I to judge" she said loftily, before floating out of the room.

"Glad she's gone" said Remus, from the next bed over, "I felt kinda awkward with her here. I mean, she's lovely and all, but she's a girl".

"Well spotted Moony, but she doesn't bite" said Sirius, throwing off his sheets with unbelievable energy for a non-morning person.

"Padfoot, why are you getting up?" Peter asked thickly.

"Duh, Wormtail. Breakfast! Most important meal of the day." And with that declaration, the marauders all got their acts into gear, getting dressed etc (except for James, whose clean clothes were all in his bedroom) before traipsing down the common room stairs and out the portrait hole, towards breakfast.

In Great Hall, Professor McGonagall was handing out the seventh year timetables, while the students gossiped and groaned to one another - none exactly wanting to go to class. The four house tables were abuzz with chatter and nervous excitement. Lily and her friends had arrived there about five minutes before the marauders and were all tucking in - extremely half-heartedly - to their various meals. Lily poked at her cereal unenthusiastically.

"You know what, breakfast really is the dullest meal of the day" she said to no one in particular. Unfortunately for her, it was at this exact moment that Sirius Black decided to plonk down next to her, over hearing what she had said.

"Blasphemy!" he shrieked, pointing a finger at her, other hand clutching dramatically at his chest, "How could you say such a thing about breakfast? Don't you know it's the most important meal of the day? What is wrong with you!" he exclaimed. You had to hand it to Sirius, he had a flair for the dramatics but when it came to meals he was deadly serious… ish.

"Give it a rest Padfoot, no one cares about your breakfast-is-number-one-in-my-heart speech" said Remus, flicking a bran flake at him, before sitting on the other side of Lily. James, she noticed, sat on the right of Cat and Anna who were across the table from her. He, of course, did this so that he could look at her surreptitiously over the top of the Daily Prophet at her. There would be no more public ogling if James was to keep up the façade that he only liked Lily as a friend.

"So, how do you two feel after last night?" Peter (who was sat on the other said of Remus) asked Cat and Anna. Remus and Sirius rolled their eyes simultaneously. It was so like Peter to put his foot in it, right in front of the Head Girl no less. But when Lily didn't react, James caught her eye and looked apologetically at her, assuming that she knew about the party. Of course he had assumed correctly, and so Lily returned his look with a small smile of understanding. So now they could all continue their breakfasts fairly normally, with the boys breaking into loud conversation about quidditch, and the girls rolling their eyes occasionally and chipping in when necessary. By this stage, McGonagall had reached the Gryffindor seventh years, and was handing out their timetables.

"Oh shit!" exclaimed Sirius, when he received his, "Double potions to start the day. As if!" A look of distaste crept across his handsome features as he read on "With Slytherin".

"Don't worry mate, I'm in that class too" James said, consulting his own brightly coloured schedule.

"And me" Lily chipped in, "Followed by arithmancy, lunch, transfiguration and charms. That's not too bad"

"Yeah, at least we've got transfiguration" James noted.

"We?" Lily looked up from her timetable.

"Yeah, I think we're doing pretty much the same classes" James said sheepishly, avoiding her gaze.

"So you're doing Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Arithmancy, Runes and Defence?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, except I'm taking muggle studies instead of Runes" he replied. Their friends noted this friendly exchange with mild confusion. It was Sirius who brought them all back to Earth by pointing out that he and James had only Defence, Charms, Potions and Transfiguration together - a fact which depressed he and James so thoroughly that neither of them were particularly looking forward to the end of breakfast.

"Spose it's time to go to class" Anna sighed softly, "I'll see you at lunch guys"

"And I'll see you in arithmancy, Lils" Cat said, before following Anna out of the Hall.

"We should probably go and get our stuff" James suggested to Lily.

"Yeah, and we probably should have left five minutes ago. Our rooms are further away than Gryffindor Tower" Lily replied, looking concerned for a nano-second. "Ah, spose it doesn't really matter. We have potions first up, and Professor Slughorn is very understanding" she smiled.

"Captain subtext says: you're a favourite and can get away with murder, ergo there's no hurry" James suggested.

"Something like that" Lily laughed, surprised that they were getting on so well together. James was also secretly ecstatic that Lily had made such a dramatic u-turn in her attitude towards him over the past twenty-four hours. He was literally glowing on the inside.

"Lily?" he asked gently, as the made their way towards the dungeons, already ten minutes late.

"Yeah?"

"How come you don't hate me anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like that you don't seem to hate me anymore. But you just seemed to hate me for so long I was wondering why you've suddenly changed your mind. I mean, if you don't mind me asking, that is" he managed to say, stumbling over his words.

"Who says I don't still hate you?"

James' heart sank.

"I'm kidding, Potter" Lily said, laughing, "No, it's just something someone said to me once. Everyone deserves a second, or third, or fourth chance."

He smiled. She remembered his words!

"Okay, so you don't just like me coz you're having some sort of crazy attack of Mondayitis?" he asked.

"Pretty sure, but don't push it. I'm a girl on the edge" she grinned.

"Lily Evans, you are full of surprises" James replied, as they walking into the potions room side by side.

* * *

AN - sorry for the long wait! i just had my first week back at school as a year 12 (runs screaming from room) and its been full on. but this is the longest chappie ive ever written, coz i wanted to make up for the wait. its over 4thousand words - go me! consequently, its a bit all over the place, but that doesn't matter, does it?

anyway, i should go to bed now coz i have to get up in like 5 hours for work (dont ever work in a bakery - its not worth it!) so yes

please please please review - i need reviews to live (which sounds pathetic but its true) so pleeeeeease review.


	10. And Everything Was Going So Well

**Disclaimer:**** I still do not own Harry Potter or anything remotely creative - unless u count Catherine and Anna. Although, they don't really count coz they're two of my besties so technically, they already exist. But ok.**

**AN - This chapter is my second longest in fanfic history so i hope it doesnt ramble too much. if it does - i apologise! Also, I dedicate this chapter to ShetlandLace who has reveiwed all of the chapters in this story, which makes me very very happy - muchly appreciated!**

**Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 9 - And Everything Was Going So Well:**

It was on the Friday night of their second week back at school that Lily and James' newfound 'friendship' faced its first challenge. It just so happened that this challenge came in the shape of Sirius Black.

Lily and James had maintained a civil dignity around one another all week. They, (Lily in particular), tried not to become too friendly with one another - a difficult feat seeing as they shared a living space, Head's duties and were taking six out of seven subjects together.

Lily had discovered that it was dangerous for her to look into James' eyes too often, because this usually made her feel slightly light headed. She put this down to the strange alleviation to six solid years of hatred towards him that she no longer felt - it was the absence of this emotion that was caused her body to react the way it did around him. If Lily had been thinking logically, she would've realised that this made absolutely no sense whatsoever. But she wasn't thinking logically, so it wasn't really an issue. She was in denial, but there was absolutely nothing anyone could say to her that could make her see it. So in the end Cat and Anna gave up trying.

James had likewise made an effort to be friendly to Lily, but without going overboard. He had come to believe that Lily really would never go out with him. The more time he spent with her, the more convinced he was that there was probably someone perfect for her out there that wasn't him. This feeling of inadequacy had come on quite suddenly, and took James by surprise. He managed to maintain his boisterous over-confidence around his friends and fellow Gryffindors, but around Lily he acted like a completely different person. In any case, James had almost given up on ever getting it together with Lily Evans. There was a tiny glimmer of hope lurking somewhere deep in his subconscious, but he remained oblivious to it and decided to settle for Lily's friendship. Something he didn't want to threaten by being over-nice.

So really, Lily was in denial - although she didn't know it, and James was still head over heels for Lily, although he tried to ignore it. They seemed to be back at square one. However, James was becoming less arrogant and more responsible while Lily was becoming less focused on her work and more… distracted by other thoughts.

The changes to each individual had left them quite drained - although this could easily be blamed of seventh year - and so they sat by the fire on separate couches. They weren't talking to one another as they had at least become comfortable enough around one another not to feel the need to break the silence. Lily was re-reading Pride and Prejudice for the umpteenth time, while James was doing a quiz in _Quidditch Monthly_.

"Oh no!" he suddenly exclaimed, a look of concern across his handsome features.

"What is it this time?" Lily sighed, laughing inwardly at what she guessed would be some irrelevant quidditch fact.

"This stupid magazine think that I would play for the Falmouth Falcons!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Are you really going to get upset over what a stupid magazine tells you, James?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction.

"But it's the Falmouth Falcons" he exaggerated, "They're second bottom from the ladder". Lily just rolled her eyes and returned to her book. She was up to the part where Mr Darcy told her he loved her, and Elizabeth rejects him. _Well, she certainly had a strong resolve, _thought Lily, _it's too bad she's making a big mistake in letting him go._ Her thoughts were interrupted by more of James' moaning.

"Falmouth Falcons" he groaned, before ripping out the offending page of the magazine and chucking in the fire.

"Could be worse. It could've said the Pride of Portree and then you would've been in trouble" Lily mumbled, unable to stop herself.

"Hang on, since when did you know anything about quidditch?" James asked.

"Just coz I don't talk about it every five seconds of the day, doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good game. Besides, I've been reading those stupid mags you leave lying around everywhere… Sorry" she added sheepishly. James just stared at her, a curious expression on his face that Lily was unable to read. It was something between shock and admiration.

"Stop looking at me like that, idiot" Lily said, chucking a pillow at him.

"Sorry, couldn't help it" James said softly, before he could help himself. There was a slightly awkward pause.

"So, you don't actually play the beautiful game, do you?" James asked to break the tension.

"Are you joking? Couldn't get me on a broom in a million years" Lily exclaimed, repositioning herself so that she was facing him properly, and not twisting around.

"You've never been on a broom?" James exclaimed.

"Except for that one time in first year when we all had to do it" Lily replied.

"Yeah, I remember that day. Sirius was whizzing around like a maniac and I went to go get him, but we got caught and both got detention" he smiled at the memory. "In fact, I think that was our first detention at Hogwarts".

"It's good to see you remember it so fondly" Lily smiled wryly, knowing that James' rule breaking ways made him part of the character he was.

"Yeah, well, important milestone I spose" he grinned.

"Yes, the first of many countless detentions, I can see how you would never want to forget" Lily replied, as her pillow was chucked back at her. It was at this point, when she was laughing out loud, and James was admiring her through his own little chuckle, that Sirius burst into the room, his face murderous.

"I can't believe that evil, old, ugly, stupid hag of a witch would do this to me!" he bellowed, quite unaware that he had just interrupted Lily and James' first pillow fight.

"Whoa, Padfoot mate, slow down" James said springing up off the couch to meet his friend, "What happened?"  
"You know I think I might just…" Lily trailed off, looking as though she wanted to leave but was afraid to make any sudden movements around the on-edge Gryffindor. James had no time to tell her that it was probably a good time for her to make an exist, before Sirius walked over to the fireplace and punched the mantle with his bare fist.

"Ouch!" he howled in pain. _Boys_ thought Lily, although she decided to remain where she was lest Sirius temper tantrum extend itself to any unsuspecting piece of furniture.

"What's wrong?" James cried out, snapping Sirius out of his fist-cradling reverie.

"One of those stupid first year professors just gave me bloody detention, that's what!" he yelled.

"Is that all - for a minute I was worried it was something serious. Oh wait, no I wasn't" Lily muttered, more for her own amusement than anyone else. Unfortunately for her, Sirius heard it, and didn't let it go by unnoticed.

"Who asked you, saint-Evans? You've never even been a detention! And, as far as-" he began.

"Don't speak to her like that" James said to his friend, without hesitation. He wasn't using a dangerously low or threatening tone, it was more a cross between stating a fact and indignation.

"Don't worry about me, Potter" Lily said, a little offended, "I think I can handle a temperamental boy by myself"

"Temperamental? What the! Who do you think you-" Sirius exclaimed, incredulity across his face. James tried to hide the sting of her referring to him by his last name by assuming a nonchalant expression.

"Why did this professor give you a detention anyway?" Lily interrupted, looking bored. Really, she had quite enjoyed just talking to James, and here Black was just being a pain.

_Hold on, _Lily thought frantically, _is that the reason I'm being so harsh on Black? Because he's interrupting my special time with Potter? That can't be right. That would mean that I enjoy spending time with James, and that is simply against everything I stand for. _

Is it? Asked another voice in her head.

_Of course it is. He had been the bane of my existence since day one. Just because I talk to him, doesn't mean I like him._

But he's been different this year - you've noticed it too. I should know, I'm inside your head after all.

_Sure, he's been different this year. A bit less arrogant, a bit more compassionate. So?_

So! That's all that really ever kept you two apart. His 'bad attitude' and your pride.

_I'm not proud!  
_Sure you are. You won't even consider Potter as a friend because he's 'beneath you'

_Don't say that. I don't think James is beneath me. He's a truly genuine person._

And yet you don't want to befriend him?

_Of course I want to be his friend. We are friends. I just refuse to acknowledge this._

At least you're admitting that you have a problem - that is the first step on the road to recovery. And besides-

_I'm just worried if I get too friendly, he will think I want to be more than friends._

You cut me off!

_Yes well, you're only a voice in my head. I win._

But now that we're on the topic - why wouldn't you want to be more than friends with him?

_Okay, end of discussion. I'm sitting here with a strange glazed look on my face. People will get suspicious. _

And with that, Lily ended the stupid (and seemingly repetitive) argument with herself inside her own head, and refocused on the confrontation that was taking place in front of her. Apparently she had only been out of it for a few seconds, because she heard Sirius vehemently say "But Prongs, she's a bloody substitute. And she only teaches first and second years. What makes her think she can pull something like that on me? A seventh year? A hot, quidditch-playing seventh year? A hot, quidditch-playing, king-of-the-school named Sirius Black! People respect me and what I stand for, and here she is defending him" he spat.

"Firstly, people don't respect you, they - and I don't mean to generalise here, but girls - only want to get into your pants. This is not what we call respect. Secondly, who is this 'him' that 'she' is defending?" Lily asked, before James could get a word in.

"He happens to be Snivellus I'm-a-mud blood-hater Snape, and she"

"Professor Blackbyrne" James added wearily.

"Yes, she saw fit to give me a weeks worth of detentions just for hexing the slimy git!"  
"But you've been in plenty of detentions before - it's not like this will blemish your record or anything" Lily said slowly and wide-eyed, as Sirius just didn't seem to understand the frivolity of the case he was trying to build for himself.

"But it's the bloody principle of the thing, Evans. New teachers can't give seventh years detentions just like that"

"Clearly they can" Lily said, before picking up discarded copy of Pride and Prejudice as though the discussion was over.

"What is your problem, Evans? Wait, I know what it is. You're such a fricken goody two shoes - you love the rules so much that you can't understand the plight this poor innocent defender of people such as yourself. You need to just pull that bloody stick out of your arse" he added, venomously.

"That's enough" James said loudly, as Lily paled at Sirius' statement.

"I'm going to go to bed now" she said quietly, before hurrying away up her staircase and slamming her door.

"What the bloody hell did you do that for?" James yelled at Sirius, who had visibly calmed down now that Lily had left. "What do you mean 'people such as yourself' - how do you think that would make her feel, huh?" he continued angrily.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I was just telling the truth. She needs to just relax a bit and-"

"Yes, but she doesn't need you to tell her that. And in such a harsh way. Padfoot, I'm seriously disappointed in you right now"

"Oh, don't give me the disappointed speech, I can see right through you. You wouldn't be half as upset if you didn't still fancy her". James was silent, as he stared into the fire, conscientiously avoiding Sirius' accusation.

"In fact, James, I'm the one that should be disappointed" Sirius continued, knowing that he was right, "You are effectively choosing a girl over your best friend. That hurts, mate". He wasn't being completely serious, this much was obvious to James, but he was making a good argument. James was rather annoyed at this realisation that he had, indeed, been taking Lily's side in not defending Sirius. And for that he felt a little ashamed.

"Look, I'm sorry mate. Blackbyrne was bang out of order. But I couldn't say so in front of Lily. I'm Head Boy, she's Head Girl. And it's not like I backed her up. Although she's right. You have had more detentions that I've had hot dinners" he looked up at Sirius.

"But I know that's not the point. It sucks that you have detention - and for something as small as getting Snivelly - but what do you want me to do about it?" James asked.

"Der Prongs, you're Head Boy, just make up some crap and get me out of it" Sirius suggested, as though it was the most obvious solution in the whole world.

"Can't. Lily's Head Girl remember? It wouldn't look right"

"Well, just come and sneak me out of it somehow" Sirius looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes, "You know I'd do the same for you". And that was it. Emotional manipulation coupled with the big eyes and the drawing out of the best-friend get-out-of-jail-free card got to James.

"Of course I'll help you out, you idiot. And next time you decide to hex Snivelly, promise me this. You check for stupid first year professors first and you let me help - got it?" he grinned.

"Deal" they shook hands, laughing at their stupid tiff. Really, being best friends, it was too much trouble for them to stay mad at each other for too long.

It wasn't til later that night, when James was lying in bed staring at the ceiling, that he remembered what Sirius had walked in on and then spoiled. He and Lily had been having a conversation. And not just that, but a good one, with jokes and laughter and, well, a certain lack of animosity that usually ruined the atmosphere. So James, as he drifted off to sleep thinking of beautiful redheads, was quite content knowing that he and Lily were on good terms for the time being. Little did he know that things were about to go very wrong.

**Occlumency Diary,**

Second Friday of term.

James Potter.

Yes, I'm mentioning him again. I suppose I have well and truly broken my new-term resolution not to talk about Potter in my diary, because when I go back later in life and read it, I will be filled with unaccountable anger and resentment. But I decided that this was a stupid reason not to write about him. Besides, if later in life he continually badgers me about going out with him, I can use this in court as proof of his harassment and/or stalking.

But this brings me to my first topic for discussion: he hasn't asked me out yet.

Yes, you heard it here first folks, James Potter hasn't asked me on a date all term. It's as much of a shock to me as it is to you, believe me. I would've thought that this, being our last year, would've made him try all the harder to 'get' me before it's too late. But it seems to have had the reverse effect. In fact, James has actually tried to be a friend.

And I like it - hence the use of his first name in the last sentence. I don't want to be the one to admit it. I really don't. But I actually enjoy his company, most of the time. This year he seems a little bit less of an arrogant, conceited arse so I suppose that helps. And he's the most fun when he's away from his juvenile friends - like when we're in our common room or on patrols.

Can you believe he was shocked to discover that I enjoy quidditch. Probably coz I told him I never go to see him play, but that was a blatant lie, which I think he's probably caught on to.

Ahh!

My thoughts are all jumbled and it's all his fault!

I don't like him like that, diary, so don't get the wrong idea. It's just that we spend more time together than I would've ever thought possible (or tolerable) and so I just have more to say about him that usual.

Anyway, this evening we were having a perfectly lovely conversation about stupid quidditch stuff and our first flying lessons at Hogwarts, when Black comes storming into our room (why James gave him the password, I have no idea) and starts ranting about some stupid detention he's got. He got it for hexing Snape - which I don't support, but that's not to say I don't appreciate the gesture on behalf of all muggle-borns out there. I digress. He was really upset about this weeks worth of detentions, because of the 'principle' of the matter. But I just asked him why it mattered so much seeing as how he spends more time in detention than he does out, anyway. He went off at me, called me a kiss-arse to the teachers (or words to that effect) and then told me that he was hexing Snape on behalf of people like me (which, while I appreciate, I cannot openly condone). So I came up here.

I wasn't particularly upset by anything he said, but I didn't want to lose my cool with him and do or say something I'll regret later. Especially in front of James, and especially coz our two friendship groups are kinda close now and I don't want to upset the balance.

So yeah.

I'm up here now, writing down all this pointless trivia so as to strengthen my mind against the forces of evil. But I'm getting bored now, so maybe I'll eavesdrop.

I can't BELIEVE HIM! He really had me fooled, he very nearly did!  
I thought Potter had changed for the better. I seriously believed that he was more responsible now than he was before. But I was wrong.

Okay, so I went to eavesdrop (Not something I'm proud of, exactly, but I was bored!) and I heard Black begging Potter to get him out of detention. Potter refused initially - which I was very pleased to hear - but then he agreed to help sneak him out during the bloody thing. I mean - how thick can he get! Sirius is obviously being punished for a reason. I mean, you seriously cannot just go around hexing people coz their set of values don't match up to your own. People have conflicting views, it's part of life. If the rest of us can deal with it, then Black should have to as well.  
Of course, this doesn't apply to the war. We should pick sides and stick to them, as long as we choose the right side. As in, not the dark muggle-hating, 'purist side'. As in, join the Order of the Phoenix and not the Death Eaters. But I shouldn't have written that. If someone finds this diary, I'm going to be in big trouble. Then again, who's going to look in my occlumency diary for details about the opposition to the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Where was I?

Ah yes. Potter and his stupid agreement to help out Black.

Okay, I recognise that Black is Potter's best friend in the whole wide world. Merlin, they're closer than brothers, if you ask me. But that's not the point. The point is Potter should know better, and now I have the right to be unreservedly mad at him for plotting to break school rules.

_Is it possible that you are just looking for an excuse to hate James again?_

I really shouldn't write down the conversations in my head, should I?

_No, it just proves your clinical insanity. But while I'm here, don't you think I have a point?_

A point about what?

_Don't play dumb with me - you know what._

Oh. You mean him.

_Of course I mean him. Do you ever hear this little voice in your head when you're struggling with Charms homework? No. Only when it's about James._

Stop calling him that. His name is Potter!

_Uh-huh. Anyway, I think that you are just looking for a reason to be mean to him._

And why would I do that?

_Because you find yourself liking him as a person more and more, and after six or so years of solid hatred, actually liking the guy is hard to get your head around._

No comment

_So what are you going to do tomorrow when you see him at breakfast?_

Tell him I know about what he's planning to do with Sirius and getting him out of detention.

_And then..?_

And then tell him that I'm disappointed and act all annoyed - coz that's how I feel.

_Yeah, okay. Do you really think that there's any point in being mad at him?_

Yes.

…

Well, no, but I have to do the right thing - as Head Girl - and that is to be disapproving of rule breaking!  
_What about doing the right thing as a friend and trying to understand another friend's desire to help out a mate?_

You know what, I'm really getting sick of you now, so I'm going to bed.

Later,

Lily xo

Clearly his mum was in denial. Harry smiled to himself. It was pretty funny, actually, how his parents had been such polar opposites, and had still managed to get it together. At least now he knew which parent gave him the talking-to-the-voices-in-your-head gene. He recalled arguing with himself when he liked Ginny, in a manner very similar to his mother's late night rants in her occlumency journals.

At this point Harry stopped to think about Severus Snape. He had been mentioned a few times in the notes of Lily and James, but had yet to affect their relationship directly - up til now, that is. Harry could see that Sirius' detention was going to drive a wedge between his already unstable parents. He wondered how on earth such petty disagreements (such as sneaking best friends out of detention) seemed to keep driving them apart only to bring them back closer than before. No doubt he would find out soon enough.

**Review and I will love you forever :)**


	11. More Notes and an Angry Lily

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Harry Potter - but did you need me to tell you that?**

**AN - this chapter is dedicated to belli4me coz she said that she liked the marauders notes and wanted more of them. Thanks for teh encouragment, el, hope this lives up to expectations (even though i think its a bit ramble-y) - sorry**

**Enjoy :)**

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**Chapter 10 - More Notes and an Angry Lily:**

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Catherine, **_**Anna. **_

Okay, so your detention's tonight at 8?

**Yep**

Who with?

**Filch, stupid git**

Good, it'll be easy then.

_What'll be easy?_

**Don't worry your pretty little head, Moony. **

_Padfoot, you know that telling me not to worry only makes me more nervous about whatever prank it is you're about to pull, don't you?_

**Course I do. But fear not, tis no foul that I have in store.**

Padfoot, stop speaking in riddles, it's only Moony.

_Thank you James_

However, in light of the fact that you are still prefect, and feel a certain loyalty to our fine Head Girl, I am unable to enlighten you as to our plans for the evening.

_Oh, come on James, you know I'd never rat you out!_

**That's true. **

Yeah, ratting out is Peter's job

_Ha ha, James! That was pun-tastic. Besides, you know he gets scared of McGonagall. And fair enough, too. If I had been in his shoes, I would've done the exact same thing._

**Yeah, but you're a goody-goody.**

Where is Peter anyway?

_I think he's having a nap._

**Yup, there he is - behind the girls. Ha! Get a load of Cat's face!  
**She's looking at him like he's just crawled out of the gutter.

**He has, though. I have to say, it ****was**** a very lively full moon last night, all things considered. **

_Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Please note the sarcasm!_

He didn't mean it Moony, you know how he can be.

**Stop talking about me like I'm not here, Prongs. **

I'm sorry Moony, did you hear something?

_Can't say I did James._

That's strange.

**Guys stop it, it's not funny!**

On the contrary, it's rather hilarious.

_You should see the look on your face - I've never seen someone pout so much!_

With the possible exception of that time Cat took the last treacle tart at the welcome feast, when Sirius had had his eye on it.

_Oh, now that was funny!_

**Shut up guys! I thought you were supposed to be my friends.**

Ah, but what are friends for if not to tease and belittle?

_If that's true, I have two of the best friends in the whole universe._

Ha ha, you know we love you Moony, so don't try and guilt-trip me into sympathy.

_But Prongs, look at this scratch on my face - that was Padfoot's doing - what sort of a friend does that?_

**Hey, it was a full moon - I was just trying to stop you hurting yourself!**

_I know, I was just trying to make you feel bad. Stop writing about that time of the month, or people will work it out!_

**People will work what out?**

**Cat? When did you get here?**

**I just slid into the chair next to you, Sirius, how could you possibly not have noticed?**

**I was thinking about lunch, sorry.**

**It's okay. I should know by now that when not thinking about girls or quidditch, you are thinking about your stomach. **

Hey Padfoot, a girl who understands you! Hallelujah!

**Shut up Prongs!**

**So what will people work out?**

**No comment**

**Come on!**

Promise you won't tell Lily?

**Pinkie swear**

Is that a girl thing?

**It means I promise**

Oh, okay.

_James, don't._

Relax Moony, I was just going to tell Cat about my plan to sneak Sirius out of detention.

_Oh, sorry!_

**Why, what did you think he was going to say?**

_Nothing, never mind.._

Anyway, Sirius has detention tonight for hexing Snape.

_**He probably deserved it.**_

**Anna? How many more of you are going to interrupt our note passing, which - you may have noticed - we have refined to a perfectly oiled machine of discretion. Don't be so bleeding obvious!**

**Since when do you of all people care about getting caught!**

**No comment. **

_**Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting what I'm sure would be a stimulating and intelligent conversation but I just came over here to tell Cat that Lily wants to speak to her.**_

**What about?**

_**Don't know - I think something to do with waking Peter up with a fun hex, if I recall correctly.**_

**Won't keep her waiting then. Gentlemen.**

**I don't see any gentlemen, do you Prongs?**

Nope, but that's not the point, what do you want me to do tonight? Cause a distraction, help you finish the task using magic do you get off early??

_**Are you going to bust Sirius out of detention tonight, James?**_

Well, yes, but don't tell Lily. I don't want her to get all grumpy at me again.

_You can't ask her to keep a secret from her best friend, Prongs_

Sure I can

_**Well, actually…**_

No, you can't tell her. Please!

**Yeah, she'll stop James and I'll have to do some stupid detention all by myself! With Filch! Have compassion sweet Anna Banana!**

_**I might be inclined to have more compassion if you didn't nickname me after my least favourite fruit.**_

**Sorry, but it's the only one that rhymes.**

_I'm shaking my head in exasperation._

You do that so much, Moony, that we don't even notice anymore.

_**Remus?**_

Yes Anna banana.

_**Why are you friends with these goons?**_

_You know what? That's a very good question!_

Anna, please don't tell Lily!

_**I'll try, but if it comes up in conversation, I'm not going to lie for you.**_

**Why not? **

_Because, unlike you Padfoot, she has a strong set of morals._

_**Thank you Remus.**_

_Anytime. _

_**I'm going to go help Cat and Lily torture your friend now. See you guys later.**_

**Don't hurt him!**

_Since when do you care so much, Paddy?_

**Since he's the only one that might ever take my side in an argument - traitor!**

_Whatever, I so can't be bothered arguing with you right now. It also occurs to me that since we are in this study period we should actually do some studying._

I agree Moony, I don't get much done in my common room these days.

**Coz Jamsie's got a crush!**

I do not. I just meant that I'm always busy with Head's duties, that's all.

_Sure, sure, I totally believe you._

Glares at two supposed best friends

**Glares back**

Carefully reminds said best friend about deal to get him out of detention

**Oh, right! Sorry Prongs! Please, anything, distraction sounds good - lend me your cloak too - it'll help.**

Okay, but I'll need the map to draw Filch out in the right direction.

**Okay, I'll be in the trophy room I think, so whenever you're ready?**

Cool, now let's get a wriggle on.

_A wriggle on?_

Shut it Moony.

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Lily Evans, **Catherine, **_**Anna**_

I'm so bored.

**Me too, studying bites!**

_**You two are so easily distracted, just knuckle down and study already.**_

And what is this? Anna Banana actually wanting to study - has the world gone topsy turvy?

_**How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Anna banana!**_

**Apparently more times than you already have.**

_**Ha - very funny Catherine, darling, but you forget the beautiful leaverage I have with your middle name.**_

You mean…

**Don't you dare write it! I hate my stupid middle name - my parents must've had too much fire whiskey when they decided it would be appropriate to name me after my great aunt!**

_**Are you kidding? I think Euphemia suits you down to the ground!**_

**I can't believe you just wrote that down. I'm going to tear that bit of parchment off and eat it later. **

You sound like Black - he will eat anything, I swear, it's disgusting.

**Speaking of disgusting marauders, look behind us.**

_**Oh, gross! He's drooling everywhere!!**_

**He looks like he just climbed out of the gutter!**

He probably did.

**Eww, I have to get away. I'm gonna go ask the guys why Peter's all the way over here.**

Maybe it's coz of his snoring.

_**Probably.**_

I'm going to take Cat's momentary absence as an opportunity to ask you what's going on?

_**What do you mean 'what's going on?'**_

I mean that for the past two weeks you haven't so much as glanced at another guy.

_**So?**_

So, it's completely unlike you. Usually, and don't take this the wrong way Anna, but by this time last year you were on your second boyfriend of the term and now your completely single.

_**Gee, thanks.**_

No, but can you see where I'm coming from?

_**You know, I might go and chat with the Marauders**_

No don't go, I didn't mean to upset you or anything. I was just wondering if maybe you went through a bad break-up on the break or, I don't know, already have a boyfriend that you don't want to tell us about or…

_**Or what?**_

Or maybe, I don't know, you've decided to bat for the other team?

_**Lils, I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not gay.**_

What a pity!

_**Lily, I never knew you felt that way!**_

Ha! Oh the wonders of sarcasm. So if you still like boys…

_**Which I most certainly do!**_

Then why haven't you hooked up with anyone yet. I mean what happened to my list. 

_**What list?**_

The list of all the guys you've been with at Hogwarts.

_**Why, Lily, I always thought you disapproved of that book.**_

I do, but that doesn't mean I'm not interested. 

_**Ah, sweet innocent Lily, a closet pervert**_

Oh shut up, banana head!

_**That's it, I'm going to go talk to the marauders. **_

Well, I suppose it's more interesting than studying.

I'm all alone,

No one's going to read this, most probably, I will hide this part of the note. 

But while I'm here I may as well record what I see. 

Peter is behind me, snoring and drooling - lord only knows why. Cat and Anna are over talking to the marauders to which I repeat - lord only knows why. 

Actually, Cat's over there coz I was bugging her. Anna is over there for an entirely different reason. Now, I suspect that she has a crush on one of them. This would explain why she hasn't made a move on anyone else this year. I have yet to work out which one of them she likes, all I know is it's not Peter. Oh, look, Cat's coming back.

**Hey, how goes it in the world of boring note passing?**

You're right, it would be way easier just to talk to one another.

**Yes, but that would indeed be to simple for us, wouldn't it Lils?**

Fair point. So what are we going to do tonight?

**I dunno.**

Why do you look guilty all of a sudden? Are you not telling me something?

**No**

No you're not not telling me something, or no you aren't telling me something?

**Err, both?**

_**Hey guys.**_

Hey, Cat's not telling me something!

_**Oh?**_

What?

_**Nothing**_

You know too!

_**I know nothing!**_

**I, too, deny categorically any knowledge of any stupid pranks that the marauders are going to pull tonight.**

_**Me too, but if I did know anything, I would be guessing that James is going to spring Sirius out of detention tonight. Whoops!**_

Oh that, I knew about that

**Really? How come?**

Oh, I overheard them talking about it last night. Sirius was furious that the new teacher had given him a detention and stormed into our quarters complaining to James. I told him that it served him right, and then I stormed up to my room. But I had the foresight to eavesdrop, and overheard James agree to help Sirius. 

**That's awfully nice of him though.**

No it's not. It's irresponsible and stupid. 

_**No, I have to agree with Cat on this one. Springing Sirius from detention is not going to cause anyone any harm. It's kinda an act of loyalty, if you ask me. **_

Well, I still reserve the right to be mad at him, I am Head Girl.

**He's Head Boy, remember?**

Yup - Dumbledore must've had a stroke or something.

_**Lils, you're being awfully stubborn about this. **_

And I don't care. Let's just get back to studying or something, okay?

**Fine, there's no point arguing with you when you get like this anyway.**

Good-o. I'm going to go grab my potions book. See you later guys xo

**She's got it so bad!**

_**Too bad she hasn't worked it out yet.**_

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**Hope that was ok - please review as i have noticed a severe decrease in reviews lately and its beginning ot upset me**

**if you want me to get a wriggle on with the plot let me know, or if you have any ideas/characters that you would like me to inlcude, you need only suggest**

**thanks and happy fanficcing!**


	12. It's Like the Cold War, but with Evans

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. After you read this chapter, it will probably become painfully obvious why.

AN - This chapter leaves a lot to be desired in my opinion (which im sure will make you want to read it - lol). But it had to be done. Lily and James had to have a mini fight as friends, and then get over it so that their relationship can... develop. This chappie is completely lilyjames-centric. there will be more on their friends in the following chapter coz they will be important in the plot later on. I got a review saying that i should get a wrigggle on with the plot and so im getting this chappie out of the way so that i can do just that. sorry it's a bit slow moving!

in spite of the lameness of this chapter, i hope you enjoy it and please do review!

* * *

**Chapter 11 - It's like the Cold War, only with Evans:**

As September wore on, Lily and James continued to treat one another with careful diplomacy. Lily had been disappointed, but not completely surprised, that James had chosen to disregard the rules and bust Sirius out of detention. As a result she had been distant with him, speaking only to him when she needed to discuss Head's duties or wanted him to pass the butter at meal times. While Cat and Anna apparently remained oblivious to the strange divide between the pair (as Lily had never been exactly friendly with James), James himself became increasingly quiet at meal times and in class. He was simultaneously annoyed at himself for disappointing Lily and annoyed at Lily for not confronting him with the issue. He wished she would just have it out with him already so that he could try getting back in her good books. As it was, he couldn't tolerate things the way they were at the moment.

* * *

James' Occlumency Diary: 

I know why she's angry. It's coz of Sirius' detention last week. Cat or Anna must have told her about the plan, even though I told them not to. Who was I kidding? Of course they aren't going to keep secrets from their best friend, but I could've sworn they wanted Lily to give me a chance. But clearly they didn't want to lie. Fair enough I suppose. Loyalty to your friends is important.

Which brings me to my next point: I know helping Sirius avoid detention wasn't necessarily the best thing to do, especially when I was already skating on thin ice for the whole party thing, but he needed me. It really wasn't fair of Blackbyrne to give him a detention in the first place. Padfoot's my best mate, I couldn't just leave him with Filch! Lily should understand this. After all, she's a Gryffindor too - loyalty is an important character trait for us. Frankly, I think she's just being a bit of a stubborn tight-ass.

Sirius reckons that she's just looking for any reason to be angry at me, but I can't think why. Why would Evans want to be angry at me? It doesn't make sense.

She doesn't make sense!

Why do I even like her?

Stupid detention. Stupid Snivellus. It's all his fault, really. If he hadn't been such an overgrown weed with greasy hair and a distinct lack of moral compass, then Padfoot wouldn't have hexed him and Lily and I would be talking. Like friends.

You know what? This occlumency diary is doing absolutely nothing for me. It's supposed to help me empty my head, but all it succeeds in doing is makes me think about her.

I can't put up with this any more. I need my sleep - we have quidditch training tomorrow morning, and how would it look if the captain fell off his broom coz he's so tired? Exactly!

So, I'm going to go have it out with Lily. I don't care if she wants to avoid it - that's too bad for her! She needs to get over it.

* * *

It was about ten thirty on a Wednesday evening when Lily was sitting at her thick wooden desk, trying to focus on writing a particularly challenging transfiguration essay. It had been just over a week since the Sirius-detention incident, and yet she found it difficult to think about anything but Sirius and James and their rule-breaking antics. She was just working herself up into a nice agitated state when none other than Potter himself walked in from the door to his staircase. He merely leant on his door frame and fixed Lily with a searching stare that made her very glad she was sitting down. She decided to play it cool and stared back at him, laying her quill down before her. 

"Potter, can you please close the door? You're letting in a draught" she said emotionlessly.

"Of course Evans, whatever you say" he replied, shutting the door behind him with a snap and walking over to sit behind the desk opposite her. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward staring at her (if it were possible) even more searchingly. His eyebrow quirked upwards a tiny bit, as though he was challenging her, but there wasn't a hint of a joke in his gaze.

"Is there something I can do for you Potter?" Lily asked with forced politeness.

"As a matter of fact there is" he replied. After a short pause Lily snapped "Well?"  
"No need to be rude, Lily flower" James drawled, knowing it would wind her up.

"Don't call me that Potter, you know full well how much it annoys me" she snapped, frowning at him, all her bottled up frustration leaking out.

"Well what annoys me is people not telling me if they're angry at me, but that never stopped you, did it?" he retorted. Lily took a short gasp of air, as though she'd just been slapped across the face. James Potter had never spoken to her that way before. James felt a small stab of guilt before he remembered that this girl had been giving him close to the silent treatment for the past week, without so much as a word of explanation.

"I know that you're pissed off with me for getting Sirius out of detention" he declared boldly, hoping that she would be riled into an argument.

"Yeah, I knew all about it. So what?" she replied coldly. James Potter would not make her feel guilty.

"That is the reason you haven't been talking to me. And frankly, I think it's pathetic" he said.

"You think it's what?! Look, Potter," she spat, "I don't care what you think. I don't care what you think because I don't care about you. I thought you were changing for the better, but then you go and pull a stunt like this an-"

"Pull a stunt like this?" James spluttered, choosing to ignore the 'I don't care about you' argument, "What do you mean? I'm known for doing stuff like this".

"That's exactly my point, you idiot! You're the Head Boy now. What about that speech you gave to the prefects about knowing where to draw the line? Hmm? I don't think you know where to draw the line and that is just hopeless" she said, raiding her chin a little.

"Give it a rest Evans. You know as well as I do that I've barely put a toe out of line this year. I think Padfoot's right. You are just looking for any reason to hate me"

"Don't be ridiculous James, why would I want to hate you?" she replied, looking at him as though he was deranged. There was a short pause, during which Lily realised how close James' desk was to her own. It was a little disconcerting.

"I have no idea why you want to hate me, Lily" he replied softly, before swiftly getting out of his seat, and exiting through the portrait hole.

Lily just sat and stared at the portrait hole wondering how, in a week, things had gone so wrong.

* * *

Lily's Occlumency Diary 

You know what, I should just call this 'My journal of things that Potter does to annoy me' as it would save time every time I want to sit down and write about him. Which is most of the time.

I was annoyed at James for getting Sirius out of detention. I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't try to stop it. And I am therefore also annoyed at myself. I am annoyed at Anna and Cat for not understanding my treatment of Potter. And I am annoyed at myself for not understanding it.

I think I may have overreacted a tiny bit.

What James just said really upset me.

It shouldn't.

But it does.

I don't hate him, nor do I want to hate him.

It's just sometimes I can be a bit irrational when it comes to anything concerning him.

I really need to get past that if we're ever going to be friends. But right now I need comfort food so that I can think of a game plan. Sure, apologies are healthy and, in this case, desperately required. This does not mean that they come easily. Especially to me. I despise being wrong and am usually reluctant to admit when it happens. But I must swallow my pride and do what's right. I suppose.

Hot chocolate first.

To the kitchens!

* * *

At first James had considered visiting his fellow marauders in their dormitory, but had decided against it for two main reasons. Firstly, he didn't want Sirius to know that he had been right about Evans wanting to hate him, and secondly he didn't want to see the smug, know-it-all look on Remus' face when he saw that Prongs was upset over Lily - again. So instead he decided to head on down to the kitchens for a bit of chocolate. Moony always swore by it when it came to cheering up. Although as Head Boy James was allowed to be out and about after hours, force of habit made him don the old invisibility cloak as he swept off down the stairs. 

Mere minutes later Lily took the exact same route that James had taken to the painting of a bowl of fruit. She tickled the pear, which promptly became a doorhandle, and stepped inside.

James looked up at the sound of the door opening, dropping his spoon with a clatter when he saw Lily in the doorway. His chocolate sundae completely forgotten, he stood up to leave but found that the now beetroot-coloured blushing Lily was blocking the only exit. The house elves currently manning the kitchen took this as their cue to make themselves scarce, so they hurried about cleaning and tidying, doing their best to be inconspicuous. James took a few steps back before looking at the ground and saying, "Lily, would you please move. I need to go back to my dorm now". When Lily didn't respond, he started to get frustrated.  
"Damn it, Evans, I need you to move". He looked up at her with a frown upon his handsome features, noticing that she was staring unseeingly at the cold stone floor. She had a strange expression on her face that made her look as though she was about to cry (although James suspected that this couldn't be possible, coz it was Lily Evans, after all).

"James-" she began in a shaky voice, before he cut her off, truly believing that she was about to start sobbing, and wanting to prevent this at all costs.

"Lily, I'm sorry I was rude to you before. Forget what I said, just please don't cry" he begged. Lily looked up at him angrily.

"Don't you apologise! It's my fault. If I was annoyed at you I should have said so, and not just stewed over it like I did" she exclaimed, all the while looking at the floor. "And I wasn't going to cry!" she added, indignantly.

"Sure, sure, whatever you say Captain" he joked, glad that Lily had finally apologised and that things could go back to normal.

"Oh shut up, you great lump" she smiled, slapping him on the arm.

"So may I enquire as to why you're down in the kitchens so late at night?" James asked, "I gather you weren't looking for me"

"No. I was just looking for somewhere to think"  
"And a whole common room to yourself isn't enough I suppose" he teased.

"Ha ha. And what about you? Sudden sundae cravings?"  
"Well, as a matter of fact.." he said, glancing back at his barely touched sundae, "Would you care to join me? These house elves know how to make a mean sundae. I've got a chocolate one - Moony reckons chocolate is the cure for everything" he grinned.

"Try telling that to Jennifer Midgen" Lily joked, referring to a Ravenclaw fifth year with terrible acne.

"Why Lily Evans, that was positively horrible" James admonished jokingly, "Whatever shall we do with you?"  
"Get me a chocolate sundae and I'm sure you'll think of something in the mean time" she replied, plonking down on the bench across from where James had been sitting.

"You know what?" James asked, as a button-nose house elf in a clean pink tea towel brought over another chocolate sundae. "We really do have a very strange relationship". He sat down opposite her and she nearly choked on her spoon at the word relationship.

"I mean we argue then make up, then have a fight then make up. Hell, even when we're not arguing it's like the fricken cold war - but then we make up anyway. I mean, that's pretty unusual, don't you think?"

"We're two of a kind, that's for sure" Lily said, without thinking. "I mean, err…"

"Don't worry, Lils, I got you" he smiled slightly.

"Yup" she said, before attacking her sundae with gusto.

"Guts" he said quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing"

"So, fancy anyone at the moment?" she asked him, momentarily forgetting that it was James Potter who she was asking. Struggling to keep from blushing, James cleared his throat.

"I, uh, well, not particularly. I mean, no?" he said, as though it was a question.

"No?" Lily raised and eyebrow, "Never thought I'd hear you say that"

"Well, you know, things change" he muttered, a hint of bitterness in his voice causing Lily to change the subject.

"So, are you looking forward to the match this weekend?" she asked politely, already knowing the answer.

"Are you kidding? Gryffindor and Slytherin - the ultimate grudge-match, and first game of the season? I can't wait! We are going to wipe the floor with those hopeless cases" he exclaimed, a look of intensity on his face now, that Lily was happy to see. Come to think of it, she hadn't really seen him happy for the past week. Now looking at it, she realised how much she'd missed it.

"I'll take that as a yes, then?" she grinned.

"For sure! Are you going to come and support the red and gold?" he asked hopefully.

"Wouldn't miss it" she smiled, "and James, I'm sorry I was a bit of a bitch this week. I tend to overreact sometimes, and I'm sorry you were on the receiving end" she looked at him with big honest eyes. 

"And also I'm sorry I said I didn't care. I lied" she said, looking slightly guilty.

"S'ok, Lils, let's just chalk it up to Mondayitis" he smiled.

* * *

Also I would just like to apologise for a few typos in the last two chapters. i think i used a your instead of you're -which is absolutely one of my pet hates!! i was disgusted! and also, in chapter 4 or 5, i think, i called it the great lake, when its the black lake - thanks to my sis for pointing that out. 

Anyway, i've heard of beta's, im not sure what they are or if i want one, so if anyone feels the need to explain, feel free to do so.

Also reviews are more than welcome - but no flames please! concrit is welcome :)


	13. There Will Be Blood

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill

AN - A shortish chapter about quidditch and things. Read and find out. A bit of intended cuteness, but it's so subtle I'm not sure if it came across. Oh well. I just wanted to put up another chapter tonight so that the plot can keep moving. This story takes place over the course of a year so it will be long, and it may drag in parts. But trust me, it'll be worth the wait. Please review - if all the 30 ppl who have this on story alert reviewed, it would make me a very happy chappie indeed.  
Enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 12 - There will be blood:**

As James pulled on his lucky quidditch socks (scarlet with quaffles and snitches on the toes) he thought of the day ahead of him. The first quidditch match of the season. His first chance of the year to vent his Slytherin-oriented frustrations (without the restrictions of a normal school environment). His first chance to show off in front of Evans, without her realising that it was all for her. His first chance to really strut his stuff. And he couldn't wait.

--

The tension within the school was palpable at breakfast. Lily was seated with Anna at the Gryffindor table, poking at her cereal as per usual when the Gryffindor team made their grand entrance. They strode into the hall to a hearty round of applause from three of the four tables, and boos and hissing from the emerald clad Slytherin supporters. James led his team into the room, with a look of absolute confidence on his handsome features. Sirius looked likewise cocky, blowing kisses and winking to his admiring fans. Catherine, on the other hand, had a look of calm determination on her face, acknowledging neither fan nor Slytherin before she came to sit down next to Lily.

"Hey gorgeous, feeling good about today?" Anna asked, clasping her hands together conspiratorially.

"We are going to absolutely smash them" Sirius butted in, plonking down next to Anna and taking a piece of toast off of her plate.

"Oi! I was eating that, Black" Anna exclaimed, slapping him on the arm.

"Don't injure my seeker, Brown, or I'll be forced to give you a detention" James warned, half-jokingly, before taking a swig of his pumpkin juice. Lily spared him an exasperated look before asking Cat "So, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. I'm just not hungry is all" she said, maintaining her focus on a spot on the far wall behind Lily's head. Cat was always like this before a match - especially the ones against Slytherin - and would often go into a trance-like state until the match actually began. Nevertheless, Anna and Lily both wanted their friend to do her best so they tried to force her to eat something.

"No guys" she protested, as if on auto-pilot, "I'm not hungry and you can't make me eat"

"Yeah, my lovelies, as much as I am an advocate for healthy eating… well, eating in general, I have to say, stop bugging her" Sirius tried, through a mouthful of marmalade toast. "She simply isn't going to eat anything, even though breakfast is the meal that should be celebrated above all, and I think you should just let her be spaced out for a while" he concluded.

"Gee Black, didn't know you cared so much" Anna said, quirking an eyebrow.

"I don't" he said hurriedly, "I just want our team to crush Slytherin and we need Cat in the right mindset to do so. Isn't that right Prongs?"  
"Sure, mate, spot on" James said, pulling himself out of the game plan that they had been discussing. The wronski-feints and sloth grip rolls were sure to trump the Slytherin team in terms of skill, but he knew that they were planning to play dirty, and couldn't help but feel a tiny bit nervous. Least of all because he and Lily had made up the night before, and now he had the burning desire to prove himself to her. With that in mind, he excused himself and headed off for the Gryffindor changing rooms with Sirius and Cat following in his wake.

* * *

"And Potter has the quaffle, passes to Jones who passes to Bourke. Ouch! Nasty bludger there from Flint. Bourke drops the quaffle. Now Slytherin are in possession. Flint to Avery, Avery shoots for the middle hoop. Nice save Simmons! James Potter back in possession. He dodges Mulciber, dodges Avery - nice sloth grip roll James! That's talent folks. Oh, he dodges Flint, he shoots. He scores! Gryffindor lead Slytherin 90 to 30. Slytherin still have a chance if Black finds it before Black. That's right, people, it's brother versus brother and the stakes are high". The magically magnified commentary boomed out across the pitch to reach the ears of the cheering fans in the stands. It was a crisp morning and the clear skies made for perfect flying conditions. The crowd had a perfect view of what was going on at all times.

While Gryffindor was holding a comfortable lead, it was clear to their supporters that this was not going to be the walk-over match that had been hoped for. By no means! The Slytherins were playing downright dirty! Gryffindor's star beater, Frederick Thompson, had already been knocked off of his broom when Flint's beater bat colided with his nose. Consequently Gryffindor had scored a penalty shot, but had been forced to call in the back up - something James was none too pleased about. It now appeared that they were trying to take out individual members of the team, even when they weren't in possession of the quaffle, so that Gryffindor would be left with a substituted team. Or at least, that's how it appeared to Lily.

"Go go Gryffindor!" she yelled along with the rest of the crowd, willing her house to victory. Then two things happened in very short succession.

"And Black has seen the snitch! The Gryffindor one, I mean, not the runt. And look, he's pulled into a sharp dive. He's not feigning - it's the real deal guys. Go Sirius!" the commentator yelled into the microphone. Sirius pulled out of the sharp dive, just before he went skidding into a heap with his brother, clutching the snitch in the tips of his fingers and wearing a smug grin that said 'too easy'. It was at this point that Lily and the rest of the crowd noticed a scarlet blur falling from the sky. Too Lily's horror, she realised that it was Cat, bleeding profusely from the head, tumbling down and down towards the hard and icy ground.

"Cat!" she screamed in terror. Cat must've been inched from the ground when a second scarlet blur swooped in from the left and caught her, which then sent the pair of them skidding gently to the ground. Lily was already out of her seat and halfway to the pitch when the call for Madame Pomfrey was made.

* * *

"You piece of troll shit! Are you bloody insane?!"

Lily could hear Sirius' outraged voice from across the pitch, but she had eyes only for the crumpled heap in the middle of the pitch that had now accumulated a small circle of people around it, the school matron included.

"There, there dear, it's alright" Madame Pomfrey's voice said soothingly, "The rest of you move out, she needs some space. _Wingardium Leviosa_". She levitated Cat's limp form onto a hovering stretcher and directed it up towards the school without pausing to look at the crowd. "Mr Potter, I suggest you change and shower and then come and visit me in the hospital wing" she instructed over her shoulder, "I reserved your favourite bed" she muttered with a smile. James had spent nearly as much time in the hospital wing as he had in detention, and was on quite good terms with the Matron.  
"Sure thing Poppy, be right there" he said, before turning his gaze over to the brawl erupting over his right shoulder.

"She could have died! Do you get that? It's just a quidditch match you insane filth" Sirius spat, before kicking Flint in the stomach again. He was curled up in a ball, attempting to kick Sirius' legs out from under him, but failing miserably.

"Get up and fight like a man, Flint, or would you rather go bludgeon some fourth year girls instead?" he yelled. At this Flint sprung to his feet, and with surprising agility, clocked Sirius in the eye. Sirius fell backwards onto his bottom, before whipping out his wand and hexing Flint with the bat-bogey hex.

"Padfoot, mate, are you okay?" James yelled from a short distance away. But Sirius ignored him. He was now blindly attempting to wrestle the burly Slytherin captain, who had cast the conjunctivitis on Sirius.

Then a whistle was blown and the small crowd that had formed around the brawling quidditch players dispersed.

"How dare you cause such a commotion on my quidditch pitch! I should have you both expelled for absolutely vulgar behaviour" cried Madame Hooch, the young umpire. In all the panic with Cat's fall, the two boys had gone quite unnoticed by the teachers. Until now.

"But did you see that, professor? He smashed her with his bat - right in the face! After I had caught the snitch!" Black exclaimed incredulously.

"Yes I did see that, Mr Black, and quite frankly I'm disappointed that you didn't think that I could capably handle the situation" she replied, eyes flashing. "Mr Flint a month of detention, in addition to whatever your Head of House sees fit to punish you with. Twice in the one match - I should have suspended you after the first incident with Mr Thompson. Dismissed. Mr Black" and here she lowered her voice "I know that you were just trying to do the right thing by Miss Jones, but your actions were completely out of order. As such I am giving you a fortnight of detention in addition to whatever Minerva sees just. Let me make myself clear, another outburst like this and you will be banned from quidditch for the rest of your days at Hogwarts. Do you understand me?" she demanded, in the same low voice.

"Yes professor" Sirius replied, looking at the ground with unfathomable contempt.

"Good. And Sirius," she looked at him, "Fantastic dive". Sirius could've sworn she smiled at him before heading off to sort out other small tiffs that appeared to have broken out over the Slytherin team's dirty tactics.

"Nice work, mate. She fully loves you" James said, clapping him on the back.

"Yeah, she does" Sirius grinned, before scowling once more, "But a fortnight of detention. Plus McGonagall's punishment! I'll be in detention forever".

"Taken care of" James grinned, "Head boy remember"

"Dude, I think your better half just heard that, and I'm betting she won't be too pleased to hear that you're busting me out again" Sirius whispered, looking over James' shoulder at an approaching Lily.

"Lily, I can explain-" James began, before being enveloped in a warm hug from his favourite Head Girl.

"You saved her, James!" Lily sobbed into his shoulder, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!".

"Geeze, if I knew that was what it'd take to get a girl to like me, I'd knock them off their brooms more often" Sirius commented dryly.

"Shut up Black" Lily said, though her heart wasn't in it.

"Look Lils, I know I probably shouldn't try and get Padfoot here out of his detention-" James started, but was cut off again by the Head Girl.

"I expect no less from a Gryffindor and a best friend" she said seriously, composing herself and pulling out of the hug. She turned her gaze to Sirius, just missing the confused exchange of glances between the two best friends.

"And you! Beating up Flint like that! It was irresponsible, and stupid, and insane", Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but Lily got there first, "And I will always be grateful for what you did on Cat's behalf. Even if it was a stupid thing to do" she finished all in one breath. There was a momentary stunned silence. Then

"Padfoot, Prongs, are you guys okay" Remus puffed, looking worn out and tired. Lily noticed a few more grey streaks to his hair and realised that it was almost time for another full moon. She smiled sympathetically at him, before saying "I'll see you guys in the common room for the after-party" and walking off to meet Anna and Cat in the hospital wing.

"What's up with her?" Peter asked, oblivious to the various scratches and bruises covering his two friends.

"Who knows" James said, staring after her with clouded eyes. There was another moment of silence.

"Mate? Yoohoo - Prongsie? I think you have a concussion. Go see Poppy" Sirius said, waving a hand in front of James' face. This woke James up a bit.

"Me? I'm not the one who got punched in the head by Flint the troll" James retorted.

"Punched? When? All we saw was Cat fall from the sky, then we couldn't get down here fast enough" Remus explained.

"Ah, it's a long story" Sirius said, "Well, actually it's quite simple, but I can't be bothered right now. Tell you in the change rooms".

"I think you're right. I should go straight to Poppy, I feel a bit dizzy" James said, turning his gaze towards the direction Lily had been walking in mere minutes ago. And with that he left.

_I'm sure he does feel dizzy, _Remus thought to himself, _But concussion has nothing to do with it. _

_

* * *

_

The after party and firewhiskey shall make for a very interesting next chapter as things start to heat up at Hogwarts. Stay tuned! RR please!


	14. Hospital Wing, AfterParties, Firewhiskey

**Disclaimer: **No, not yet. But the night is young! Harry Potter belongs to JK, and not me, but that doesn't stop me from wishing I had James!!!!

* * *

**Chapter 13 - The Hospital Wing, After parties and Firewhiskey:**

Lily entered the hospital wing to find Cat tucked up into a bed by the far wall, that overlooked (ironically enough) the entire quidditch pitch. Well, from a distance at least. Lily rushed over to her friend and took the seat next to the bed head. Anna nodded at her from her spot on the end of the bed.

Lily mouthed "Is she going to be okay?" to which Anna wordlessly replied "She should be fine". Lily motioned for Anna to join her a little way away from the bed so that they could chat properly and together they went and sat on an empty bed adjacent from the one Cat lay motionless in.

"So she should be fine?" Lily whispered without preamble.

"Yeah, essentially" Anna replied quietly. She had been quite shaken by what had happened to Cat, not least because she had actually dated Flint's cousin several months ago, and was feeling some twisted sort of guilt over the whole thing. As if reading her mind, Lily said "There's nothing you could have done. Flint is an absolute idiot and we will make him pay for what he did. But for now we have to focus on Cat, okay?".

Anna simply nodded her agreement.

It was at this point that the two girls heard the large hospital wing doors open with a creak again, and they turned to see James limping slightly into the room. Lily was up on her feet before she even knew it, rushing over to his side to help support him onto a bed. As soon as he had sat down she began reprimanding him.

"What do you think you were doing, limping over here on your own? You're injured, you great lump, why didn't you ask for help? I should get Madame Pomfrey for you, shouldn't I, or are you just going to get up and find her yourself? That was rhetorical James, don't answer, just sit still and try not to hurt yourself" she gushed before she could stop herself, as she sprung up and crossed the room swiftly to the matron's office.

James just sat in stunned silence. Though they were now what could be deemed 'friends by default', Lily had rarely expressed any interest where James' physical well being was concerned. In fact, James was beginning to feel better already, just knowing that Lily was worried about him. Well, that's what he had gathered from her crazy rambling sentence at any rate. Lost in his happy place and staring at the door that Lily had disappeared through, he did not notice Anna until she cleared her throat loudly. She had sat herself down right next to James on the bed, crossing her legs underneath her like a primary school student might do and fixing him with an intense stare. James had the distinct impression that he was being examined.

"Hi Anna. Err, what are you doing?" he asked awkwardly, not wanting to offend one of Lily's best friends but at the same time wanting to know if there was any particular reason she was staring at him creepily.

"I just came over to see if you were okay. You took a pretty nasty tumble before," she explained.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine," James replied nonchalantly, looking over Anna's shoulder towards the matrons' office. Anna followed his gaze.

"What are you looking at?" she asked slyly, already having a pretty good idea.

"Huh? Oh, I just was looking for Poppy - might have concussion or something," he said hastily, tearing his eyes away from that particular direction.

"How is Cat doing?" he asked, wanting to get the focus off of him. It worked.

"She should be okay - no lasting damage at least. If you hadn't saved her though, James, I just can't imagine…I mean, who knows what could have…" a distant cloudy look was in her eyes, and a slight crinkle appeared between her eyebrows. James instinctively reached out and pulled Anna into a comforting hug. She rested her head on his shoulder for a minute or two, while he simply rubbed her back and thought about how he wished it was Lily that he was comforting.

Unfortunately for him, this was what Lily walked in on with the Madam Pomfrey seconds later. Although she tried to conceal it, Lily was a bit annoyed to see her best friend in the arms of James Potter. She knew that it had nothing to do with jealousy or anything - at least, that's what she thought she knew….. It was more the fact that he was comforting her best friend when she should have been... well, that was what she told herself at any rate. James looked up to see Lily walking half a step behind the strict nurse and quickly pulled out of the hug he had been giving Anna. Anna seemed to notice Lily's presence at this point and at least had the decency to blush slightly.

"Mister Potter," Madam Pomfrey began, "What did you think you were doing, wandering the halls all alone? You always come straight to me after quidditch - you should know this after six years of falling off your broom at Hogwarts. Now over on that bed, on your back, and let me examine you."

James limped over to the next bed, Lily restraining the urge to rush over and help him, and lay himself down on his back - as per the instructions. Madam Pomfrey held her wand aloft, muttered something inaudible under her breath and began to pass her wand up and down over James' prone form. As she held it a good 30 centimetres above his body, it emitted a soft buzzing sound and a dim mauve light. James felt a curious, though not unfamiliar, tingling sensation throughout his body (how many times had he been examined by the matron in all his years at Hogwarts?). After about a minute or so, Madam Pomfrey declared that there was nothing wrong with James apart from a bruised ankle and, potentially, a bruised ego.

"I recommend you spend the night here in the hospital wing, James, just to be on the safe side."

At this James sat up quickly, "Do I have to?" he whined, "I mean, come on, I've had worse and there's the quidditch celebration in the common room and I'm the captain. I mean, it really wouldn't do for the captain to miss his own celebration, now would it?"

Lily smiled at this. Even in his injured state, James still couldn't resist a party. The matron sighed and rolled her eyes (though she was smiling on the inside).

"I don't suppose there's anything I could do to stop you anyway, Potter, so yes you're free to go. Girls," she said, turning to address Lily and Anna, "Do not worry about Miss Jones. A couple of nights rest here and she will be as good as new. Please feel free to pass this on to others in your house so that people do not worry. Good night."

Left to their own devices, the three Gryffindors got up and meandered slowly to the door. Anna then started, as if she had forgotten something. Lily and James turned to look at her.

"Anna, what's wrong now?" Lily asked.

"I just completely forgot something" she replied vaguely, before dashing off down the other end of the corridor. It was nearing the end of dinner (apparently the quidditch match had taken longer than expected) and the halls were filled with students, so Lily and James lost sight of her almost immediately.

"What do you reckon that was all about?" James asked.

"No idea, but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," Lily said, before turning back to look at James who was now walking without a limp.

"I'm sure I said it before but just in case… Thank you so much James," she said sincerely, looking up into his hazel eyes. His heart stopped for a moment as he gazed back at her, at a loss (for once) for something to say. Lily was likewise unsure of what to say next - damn her and her lack of planning! She shook her head slightly and groped around for a change of topic.

"So a party in the common room, that should be a laugh," she said, continuing to walk down the hall.

"Yeah, they usually are," James replied awkwardly, "knowing Sirius he'll already have the Firewhiskey out by now." He put a hand over his mouth, realising what he had just said and to whom he had just said it.

"I mean, erm, what I meant to say is… shit!" he cursed. Lily just laughed at his discomfort - it was a rare thing to witness it around James Potter.

"James, don't stress. As previously established, I'm not much in the mood for rule-abiding today. Heck, I as good as gave you permission to bust Black out of detention. Besides, I know there's nothing I can do if he brings you-know-what to the party. We just have to make sure it doesn't get to any of the younger students, agreed?"

"Agreed," James grinned, relieved. Again. They parted ways when they reached their private common room - Lily going to her bedroom to get changed, and James going to the bathroom for a quick shower. It was a challenge for Lily not to think about James in the shower while she changed into her favourite flared jeans, and emerald green shirt. She reprimanded herself mentally - as per usual - but wasn't so strict on herself this time. She truly was in a very un-Lily mood. _And I haven't even had any Firewhiskey yet_, she thought to herself.

She left a note for James on his door reading _Hey James, I went to find Anna for the party. Hope you don't mind. See you there, Lily_. She hadn't signed it with kisses or hugs or anything, yet the fact the she had bothered to leave him a note, cheered James immeasurably. He set off towards the party with a new spring in his step, Gryffindor scarf bouncing jauntily around his neck.

* * *

"Anna, where have you been?" Lily demanded upon entering the seventh year dormitory and spotting her friend lying on her bed, staring motionlessly at the ceiling. 

"Nowhere" she lied.

"Anna Elizabeth Brown, I can tell when you're lying. Where have you been?" Lily persisted.

"I just had to see someone, okay. Stop asking me," she grumbled, turning to face away from Lily. This behaviour perturbed the head girl, to say the least, but she did not push the subject.

"So, are we going to this party or not?" Lily asked, trying to get her friend excited.

"Sure, whatever" Anna replied, sitting up on the bed.

"I hear Black's got Firewhiskey," Lily offered, "And I promise not to confiscate it."

Anna seemed to perk up at this, and Lily tried not to notice that it was the mention of alcohol that got her best friend into such a good mood.

"What am I going to wear?" she exclaimed, jumping up and riffling through her trunk. Lily laughed. This was the Anna she knew and loved.

* * *

"Oi, Padfoot" James yelled as he walked through the portrait hole. He was welcomed with cheers and people toasting him from all areas of the room - it seemed the party had already begun. Sirius looked up from his position on the couch by the fire (where he was surrounded by giggling girls, apparently retelling his superb capture of the snitch) and grinned at his best friend. 

"Prongsie!" he yelled, motioning for James to come over and join his… company.

"Mate, having fun? Is Moony upstairs?" he asked.

Sirius nodded, "Too tired."

"And where's Wormtail got to?"

"I have absolutely no id- oh good Merlin, no!" he yelled, eyes wide.

"What?" James asked, following Sirius' gaze. What he saw made him simultaneously want to laugh (because of Padfoot's reaction) and be sick (because what he was looking at was just plain wrong).

There in the corner by the bay window was Peter thrashing about like an eel in what could - at a stretch - be called a passionate snog with a fifth year named Agatha. In actuality, it looked like he was trying to eat her face off, but neither James nor Sirius could continued to watch this bizarre event, so neither could give him a proper critique the next morning when he'd ask where he was going wrong.

"Well, that was certainly... unexpected," James said when they had both recovered from the shock.

"I'll say" Sirius replied, still gob smacked, "Oh no, you know what this means?"

"Nope" James replied, not really caring much either.

"I've lost the crown"

"The crown?" James frowned in confusion - in all his years of being friends with Sirius, the 'frown of confusion' had been his most used expression.

"Yes, you know, the kissing crown - the title belonging to he who has had the most recent snog... I won't be the last one who's had a good snog!" he cried indignantly.

"You know what, Padfoot, I think we decided that the crown was a stupid and redundant title," James suggested helpfully.

"Yes, but I only agreed because I had the crown," Sirius whined, "If I'd known I was going to lose to Wormtail of all people, the crown wouldn't even exist - I can't face that sort of humiliation!"

Choosing to ignore the senselessness of Sirius' speech (after noting the almost empty bottle in Sirius' hand) James decided to get himself a drink. He took a large swig of Firewhiskey and felt immediately relaxed, a warm feeling spreading itself throughout his entire body. It felt good.

"I suppose there would always be plenty of willing volunteers to help me get the crown back," Sirius mused, to the twittering and giggling of the girls around him.

"You might want to rethink that one, Padfoot, how would Cat feel?" James said, before he could stop himself.

"Huh?" Sirius replied, utterly perplexed.

"Whoops" James said, taking another sip of his drink so that he could avoid Sirius' question. Apparently a sip isn't long enough to evade questioning.

"What do you mean by that? 'How would Cat feel?' She's not even here. And if she was, why would she care? What aren't you telling me?" Sirius demanded.

"That was too many questions for me to answer, Paddy, so too bad. And another thing, work it out for yourself," James replied, feeling bad that he might've distressed his mate over a mere suspicion that he had. Mind you, his suspicions usually turned out to be correct. And if he was correct, he certainly didn't want Sirius to screw up before he had a chance to work things out for himself. He turned away and drained his bottle, looking up at the girls staircase where two pretty seventh years - one in a denim skirt and light blue singlet top, the other sporting jeans and a green shirt - had just emerged from their dormitory. James felt a sudden dizziness that he had grown to associate with Lily Evan's presence, but which may have been helped along by his consumption of an entire bottle of alcohol in the space of about five minutes.

Lily spotted James in the crowd - wearing an expression appropriate to someone who has been clubbed over the back of the head - and waved at him. He smiled and motioned for them to join him near the fire with Sirius and his gaggle of girls.

Anna and Lily descended the staircase and wove their way through the crowd to where James was standing. He offered them both a drink, and was surprised that they both accepted eagerly. Though, in fairness it had been an emotional sort of day, what with the adrenalin of the quidditch match and the worry for their friend in the hospital wing. It was no wonder they wanted to unwind.

For a while the girls and James chatted amiably with Jonathon Bourke and Tim Simmons from the quidditch team, (Sirius was otherwise engaged) plus a couple of sixth year fans who seemed to idolise James. _I can see why they love him_, Lily admitted to herself, unaware of the implications of what she had just thought.

She was now onto her second Firewhiskey, as was James, and had begun to feel the need for a little bit of dancing. Someone had bewitched the gramophone to play muggle tunes and wizarding ones alternately so that everybody's tastes were accounted for. She began to sway a little to the music, then she began to hum it. Luckily for everyone involved Lily wasn't tone deaf. James perked up when he noticed his favourite song was being played.

"Oh, I love this song!" he exclaimed happily, moving away from the group and towards the space behind their couch where people appeared to be dancing.

"I don't know this song but I think I love it too," Lily cried giddily, following James. Jon and Tim went to follow the pair, but Anna held them back with her arm.

"I think they should have a little time alone, don't you?"

Out on the dance floor, James was breaking it down with some of the daggiest moves Lily thought she had ever seen. He really was a rather terrible soloist.

"James, there is no way that you think that can be cool!" she exclaimed through bouts of laughter.

"Of course I don't, Lily my dear, this is purely for my own amusement," he said as he started to shimmy from side to side, resulting in a fresh peel of laughter from Lily. The music suddenly changed to a song Lily recognised. It was slow, if not a bit out of place at a party, and she had a sneaking suspicion that one of her friends had done this - and Lily's suspicions were usually correct. But in her 'relaxed' state, she was none too annoyed with the song choice. In fact, she was rather pleased, for now she had a reason to teach James Potter to dance.

"Aww, a slow song - how am I supposed to dance to this?" James moaned to nobody in particular.

"Like this," Lily said, stepping up to him and placing her arms around his neck. James was so shocked he didn't know what to do.

"Don't get your hopes up, Potter, I'm only teaching you, so don't get any funny ideas," Lily said with a tone of mock severity. "Put your hands on my hips," she instructed, not even breaking eye contact.

"Put them where?" James asked genuinely. Lily let out a half-sigh, half-giggle. She removed her arms from around his neck, took his hands/wrists and placed them firmly on her hips. Then she put her hands back to their previous position, so that they were linked behind James' neck, and began to move in time to the music. They swayed on the spot for a bit, each too lost in the moment and the music and the atmosphere to notice much of what was going on around them, until some random party-goer pushed roughly past Lily, knocking her forwards so that her body was pressed flush against James', her hands now resting on his chest where she had tried to steady herself. She looked up into his hazel eyes, to find them rather closer than she had been expecting.

"Sorry, I seem to have been pushed in the back," Lily admitted, not making any move to change her surprisingly comfortable position.

"That's okay," James admitted, his voice about half an octave higher than usual. It seemed that the Firewhiskey was beginning to wear off, and each of them was noticing the strange proximity to one another that they had literally been pushed into.

"So, do you want me to move?" Lily asked tentatively, "because I don't think I can". James' heart flip-flopped in his chest. Was she hurt? Or dare he believe what he suspected she was getting at?

"Why can't you move?" James asked, voice almost back to normal (though he was struggling to maintain this).

"Because I don't want to" Lily whispered, her eyes locked on his. Then, as if in slow motion, James' face came closer to hers, and Lily found herself tipping her head a little to the right…

* * *

AN - hehe, do they kiss? don't they kiss? wait and see (coz i have yet to decide - altho i can be persuaded by the promise of either cyber cookies or cyber-hugs) 

so, that was a lot to take in in one chapter - sorry it took me so long to post - i was on camp and then spent ages catching up on school and dancing (although you probably don't care that much!) and year 12 is ruining my life!!!

but anyway, i hope that chapter was ok and that the characters stayed true to, well, their characters - lily was a bit off coz of her emotional trauma and james is having trouble containing himself around lily (he's in love, can you really blame him?!) so i hope that was okay.

Thank you muchly to those who reviewed my last chapter, in particular - lulu x712, x-HP4ever, FangedLeaf,HeyThereGeorgieGirl, childforever, 00jade, Lucinator22 and shetlandlace - you guys rock my socks so thanks so much for reviewing!!!!!!!!!

Please everyone, review if you have time. also, happy fanficcing :)

Here are some things to ruminate (sp??) on: what was Anna doing after they left the hospital wing and why is she so grouchy? Is James right about Cat and Sirius? Why was Sirius 'otherwise occupied'? Who would be insane enough to kiss Wormtail? And of course, will Lily and James kiss/get together/not kiss/have regrets/fight, etc??


	15. Who Has the Kissing Crown Now?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but I'm in love with James Potter if anyone's wondering... **

**Chapter 14 - Who Has the Kissing Crown Now?:**

Then, as if in slow motion, James' face came closer to hers, and Lily found herself tipping her head a little to the right… Her emerald eyes were still fixed firmly on his hazel ones, and she found that it was very difficult to breathe. The pair seemed to both be having minor arguments with themselves in the seconds that they stood there.

Inside Lily's head:

If you're waiting for the opportune moment to kiss James Potter, this is it.

_Lily, what are you doing? This isn't logical! Don't do something you'll regret._

Regret kissing James? That won't happen. Just look at those eyes!

_Lily, be sensible for goodness sake. He's irresponsible and arrogant, you're mature and modest. _

He's not those things anymore - just look at him. Give him a chance - you know you want to. That's it, tilt your head to the side…

_Okay, go for it. Do it now before the Firewhiskey wears off._

It already has.

_Wait, so this is the sober me thinking?_

Yes.

_Good - I don't want any reason to regret this. _

**Inside James' head:**

She's so close to me. Those eyes. I could look into them forever. Merlin, she is so beautiful. Just kiss her, James. Just go for it.

_No, Don't take advantage of her. She's been drinking - she doesn't really want to kiss you._

Of course she does. You're James Potter, she's Lily Evans, you're meant to be together. She just doesn't know it yet.

_That's a fair point. Go for it!_

Hey, you didn't think that was a good idea two seconds ago.

_Yes, well that was before she gave you the nose-avoidance tilt. GO FOR IT!_

James leaned down so that his lips were hovering mere millimetres away from hers. She could feel his breath tickling her lips, and she trembled a little in anticipation. She was just about to close the gap between them when...

CRASH

James and Lily were pulled roughly out of their moment by the sound of glass breaking. Both broke apart quickly , blushing profusely, to see what had transpired. Apparently Peter hadgotten a little carried away in his snog-fest with Agatha the fifth-year and in their 'moment of passion' they had knocked over a table of empty bottles, the result being a whole section of the room covered in broken glass.

Slipping into Head-Girl mode, Lily hurried over to the pair and reprimanded them gently, overseeing their cleaning up of the mess to make sure no-one would stand on left over shards of glass the next morning. It seemed to James that, based on the haste with which Lily had left him to 'do her duty', Lily was regretting getting so close and was probably regretting her decision to invite a kiss. Of course, since no actual kiss took place it might not be too awkward for the pair. In fact, the 'nearly kiss' could potentially be blamed on the consumption of Firewhiskey. Secretly they both hoped that the other was thinking this so that they could continue on as they had been without the problematic 'where do we stand now?' question.

However, knowing Lily as he did, James was guessing that she would now treat him differently than before but wouldn't admit to it when questioned. Really, he knew Lily too well. Asshe looked back to James standing where she had deserted him, she blushed a light pink and turned away, confirming James' theory that the nearly-kiss was going to cause lots of problems.

"Mate," Sirius appeared out of nowhere, clapping James on the back, "What was that?"

"What?" James asked with a slightly dazed look on his face.

"You and Evans. Getting pretty close and cozythere. Nice work! I have to say, in all honesty, I never thought you'd make it," Sirius continued, oblivious to James' reddening cheeks.

"Nothing happened," James insisted, an annoyed tone working its way into his voice.

"Are you kidding? Looked like you two were about to snog, and I can tell these things. I mean, that nose-avoidance head tilt she was giving you - dead give away. I should know, I've seen it enough times," he grinned.

"Sirius, nothing happened. Will you just drop it?" James demanded. Noting James' distress, Sirius backed down and changed the topic straight away.

"So, you want to know what I was doing all night?" he offered.

"No, I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow," James said shortly, practically running out the portrait hole. Lily saw him go with a sinking heart. What had she done?

* * *

**James****'**** Occlumency Diary:**

I nearly kissed Lily Evans.

Nearly.

I have waited for seven years to kiss Lily Evans, and tonight it nearly happened.

Nearly.

* * *

**Lily****'****s Occlumency Diary:**

I nearly kissed James Potter.

Nearly.

I've royally screwed things up!

I don't even think he likes me that much anymore. I mean, he hasn't asked me out all year - that must mean something! And, Lily Jane Evans, that is the last time you will ever ever consume Firewhiskey, because you loose your inhibitions and then you ruin friendships. So no more, ever again!

I can't believe I was so stupid. I was so caught up in the moment I didn't even stop to notice whether or not he was responding. Probably not. I would remember him trying to kiss me back, wouldn't I?

This is so frustrating. I can't believe I would do that. And we have a meeting with the prefects tomorrow morning; I will have to spend at least an hour beforehand just with him going over everything. How awkward!

Maybe I should just leave him a note. Yes, go down to breakfast really early and leave him a note apologising for my stupidity. That way I wouldn't have to face him, and I won't get that stupid tingly feeling in my stomach. And then we can go back to things being normal again.

That's the plan.

* * *

It was at this point in reading his parents notes, that Harry realised just how lucky he was to exist. At the rate his parents were going now, Harry struggled to see how he was ever concieved. Mind you, that wasn't really an image he wanted to see. But still, he couldn't help but laugh at his parents collective stupidity and, well, shyness. He would have thought that two such people as his parents, who had defied the Dark Lord on three separate occassions, joined secret societies and worked in such high stake professions (ie being an auror and a healer), would have had a bit more courage. After all, they were both Gryffindors. Mind you, it had taken Harry long enough to admit his feelings towards Ginny, so he supposed it all evened out. 

Feeling very lucky to be alive (but for a completely different reason to the usual 'I could have died in my cot at the hands of the greatest dark wizard of all time' cocnept), Harry continued to read various newletters and notes...

* * *

_Meanwhile, back in the dormitory of Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot…_

"Sirius, go away, I just want to sleep."

"But Moony, you should have seen it. I mean, Peter of all people!"

"So what? Everyone deserves a little love."

"Not him! It's disgusting. And now I've lost the crown!"  
"Oh, not this stupid crown again," Remus moaned into his cushion.

"Look, just coz you've never been kissed, doesn't mean you can underestimate the merit in the crown-system."

"First of all, it's a full moon tomorrow night so I'm tired and really would like to sleep now. And secondly, what makes you think I've never been kissed?"

"WHAT!?"  
"I'm not giving details"  
"WHAT!?"  
"You heard me, now GO AWAY!"

"You've been kissed?"

"Yes."

"By a girl?"

"Yes, of course by a girl!"

"Don't get so defensive, it's just that guys are okay, too, if you swing that way."

"Well, I don't swing that way. Sorry to disappoint."

"Oh my heart is simply breaking," he said sarcastically. "No, mostly I just thought since you're so smart and tidy and feelings-y…"  
"Sirius, you've known me for how long and you still think I might be gay?" Remus asked, incredulously.

"Well, you never know. My gaydar's broken so I just thought I'd check."  
"Gaydar?"

"Never mind, it's a complex term."

"The way your mind works gives new meaning to the expression complex. And not in a good way," Remus retorted.

"Whatever Moony, just coz you haven't had the crown in a long time..."

"Why do you say that?"

"Have you snogged some girl this year?"  
"Well, no, not this year. Not yet."

"I rest my case."  
"You're a nut case."

"Yes, but you love me anyway."  
"Yes, but as previously discussed, not in that way."

"You're just full of humour tonight, Moony."  
"Well, would you be charming and delightful the night before you are forced to change into a hideous creature that runs the risk of hurting an innocent or a friend?"

"Point well taken."  
"Good, then let me sleep."  
"But I haven't told you the other news."  
"Let me guess. You snogged Victoria or Elizabeth or Suzan?"  
"What makes you say that?"  
"Because it seems that your mission in life is to snog as many young, attractive females as humanly possible."  
"Listen, it's not my fault that they all fall for my incredible charm and wit."  
"Whatever Sirius, I just think that instead of random hook-ups and your stupid crown, you should try a meaningful relationship for a while."  
"Says he who's never been in a relationship,"

"Who says I haven't!?" Remus cried indignantly again.

"Doesn't matter, I believe you," Sirius repeated dully, "You're starting to sound like James"

"Huh?" Remus mumbled into his pillow.

"He was going on about me not snogging randoms because of Cat, or something"

"Oh, that's interesting," Remus replied in a slightly higher voice than usual, indicating that he probably was thinking along the same lines as James.

"What? You too? What are you guys on about?" Sirius asked forcefully. Unluckily for him, Remus was in no mood to be bossed about.

"Padfoot, if you can't work that one out, then you really aren't utilising that surprisingly active brain of yours. Mind you, I don't spose she's figured it out yet either…" he said, more to himself than to Sirius.

"She doesn't know what?"  
"I'm tired, Sirius, did anything else of interest happen or can I go to sleep?"  
"Well, Lily and James almost kissed."

"What?" Remus sat straight up in bed, eyes wide.

"Oh yeah sure, that gets a reaction, but when it's about me you couldn't care less," came Sirius' hurt reply.

"No, it's just, wow. I never thought they'd get it together!"  
"Well they didn't get it together, so you were right, weren't you?" Sirius said grouchily, annoyed that his news was apparently least interesting to his werewolf friend.

"Then what actually happened?"

"They'd both had a little to drink - I think they were tipsy - then they started to dance to the Weird Sisters. Then a slow song came on and Lily decided to show Prongs how to dance-"

"How sweet!"

"You old softie."  
"Anyway, then what happened?"  
"Well, I decided to give them a push in the right direction."

"Now who's the softie?"  
"Shut up. So yeah, she ended up in his arms, and they were leaning in - I swear they were about to kiss when BAM!"  
"Bam?"  
"BAM - Wormtail, who was snogging Agatha from fifth year-"

"Eww!"  
"Yeah, tell me about it mate"

"But that's just.."  
"Wrong, I know. Anyway, it seems they got carried away in their snog-fest, and smashed a whole lot of bottles, which Lily took it upon herself to clean up"  
"Do you reckon she was looking for a way out?"  
"Huh?"  
"I mean, did she look relieved, disappointed to stop nearly-kissing Prongs?"  
"Both, I think. But this really isn't that interesting to talk about for me"  
"No doubt we'll be hearing about their nearly-kiss from James for many weeks to come"  
"Actually, I doubt it. When I went to congratulate Prongsie on getting so close, he got really touchy and stormed off"  
"Hmm"  
"Yeah"

"Well, we'll let him stew and wallow. He'll get over it soon enough"  
"He always does. I mean, how many times has Evans rejected him?"  
"Too many to count. He'll bounce back. I, on the other hand, will not."

"I repeat, huh?"  
"You're going to have one very grouchy werewolf on your hands tomorrow night if you don't let me sleep soon"

"Okay, okay, message received"

"Good, I thought it'd never get there"  
"Night Moony"  
"Night Padfoot"

* * *

Lily's Note to James: 

_James, _

_We have a meeting with the Prefects today at eleven o'clock in the transfiguration classroom on the second floor. I__'__ll meet you there at ten thirty to go over details. I__'__ve just gone down for an early breakfast now so that I can go over things on my own first. _

_Also, I__'__d just like to apologise for last night. I think I may have acted inappropriately towards you (although I don__'__t remember everything - so if I said something terrible, please forgive me!) and I__'__m really truly sorry and I hope we can still be friends. Blame it on the Firewhiskey, I say. It was a good night, though, and I really hope I didn__'__t spoil it for you._

_See you later, _

_Lily _

James read Lily's note (after a restless night's sleep that was filled with worry) and felt disappointment settle in the pit of his stomach. So she hadn't meant anything by the nearly-kiss. She was happy to blame it on the alcohol. He had to admit, he had hoped that she was genuine in her actions towards him the previous night. She had wanted to teach him to dance, she had happily stayed in his arms, heck, she had even been leaning in for a kiss. Damn Wormtail and his bad timing!

This is what perplexed James - would Lily have kissed him had they not been interrupted? He was sure Lily had been sobering up by the time of their nearly-kiss, so her alcohol excuse was redundant. But he wouldn't bring that up. It would not do to tease Lily about their relationship - not when it was so important to him.

All things considered, James was taking Lily's denial quite well. He figured it was a relief because he was trying not to be distracted or be a distraction in the NEWTS year, and any romantic involvement with Lily would certainly compromise this goal.

With this in mind, James decided to go down to breakfast and act like nothing unusual had happened.

Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor table reading the _Daily Prophet_ when James entered the Great Hall. He was surprised that she was still sitting there - according to her note she had left him, she had been up for hours. He felt the smallest ray of hope - maybe she was waiting to talk to him. As he got closer, he noticed the faint crease between her eyebrows and peered at the paper she was holding in front of her face. The front cover bore the headline _Mass Muggle Killing Perplexes Ministry: Dark Lord's Doing or Copy-Cat Killing?_ James could now see why Lily looked so grave.

"Hey Lils," he said tentatively, "can I sit here?" he indicated to the seat opposite her. She looked up and flushed a dull pink colour.

"Morning James. Sure, I was just going to go for a walk anyway," she got up to leave, but James interrupted.

"Can we please talk for a bit? About last night?"

Lily's heart skipped a beat. Hadn't she explained all this in her note? Surely he would understand that she didn't feel the need for further embarrassment.

"Umm, okay," she replied.

"Well, I was just wanting to say that, umm"

And this was the moment. Should he tell her the truth - that he really had wanted to kiss her and was really upset that she tried to make excuses for her actions? Or should he make things easy for her by agreeing that nothing happened and that they should forget about it? James chose to be a gentleman, even though it meant going against his motto 'honesty is always the best policy'.

"I wanted to say that since nothing actually happened we should just forget about it, you know?" he said calmly. He mentally patted himself on the back - this would make things alright now.

"Yeah, sure, great!" Lily replied, eyes wide in agreement.

"So, yeah. Are we good?" James asked extending his hand, a hint of a cheeky smile back on his face.

"We're good," she agreed, shaking his hand (and ignoring the tingles she felt where her skin touched his).

"So, Prefects meeting ey?"

"Yup, at eleven. It's ten thirty now so we may as well go straight there," Lily suggested.

"I still can't believe we're making them have meetings on the weekend," James half moaned.

"Actually, that's a fairly good point. We had quidditch yesterday and meetings today. When are we ever going to do our homework?" Lily said, her brow creasing again.

"Well, that wasn't my primary concern," James admitted, "I was thinking more along the lines of free time. But homework is also a good point. Maybe we should bring it up at the meeting."

"Hmm?"

"Ask them if they could find a better time for regular meetings."  
"Good idea, I'll put that on the agenda."  
"What else is on there?" James asked, leaning over Lily's shoulder to look at the clip board she had extracted from her bag and was now consulting as they were walking down the corridor.

"Well, we need to see how everyone's going with their duties and patrols, then we need to start delegating tasks for the Halloween feast and potential ball-"

"We're getting a ball?" James asked excitedly.

"Well, I asked Dumbledore at the start of term because Anna was nagging me about it, and he said to draw up a proposal and we might be able to make it an annual event."

"Even though this is our last year here," James said sadly.

"I know, it's sad isn't it? I don't know what I'm going to do next year," Lily said as they entered the Transfiguration classroom.

"I think I'm going to train to become an Auror," James declared proudly, "Just like my Dad."

He went and sat behind McGonagall's desk as Lily sat across the room from him.

"That's great, James," Lily said, "We're going to need as many aurors as we can get to win this war."

"I saw the front page of the _Prophet_. Does it look like his work?" James asked, referring to he-who-must-not-be-named.

"It looks likely," she sighed, "the victims were five muggles and two muggle born witches who were relatives."

"Don't worry, Lily, we will win. I promise" James said softly from across the desk.

"I know," she replied.

"So, what are you going to do after Hogwarts?" James asked, looking for a bright change of topic.

"I really don't know," she admitted sheepishly, "I'm good at charms and potions so I was thinking maybe I'll work as a healer, which means a four year internship at St Mungo's. But that's not my main concern."  
"What is your main concern?" James asked, frowning.

"Where the hell am I going to live?" she exclaimed, before she could stop herself.

"Umm, at home?" James suggested, somehow guessing that this was not the correct answer.

"I can't James. They're all muggles, which would be okay if my sister didn't hate me and call me a freak. Plus our house is miles away from any magical community, and I want to be near people like me, you know?" she finished, all in one breath.

The part of James' brain that liked to live in the land of fantasy briefly entertained the idea of Lily coming to live with him in his family home. Heaven knows there's enough room - it's a veritable mansion for Pete's sake! But the sensible part of him knew better than to suggest this after their brief misunderstanding at the party. So instead he offered this advice:

"What about Cat and Anna? You could share a flat with them, or go stay with their families until you get a place of your own."  
"That's always an option. I spose there's safety in numbers, and we need that nowadays," she glanced at the _Prophet_ lying on the table in front of her.

"Do you think we should talk to the Prefects about _him_?" Lily asked.

"You-know-who?"

"Yeah, him"

"I think it would be beneficial for them to be kept informed but I don't think it's our place to talk to them about it. I think maybe we should ask Dumbledore to give them a briefing or something."  
"Good idea. We'll go see him tonight. I've got a meeting scheduled to discuss Halloween so we can do it then, if that's okay?"  
"Yeah, sure" James replied, although he felt a twinge of guilt. This meant that he would be late for Moony. But Padfoot could handle things on his own for a while, James supposed. They had been doing it for a while now and were pretty good at keeping Moony in check. Wormtail wasn't much help, but if it was a good night, they didn't really need both the stag and the dog to handle things - it was more just for their own amusement.

At that moment, the werewolf in question came through the door looking worn out and tired, but smiling all the same.

"Morning guys," he said through a yawn.

"Why so tired, Moony?" James asked, "It was Sirius, wasn't it?"  
"Yes. Going on and on about his silly crown and Wormtail and.. Things". Luckily for him, Lily and James ignored the ambiguity of 'things'.

"That bloody crown, I tell you what!" James contributed.

"Am I missing something?" Lily asked, eyebrow raised.

"Trust me, Lily, the crown is something you don't want to know about" Remus assured her.

"I'll take your word for it," she replied, as Abbott and Jenkins from Hufflepuff entered the room, followed by Marlene McKinnon and her counterpart Biggs. It seemed that everyone else was running a bit late.

"Oh well, let's start anyway," Lily announced, "So, who's interested in being on the committee for the Halloween Ball?"

* * *

AN - Sorry they didn't kiss. I couldn't have it happen too soon in the plot. there needs to be somewhere for it to go! 

thanks for all the lovely fantastic reviews you guys rock my world.

I;m also writing this at 3.18 in the morning (coz i cant sleep) and i have to get up in 3 hours for work (bakery - yay,not!) so i apologise if there's dodgey grammar or spelling

please review if you have time. and dont worry lily and james will kiss... eventually! xo


	16. Passing Notes in the Hospital Wing

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Harry Potter... but if it happens, I'll let you know, ok?

**AN - **A very Sirius-centric chapter, although I'm not really sure if I have his character down-pat yet. Also very short, so i'msorry about that. Enjoy it anyway!

* * *

**Chapter 15 - Notes in the Hospital Wing and Meaningless Chit-Chat:**

While Lily and James conducted their prefect meeting, Remus lay sleeping in bed preparing for the full moon that night. Peter was nowhere to be seen and Anna was sleeping off a mild hangover in her dormitory. Sirius, however, had slipped off after breakfast for a refreshing fly about the quidditch pitch. He used the time to clear his head (surprisingly, he didn't have a hangover) and spent his time thinking about the party the night before. He had nearly gotten together with one of the girls he had been entertaining, but had thought about it too much and had decided not to go through with it. This caused Sirius mild concern, because this wasn't a normal decision for him to make. 

_Why didn't I kiss that girl - Vicky was it? I'm Sirius Black, chick-magnet, what's my problem?_ As he was flying about, pondering this question, his mind wandered back to the events of yesterday's quidditch match. He kept replaying that horrible moment when Cat had fallen from her broom. _Thank Merlin Prongs was there to catch her,_ he thought to himself. After all, Cat was like a sister to him. They had spent a lot of time together on the quidditch pitch over the years, not to mention the occasional summer catch-up at the Potter's. _And there's no one I would rather argue with about quidditch, _he thought, smiling to himself. 

With this in mind, he decided to go and visit his team mate in the hospital wing, dashing off to borrow James' invisibility cloak first. Poppy really was incredibly strict about visiting hours. 

* * *

Notes in the Hospital Wing:

**Hey, it's me, Sirius!**

Hi Sirius, what are you doing here?

**Did you hit your head on that fall? I****'****m here to see you, stupid!**

Don't call the invalid stupid.

**Sorry, force of habit.**

Oh ha-ha.. Ouch, note to self: don't laugh, it hurts.

**I****'****d better go then.**

Don't flatter yourself, Black. I think I can contain myself around your unique brand of humour. 

**Wouldn****'****t bet on it.**

Where'd you get the cloak?

**It****'****s James****'****. He leant it to me coz there****'****s no way Pomfrey would let me in to see you. It****'****s just as well you didn****'****t injure your hand coz then we wouldn****'****t be able to write notes. **

Yeah, and I would die of boredom!

**So, how are you actually feeling?**

A bit better. I'm still a little dizzy, which is why Pomfrey won't let me out of bed, but apart from that I feel okay. 

**So you****'****ll be at training on Tuesday?**

Wouldn't miss it.

**Cool bananas. **

Cool bananas?

**Don****'****t mock me**

(Raises hands innocently)

**(Raises eyebrow in scepticism)**

Anyway, how was the party last night?

**Pretty boring.**

Get any action?

Well?

**Wouldn****'****t you like to know**

I'm bed-ridden and lonely; I have to live vicariously through somebody!

**A gentleman never kisses and tells.**

It's a very good thing you're not a gentlemen then, isn't it?

**Your words wound me!**

You'll get over it. So, out with the details Black, or I'll hex your invisible arse!

**No comment. However, James and Lily had a nearly kiss.**

You're joking!

**Nope, I****'****m being Sirius**

I said don't make me laugh!

**You thought that was funny?**

What can I say? I'm a sucker for puns. Continue - Lily, James..?

**Oh, right. They were a little tipsy****…**

I'm guessing you helped with that?

**Maybe****…**** Anyway, they were dancing, etcetera. I gave them a literal push in the right direction**

Really?

**Yeah. James needs all the help he can get. **

So true

**And then they nearly kissed, but Peter interrupted.**

The FOOL!

**I know, but it****'****s not like he did it on purpose**

What did he do?

**He got a bit****…**** carried away with that Agatha girl and they****…**** broke things in their moment of****…**** passion.**

Eww! 

**I know, I can****'****t get the image out of my head and it****'****s making me feel sick!**

I can only imagine!

**Trust me, you really don****'****t want to.**

So then Lily and James didn't kiss?

**No, but they were close.**

I wish Lily would hurry up and get over her hang-ups. Anyone can see they would be great together.

**Well, there****'****s only so much we can do to help. They****'****ll work it out eventually.**

It's funny how they can be so blind to something right in front of them. 

**Funny you should say that**

Really, why?

**Coz James and Remus both said something similar to me last night.**

Huh?

**Actually, they were saying something about how I should try being in a relationship for a change, and people won****'****t wait around forever. **

Who were they talking about?

**Don****'****t know**

Interesting

**God, now you sound like them too. Is there something everyone knows that I don****'****t know?**

No, I just think it's an interesting thing for them to have said that to you, Sirius Black, perennial ladies' man. 

**You and me both.**

Anyway, I'm actually a bit tired now, and if I'm not mistaken it's almost lunch time. 

**By golly, you****'****re right!**

By golly?

**It****'****s the hunger talking. Do you want me to bring you some food?**

That'd be nice. Hospital food's average and, well, in liquid form.

**How could they? Fear not, I will save you fair maiden.**

Thank-you kind sir. Until we meet again..

**See you soon, Cat. Feel better.**

Thanks Sirius.

* * *

"Who knew Sirius had a sensitive side?" Harry exclaimed out loud to himself. Harry knew his godfather had been a bit popular with the ladies, but he had no idea that he'd had... difficulties. This note (goodness knows how it got into James and Lily's things) proved that Sirius had not been quite as in control as he would've liked people to believe. In fact, from what he could gather from the note, Sirius and this Catherine Jones were rather similiar to Ron and Hermione. Harry chuckled. It had taken those two forever to get their act together. No doubt everyone else could see that Sirius and Catherine belonged together, it was just taking Sirius a while to work it out. 

_I wonder if she's out there somewhere?_ Harry thought to himself. He had heard ofa Hestia Jones, former member of the Order of the Pheonix, and Gwenog Jones, the Welsh captain of the Holyhead Harpies quidditch team. He would make a point of looking her up later. For now, he continued to riffle through the stack of papers, a small smile on his face. 

* * *

That night, Lily and James met with Professor Dumbledore to discuss the details of the proposed Halloween Ball. Overall the meeting was successful, as Dumbledore had effectively granted them creative freedom with the Ball. 

"So, do you think we should make it a dress-up occasion or a formal do?" Lily asked James on the way back to their rooms. 

"Well, consider that you are asking a marauder, so my answer will almost definitely be dress-up. But be warned, call it a costume ball and you're inviting insanity. But I think we should put it to a vote in our next meeting," James replied, walking quickly. 

"Good idea," Lily puffed, "Where's the fire?"  
"Huh?" James said, stopping and turning to face her.

"Why are you going so fast?" she demanded, quirking an eyebrow in his direction.

"Oh, err. It's a full moon tonight-"

"And Remus is away. What's that got to do with you?"  
"Umm," James said, trying to think of any excuse that wouldn't involve telling Lily that he hung out with a werewolf once a month or that he was an illegal animagus.

"Well, with Remus off Sirius only has Peter to hang out with. So I was going to go over and keep him company." _Good cover, James_he thought to himself.

"Oh, okay. Actually, I'll come with you back to the Gryffindor common room. I want to check up on Anna."  
"Cool. Let's go, Sirius gets very lonely," James insisted, hurrying off, Lily following with a small smile on her face. James was consequently forced to pack his invisibility cloak so as to slip past Lily in the Gryffindor common room and get out to the whomping willow. Lily could've sworn that when she and Anna were standing near the door discussing their revenge on Flint in hushed tones she felt something brush past her (but she saw no-one). James smiled to himself when this happened; it was probably as close to Lily as he would ever get, he reflected sadly. 

It was quite a challenge for him to get the willow to stop thrashing about (without Peter there to press the knot). But several minutes and a few choice bruises later, James was in the passage en route and broke into a run. He could hear howling in the distance. This was going to be one of those nights…

* * *

AN - sorry it's such a short chapter. It's because i had this and then a 'two weeks later' part, so i decided it was more logical to split it in two. I'm not going to write about the marauder's adventures in the shrieking shack yet because i don't think i could do it justice. Please review and tell me what you think! happy fanficcing :) 


	17. Pillow Fights and Truth or Dare?

**Disclaimer:** Nope, not yet

AN - Shorter than it felt when I was writing it. Mostly fluff and time-filler til I get to the ball. More Sirius/Cat and hopefully Lily/James awkwardness. Hope you like it. Please review! Also, happy easter to those of you who celebrate it :)

* * *

**Chapter 16 - Truth or Dare?**

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe we're getting a ball!" squealed Anna, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as she stood before the Gryffindor notice board. 

"Anna, that notice has been up for a fortnight. The ball's next week," Remus chipped in on his way past her. He headed over to the couch where Sirius and James were transfiguring one another's eyebrows (for homework, or so they claimed). 

"Yes, I know, I'm just so excited!" she said, following Remus bouncily, plopping down onto the cushy armchair opposite his. Lily and Cat came down from the girls dormitories at that moment, and joined the foursome in front of the fire. 

"Where've you two been, I was looking everywhere?" Anna asked the pair. 

"Oh, we were just studying for our arithmancy test tomorrow," Lily replied, "Sorry."

"That's tomorrow!?" James exclaimed, eyes wide, "Why didn't you remind me? I'd better go study," and with that he dashed off to the heads common room. 

"Since when does Prongs study?" Sirius asked Remus distastefully. 

"Hey, wait for me, James! I need your help with page seventy eight. Cat was useless," Lily said, giving Cat a mock glare. 

"It's not my fault that I was in the hospital wing when we learnt about that stuff," Cat replied, returning Lily's glare.  
"Whatever slacker, have fun guys. See you tomorrow," she said, following James out of the portrait hole.

"Well, they're getting on better these days," Anna remarked, "I wonder if they'll go to the ball together?"

"In James' dreams," Sirius scoffed.

"I don't know, Padfoot. They are Head Boy and Girl, they might be expected to go together," Remus suggested.

"Who are you guys going with?" Anna asked carefully. 

"No one as yet, but something will turn up," Sirius said confidently, flashing a grin towards Cat who rolled her eyes. 

"I've got no-one either, but Pete's going with that Agatha girl. The one from the party," Lupin said.

"Oh, eww, don't remind me," Sirius moaned. 

"Grow up, Black, it can't have been that bad," Cat said sardonically. 

"You weren't there, Jones. It was disgusting!"  
"I have to agree with Sirius, it was a bit… involved," Remus conceded.

"Well, well, well. Who would have thought, our Remus, a prude?" Anna joked. 

"I am not a prude!" Remus said indignantly, "I just object to violent public displays of affection."

"He's a prude," Anna stage whispered to Cat, who laughed. 

"I am not!"  
"Stop pouting, Moony, it doesn't suit you," Sirius smirked. Remus merely huffed, muttering to himself words sounding like 'prude.. I'll show them…what do they know'. 

"If I was a female version of Sirius, I would say to you, Remus, prove it," Anna said.

"It's lucky for me that you're not a female version of Sirius then, isn't it?" Remus retorted.

"No, I'm with Anna on this one, Lupin," Cat said, "I think you should prove it."  
"And how do you propose I do that?"

"Oh, um, let's see?" Sirius said sarcastically, "Obviously it means you have to kiss someone, preferably a girl, on the lips."  
"Nah, really? Thanks for clearing that one up Padfoot." 

"Okay then, I dare you," said Sirius.

"I don't have to do anything just coz you dare me, Padfoot," Remus replied. 

"You do if we're playing a game of truth or dare," Anna said. 

"Well, we're not. Besides, I should be studying for our arithmancy test. So should you, Cat."

"Yeah, I should but I don't really get it anyway. I think I'm going to have to see Professor Ili tomorrow to ask for help. We have a spare period before lunch."  
"Okay, I'll come with you. I spose I can't really be bothered to study right now anyway."  
"Good, now that's settled, let's go annoy Lily and James," Sirius suggested. 

"I agree. We can go play truth or dare in their common room," Anna said excitedly.

"What do you say, Lupin? It's not like we're going to get any study done anyway," Cat said. Remus sighed heavily. 

"I don't suppose you're going to let me say no, are you?"

"No," the other three chorused, hurrying out of the common room to avoid the Fat Lady's lecture on curfew.

* * *

"But I just don't get the addition of theta and omega, because it can't equal that," Lily said irritably, pointing at the chart in their book. 

"But it is. See, if you divide the two by five, for the character number, you get the right answer," James said patiently. 

"Oh, so if you're working out part a, you always divide by five for the character number?"  
"Yup, exactly," James grinned at her, "I knew you'd get it eventually."  
"Yeah, rub it in. Maths was never my strong point, okay?" Lily said, packing up her quills and parchment now that she understood page seventy-eight. 

"Then how are you so good at potions then?"

"I just am, I suppose. Natural talent and all that," she grinned. James grinned back at her across their small table. For a moment, they were just looking at each other, neither one saying anything to break the silence. Then James spoke softly (if a bit nervously). 

"Lily," he began, "I was wondering, you know, if maybe… I mean, as friends, if you wanted to…umm, would you like to-" but he was interrupted by a loud knock on their portrait, followed by a loud, "Oi, Prongs, let us in before we get caught." James sighed almost inaudibly, and got up to let Sirius in. It was a surprise when he was followed by Remus, Cat and Anna. 

"Hey guys, what are you all doing here?" Lily asked, confusedly. 

"We got bored with studying and decided that there would be nothing better to do than visit our two favourite Heads," Remus said.

"Yeah, that and we wanted to play a game of truth or dare and four people aren't enough for a proper game," Anna said, settling down on the carpet in front of the fire. 

"What if we had been studying? Or sleeping?" Lily asked, hands on hips. 

"We would have had to convince you that hanging out with us is more fun, wouldn't we?" Sirius said, "Now let's get this show on the road."  
"It is a school day tomorrow, Padfoot," James asserted.

"Yes, Prongs, and it's only nine thirty. Grow up. Now, I need a bottle and we need to sit in a circle." So the group arranged themselves in a circle in front of the crackling fire, and James transfigured a quill into a bottle, placing it in the middle of them.

"Okay, since this was your idea Anna, I think you should go first," Remus said evilly. 

"Fine," she replied, spinning the bottle, "Well, would you look at that? It landed on you Remus."

"Bugger," he said, "Okay, I choose truth."  
"Fine, you asked for it. Who was the last girl you kissed?" Anna asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not telling you that!" Remus cried indignantly, "That's private!"

"Moony, you chose truth, you have to answer the question," James said fairly. 

"I think I'd rather take the dare, then," he replied bluntly. 

"Good, a chance to prove you're not a prude," Anna said, "I dare you to kiss….Cat."

"What?" Remus paled, "That's not fair!"  
"Hey, what's wrong with me?" Cat exclaimed.

"Oh, nothing, it's just I thought you might not want to," Remus said sheepishly, glancing at Sirius whose expression was unreadable. Lily glanced and James, eyebrows raised. He merely smiled knowingly back at her. 

"Well, it's a dare so you have to. And I don't really mind, as long as you've brushed your teeth," she joked. 

"Okay then," Remus said, leaning across the circle towards Cat, "I apologise in advance for this."  
"Hold on," Anna interrupted, "Because this is a test to show that you're not a prude, it has to be a proper snog, okay?". Remus merely sighed in resignation. He seemed to be doing that a lot this evening. 

And so he and Cat kissed, for longer than expected, although there was no (visible) tongue. James clapped appreciatively and Lily wolf whistled. Sirius attempted a smile, which turned out more like a grimace, while Anna seemed to scrutinise the techniques being employed by her friends. 

"Gee, Remus, you're not half bad," Cat said, smiling at him in a friendly way. 

"Thanks," he said, "See, I'm not a prude."  
"Okay, okay, point proven. Just spin the bottle," Sirius said shortly. Remus took the time to raise his eyebrows at his friend before spinning the bottle, which landed on Cat.

"Okay, Cat, truth or dare?"

"Dare, I think."  
"Okay… I dare you to wear your pyjamas to breakfast tomorrow."

"You're on. I have nothing to hide," Cat announced, before spinning the bottle. It landed on Sirius.

"Okay, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Sirius said, "Bet you all thought I would choose dare, didn't you?"  
"Okay, okay. Why didn't you kiss Vicky at the after party?"  
"How'd you hear about that?"  
"Grapevine."

"Well, I don't want to answer. Dare, please."  
"Okay, I dare you to answer the question," Cat said cheekily. 

"Hey, that's not fair. Guys, tell her that's not fair!" Sirius said.

"Sorry mate, but a marauder never backs down from a dare," James said, ever the voice of reason.

"Fine. I didn't kiss her because I was thinking about someone else at the time," Sirius mumbled, looking at the floor.

"Really, who?" Anna asked.

"You'll never find out, coz you only get to ask one question, so there!" Sirius said, poking out his tongue very maturely.

"Fine, just spin the bottle, Black."  
"Lily! Truth or dare?"  
"Umm, truth?"  
"Okay, have you ever thought about our fearless leader, here," he inclined his head towards James, "Without his shirt on?"

Lily blushed dark red, while Cat stood up for her. "Black, you have all the tact and sensitivity of a Viking Attack. Ask her a proper question."  
"It is a proper question, isn't it Prongs?"  
"No comment," James replied looking at the carpet in front of him, trying not to appear too hopeful.

"Yes," Lily whispered to the floor, "I have."  
"Good, that wasn't too hard, now was it, Lily-flower?" Sirius grinned, nudging her with his elbow. She chanced a glance at James, who was having a very hard time keeping his smile from growing. 

"Let's move on, shall we?" she said in a high voice, reaching forward and spinning the bottle. 

"Okay Anna, truth or dare?"  
"Truth."  
"What were you doing that time when you ran off after we visited Cat in the hospital wing?"  
"I told you I couldn't tell you that, Lils," Anna said angrily.

"Sorry, I forgot. Then your dare is… to go to breakfast in your jimjams with Cat tomorrow morning," Lily said, feeling bad for making her friend uncomfortable. 

"Cool, we can be bed-head buddies. Wait, that came out wrong," Cat said, as the guys burst out laughing. Anna spun the bottle and it landed on Remus.

"You again, Remus!"  
"I choose truth," he said bravely.

"Is there a girl that you fancy at the moment at Hogwarts?" she asked a little breathlessly, and suddenly Lily realised why her usually 'free-loving' friend hadn't been on a date with another boy all term. 

"Are all your questions to do with relationships?" Remus asked tiredly. 

"Yes."

"Okay then. Yes, there is," he said, raising his chin a little, as if challenging her to ask him who it is. This wasn't the reaction he received, however.

"Oh, okay. Your turn to spin the bottle," she said simply. It landed on the only person who had not had a turn - James. 

"I choose dare," he said. He couldn't risk accidentally saying anything about Lily that he would regret later. 

"Okay, you're in on the pyjama dare. And you can't change what you normally wear to bed, either," Remus warned, pointing a finger at him.

"Yeah, Prongs, I'm sure the whole school will just adore your quidditch boxers," Sirius grinned.

"Are you serious, that's all you wear to bed?" Lily said, shocked.  
"Don't pretend you haven't thought about it, Evans," James said before he could stop himself. A year ago this would have earned him a lovely slap, but now all he got was a pillow in the face. 

"Oi!" he yelled, before grabbing his own cushion and throwing it with equal force across the circle. Lily ducked, however, and the pillow hit Cat in the face instead. 

"Oh, you are so going to pay for that, Potter," she said. And soon the whole game of truth or dare had been forgotten; its' participants too busy enjoying the best pillow fight Hogwarts has ever seen. By ten thirty, two teams had been formed, girls versus boys, each having constructed a makeshift fort out of lounge chairs and pillows (suddenly they seemed to be in plentiful supply). There where pillows flying pell-mell, not to mention a few choice hexes here and there. All in all, it was a very entertaining night for the six Gryffindors, four of whom left hastily upon realising they were up an hour after curfew, two of whom were left to tidy up the mess that their friends had left behind. 

"Well, that was pretty good fun, wasn't it?" James said, bending over to pick up a pillow near the fire. 

"Yeah, I was surprised, actually. I wasn't really in the mood for a good old fashioned pillow fight before. I feel about four years old," Lily smiled, rearranging the furniture with a swish of her wand. 

"We got you guys so badly!" James chuckled. 

"I beg to differ, thank you very much. It is clear that we whipped your marauding behinds," she retaliated.

"I call a rematch," James said, smiling in a way that made Lily very nervous.  
"James," she said slowly, "Don't you d-" and a pillow hit her in the face. She squealed, ducking behind the couch and lobbing a pillow over the top back at him. He came towards her, pillow in each hand. 

"Prepare to loose, Evans," he growled, jumping over the couch.

"Not likely," she yelled, whacking him in the face with a scarlet cushion. This took James by surprise, and he lost his balance, tripping over a footstool. He landed sprawled out on his back. Somehow, in all the commotion, Lily had lost her balance too, and had fallen (surprise, surprise) right on top of him, with a small 'oomph'.

_Oh no,_ thought Lily, _not again!_

_No, no, no,_ thought James, _silence staring into the eyes makes things awkward. Quick, break the silence!  
_"Ah, Lily," he began.

"Sorry, I'll get off," she said, blushing. 

"That wasn't what I was going to say."  
"Oh?"  
"No, but this isn't exactly comfortable either," he lied. She rolled off of him, blushing slightly, "Sorry," she said. 

"No worries, but as I was saying…" he rolled onto his side, and leaned on his elbow so that he could look at her a bit better. 

"I was trying to ask you before if, as a friend, you would like to go to the Halloween Ball with me?" he said quickly and all in one breath. 

"Of course," Lily replied, a little too fast, "I mean, we're Head Boy and Girl, it makes sense."  
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," James said. 

"Great," she smiled and got up, "Well, I think I'm going to go to bed now. We have that test tomorrow, and I want to get full marks."

"Good thinking. I'll see you tomorrow morning," he replied, heading towards his staircase.

"Yup. At breakfast, in your pyjamas," she smirked. James just groaned and proceeded up his stairs. 

"Just you wait, Evans, one day you'll get what's coming to you!" he called. As he was opening his bedroom door, an enchanted pillow zoomed up from behind him and pushed him in the back.

"Not likely," came Lily's laughing voice. James just grinned. What a night!

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary:**  
I'm going to the ball with James.

This is a problem.

How am I supposed to treat him as a friend if we're going to a BALL together? That's not easy to do. Especially if every time we touch, I get tingles. 

Oh, get a grip, Lily! He's just a boy. A boy that happens to be a close friend. There's nothing more to it than that. Go to sleep. You need your energy for tomorrows test!

**James' Occlumency Diary:**

I asked Evans to the Halloween Ball.

She said yes. 

As a friend. 

But she said yes.

I could die of happiness. 

But I don't want to, coz then I'd miss the ball.

What am I going to wear?

…

I sound like a girl, I must need sleep.

Goodnight!

* * *

Review please! 


	18. Halloween Balls and Pairing Off

**Disclaimer:** Still not mine!

AN - This is my longest chapter ever ever ever! I suppose that's what an easter long weekend does for a fanficcer. Nearly 7000 words - feel free to bow down before my greatness. lol, sorry, just very happy that i've finally written this chapter. Please take note of my AN at the end of the fic. Enjoy!!

* * *

**Chapter 17 - Halloween Balls and Pairing Off:**

The following week flew by in a flurry of cold mornings, arithmancy tests and pyjama-filled breakfasts (well, only one to be exact - it had been very well received), and before anyone knew it Halloween had arrived.

Lily was stressing out because she was worried about the organisation (or lack thereof) of the Halloween Ball. James was stressing out because Lily was stressing out. Sirius was having a minor panic attack because he didn't have a date to the ball. Peter was having a major panic attack because he did have someone to take and had no idea how to deal with such an unusual and unfamiliar occurrence. Anna was worried that she didn't have a thing to wear. Cat was worried because she was having a bad hair day. Remus, on the other hand, was supremely unconcerned about the whole thing, and frankly thought his friends' behaviour quite entertaining.

"I just can't believe that I haven't got a date yet," Sirius exclaimed to the guys through a mouthful of scrambled eggs, "I mean, me! Any one of these girls would swoon at the chance to date me, right?"

"Maybe you're loosing your touch, mate," James joked, earning himself a punch in the arm.

"Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say, James," Remus said with a smile.

"Maybe they're all just intimidated by your charm and good looks," Peter suggested over his glass of pumpkin juice.

"You're such a suck-up, Wormtail. You're just telling him what he wants to hear," James scolded.

"No. You're wrong, Prongs. Wormtail here is a shining example of what a best friend should be," replied Sirius, "He's the only one with any true loyalty around here, aren't you, Pete?".

Peter merely nodded and returned to his breakfast sausage.

"Well, I happen to disagree with Wormtail," James began, "I think that, yes your looks and/or reputation might be intimidating to some girls. But I think the reason you haven't got a date yet is because you haven't asked anyone."

"You make a very good point, Prongs, I haven't asked anyone."

"Well, the ball's tonight so you might want to work on that."

"What about you Moony?" Sirius asked, "Got a hot date?"

James snorted into his juice.

"Hey, what's so funny about me having a hot date?" Remus asked, looking hurt.

"Nothing, it's just that you wouldn't have a hot date. If you were taking someone, she would be a quiet, reserved bookworm with a secret passion for Herbology or something," James replied with a grin on his face.

"So you don't think I could manage to take someone interesting?" Remus argued angrily.

"No, Moony, that's not what I meant! I just mean that I have trouble picturing you with… well," James was unsure how to finish that sentence, so he just left it hanging.

"Oh really? I'll show you," Remus declared, rising out of his seat and strolling down the table to where Lily, Cat and Anna were seated.

"Morning ladies. Anna, have you got anyone to take to the ball tonight?"

"Nope, I'm flying solo. Why?"

"Want to go with me?"

"As friends?" she asked tentatively. Remus looked at her quizzically.

"Sure?" he replied.

"Yeah, okay," she said smiling at him, "See you in the entrance hall at seven." Remus nodded agreement, and returned to his seat with the marauders, a smug look upon his face.

"And you didn't think I could go out with a 'hot' girl," he smirked.

"Firstly, since when did you start doing things to prove yourself to us? And secondly, you think Anna is hot!"

"What? No, I didn't mean it like that! I just meant.. Oh, never mind. Explaining myself never seems to get me anywhere with you lot," he said, burying his face behind the _Prophet_ to cover his growing blush.

"Padfoot, what are you going to do now that we all have dates but you?" James asked, hoping that Sirius could put two and two together and get four. He really was usually more intelligent than this.

"Fine, fine, I'll go find someone. She'd better be a looker," he muttered to himself as he stood up.

_I can't think of anyone I'd like to take,_ he thought bitterly. That had been happening to Sirius a lot recently. He had been finding it difficult to get himself interested in a girl. No, he didn't suspect that he was turning gay (although this had crossed his mind at one point - he had ultimately decided that he preferred females) but he was concerned that this lack of interest would result in him dying old and alone.

Then he spotted the girls and a thought hit him. _Lily's going with James, Anna's going with Remus. It would make sense if Cat and I went together. Actually, I don't mind the idea of taking her…_

With renewed resolve, Sirius walked over and sat down next to Lily, grabbing a slice of her marmalade-d toast and taking a bite. Anna and Cat seemed to be engrossed in an in-depth conversation and didn't look like surfacing for at least ten minutes.

"Mmm, that's some tasty stuff you've got there, Lils. It tastes like cardboard," he said, wrinkling up his nose and replacing the toast on her plate. She fixed him with her falsest of false smiles and replied, "Oh, and what a pleasure it is to see you again Mr Black. Please, please help yourself to anything you like. Some juice, maybe, my newspaper, my mail… first born child," she offered.

"Huh?" Sirius replied, clearly never having read Rapunsel. Lily just sighed.

"What do you want Sirius?" she asked tiredly.

"Funny you should ask, Lily-light-of-my-life. Actually, I was wondering if you all have dates to the ball tonight?" he asked as casually as possible.

"You know I'm going with James, and Remus only just invited Anna. So you already know that we do have partners," Lily said sceptically, lowering her voice.

"Okay, so that was my incredibly unsubtle way of asking if Cat has a partner. Sorry!" Sirius retorted, snappily, glancing at Cat who apparently hadn't been listening.

"You want to know if Cat's going with anyone to the ball?" Lily stated simply.

"Well, yes," Sirius said, looking back at Lily and speaking in a low voice, "I don't want to make a fool of myself in case she's already going with someone."

"Actually, she hasn't mentioned anyone, so I don't really know. I think you're just going to have to bite the bullet and ask her yourself," Lily replied frankly.

"Bite the what?" Sirius asked.

"Never mind," Lily sighed, remembering that Sirius didn't take Muggle Studies, "Just ask her, okay?"

"Fine," Sirius replied grumpily, turning to face the girl in question.

"Hey Cat, are you going to the ball tonight?" he asked, with what he hoped was casual tone.

"Yeah I am, are you?" she replied, nonchalantly.

"Yep, wouldn't miss a party," he joked, "So, uh, who are you going with?"  
_  
Please say you haven't got a date yet!_

"I'm going with Jonathon Bourke, and you?" she asked politely.

"Oh, just some girl," he replied, flashing a charming smile, "See you ladies later." He got up and walked out of the hall, hoping to magically happen upon a date on his way.

"Well, that was odd," Cat remarked, watching Sirius leave.

"Not really," Anna replied, before she could stop herself.

"Huh? How come?" Cat demanded, setting down her fork.

"It's just that…" Lily began, looking at Anna for confirmation. Anna shook her head slightly.

"Never mind," Lily said.

"Come on, guys, what's with Sirius? Just tell me!" Cat said, frowning, "Is he sick?"

"No, of course not!"

"Am I sick?"

"No, it's just… Anna just tell her what you told me," Lily said.

"Fine. I told Lily last night that I think that Black has a crush on you," Anna said reluctantly.

"What? That's ludicrous!" Cat said, "He wouldn't like me in that way, I'm not…" she frowned, "Well, I don't know, but that's not possible."

"That's what I said last night, but now, after that, I'm inclined to think Anna's onto something. He as good as told me that he hasn't got a date for tonight and that he was going to ask you. But you said you were going with Bourke, so he pretended he already had a date," Lily explained. Cat merely gaped.

"Did he really say he was going to ask Cat?" Anna asked.

"Yup. You two were too busy talking about something else. Actually, what were you two talking about?"

"Oh, just History homework," Anna replied, for Cat still appeared to be speechless.

* * *

"Padfoot, hurry up. I can't afford to be late," James yelled through the thick door to the Marauder's dormitory.

"Just a minute," came Sirius' voice.

"He's been in there getting ready all afternoon," Remus moaned, "I'm starting to think he won't ever come out."

"We have to go, though!" James exclaimed, "Lily will kill me if we're late!"

"Calm down Prongs, we've still got," he consulted his watch, "Merlin, ten minutes! You'd better go, I'll wait for Padfoot."

"Thanks Moony, I'll see you later. Great costume, by the way," James grinned. Remus was dressed in a white tee-shirt, leather jacket and pants, with his hair slicked back in a James Dean/John Travolta style.

"Thanks," Remus grinned, "You look pretty flash, yourself."

* * *

"Look, Anna, your hair's fine. Stop fussing!" Cat called through the bathroom door that joined onto their dormitory. Lily had decided to get ready with the girls, and was currently threading flowers through her hair.

"But this skirt isn't sitting quite right," Anna complained, stepping out of the bathroom tugging at the baby-blue circle skirt, "And who wears trainers and socks with a skirt?"

"Characters out of Grease do, good-Sandy."

"Whatever, this boofy hair isn't working for me either!"

"Just relax, you look gorgeous," Cat said, adjusting her regency dress.

"So do you, Cat. Very Elizabeth Bennet," Lily commented, "What's Jon wearing?"

"I think he's going as Lancelot. We don't match, but that's okay coz we're not going as a 'couple'. At least, I didn't think we were," she replied, frowning slightly.

"James and I aren't a couple, obviously, but we're matching coz we have to officially open the ball," Lily remarked.

"So what are you again?" Anna asked.

"I'm Queen Titania and he's Oberon."

"Who?"

"The fairy king and queen from _A Midsummer Night's Dream_? Don't any of you read Shakespeare?"

"That dead bloke who Remus is always raving about? Nope," Cat said.

"I thought James wanted to go as Han Solo and you as Princess Leia from that muggle film?" Anna said.

"He did, but I didn't think the costume he suggested I wear was… appropriate," Lily smiled.

"You mean that cute little bikini number? Fair enough. So King and Queen of the fairies, ey?"

"Yep. I wanted to be traditional but interesting. Do you guys think the dress is long enough?" Lily asked, pulling at the hem of her frock.

It was a light green lacy thing, one shouldered, sprinkled with enchanted flowers and gauzy strips of material. It flowed on an angle just below Lily's knees and was flimsy and insubstantial. In fact, it reminded everyone of an invisibility cloak. Except that it wasn't invisible. She had matched it with some pale ballet-slipper shoes and a garland of flowers in her softly curled hair.

"Nope, I think it's just right," said Anna, "Better than my costume at any rate."

"Stop your whining," Cat said, "Let's go, or you're gonna be late Lily."

"I'll go and meet James and see you guys later. Good luck with your dates," Lily yelled over her shoulder, bounding down the stairs.

* * *

James stood at the foot of the stairs in the entrance hall, waiting for Lily to arrive. They had to go and double check all the decorations and whatnot in the Hall before letting everyone else in. He was just adding some 'finishing touches' to the massive double doors (orange and black streamers) when he heard a noise from the top of the stairs. He turned around and saw Lily hurrying down the stairs, eyes downcast so that she didn't trip over her own feet. James literally lost the ability to breath at this point.

_She looks so beautiful,_ he thought to himself. Her auburn curls bounced gently about her face as she hurried towards him. She looked up and saw him staring at her. Of course she was taken aback by his staring, but her look of shock quickly turned into one of appreciation as she grinned broadly.

"James, you look fabulous!" she exclaimed, admiring his tight-fitting dark green pants and cloak, fixed about his neck with some decorative ivy (he was King of the fairies, after all). He wore a loose white shirt (for modesty's sake) that was undone about half way.  
"Thanks. I feel like the world's biggest berk, but as long as I look good," he said.

"Should we go inside and double check everything's ready?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, spose so. Oh, and Lily?"

"Yes?"

"You look beautiful," he breathed, producing a small white lily from behind his back and presenting it to her, "But I think this," he gestured to the lily, "Should go here," and he placed it behind her ear so that her hair wouldn't flop in her face. She touched it gently, as if surprised to find it there.

"Thanks James," she said in a soft voice. And there it was again. That silent-staring-into-each-others-eyes thing. Thankfully it was interrupted by McGonagall, who called out to them from across the hall.

"Potter, Evans, could you come inside for a moment? We need to go over the arrangements for the evening." They complied quickly and followed her into the hall, where they triple checked that the decorations were secure and looking fabulous (James rather liked the dancing suits of armour, whereas Lily preferred the spooky story-telling Jacko lanterns).

The house tables had been pushed back against the walls and were covered in snacks and drinks of the Halloween variety. Apart from the suits of armour and the carved out pumpkins, there were fake spiders and assorted creepy-crawlies, enchanted fog rolling in around the feet of the tables, and later that evening there was to be a display by the Headless Hunt. The residing Hogwarts ghosts were acting as hosts, offering spooky stories and pumpkin pasties to the students.

Within half an hour the hall was full to the brim with costumed witches and wizards talking, eating and dancing. The live band (the Hairy Hippogriffs) were positioned on the raised teachers platform, and were belting out loud rock tunes to which the students danced enthusiastically. Dumbledore had already made a brief speech at the start of the evening, thanking James, Lily and the prefects for all their hard work. Many other students had since approached them, thanking them for such a fun event.

Lily and James stood off to the side of the room, admiring their handiwork.

"This is fantastic," Lily said over the music, "It looks like everyone's having a really good time!"  
"Yeah, it's great," James replied, "I want to see our friends, though, I don't even know what Sirius is coming as."  
"You guys look great," called a Ravenclaw girl in a vampire outfit, "Love the matching outfits!"

"Well, what do you know, people think we look good," Lily said to James after calling out her thanks, "And you wanted to go as Star Wars characters."  
"I still think you would look great in that bikini," James muttered, scanning the crowd.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Hey look, there's Remus and Anna."

Lily followed James' gaze to the middle of the dance floor where their two friends were pushing through the crowd towards them.

"Oi, Moony, over here!" James called, grinning.

"Don't you two make quite the couple," Lily remarked, "I love the whole 1950s thing you've got going."  
"What can I say, we're just peachy together," Remus joked, not noticing the faint blush that appeared on Anna's cheeks.

"So are you guys gonna dance, or what?" Remus asked.

"We were waiting to see the others and what they're wearing before we joined in the fun," Lily explained.

"Well, if you're looking for Peter, he's over by that Irish suit of armour, snogging Agatha senseless," Anna replied with a crinkled nose.

"In that case, I'm glad we didn't see him," Lily said, ignoring James miming vomiting into a bucket behind her.

"Hey look, there's Padfoot," James said suddenly, pointing towards the doors. Sirius was strolling in, cocky grin on face, random girl on his arm, wearing what could only be described as 'Mr Darcy' clothing. He was dressed in a regency style outfit associated with a Jane Austen novel; high waisted pants, unbuttoned shirt, dark jacket and shiny black boots. With his dark hair flopping casually in his face, he was the picture of charm and sophistication.

"Who's that girl?" Lily asked.

"I think that her name's Freya. She's a Ravenclaw sixth-year," Remus supplied.

"Yeah, she's in our Astronomy class. She looks nice," Anna said, admiring this Freya's own regency dress in a nice mauve material.

"And Padfoot's putting the moves on her. She'll probably have a good night," remarked James (who received a light slap on the arm from Lily).

"Lucky girl, she's got someone that interested in her," Anna said pointedly. Remus, from his position behind her, raised his eyebrows in a curious expression.

"I don't know if he's that interested, she was a last minute decision," Lily said, frowning.

"Well, now that we've seen everyone, let's go dance," James suggested.

"Okay, I spose we'll see Cat later," Lily agreed, grabbing his hand and leading him out into the throng of people. Remus, noticing this (and James' bemused expression) gave James a thumbs up and Anna winked suggestively. James suddenly felt a surge of courage in his chest and followed Lily with a pronounced spring in his step.

* * *

"So, Lancelot, want to dance?" Cat asked Jon, nudging him in the chest. They had just entered the Hall, albeit half an hour late, and were scanning the crowd for their friends.

"Yeah, why not?" he replied, in good humour, leading her onto the dance floor. Daggy dancing ensued, with lots of giggling, but when Cat spotted Sirius across the dance floor - engaged in a game of tongue hockey with a beautiful brunette - all the fun of the evening seemed to evaporate. Seeing Cat's smile disappear, Jon followed her gaze and saw the cause of her dismay. He sighed inwardly before speaking.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"We're friends, right?" Jon asked.

"Of course."

"But just friends, yeah?"

"Look, Jon, I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea-" Cat began apologetically.

"No, it's okay. I understand. All I'm saying is if we're just friends, then why don't you tell him," he jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Sirius, "how you feel?"

"How I feel?"

"Yes. I know that look, Cat. Admittedly it's a look that's never been directed at me, but I know what it means. You like him.. More than friends."

"But he's Sirius," Cat said vaguely.

"Exactly. That's why it's not a surprise. Also, that's why you need to tell him. In case you haven't noticed, when it comes to 'feelings' he's kind of clueless," Jon said simply.

"That's a good point," Cat said fairly, "But I don't want to ruin their evening. How about we go find the others and get something to eat?"

"Sounds like a plan," Jon smiled, "As long as you promise to help me find a nice Gryffindor to snog later."  
Cat laughed, "Deal."

"Come on, James, it's not that hard."

"Yes it is, Lily, I just can't do it!"

"Look, this goes here and you step there. Piece of cake," Lily said with an air of forced patience.

"You know, I didn't think anything could top Sirius trying to operate a muggle toaster, but Lily trying to teach a sober James to dance is a clear winner," Remus said chuckling.

"I think in comparison to our dancing they look especially stupid," Anna remarked. Remus nodded in agreement, acknowledging that their unique brand of 'swing' dancing, reminiscent of couples from the 50s, was far superior to the awkward shuffle that Lily and James had going on.

"That's it, I give up," Lily said dramatically.

"Finally, now we can eat," James grinned, "Shall we?" he offered his arm to Lily, who glared and grudgingly took it. Together the foursome, joined by Cat and Jon, moved towards a table and filled their plates with food. They then proceeded to a small circular table set in between a suit of armour and a window, arguing about which was more disgusting, a blood-flavoured lollipop or Drooble's latest 'Halloween-flavoured' gum. The lollipop won.

The six of them were polishing off their snacks, listening to a spooky story from one of the Jacko lanterns, when Cat glanced over to the dance floor to see Sirius standing alone, looking at her. It was one of those moments when she could feel someone's eyes on her back, and lo and behold, they belonged to Sirius. When she caught him staring, he quickly turned away, searching the crowd for Freya who seemed to have disappeared. She smiled to herself slightly, excused herself politely from the table (everyone was too involved in the horror story to really notice her departure) and made her way over to a now flustered-looking Sirius.

"Evening Black, who're you looking for?" Cat said friendlily.

"I was just looking for my date, err…"

"Freya, I think is the name you're looking for," she supplied. Sirius blushed with embarrassment.

"I knew that Jones. What do you take me for?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Cat smiled.

"Fair point," Sirius said, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It flopped back automatically. Cat reached up and brushed it away again, without even thinking. Her hand lingered probably longer than was necessary while she and Sirius shared their own gaze-into-each-others'-eyes moment.

"Sorry, I…erm," Cat said, dropping her gaze, "I just came to check that you were having an alright time, and you are, so I'm going to be going back over there now."

"Are you and Bourke having a good time?" Sirius asked in a strained voice.

"Yeah, he's great fun to be around. Hope you have a nice night with Freya," she said hurrying off.

* * *

**Inside Cat's head:**  
_Oh Merlin, I __do__ like him like that! Why? Why, why, why, why, why? _

_Of all the guys I could have fallen for I choose the one who's insufferably arrogant, the one who's the most sought after guy in Hogwarts, the one who I constantly bicker with like an annoying sibling._

_What's wrong with me?_

_Just ignore it and it will go away. Go have fun with Jon! He's a good friend. And eat something, I'm still hungry!_

**Inside Sirius' head:**

_No! No, no, no, no, no!  
Why would I get a crush on Cat? Surely it's just the convenience thing again. Her friends are my friends. Heck, Cat and I are friends. We wouldn't want to wreck that, would we? No!  
And she's going out with Jonathon Bourke! I haven't got a chance._

_Maybe I could persuade James to kick Bourke off the quidditch team. See how she likes him then! _

_No, wait, that's wrong. Stop thinking about it - pull yourself together man!_

_Just ignore it and it will go away. Go have a good time with Freya - she's a good kisser, and intelligent too. I wonder why she decided to come to the ball with me..?_

_Doesn't matter, just forget about Cat. And eat something, I'm starving!_

* * *

Cat returned to the table just in time for the chilling last words of the horror story. This amused her because the group had been so frightened by the tale that they were all huddled together; Anna wedged between Jon and Remus, Remus' arms around her shoulders, James protectively wrapping his arms around Lily who had her hands on them, fingers tight on the thin white shirt sleeves.  
"Ahem," Cat cleared her throat and the group turned to look at her. Snapping out of their daze they all hastily moved apart from one another, each trying to pretend that they hadn't just been wetting their pants in fear.

"Did the mean wittle pumpkin scawre you?" Cat teased, before Anna jabbed her in the ribs.

"Ouch!"

"Serves you right!" Anna said, poking her again.

"Have you noticed that you and Padfoot are matching?" James asked Cat, eyebrow raised.

"Huh?"

"You're both doing that whole _Pride and Prejudice_ thing. It's kinda cute," Lily agreed.

"Not like we did it on purpose. We didn't even come together," Cat pointed out.

"I think that's the point, Cat," Jon chipped in, "Hey, isn't that Sirius' date? Oi, Freya!" he called out. "Excuse me, guys, I'll be back later," he said, winking at Cat before following the mauve dress which was heading out into the corridor.

Minutes earlier:

"Hey, Sirius, can we chat for a bit?" Freya asked, returning to her partner with two glasses of punch. She had seen him chatting to Catherine Jones, and decided that now was probably the best time to broach the subject of 'them'.

"Sure, let's go over there," Sirius pointed to the opposite side of the hall to where his friends were sat. When they had seated themselves at a small table for two, Freya began to speak.

"I know when you asked me this morning it was because you had no-one else to take-" she began awkwardly. Sirius tried to interrupt, but she held up her hand.

"And that's fine. I understand that you didn't want to come alone. And I've had fun, I really have. You're a great guy and an excellent kisser," at which point Sirius grinned in appreciation, "But we both know that this was just a one-off thing, right?"

"Yeah, I spose," Sirius said, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I was just thinking that if there's any chance for you to be with someone you care about, tonight would be a good time to take the plunge, as it were," she explained.

"Why do you say that?"

"Mars is in the fifth house of Venus," Freya said simply.

"Oh, o-kay," Sirius replied, eyebrows raised.

Freya just laughed, "I thought you'd say that. But trust me, if you are thinking of taking an existing relationship to the next level, tonight's the night."

"Are you sure that doesn't relate to our relationship?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows.

"You know what I mean, Black," Freya said with a fake glare.

"Okay, so where does this leave us?"

"Where does this leave us? You sound like such a girl!"

"Oi! This is Sirius 'ladies man' Black you're talking to."

"I know, that's what confuses me so much."

"Oh, ha-ha. Very funny!"

"I know, I was a born comedian," she grinned.

"No, but I'm being serious-"

"I know!"

"Stop making bad jokes!"

"Sorry, bad habit."

"Anyway, where does this leave us?"

"Still friends, I spose, and partners in astronomy."

"Okay… What about for tonight?"

"No more snogging, if that's what you're getting at," she warned.

"Not at all. I mean, what are you going to do if I'm off taking relationships to new levels? I don't want to spoil your evening."

"Don't worry about me. I was thinking about going up to the astronomy tower anyway and completing that star chart Emmett set us," she replied, "Have a nice night, Sirius."

"You too, Freya. And thanks for being a great mate," he replied, waving her off. He sat there for a minute, deciding what to do next…

Back at the table:

"Anna, do you want to go dance some more?" Remus asked.

"Sure thing," she agreed, "You sure have a lot of energy tonight, Remus."

"What can I say? Something about Halloween brings out the best in a man," he grinned, taking her hand gently and pulling her away.

"Aww, that's so cute. They should get together," remarked Cat.

"Anna and Lupin?" James asked incredulously.

"I spose they would make a kinda cute couple," Lily said, "Reserved bookworm meets former kissing-crown-owning witch. It would be a nice twist on the usual pairings."

"I concur," Cat said.

"You girls, it's always gossip, gossip, gossip," said James.

"Better than you boys; it's always quidditch, quidditch, quidditch," retorted Lily with a roll of the eyes.

"What's wrong with quidditch?" came Sirius' voice from behind them.

"Nothing, it's just that it's all you guys ever seem to talk about," Lily said.

"Actually, that's not true. We talk about other things," said James. Lily raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's true," he persisted, "Padfoot, help me out here."

"James is right. We talk about all sorts. Quidditch, pranks, girls," Sirius said, ticking them off on his hand.

"I hope you say nice things about us," Cat said.

"Oh, always," Sirius said sarcastically, "From the way you always travel in packs, to the way you gossip all the time, to the way you manage to make guys fall for you." Insert awkward silence here.

"James, it's time I taught you to dance… again," Lily whispered, pulling him into the crowd before he could protest.

"What do you mean by that, Black?" Cat challenged.

"What do I mean by what?" Sirius said, sounding vaguely like he had just inhaled a cylinder of helium.

"What do you mean when you say 'the way you manage to make guys fall for you'?"

"I just meant in general?" he said, as though he was guessing the right answer.

"Oh, so you don't mean how you fell for Frieda or whatever her name is?"

"Wha-? Freya? Oh no, we're just good friends."

"Just friends?" Cat asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, she's my partner in astronomy and she didn't have a date so we agreed to go together."

"Oh, so do you snog all your friends in the middle of the Great Hall?" Cat asked icily.

"You saw that, huh?"

"Yes."

"Well, that was before."

"Before what?"

"Before we decided we were just friends."

"I can't believe you, Black!"

"What did I do?"

"You made me fall for you," Cat said, wishing the words back into her mouth as soon as she had said it.

_Crap!_ she thought,_ stupid, stupid, stupid! Power of suggestion and suddenly you've fallen for him? What the?!_

"No I did- hold on, what?" Sirius asked, completely confused now.  
Cat's hand flew to her mouth, "Nothing," came the mumbled response. Sirius stepped forward so that his body was almost touching hers. He reached forwards and gently prised her hand away from her mouth. Her eyes were downcast - she dared not look at him.

"Did you just say that you fell for me?" he asked in a whisper.

"Maybe."

"When?"

"I don't know."

"Cat, can I tell you something?" he reached out and tilted her chin upwards so that she had no choice but to look him in the eye.

"I think I've fallen for you too," he said in the most frightened and vulnerable voice she had ever heard him use. Then, because she knew it would make everything feel better, Cat leant forwards and kissed him. Softly and gently, her arms around his neck, his wrapped tentatively around her waist. It lasted for about a minute, during which time Lily spotted them and pointed them out to James, who gave an appreciative whoop that was drowned out by the music. Then Sirius pulled away.

"What about Bourke?" he asked, hoping that the answer wouldn't change things.

"We're just good mates," Cat said.

"And another thing, when did you decide that, you know, you like liked me?" Sirius asked, with a hint of that adorable vulnerability that he usually hid so well.

"I'm not exactly sure," Cat said, wrapping her arms tighter about his neck, "I think Anna or Lily might have mentioned something. Then you came to visit me in the hospital wing and you looked really worried. And then tonight, when I saw you with Freema,"

"Freya,"

"Whatever. When I saw you with her, I felt a bit jealous and the penny sort of dropped," she said. "Plus, you are the most attractive guy in our year. And you're great at quidditch. And, rumour has it, you are a fabulous kisser. A girl would have to be mad not to like you," she grinned.

"Don't flatter me too much, I might get a big head," he warned.

"Okay, I'll take that into consideration. What about you - when did you work it out?" she asked coyly.

"I spose I've known for a while. When you fell off your broom I was so angry at Flint but I think really it was just coz I was worried about you. And I couldn't tell if it was like brother-sister worried or more. But I haven't been able to get it together with any other girl since, and so I guessed you might have had something to do with that. Really, Prongs and Moony helped me to work it out a bit, but you just looked so beautiful tonight, and everything sort of fell into place, you know what I mean?" he finished awkwardly - he had never spoken in such detail about his feelings before. Let alone to a girl. A girl who was currently standing in his arms, looking very much like she'd like to kiss him again and again and again. And so she did… until they broke apart, deciding that though it was very nice that they had become a couple, they were both going to die of starvation unless they ate something.

Meanwhile, out on the dance floor, Remus and Anna were breaking it down with some ridiculously complicated partner routine that Anna had learned whilst on holidays in Argentina.

"And then I come up out of the dip and, hey presto, photo finish," she said to Remus, whose arms were getting a good work out with all the lifts.

"Got it," he said, flexing his muscles under the tight white tee-shirt. The leather jacket had been discarded hours ago - it was simply too hot.

"You know, Remus, for a brainiac you do have terribly nice arms," Anna remarked casually.

"Thanks, Anna," Remus said, blushing profusely (a girl had never paid him a compliment on his how he looked before), "All the better to lift you with."

He grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her into the air. She squealed happily, before Remus replaced her in front of him. Lily merely raised an eyebrow at James - this seemed to be their main form of communication tonight, what with all their friends pairing off.

"I'm going to go and get a glass of punch, do you want one?" Lily asked James, to which he nodded.

"I'll be right back," she said, pushing her way through the crowd, leaving James as the awkward third wheel. He could see where all this innocent flirting (_Because, really girls do not compliment your arm muscles unless they want to snog you,_ thought James)was going, and frankly he didn't want to be there when they, well… got there. So he politely excused himself - not that they noticed - and went in Lily's general direction.

Lily was pouring out two crystal glasses of blood red raspberry punch when a unwelcome yet familiar voice cut into her thoughts.

"I can't believe you're here with him," Severus Snape hissed contemptuously, "He's an unbearable, arrogant jerk, Lily, don't you have any self respect?" He seemed to be lurking on the other side of the table, as though he didn't want to be seen talking to the Head Girl.

Lily turned and fixed him with her angriest glare. He seemed to shrink back just a little bit.

"How dare you," she said to him in a dangerous voice, "I haven't spoken to you in over a year Sev, and you want to know why? Because you were my friend and you betrayed me. You called me a mud blood, you joined that gang," she spat the word, "And here you are, surprised at me for going to a ball with your archenemy?"

"I told you I was sorry about saying it, I still am sorry," he began, but she cut him off.

"No. You made your decision and I've made mine. And you have no right," she said, voice shaking, "No right to question who I spend my time with or to insult those I care about. I told you we can't be friends anymore, okay, so just leave me alone." Severus merely looked at her, expression unfathomable, before turning on heel and stalking off out of the Great Hall.

Lily sighed. She hated things the way they were. She missed her former best friend. But he had changed, she realised, and so had she. Their paths were divergent and she doubted whether they would ever be close again. She forgot her sadness, though, when she remembered him calling her mud blood. This strengthened her resolve to distance herself from Snape and people like him. 'Purists' they called themselves. _That death eater lot_, she thought to herself, _Just one more thing to worry about._ She rubbed her brow - she could feel a headache coming on. Then another voice cut into her thoughts. A more welcome one than before.

"Lily, hey Lily! What's taking so long?" James asked as he approached her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his expression immediately turning to one of concern.

"Nothing, I'm fine," she replied shortly. Sensing that she didn't want to talk, James didn't press the matter.

"So, do you want to go back out there and dance a bit more?" he asked, "Remus and Anna have just started their Lindy-Hop, and it's quite a sight to see."

"Then why are you over here?"

"Thought you might need help with the drinks," he replied innocently.

"James, there are two drinks and I have two hands. And you're lazy. Don't insult my intelligence. Why are you really over here?"

"Remus and Anna are… getting friendly," James said awkwardly.

"What? Right now?" Lily demanded.

"No, but I reckon they will soon. Anna sure knows how to turn on the charm when she wants to."

"But Remus won't fall for that old routine," Lily said, "He's smarter than that."

"Actually, I think he genuinely likes her. Also, he's been a bit rebellious lately - I think he's trying to show me and Sirius that he can be cool too, not just the brains behind the operation. It's a bit of a worry, actually…" he trailed off, looking both thoughtful and disturbed.

"Well, we'd better leave them to it then. I've got a killing headache anyway so I'm going to head on back."

"But Lily, it's only half past eleven!" James exclaimed.

"Yes, I know that. But it finishes at midnight anyway," Lily explained, "And I've seen the Headless Hunt, which I was looking forward to, so I think I'd better beat the midnight rush."

"Well, if you're sure… Hey, one more dance for old times sake?" he asked hopefully.

"I'll have to take a raincheck - this headache is actually going to split my head in half," Lily said attempting a smile.

"Okay. Well, see you tomorrow morning, I suppose?"

"Sure thing. Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Lily."

**AN - **I know, I know, James and Lily didn't kiss (cowers in fear) please don't hurt me! I'm saving some potential LJ action for the next chapter in which lily has a nightmare, but i won't give away the details (grins evilly). So this was a mostly Cat/Sirius chapter with a hint of Remus/Anna - im not sure if i want them to get together, but being the romantic i am, they will probably all end up pairing off (as the chapter title would suggest) so i'm sorry if it gets a bit sappy at times.  
I'd love to hear your feedback and whether you liked the Cat/Sirius thing or not. I thought it was cute, but that's coz i wrote it.

Also, thanks again to all my fabulous reviewers - you know who you are - and to those of you who put me on story alert (tho if everyone who put me on story alert reviewed, i would have so many more reviews than i have now!). but yes, thanks and please review this chappie coz it took me ages, and i mean ages to write!

happy fanficcing!! :)


	19. Nightmares Confessions and Hypotheticals

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still nothing

AN - Yay! You'll see why!!

* * *

**Chapter 18 - Nightmares, Confessions and Hypotheticals:**

As she made her way up the staircase Lily's headache got progressively worse. It seemed with every step she took, her head decided to pound a beat harder against her skull. It didn't help that when she reached the first floor, Peeves swooped down on her singing a crude song.

"Oh bugger off Peeves, I'm busy," Lily grumbled, shooting sparks at him from her wand.

"Ooh, not very friendly tonight, Head Girl. Is it because Potty's left you behind?" Peeves teased.

"This has nothing to do with him, you pest. I have a killer headache, so just leave me be."

"You're no fun Lily-flower," Peeves said, blowing a raspberry before swooping off into a wall. Lily sighed and continued on her way. Actually, Peeves made a good point. She was quite lonely going back to an empty common room all by herself.

_Oh well,_ she thought, _at least I'll be able to enjoy the peace and quiet. _

As she reached the portrait hole, her head gave a particularly nasty throb, and she leant against the wall for support. Her stomach now felt a little knotted, and her palms had gone a bit clammy. Deciding that she should probably take her varied aches and pains inside, she muttered the password and entered the Heads' Common Room on unsteady legs. Thinking that she'd just take a quick nap until she felt up to climbing all those stairs to her dormitory, Lily lay gingerly down on the couch in front of the fire. She kicked off her shoes and snuggled up into a ball, willing the pain to subside. She fell into a restless sleep, dreaming of strange, disjointed events, occasionally stirring to shift her limbs slightly.

It was in this position that James found Lily, just over half an hour later when he returned to their room after closing the ball. He had smiled to himself upon entering the room, seeing her sleeping (apparently) so peacefully. He transfigured one of the spare cushions on the floor into a soft blanket, and draped it gently over her prone form. Involuntarily, he reached down and brush a loose strand of hair away from her eyes.

"Sweet dreams, Lily," he whispered, before retreating to his own quarters.

* * *

**In Lily's dreams:  
**  
Lily was back at the Halloween Ball, dancing with James. Only in her dream he was actually capable of putting one foot in front of the other. They were smiling and laughing together; all in all, a fairly lovely thing to be dreaming about. But then Lily heard a loud crash coming from the Entrance Hall. She turned around, to see what was causing such a disturbance, but could see nothing through the crowd of people.

"Did you hear that, James?" she asked, eyes wide with fear.

"Hear what, Lily?" he asked, genuinely confused. Then that noise happened again - a very loud bang. It shook the window panes, and the ground beneath their feet trembled.

"That, James. That loud crash?" she asked, gripping onto his shirt in fear.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied, looking down with her in concern, "Are you feeling okay, Lily?"

"I- I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache," she replied, as if replaying the night before, "I'm going to go up to bed now. Beat the midnight rush and all that," she attempted a smile, even though on the inside she was terrified to discover what was on the other side of those grand oak doors.

"Okay, do you want me to walk you back?"

"No, I should be fine. Night, James," she said, turning and hurrying out of the hall. Dream James merely stood and watched her go.

Lily approached the massive doors, steeling herself up for whatever was on the other side. Taking a deep breath, she pushed them open to find… nothing. Everything was perfectly normal. She looked back behind her, however, and found the Great Hall empty.

_That's weird,_ dream Lily thought to herself, _I could've sworn the hall was full of people a minute ago._ She turned around, prepared to go back to her dormitory, but the Entrance Hall was gone. Instead there was a long, dark corridor.

_Well, this can only end in tears,_ Lily thought glumly, _But where else am I going to go?_ And so she began to stroll as calmly as possible down the passage, listening to her footsteps echo off the cavernous walls.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the land of the living, James was preparing for bed. It was the first day of November tomorrow (well, now if you considered it was past midnight) and James had decided that this was the month he and his team would really crack down on training. He had scheduled a seven am training session for the next day, much to the discontent of his team mates - particularly Sirius who had been overheard to say 'But, Prongs, what about breakfast?'.

James smiled as he recalled the events of the evening. Lily had said he looked fabulous. Lily had chatted with him for the entire evening. Lily had sent him funny looks about their friends. Lily had tried (albeit unsuccessfully) to teach James to dance. All in all, a very successful night. James decided to write about it in his Occlumency Diary, as per Dumbledore's general instruction at the beginning of the year.

**James' Occlumency Diary:**

I'm not sure if it's normal for a guy to have so much fun at a ball, but I swear this was one of the most enjoyable nights of my life! Sure, it can't top quidditch, or my eleventh birthday, but it's pretty bloody close.

And you want to know why?

Lily Jane Evans. That's why.

I had the most amazing time with her at the dance tonight. Not just coz she's beautiful and all that, but because she's just genuinely fun to be around. Merlin, I sound like such a sap. But it's true.

I think I still like her. I mean like like.

Who am I kidding?

I love her. I'm in love with her. I love everything about her. And I can't help it!

I've tried (you know how I've tried) to stop myself from asking her out and from telling her how I feel, but it's getting too hard. We keep having these awkward moments where we stop and just kind of look at each other. I just can't stop once I've started staring into those green eyes and I'm quite concerned that she's going to notice.

I don't want to spoil things, though, so I can't tell her how I feel - it'd frighten her off. Then things would go back to the way they were, and we'd finish at Hogwarts and I would never see her again. It would be awful.

So I won't let that happen. I won't tell her that I'm in love with her.

This is depressing me. Let's focus on the positives.

I can't think of any now. Lily won't get out of my head. Maybe I should just give up and go to sleep. I hope I don't dream. Lately my dreams haven't been helping exactly. Suffice it to say that I've grown rather fond of cold showers in the morning.

I don't think this diary is helping much, either.

* * *

Harry cringed a little. It was great that his dad loved his mum so much, but he really didn't need to know about his fathers' showering habits. It was a little more information than he had bargained for. Underneath this page in his fathers' diary Harry found a loose piece of card. Upon pulling it out for closer inspection, he realised that it was an old photo of his parents.

Although it was sepia in colour, faded and crinkled slightly, it was still clearly a wizarding photo because all the characters in it were moving. Harry's stomach swooped when he spotted a teenage version of his mother, decked out in a fairy-like costume, wedged between two girls of a similar age. He assumed they were Cat and Anna, her two friends - one dressed like Sandy from Grease, the other like a character out of an Austen novel. The girls were smiling at the camera whilst chatting with one another. Lily kept glancing sideways to try and see, Harry noticed, a teenage James Potter who was dressed in ridiculously tight pants and an unbuttoned shirt. There was that cringe factor again! A younger, healthier Lupin stood on James' right, next to Sirius who was apparently waving his wand in the direction of the girls, no doubt about to pull a prank on them. James' image kept glancing over towards the girls and ruffling his hair so that it looked windswept and rugged. James and Lily kept missing one another's furtive looks, and Harry grinned. They were such teenagers!

He turned the photo over. It was dated 31st October 1977, but a note hastily scribbled in blue ink was dated the day after.

_James, _

_Here's a copy of the photo of last night. Thanks again for what you did. I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry about… well, you know. I didn't mean to fall to pieces like that. Thanks for being there._

_Love, Lily_

This peaked Harry's interest. What had happened after the ball? Why had his mother 'gone to pieces'? He searched through the trunk to find the answer…

* * *

**Back in Lily's dream.**

As she walked down the increasingly gloomy corridor, Lily felt an impending sense of doom bearing down upon her. She felt as though she knew she was in a dream, but she couldn't wake up. Or at least, she wasn't ready to wake up just yet. She had to see where the corridor led.

The ground beneath her feet rose to steep incline, and Lily suddenly found herself actually puffing a little bit. A big oak door appeared in front of her.

_Well this is suitably bizarre,_ she thought, _I__ wonder what's behind that door?_

She pushed it open and entered the dimly lit room. _What is it with dreams and poor lighting?_ Then she found the light switch on the side of the wall. Flicking it, the room burst into light. It was a cosy sort of place; a family home, perhaps? Lily walked through the living room (which looked quite welcoming) and through to a set of stairs. Noting that the colour scheme within the house was rather agreeable with her own tastes, Lily climbed the staircase and paused to look out a window on the first floor landing. She could see a tidy front yard (Hogwarts was no where in sight) in a quiet suburban street. There was a discarded broom laying next to a sapling beech tree and this prompted Lily again to wonder whose house she was in and why. Then she heard a noise. It sounded like a baby crying. So naturally, dream-Lily went to investigate. Stopping momentarily to look into a bedroom that was uncannily similar to the Head's Common Room, Lily noticed that in her dream she still had a persistent head ache. How irritating. Then she heard the baby's cry from the room at the end of the hall. The room had a bright blue door, that stood out somewhat from the décor in the rest of the house.

She gently pushed open the door to find a basinet in the middle of the room with a small planetary mobile above it. She could see a tiny hand reaching up out of the cot, as if trying to grab a hold of the model Mars or Venus. In three strides Lily crossed the room and peered down into the cot. Lying there, showing no signs of discontent or reason for crying, was a small baby - perhaps a year or so old, Lily guessed - with a shock of black hair and vibrantly green eyes.

_Curious,_ thought Lily, _those eyes are strangely familiar. Do I know this little person?_

She was about to reach down and touch the child when an explosion shook the whole house. Screaming, dream-Lily rushed out of the room and peered down the staircase. Had it not been a dream, she would have pulled out her wand by this stage, but she was powerless in this strange quasi-world.

Then two bodies came into view. Dream-Lily would have fainted at the sight of them, but she was in a dream so she couldn't. She would have fainted because she was looking at herself. Herself but older slightly, and more tired-looking. Not only that, but it was future Lily and what appeared to be a slightly taller and terrified looking James.

Had dream-Lily not been rooted to the spot with fear, she might have wondered what she and James were doing in a house together. But she didn't, for at this point the pair of them ran half way up the stairs, the sound of smashing glass and splintering wood in the background.

"James, where's your wand?" future Lily half screamed.

"It's downstairs, but we'll be okay Lily. I promise," future James replied, although his voice was shaking. Then there was another flash of light and the pair of them were forced backwards into the wall.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off," future James said, forcing future Lily upstairs with his strong arms before turning and readying himself for what was coming. But dream-Lily wanted to know what she was doing, so she followed herself through the blue door, watching herself seal it shut. Her headache was pounding in her ears, and she wondered how she could possibly feel so much pain in a dream. Then there was a blast of green light and a deft thump outside the door. Both Lilys screamed, knowing what had happened. Future Lily rushed over and scooped the baby - Harry - out of his cot, cradling him in her arms. Dream-Lily, though she cursed herself for being a coward, ran and huddled up beneath the window frame, waiting for whatever was to come through the door.

_Can you die in a dream?_ she wondered fearfully.

Then another blast shook the house and dream-Lily shut her eyes tight. She could hear herself pleading with a high, cold voice.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Step aside you silly girl…stand aside now."

"Not Harry, please no! Take me, kill me instead… Not Harry! Please, have mercy, have mercy-"

Then from behind closed eyelids, dream-Lily saw a flash of green light and heard another dull thump of a body hitting the ground. She didn't want to open her eyes and see the scene before her. She simply sat a screamed and screamed for help.

* * *

James awoke to the sound of yelling. Or screaming - he couldn't really be sure. He had be rudely awoken from a particularly vivid dream in which he and Lily were sitting in their lounge room playing a game of exploding snap by these strange noises. At first he had thought it was in his dream, but then he had realised that there would be no reason for someone to be yelling in his dream. So he had slowly made his way back to reality, only to discover that the screams were in fact real and were coming from the Heads' living room. Realising that the only person that could be making these terrifying noises was Lily, James quickly swung his legs out of bed, chucked on an old tee-shirt and made his way downstairs.

The sight that met him made his heart flip over in his chest with fear. Lily was where he had left her on the couch by the fire, but she was tossing and turning violently - as though she was having a fit. She was tangled in the blanket James had put there, her partially curled hair in knots, her face streaked with tears and yet her eyes still firmly shut. She was no longer screaming, but whimpering and crying although she appeared to still be asleep.

James hurried over to the couch. He bent down and grabbed Lily by the shoulders.

"Lily, wake up! Lily!" he called, but she did not wake.

"Lily," he said louder this time, shaking her shoulders roughly. Lily's eyes snapped open and locked onto James' immediately. James was genuinely frightened by the haunted look in Lily's own eyes.

"James?" she whispered, eyes full with tears.

"It's okay, Lily, I'm here," he said, rubbing her shoulders gently. Unexpectedly, Lily broke down into a fresh set of tears, launching herself into James' arms. He somehow managed to sit himself on the couch; Lily wrapped in his arms, sobbing gently into his shoulder. He softly stroked her hair or rubbed her back, whispering the occasional 'shush' or 'it's okay'. After about an hour of this, Lily's sobs had subsided and she pulled out of James' embrace, turning so that he couldn't see her face.

"Sorry," she muttered quietly, "bad dream."

Restraining himself from saying 'yeah, I figured', James said simply "Are you okay?"

"No," she managed to half laugh.

"Is your headache gone?"

"Mostly. It's not as bad as it was," she replied, wrapping the blanket from before tightly around her. James got up suddenly and went into the bathroom. Lily panicked a little watching him go - the dream had really put her on edge - but she was calm when she saw he was returning.

"Here," he said, handing her a cool glass of water, "It'll help."

"Thanks," she whispered, accepting the drink gratefully. After one sip, the dull ache behind her eyes that she had grown accustomed to began to subside.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James ventured after another minute or so - he was now seated cross-legged on the floor in front of the fire.

"I don't know," she replied honestly, "It was just so real, you know?"

"The dream? Yeah, I've had dreams like that. And you wake up and you swear that what you dreamed actually happened?"

"Kind of. But this one was different. It was like I was having one dream - about the ball and all that - and then this one sort of interrupted."

"That's strange," James commented, "But not completely unheard of."

"But it gets worse. In my dream it was like I was watching." James' brow crinkled in confusion.

"Watching what?"

"Like I was watching myself. My future self. I was in the room with myself and…" she trailed off, but James didn't really notice.

"So like you were in the dream twice?" he asked.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Why were you screaming?" he asked cautiously. He did not want to make Lily feel uncomfortable or make her start crying again.

"Was I screaming?" she asked.

"Yep. At first I thought it was a part of my dream, but then I woke up and it was you," he admitted.

"Oh" was all Lily seemed able to manage.

"Well?" James asked gently. Lily blushed - should she tell him that in her dream they were living together with a son presumably of their own?

"Well, it's complicated." James simply nodded. This seemed to encourage Lily - he wasn't being too pushy so that was a good sign.

"Well. We were in a house-"

"We?"

"You and I," Lily said, eyes downcast in embarrassment, "And we were talking or something and then there was this explosion."

"An explosion?"

"It felt like one. The whole house shook and then we ran to the staircase," Lily's voice quivered and suddenly James was there beside her, on the couch, with an arm around her shoulder. She found the courage to continue.

"You said 'It's him, take Harry and go' and then I ran upstairs. And I followed me, if that makes sense?" James nodded again.

"And we are in the baby's room, and there's a flash of green light and you're- you're," her voice cracked and the tears fell freely. She didn't have to finish that sentence, James knew what she meant - in the dream, he had died.

"And then," Lily continued as though she couldn't stop, "someone breaks down the door. I couldn't watch this part, but I think I die too. And then the baby was screaming and I was too and then, well, you woke me up."  
James just sat holding Lily in stunned silence. He didn't know what was more intriguing: the fact that in Lily's dream he and Lily were (presumably) married with a child, or the fact that they both got murdered.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," Lily said lamely, "I didn't mean to."

"Lils, don't be ridiculous! And don't worry about me, okay? You're allowed to be scared every now and then. I mean, it's not like we have a choice these days," he said gravely, thinking back to the recent spate of muggle attacks.

"I know, but it just felt so real. I've never had a dream like that before," she said frowning.

"But that's just it, Lils, it was a dream. Only a dream. Nothing will harm you, I promise."

"That's what you said in the dream," Lily noted, looking up at him with fearful eyes. "You said 'we'll be okay, Lily, I promise'."

"But that was a dream, Lils," James said reassuringly, "Besides, as if you'd let me share a house with you."  
Lily chuckled a bit at this. It was true - what were the odds of her and Potter actually getting together. Slim to none, she decided.

"Thanks, James. I really appreciate this," she said, "If there's any way I can make it up to you-" she began, but seeing the look in James' eyes, she quickly said "You know what I mean, Potter," to quell any thoughts he might have had about them… getting closer.

"Lily, letting me hug you is payment enough," he smiled, ever trying to lighten the mood. Then, to his (and her) surprise, Lily leant her head on his shoulder and snuggled in a bit closer.

"Is it okay if we stay like this for a while?" she asked.

"Sure thing. Do you want to talk or sleep?"

"I don't mind. Is there something you want to talk about?" James considered this for a moment. This would be the golden opportunity to tell her what was on his mind - namely, her. Then again, this would probably ruin all the progress they had made as friends and that would certainly be detrimental to their relationship. So instead James settled for the half truth.

"Nothing in particular. I was just going to say that it's interesting that I was in your dream, coz you were in my dream too." James could feel Lily raising her eyebrows.

"Not like that, Lily, get your mind out of the gutter," to which she laughed.

"I can't remember what we were doing. I think we were in a lounge room somewhere playing a game of exploding snap. I also think that I was winning," he said.

"What did the lounge room look like?" Lily inquired suddenly, her body stiffening against James'.

"Why?"

"Just curious. Did it have cream coloured sofas and a thick wooden coffee table?"

"I think so, why?" asked James, with a growing feeling of trepidation.

"Because that room was in the house in my nightmare," Lily whispered.

"Lily, that's just a coincidence, trust me," James said, "Everyone has lounges like that."

"But don't you think it's a little bizarre?" she pressed.

"No, I don't. Funny that we both dream about each other, yes. Bizarre enough to worry about? No."

"Okay, if you say so," Lily said, a little relieved.

"Good. Now that's sorted, I don't feel so guilty that you were in my dream. Usually I feel a bit bad."

"Usually?" Lily enquired, now just one eyebrow raised.

_Shit,_ thought James, _Now she knows you dream about her all the time. Good going, bigmouth!_

"What I mean is… on the occasion when you are in my dreams I, err, feel guilty about it," he said stupidly.

"Oh, okay," Lily said, deciding to let that one slide, "I don't really feel guilty if you're in my dreams. Except for now. You dying wasn't exactly complimentary."

"S'ok, I'm guessing you didn't want that to happen to me in your dream so I'm not offended," James said, well aware that the lateness of the hour was making them both a little nonsensical.

"It's really weird how in dreams you seem to have no control over what happens," Lily mused, unconsciously wrapping her arm around James' middle.

"That's what makes them more frightening than real life, I guess," James agreed, covering Lily's arm with his other so that he was holding her in a sideways hug.

"Although, sometimes I feel a bit that way when I'm awake. Like things are just getting completely out of control and there's nothing I can do about it," she said.

"Really? Do you mean just at school?" James curiosity got the better of him.

"Mostly, but I suppose also when we read things in the paper about the muggle killings and stuff. I just feel so helpless," she sighed.

"Do you think it was him in your dream - the dark lord?" James asked.

"Probably. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, so I wouldn't be surprised," she replied honestly. "What about you, though? Do you ever feel like things are out of your control, or is it just me?"

"Of course I do!" James exclaimed, "School work, what's going on out there," he gestured out the window, "How I feel-" he stopped there.

"How you feel?" Lily asked.

"Yes."

"How you feel about what?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm asking you what you meant. You feel out of control about how you feel. But what do you mean?"

"I mean, how I feel towards certain people, no matter how much I try to change how I feel about them, I just can't," James said determinedly, wanting Lily to pick up on the not so subtle hint that he was talking about his feelings towards her.

"Do you mean you can't help but have feelings for someone you shouldn't?" Lily asked quietly, all thoughts of her nightmare quite forgotten now.

"Yes," James whispered, inclining his head so that he was looking at her. She, in turn, swivelled so that she was looking up into his hazel eyes.

"Why do you think that you shouldn't have feelings for this person?" she asked softly.

"Since when so we have deep and meaningfuls in the middle of the night?" James joked.

"James?" Lily said seriously, her eyes boring into his.

"Because this person has always said that there's no hope for us," he replied sadly. Lily broke the eye contact and looked back into the fire.

"Do you think maybe this person might've been a bit hasty in their judgement?" she asked. James merely shrugged, not sure if an actual answer might bring them both back to reality.

"Do you think maybe, it's possible that this person felt out of control of their own feelings and so pushed you away as a method of dealing with these feelings? And perhaps now they've come to realise that they were wrong?" she suggested.

"Lily, what do you mean?" James breathed, his heart going a million miles an hour inside his chest.

"I don't know how to say what I mean," she said, trembling slightly as she turned to look at him once more. The air around them was thick with things unsaid, words unspoken, and both parties were finding their breathing to be a bit more laboured.

"Maybe we should both get some sleep," James suggested, not wanting an awkward repeat of the quidditch after party. But Lily remained where she was. It looked as though she was having an internal struggle.

_Lily, do it, just tell him you were wrong and that you do like him now._

_No, don't tell him now, he'll think you're a nut case - you just had a creepy dream about his death, for Merlin's sake!_

_But it's now or never. Tell him!!_

_But what can you say??_

_Don't say, don't stop and think. Just do it!_ The voices in her head argued.

"James, hypothetically speaking, if I was to tell you that I was completely and utterly wrong about you when I said you were an arrogant toerag, and other words to that effect, and then I was to tell you that I might have feelings for you and that those feelings are ones I can't control and they scare me to bits and then tell you that seeing you die in my nightmare scared me more than anything, what would you do?" Lily asked in one massive breath. James, who had not been expecting this admission but wasn't completely shocked by it (given what they had just been speaking about) pulled out of the one armed hug and turned to face her properly.

"Hypothetically?"

"Yes, hypothetically," Lily agreed, eyes wide.

"Well, I would probably do this," James said leaning forward. He placed one hand on the small of her back, and the other at the top of her neck, so that he was cradling her head. He leant forward and brushed his lips against hers. His lips, surprisingly soft against hers, gently expressed years of pent up emotion and soon the kiss deepened when Lily allowed his tongue entrance. He carefully stroked and caressed, playfully nipping at her bottom lip with his teeth. She smiled against his mouth, returning his enthusiasm with delicate finesse. After a good ten minuted or so of heavy duty snogging, they broke apart foggy eyed and tousle-haired.

Clearing his throat slightly, James said "That's what I'd do… hypothetically speaking, of course."  
Lily smiled. He had said this to make her comfortable. If she didn't want to take their relationship to that level, she could play along with the 'hypothetical' storyline. If she did, well, she could kiss him again and again and again. Deciding (against her more instinctive 'animal' judgement) that because of the lateness of the hour and the crazy emotional rollercoaster she was on after the nightmare they should go with the hypothetical option (for the time being), she decided to return to normal.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," she admitted truthfully, knowing full well she sounded like a chicken. James smiled, if a little sadly, acknowledging her decision to be 'hypothetical' about things.

"They're only dreams, Lily. I promise they can't hurt you," he replied.

"I know they can't but I hate not having control," Lily said softly, tears threatening to fall once more.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" James asked again.

"Stay with me?" she asked quietly. James smiled, "Of course." He got up to push the arm chairs together for his own bed, but Lily interrupted.

"No, it's okay. I think we can both fit on the couch. It's quite roomy."

"Well, well, Lily Evans is getting broad minded," James joked. Noticing Lily's genuinely scarlet blush he apologised.

"Sorry, I was just kidding Lily."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just happy you're here," she replied with such conviction that James just wanted to bend over and snog her senseless. But he restrained himself. This time.

They snuggled up on the couch; Lily facing the fire, her back pressed against James' chest, his arm around her stomach. They really had gotten incredibly close in such a short amount of time, but given the amount of emotional upheaval they had both gone through that night (what with the nightmares and nearly-confessions) it wasn't exactly surprising. They both fell into a deep sleep, each feeling safer than they had in a long time.

* * *

AN - there you have it folks

the kiss

although this doesnt necessarily mean they're together - it's only october for pete's sake! but squee for cuteness. i hope this lived up to expectations. if not i apologise - having never actually kissed someone before makes this sort of stuff difficult to write. also, it was set at two or three in the morning so if they're slightly out of character, blame it on tiredness. in keeping with the theme, i decided to write this in teh wee hours of the morning. its now 4am (can anyone say insomniac?) so im going to post this

i expect buckets of reviews please coz this was a hard one to get out

also sorry about the predictability of the dream - it had to happen, so im sorry if it was bad! or made u sad. i know i was sad!

happy fanficcing and thanks for sticking with this story - especially all you lovely darlings who review esp the last chapter - you know who u are! :) xo


	20. The Morning After

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter. Or James Potter... or Sirius Black - this makes me want to cry!

Warning - Slight T or M rating for suggestiveness in the Cat/Sirius bit, just so you know. hope it's not over the top!! no flames please!!

* * *

**Chapter 19 - The Morning After:**

Lily's eyes fluttered open to see embers dying in the grate of the fireplace. She frowned slightly, her brain slowly grinding into action, trying to remember the night before. As vague memories started coming back to her, she became aware of a warm body behind her. She frowned again. The warm body stirred, and an arm around her waist tightened gently.

James, meanwhile, was having a very pleasant dream in which he and Lily were sitting by the banks of the Black Lake talking and laughing. In the dream, he had his arm around her waist and was giving it a squeeze when she shoved him playfully in the ribs.

In actual fact, the real Lily had accidentally shoved him in the ribs in an unsuccessful attempt to wriggle off the couch and see just whose arms she was lying in.

"Whoa!" she cried, eyes wide, as she fell off the couch onto the side of her hip. "Ouch," she groaned, rubbing it gingerly. It was when she looked up to see James blinking blearily at her that she fully remembered what had transpired the previous night.

_Oh crap, we kissed! _Lily's eyes widened even further, _We're still just friends, right?_

James yawned widely before he registered that it was Lily who was looking right at him.

_That was a nice dream… Hold on, what am I doing on the couch? Why is Lily on the floor?_ Then he remembered, _Oh Merlin! Quick, say something before the silence becomes awkward!_

"Morning, Lily. How- how are you?" he yawned again, mostly to cover his sudden nervousness.

"I'm good, I think…I hurt my hip though. And I can't really feel my arm," she gave it a little shake to emphasise this point.

"Yep, I know that feeling," James agreed, sitting up and cracking various joints.

"Eww, James, don't do that," Lily said, wrinkling her nose.

"Sorry, force of habit," he admitted, looking around for his dressing gown (which was upstairs in his bedroom). Lily took this opportunity to quickly flatten her hair with her hands and smooth down her clothes. She was still wearing her costume from the night before, and was now beginning to regret choosing such a short piece of clothing.

"Uh, James?" she asked, remembering something else.

"Yeah, Lils?" he replied distractedly.

"Didn't you have quidditch training this morning?"

"Shit!" he said, racing out of the portrait hole in his boxers and tee-shirt. Lily just sat, looking at the portrait hole, grinning. James dashed back in, muttering a few choice swear words under his breath.

"Don't forget your pants, James," Lily called after him, wandering up to her own bedroom as James hurried to put his clothes on.

* * *

"Prongs, where have you been? We've all been down here freezing our arses off waiting for you to start your stupid early morning training session! What the hell?" Sirius demanded angrily from his position under the goal posts.

"Sorry, guys, I must've overslept or something," James puffed, thoroughly out of breath as he had run the entire length of the castle to get there.

"Come on, James, that's a pathetic excuse! We were all here. Well, except for Sirius and Cat," Tim said cheekily. Jonathon aimed a short sharp kick to his shins, while Cat and Sirius blushed heavily. Well, Cat was the one blushing. Sirius merely stuck his chin out in a defiant way.

"We were only ten minutes late," he said, "And besides, we are not the team captain," he threw a glare in James' direction.

"You could've started without me," James pointed out.

"The man makes a good argument," Jon agreed.

"Whatever guys. Look, I'm freezing my wand off here, can we just get on with it?" asked an irritated Nathan Wood (fourth year keeper for the team).

"I'm with Nate on this one. It's bloody freezing," Rachael Rawlins (the other chaser) chipped in.

"Okay, guys. Three laps round the pitch then we'll practise some drills with the balls, okay?" James said, eager to make their remaining time worthwhile.

The seven scarlet clad students zoomed off around the pitch and began their practice.

* * *

**Remus' Occlumency Diary:**

I have never been good with girls.

This is a fact, plain and simple.

Ask anyone.

Sirius says it's my lack of confidence. James says it's my self-consciousness. Peter… well, he doesn't say much at all, really.

But it's true.

Which is why I was surprised that Anna - one of the most beautiful girls in our year - agreed to go to the Halloween Ball with me. I mean, I wasn't completely shocked - I'm a friendly sort of guy. It's just that there are cooler and I suppose more attractive ones out there for the girls to choose from.

So, yeah, suffice it to say I wasn't expecting her to say yes. And then she did. So we had to come up with costumes and we chose the characters out of her favourite muggle film _Grease._ It's your classic good girl and cool guy fall in love sort of a story. I personally feel that we got our characters wrong. And if Padfoot were here he'd be inferring that I meant I should be the girl. No, Padfoot, that's not what I mean. I just think that Anna's the cool one, and I'm the quiet, studious type.

I'm rambling.

It's not important, what I have to say. It's just I want to write it down before I forget how this feels. Also, I have nothing better to do.

Right, so last night I was dancing with Anna (as one does at a dance) and she said I had nice arm muscles. Which was nice of her, don't you think?

Anyway, that was really quite good because people - particularly girls - don't often comment on my appearance. Usually it's 'Remus, you're such a nerd' or 'Remus, you study too much', insert annoying giggles here. But Anna was treating me like… well, like I was a guy. You know - parts and all?

And I felt, I don't know, sort of special.

I'm not going to get my hopes up or anything like that, but I think she may have been flirting with me. Although, with Anna it's hard to tell if she's flirting or being normal. Kinda like Sirius (not to me, just to clarify, I mean with the girls!). But I have noticed of late that she hasn't been particularly close with any other guy. Usually she'd be the first to have a date to this sort of thing. I asked her that morning and she still didn't have a partner. Does this mean she was waiting for me to ask her? Or was she just confident she could find someone hot at the ball to hook up with?

It's all too confusing for me!

It would be nice if she fancied me. It'd be nice to be the centre of attention for a change - not James and Sirius.

What am I talking about? Since when do I compare myself to those guys? I swear, stress of NEWTS is changing me. Heck, I asked a girl to a dance just because I didn't want to be the only loser without a date. That's not Remus Lupin! That's not me!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Now that strange little bit of self deprecating analysis is out of the way, let me continue my story of last night.

So we were dancing and laughing, etcetera. Anna may or may not have been flirting with me, who knows? The thing is, I think I was flirting with her. I'm almost sure of it. Maybe I can call it my own unique brand of flirting. Yes, that's what it was. Unique. I was picking her up, dancing steps I'm pretty sure aren't legal in some countries with her, smiling at her like Sirius smiles at all the girls. It was so un-me. Which makes me wonder. Do I like Anna the way I like Lily and the others. Or do I like Anna as a girl. You know what I mean.

Then again, maybe you don't. You're only a diary for Merlin's sake.

Just had breakfast. Alone. James and Sirius are at quidditch training with Cat. No doubt Peter's gone to watch them - hope he doesn't get too excited. So that left me. Anna wasn't there. Lily was, though. She came in about halfway through my second piece of toast looking particularly tired. So we struck up a casual conversation which went as follows (and I'm recording it here because you never know when you might need this sort of information for blackmailing purposes and the like):

"Hey, Remus"

"Morning Lily. What's up?"

"Nothing much. You?"

"Same. Everyone's at quidditch practise"

Lily chuckles.

"What?"

"James slept in this morning and tried to go to practise without his pants on."

I laugh. Wait, hold on..

"Did you, err, witness his pants-lessness?"

Lily blushes.

"Well, yes"

"Oh, James will be pleased."

Lily blushes more so I try to change the subject.

"So, did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah, but I got a headache towards the end. The band were just a bit loud, I reckon. You and Anna seemed to be having fun."

"We were. Well, I was. I think. Did she say anything?"

"I haven't actually seen her yet. Why do you ask?"

"No reason"

(I say this too hastily, and Lily gives me that disbelieving look. The one she gives us Marauders every time James and Sirius swear they've done nothing wrong).

"I'm sure if I had seen her she would've sung your praises, Remus"

"That's nice" (I try to sound off hand, but I fail as Lily continues with her funny looks).

"Remus, can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure, I guess so"

"Do you like Anna? Like, like her?"

"Well, I, umm, I don't know really. She's a great girl?"

"That's not what I meant"

"I know"

"Well..?"

"I'm not sure. Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to know"

"Oh. Okay," there's a short pause here, "Do you want my copy of _The Prophet_, I'm done with it?"

"Sure, thanks"

"Hey, Lily, can I ask you a question?"

"Yep, fire away"

"Do you like like James?"

Picture Lily's jaw dropping and her face draining of all colour. Then picture her trying to compose herself as though she was fine with the question. Because that's what happened.

"Well, no. I mean, he's a good Head Boy. And a good quidditch player. But we're just. I mean, we're only… friends?"

"I know you're 'just friends', I was just wondering if you wanted something more?"

"NO! I mean, no. We're just friends, simple as that"

At which point the Gryffindor team walk in and Sirius - ever the tactful one - asks Lily "Who's just friends?"

James' momentary look of disappointment (he worked it out on his own) is missed by everyone aside from me and Lily thanks to Tim saying "Not you and Cat, apparently."

Then a rather entertaining wrestling match takes place, Lily excuses herself and James plonks down across the table from me.

"What were you and Lily talking about?"

"This and that. Why do you care? You told me you and Lils were just friends and at the start of the year, if you recall, you said that you didn't fancy her"

"I don't"

"Then why do you want to know what we were talking about?"

James glares at me. I give in.

"I was just asking if she fancies you"

"And she said?"

I raise an eyebrow.

"She said we're just friends, simple as that, didn't she?"

"Verbatim."

"Oh. Okay"

"She'll come around, Prongs, don't worry about it"

"I'm not worried. We're just friends."

"Okay. Whatever you say"

At which point James excuses himself, despite the fact that he's eaten nothing, and disappears into the entrance hall, presumably to take a shower. Not that I want to speculate on such things.

End of transcript.

So that left me at the table with Sirius and Cat, who are now officially going out. In spite of this, they are slightly awkward around one another. I'm not sure if it's because they are both renowned for being, how shall I put it..? highly sought after by the opposite sex and they each find it intimidating or if it's because they have been friends for so long that it's too weird. Either way, I did not want to stick around and find out. Instead I came up here and wrote this in you. I don't know why I'm doing it now. On a Saturday morning. Surely I have better things to waste my time on. And writing an Occlumency diary in the morning defeats its purpose somewhat.

Oh well.

I spose I'd better get a move on with all that Potions homework. It really is my worst subject!

* * *

Decked out in all her quidditch gear, glossy hair tied back in a sleek pony-tail, Catherine Jones admired her boyfriend from across the table. Sure, he was stuffing his face with as much food as humanly possible, but he still looked pretty good to her. Sirius, although not looking up from his plate piled high with sustenance, could feel Cat's eyes on him and decided that he should be paying her a bit more attention. So, with all the grace and technique he had acquired over the years, he slipped off one quidditch boot and gently poked Cat in the shin with his big toe. She gave a start and looked around to try and find the source of the kicking. Only when she looked back at Sirius, who had swallowed and was grinning cheekily at her, did she get what was going on.

_Right, _she thought to herself, _if this is how you want to play things, Black, then prepare to loose._

Using all inherent female-multitasking skills, she simultaneously buttered a slice of toast (not breaking eye contact with Sirius) and slipped off her right boot. She bit into the toast as sexily as she could. Noticing the way Sirius was staring at her lips she decided now was a good time to run her foot up the inside of his calf muscle. He literally jumped at the contact.

"Sirius, man, what are you doing?" Jon asked, eyebrows knit together in confusion over his team mates' behaviour.

"Sorry. Err, muscle spasm," he replied, still looking at Cat with shocked eyes. She merely grinned back at him.

"Aww, you poor thing," she cooed, "Remind me to give you a massage later." Those who had been listening raised their eyebrows at one another. News that the two were now an item hadn't quite reached the rest of the school yet.

Sirius just continued to stare at her in shock; he hadn't believed she would play along with his game of footsies.

Cat hadn't removed her foot from its position resting on the inside of his calf. In fact, she decided that it would be more fun to see how much further she could push her new boyfriend. She waited until he took a large sip of his pumpkin juice before skimming her toes quickly up the inside of his thigh, silently thanking god for her long legs. Needless to say Sirius got everyone's attention by spluttering his juice everywhere when he felt Cat's foot reach higher up…

"Another muscle spasm?" she asked with mock concern, "Whatever shall we do with you, Black?"

"I can think of several things I'd like to do with you," he growled, low enough for just her to hear.

"With me or to me?" she asked, making small circle patterns on him with her toes. He simply made an involuntary animal groan as she made her foot reach just a little bit further…

"Well, I'm done with breakfast. Are you coming?" she said suddenly, removing her foot and slipping it back into her shoe.

"Wha- what?"

"I'm going, are you coming?" she repeated slowly.

"Err, no. I'm just going to, uh, sit here for a bit," he answered nervously.

"Oh, okay," Cat said, feigning innocence even though she knew the exact reason he couldn't leave the table, "See you later."

_Cat one, Sirius zero._

* * *

James walked into the Head's Common Room tired and aching from the quidditch session. Having turned up late, he had put in double the effort to try and make up for it. As a result, he now had a stabbing pain in his lower back, not to mention a pretty sore bum and what he was certain was the beginning of frostbite on his fingers, as he had left his gloves behind in his haste. He walked over to the bathroom door and was about to turn the handle when it was jerked open from the other side.

"Ahh!" Lily cried, eyes wide as saucers.

"Oh Merlin," James responded, quickly turning away, "Sorry!"

Lily was wrapped in a fluffy white towel that, although it covered everything sufficiently, did not leave much to the imagination.

"Sorry, James, I didn't know you were here. I would've put some clothes on," she rambled in her embarrassment. Ordinarily she would have yelled at him, but experience had taught her that yelling wasn't always the best solution. Additionally, she was embarrassed because she had been thinking about James in his boxers just seconds ago - she had been in a bit of a daze - and couldn't really face him just yet.

James was mentally slapping himself in the face. _Stop thinking about Lily in that towel!_

"Sorry!" was all he could manage at this point.

"James, it's fine," Lily said, collecting herself, "I could've been naked and then we would have been in trouble." He laughed at this. Good, that was what she had been aiming for.

"Now if you could just close your eyes and count to, I don't know, a million? I will run away very quickly."

"Why am I closing my eyes, then?" he asked, without meaning to.

"I run the risk of towel slippage."

"So?"

She merely hit him upside the head on the way past by means of response.

"Thanks for that, Lily," he called after her.

"For what?"

"For giving me a mental picture I will never be able to get rid of," he chuckled, entering the now vacant bathroom.

* * *

Anna stirred in her comfy four poster bed. She had missed breakfast, but that didn't matter. Sirius had shown her the entrance to the kitchens behind the ticklish pear back in their fourth year when they had briefly dated. She would go down there and get the house elves to make her something light.

No, the main thing on the blonde's mind right now was a certain Gryffindor prefect who seemed to her to be the ideal guy. _He's smart, he's funny, attractive, a good dancer, kind hearted,_ she thought, mentally ticking these attributes off her list. _Ah, but does he like you?_ asked an annoying voice in her head. _Of course he does,_ Anna replied to herself,_ who doesn't like me?_

_You know what I mean?_

_Yes. But really, I'm attractive, funny, smart-ish. _

_Is that enough, though?_

_What do you mean?_

_Think about it - Remus is your ideal guy. He is pretty much perfect. He will want something more than charm and good looks. _

Anna stared defiantly at the ceiling. She would have to prove her worth to Remus in a way that he would appreciate. This meant that she would have to stop flirting openly with him. She would have to knuckle down in class - show him that she had brains. She would have to, in short, change everything about herself. Anna didn't really mind, she liked change. In fact, she decided that the first change she would make would be to cut her long blonde hair short. _This will catch his attention,_ she smiled to herself.

* * *

**AN - Hooray - over 100 reviews!! i love you guys!!**

On another note, sorry this chapter's a bit shorter than the last two. It's more of a filler/catch-up chapter rather than a plot-driving chapter, you know?

Also, the Sirius/Cat stuff was inspired by an episode of Coupling called Gotcha (very funny, highly recommend it!)

And the ending was a bit abrupt, but i had run out of things to write. Remus is just too cute and insecure, isn't he!

Please keep up the great reviews!! they absolutely make my day. The next chapter will be a bit more plot-y (but with the regular helping of fluff) so stay tuned! :)


	21. New Haircuts, Homework and Truth or Dare

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still nothing

AN - More fluffy/emotional/catch-uppy stuff. the plot can wait. well, not the lj plot, that's pretty consistent, but the rest of the stuff. that i have yet to come up with, will feature later on... i'm rambling, ignore me! enjoy! also, i dedicate this chapter to childforever, happilycharmed, CHEESE PLEASE, FangedLeaf, Love-Pink26, nessa-rae, SeekerGirl, shetlandlace, Blue-Eyed Chica, Kira2667, HeyThereGeorgieGirl, x-HP4ever, lilyre and livvyg, be-loved-and-loved-in-return and everyone else whp reviewed - im sorry i havent replied yet - i've been a bit slack! but thanks guys you absolutely rock my world!! xo

* * *

**Chapter 20 - New Haircuts, Homework and More Truth or Dare:**

"Anna, what have you done?!" was the first thing Cat said to Anna upon returning to the seventh year dormitory to find her best friends' golden locks strewn on the floor.

"I cut my hair. Do you like it?" Anna replied, twirling short strands around her wand to make them wavy.

"Of course I do; it looks great, but why?"

"No reason. I just felt like a change, that's all," she replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Hey guys, I just had the most emb- oh my god!" Lily exclaimed, walking into the room, "What happened to your hair?" She had come directly from the Heads' Dormitory to relay the near-naked-around-James story only to find Cat standing agape at Anna, who was suddenly sporting a new hair-do.

"Does nobody like it this way?" Anna pouted, knowing full well that she looked gorgeous.

"No, sorry, you look fabulous. It's just… what happened to good Sandy?" Cat laughed, the others joining in. When they had calmed down they had a bit of a chat.

"Last night was so much fun, wasn't it?" Anna gushed.

"Yeah. I thought so," Cat grinned, "You never told me Sirius was such a great kisser."

"Am I the only one who hasn't snogged Black now?" Lily groaned, knowing that this would put her at a great disadvantage when it came to girl talk later on.

"Yes," the other two chorused, giggling.

"We should fix that," suggested Anna, "So that we have something in common to talk about."

"Hey! That's my boyfriend you're talking about," cried Cat indignantly. She paused for a minute, a dreamy look on her face, then burst out laughing. When Lily and Anna managed to calm her down, hysterical giggles subsiding, Cat told them about her 'game' with Sirius. This resulted in a fresh peel of laughter from the girls, who couldn't stand up again for ten minutes they were laughing so hard.

"So, did you have a good time Lils?" Anna asked when they had fully recovered.

"Yeah, I suppose. It was good to see all those hours of preparation finally pay off, you know?" she said.

"Have fun with our favourite Head Boy?" Cat asked, waggling her eyebrows.

"Oh, shove off," Lily said, blushing rather deeply.

"No way!" Anna said, eyes wide, "I know that look." Lily looked up fearfully.

"Lily likes James!"

"I do not!" Lily cried, although her eyes said otherwise.

"Oh my lord, you're right!" Cat yelled, agreeing with Anna, "she does like him!"

"Guys, stop it right now before I hex you both into next week," Lily threatened, actually pulling out her wand. Her reputation as a fiery red-head applied rather well to this situation.

"Fine, fine, take all the fun out of my day," Anna replied nonchalantly, accustomed to Lily pulling a wand on her. She knew her friend would never hurt her, but she didn't want to get on her bad side all the same.

"What about you, Anna? Have fun with Lupin?" Cat asked. To her surprise, Anna blushed slightly and looked at her hands.

"Why, yes I did, thank you very much… He's a rather good dancer," she said in as normal a voice as she could muster.

"Is Anna blushing?" Lily stage-whispered to Cat.

"I think she is, Lily. Does this mean what I think it means, B1?"

"I think it does, B2. Anna has a crush on Re-" but before Lily could finish her sentence, Anna had slammed a hand over her mouth.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Lily." The girl in question merely licked her silencer's hand. Anna recoiled, "Eww, gross!"

"Serves you right. You tease me, but I can't tease you? What's with that?" Lily asked.

"She's right, you know. There's a bit of double standards in there," Cat added.

"Hey, you and I both know Lily and James belong together, so don't give me that rubbish," Anna said to Cat while Lily blushed and tried to look angry at the same time. "And in regards to Remus, I am… well.." she struggled for words at this point; unusual because generally speaking Anna always had something to say.

"So you do like him like that, then?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Yes, of course I do or I wouldn't be making a fuss, would I?" Anna asserted, making a very good point.

"So what's the problem?" Cat asked.

"He's… Remus is… different," she replied slowly, actually thinking about what she was saying. "I can't just do what I normally do and flirt and kiss and what not. He deserves better than that."

"But he's just a normal guy, Anna. I think he'd be upset if you were to treat him any different," Lily pointed out.

"Really? He always seemed sort of different to the others. Like he was above their foolishness and stuff. I thought that maybe he would want someone who wasn't a complete flirt."

"You're right, I spose," Cat said, "He wouldn't want a complete flirt. But I think he would be flattered by you trying to impress him."

"Yeah," added Lily, "Try and impress him so that he knows you're impressing him on purpose, just don't go over the top. Ooh, and don't kiss on the first date." Cat raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

"So what you two are saying is that I should flirt with him and be myself but flatter him so that he gets the message?"

"That pretty much sums it up, yeah."

"Okay… so what about the hair, then? Too much?"

"No," Lily said, "I think it will be just the thing to get him to notice you."

"Good," Anna said delightedly, "Now let's get a move on with this homework, shall we? That defence essay is gonna be the death of me!"

* * *

A freshly showered James Potter was now sitting with Remus and Sirius in the library, doodling idly on a piece of parchment. They were supposed to be doing their Defence Against the Dark Arts essays but Remus was finishing some potions stuff first, and Sirius was off in la-la-land thinking about Cat. So they had time to spare. James was absently embossing the initials LE in the corner of his text book.

**Prongs, man, what are you doing?**

I'm not doing anything. I wish bloody Moony would hurry up.

**Me too, I have better things to do than sit around here. **

What, like meeting up with the lovely Catherine Jones?

**Yes, as a matter of fact.**

Well, I'm happy for you mate. Congrats!

**It took long enough, though.**

Yeah, that it did. Honestly, everyone else could see it…

**There's a bit of that going around at the moment**

**Come on, use your imagination.**

Nope, still nothing.

**You and Evans!**

What about us?

**Meant to be together, too blind to see it, etc, etc**

I know we're meant to be together. I'm not the blind one.

**Ohh, it seems Jamesie has changed his tune. I seem to recall you saying 'I just want to be friends with her'.**

Well I do want to be friends with her, then more than friends. But she wants to keep it at the aforementioned 'friends' level and I respect that.

**Respect? You respect the wishes of a girl who has, for the past seven years, repeatedly turned you down and made you feel like nothing?**

When you put it like that you make her sound mean

**She is**

No she isn't! You take that back!

**No. **

Sirius, take that back or I swear I cannot be held accountable for my actions.

**James, that girl has put you through hell. You've twisted yourself in knots trying to get her to notice you and, until this year, she wouldn't even give you the time of day. You may love her or whatever, but as your best mate, I feel entitled to dislike the girl who's caused you so much angst. **

**Are you not going to speak to me now?**

No

**No you aren't going to speak to me, or no you are?**

No, I am going to speak to you. I didn't say anything because it just occurred to me how lucky I am to have a mate like you.

**Hey now, don't get too touchy feely, Prongs! **

Don't worry. I'm not turning into a girl.

**Good, that would make things a bit awkward.**

We really are quite strange aren't we?

_Just a bit, yeah_

**Heya, Moony, finished that essay yet?**

_Yep, I just need to check over some minor details, but I'll get Lily to help me with that later._

**Ooh! Prongs has competition!**

You know how I was saying how lucky I was to have a friend like you?

**Yes, how could I forget?**

Well, I take it back.

_You two are so immature sometimes._

**We get it from hanging out with you, Moony.**

Point well proved.

_So are we going to get on with this DADA essay? _

**You're right. The sooner we start, the sooner we get to finish and do nothing.**

Somehow I don't think that's what he had in mind.

**He mightn't have, but I have a new girlfriend - yes GIRLFRIEND - who I'm very keen to spend time with. So let's get started.**

Okay.

* * *

That Sunday evening, Lily was sitting at her desk in the Heads' Common Room, scribbling away about ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics for her Runes class, when she heard a polite knock outside the portrait hole. Wondering who could be visiting her at eight thirty in the evening, she rose to the entrance and opened it.

"Hi Lily," Remus said, smiling at her.

"Hey Remus, James isn't back from quidditch yet, sorry," she apologised, stepping back and allowing him in, "But you can wait in here if you like?"

"Thanks," he accepted gratefully, "But actually I came to see you." Lily showed now signs of shock on her face but for a nanosecond wondered if he had approached her to talk about Anna.

"Really, what can I do for you?" she inquired politely, sitting down in one of the cushy arm chairs and gesturing for him to do the same.

"Have I interrupted your work?" he asked worriedly, glancing over towards her crowded desk.

"Nah, I needed a break from runes anyway. Have you done the questions on page sixty two?"

"Yep, did them last week. But I was wondering if you could help me with that potions essay? I just need to clarify a few points."

"Sure. I'll get mine and you can double check all the stuff you need," she smiled. As she searched her messy desk, she glanced briefly out of the window. It was properly dark now and she couldn't see a thing. Remus continued to talk about something or other. To be perfectly honest, Lily didn't much care - she was too preoccupied trying to find her essay. Then she remembered.

"Sorry, Remus. I think it's in my book bag upstairs, I'll be right back," she interrupted, dashing up the staircase and into her room. After about five seconds of rummaging she retrieved the elusive essay and retreated to the common room, to find three more people sitting around the merrily crackling fire with Remus.

"Lily-flower," Sirius declared, springing up off the couch and embracing her in a ridiculous bone-crushing-life-long-friends hug.

"Uh, Black?" she replied confusedly, sending her two best friends confused looks over his shoulder. Anna and Cat merely grinned back.

"We got bored and wanted to come visit," Anna said plainly, glancing briefly at Remus (something he conveniently missed, as he had taken Lily's essay and was now skimming it, eyes narrowed in concentration).

"And I wanted to come," Cat added.

"And I didn't think it was safe for them to come up here on their own," Sirius finished, releasing Lily and sitting back next to Cat. Lily noticed he was still in his quidditch gear.

"O-kay," she replied slowly, "And where's James?"

"Getting changed I expect," Sirius smirked, "Poor sod got knocked off his broom by Jono, but he's fine," he added, catching Lily and Remus' joint look of concern, "He should be up any minute." As if on cue, the portrait hole swung open and James clambered in, unaware of the full capacity of the common room.

"Prongsie!" Sirius yelled.

"What the?" James started, eyes wide. He noticed the multitude of people before him.

"Oh, Padfoot, it's you," he exclaimed, "Nearly gave me heart failure."

"Mate, that bludger's really put you on edge, hasn't it?"

"I thought we said what happens on the quidditch pitch stays on the quidditch pitch?"

"They already know." James glared briefly at Sirius before turning his attention to the rest of the room. He smiled at Lily first, and she experienced that pleasant yet unsettling swooping sensation in her stomach.

"Evening ladies," he inclined his head to Anna and Cat, "May I enquire as to why you're all currently camped out in our living room?"

"We got bored. And we finished all our homework before quidditch so we thought we'd visit Lily," Cat replied, "And we couldn't get rid of him," she jerked a thumb in Sirius' direction.

"Oh, you can't get enough of me, Jones," Sirius said playfully, making his way over to her before James arm stopped him.

"No funny business in the Heads' Common Room," he commanded jokingly, although everyone (bar Sirius and Cat) was glad he'd said it - their best friends snogging was not something they particularly needed to witness up close.

"There he goes again, ruining the fun," Cat said with a grin.

"Speaking of fun, does anyone want to play a game?" Anna asked with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Hold on," James said, "Lily, we're not interrupting anything are we?" he glanced, as Remus had done, at her desk piled high with work.

"Nope," she replied, touched at how James' first concern had been her and her studies, then confused because she had been James' first concern. "I've done everything that's due tomorrow at any rate, and I think we could all use a bit of down time." He smiled at her response.

"And done. Thanks Lils," Remus said, dotting the end of his essay with a flourish and handing Lily back her own essay.

"Right, now that everyone's done and dusted with their various stuff, how about a game of truth or dare?" Anna suggested.

"Don't you know any other good games?" Sirius complained.

"No, do you?"

"Well, no-"

"Then stop complaining," Anna replied, "Since you made me go first last time, Remus, I think you can start us off." Grinning a little, Remus spun the newly transfigured quill-bottle until it landed on...

"Cat! Truth or dare?"

"Truth," she replied in a lazy fashion from her position with her head in Sirius' lap.

"Okay. In terms of how he kisses, what animal would Sirius be?"

"What?!"

"Like, if you had to pick an animal that is most like Sirius when it comes to his snogging techniques, what would he be?" Sirius took this opportunity to glare at his friend.

"That, Remus, is a ridiculous question. Besides, we've only kissed a couple of times," protested Cat.

"Too bad, that's your question," Anna chipped in, giving Cat the opportunity to do her fair share of glaring.

"Okay fine. I suppose, in terms of technique… refined, delicate so maybe a swan-" at which point there was much sniggering from the rest of the company (except for Sirius, who thought it was rather a compliment).

"But for enthusiasm and, I don't know, passion? I'd also say maybe a puppy or overexcited dog," Cat concluded. Lily and Anna continued to laugh, as Cat had just likened her boyfriend's kissing skills to those of a dog, but the boys merely chuckled. If only Cat knew how right she was…

"Okay, my turn," she spun the bottle, "Anna banana!"

"Dare, thanks"

"Hmm. Okay, by the end of the night, you must acquire a piece of clothing from someone here tonight. And you can't use magic."

"That's a strange dare."

"You're a strange girl, I think you can cope," Cat retorted, grinning evilly as the three boys suddenly looked very nervous and wrapped their arms around themselves protectively.

"Don't worry, boys, she's got til the end of tonight," Lily said with a grin.

"Evans, no one said it applied only to the boys," Anna pointed out menacingly. Lily simply moved closer to James, pretending to hide behind his muscle-bound frame. Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance. Then it was Anna's turn to spin the bottle; it landed on Sirius.

"Ok. Same question for you as Remus gave to Cat," she announced.

"I didn't pick truth yet," he protested.

"Yeah, but your dare would be to answer the question anyway," Anna grinned.

"Fine. I suppose a …" he mumbled something inaudible, although Cat seemed to hear and gave him an appreciative smile.

"Sorry, what was that Black? Didn't quite catch that," Lily said.

"Trust me, his answer was satisfactory," Cat said.

"But-"

"Leave it, guys, it's private!" Cat ordered as Sirius spun the bottle. It landed on James, who promptly chose dare.

"I dare you to sneak down to the kitchens and bring us all back some snacks," she ordered.

"It's hardly sneaking, it's not even past curfew. And I'm head boy, I can get away with murder. Where's the risk?" he asked in mild disappointment.

"There isn't any risk, I'm just hungry after you made us miss dinner for training," Cat replied, "So off you go!" she waved him away.

"Okay, I'll just have my go first." He spun the bottle and it landed on Anna again.

"I choose truth."

"Remus, can you take this one? I can't think of any good questions. I'll go get the food," he called, without waiting for a response.

"Err, okay. How many siblings have you got?"

"Moony, that's not a truth question!" Sirius exclaimed in outrage, "Ask her something juicy, like who her last snog was or something." This comment earned him a slap on the knee from Cat.

"Okay, my last snog was Amos Diggory from the year above us. Last year, before the holidays," Anna said before Remus decided whether or not to ask the question.

"Oh my word! Really? You didn't tell us that!" Lily squealed. Amos had been the number one bachelor (aside from the marauders) last year - he was really rather handsome.

"Well, it was really just a fling so I didn't think it was worthy of mention," Anna admitted truthfully, spinning the bottle.

"I suppose I should choose dare," Lily said, knowing that her friends would protest that she had chosen truth last time.

"Cool! I dare you to kiss Sirius, on the lips. With or without tongue, it's up to you," Anna declared, folding her arms in what Lily assumed to be a triumphant position.

"You are joking, right?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Oi, I'm right here, Black. No need to personally insult me," Lily said pouting. As much as she didn't want to kiss the boy, she wasn't at all pleased with his lack of enthusiasm.

"A, I'm currently dating Cat, B, James would kill me and C, I'm currently dating Cat, Oh, and another thing, **James would kill me!**" he continued.

"Too bad, Black, it's her dare and she must see it through. Go on Lily," Anna encouraged.

"It's fine with me," Cat added, "Gives us something to talk about." Sirius gaped.

"My girlfriend is pimping me! What on Earth?"

"Oh, come on, it won't be that bad," Cat said reassuringly, "Just close your eyes and imagine it's me."

"And who am I supposed to imagine?" Lily demanded, "I don't like the idea of kissing my best friend's man!"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of someone," Anna replied. Lily shot her a dirty look before sighing.

"I guess we should get this over with then, no offence."

"None taken. Hold on," he readjusted himself so that he and Lily were facing each other properly. They leant in, nose-avoidance-tilting and all, and allowed their lips to briefly touch. It was made difficult by the fact that they weren't allowing themselves to use their hands to hold one another closer. The kiss itself lasted for a couple of seconds, during which their lips moved awkwardly against one another's, but those seconds were long enough for an innocent game of truth or dare to be completely misconstrued.

"What the?" James said upon entering the common room to find his best friend locking lips with the love of his life. It took all his self control not to walk right over to Sirius and punch his lights out. The remaining self control he had he focused on not dropping his acquired snacks everywhere. Remus was the first to spot him.

"James," he said eyes wide, drawing everyone's attention to his presence. James hastily rearranged his facial expression so that he didn't look as if the pit of his stomach had just dropped through the floor.

"Err, I got food," he said lamely, walking over to the circle and dumping it unceremoniously in the middle, where Lily and Sirius had quickly sprung apart.

"It was a dare," Anna spoke up from her position next to Remus.

"Yeah, so?"

"Don't be mad at me, mate, they made me do it," Sirius whispered in his ear while Lily looked pointedly away.

"Whose turn is it now?" James asked, fake smile plastered onto his face.

_Remember, you are just friends. You don't want her to know that you care for her in that way._

Before anyone could answer there was a yelp as suddenly Sirius wasn't wearing a shirt anymore. Anna sat victoriously - shirt in one hand, wand in the other.

"Dare completed," she grinned.

"Great, now can I have my top back?" Sirius asked.

"Nope, conditions of the dare. You may get it back when you leave," Anna replied smugly, "Use your girlfriend to keep you warm."

"Guys, I'm getting a bit tired," Lily lied, "Do you think we could finish up soon. Maybe do a truth question each and then go?"

"Sounds good to me," concurred James, who wanted nothing more right now than to be alone and brood on what he had witnessed. Dare or not, it was still an image burned firmly into his memory, one of his best friend and love of his life. How irritating.

"I may as well ask all the questions," Anna declared, "Remus, do you remember how last time I asked you if there was a girl you fancied at school?"

"Yes."

"Who is she?"

"I already answered one question, so I don't have to tell you," he said with a small smile.

"What? That's not fair!" Anna exclaimed.

"Yes it is. Besides, I'm not good enough for her so there's no need for me to dwell on it. Ask your next victim."

"Fine," Anna huffed, annoyed that she'd been cheated an opportunity to interrogate Remus about this mystery girl he liked. She needed to know so that she could suss out the competition and size up whether or not she could take her.

"Sirius, how many girls at Hogwarts have you actually been with?" she asked. Cat frowned. She wasn't sure if she was ready to hear this.

"You'll be surprised, Anna," James chipped in, "Padfoot is surprisingly gentlemanly." Anna scoffed.

"Actually, Anna, Prongs is right. I've only technically been in a relationship with seven girls at Hogwarts," Sirius said proudly.

"What!?" Cat exclaimed.

"Sorry, is that too many?" Sirius asked looking concerned.

"No, that's fine. It's just I thought you were Sirius Black ladies' man extraordinaire," she replied.

"Oh, I am, don't doubt that. I've had heaps of hook-ups but few serious relationships," he said smiling a little. He really amused himself with his puns.

"Ok," Cat said, "Just to clarify, this is definitely a relationship, right?" she pointed between them.

"Definitely," he murmured, leaning in for another kiss.

"Ahem," Lily cleared her throat loudly, "Let's move on, shall we?"

"Okay, Lily. This is a multi-faceted question so be prepared," Anna warned, "When you were kissing Sirius, who were you thinking about? Does he really kiss like a swan and/or dog? Did you enjoy it?"

"Anna, I think it's cheating if I have to answer all those questions in one go," Lily said blushing lightly. James was keeping a determinedly calm look on his face, but inside he was fit to punch something.

"Yes, you do otherwise what's the point in the game?"

"Fine. Yes he does kind of kiss like a swan coz he's so hesitant. But the dog thing didn't come across for me - probably due to lack of enthusiasm," she gave Sirius a pointed stare. He merely shrugged as if to say 'well, you're not Cat'.

"I don't mean to hurt your feelings Sirius, but I didn't really enjoy it," she added apologetically. Again he shrugged, "I didn't want you to - it'd be like signing my own death sentence if I made you enjoy it. Besides, I'm saving up for Cat."

"Fair enough," Lily replied, "Next question."

"Hold on, you didn't say who you were thinking about," Cat pointed out.

"Well, considering you already got two answers out of me, I don't really feel obliged to give you a third," Lily replied quite calmly, her eyes flickering nervously to James and back. Anna noticed this interaction but said nothing, simply continuing on with the questions.  
"Sirius, what are you most afraid of?"

"What? What sort of a question is that? I thought all your questions always related to emotions and feelings and relationships," he spluttered.

"What's wrong with asking if you have a phobia?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Padfoot here has a few little worries," James said, a smile spreading across his face, "For instance-"

"Don't you dare!" Sirius growled.

"What are you going to do, hex me?"

"Maybe."

"Look out for that sock puppet!"

"Where!"

"Right near that clown," James chuckled.

"Prongs, stop it!" Sirius said.

"Okay, okay," he waved his hands, "Sorry, mate, couldn't resist."

"So you have a phobia of sock puppets and clowns?" Anna mused, "Well, it could be worse… you could be afraid of the monster under the bed or something."  
"There's a monster under the bed?" Sirius asked, wide-eyed. Everyone chuckled at his discomfort, while Cat patted him on the arm and reassured him that, no there were not sock puppets, clowns or monsters under his bed and that she would personally check this before he went to sleep. He smiled gratefully, giving her a brief kiss on the forehead before everyone calmed down and the 'quick' round of questions continued.

"Remus, if you don't mind me asking, what is actually wrong with your mother?" Anna asked gently.

"She has a severe case of dragon pox, and she's fairly unstable," Remus lied easily, not even flinching.

"I hope she gets better soon," Cat offered.

"Well, perhaps by the end of the school year she will. I'll be able to look after her then anyway," Remus continued. He hated lying, but if he was going to keep his secret a secret he had to lie convincingly.

"Yeah, good luck with that mate," Sirius said seriously.

"Thanks. Now, who hasn't been questioned?"

"Me," Anna and James said at the same time.

"Right," Remus said, clapping his hands together conspiratorially, "Anna, why on Earth did you cut you hair, and tell the truth."

"Because I wanted a change-" she began, but Lily coughed loudly and shook her head, "Okay, fine, I'm trying to impress someone," Anna said quietly.

"Really, Anna banana, who?"

"Not telling, Black," she retorted, "And now it's James' turn."

"Can't I just have a dare?" he whined.

"Nope. Now, have you ever been in love?"

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Just answer the question. And remember, there's a difference between spending all your time professing your undying love for a person and actually being in love properly." Of course, Anna was referring to James' near constant declarations for Lily over the years; apparently they didn't count. _Well,_ thought James, _I suppose they don't really count because I was an immature berk back then. Now I've had time to stop and think about it though, I know that I actually do love Lily._

"Well, I love lots of people. Like my family, my friends, the keeper for Puddlemere United-"

"James, you know what I mean. Have you ever been in love?" James paused to consider his next words very carefully, ultimately deciding that since this was a game of truth or dare, he should really tell the truth.

"Yes," he said quietly, looking at the floor. Lily didn't know what to feel. Should she feel hopeful that he was talking about her? Should she feel disappointed that he was talking about someone else? Should she- wait, hold on, this is James Potter for Merlin's sake! She shouldn't be thinking about him like this.

_Bad Lily!_ she told herself. She must've been off in her own little world for quite a while, because when she snapped out of it, it was to see Anna waving a hand in her face.

"Helloooo, earth to Lily? Gee, you must be tired, you completely zoned out for a while," Anna said.

"Sorry guys," she mumbled, faking a yawn, "Well, guess it's time to call it a night." There was some awkward hugging between the two hosts and their guests, and then Lily was left (as usual) with James. Both were standing facing the portrait hole their friends had just exited through, and were unsure as to what to do next. It was only nine thirty for goodness sake!

"Well, that was interesting," Lily tried.

"Yeah, I spose. It's never a dull night with those guys," James replied, making his way over to his desk which was surprisingly neat and tidy. Lily followed suit, plonking down at her own desk.

"I thought you'd done all your homework already?" James asked curiously.

"I have. It's called revising, James, you might want to try it sometime," she joked.

"Hey! I'll have you know I have an entire revision schedule," he defended.

"Really?" Lily asked, taken aback.

"Yeah, I just don't use it," he grinned. Lily rolled her eyes in an amused fashion. They sat in companionable silence for a while, quills scratching away on parchment, occasionally turning pages and refilling ink pots. Then James asked Lily a question.

"Hey, have you done those questions Flitwick set us?"

"Yeah, why?" she looked up from her notes on the Hinkypunk.

"I'm stuck on the one about the _Fidelius_ charm. I don't get exactly how it's cast," he said, pointing to the diagram in his book.

"Oh," Lily said, getting up and crossing to stand beside him. She leant over his work, some of her red hair dangling onto the paper. She re-read the page for a minute.

"Okay, it's sort of like levitation. It starts with a swish and flick," she demonstrated, "But then there's this complicated bit, kind of like a figure eight and then," she continued, James watching her avidly.

"So, it's sort of like this," he attempted the confusing patterns with his own wand.

"Well sort of," Lily replied as he tried again. She was smiling at his efforts - he kept making the same mistake.

"No, look," she grabbed his wrist gently. Unfortunately for her, her heartbeat quickened to double its normal pace, and this made breathing rather difficult. _Darn it, Evans, get a grip!_

"So, you're flicking it a bit too much," she breathed, moving her small hand so that it partially covered his, "It's like this," and gently she moved his hand in time with hers. A warmth spread through James' hand, signifying that the spell was correct. But that wasn't the only reason.

"Thanks, Lily. I'm really quite rubbish at charm work," he said sheepishly as she removed her hand from his.

"Oh you are not, and you know it," she said with a smile, "That one's just a bit tricky, is all."

"Well, hopefully I'll never have to use it," he grinned.

"I could always help," she suggested quietly. _Shit! I just implied that in the future I will be on good terms with Potter. Lily Evans stop making promises you can't keep! And stop talking to yourself, before they cart you off to St Mungo's!_

"Thanks," he replied in equally soft tones, "Lily?"

"Yeah?" she answered a bit quickly.

"I was just wondering, you know…" he looked away awkwardly, as if not really sure if he wanted to ask her this question. Lily seemed to guess - who knew how! - what James was going to ask her about.

"Is this about that game of truth or dare?" she asked, returning to her seat.

"Well, yes," he said a little sheepishly, "I was just, I mean… are you sure you didn't enjoy it?"

"What, the kiss with Black?"

"Yeah, coz most girls go crazy for his kisses.""

"Well, I'm not most girls," Lily said defiantly.

"I know," he replied in that deeply seductive tone, and Lily found that she would like nothing more than to leap over their two desks and snog him senseless. But she managed to restrain herself.

"Is that all?" Lily asked, trying to keep her mind off of the quidditch player's lips.

"Yeah, I spose," he began, "Unless you wanted to tell me who it was you were thinking about when you were kissing him," he said hesitantly.

_God, he's arrogant,_ Lily thought to herself. _He must think I was picturing him.  
__  
Well you were imagining him,_ said that annoyingly contrary voice in her head.

_Yes, but he doesn't need to know that. _

_Oh, where's the harm in telling him?_

_I don't want his head to explode after inflating his already overlarge ego._

_Fair enough, I wouldn't want that gorgeous face to explode either - I like looking at it too much!_

_You are just a little weird. _

_Weird? I'm not the one talking to myself darling. _

_I am you so you're as bad as me so there!_

Oh, very mature, the annoying voice continued,_ Speaking of which, why don't you just tell him you want to snog him all night long?_

_Again, may I remind you of the ego?_

_Yes, but that's not a particularly convincing reason. _

_Okay then, what about his arrogant behaviour, lack of responsibility, complete lack of-_

_We've heard this one before and have firmly established that he has changed. You are being a little bit stubborn. _

_Says you, you won't leave me alone!_

_I will now, though, coz pretty boy is staring at you with concern. Probably for your mental health. He should be concerned…_

Lily snapped out of her reverie (for the second time that evening) and saw that James was indeed watching her with a look of vague concern on his face.

"Are you okay, Lily?" he asked. She nodded hastily, not saying anything.

"You know, you don't have to tell me who you were thinking about. I was just curious. Never mind," he said hurriedly, looking down at his books again. Lily could see that his eyes weren't moving though.

"James, if you really want to know who I was thinking about, I'll tell you," Lily said quietly, scrutinizing him with her emerald eyes. He looked up at her, gazing back as if tossing up all the pros and cons of finding out.

_If it's not me she was thinking about do I really want to know? And if it is me, will admitting it make things awkward between us? Well, more awkward than things are already…_

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't have asked," he said finally, not looking back at his work, but keeping his eyes firmly on Lily to see how she would take it. She blinked a couple of times, her eyebrows raising slightly, but all she said was "Okay."  
They both looked back at their respective pieces of homework, and continued to work for about half and hour. Lily was the first to rise, stretching her arms and arching her back. James tried not to stare, but it was a bit hard when she was standing practically in front of him. She caught him looking and smiled a little.

"I'm gonna go to bed now. Don't want to be tired for double potions tomorrow," she said, collecting her stuff.

"Yeah, good point actually. I'll get going in a couple of minutes, I just want to finish this chapter," he replied, gesturing to the thick volume he had been pouring over.

"Okay, see you in the morning, James."

"Sweet dreams, Lily."  
She walked over to the staircase, but paused and turned to face him once more.  
"Oh, and James?" he looked up, "Just so you know. You're a much better kisser than Black," she turned and climbed the stairs. James just stared after her, mouth open a little in shock.

Had she just? Did that mean? They hadn't discussed their hypothetical kiss at all since it had occurred (not that they had really had the opportunity - it doesn't exactly come up in casual conversation). But James decided to dismiss all further thought of the confusing situation they had found themselves in. Tonight he would not worry about whether or not Lily liked him or how he could possible woo her whilst retaining her friendship. No, tonight only one thought was going through the arrogant boy's head.

_Yep, I've still got it._

AN - Apologies for another fluff/catch-up chapter - they're just more fun to write. and also, i'm struggling for a plot a little bit.

I'm thinking I might add in some Voldemorty stuff - like him killing off someone's family, or sending them letters trying to get them to join the dark side, but i don't know. if anyone has any suggestions, they would be muchly appreciated.

Thank you again for all you fabulous reviews - i can't tell you how much they mean to me!! so keep it up, lol

thanks again for sticking with this romantic fluffy stuff that i have the audacity to call a story! :)

* * *


	22. Worrying News and a Trip to Hogsemeade

**Disclaimer:** If I was JK, more characters in this chapter would be dead... No offence to JK! So, suffice it to say, I do not own Harry Potter.

**AN:** So here is my plot driven chapter. Potential spoilers for the Deathly Hallows although I highly doubt you'd be reading this if you hadn't already read it. if you haven't read it yet, GO!! READ! Anyway, this chapter is long and sad and I'm not sure if I got all the emotions right. But hey, you're reading it anyway, so thanks!!  
Also Mould-on-the-Wold was mentioned in the Deathly Hallows as an all-magical community, so I used it. I didn't make it up.

Also thanks to all you wonderful reviewers and your offers of help - particularly to smiley011095 who suggested some sirius/regulus stuff, and tennisqueen69 who offered to help with the POV stuff - sorry, but i had to get this chapter out first! next time I will try to remember to send you stuff before hand! and also thanks to all of you who said you thought more voldemorty stuff was good and didnt mind me killing people off. because here's the warning - some people may die in the following chapter (but not main characters so dw!)

but enough of my ridiculous rambling! Enjoy! :)

* * *

**Chapter 21 - Worrying News and a Trip to Hogsmeade:**

Several weeks had passed since the awkward game of truth or dare, and surprisingly it would seem that Lily, Cat and Anna had become quite friendly with the Marauders. Peter was hardly ever there - who knew what he was getting up to these days? - so really it was like they had paired off; Cat with Sirius, Head Boy with Head Girl, leaving Anna with Remus.

Of course, James and Lily spending more time with one another invariably led to more opportunities to bicker ("No, Potter, quidditch is not more important than your NEWTS or Heads' duties"… "No, Evans, we are not scheduling another bloody Saturday meeting!").

Although Sirius wouldn't admit it, he liked things best when they were arguing - it reminded him of how things used to be. He was a fairly nostalgic type, was Sirius, and although he wanted his best mate to be happy, he didn't really think it healthy that James still fancied the girl that had repeatedly ripped his confidence (not to mention his heart) to shreds.

The first week of December was drawing close, and the entire school was buzzing with excitement at the prospect of another Hogsmeade visit. However, the week leading up to the trip was not without its problems. Upon reading their papers on Tuesday morning, the wizarding community would discover terrible news…

* * *

Always early to rise, Lily was the first of her group to be at the breakfast table that morning. She was sitting in her usual position, buttering her toast and wondering where the Headmaster was, when the rest of the group sauntered in. A small brown owl deposited her paper before her and she placed a knut in the leather pouch attached to its leg before it flew off. She unfurled her paper to see a photograph of what appeared to be the scene of a hurricane; houses uprooted, bodies strewn on footpaths and general chaos. It did not require a heading, but the subtitle simply read _'Mass slaughter in small wizarding community, Mould-on-the-Wold leaves sixty dead and many more injured. Ministry suspect Death-Eater Involvement'._

Lily gasped at the news, her eyes filling instantly with tears. How could someone do this? How could one person be so callous and uncaring as to murder so many innocents? She heard her friends' voices drifting over to her, but she was unable to tear her eyes away from the article before her-

"_It is suspected that the attack was coordinated, but not carried out, by You-Know-Who. Several individuals are being questioned and held in Azkaban pending further investigation. The Ministry have yet to clear up the devastation left behind, but it is estimated that over sixty people, predominantly from magical families, have been killed. The area was one of the few all-wizard communities left in Britain and it is surprising that You-Know-Who would attack them. The list of the known dead are…"_ but Lily did not read on. She did not want to. Also, at this point a warm hand touched her shoulder, gently shaking her back into reality. She looked up, teary eyed, to see Remus shaking her with a genuinely concerned look in his face. She gestured miserably to the paper, which Remus quickly scanned, letting out a soft "oh," and sitting dumbstruck beside her. The rest of the gang, sensing that something was wrong, crowded around and read the article over their shoulders. Anna gasped, James swore under his breath but Cat's eyes widened and she very nearly collapsed. Luckily, Sirius supported her with his strong quidditch-playing arms. They shared a look during which his eyes widened and he, like James, swore strongly. He then hurried them both out of the Great Hall.

"Where do you suppose they're off to?" someone commented.

Lily looked up, "Oh my God, no!" she said, running out of the Great Hall after Cat and Sirius.

"Oh Holy Merlin," Anna whispered softly, getting up to follow them.

"What's going on?" asked James, bewilderedly.

"Cat's family live there," Anna said, her blue eyes flooding with tears as she raced after them. Remus and James simply looked at each other, completely at a loss for what to say. Then one of them gave a sort of half gesture with his head or shoulder, and they followed the rest out of the hall, to the Headmaster's office.

* * *

Cat had entered the Headmaster's office - thankfully Lily had known the password - but had gone alone. She did not need her friends to see her break down if she was to receive the seemingly inevitable bad news.

"Miss Jones," Dumbledore said sadly as though he had known she was coming, "I was about to send for you. Please take a seat." Catherine sat down in a velvet armchair facing the Headmaster, silently. She was unable to speak for fear seemed to be choking her airway, causing a hard lump to form in her throat.

"I take it you have seen the article in today's paper?" he asked. Cat merely nodded,

"And that there was no mention of your family in the known dead?"

Cat swallowed and nodded again - she did not like the way he had emphasised the 'known' part of that sentence.

"I am terribly sorry to be the one to have to inform you, but your father and your uncle Ivan were killed in the attack," he said, staring at her with his clear blue eyes.

"Your mother managed to transfigure a teapot into a portkey, and consequently saved herself and your younger brother. They are currently under protection at a hidden location, despite the fact that the attack seemed unprovoked and without purpose." He paused, while Cat cried freely. Once she had managed to calm down a little bit, Dumbledore continued.  
"The Ministry have not yet found their bodies, which is why they are not yet on the list of the known dead, and why you have not been sent a letter by the appropriate departments."

"How- how do you know that, that they- I mean, how do you?" Cat stuttered, unable to look up at him.

"Your father and your uncle were members of a secret organisation whose aim it was to prevent You-Know-Who from gaining power and wreaking havoc within and outside of the wizarding world. The Order of the Phoenix. I founded the order, which is how I know of their deaths." The was a short pause while Cat hurriedly wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  
"I want you to know, Catherine, that your father died bravely, trying to defend his family and the magical community from a very dark and evil opponent. He was valiant and true right to the very end, don't forget that."

"Thank you, professor," Cat replied with a watery half-smile.

"I have arranged for you to be floo-ed to be with your mother and brother at their safe house. You will stay there for the remainder of the week for a private ceremony and will return on Friday afternoon. I will tell your closest friends of your absence as I assume you would rather like to leave now, am I correct?" to which Cat just nodded again.

"Thank-you, sir," she said upon stepping into the grate. Dumbledore simply smiled and muttered the address of the safe house. After hearing the familiar _vwoosh_ of the fireplace, the Headmaster crossed the room and opened the door.

"You may come up now," he called softly down the revolving staircase. He replaced himself back behind his desk and conjured some extra chairs as the five concerned looking students filed into his office. How he had known they would be there was a very Dumbledore-y mystery.

James shut the door gently behind them and took a seat next to Lily, placing a hand briefly on her shoulder for comfort, but Lily hardly felt a thing. She was numb all over. Dumbledore proceeded to explain Cat's situation and her current whereabouts to the group, pausing here and there allowing them to blow their noses or wipe away their tears. When he was done he asked Lily and James to stay behind to discuss Heads' business. Sirius looked very much as if he'd like to linger and discuss things with the Headmaster, but he decided against it. Cat needed her family more than she needed him at the moment - despite how close they had become.

"As you are both aware, there is a Hogsmeade visit this weekend for third year students and above. Given the current situation, that is to say the volatile instability of the magical community at the present moment, I would like to ask your opinions on whether or not we should allow the trip to go ahead," he said gravely, fingers steepled together in front of him. Lily opened her mouth to speak, but found that there were no words coming out. She closed her mouth again and looked up at James.

"I don't want to discredit the gravity of the situation, Professor, because what happened today was a terrible thing," he began, "But surely Hogsmeade has some sort of protections about it - particularly when students are visiting, am I right?"

"Yes, James, you're correct," Dumbledore nodded approvingly.

"Well, then I would probably suggest that the visit go ahead as planned. Because, after news like this," he referred to the events of the past day, "They will probably welcome the distraction."

"Well spoken, James, and I happen to agree with you," Dumbledore said seriously, "Do you agree, Miss Evans?" Lily nodded dumbly, her eyes unfocused even though she had been listening to James. She was just having trouble wrapping her head around what had happened.

"Thank you both. I will conduct a meeting with the prefects this evening to bring them up to date with who in their house has been affected by the attacks and how to approach the situation. Your presence will not be necessary. Classes today will continue as usual, but I do not expect your teachers to be unsympathetic if you prefer to stay in your dormitories. You're dismissed."

* * *

**Sirius' Occlumency Diary:**

Cat's father is dead. I can hardly believe it. That man was incredible. I have met him a few times, when Cat and I have both been at the Potter's during the holidays. Cat speaks about him all the time. Apparently he was fantastic at charms and transfiguration and had practically constructed their whole house from scratch. He worked for the Magical Law-Enforcement Squad for a while, but from what I could gather, he quit after a disagreement with the ministry and instead worked for a small, independent quidditch team outside of Liverpool - I think he was their coach. This would've been a part time thing, I think, but every time I saw him we'd have great conversations about the beautiful game. I wouldn't be surprised if he was actually a commentator on the Wizarding Wireless, actually. I should've asked.

But as much as Mr Jones was a great guy, that's not why I'm writing in this diary. I'm writing coz I'm worried about Cat. Well done, Sirius, state the obvious - you're worried about your girlfriend who has just lost her father, what a shocker!

But seriously (no pun intended) I don't know what to do. Cat doesn't deserve this. I mean, no one deserves to have their family ripped away from them (except maybe Snivellus) but especially not Cat. She has a friggen heart of gold, for Merlin's sake!

The thing that really eats me up is that my family, my stupid purist muggle-hating family, support this sort of shit! For all I know they could've had a hand in it! As far as I know, my parents aren't Death Eaters yet but they probably follow this 'Dark Lord' like sheep. As for my extended family, I have no doubt that they were involved. My deranged cousin Bella, from what I've heard, is practically in love with You-Know-Who.

I feel sick.

Okay, I just was sick. James asked me what's wrong.

But I can't tell him that I think my family probably helped to destroy the lives of sixty odd people, including that of my girlfriend, can I?

I know Cat wouldn't blame me personally, she's too good for that sort of thing, but it'd always be there in the back of her mind if I told her. Hell, it's always gonna be there in the back of my mind. Every time I see her, every time we talk, touch, kiss.

Was just sick again. But I think that's the lot.

James is now giving me strange looks - I suppose I'm not really known for writing in diaries (or being sick everywhere) - I think I'll take this somewhere else.

Great, something else to worry about. I'm currently sitting under the beech tree near the lake, where we marauders are known to hang out, but on my way down here I passed a bunch of sixth year Slytherins. I was under James' cloak so they couldn't see me but I could hear them. I stopped to eavesdrop because when you're in Gryffindor, it's best to know what those sneaky slime balls are getting up to. Upon closer inspection, I realised I recognised some of the faces. There was Nott, Mulciber, Pucey, Bletchley and my stupid younger brother Regulus.

They were talking in hushed voices about the attack:  
Mulciber: The Dark Lord's star is rising. He orchestrated the whole attack.  
Nott: Now is the time to join the movement, wipe out mud blood scum, make our families proud.  
Mulciber: My father is already a member, he has been branded and he encouraged me to do the same.  
Reg: What will he ask of us? We're still in school and although we may be keen to fight, what can we do?  
Nott: That's not important, what is of importance is that we join without delay.  
Reg: But how can we do that at school?  
Bletchley: There's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend - we won't be under constant supervision. You guys have your apparition licences, yeah?  
Pucey: Good idea, mate. Let's apparate to a safe distance and join up.  
Mulciber: Now that's settled, let's go tell the others, they'll want to come too.

And then they left.

I can't believe my brother would do something so stupid. I mean, he's always been desperate to please our parents. But he was already the angle child by comparison with me in Gryffindor, affiliating with half-bloods and muggle-borns. I just can't believe that he is capable of murder or even torture. He's better than that. I know he's a Black and he's expected to be an evil piece of muggle-hating scum, but he's not. He's a foolish, crowd-following git. He probably likes the idea of power or influence.

Surely he must realise what he's getting himself into? He will join and then regret it, try to pull out and will be killed for insubordination or disobedience or something.

I don't want my brother to die.

I need to stop him from joining.

I need my friends' help.

* * *

Harry stared at his Godfather's teenage handwriting, wondering vaguely how his diary, like Remus', had gotten mixed up in his parents' things. He knew what would've happened on that Hogsmeade visit. Undoubtedly the Marauders had failed to prevent Regulus from joining the ranks of the Death Eaters. But it was startling to see Sirius display such concern for his brother, who he had rarely referred to, and when he had it was with disdain or disgust. Sirius' strong desire to save his brother was moving, and Harry felt a sudden surge of affection for his late Godfather. He wished he still had the Resurrection Stone so that he could talk to him once more, but he didn't and it would not do to dwell on such things.

* * *

By Thursday afternoon, Remus, James and Peter all knew of Sirius' news (it had been a difficult story for Sirius to tell) and all had decided to help out, despite the fact that Regulus took every opportunity to deny being related to Sirius and, indeed, showed very few signs of actually loving him.

But Sirius was willing to overlook this because, when it came down to it, Regulus was just his misguided younger brother who deserved protection and needed someone to look out for him.

"So what's the plan?" Peter asked the group somewhat nervously. The idea of approaching Slytherins in an unsupervised area was more than a little daunting.

"Well, basically we need to get Regulus on his own. We can't approach him in front of their group because firstly, it'd put us in danger and, secondly, Regulus is not going to even consider what Sirius has to say in front of his group," Remus stated matter-of-factly.

"Okay, so should we hex him or something?" Sirius asked.

"Mate, I don't think that's gonna put him in the right frame of mind for negotiations, somehow," James pointed out.

"Then what do we do?" Sirius asked in frustration.

"How about we wing it?" James suggested.

"Do you reckon that'll work?" Remus asked sceptically.

"Well, I don't think there is a sure-fire way of stopping him from joining if that's what he really wants to do," James began, but upon catching Sirius' expression he continued, "But I don't think we can really plan it much coz we don't know what they're doing or where they're going."

"I spose James is right. We'll just have to play it by ear," Remus sighed, running a hand through his sandy-coloured hair. Sirius merely grumbled his assent.

"Aren't we hanging out with the girls at Hogsmeade?" James asked suddenly.

"Prongs, I think my brother joining You-Know-Who and the ranks of his Death Eater army is a bit more important that hanging out with the girls," Sirius said moodily.

"Yeah, I know that Padfoot, but what about Cat?" James pointed our gently. This made Sirius stop and think - she would need his support, protection, and whatever even though she would never admit to it. Remus took advantage of this silence by suggesting his idea.

"Why don't we tell the girls to get their Christmas shopping out of the way while we tail Regulus and the Slytherins. That way we can use the excuse that we don't want them to see what we buy them, and we can meet up with them later."

"Moony, it's no wonder you're the brains behind the operation - you understand girls just a bit too well," James grinned, before a pillow was chucked at his head. The situation had lightened considerably with the prospect of being able to actually help Sirius and his brother. Additionally, Cat was to return the following day, along with those others whose families had been hit, and this cheered Sirius somewhat.

* * *

"Lily, stop playing with it, it's fine," Anna reprimanded the red head with a slap on the hand where she was nervously creating a hole in the sleeve of her jumper.

"I just, I'm just nervous, I just want…." Lily struggled to find the right words, whilst rubbing her hand where Anna had slapped her.

"I know. We just need to be here for her and not to pressure her to talk about anything she doesn't want to, okay?"

"Fine," she replied shortly. They were standing at the foot of the Headmaster's revolving staircase, waiting for their friend. Sirius and the boys said that they would meet them in the Heads' Common Room after the girls had had a chance to catch up. There was about a minute of silence between the two girls, before the gargoyle moved suddenly to one side and there stood Cat before them. She smiled weakly, but there were no tears in her eyes. Lily doubted that she would have any left after the past couple of days.

"Hey guys," Cat said. The other two did not respond verbally, they simply embraced their bereaved friend in a group hug. Cat's body shook as she managed to suppress yet more tears. After a minute or so, they broke apart and began to head back towards Lily's room. On the way, Cat mentioned that she didn't really want to talk about her dad and that she would really appreciate it if they could act as though things were normal. She wasn't in denial - what had happened had definitely happened and she accepted that - but right now she needed comfort, and she found comfort in normality. Understandable, really.

The boys had been equally nervous about Cat's return. They had rarely had to deal with a loss like this with two exceptions, one being Peter, whose father had abandoned his mother after Peter's birth - but that didn't really count as a great loss. From what the boys could tell, Peter's father had been a bit of a dead beat. Sirius was pacing back and forth nervously.

_Should I tell her that I think my family was involved?_

_No, don't be a stupid arse! She needs your comfort and protection at a time like this, not your admission of guilt by association._

_But I feel dishonest._

_It's not dishonesty, it's tact and …_

_And what?_

_And being appropriate to the circumstances. Just wait a while before you open your big mouth and say something that could potentially ruin the best thing you've ever had._

_That's selfish._

_No, it's necessary._

James, who seemed to have noticed his friend's internal struggle, reached over and placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder.

"Mate, telling her what you told us isn't going to make you or her feel any better. Just be there for her, okay?" to which Sirius nodded. He could always rely on James.

The portrait hole swung open and the three girls filed in, one after the other. Lily and Anna walked a little way into the room, but Cat stood in the doorway, as if preparing herself.

"Guys, thanks for all being here for me and stuff, but I don't want to talk about it and I'd really like it if we could act like nothing has happened, ok?" she asked. The boys simply nodded - they had assumed that, being a girl, she would want to talk about her feelings. Well, James hadn't thought that at all - he understood the emotional rollercoaster Cat must be on at the moment, and perhaps one day he'd discuss it with her. But not now. Now they all needed a distraction.

"Wizard karaoke!" Sirius announced out of the blue. Everyone just looked at him, concerned for his mental health.

"Black, what are you on?" Lily asked as though Sirius had just announced he was going to ride his broomstick to the moon and set up a joke shop there.

"I think that it's just the thing to do at a time like this," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders, producing a small portable wizarding radio from behind his back.

"You know, you really are something else," Cat said, a small smile creeping onto her face.

"So I've been told," Sirius replied, setting the radio down and crossing the room in three large strides, embracing Cat in a hug as possessive as it was comforting.

The others made their way over to the good old couch and chairs around the fireplace and began to set up for this 'wizard karaoke' that Sirius had suggested. They passed the afternoon and well into the night playing this stupid game which, Sirius had pointed out, wasn't 'bloody truth or dare'.  
They didn't stop for dinner, instead having Ellie the house-elf bring it up for them. She really was a rather adorable addition to the house-elf staff at Hogwarts, Lily had to admit. She worked in the kitchens but was specifically designated to cater to the needs of the Head Boy and Girl. It really was exceedingly convenient. Not to mention this particular elf had a sixth sense and had brought up seven sleeping bags for the teenagers so that they could all spend the night together rather than in their separate rooms. After thanking the little elf, the gang organised themselves in a big long row - Remus, Anna, Sirius, Cat, Lily, James, Peter. Peter slept closest to the fireplace, because truth be told he was a little bit scared of the dark.

The majority of them fell into a peaceful slumber as soon as their heads hit the pillow - it had been an emotionally draining week, after all. Lily, however, lay staring at the ceiling thinking about the impending war. Or had the war already started? James, to her left, was thinking similar thoughts. He sighed deeply, and Lily chanced a glance at him. In the darkness she could see that his eyes, like hers were open and were currently staring at the ceiling. Sensing her gaze, James turned his head and looked at her. She smiled a little sadly and James could sort of make out the emotions on her face. He slipped his hand out of his warm sleeping bag, and gently took Lily's hand, which was lying limply by her side. He went back to staring at the ceiling, as did she, and they fell asleep like that - holding hands.

* * *

The next day was the much anticipated Hogsmeade visit. The boys had explained to the girls why they wanted to hang out separately for a bit at the start of the day - to which Cat had pouted a little, but said nothing - and then they would rejoin for lunch at the Three Broomsticks and then spend the remainder of the afternoon together.

**The Girls:**

"Nothing like a bit of retail therapy to brighten up your day," Anna remarked as the trio walked up the High Street - they had already parted ways with the boys at Hogwarts and were now deciding which shops to enter.

"Yeah, it'd be a great form of therapy if we weren't forced to part with our hard earned galleons," Lily pointed out shrewdly, getting a small chuckle out of Cat.

"Well, are we going to waste this time shopping for ourselves or get the Marauders their Christmas presents?" Anna asked, slightly annoyed that Lily had just disrespected one of her favourite pastimes.

"Hold on, since when do we buy presents for the Marauders?" Lily asked, a little shocked.

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, Lily, but I happen to be dating one of them," Cat pointed out.

"And we've been spending a lot of time with them lately," Anna added, "They are kind of our friends now." Lily nodded in agreement, she had momentarily forgotten this. After all, she had spent six solid years reprimanding the bunch for their stupid pranks and generally annoying behaviour, it was strange to suddenly be referring to them as friends.

"Okay, so what are we going to get them? Individual presents, yeah?" the other two nodded in agreement.

"Cool, let's start with Zonko's, then, we'll definitely find something they'll like in there," Anna grinned mischievously, grabbing Cat and Lily by the wrist and dragging them behind her.

**The Boys:**

"Look, there they are," Sirius whispered from under the invisibility cloak, pointing to the pack of young boys hurrying down towards the Hogs' Head.

"Let's go," James said, leading the four of them, crouched uncomfortably low under the cloak, after the soon to be Death Eaters.

"Do you think a tripping jinx would be good about now?" Remus asked.

"No, too obvious," James said as they hurried, "We have to get Regulus on his own." It seemed the Slytherins were nearing their target, for they had begun to slow down, and Sirius saw this as his last chance. He boldly stepped out from under the cloak.

"Oi, Reggie!" he called. Regulus spun around at the sound of his despised older brother's voice. His look of shock was quickly replaced with one of anger.

"What do you want?" he demanded, his fellow Slytherins turning around as well, backing their smallest member.

"I need a word," Sirius said brusquely, stepping forward to grab his brother's arm and drag him away. But no sooner had he placed a hand on Regulus' arm, did he feel an electric shock through his entire body. Mulciber had hexed him - Sirius stumbled backwards, drawing out his own wand so quickly none of them had time to even think about disarming him before he placed the body-bind curse on four of the five boys. James, Remus and Peter managed to restrain themselves from helping Sirius; they knew that this was something he had to do on his own.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Regulus shouted at Sirius, drawing out his own wand.

"Don't make me hex you, Regulus," the older Black warned in a low voice.

"What do you want?" Regulus repeated. Sirius simply grabbed his brother roughly by the upper arm and dragged him out of sight of the Slytherins who were unable to move.

"What do you think you're doing with that lot?" Sirius asked, getting straight to the point.

"They're my friends, idiot. And it's none of your business anyway."

"I know what you're doing," Sirius said, face completely grave. Regulus paled a bit, but maintained his nerve.

"So?" he retorted defiantly.

"So?" Sirius replied incredulously, "You're about to join the ranks of the darkest wizard of our time, become one of his killing machines, his puppet, and all you have to say is so?" Regulus drew himself up to full height.

"I am doing the right thing," he said defiantly, "I will make our parents proud."

"By killing? By torturing innocent people?" Sirius spluttered, eyes wide, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh, why do you even care?" Regulus yelled.

"Because I'm your brother!" Sirius returned his anger.

"You stopped being my brother when you left home!" Regulus yelled. There was a deafening silence that followed, during which the two stared at each other, breathing heavily. Sirius looked as though he had been slapped in the face. Then Regulus turned on his heel and ran off, presumably to release his friends and continue with their plans.

"Mate," Sirius could hear James' voice from behind him and slowly turned around, readjusting his facial expression before he did so.

"I don't want to talk about it," he said shortly. The other three boys looked at one another quickly before Remus said "Okay, let's go and get this shopping over with, then, before we meet the girls for lunch."

Sirius nodded his consent and the foursome walked back up towards the High Street.

* * *

Later that day, when both parties had completed their shopping, they made their way towards the Three Broomsticks for something to eat. The girls arrived, arms weighed down with shopping bags, to find the Marauders huddled against the cold in a largish booth behind the Christmas tree in the centre of the room. Each was cradling a butterbeer in his hand, except for Sirius who had somehow managed to acquire a fire whiskey. Lily raised her eyebrows at James, but he merely shook his head telling her to let this one slide.

"Hey guys, have a good morning?" Anna asked brightly, sliding into a spare seat next to Remus.

"Define good," Sirius muttered as Cat sat down next to him.

"I take it you don't enjoy shopping then," Anna remarked.

"Well, really it's just an exercise in parting you from your money," James said sceptically, while Lily nearly choked on her own drink, "Although I do appreciate the fine art behind the creation of a good joke shop."

"So are you girls hungry? Because we ordered lunch for you," Remus said. Anna smiled appreciatively, "Thanks Remus."

"No worries," he smiled. The others shared raised eyebrows at this little exchange before them. Peter cleared his throat loudly. Cat snuggled up to Sirius and placed his arm around her shoulder; she could sense something was wrong.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him quietly. He shook his head, feeling bad that he was worrying about his own troubles when his girlfriend had just lost a parent.

"Let's eat, shall we?" he said with an attempt at a smile, as their food arrived. It was cold outside and they tucked in hurriedly, not leaving much room for conversation. Lily was slightly disgusted by the gusto with which the boys ate their food. But she refrained from commenting when she noticed her two best friends eating with similar enthusiasm. It seemed that she was the only one without an appetite. Well, her and Peter. Clearly they were both bothered by something but were making a token effort by pushing their food around their plates. James noticed this (the boys really were more observant than the girls gave them credit for) but didn't comment. Today seemed to be the day of things unsaid.

They exited the Three Broomsticks as a group, making small talk about the quidditch and generally making an effort to enjoy themselves.

"Are you kidding? The Falmouth Falcons are terrible!" James exclaimed.

"I seem to remember having this conversation with you already, James. As previously established, the Pride of Portree are by far a worse team," Lily pointed out.

"Of course they're worse, they've got a rubbish seeker," Sirius stated.

"Yeah, but I think that the chasers on the Falcons bring down the whole calibre of the team," James persisted, "Which makes them the weakest team in the league.

"Nah, it's definitely the Wimbourne Wasps," Cat said, "No two ways about it."

"You would say that, you support the Harpies," Sirius stated shortly.

"Well, I'm gonna play for them someday, so you watch what you say about them, Black," she warned, prodding him in the chest. He grabbed her wrist, however, and spun her so that she was facing him. Their bodies were pressed flush up against one another, and they stared into each others eyes for a long moment before kissing passionately right there in the middle of the High Street.

"Right, we'll see you guys later," Lily said, leading the remaining group away from the couple.

"Actually, I think I forgot something. For my mum," Peter said, "I'll meet you guys back up at the castle."

"Okay, Pete, see you later," James replied.

"Remus, I want to show you something in, uh, Scrivenshaft's," Anna said, "Come on. See you guys later!" Remus paused to give her a confused look, but when she looked pointedly at James and Lily he got the message.

"Okay, see you later," he called, grinning at Anna, pleased to be a part of the conspiracy. They hurried off back up the High Street, Anna comfortably slipping her arm through his.

"They seem to be getting cosy," James remarked as he and Lily continued back towards Hogwarts.

"Hmm?" Lily had been thinking about Sirius' strange mood during lunch, "What?"

"I said, Remus and Anna are getting quite close," James replied, regarding Lily with interest. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering what was wrong with Sirius before. He seemed kinda down."

"Well, Cat's just lost her father."

"Yeah, but that's not it, though. What's wrong with him?" she asked, fixing James with her green-eyed stare.

"Why are you so interested in Padfoot all of a sudden?" he asked, frowning. Really, first he sees her kissing him (albeit for a dare) and now she's asking questions about his well-being. Sure, she's a lovely caring person, but since when did she pay that much attention to trouble-making Sirius Black.

"I'm interested because he's dating my best friend and, I suppose, he's my friend now too," she said irritably, "Why does it matter?"

"It doesn't."

"Good, then tell me what's wrong with him."

"It's not really my place to-"

"Is it something to do with his family?" she asked bluntly.

"What the? How did you know?" he asked dumbly.

"Come on, James. He comes from a family of muggle-haters, there's a massive attack on muggle-supporters, Cat's family is affected. I'm not stupid, you know," she replied logically. James sighed heavily.

"He's worried that his family were involved."

"And were they?" she asked, but in a curious way, not a judgemental I'm-going-straight-to-Cat-with-this-information kind of way.

"We don't know yet. You know Sirius left home a while ago, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes, I know, I just wasn't sure. Does he still speak to his brother?"

"No. In fact, that's part of the problem." James paused, not sure if he really felt comfortable discussing his best friend's family issues with Lily. Ultimately he felt he could trust her with anything but he didn't want to abuse Sirius' trust or tell news that wasn't his to tell.

"Regulus is in Slytherin and Sirius worries about him sometimes. That's all I can say," he said truthfully. They continued to walk in silence for a bit and had just reached the edge of the Hogwarts grounds when Lily spoke again.

"I was wondering, James, if tomorrow if you're not busy, if you would like to study with me?" she asked out of the blue. James nearly tripped over his robes at this point.

"Study? With you?" he managed to choke out, looking resolutely at the castle ahead of them.

"Yes, I know study is a foreign concept for you, James, but I think it might do you some good," she said, smiling. "And it would give Cat and Sirius some time alone together. Not to mention Remus and Anna."

"You think they'll get together?" James asked curiously.

"Oh, I think so. When Anna wants something she usually gets it," Lily said before covering her mouth with her hand, "I didn't mean to say that!"

"Don't worry," James chuckled, "Secret's safe with me." Lily quirked an eyebrow at him.

"So is that a yes?" she asked.

"Of course it is," he said with mock affront. She laughed and hit him on the arm.

"That's for making me wait," she declared.

"You, Lily Evans, are full of surprises," he said quietly.

"I think you've said that before, Potter, get some new material," she chuckled, preceding him into the Entrance Hall.

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary:

The events of the last few days have been horrible but last night I had an epiphany (I love that word!).

In these times when things are so uncertain and lives can just be wiped out, just like that, we need to cling onto the things that make us feel happy and safe. We need to let those that we love know that we love them before it's too late.

I had this epiphany lying in my sleeping bag last night. I was feeling suitably upset and confused by everything. I noticed James wasn't sleeping either. He took my hand (which I would normally have slapped or something) and held it while we both feel asleep.

I didn't mind because it wasn't inappropriate. He wasn't trying to get me to like him or go out with him, he was simply being a good friend. And then I realised something.

I feel safe when I'm around him.

I'm not sure if I should be alarmed or comforted by this. I suppose comforted would be the preferable reaction because I think I've pretty much gotten past all that 'Potter is an arrogant nuisance' business.

But the bottom line is, he makes me feel safe. I enjoy being around him.

Does this mean I'm falling for him? Not necessarily.

Does this mean I should spend more time with him? Definitely.

Does this mean I should give him a chance? Probably. But he hasn't asked me out in a while, so I might have to wait around a while.

I just read an entry from two months ago. If I had known then what I feel now, I think I would have died of shock. But enough of this procrastinating. I should go get some sleep if I'm to spend the entirety of tomorrow trying to get James Potter to study.

Oh well, who said I didn't like a challenge?

* * *

AN - so that's my plot chapter out of the way. more fluff next time, i promise. but the plot stuff will return, because remember - lily and james have to thrice defy voldemort... but i will say no more  
reviews are greatly appreciated and thanks to all of you wonderful ppl who consistently review - they really make my day. also thanks to u guys who've added this story to your faves!! you rock! :) happy fanficcing!


	23. Snowball Fights and Revelations

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still nothing

AN - See the end of the chapter please. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 22 - Snowball Fights and Late Night Confessions:**

Lily awoke the next morning with the strange feeling of butterflies fluttering about in her stomach. She would have wondered why she was feeling nervous, but she knew. James Potter.

It was her own fault, really, because she had asked him to spend the day with her, she knew this. What she didn't know was why he had the power to make her feel so… intimidated. The night before, she had been writing in her diary that he made her feel safe, but now all she felt was anxiety. She looked out of her bedroom window to see a soft blanket of snow covering the grounds. She pressed her forehead against the chilled glass, trying to get a grip of her emotions.

_Lily Evans, get a hold of yourself. Honestly! He's just James Potter. He's just a good friend who you happen to enjoy spending time with. Relax!_

Miraculously the little voice in her head seemed to quell her fears, and she went down to meet James with renewed optimism.

* * *

As things turned out, Lily and James only got through about half of their planned work. This was due to the fact that after lunch, while they were amicably discussing how best to brew Amortentia, a rather large and enchanted snowball flew up to their window and knocked on it repeatedly until Lily got up to let it inside. With it was a note inviting them to partake in a large snowball fight with the rest of the gang - boys versus girls. They, being the model students that they were - decided to take a much needed break and joined their friends in warfare.

"You're going down, Remus!" Anna yelled, pelting a snowball at his retreating figure from her safe position behind the girls' fort. The magically constructed ice palace, if you will, was complete with giant slingshots and ice-cannons. The boys were frankly too lazy to go to that much effort and were instead seeking refuge behind the massive beech tree that they liked to call their own.

"I don't think so, Brown," Sirius yelled from behind her. She squealed as an abnormally large snowball smacked her right in the face.

"Fire!" Lily yelled, as she and Cat let go of the slingshot, pelting dozens of tiny snowballs towards the boys. James, however, got in the way, melting them all with a flick of his wand.

"Hey, that's cheating!" cried Cat.

"It's winning and you're just jealous," retorted Sirius with a dazzling grin. Cat, for a moment, forgot she was in the middle of a snow war and lost herself in the brilliance of his smile. He similarly forgot his place, and they made their way slowly and slushily towards one another. They were about to hug and most likely make-out when two snowballs of equal size bashed them on the backs of their heads.

"Nice move Evans!"

"Thanks, James, you too," Lily yelled, bemused that they had both seen fit to snap their respective friends out of it at exactly the same moment. Thankfully their well aimed distractions had forced Sirius and Cat to realise the reality of the situation - this was war! They were consequently now wrestling one another in the slushy snow with great enthusiasm. _I knew he__'__d be the type to like it rough,_ Cat thought wryly to herself.

James, Lily and Peter (who had miraculously not been absent) were too caught up in launching snowy ammunition at one another to notice that their other two friends appeared to be having their own moment.

Anna had snuck very stealthily around the back of the beech tree (disillusionment charms had always been her strength) and had Remus well within her sights. She quietly bent over (after having removed her charm) and rolled a small ball of snow in her gloved hands. But just as she lifted her hand to throw it hard at Remus' head, he turned around and darted towards her. She tripped on the hem of her robes and fell backwards in shock, snowball melting in her hand. Remus chuckled at her clumsiness, and raised his own snowball above his head, ready to hit his defenceless target.

"Ah, me. And you girls thought you had it in the bag," he gloated.

"Well aren't you going to help me up?" Anna demanded.

"Why? I'm about to snowball you?" he replied, lowering his arm a bit and looking genuinely confused.

"You wouldn't hit a poor, defenceless thing like me now, would you?" she pouted, jutting her pink bottom lip forward and widening her blue eyes adorably. Remus faltered. Was this a trick? Probably. Was he going to fall for it? Probably.

Sighing inwardly at his gentlemanly instincts, he extended a hand towards her.

"Thanks," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him down next to her. Well, sort of next to. Really it was more on top of. Whoops - she hadn't meant to be that forward.

"I, err, appear to be on top of you?" Remus said awkwardly, as though it was a question.

"Yep," Anna said, a completely angelic look on her face.

"Should I get off?" he asked. Anna bunched her eyebrows together in a look of concentration.

"You are rather warm," she began slowly, "And I rather enjoy having you on top of me," she continued, "So, no, I'd prefer if you stayed where you were." Remus looked momentarily as though he'd been slapped in the face. Then he quickly composed himself and asked her a question that he'd been longing to ask ever since their first game of truth or dare.

"Anna, do you like me?" he asked cautiously, as though testing the waters before a swim.

"Whatever do you mean, Remus?" she replied, feigning innocence.

"You know what I mean," he whispered, his mouth hovering close above her ear. Anna was thrown by this sudden role reversal - she had been the one trying to seduce him, but now he was taking control. And it scared her.

"Anna?" he repeated in a voice just above a whisper.

"Yes."

"Then, I was wondering, would you like to, you know. Be my girlfriend or something?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes," she replied, not surprised that he would actually ask such a question - who said manners were dead?

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking into her clear blue eyes. A small smile crept onto her face.

"Positive," she said before pressing her frozen lips against his. Hah! She had the upper hand once more. Remus rolled over onto his back in shock, their lips still touching, and Anna took this opportunity to sit atop him - she was pretty much straddling him. She pulled back for a moment to examine the prefect's face. He looked astonished, yet at the same time rather annoyed that she had stopped kissing him. She cocked her head to one side - playing dumb again - before Remus reached a hand gently behind her head and brought her face towards his. The kiss that followed was as sweet as it was passionate. Anna had not expected Remus to be such a good kisser. Remus had not expected Anna to be so delicate. Their romantic interlude was interrupted when a hefty amount of snow was dumped on them from the branches of the beech tree (with Sirius' help, of course). The two broke apart, looking up at the now lightened branches.

"I suppose we should get back to the war, huh?" Remus said, his breathing a little uneven. Anna just nodded - she was still in awe of his proficient kissing skills. They walked around the side of the large tree, both looking at the ground and not seeking eye others eyes (perhaps out of embarrassment) when Cat called out to them.

"About time, you two!"

They looked up to see the rest of their friends standing in a line staring at them, all with large grins on their pink-cheeked faces.

"What?" Remus asked, completely blind-sided by both the comment, and all his friends watching he and Anna.

"She means it's about time you two got it together," Sirius answered.

"We've seen it a long time coming," James contributed.

"And we just wanted to say congratulations," Lily chimed, her grin growing wider. Anna and Remus just looked at each other, eyebrows raised. Then,

"Fire," Peter yelled. And the five of them started hurling snowballs at the new couple who were, as planned, completely unprepared.

"Well, this is an interesting way to start a relationship," Remus yelled at Anna over the shouting and yelling of the gang, who had turned on one another now.

"You can say that again," she laughed as they dodged snowballs left and right.

The day ended on quite a pleasant note with the seven drenched students returning to Gryffindor tower for supper and then an early night.

* * *

**Charms Class:  
**  
"Today we shall be revising simple summoning and banishing charms," the tiny professor Flitwick said, "So get your frogs and mice from the front desk and begin." The students dragged their feet, no one was really in the mood for this sort of stuff on a Friday afternoon. Lily was particularly despondent. She had just received word from her family that Petunia was engaged and to be married in the coming year.

(James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, _Lily Evans)

**Hey, Evans, what's up?**

Black? Why aren't you working?

**I'm waiting for my frog to come back to me.**

That's what the charm's for,

**Yes, but this is an exercise in patience. Anyway, you didn't answer my question - what's up?**

What makes you think there's something up?

**It could be the way you're sitting here with a very sad and/or sour look on your face, or the fact that Flitwick just asked you a question and you didn't even hear him.**

Oh Merlin, did he?

**Well, no. But if he had, you wouldn't have heard him.**

You are so frustrating sometimes.

**Well, clearly I'm not going to get anything out of you. I'm sending in the experts.**

What are you on about?

_Lily? It's Remus. What's wrong?_

Nothing! Why does everyone think there's something wrong.

_Oh, it's just because we're in charms - your favourite class - and you look as though someone's run over your pet cat._

I don't have a cat.

_That, and Anna mentioned this morning that you've been funny all day._

I haven't been funny. I wish everyone would just leave me be so I can start my work.

Lily? Can I ask you a question?

If it's 'is there something wrong with you?' then no, you may not.

Well, that's convenient, coz I was actually going to ask how to banish large objects.

Really?

Yes.

We went over that on Sunday… and you said you understood.

I did. But now I've forgotten. Pleeeeeease!

Oh, alright.

Oh, so you just make the wand movement a bit exaggerated?

Yes.

Cool bananas. Thanks Lils.

Are you sure you weren't just trying to cheer me up?

(looks astonished) Me? Never?

Thanks for caring.

No worries. And if you ever want to talk I live in practically the same place as you, ok?

My sister's getting married.

What?

That's why I've been a bit off this morning. Petunia's getting married.

Isn't that a good thing?

I've never told you about my sister, have I?

Nope.

Well, charms class probably isn't the best time. I'll tell you later.

Okay…

And please don't tell the others that this is what's got my wand in a knot. I don't want them to think I'm being stupid over nothing.

You're not being stupid.

James!

Don't worry, I won't say a word.

Thanks.

* * *

Dear Lily,

We've exciting news. Your sister Petunia is engaged to be married! Do you remember that Vernon Dursley fellow that she brought around to tea a few times over the summer? He's the lucky groom to be. And your father and I are so pleased!

Your sister would write you this message herself, but she's far too busy working on plans for the wedding, which is to be held in February the coming year. And, yes, we know it's incredibly soon, but they are so in love and pressed for a short engagement. And who were we to argue? Vernon will make your sister feel happy and safe and we could not wish for anything more. We were looking forward to seeing you over the Christmas break, sweetheart, but things here are so hectic; it would probably be best if you stayed at school. We hope you don't mind.

In response to your last letter, yes we had a wonderful wedding anniversary. Halloween is a rather strange time to be wed, but this way I knew your father would never forget it. And I'm glad that you had a good time at that ball - I know how much hard work you put into it.  
I'm not sure if we tell you enough, Lily, but your father and I are so proud of you. Keep up the great work, honey. We look forward to seeing our favourite Head Girl in February (although we will send you a proper gift on your birthday).

Lots of love, Mum.

Ps. The invitation to your sister's wedding is plus one. I would ask you to bring one of your girl friends but Petunia has specifically requested that the seating pattern goes boy girl boy girl. If it's not too much trouble, could you please find one of those nice boys at your school to bring? Perhaps your fellow head boy? Otherwise I'll have to seat you next to that young lad who works in the post office (he's rather attractive by today's standards). It could be like a blind date? Let me know.

* * *

Harry found it strange to be reading a letter written by his grandmother. He had never met her as she and his grandfather had died, presumably before his birth. He could see why his mother had been upset. Not only was his aunt Petunia snubbing his mother, but she was getting his grandmother to do the dirty work. While his grandmother tried to be polite about the whole thing, the bottom line was clear. Petunia did not want her sister to spoil her wedding day and in fact didn't really want to see her sister at all. The fact that they asked Lily to remain at Hogwarts over the holidays was just insensitive, as was the suggestion that they set her up with a muggle for a blind date at the wedding. Harry was a little disappointed in his extended family at this point, and felt less upset about never having known them. He wondered if his mother had taken his father to the wedding after all. He then wondered when they were going to become an item. Lupin had said it was in their seventh year but as far as Harry could tell his dad was being cautious and his mother was being stubborn. When were they going to get it together?

* * *

After dinner, Lily was sitting in front of the fire in their Common Room, flipping through one of James' quidditch magazines and trying to unwind.

"Do you want to have that chat now or shall I wait til you've finished reading about the hazards of supporting the Tutshill Tornados?" James asked. Lily looked up to see him leaning casually against the door frame to the bathroom, hair slightly damp, wearing very comfortable looking pyjamas.

"Now's fine. Quidditch is a great sport but the literature that goes with it is really rather ordinary," she smiled, patting the couch next to her. For a moment James looked as if he could hardly believe his luck (Lily wanting to sit next to him and chat!) but he quickly obliged with a neutral expression.

"So, your sister?" he prompted without hesitation. Lily sighed deeply.

"Petunia. Tuney. She's two years older than me," Lily said. James remained silent for this seemed to be the best way to get Lily to talk.

"We used to be best friends. Before all this," she gestured miserably at the room and James gathered that she was referring to the magical world in general.

"You mean you two grew apart when you came here?" he asked softly. Lily nodded.

"I think she wanted to be a part of it, you know, the magic and the hidden world and all that? But she couldn't. And she began to resent me for what I was."

"How you were about to start a new life that she couldn't share," James said quietly. Lily nodded again, staring at the fire.

"She called me a freak. That hurt, coming from my sister," her voice shook, and James - not missing a beat - slipped his arm comfortably over Lily's shoulders. She instinctively leant into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I don't want to cry. It's not as if I've lost a family member like Cat or anyone," Lily began, before James interrupted.

"Lily, you don't have to monitor how you feel compared to everyone else's troubles. And besides, in a way you have lost a family member," he said, rubbing her arm softly.

"You sound like a self help book," she said with a small chuckle.

"What can I say? I'm just full of worthy advice," he joked, relinquishing Lily's warmth as she sat apart from him, hastily swiping at a few stray tears.

"So, anyway. This morning I get a letter from my mother telling me that Tuney's engaged to a Vernon Dursley and they're getting married next year."

"At least your sister's found someone to be with," James offered, "Maybe it's a good thing."

"Yes, I'm very happy for her to marry and be happy and whatnot," Lily said, "It's the fact that she hasn't spoken more than two words to me in months and suddenly she's engaged! My mother told me. I've never even met this Dursley, Petunia made sure I was always out of the house when he came to visit. What if he's not good enough for her? What if she's making a terrible mistake? And why didn't she tell me herself?!" Lily cried out in frustration, her anger taking over her melancholy. James kept his mouth shut; he knew better than to rile an already irritated Lily. It took a few minutes for Lily to control herself, slow her breathing and to be able to look James in the eye - she was a bit embarrassed by her outburst.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit upset. I'll get over it," she said weakly.

"I think you passed a bit upset a couple of miles back," he joked. She punched him softly in the arm. There was a moment of silence that passed between them, before James spoke in a voice that Lily had rarely heard him use before. It was soft and vulnerable.

"I lost my mother and my younger sister the year before I started at Hogwarts."

Lily just stared, trying to process this information - she never noticed before that James never mentioned his mother. She sat back down on the couch next to him as he continued, staring into the fire.

"I'm so sorry, James, I had no idea…". He shrugged slightly before continuing.

"She was killed by Voldemort himself. We don't know why we were targeted - probably because my parents were aurors. Dad and I were out of the house. I think we were buying Alex her birthday present - she was turning seven." He removed his glasses and scrubbed his hands over his eyes, massaging them as though they ached.  
"He had been sending them letters, asking them to join the cause. We're one of the few pureblood families left, you see. But he must've known it was a long shot. Our family has always been sympathetic to muggle welfare," he said proudly, "We would never join."

Lily had no idea what to say. She simply sat examining James in the light of the fire. James cleared his throat a little and wiped his nose inconspicuously.

"The thing is, we need to make the most of the time we have with those we love," he looked at Lily, "Because they won't be around forever." They shared a long moment staring at each other before Lily found her voice again.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, placing her hand in his. He smiled a little.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because here I am complaining that my sister hates me and my family are always distant, when you only have your Dad. It's… I didn't mean to be, you know. Insensitive. Sorry," she finished meekly. To her surprise, James actually chuckled.

"Lily, you're incredible," he said.

"What did I do?" she asked apologetically.

"It's been a long time since it happened. I'm happy with my dad. All I was trying to say before was that we shouldn't take things for granted. So stop worrying! You weren't insensitive… just uninformed."

"How is it you always know the right thing to say?" she asked.

"Was born with it," he grinned cockily. She shoved him playfully in the ribs. They both laughed for a minute before James spoke again.

"So what are you going to do about your sister?" he asked.

"I suppose I'll have to go to the wedding," she sighed, "That's going to be awkward."

"Don't worry, the rest of your family will be there to be bored and awkward with," he smiled.

"Yeah, I guess so." There was another pause.

"So, I don't suppose you'll need a date for your sister's wedding?" he asked with a smirk.

"Are you trying to invite yourself as my date?" Lily scoffed.

"Of course I am," he replied, "Are you saying yes?"

"I don't see why not," she grinned, "But just as friends, understand?" He raised his hands innocently.

"Sure, that was my intention all along… Unless…"

"Unless what?"

_Don't be such an insensitive prick, Potter,_ he told himself,_ Lily's upset and you were about to take advantage of that. Shame on you!  
When did my conscious get so annoying?_ he wondered_.  
Since you grew up,_ it replied. James had to agree with this.

"Never mind," he said quickly.

"James?" she was eyeing him warily, "What were you going to say?"

"Doesn't matter. When's the wedding?" he asked with his winning smile.

"February."

"Blimey, that's soon!"

"Tell me about it. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend."

"Maybe she's pregnant?" Lily laughed suddenly at this.

"Petunia? Pregnant? That is the funniest thing I've ever heard!"

"How come?"

"She's the biggest prude you'll ever meet!" Lily said, gasping for air, "I bet I'll be a grandma by the time she gives it away." James joined in her laughter here and the two sat quite happily together for a while.

_It's strange,_ Lily thought in the intervening silence, _I would never have considered taking Potter anywhere this time a year ago. But now I'm actually looking forward to taking him to my sister's wedding. Maybe that should tell me something…_  
_Oh my god, Cat and Anna were right! I am falling for him._  
_Nothing can come from nothing._

_When did that happen?_

_Who knows - the important thing is what are you going to do about it?_

_Do? Me? Nothing, of course?_

_Stop it! Darn Remus and his muggle plays!_

_It's true, though. And you heard what James said 'We need to make the most of the time we have with those we love, because they won't be around forever'_

_Okay, the fact that you can quote him is really rather pathetic_

_I'm you, fool!_

_Oh Merlin's baggy y-fronts - you're right!_

_So what are you going to do?_

_I can't tell him. Now's not really the best time…_

_Come on, carpe diem!_

_He's just told me about the murder of his mother and sister - he will think I'm pitying him or that I've gone momentarily insane because of my sister's stupid wedding._

_I'm sure he won't think that at all._

_But it's better to be safe than sorry._

_I suppose so…_

_And the best things are worth waiting for…_

_Okay, I give in. Don't tell him now. But don't wait forever!_

_Fine, fine…_

Here Lily's thoughts were interrupted by James announcing that he was going to finish the essay McGonagall had set them. She blushed when she realised he was talking to her. Then she nodded to indicate that she had heard him. James apparently noticed her blazing cheeks, for her raised his eyebrows a little, but he said nothing and proceeded to his desk without comment.

_Bugger_, Lily thought,_ This is going to be hard._

AN - So a nice helping of Anna/Remus fluff combined with some sad stuff from James and some grumpy, petunia-related angst from lily. all in all, a fairly plot/fluff chapter... coz that makes perfect sense. the 'nothing can come from nothing' quote is from king lear, btw, its a good play, you should all read it.  
finally the penny has dropped for lily, but it will still take some time for them to get together properly (cowers in fear- please don't hurt me!) because these things don't just happen over night. unless you're an extra character like cat or anna... but hey, that's fanfiction!  
So yes, please tell me what you think - i've been loving all the reviews, guys, they truly rock my socks! so thank you sooooo much!

In other news (not so good) I'm in my last year at school and as such there has been increasing amounts of homework and the like. anyway, i've been on hols for the past week and a bit which is why i've been updating so frequently, but when i go back to school, i will only be able to update once a week or even once a fortnight. im so sorry, but my parents are also threatening to take away my computer if i don't 'knuckle down' when school's back. so i'd better play by their rules or no fanfiction! im sorry to all of you who like this story for the sole reason that i update so often, but it's gonna change.  
but i will get out two or three more chapters before i go back so dw. and lily and james will probably hopefully get together in one of them. mostly because even i'm getting impatient - i want them to get it together already!! so please stay tuned. and im sorry for all potential future dealays!! thanks!


	24. Dreams, Birthdays and Arguments

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still nothing.

AN - This did not go where I thought it would. but i'm moderately okay with the outcome. enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 23 - Dreams, Birthdays and Arguments:**

Lily sighed heavily as she turned yet another page of the thick textbook. Her eyes blurred a tiny bit as fatigue took hold. She slammed the thick book shut, a small dust cloud rising from the ancient pages as she did so, deciding that now would be the right time to return to her dormitory - it was nearly midnight after all. As she rose from her chair, she heard a faint cough from behind her. She smiled, having a fairly good idea of who the noise was coming from. She spun around and came face to face with… nothing. Nobody was there. How puzzling, Lily thought. She had been sure she had heard something. Then again maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.

She bent over to gather up her books, turned around and straightened up, coming face to face with none other than James Potter. She gasped involuntarily. Where on earth had he come from? What's more, how did he get so close without her realising?

"James," she said, eyes wide, "You nearly scared me to death. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," he said, without a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Err, why?" Lily asked, conscious that they were both whispering, despite the fact that neither of them would get in trouble for being in the library as they were Head Boy and Girl.

"Because," he breathed, leaning closer to her and speaking in her ear, "I wanted to ask you something." Lily nearly swooned at the feeling of his warm breath on her ear.

"What?" she asked, the butterflies in her stomach going crazy.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked in a strangely insecure voice. Surely he must know her answer.

"Yes," Lily smiled, looking up into his eyes. He grinned, and leant forward, tipping his head slightly to the right. All the air vanished from Lily's lungs as she realised that they were about to kiss. She closed her eyes and leant forward…

"Lily!"

Where was that voice coming from?

"Lily?"

Lily opened her eyes, staring straight up at the canopy of her four-poster bed. Then came a gentle knock at her door.

"Lily, are you up yet? We're gonna be late for Herbology," came James' voice from the other side of the door. Damn, it had all been a dream!

"Yeah, sure. Be down in a minute!" she called, falling flat on the floor in her haste to untangle herself from her bed sheets.

**Thump!**

"Are you sure you're okay?" he called again.

"Yup. Don't wait up - I'll see you in class, okay?"

"Okay," he called, smiling slightly to himself. Since when did he make Lily flustered?

* * *

"Thirteen hours and twenty minutes until my birthday," sang Sirius to nobody in particular. All seven of their Gryffindor gang were sitting in the cavernous Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom with their fellow class mates, waiting for their eternally forgetful professor to turn up.

"We know, Padfoot," sighed Remus, his arm casually around Anna's waist, "Will you give it a rest?"

"No can do, Moony, for this is the big one! Seventeen! Of age! Free to do as I please," Sirius cried joyfully.

"Like you don't already," Lily pointed out sarcastically.

"Fair point, Lily-flower, but the fact still remains that I will be seventeen in mere hours and oh, what a celebration we shall have," his eyes glinted mischievously. Now Lily had cause for concern…

"Shut it, you, or there will be no party," Cat said sternly. Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but she continued, "And no presents," she raised eyebrows suggestively. There was a way that she emphasised the word presents that made Sirius close his mouth again, and the rest of the group turn away in order to pretend that they hadn't caught the hidden meaning.

"So, what are we actually going to do tomorrow night?" Anna asked, breaking the silence.

"Tomorrow night? I turn seventeen as soon as that clock hits twelve. We will party from that moment on," Sirius corrected her.

James grinned at him. Despite his Head Boy responsibilities, it was a fact that his best mate would only turn seventeen once and he fully intended to celebrate the occasion properly.

"Sirius, you can't expect to have a party in the common room at midnight, even though today's a Friday," Lily said, pre-empting his rebuttal, "And you can't have it in our common room either, can he?" she asked James.

"No, of course not," James said, grinning further. Lily nodded her approval even though she was a little thrown by the fact that James was acting responsibly.

"We are having it in Hogsmeade instead," Remus said calmly. Lily gaped at him - Remus, the reliable one, suggesting a midnight visit to Hogsmeade? Had the world gone topsy-turvy?

"You have got to be kidding?" Lily said, after picking her jaw up off of the floor.

"No, it's tradition," Peter chipped in, "We do it every ye- Ouch!" he cried as James punched him in the arm. Clearly Peter was not the brains trust. _Honestly, Lily might forgive us for sneaking off once,_ James thought, _but habitually? You don't admit that sort of thing to the Head Girl, Peter!_ He rethought things for a moment and smacked Peter upside the head.

"What was that for?" he cried indignantly. James ignored him.

"Don't listen to him, Lily. This would be a very exciting new experience for us, I swear."

"Coming from a Marauder, I don't much believe you," she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"No, honest to goodness, it's the truth," Sirius added.

"Swear upon my mothers grave," Remus agreed. Lily rolled her eyes in response. Then she considered the fact that they boys were going to sneak out whether she protested or not. And she may as well go with them… you know, to keep an eye on them. She would go so far as to say it was her duty.

"Okay, supposing I decide to ignore the fact that you're breaking about fifty school rules and actually agree on going to Hogsmeade, how exactly do you propose to get all of us out of the castle, undetected, all the way there and then all the way back?" Lily demanded.

"Lily, my darling Head Girl, leave the details up to us," Sirius patted her reassuringly on the shoulder, cheeky grin still spread across his face.

"James, why are we waiting by this god-ugly statue?" Lily asked a little grumpily. It was eleven thirty - the proposed time for meeting the rest of the group - and Lily had only had time for a nanna nap before having to get up again and make herself look ready for partying. She was dressed in her favourite flared jeans, coupled with a white singlet top and dark blue blazer. Layers, she was told, were very in this season. With her hair straightened, pulled back in a loose ponytail and gold jewellery, James thought she looked particularly beautiful. He himself was just dressed in whatever he could find that hadn't been dirty at the time.

"This is where we said we'd meet everyone else," he reminded her gently.

"Yes, but why here? It's so… secluded."

"I would think that would be appreciated, given the lateness of the hour," he pointed out. Lily just crossed her arms in front of her. Why did he have to be right all the time? He was making her feel more than a little stupid.

"Hey guys. How long have you been here?" Anna asked, as she, Remus and Peter rounded the corner. Anna was dressed in a light blue pinafore dress, with a black skivvy underneath it, matching the dark stockings and nearly knee-high boots. Her hair was set in loose waves, held back by a light blue head band. Remus, dressed in a casual jeans and shirt (like James) was holding onto Anna's hand rather tightly, as though afraid she would get away otherwise. He had slung his brown jacket over his shoulder, knowing it would be cold later on.

"Only a couple of minutes," James replied, "Where are the others?"

"They left before us," Remus frowned, "Should be here by now. Do you have the map, James?"

"Yeah, I'll just… oh, look who decided to show up," he commented, regarding the approaching figures with amusement. "And just what held you two up, then?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

"We got lost," Cat replied smoothly, adjusting the collar of her crimson shirt and repositioning her scarf.

"Did you find an early birthday present along the way?" Anna joked, but Cat sent her a silencing glare.

"Shall we?" James asked, offering his arm to Lily who just looked confused.

"Aren't we going to cast disillusionment charms or something?" she asked.

"Nope," he grinned. Sirius strode over to the one-eyed witch statue.

"Allow me to do the honours," he said, tapping the statue with his wand, "Dissendium." The statue began to move, much to the girls' collective astonishment, and had soon opened to reveal an entire hidden passageway through which Sirius clambered first, holding out a hand to assist Catherine. Soon enough, the whole group were in the passage and were walking towards their destination, although none of the girls really knew where that was.

* * *

Sirius, Remus, Anna and Cat were at the front discussing all the wonderful perks of being of age (Remus and Cat had already had their birthdays over the summer holidays). Peter and James were chatting about their muggle studies assignment (which Lily thought was rather odd - Marauders, talking about homework..?) which then left Lily lagging behind. She didn't mind - it meant that she was left to her own thoughts. The only problem was, these thoughts kept straying back to James bloody Potter and his perfectly formed behind that she couldn't seem able to tear her eyes away from even in semi-darkness.

_I had a dream about Potter. What does this mean?_

_It depends on what the dream was about, _replied that ever so irritating voice in her head.

_Not you again! _she groaned inwardly.

_Yes, me again, deal with it. I make a good point, though. In the aforementioned dream he asked you out and you said yes. You don't have to be a psychiatrist to know what that means._

_Oh really? Do explain._

_I'm sighing in exasperation, just so you know._

_Duly noted, now continue._

_You dreamed that he asked you out. In the dream you said yes. You woke up wishing that it hadn't been a dream. What does this say about you?_

_That I need to eat less before I go to sleep?_

_No! It means that you are falling for him and you want him to ask you out._

_Well done. No, really, congratulations on working that one out! _

_No need to be sarcastic about it._

_I'm only being sarcastic because you're telling me things I already know. I know I like James. I know I wish he would ask me out on a date. What I don't know is what I can do about it. _

_Oh… I see…_

_Well, any suggestions?_

_Sorry, you're on your own. Unless…_

_Unless what?_

_Never mind, you'd never agree to it anyway._

_Agree to what?_

_Why don't you just tell him how you feel?_

_Haven't we had this conversation before?_

_Do it, do it, do it, do it!_

Lily stopped arguing with herself when she walked smack bang into the back of James who, it appeared, had stopped walking.

"Ouch! Oh, sorry," she apologised, red faced. James smirked a little.

"S'ok. We're here now," he indicated to the trapdoor through which the others had already climbed, "Do you want a boost?"

Lily considered this carefully. She didn't want to give herself another opportunity to swoon if he got too close, but at the same time she didn't think she could make it through the trapdoor all by herself - her upper body strength wasn't what it used to be.

"Yeah, thanks," she said, slipping past him and grabbing onto the rim of the hatch for support.

"Ready?" he asked her, placing his strong hands on her hips. He could've sworn she shuddered just a little bit at the contact, but dismissed these thoughts as they could lead to nowhere else but heartache. She nodded and he lifted her up so that her torso disappeared through the trapdoor, and soon the rest of her body followed. _She's light as a feather,_ James thought, _Does she even eat? _

He followed Lily and silently shut the trapdoor behind them. They found themselves standing in the dusty cellar of Honeydukes, surrounded by crates of fizzing-whizzbees and liquorice wands.

"So this is how you lot always sneak out of the castle," Anna said appreciatively, "Nice." Remus shared an awkward look with Sirius - this was not the only place they came…

"I've always wondered where you lot disappear to and now we know," Cat agreed. Remus cleared his throat, wanting very much to change the subject. Peter, surprisingly, picked up on this hint.

"Come on," he said, "Only ten to twelve. We'd better get to a pub."

"Good thinking Pete," James said, unconsciously hooking his arm round Lily's waist and whisking her away up the stairs, "Let's go party." Lily noticed this new contact with her body as it sent tingles all across her midriff and her stomach decided to start doing annoying back-flips, but she said nothing against it. Everyone else was in pairs, she noted; it made sense that she and James would walk together.

They reached the door to the shop, and Lily paused holding James back. He looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Won't the shop keeper notice seven teenagers sneaking about in his store in the middle of the night?" she hissed.

"Old Brain? Nah, he's a heavy sleeper. Besides, we have… an arrangement of sorts," James replied. Lily merely snorted charmingly.

"Whatever you say, James. But if we get caught, I'm going to hex you so badly you won't be able to sit down for a week, understood?"

James simply nodded and grinningly said "You worry too much." They snuck successfully through the shopfront (if successfully encompasses Anna knocking over a stack of Bertie-Botts and Sirius pocketing a few snacks, free of charge - 'but it's my birthday') and out into the cold High Street.

"Where are we going?" Cat asked through chattering teeth. Sirius wrapped his arms tightly about her.

"Three Broomsticks," he grinned, sweeping her away.

"Lily, are you cold?" James asked the shivering red head. She started at his question.

"Just a bit, yeah," she recovered, "But we'll be there soon."

* * *

Again, the three girls were hesitant about entering a busy public establishment where they might get busted for being out of bounds on a school night. But the boys convinced them that it was perfectly safe, and the girls decided that potential detention was a better option that frostbite so in they went.

Sirius found them a nice comfy booth, near enough to the bar, and they all packed in quite cosily.

"Three, two, one," they counted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!". Lots of cheering and clapping ensued, drawing less attention than they would've anticipated.

"Right, now that you are seventeen, Padfoot, would you care to order the rest of us underlings some drinks?" James proposed. Sirius grinned, rubbing his hands together.

"I can buy drinks for minors? This keeps getting better and better."

"I'll just have a butterbeer, thanks," Lily said, receiving odd looks from the rest of the party. "What?" she asked, "Someone has to be responsible." Remus just shook his head with a small smile while Peter simply frowned at her, not understanding her proclamation one bit.

Sirius returned to the table with six Firewhiskeys and one bottle of butterbeer, "Drink up, everyone. The night is young."

"This song is awful," Lily yelled over the fast-paced piece of music that sounded like a cross between yowling cats and a poor strings ensemble.

Anna merely laughed at her, "You should hear their other songs- this one is fantastic by comparison!"

"Are you ladies enjoying yourself?" asked a fairly drunken Sirius, stumbling over from his position at the bar where he and Cat had been happily trying to drink one another under the table. James had participated too, but wasn't as apt at holding his liquor.

"Music sucks, but apart from that…" Lily said. Sirius scowled at her playfully. At this point, Cat stumbled over to them, grabbing Sirius' hand and they both staggered slightly. Lily still had the good sense to roll her eyes - she had had a bit to drink (mostly to join in with the festive spirit, but partly to stop herself thinking about James) but not nearly as much as the rest of the group.

"Sirius," Cat said emphatically, "I need you to come with me, now!" Sirius obliged happily, and followed Cat through the back of the shop. Anna raised her eyebrows comically at Lily. "I think Cat's going to show Sirius his present now."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the bar, Remus and Peter were trying to rouse James from his semi-conscious state. Although he had drunk very little, James' thoughts of Lily had brought him into a bit of a slump. He was absolutely head over heels for the girl, but virtually powerless to do anything about it and as such was feeling an appropriate amount of melancholy and self-pity.

"James, she'll come around in the end. Stop thinking about her, just try and have fun tonight," Remus urged in his semi-sober state.

"Yeah," Peter contributed helpfully. James just raised his head from his arms to look at them both despairingly.

"I can't get her out of my head," he moaned, "No matter how hard I try."

"Listen, mate, it's Padfoot's birthday and he wants everyone to have a good time," Remus reasoned, "Just forget about Lily." James just stared at him in utter disbelief. How could his closest friends expect him to do such a thing? It was here that Peter actually said something useful.

"How about you just be yourself?" he proposed, "You and Lily are friends now. Why don't you just hang out with her like normal?"

"She's been acting funny," James stated bluntly, "Really kind of jumpy. She's fine in a group but whever I tried to talk to her today she has been really short with me and almost, I don't know, eager to get away from me or something... I don't know what's wrong with her!"

"Why don't you go have a dance and find out," Remus suggested. Together he and Peter managed to haul James off of his barstool and gently push him in the right direction. James stumbled a little, but regained his composure as he walked over to Anna and Lily, just as Sirius and Cat seemed to be leaving.

"That was a really nice thing you said to him back there, Pete," Remus said.

"Yeah, well, what are friends for, ey?" Peter said, although secretly he had preferred it when it was just the four marauders together. No girls getting in between them and ruining their fun. Lately he had been feeling a little left out of all their get togethers. Of course, Lily and James weren't an item yet, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. Shrugging off these feelings of insecurity, Peter turned to Remus, "Want another drink?"

* * *

"Cat, where are you taking me?" Sirius asked, a roguish glint in his eye. Cat turned to face him over her shoulder, "You'll see."

"But there are only toilets back here, aren't there?" he frowned.

"You'll see," she repeated, abruptly turning a corner and pulling him up a small flight of stairs. She strode purposefully across the first floor landing, Sirius still trailing behind her, pulled by the arm, to stand before a quaint oak door.

"I wanted your birthday present to be something special," she began, "Something that you won't forget in a hurry." Sirius raised his eyebrows and paled a little. Cat, realising what he must be thinking, was quick to clarify things.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean like that! We've only been dating for two months."

"One month and three weeks," he corrected promptly. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as he said this. Who would've thought it - Sirius Black, an old romantic!

"Anyway, I hired us this room for the night and not so we could fool around," _Although I have no objections,_ she thought, "But so that we could just spend some time together - just us." She stopped at Sirius' blank look.

"But if you would prefer to go back downstairs with your guys I totally understand," Cat said, reprimanding herself for thinking that he would rather spend his birthday with her rather than his life-long friends. But Sirius was quick to amend this.

"No, I'd love to spend time with just you," he said hastily, "Those other guys will still be there when I get back." Cat smiled. Good old Sirius - he could have his cake and eat it too.

"Okay," she said, pushing open the door and walking backwards through it so that she was still facing him, "What do you want to do now?"

It was a small, cosy room with lit fireplace and double bed (plain linen sheets - no tacky silk in this establishment). Sirius smiled - his girlfriend had good taste.

"Well, I can think of a few things, most of which you would probably regret in the morning, though," he grinned again.

"I would suggest we talk but I don't think there's much chance of either of us remembering it in the morning," Cat pointed out, now beginning to see the flaws in her perfect birthday present.

"We could settle for some heavy duty snogging?" Sirius asked hopefully, "I will certainly remember that." Cat grinned and magicked the door shut behind Sirius as he walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. They kissed fully and passionately, enjoying the residual heat of Firewhiskey on one another's tongues. Cat broke away, spun Sirius around and threw him on the bed. Then, walking slowly and deliberately towards him, she positioned herself so that she was leaning over his prone (and momentarily shocked) body. She smiled seductively, and leant over to whisper in his ear - an act that sent tingles up and down the Marauder's spine.  
"Happy birthday, Sirius."

* * *

James walked confidently over to Anna and Lily, as though moments ago he hadn't been drowning his sorrows in Firewhiskey. Lily saw him coming towards them and felt those annoying butterflies start up in her stomach again at the same time she felt the heat rise in her face.

"Hey girls," he said happily enough. _That's it, Potter, act natural. Things will be a-ok._

"Hey, James. Oh look, I think Remus needs me. See you round," Anna said, hurrying off to find her boyfriend so that Lily and James could be alone. _Subtle,_ Lily thought. Her next thoughts went along the lines of _bugger, she's left me with Potter. I can't cope with this. Stupid subconscious making me have inappropriate dreams. JUST ACT NORMAL!!_

James noticed the fact that he and Lily were now alone together. Consequently, he was now feeling more than usually sick, considering he'd only had about three drinks. Lily, who had drunk one and a half, could see the poor boy paling and suggested maybe they should sit down. James seized gratefully upon the offer, for at any second his legs might run the risk of giving way beneath him.

Once they were settled comfortably in a cosy booth, facing each other over a small table, that awful gnawing anxiety returned in full force, hitting them both.

"So, err, are you having a good time?" James asked awkwardly. Lily smiled at his apparent discomfort - _At least he's as nervous as me,_ she thought.

"It's okay. The music's a bit rubbish, but it's been fun anyway," she said.

"Yeah, and the birthday boy has gone and disappeared on us," James pointed out.

"I think Cat wanted to give him a special birthday present," Lily said grinning before she could stop herself.

James snorted, "No way!"

"I'm not sure what she had in mind but I'm just glad they aren't doing it anywhere near us," Lily said, laughing now that the ice had been broken. What had been going on between them anyway? On the way here they had been fine and then James had gone all funny. Although, from James' point of view, Lily had been acting odd all the way to Hogsmeade - really distant and vague - and he had consequently been a little strange himself.

"So, what did you get old Padfoot for his birthday?" James asked, glad that the tension had been broken and they could (almost) go back to their friendly ways.

"A bunch of stuff from Zonko's and a really nice photo album that Anna, Cat and I have started putting pictures in," she replied.

"That's really thoughtful," James said, marvelling at how sweet Lily could be.

"What about you?" she asked, before summoning two bottles of butterbeer (they had had quite enough alcohol in her opinion).

"The three of us pitched in to get him a new broom," James said cautiously, not wanting Lily to think that they had gone overboard, "The Comet three-sixty."

"Wow, that must've cost you an arm and a leg," Lily said in awe, "I read in one of your daft magazines that the Tornados just ordered a whole bunch of them."

"Well they did. They need all the help they can get with their terrible players," he smirked, glad that Lily had not thought he was trying to show off his family's wealth in buying his friend a racing broom.

The effects of the earlier alcohol were wearing off now and James noticed with increasing clarity that Lily was sitting really rather close to him. They had come to a brick wall in their conversation, and found themselves sharing another one of those gazing moments, although this time their eyes were trained on each others lips. During this pause in the conversation, both Lily and James were allowed some thinking time.

**Inside Lily's head:  
**You know what, Evans, I think you might be going crazy. Maybe it's the pressure of NEWTS, maybe all that extra responsibility that comes with being Head Girl, maybe these difficult and scary times we find ourselves living in what with muggle killings and mud blood hating, who knows? But you considering the possibility that you are falling for none other than infamous Marauder James Potter shows that your sanity is slipping. You need to get a grip. There is a difference between appreciating a person's good… or in fact, excellent points and getting a crush on them. I'm pretty sure you just appreciate James' good…perhaps excellent points. Your feeling of security around him just shows the strength of the friendship you have developed over a short period of time. You cannot be falling for him - that would be ridiculous! Laughable, in fact. Don't let one incredibly realistic dream ruin your relationship - no matter how lovely it may have been!  
Oh no, the silence is getting longer and longer. Say something!

**Inside James' head:  
**Quick, say something funny!  
Someone needs to say something or I'm not going to be able to cope with the silence. I'll snap and do something I'll regret. Like kiss her.  
Oh how I wish I could kiss her! Look at those lips; she's so perf-  
No, Potter, stop it! One more thought like that and you may as well sign your own death sentence - Lily would never speak to you again if she knew how you felt.  
Mind you, she has been acting a little strange all day. Kind of vague and distant. Maybe she's upset about something. Maybe I should ask her what's wrong…

"Lily?" James finally broke the silence, tearing his eyes away from her lips.

"Yes," she replied a little too quickly, as though she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have.

"You've been a little odd today. Are you okay?" he asked concernedly. Lily made her best attempt to seem annoyed, even though she knew perfectly well that she had been avoiding James' eye contact and acting strange around him in general.

"I'm fine, thanks," she said curtly, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's just you seem sort of-"

"That was a rhetorical question, Potter," she emphasised his last name. She didn't know why she was getting angry at him; it seemed that in her desire to keep James from finding out what was going on in her head, she was getting on the defensive. James, a little hurt by Lily's tone, responded a bit more rudely than he had intended.

"Sorry, Evans, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, but clearly you're just fine," he said sarcastically.

"What is your problem?" Lily demanded, now genuinely irritated by his having to know everything. Honestly, just because he shared a dormitory with her and helped her out that one time when she'd had a bad dream, he thought he deserved to know everything?

"My problem?" he repeated, incredulously, "I just asked if everything was okay with you and you go and bite my bloody head off! You're the problem, Evans," he said hotly, pointing a finger at her. James' temper was about as short as Lily's thanks to the three bottles of Firewhiskey.

"Me? What, just because I haven't been speaking to lord-Potter all night, you assume something's wrong? Could you be any more egotistical?" she cried.

"Lord-Potter - where the bloody hell did that come from? And I'm not egotistical," he spluttered, "I just wanted to check that you were freaking okay!"

"Sure, because you care so much!" she nearly yelled, sarcasm ringing in her voice.

"I do care, Lily! Don't you want me to?" he matched her volume.

"I can take care of myself. Just bloody stay out of it!" she cried, wishing that he would just let it drop.

James simply looked as if he had been slapped in the face. Lily suddenly wished the words were back in her mouth as soon as she saw the look on the quidditch players face.

"Well, I'm glad we sorted that out," he said softly, before swiftly getting up and returning to the bar. Lily just sat dumbly, staring at his back as it retreated through the throng of people. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. What had she done?

* * *

AN - Sorry, please don't hate me for leaving things like this. I rewrote this chapter so many times!! first they got together, then they had another hypothetical kiss (which was cute) but eventually i settled on this one. i think it fits in best with their characterisation and with the pace of the story.  
thank you to all of you beautiful reviewers - you absolutely make my day!!  
Also, Lily swings between being awkward with James to acting like everything's fine - it's supposed to be like this because she's trying to sort out her feelings towards him but is having to contend with the voices in her head and also with denial. so i hope that's ok!  
please do let me know what you think of this chapter - it was the most difficult one to write but i decided to post it anyway so that i can get on with the story and get to the lily and james cuteness. so yes, please review!! and thanks again for reading this fic :)


	25. Apologies at Christmastime

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Disclaimer:

I do not own Harry Potter

AN - Please don't throw things at me for what I'm about to do. Having said that, enjoy? :)... :S

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* * *

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Chapter 24 - Apologies at Christmastime:

James and Lily successfully avoided one another for the rest of the evening and even on the trip back. James announced to Sirius, in tones loud enough for Lily to hear, that he would be sleeping in the Marauders dorms for old times sake. Lily was simultaneously relieved and crushed. She wouldn't have to face him and the inevitable awkward silences and stilted conversations that would follow. And yet she wouldn't have a chance to set things straight. She had acted appallingly at the pub, and things had just simply gotten out of hand. She wanted desperately to apologise to James but was having a hard time swallowing that pride. Lying on her couch in front of the morning fire, flipping through the well-loved copy of Pride and Prejudice, she felt more like Elizabeth Bennett than she cared to admit.

As much as she wanted to apologise to James for being unnecessarily rude, she wanted him to apologise to her for starting it. She knew it was childish, but she wanted him to be sorry too so that it wasn't just her in the wrong.

Lily sighed heavily, dropping her book onto the floor. She couldn't just sit here and do nothing, she felt downright miserable. _Why should I feel so upset over a fight with Potter? We used to argue almost constantly last year. Perhaps it's because he's head boy and we're sort of friends now,_ she justified, _and it's all my fault._

Sick of thinking about it, and in desperate need of some sleep, Lily decided to write down her jumbled emotions and thoughts. But she would write James a note, too, so that if she was sleeping when he returned he could read it and not be upset with her any more. It was a cowards way out, she knew, but it had to be done.

James, meanwhile, had spent the three intervening hours between their departure from Hogsmeade and the first morning light, lying on his old bed thinking about Lily. What on earth had happened between them? He knew Lily had a fiery temper - that much had been proved over the years - but he seriously couldn't work out where he'd gone wrong. Of course, calling her a problem wasn't a wise move, but she had gone off at him before that, when he had asked how she was. He must've touched a nerve or something because she worked herself up into a good and proper state. He was genuinely baffled.

And he hated feeling like this. This angry impotence - knowing he wanted to fix things but didn't know how. He wanted to say something that could put things right between them and yet he had no idea where to start. And a part of him wanted Lily to apologise. After all, she had started the argument, James decided. Frustrated, tired and a little bit hung over, he decided to clear his head with an early morning fly about the quidditch pitch. Slipping on his invisibility cloak, which he had in his pocket for safe-keeping, he crept out of the dormitory, down the stairs and out the portrait hole, managing to only trip over three separate items on his way.

* * *

Dear James,

Firstly let me say that I am really, really sorry for the way I acted last night. I bit your head off just for you asking me if I was okay. I shouldn't have done that. I was feeling a bit weird (as you very observantly noticed) and I wasn't myself.

I don't know how to explain why because I'm not really sure myself. All I know is I shouldn't have treated you the way I did. So I'm sorry.

But for future reference, if a person isn't feeling their best, telling them that they've been acting 'strange' or 'funny' doesn't exactly put them in the best of spirits - just a friendly pointer.

This is harder to write than I thought it would be. Really I should come and find you to apologise in person but I'm too tired… And also, I'm not great with apologies. Something to do with stubborn pride…

Anyway, part of the reason I am so annoyed at myself for getting angry at you is because I was being a hypocrite. I told you off last night for caring about me and I should not have done that. Because who am I to say that you can't be worried about a friend? And also because I love that you care.

This is the part I didn't want to say in person (because I can't stand to see that self-satisfied smirk): you make me feel safe. And I fully appreciate you wanting to know what's wrong with me.

Enough of this rambling - I may as well just tell you.

I had a dream the other night. You were in it (no, you weren't murdered this time - it was quite a relief) and we were… well, we were kissing. And as you can imagine, I was a bit embarrassed on account of having this dream in the first place, because we're friends, right? So I had been sort of avoiding you specifically all day, and when you asked me what was wrong, I just couldn't tell you and got all defensive and, yeah. The rest is history. So that's why I was so awful.

I know it's no excuse, but I hope you can forgive me because I genuinely value your friendship.

Lily.

--

Lily read over the draft she had written in her dream diary. Deciding it was too long and far too detailed (for James, at any rate - his big head would explode!) she quickly penned the abridged version:

--

James,

I'm really sorry about last night. I had no right to go off at you like I did and I truly regret it. I'm not entirely sure why I got so angry, either, so please don't ask.

I hope we can still be friends,

Lily.

There, that was better. And far less complimentary. No chance of exploding his big head with this little letter. Lily fastened it to the leg of her owl, and sent it off to James. Then she felt something vaguely like relief wash over her and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, still curled up in the corner of her bay window.

* * *

Harry read his mother's note with great interest. Finally, things seemed to be moving along for his parents. They had argued, clearly, over something and it was his mother trying to set things straight. This had to be significant. Harry decided at this point to send Ginny an owl, explaining where he was and why he was taking so long. He had simply told her that he was going out and would be back later. He didn't wish for her or any of the Weasleys to start worrying about his whereabouts; it was nearly dark by now. Scribbling a hasty note, he sent it off directly with a banishing spell (he still hadn't found a replacement for Hedwig). That done, Harry eagerly returned to his reading.

* * *

James was on his fifth lap of the pitch when he saw a small brown speck approaching him. He slowed down and noticed that this small brown speck was in fact Lily's owl, Gemini. Bemused and more than a little intrigued, he flew over to meet the bird, hastily untying the letter attached to its leg. Gemini flew away immediately; apparently Lily wasn't expecting a reply. Unfurling the letter in mid air, James read it quickly once and then a few times more. He wasn't sure how it made him feel. On the one hand he was pleased that Lily had apologised for her strangeness. On the other hand, she still didn't trust him enough to offer a reason for it and additionally, she hadn't been able to apologise in person.

James hung pensively in mid-air for a moment. What to do?

He decided that the best course of action would be to ask his friends - after all, they seemed to have no trouble hanging onto their girlfriends… or so he thought.

* * *

"It's not like we did anything we weren't ready for," Sirius argued, his head feeling as though it was going to split open.

"I know that, but it's about what everyone else thinks," Cat retorted, "I knew I should've gotten you a proper present."

"What does it matter what everyone else in our year thinks?"

"It just does!" she cried, looking close to hysterical, "And you should've stopped me!"

"It was my birthday!" he said indignantly, "And what's wrong with me anyway?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, I just don't want people to think we've slept together."

"But we did sleep together," Sirius sighed, rubbing his palms over his eye sockets, "And it was great. Fantastic, actually. Where'd you learn to do that thing whe-"

"Don't even say it," Cat said, turning red, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Listen, Cat. Last night was fabulous - definitely my favourite birthday. But my favourite present wasn't the you-know-what," he said in exaggerated tones, "It was just being with you."  
Cat smiled (despite her embarrassment) at this - Sirius Black, ladies man and prankster extraordinaire was not only romantic but cheesy too. How sweet!  
"And my favourite part was when you said you loved me," he said softly, looking up at her. Her brown eyes filled with tears at this point, and she walked over to her boyfriend, engulfing him in a tight embrace.

"Sorry. It's just I can't believe that we did that," she whispered, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Me neither," he grinned goofily.

"It was rather fun, though," Cat admitted.

"Yeah, we should definitely give it another go sometime," Sirius grinned cheekily. Cat pushed him away playfully.

"You were hung over a few minutes ago, you git," she joked. "Actually, I was wondering…"

"Yeah?" Sirius asked, returning to the abandoned chair in the middle of the room of requirement (their meeting place that morning).

"Can we keep this a secret?"

"What?"

"You know, the… thing"

"Oh, right. Err, why?"

"Coz I don't want my friends to think I'm easy."

"They won't think that."

"Regardless, I don't want to tell them yet. Besides," she said with a grin, "Wouldn't it be more fun if we kept it a secret?". Sirius merely grinned at her and pulled her around the waist so that she was sitting on his lap.

"I really love you, you know," he said, before kissing her soundly on the lips.

* * *

James discovered, much to his dismay, that Sirius was somewhere other than their dormitories (presumably the room of requirement, as he wasn't showing up on the map). So James resorted to option b, Remus. Although he was a great friend, Remus had always been exceedingly sensible and it was likely that the sort of biased empathy James got from Sirius would not be given to him by the former.

"You're up early," Remus remarked when James entered the Marauder's dormitory. Not surprisingly, Remus was sitting on his bed with a chocolate bar and a massive book written entirely in runes.

"Didn't sleep very well. Thought an early morning flight would be good," James replied, plonking down on Sirius' bed next to Remus'.

"This lack of sleep wouldn't have anything to do with our lovely Head Girl, would it?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow although he was still reading his book.

"What makes you say that?"  
Missing the obvious sarcasm in James' voice, Remus responded "Anna and I saw you two arguing and it was sort of difficult not to notice the obvious silence between the two of you on the way back. And then you slept in here last night, when usually you'd be near to her as possible, in case she has another nightmare or something-"  
"Moony, it's called sarcasm."

"So what's wrong this time?" he asked, looking at James. By means of response, James simply handed him the letter. Well, it was more of a note than anything. Remus read it quickly.

"What did she 'go off at you' for?" he asked, handing the note back to James.

"I asked her what was wrong," he replied, "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Well, according to her, obviously something. You didn't ask her about her womanly issues, did you?"

"Of course not. Give me some credit, Moony, I do learn from my mistakes," he grimaced, remembering the last time he had asked a girl about her monthly mood swings.

"Did you tell her she looked weird?"

"Nope, only that she had been strange and what not."

"Hmm," Remus said thoughtfully. Then he snapped out of his little ceiling-staring reverie and asked "So why are you showing me this?"

"Because I don't know what to do now," James said.

"Well, she apologised to you, so generally that means you apologise back," Remus said, making to return to his reading, but James stopped him.

"But I don't know if I want to forgive her." Remus nearly choked on the mouthful of chocolate he had been intending to swallow.

"Wh-what?!" he managed to splutter.

"I'm not sure if I find this apology to be accurate or even sincere."

"It's Lily, James, she doesn't say things unless she means them."

"Yes, but she didn't even say it. She just wrote me a bloody letter."

"She's talking to you at least. Come on. This is Lily and she's apologising to you."

"Yes, but I'm sick of her treating me differently to how she treats everyone else. Why should I be punished?"

"Prongs, I think you're being a bit unreasonable here-"

"No, I'm bloody not!"

"Well, if that's the case, then why are you asking for my help?"

"Because I wanted to know if it was irrational to still be annoyed at Lily, and you have Anna so I thought you'd know best."

"Firstly, it seems like you've made up your mind about Lily anyway. And secondly, I'm not sure how long I can keep this up with Anna." He ran a hand distractedly through his sandy hair. James felt instantly guilty for being so self centred - he hadn't even asked how Remus and Anna were going.

"Mate, you've only been 'together' for like a week. What do you mean 'can't keep this up'?"

"I mean, the longer I'm with her, the more chance she has of noticing… how I am… once a month. And she'll hate me for it, I just know!"

"Moony, she won't hate you for something you can't help. She's a good girl, that Anna, she'll see reason," James argued.

"But I can't bring myself to tell her. I mean, we've only been together for a week, and you know how quickly she moves through guys. Imagine I tell her my secret and we split up the next day. That would be horrible," he shuddered. James considered his self-conscious friend.

"I think that she'll be more upset if you keep things from her," he pointed out.

"I thought you were coming to me for advice," Remus pointed out grumpily.

"Okay," James raised his hands in innocence, "Sorry."

"So you don't know if you should accept Lily's apology or not?" Remus summarised.

"Pretty much," James responded. "I mean, it'd be ok if she had said it in person."

"Have you considered maybe she's just tired?"

James ignored this suggestion, "And she still didn't explain why she got so angry in the first place," James added, his own irritation rising.

"I think you've pretty much made up your mind," Remus said, "But if you want my advice, here it is. Lily is a sweet witch, who you want to be on good terms with. In rejecting this apology you would cause extreme awkwardness and discomfort. Lily, I think, deserves better, as do you. However, I will assume Sirius' position for a moment as devil's advocate. Ahem - Evans deserves a taste of how she's treated you all these years and you should definitely make her wait."

"I don't want to make her wait… Hold on, wait for what?"

"Make her wait for you to accept her apology."

"Oh. Okay. But I don't want to upset her. She's still in the wrong, though," he pointed out, more hopefully than anything else.

"That's what Sirius would say, at any rate, I have no doubt. So what are you going to do?" Remus asked, although he already knew the answer.

"I'm going to ask Evans why she was so rude to me, because if she doesn't trust me I don't understand how our friendship or relationship is ever going to work," James stated resolutely.

"You do realise that she will think that you haven't accepted her apology, right?"

"Yeah, coz I haven't yet."

"Well, I think you're being a bit selfish but I suppose I can very, very vaguely see where you're coming from," Remus said, examining James with that Dumbledore-esque x-ray stare. "Just have some tact, okay?"  
But James was already halfway to the door; "Thanks Moony," he called over his shoulder.

* * *

Lily was woken up by a loud knock on her bedroom door. Startled, she fell off the window seat she was on. **Thump!**

"Are you in there?" came James' slightly impatient voice. Smoothing down her bed hair and quickly dusting off her shirt, Lily scrambled to the door. When she opened it she did not see what she was expecting. That is to say, she wasn't expecting a very disgruntled looking James to be standing in her way, arms folded, clothes rumpled from sleep.

"Err, hello," Lily said awkwardly, resisting the temptation to slam the door in James' face.

"Why did you send me that note?" James demanded without preamble.

"What?" Lily was thoroughly confused.

"Why did you send me that note?" James repeated slowly.

"Clearly because I wanted to apologise to you. Didn't you read it?" she asked.

"I read it. You didn't even tell me what I did wrong in the first place," he stated succinctly.

"Coz it doesn't matter."

"If it doesn't matter, why'd you get angry in the first place then?" he retorted.

"It's none of your business," Lily said, her temper flaring, "I apologised, so what's your problem?"

"An apology isn't an apology if you don't mean it."

"Of course I meant it! Don't be stupid!"

"Oh so now I'm being stupid? That's just bloody brilliant, thanks," James said, his patience and rationality at an end.

"James!" she cried in frustration, actually stamping her foot.

"What?" he replied, his usually smiling face flushed with anger, "Are you going to apologise again or further insult my intelligence? Or better yet, are you going actually tell me the truth?"

Lily just glared at him.

"I don't have to tell you anything, Potter," she said angrily, "You don't have any right to tell me whether or not my apology was sincere or demand to know what's wrong! I was sorry for the way I acted last night, but now I'm glad it happened, because I can see that you haven't changed at all!"

"Haven't changed at all?" James spluttered, "What do you bloody mean by that?"

"Stop asking me all these questions. I don't answer to you, Potter, so just leave me alone!" she yelled.

"Fine," he yelled back, storming down Lily's staircase as she slammed the door behind him.

Lily, overcome with a sudden wave of numbness now that James had left, sat down on her bed and stared blankly at the wall. What the hell had just happened?

She had apologised to Potter for acting terribly the night before. She had therefore expected him to accept her apology and perhaps apologise himself for something or other and they would go back to being the way they were. Only he hadn't. Lily vaguely heard the portrait hole slam shut. She burst into tears.

James, meanwhile, had stormed out of Lily's doorway, down the stairs and into their common room. He stared around recklessly for a moment, looking for something to do that would distract him. Deciding that there was definitely nothing that could stop him from hearing Lily's angry voice in his head, he placed a well-aimed kick at the couch and proceeded to exit the common room, determined to find Sirius and explain this crazy situation to him.

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary:

It's official. James Potter does not love me anymore. Not that I think he ever truly did - it was the thrill of the chase I think. In any case, I have no doubt that he hates me at this point in time. I wasn't very nice to him, I'll admit, but I sent him an apology - which he threw back in my face! I mean, what gives?

Okay, so I was too chicken to talk to him in person, but he doesn't know that. For all he knew, I could've just been really tired (which I was, by the way). But no, he decides to think the worst of me and then go and attack me for it. That's simply not the sort of behaviour you expect from someone who claims they love you.

Loved you, that is.

Only thing is, I can't for the life of me work out why this is so upsetting. Last year James and I fought all the time. And I mean, all the time. Mealtimes, Hogsmeade, in the common room, in between classes. Okay, so it was mostly me doing the arguing or the yelling, but he was still a part of it. This time it's different. It feels like it's my fault and it feels like he's actually upset with me. Genuinely upset.

ARGH!  
He just makes my blood boil. How dare he presume that he has a right to know everything about me! Especially when I'd told him to drop the subject. He hasn't changed one bit. He still thinks I'm his property. Like in fifth year when I was dating that Raven claw whose name escapes me and Potter scared him off with threats from his little Marauder cronies. I am my own person and I may do and say as I please, and if James bloody Potter doesn't like it, then too bad.

…

So why am I still crying?

**James' Occlumency Diary:**

Well, it's good to know at least Sirius agrees with me. He also thinks that Evans is being a stubborn witch and is keeping secrets from me. Sure, I know she's not mine and she doesn't have to answer to me but I was only concerned for her. Why can't she see that?

I've never been more frustrated with her in my entire life. And that includes the time she used the bat-bogey hex on me in front of the whole quidditch team!

I still love her though, Merlin only knows why!

I may love her, but I don't have to like her right now.

* * *

Over the following week, Lily and James had reverted back to their old ways, only with James partaking in the arguments with less jocular humour and more acting increasingly like an irritated Hippogriff. In fact, James had even reverted back to his old residence in the Marauder's dormitory so that he wouldn't have to go through the exhausting ordeal of seeing Lily every morning. Lily enjoyed this solitude, thinking bitterly to herself _at least there's no one here constantly asking me what's wrong!_

Of course, apart from the new sleeping arrangements, their friends noticed the small sniping comments ("Pass the butter, Potter" "I'm sorry Evans, but it's not my butter to look after") and soon the whole school grew to notice the tension between the Head Boy and Girl who, up until quite recently, had been perceived as close friends after more than a few angry shouts were exchanged.

As the ridiculously long week drew to a close, Lily and James were at breaking point. It was Christmas eve at Hogwarts and the vast majority of students had returned to their families. Those who had stayed (which included Lily, James, their friends, plus some other random students) were unfortunate enough to bear witness to the epic showdown between the pair.

They had all finished eating their dinner, and were proceeding back up to the common room when Lily noticed James staring at her in a strange way. Nobody knew quite how the argument started, or how it escalated so quickly, but soon the pair were in a full blown screaming match with one another, wands drawn.

"Why can't you just admit that you were wrong?" James roared, red in the face.

"I don't owe anything to you, you arrogant, self-important, bullying ass-"

"Miss Evans, Mister Potter!" McGonagall's shrill voice rang clearly through the corridor. Lily and James turned to face her, similar expressions on their faces (ones that read 'if I weren't so angry right now I would look ashamed and embarrassed'). They were in for it now.

"Come with me," she said loudly, turning on heel and leading them to her office. Closing the door with a flick of her wand, she did not offer them seats or the customary ginger newt.

"Never in all my years have I seen such a disgusting display from our Head students," she began, nostrils flaring characteristically.

"Would either of you care to explain what caused such a disruption?" she asked. When she got nothing but blank stares from either of them, she continued huffily.

"Well, if that's all either of you have to say, detention tomorrow night. Come to my office at eight o'clock. Do not be late. You are dismissed."

Lily and James proceeded silently out of her office and back up to their shared common room together, neither one of them saying a word. They had agreed previously that on Christmas eve the whole lot of them would gather in the Heads' Common Room and exchange gifts. No one was particularly looking forward to exposing Lily and James to one another for an extended period of time, particularly if they had to stick around and view the consequences and/or pick up the pieces. However, none of them had a choice, as this had been prearranged since the death of Cat's father, as her friends hadn't wanted her to be reminded of him at Christmas, and no one wanted to dishonour their vow to help her through.

* * *

Lily and James sat in stony silence on opposite ends of their common room; Lily, arms crossed, in an arm chair and James, arms crossed, by his desk. This is what Sirius saw upon entering the room.

"Well, well, looks like there's still trouble in paradise," he commented with a smirk.

"Shut up, Black," Lily said angrily.

"Don't talk to him like that!" James retaliated.

"I'll speak to him like I bloody please."

"Oh, sure, you'll speak to Padfoot, you just won't speak to me."

"Change the record, Potter, it's getting old."

"Excuse me, Evans, but-"

"Guys," Sirius interjected loudly, "Enough is enough! Can't you two just let it go?"  
All he got in response were matching glares from the angry teens.  
"Fine, stay mad over this stupid fight, I don't care. Just be nice tonight, okay? We're all coming up here to celebrate Christmas together, like a family," he said. James had the decency to look slightly guilty at this point - Sirius had run away from home and was practically a brother to him. They were family through and through. "And we are doing this for Cat, we need to help her have a good time. So she can forget," he said quietly, turning his gaze towards Lily, whose turn it was (as Cat's best friend) to feel shame.  
"So can you manage that? Just for one night?" Sirius asked reasonably. He got a grunt of assent from James and a brief nod from Lily. Taking this as a good sign, and definitely an improvement on their bickering, Sirius got up to prod about the Christmas tree.

The Heads' specially assigned house elf, Ellie, had once again outdone herself in decorating the room for the festive season. Tinsel of bright red and gold adorned the room, holly hung in bunches and was strewn amongst small Christmas ornaments on the mantle of the fireplace. Strategically, mistletoe had been left out of the equation - Ellie really did have a sixth sense for this sort of thing, and secretly both Lily and James were grateful for it. How hard would it be to have to kiss someone who you harboured feelings for but were currently extremely cross at? Exactly - too hard.

The smallish tree had been decorated by the residents one cheerful afternoon before Sirius' birthday and the madness that followed it, and sat between the fireplace and the bathroom. A shimmering gold star shone atop the tree which was garnished sparingly with tinsel and baubles ('no, James, less is more!'). Several large boxes were placed under the tree, some for Lily and James' friends and some for the Heads themselves that had been sent by their families. Sirius had picked up a smallish parcel that was addressed to him from Lily and the girls, and was shaking it experimentally, when the portrait hole swung open to reveal Cat and Anna, followed by a tired looking Remus and a nervous looking Peter.

"Sirius, stop trying to guess what we got you. You'll find out in a few minutes anyway," Anna reprimanded.

But Sirius just ignored her, bellowing "Happy Christmas" to his friends instead. Cat smiled at him and walked over to give him a hug. Lily repositioned herself on the armchair and motioned for those still clustered near the entrance to come and sit with her. James, too, made a small effort and walked over to sit on the floor next to Peter. The other two stopped their hugging and promptly sat down as well, so that they were all, more or less, in a semi-circle around the tree.

Sirius clapped his hands together like an eager child.

"Who's first?" he said excitedly. Although he was making an effort to help Cat forget about her family for the night, Sirius was also genuinely psyched about Christmas - now that he was away from his family, it was his absolute favourite time of the year (with the possible exception of Halloween and the start of the quidditch season).

"How about you go first, Padfoot?" Remus smiled, noting his friend's excitement. Sirius reached forward and opened the box of Honeydukes' lollies, hand-knitted scarf and packet of Zonko's trouble-making apparatus, thanking the girls profusely for such a thoughtful present. When no one was looking, Cat whispered in his ear "I got you something special, but I'll give it to you later."

Sirius' bemused expression was interrupted when James announced that the Marauder's present for Sirius was on hold because they'd spent all their money on his new broomstick. At this point, Sirius charmed his new scarf to repeatedly slap his three best friends around the head.

As the night wore on, and the presents were opened, conversation became surprisingly forced. This was due mostly to a combination of Lily and James' mutual discontent and the fact that they were listening to the Christmas broadcast on the wizarding wireless, which kept updating them on suspected death eater activity. This pretty much killed the mood, and when Sirius zapped the radio off with a flick of his wand, they were left in an awkward silence.

"Well, I think it's time we all went to bed," Remus said.

"We had better, or Santa Claus won't come," Peter chipped in. Everyone just gave him weird looks (except for James who took muggle studies, and Lily who was familiar with the concept of a fat man in a red suit sliding down the chimney).

"Err, right," Sirius said, "Thanks for having us, guys," he said, herding the others out of the room with haste. He had secretly decided that if he left James and Lily alone together for long enough, they would finally sort things out, because frankly their constant bickering was starting to grate on him in a way it never had before. This may have been due to the fact that Cat was Lily's friend, and he James'. There was a definite conflict of interest, and he and Cat were struggling to cope with the strain it was putting on their own relationship. Therefore, Sirius had resolved to help the two out, considering it was his birthday party that pushed the them to madness in the first place.

"Well," Lily began awkwardly, but upon catching James' expression, she retuned to looking into the fire.

"I'm going to go to bed now," she said softly, sadness etched in the frown lines upon her forehead.

"Good night," James said shortly. He paused, "Merry Christmas, Evans."

"Merry Christmas, Potter."

* * *

**AN** - I know I said this chapter would be the chapter, but i lied :S  
also, i delayed posting this so that i could write the next chapter so that u guys wouldn't have time to be angry at me- this should be out in the next hour or two (im still writing the good bit)  
i hope you understand why they needed to fight (staying in character and all that) and doubtless u can all see where i'm going with this detention business!  
PLEASE REVIEW!! :) hope you liked it!!

Next Chapter:  
_Suddenly it was seven fifty, and Lily and James were both heading to their detention. Lily, freshly showered and quaking with fear at the prospect of telling James the truth, left the common room first...  
__Remus was genuinely falling for Anna - it would hurt him too much if she ended things. Little did he know that she, too, was keeping a secret from him...  
__"Oh, I think I have a vague idea. I am dating a Marauder, after all," she grinned, before leaning across to kiss him once more._


	26. Detention

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. But one day James will be mine...

AN - FINALLY!! i will say no more except enjoy and please review :) ps it's now seven minutes to five in the morning so if there are typos, im really sorry but i had to post this. i'll go back and fix things later if they don't make sense so apologies in advance lol :)

* * *

**Chapter 25 - Detention:**

Christmas began normally enough. The students remaining at Hogwarts tumbled out of bed, rubbing their bleary eyes; whooped with joy at their mini-mountains of presents; opened said presents and continued on to breakfast by about eleven o'clock. This was true of most of Hogwarts' inhabitants, with the exception of Lily and James, who had both had restless nights and had secluded themselves in their bedrooms. After their latest yelling match, assignation of detention and awkward atmosphere of the previous night, neither had felt much like resting. Ellie had left them each both breakfast and lunch, delivering it individually to their rooms with the faint pop that signifies house elf magic.

Three o'clock in the afternoon rolled around and Lily found herself rather needing to go to the bathroom. Praying that James wasn't downstairs, she opened her door as silently as possible and crept out onto the small landing at the top of the staircase. Or it would've been quietly, had she not tripped over a smallish box that was stationed right outside her door. She stumbled and swore under her breath, stopping herself from tumbling down the stairs completely by grabbing onto the railing. She bent over to examine the offending object and realised that it was, in fact, a Christmas present. Curious, Lily examined the parcel which seemed to be approximately the size of a photo frame. Turning it over in her hand, Lily saw the small sticker on the wrapping; written in familiar scrawling handwriting was _To Lily, From James_. There was no note or card, which was curious. Did this mean that things between her and James were back to normal? Then Lily realised that James wouldn't have put it there without an explanation. Ellie must've noticed the present lying around James' room and would've taken it upon herself to deliver it to the right person. _Sweet little thing,_ Lily thought to herself. But then she was conflicted. What should she do? She hadn't left James' present out for him. It was still sitting heavily in the bottom of her school trunk where she had flung it after he had rejected her apology.

And would James even want her to open it now? They were barely on speaking terms; surely he would want to return the gift and get his galleons back. But, Lily decided, it serves him right for just leaving his stuff around in the first place.

With this in mind, Lily returned to the safe confines of her bedroom and sat on her bed carefully unwrapping the gift - all thoughts of needing the toilet (not to mention a good shower) banished from her mind.

James, meanwhile, was sat on his bed, huffily reading his Herbology textbook. He had decided that since he and Lily weren't talking he might as well make the most of his alone time (he knew Sirius, Remus and Peter would be sleeping for probably the entire day). And James had decided, in a most uncharacteristic display of conscientiousness, that he may as well put his time to good use ie study. Only thing was, he couldn't seem to get Lily out of his head long enough to focus on how to best tackle a devil's snare.

Thoroughly frustrated that the impossible girl was ruining a perfectly good Christmas, James slammed his book shut and began to pace the room. He strode over to his window seat and took a good look outside. The snow now covered the grounds in a thick white blanket, and James wished he was out there playing in it. Instead, he sat down and penned a short letter to his dad.

* * *

Dear Dad,

Merry Christmas! Thanks for the book, _Quidditch Through the Ages,_ I've already finished it and I'm passing it on to Sirius next. Did you like your present?

I hope you're not too lonely all by yourself, but by all accounts you sound too busy to have time to miss me much. It's a pity you couldn't have me home for the holidays, but I'll cope.

How are things at the ministry? You would think death eaters would take a break for Christmas, ey? But, no, they have to ruin a perfectly good holiday as well.

I was just looking out my window - from my private head boy bedroom - and I can see the snow. Is it snowing back home? I remember one Christmas, I was about seven, and you and me and mum and Alex built that massive snow palace. And we did it without magic, too, like muggles. We had Christmas cake in there, remember, and when gran and pa came over to visit they said we were mad just sitting in a snow hut when it was so much warmer inside. I remember you said, "ah, there's nothing more perfect than snow on Christmas". I hope it's snowing where you are, dad.

I miss you and can't wait to see you for new years (if it's still on). Please stay safe.

James.

* * *

Lily examined the photo frame in her hands. It was rectangular and sort of silvery, although she could almost make out other colours in it - like an oil spill. Inside the frame was a photo of herself, Cat, Anna, James, Sirius and Remus - Peter had taken the photo with a wizarding camera after class a few weeks ago as a part of his and James' muggle studies project. They were comparing everyday items belonging to muggles with their wizarding counterparts.

The photo was perfect; they were all just in their school uniforms, holding their books, smiling and laughing at the camera at something Sirius had said. It was a perfect snapshot of their time at Hogwarts which, Lily reflected sadly, they would be leaving all too soon.

On the back of the frame, James had had a small inscription engraved _To Lily, Merry Christmas. Thanks for being a great friend and a top class Head Girl. James, 1977._

Lily's heart sank. James was being such a nice person. He had gotten her such a thoughtful gift, and when she stopped to think, he had really been nothing but kind and concerned for her. She felt that horrible feeling of guilt combined with self-loathing building up inside her.

**Lily's Occlumency Diary:**

I overreacted to his show of concern that night in Hogsmeade. I went crazy at him for no good reason. And then I apologised but only half-heartedly.

If I apologise properly, will he even want me back? After the way I've treated him, I highly doubt it. But I have to try and set things straight, or I will never get another night's sleep! I also have to take a shower - I actually disgust myself.

* * *

"So, do you think Prongs and Evans will figure things out?" Sirius asked Cat, as they sat in an empty classroom together. Cat leaned back on his chest, feet propped up on the table in front of her.

"I dunno, Lils can be pretty stubborn when she wants to be. But she does like him," she said thoughtfully.

"Hmm. Well, I think they ought to work out their differences in detention tonight," Sirius replied, "Nothing like three hours of structured time together to really get to know a person." Cat chuckled, draping her arm across his chest.

"How long do you reckon we have?" she asked flirtatiously. Sirius blushed - something he was not used to doing in the presence of girls.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said with an adorably high voice. Cat grinned and slapped him playfully on the chest.

"I didn't mean that, Black. You honestly think I'd do it in the transfiguration classroom? I'd never be able to concentrate in here again!" she looked up at him.

"I wasn't suggesting that anyway, Cat," he grinned, "Maybe some other time, ey?". She rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I have my Christmas present for you," she said, sitting up properly and extracting a small parcel from a pocket inside her robes.

"I see you're wearing the one I gave you," Sirius smiled happily, reaching out to play with the fine silver chain around her neck.

"Yes, because it's beautiful. Thank you. But open yours," she insisted, giving him the small gift. Sirius slowly and deliberately peeled off the spell-o-tape and the wrapping paper to reveal…

"A knife, ey? Kinky," Sirius said jokingly, although he was somewhat perplexed by Cat's gift.

"It's not just any knife," Cat said with something close to a mischievous grin on her face, "It unlocks things."

"What, like doors and stuff?"

"Yep."

"Cool. Where'd you get it?"

"That would be telling," she said, "Suffice it to say that you can't tell Lily or she will disown me as a friend, and then chuck me in detention for the rest of my days."

"That illegal, huh? Awesome!" Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear. This was truly one of the most thoughtful gifts anyone had ever given him.

"Thank you," he said, turning to look at her, "You have no idea how much this is going to come in handy!"

"Oh, I think I have a vague idea. I am dating a Marauder, after all," she grinned, before leaning across to kiss him once more.

* * *

"Should I tell Anna?" Remus asked Peter out of the blue.

"What?" Peter responded absent-mindedly, moving his knight to take out one of Remus' pawns.

"Should I tell her about my condition?" Remus said in a whisper (even though they were the only two people in the common room).

"Why would you tell her?" Peter asked, sweeping the debris of the pawn to the side of the chess set.

"Because she's my girlfriend and we shouldn't keep secrets."

"Why wouldn't you tell her, then?"

"Because she might think I'm a hideous monster and never speak to me again," Remus replied sadly, abandoning the game of chess, and moving to look out the window. Anna had floo-ed out of the castle that morning to visit her family for Christmas lunch. She had no idea how much he wanted to tell her his secret - he felt like it was eating away at him on the inside. He was sick with guilt that he hadn't told her and yet he was equally anxious about rejection. Remus was genuinely falling for Anna - it would hurt him too much if she ended things. Little did he know that she, too, was keeping a secret from him. Little did he know that she was not actually visiting her family for Christmas…

Peter tried his best to convince Remus that he wasn't a hideous monster, but being Peter, he could not manage very much other than "Moony, you're not a hideous monster. You just have a- a problem."  
Remus just sighed and returned to the game of chess, moving his queen one space to the left.

"Check mate."

* * *

Suddenly it was seven fifty, and Lily and James were both heading to their detention. Lily, freshly showered and quaking with fear at the prospect of telling James the truth, left the common room first. James followed a good three minutes later, checking her progress on the Marauder's map so that he wouldn't run into her. Lily stood outside her head of house's office, going over in her head what she would say to James when he arrived.

_James, I'm really sorry about everything. The reason I was so weird at Hogsmeade was because I had a dream about you and quite frankly it freaked me out and I took it out on you which really wasn't fair. And I'm really sorry for all the nasty names I called you. You're not arrogant or bullying or any of those things and I'm sorry I said them because they weren't true. Please forgive me. _

Lily grimaced slightly. She sounded like she was grovelling. But she, Lily Evans, would never grovel! No, she was just making a super sincere apology. She needed for James to understand and for him to forgive her. She didn't really want him to think to much on his being in her dream - no doubt he would make a big deal out of this - but it was necessary that she told him the whole truth and nothing but the truth, Merlin help her.

James strode casually and calmly towards the doors where Lily was waiting. She looked up at him when she heard his footsteps echoing in the distance but when she looked up he pointedly avoided her gaze.

_Wow,_ Lily thought, _I must've made him angry. He won't even look at me. _As James came closer, Lily began to panic. _Okay, where do I start? Where do I bloody start?! I was wrong and I'm sorry, start with that. I was wrong and I'm sorry. Just say it!._ Lily opened her mouth to speak to him, when McGonagall's door opened and her brisk voice said, "Follow me." Lily closed her mouth again, feeling a little stupid, and mutely followed the professor down the corridor.

"This classroom was the site of a particularly nasty sludge incident," McGonagall said when they reached a large second-year class room, "You have three hours to clean p this mess, without magic. I take it I don't need to tell you to behave?" she queried rhetorically before sweeping out of the room and locking the door behind her.

James and Lily stood and stared at the buckets of soapy water before them, then at the slightly slimy classroom. It appeared something had indeed exploded, leaving a thin, now crusty layer of stuff over the table and walls. Sighing heavily, as though the site of the classroom in such disrepair was causing him personal grief, James started forward and picked up a sponge. He dunked it in the water and began to scrub furiously at the closest desk. Lily just stared. She couldn't help it. All the words, the apologies, everything had gone out of her head at the sight of James' flexed arm muscles scrubbing the table, his messy hair flopping in his eyes. James seemed to notice Lily's inaction, for he stopped cleaning and turned around to look at her a bit grumpily.

"Are you going to help or not?" he asked irritably. Lily was too embarrassed to even think of a suitably cutting or witty retort, nor could she bring herself to even glare at him, so she just busied herself with her own sponge on a separate desk.

_That's odd,_ thought James, _why didn't she shout at me? Oh no, she's having another crazy mood swing. That's what got us into this mess in the first place. Should I say something? No. Definitely not. Remember what happened last time you asked her what was wrong? Yeah - didn't that turn out splendidly! Note the sarcasm!_

Lily, on the other hand, was mentally yelling at herself _say something, say something, say something!_

"Uh, James?"  
James started a little at the sound of her voice, but he decided to play it cool.

"Let's just get this done, okay Evans?" he said, his back still to her. Lily felt that uncontrollable anger swelling up inside her again. She had the time to think_ oh no, not this again,_ before launching her attack.

"You could at least look at me!" she said loudly, abandoning her cleaning efforts altogether.

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked, continuing with his work.

"I'm trying to talk to you, James!" she said. At the use of his first name, James turned to face her. This proved to be a mistake because he found it a great deal more difficult to remain coolly detached when he was looking into her emerald eyes. And he desperately wanted to appear coolly detached.

"Oh?" was all he said - attempting nonchalance.

Lily breathed in deeply, trying to temporarily let go of her over-whelming desire to hex James Potter.

"I wanted to apologise properly," she said through gritted teeth. James actually smirked - he could see that this was very difficult for her and appreciated the effort, but here before him stood the fiery red-head he had fallen in love with. Nothing would change that.

"Really?" he said, altering his tone slightly so that he was no longer nonchalant or derisive or cold. He was going for interested and approachable. Apparently he achieved his goal, as Lily sat down on the slimy desk and began to talk.

"I was really out of order the other day, and I don't really know what came over me," she began, her anger subsiding a little. James stood before her, crossing his arms and waiting for the rest of her apology.  
"And I'm really truly sorry I was such a bitch. And for calling you names and yelling at you this week and stuff," she said awkwardly. James uncrossed his arms and regarded her with a curious expression.

"But I still don't get what I did wrong. All I asked was if you were okay, and you bit my sodding head off," he said reasonably.

"I know, and I'm really sorry!" Lily exclaimed, with a touch of frustration in her voice.

"Just tell me why, Lily, and I'll forgive you," James said softly. Lily, realising that he was calling her by her first name again, knew that this was her one chance to make things right. And she honestly hated arguing with him now. She missed his company and his jokes and just _him_ in general. She heaved a sigh.

"You know how I was acting all funny that day?" she asked. James nodded.

"Well, it was because I had a dream," she began, looking away from him and twisting her hands nervously.

"A dream? It wasn't that nightmare again, was it? Coz you could've said and I would've dropped it," James replied.

"No, it wasn't the nightmare. But, see, the thing is, I just," she sighed again, "You were in it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"So you were angry at me because I was in your dream?" he asked, very confusedly.

"It's more what you were doing in the dream that freaking me out and made me angry at you," Lily admitted in a small voice, a blush creeping onto her cheeks. Realisation was dawning on James now and he couldn't help but smirk a tiny bit.

"And, err, what was I doing?" he prompted. Lily looked at him briefly, a pained expression on her face.

"You asked me out."

"I asked you out?"

"Yes."

"And what did you say?"

"James!"

"Well?"

"See, this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd get the wrong idea!" she cried angrily.

"I haven't got any idea, least of all why this 'freaked you out'. What's wrong with the idea of dating me in a dream anyway?" Lily just looked daggers at him.

"So, let me get this straight. You blew up at me at the Three Broomsticks because you had a dream in which I asked you out?" he said, eyebrows raised.

"Well, when you put it like that…" Lily mumbled in embarrassment. Then to her utter surprise, James let out a chuckle.

"What? What is so funny?" Lily said crossly, folding her arms. But James just continued to laugh.

"You were angry at me for something I did in your dream. Oh, that's just ridiculous," he said.

"Stop laughing!" Lily stamped her foot.

"Come on, Lils, it's pretty funny. I mean, if they gave out awards for overreactions, you'd win hands down." Lily had to concede that it was a fairly ridiculous reason for the way she acted; she maintained that she had been temporarily insane. But it didn't stop her from being annoyed at James. Here she was, trying her best to apologise for being nasty, and here he was laughing at her attempts. She wouldn't put up with it.

"Why did you reject my apology, then, if you find it so amusing?" she asked icily. James' chuckling ceased immediately and he fixed her with a very serious look.

"Because it wasn't genuine."

"Who are you to decide whether or not my apologies are genuine?" Lily demanded.

"I just thought I was being ripped off because you didn't actually tell me what I had done. And it all seemed to be caused by me asking you what was wrong. So I determined that that was what had made you cross. Which confused me because I thought our friendship was getting quite strong and the fact that you didn't trust me with what's bugging you really upset me."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It was coz I was embarrassed," Lily defended.

"Yeah, well I know that now," James replied.

"And also it can be a bit annoying with you always wanting to know if I'm okay," she added.

"When do I do that?"

"All the time, it feels like."

"Does it ever occur to you that maybe that's because I care about you?" he asked softly.

"Well, yes, I thought of that after our argument yesterday. Which is another reason I wanted to apologise," Lily said, looking at the floor.

James considered this.

He was sick of their fighting. And he did miss Lily's company. Her apology - though it personally made no sense to him why she had been angry in the first place - seemed from the heart and he wanted nothing more than to forgive her. So he did.

"I forgive you," he said directly. Lily looked up at him.

"Really?"

"Yep. And I'm sorry if I was a prat in not accepting your apology the first time. I might've been a bit rude."

"A bit?" she snorted.

"Let's face it, Lils, we were pretty much as bad as each other," James admitted.

"Yeah," she said with a small smile on her face, "Whatever will they do with us?"

"Put us in detention?" he grinned.

"Hey, that reminds me," she said. She chucked her sopping wet sponge at James, hitting him squarely in the chest.

"That is for getting me into my first ever detention!" she yelled at him, though her eyes were dancing with happiness. She was so relieved that they could go back to the way things were.

"You are so gonna pay for that, Evans," James said in a low voice, sponge in either hand, coming towards her like an animal stalking its' prey.

"Ahh!" Lily squealed, trying to get away from him, realising with horror that she'd handed him her only weapon. He pounced, throwing both sponges at her, effectively soaking her hair and top. He was a quidditch player, after all, he had to have good aim.

"Bullseye!" he called, "Serves you right for what you put me through."

"What I put you through?" she said with mock confusion as she slowly made her way over to the buckets (a small detail that James hadn't noticed), "Why, I have no idea what you're talking about." James just chuckled.

"Ah, Evans, you're one of a kind," he said with a lopsided grin. Lily's plans to douse James in soapy water went on hold for a moment as the stomach butterflies she'd grown to despise returned in full force.

"Same goes for you, Potter," she said with a smile. Then out of nowhere, it seemed James had gotten his hands on another sponge and was squeezing its' contents out over Lily's head. Like lightening, Lily bent down and picked up the bucket and tossed it all over James, grabbing a free sponge on the way and proceeding to rub it into his already messy, wet hair. They were both laughing and enjoying the carefree feeling that was due to the end of their argument that they didn't realise how close they were until James walked backwards into a desk and Lily bumped into his chest. He had just dropped his sponge and was in the process of surrendering while she held a sponge, pretty much devoid of any moisture, poised next to his shoulder.

The butterflies were now doing all sorts of acrobatics now that Lily was so close to James. _Stop it,_ she told them_, this sort of behaviour gets me into trouble._ James, on the other hand, was sure that Lily must be able to see his heart. It was practically beating out of his chest.  
Slowly, she lowered the sponge so that her arms were dangling at her sides. Their eyes were locked on one another's. Lily felt she really had to finish telling James the truth before she allowed herself to do anything she might regret.

"James?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked, watching her lips as she spoke.

"Do you want to know why it upset me that you were in my dream?" she asked breathlessly. James nodded sadly. This was going to be a mood killer, he just knew it.

"I was worried because I didn't know what it meant if I dreamt about you like that," she said softly, now looking at his lips, "But now I've worked it out. And it scares me to death." James took one of her hands in his and looked up into her eyes, which appeared to be swimming with tears. He didn't want her to cry. More than anything he just wanted her to be happy. So he nodded.

"What scares you to death?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

"James, I think I'm falling for you," she said. James was momentarily shocked into silence, but he recovered quickly.

"You're falling for me?" he echoed, with an amusingly stunned expression. Lily couldn't help but smile - he was just so adorable when he was confused.

"Yes, I, Lily Evans, am falling for you, James Potter," she said, looking into his eyes. A frown appeared on his brow.

"Why are you scared, then?"

"Probably because I've spent so long not liking you that when I realised how I felt, and how strongly, it just sort of took me by surprise," she explained, looking away when she said 'not liking' for it made her feel guilty.

"Okay," he said. Then there was a pause during which James absent-mindedly stroked Lily's palm with his thumb - an act that sent shivers down her spine.

"So basically the bottom line is you're falling for me?" he asked, searching her eyes for some sign that this was a big joke. He found none.

"Yes," she whispered, her heart going a million miles an hour. _Please still like me, please still like me!_ she though frantically. He reached out and gently removed some sopping wet strands of hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. He let his hand linger on her soft skin, resisting the urge to snog her senseless. He wanted to take things slowly so that he didn't mess this up. _You only get one shot with your dream girl - don't stuff it up,_ he thought. Apparently Lily had different ideas. She reached up and wound her fingers through his messy hair. James leant forwards and whispered in her ear.

"How strong are these feelings, anyway?" he asked in a deep, yet teasing voice. By means of response, Lily pulled back so that she could look him in the eyes. When their gazes connected she felt a very strong pull in her stomach (something akin to a portkey) and realised that there was no doubt in her mind about what she was to do next.  
She pressed her lips against his and he responded immediately. Both her hands were in his hair now as he deepened the kiss and cradled her back and head. Lily sucked gently on James' bottom lip and he let out a loan moan, drawing her body impossibly closer against his. Through their wet clothes they could feel each other's warmth and it was an entirely safe and reassuring feeling for them both, as neither could really believe this was happening. Not really in control of her body, Lily felt herself pressed against as much of James as possible, and marvelled at how well they fit together. Perfectly, in fact. After a good five minutes of intensive kissing, they broke apart breathing rather heavily. They immediately sought one another's eyes. Lily was not ashamed or embarrassed, nor did she feel the guilt that she thought she would after giving in to James' charms. James was still shell-shocked, but incredible happy with the way things had turned out. It seemed that treating Lily like a normal person had worked out after all.

They just stared at each other, not needing to speak. Then Lily looked around at the mess they had made.

"You know, we really should get on with this," she nodded at it. James loosened his grip around her waist slightly, but did not fully let her go.

"You know, Lils, it'll take a while for all this water to dry up, so I figure we should wait for that to happen and then get on with the cleaning," he plastered on his most angelic, innocent expression. Lily rolled her eyes, "You're just slack," she said. She turned back to survey the damage. "I think we could at least do tho-" but she stopped halfway through her sentence as James began to trail soft kisses along her jaw line. A risky move considering they had only just crossed that friends to more than friends line. Doubly risky considering Lily's head girl tendency to want to do the right thing. But apparently not today, for she just let out a soft "oh" and tilted her head a tiny bit, eventually turning to meet his lips in another soft kiss.

_Kissing James Potter is quite as satisfying as I thought it would be,_ she thought, _In fact, it's better._

_Kissing Lily Evans is the most surreal thing ever__, _thought James, _but I could go on like this forever; she's so perfect._

They continued to snog solidly for the next hour or so, until McGonagall entered the room unannounced. The two sprang apart immediately, but apparently not soon enough. Taking in their wet and rumpled clothing, the still messy classroom and the guilty expressions of the Head Boy and Girl, the professor worked out what had happened. Her lips formed that thin white line that they were wont to do when she was unimpressed.

"I don't want to know," she said sternly, "I would make you repeat this detention but as Heads I understand you have enough expected of you at the moment. But next time I hear you two yelling in the corridors it will be twenty points each." James and Lily shared a look with each other, before filing out of the door. McGonagall closed the door with a snap behind them. "And next time you two want to behave inappropriately, make sure you've at least locked the door," she said with a ghost of a smile, before marching off in the other direction.

James and Lily just looked incredulously at one another.

"I can't believe we just got away with that," James said, "In all my years, she's never let me off a detention." They started to head back to their common room.

"It's coz she knows I'll have a calming influence over you," Lily said imperiously. There was silence for a minute before the two cracked up laughing. Then, just to make sure that they were on the same page (because misunderstandings can lead to terrible things), Lily asked James a question.

"James, could you please ask me again?"

"Ask you what?" he replied, too busy enjoying the feeling of her hand in his to really consider the question.

"Ask me what you always do," Lily said. Then the penny dropped for James. He stopped walking, a grin spreading across his face.

"Lily?"

"Yes, James?"

"Do you want to go out with me sometime?"

"I'd love to."

* * *

AN - HOORAY! im so so sorry it took me that long to get there.

and no this isnt the end of the story, but its the end of the hard part so i look forward to writing some lovely fluff in the coming chapters. but thats not to say there wont be troubles for our favourite characters...

thanks for sticking with this story! there are so many people i'd like to thank for their reviews and advice and stuff but now its two minutes to 5 in the morning and i need sleep!! please review

and i hope the characters were in character enough and stuff - i think they were. lily is very emotional, i think, and felt guilty for being horrible, which is why she could finally admit her true feelings which was such a relief. so yes, that's that :) thanks! xo


	27. Couples, Mudbloods and Secret Letters

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing interesting

AN - I've redone a small section of this chapter so that Anna isn't ... well, you'll see. but it was too complicated, so i changed it. hope you don't mind!! also, the reason i haven't been updating as regularly as usual is because school is crazy town at the moment (two sacs this week and two more next week!) coz of the school musical next weekend. i've been flatchat choreographing for the thing and have consequently had very little time to study and even less time to update. so im really sorry! i hope you enjoy this chapter. it's mostly for plot-furthering purposes but it does have a tiny but of lj fluff at the start so enjoy :)

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Chapter 26 - Couples, Mudbloods and Secret Letters:

**Inside Lily's head:**

I think I'm falling for James Potter.

I know I'm falling for him.

I kissed him.

And it was perfect.

I wonder how Cat and Anna will react. Imagine, all three of us dating Marauders. It's insane!

**Inside James' head:**

Is it possible to die of happiness?

I kissed her.

It was perfect.

I can't wait until our date.

Can't wait to rub this is Sirius' sceptical face!

…

I hope my hand isn't sweaty.

* * *

Lily and James decided to visit their friends in the Gryffindor common room - clearly Lily had a bit of serious girl talk to attend to, and James really wanted to tell the marauders his unbelievably good news.

"I wonder what they'll say," Lily mused out loud as she and James walked hand in hand towards the portrait hole.

"I dunno. I mean, I always knew I'd get through to you eventually," James grinned as Lily tugged playfully on his hand in mock reproach.

"Don't push it, Potter, I could still change my mind," she warned. He stopped walking and looked at her, the corners of his mouth turning up in a know-it-all smirk.

"No you couldn't," he said huskily. There was short pause during which they both just stared at each other, knowing that it wasn't weird or creepy to be doing so.

"How is it you can possibly know me so well?" she asked softly, continuing to walk.

"Seven years of close observation," James replied, before realising that it made him sound like a stalker. Lily just raised her eyebrows at him before giggling charmingly. He relaxed a little and his blush subsided. He had only just convinced Lily to go out with him (well, technically she had made him ask her) and he didn't want to frighten her off, upset her or, in fact, do anything that might endanger their new relationship.

"Moving on," Lily said, "Do you reckon everyone else saw it before we did?"

"Before you did," he corrected.

"Okay, before I did," Lily amended.

"Probably. They'll be surprised, though. I think Remus and Sirius had a bet going-"

"A bet?!"

"Whoops, sorry," he said, sheepishly, "If it helps, I told them not to because I just wanted to be your friend."

"You wanted to be my friend?" Lily questioned again, genuinely curious as to what was going on in James' befuddled mind.

"Yeah. I like spending time with you, Lils. This year was my last chance to get in your good books and I would prefer to be your friend now and more than friends later, than try to pursue you now and have you not wanting anything to do with me later. It was a bit of a risk, but it paid off."

"Okay… I think I get what your saying," Lily said slowly, tightening her grip on his hand slightly. James felt shivers up and down his spine at the pressure. "But just to clarify, I _want_ to be more than friends with you. I _enjoy_ it when you pursue me. And I am _falling for you_. So just don't worry, okay?"

James just grinned and pressed his lips against hers in a brief kiss of utter happiness. She smiled into his lips before pulling away and keeping on walking.

"Lily?"

"Mmm?"

"I know my previous actions would suggest otherwise, and please, please don't take this the wrong way, but… is it okay if we, I don't know. Like, if we take things slow?"

"Err, why?"

"Well," James started, a very un-manly blush creeping up his cheeks, "You're special. And I, err, I don't want to, you know, rush things and ruin it. And, well, I don't know. Isn't it more… romantic this way or something?"

Lily just grinned at him and nodded, unable to recall a time when she was happier than this.

All too soon, they had arrived at the portrait hole. After James uttered the password (eggnog) to the Fat Lady, who was looking rather confused at the state of Lily and James' wet robes, not to mention their linked hands (portraits gossip too, after all), the pair entered the common room and went up their separate staircases to find their respective friends.

* * *

**Seventh Year Girls' Dormitory:**

"Oh my gosh, Lily, what happened to you?" Cat exclaimed as soon as Lily entered the room, taking in her sopping clothes and strange expression. But Lily didn't respond. She gave a non-committal half shrug, the silly smile that she couldn't seem to abandon lighting up her whole face.

"What has that Potter done now? Confunded her, do you reckon?" came another voice. Lily looked to the other bed to see Anna sitting there, legs outstretched casually, but looking quite concerned.

"Anna got back early," Cat explained, "So what did he do to you anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, mentally shaking herself a bit.

"What in the hell did that boy do to you? You're dripping wet, your clothes are all messy and your face has gone all distant and dreamy," Cat summarised.

"That was very observant, Cat, well done," Lily said happily, flopping down on her old bed and staring at the canopy above her.

_Should I tell them?_ she pondered. _I don't want to ruin a good thing before it's even begun by jinxing it. On the other hand, I really want to tell them, no matter how many 'I told you so's' I get. _

"Seriously, Lils, what's up with you?" Anna asked, traces of concern in her voice.

"Nothing's up," she replied, surprised at how soft and dreamy her voice actually sounded.

"Don't insult our intelligence. How come you're all wet?"

"Oh, James and I got into a sort of water fight," Lily said innocently.

"Who won?" Anna asked, but Cat cut off Lily's answer.

"James? Since when are you calling him that? You two have been at each others' throats all week," Cat said with raised eyebrow. At this point, Lily started to giggle softly. Her friends exchanged worried glances.

"Err, Lily?" Anna ventured, but the red-head just continued to laugh harder, so much so that her shoulders were shaking and tears were leaking out the corner of her eyes.

"Oh, Merlin, I think he's put a cheering charm on her," Cat said worriedly to Anna, whose eyebrows rose in concern. Lily snorted delicately.

"He didn't put a cheering charm on me," she said, sitting up suddenly and wiping at her eyes, "And he didn't confund me either."

"Then what has gotten into you?"

"I'm just really happy," Lily said, getting up off her old bed and smoothing out her robes.

"Yes, but _why_? You were just in _detention_, with _Potter_!" Anna said. At the mention of James' name, Lily broke out into a grin again.

"He asked me out," she said quietly, looking at the floor.

"He what?"

"Finally!"

"You said yes?"

"Oh my god, she said yes!"

"They're in love!"

"They're going to get married and have babies!"

"At last!!"

Then there was a lot of high-pitched squealing and what would appear to be a rather affectionate group hug-turned stacks on Lily. Lily had no idea how her friends were not shocked that she and her sworn enemy of the past week were now happily a couple, but she could only guess it had something to do with the stupid expression she had on her face that she simply couldn't get rid of.

**

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In the Marauder's Dormitory:

"Hey Prongs."

"Heya Padfoot."

"Why are you all wet?"

"Never you worry your pretty little head, Moony my friend."

"Why is he speaking all funny?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Pete," Sirius replied, walking over to James and slapping him on the face.

"OUCH! What was that for?!" James cried, rubbing his cheek tenderly.

"You looked all funny. I thought I'd snap you out of it," Sirius replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I'm not acting funny at all," James replied, walking over to his former bed and grabbing some of his stuff that he had brought with him for the duration of his and Lily's argument, a grin lifting up the corners of his mouth.

"Are you going back?" Peter asked.

"Yep," James said, failing in his attempt to conceal his grin.

"No, really Prongs. What's up with you?"

"Nothing," he responded cryptically, "It's just Lily and I aren't fighting anymore which makes life so much simpler."

Remus raised an eyebrow, "I don't believe you." James just grinned even wider, continuing to bundle up his stuff, and diligently avoiding eye contact with anyone, wondering if they'd be able to work it out on their own. Apparently Remus was ahead of the pack.

"You know how at the start of the year you said you just wanted to be friends with Lily?" Remus asked carefully.

"Yep, and it was weird!" Sirius replied for James, "Prongs is, like, in love with that girl… oh!"

His eyes widened, and Remus grinned, guessing that he was onto something. Peter just continued to look confused.

"What? I don't get it - what's that got to do with tonight?"

"Oh, Merlin's left sock!" Sirius yelled, "You and Evans are together!". James' happy blush told them all they needed to know.

"Congratulations," Remus said happily, "I knew it'd happen eventually."

"Mate, that's excellent!" Sirius said genuinely, walking over to James and clapping him on the back, "Only…"

"Only, what?" James asked, brow furrowed.

"Only, couldn't you have waited until next year?"

"Why on earth would I want to wait that long, Pads?"

"Firstly, the new year is in a couple of days - it's not that long to wait; and secondly, you've just cost me five galleons," he pouted.

James chuckled. "Serves you right for betting on my love life," he reprimanded, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to be returning to my own common room with my new girlfriend. Yep, my new girlfriend, Lily Evans," he said proudly. He turned, wrenched open the door and veritably skipped down the stairs.

"What, he and Lily are together?" Peter squeaked, "Why? I thought they were fighting." Remus sighed in exasperation and turned to find his Arithmancy text book. Sirius turned to Peter, "Don't worry Wormtail. Suffice it to say that James is happy with his Lily-flower and that's all we need to know."

* * *

Lily walked and/or skipped down the stairs to find James in the common room, waiting for her at the portrait hole. She grinned at him, and he grinned back, simply enjoying the fact that he was able to stare and stare at her now. Lily blushed slightly under his appraising gaze, resorting to looking at the floor so that the butterflies in her stomach would stop with the acrobatics.

"We should get back to our rooms, it's nearly past curfew," she said in a surprisingly normal voice. He stepped back to let her through the portrait hole and she smiled at this gentlemanly behaviour. _Who would've thought - James Potter's gone soft!_

"Hey, Lils, don't we have to do rounds tonight?" he asked as he followed her through.

"Oh yeah," Lily blushed, "I completely forgot!"

"Yeah, well detention will do that to you," he grinned, "But it's the Christmas holidays anyway. Do you really think anyone will care if we just, you know, skip it?"

Lily hit him gently on the arm.

"I've already served one detention because of you, I won't do it again," she joked. James clutched dramatically at his heart in mock affront. Lily just laughed. James loved the sound of her laugh - it was contagious - and it was even better now that she was laughing with him.

"How about we just take the long route back to our common room? Then we can get it out of the way quickly," Lily suggested. James grinned mischievously.

"Just think, me and Evans wandering the castle together at night," he said.

"It's not like we haven't done it before," Lily pointed out, clearly missing James' point.

"Yeah, but that was _before_."

"Oh," she said in realisation, "Yeah, but what's the difference?"

"Ah, Evans, you wound me! You know what I meant," he winked suggestively.

"You, James Potter, are incorrigible!"

"It's part of my charm," he joked as they turned a corner into a long corridor.

"What happened to taking it slow?" Lily asked with raised eyebrow.

"Oh, good point," he said, keeping his gaze straight ahead as he slipped his hand into hers.

"Mhmm," was all Lily could manage as James began to trace small circles on her palm with his thumb.

"Taking it slowly is probably for the best," he said as he pulled her gently towards him as they continued to walk.

"Uh, uh-huh," she said, all coherent thoughts left behind. Lily stopped walking suddenly, and pulled James around to face her. He couldn't help but look shocked - he hadn't expected Lily to give in to his teasing - after all, he really _did_ want to take things slowly. _Ah, but who am I to argue with the Head Girl?_ he thought.

"So, about this taking it slow thing," she began, frowning slightly, "Does that mean I can't do this?". She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the cheek. James' skin burned at the contact.

"No, I, err, I think that should be fine," he said in his customary high-pitched Lily-is-being-flirtatious voice. Lily just smiled, and kept walking holding onto James' hand.

As they continued to walk, checking out all the usual haunts of curfew-breakers (namely all the good spots for secret snogging), friendly banter began between the pair and both felt reassured by this normality. It was as though they had returned to their previous friendship but with the obvious benefit of being able to kiss one another (not that they took advantage of this privilege). Lily was just laughing at a particularly entertaining anecdote that James had just recounted, involving Sirius, maple syrup and a niffler, when several unwelcome faces stepped out from behind a suit of armour. James recognised, with a sudden jolt in the stomach, that one of them was Sirius' younger brother and whipped out his wand as a reflex.

"Well, well, what have we here?" sneered Tobias Avery, a Slytherin sixth year.

"Why it seems we have stumbled upon our most impressive Head Boy and Girl," Flint replied in a bored voice.

"A mudblood dating a pureblood, what will they think of next?" drawled Edmond Triscombe, a seventh year like Flint, but with a great deal more intelligence. He came from money, and it was evident just in the way that he held himself that financial as well as family background determined whether people were good enough or not to be in his presence.

"Don't you dare call her that!" James said furiously, "Take it back!"

"James," Lily placed a pacifying hand on her boyfriends' outstretched arm, "They aren't worth it."

"Ooh, going to take orders from a girl," sniggered Avery, "And there I was thinking you were a natural born leader."

"Really, Avery, if that's the best insult you can come up with I really think you're loosing your touch," Lily said coolly.

"Who asked you?" Mulciber, the fifth and final Slytherin, spoke up.

"No one has to ask me as I'm Head Girl. As such, you will all have detention tomorrow night with Filch for breaking your curfew."

"Now get back to your slimy common room," James added, glaring at them all.

"Like we'd want to hang around out here any longer," Regulus Black said haughtily.

"You don't know what it's doing to Sirius, seeing you like this," James said in a low and dangerous voice, "It's killing him."

"What would you know, Potter? Oh, that's right, you're his brother now. He doesn't need me. I'm just a spare part. I always was," Regulus said vehemently, while his colleagues walked away uncaring. Triscome seemed to linger a little longer, waiting for his friend.

"How can you say that? He still loves you - he just wants for you to be safe," James said beseechingly.

"As if Black cares about Regulus - he practically left him to rot when he joined your lot," Triscome said rudely.

"You don't know what you're talking about," James said calmly, turning back to Regulus who was now looking impatient. Lily looked on anxiously, caught between her desire to support her boyfriend, stop him from doing something incredibly stupid and curse all the Slytherins into tiny little pieces. James continued, "You don't have to listen and you don't have to care, but just know that you acting like you are now - hanging out with the wrong people - it's ruining him. He cares about you and doesn't want you mixed up with this you-know-who character."

"What if it's too late?" interjected Triscombe again - Regulus looked grateful for the change of focus. Lily, sensing James' aggravation, moved to stop any potential violence.

"Okay, enough's enough. Back to your common room," she ordered.

"I'm not taking orders from a filthy mudblood like yourself, I don't care if you are Head Gi-" but his sentence was cut short as James lunged onto him, trying to punch every inch of his body. He seemed to have quite forgotten his wand in the heat of the moment.

"How dare- you call- her that- you- take- it- back- you- ab-so-lute- ass-hole!" he punctuated every few words with a heavy punch. Lily, touched though she was at James' outrage on her behalf, had long gotten over being called a mudblood and was now doing her best to verbally restrain James.

"James, stop it! Stop it, you'll hurt him!"

"He deserves it, Lily," James looked up from his assault to plead with his girlfriend. Unfortunately this moment of hesitation cost him a blow to the eye. He recoiled and rolled off of Triscombe with a loud expletive.

"James!" Lily cried, kneeling beside him. Regulus didn't seem to know what to do, hovering awkwardly halfway between the scuffle and the retreating gang of Slytherins, who hadn't even batted an eye at the commotion. "That's it, fifty points from Slytherin and a week of detention for you, you jerk!" she yelled at the elegant and composed Triscombe, who was simply dusting off his robes as though he couldn't care less about what she had just said.

"Did you hear me?" she demanded, leaving James for a moment on the floor and drawing herself up to her full height. James looked up at Lily, knowing the signs that a temper tantrum was on its way. He gingerly stood up, slightly behind her like a body guard. Triscombe just rolled his cold blue eyes at her.

"Of course I heard you, I just don't care about anything you have to say to me."

"Of course you wouldn't. From what I've heard, you're just a pretty little mummy's boy, who cries to daddy whenever something goes wrong and he throws money at it and all your problems are solved," Lily said acidly, "Not to mention you bought your way onto the Slytherin Quidditch team."

"You don't think too highly of me, do you Evans?" he asked, examining her as if she was something unpleasant crushed into the grooves of his shoe.

"Why would I? You're an arrogant, bullying, evil little boy with nothing better to do than skulk about the castle and mindlessly insult those who you don't consider worthy of your time."

"You friend Anna doesn't think so," he said silkily.

"What?" Lily replied, completely taken aback. James, too, was surprised by this statement, but didn't let it show on his face, instead placing a hand on Lily's back as a show of support.

"Why don't you just get back to your common room, Triscombe?" he suggested menacingly, but Lily continued to badger the Slytherin.

"What do you mean, Anna doesn't think so? You don't know her," Lily said firmly.

"Oh, I'd say I know her a good deal better than you do," the boy continued, an unattractive smirk on his face, "Or didn't she tell you about us?"

"You're lying," Lily said, refusing to believe that one of her best friends would spend time with such an awful boy.

"So she didn't tell you? Interesting. Well, I suppose I wouldn't want to tell my best friend about all my sexual triumphs, especially if I was already known as the school slut." At those harsh words Lily lost it, completely forgetting her position of responsibility or any rational thought for that matter. She drew back her arm and landed a punch soundly in the middle of Triscombe's face. With a resounding crack, she heard and felt his nose break.

"LILY!" James exclaimed, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back, but she continued to struggle.

"How dare you say those filthy lies, you absolute scum! I'm docking fifty more points from your stupid house, how do you like that? I hope you rot in detention for the rest of your days, and don't even think that you'll be seeing a Quidditch pitch again this century!" she ranted, her threats, hollow as they may be, echoing off the cold stone walls. Again, Triscombe collected himself in that strangely detached, emotionless manner, although Lily was certain she could see a glint of triumph in his eyes.

"_Episkey_," he muttered, repairing his nose before sweeping off down the corridor. Lily stood there, shaking with rage that someone - nearly a complete stranger - could insult her friend so callously, and consequently leave her so distraught. Before he vanished around the corner, Triscombe turned to Lily one last time.

"One last thing, Evans. If you refuse to believe it's true, then why would you be so mad?" he smirked at Lily's non-response. "I thought so. Anna's keeping secrets from you. I thought little Gryffindors were better than that." And then he was gone, leaving James to pick up the pieces of an emotional and angry Lily.

"How-how could he? I mean, who the bloody hell does he think he is!?" Lily exclaimed to James, who rubbed her soothingly on the back while she continued to rant about inconsiderate Slytherin scum. Meanwhile, James was actually considering Triscombe's words. He didn't want to believe that Anna would be so foolish as to get together with that jerk - let alone in secret - but there were moments when he had wondered where she had been. Like that time after the Slytherin-Gryffindor Quidditch match when she had rushed off, and the time later when she had refused to tell Lily where she had been (revealed during a game of truth or dare). James really was more observant than anyone cared to acknowledge - all these little things he had noted in less interesting entries in his occlumency diary (which was occasionally known as the diary of stalking Lily Evans and her friends in a great amount of detail). But James did not bring this up. Not now, when Lily was in such a vulnerable yet agitated position.

"But I was right, wasn't I? He deserved a broken nose?" she asked imploringly, begging James to justify her actions.

"Of course you were, Lily," James reassured her as he pushed open their portrait hole, "he was in the wrong, you were just teaching him a lesson."

"I don't suppose I should have punched him, though," she said sighing as she flopped onto the couch.

"Scoot over," James commanded, plopping down next to her, and wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You did nothing wrong. In fact, I'm proud of you, Lily Evans," he said genuinely, regarding her with admiring eyes. She raised her eyebrows.

"Proud that I resorted to violence because some boy was telling lies about my best friend. I would hardly think that's something to be proud of," she said bitterly, more disappointed in herself than anything else.

"Proud that you feel a sense of loyalty strong enough to make you go against your very nature to defend your friend," he replied. Lily looked up into his eyes, her own swimming with tears.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

_Why am I falling to pieces? And in front of James! Do you want him to think you're a nut-case? _she thought frantically, yet she couldn't stop the tears from falling. _I just can't believe those horrible things he said about Anna._

"Shhh," James said, rubbing her shoulder softly, "It's okay. I'm here." From anyone else, that may've sounded redundant, but from James it was nothing but sincere and comforting. The couple stayed like that in front of the fire for a while, until Lily fell asleep on James. As much as he didn't want to disturb his girlfriend, James knew he had a stack load of homework to complete before the end of the Christmas break and would need a good nights rest before tackling it the following day. With this in mind, he gently scooped Lily up - hoping against hope that he wouldn't wake her - and bore her up the stairs to her bed. He had considered placing her in his own bed, but figured that might be a bit presumptuous, so tucked her in between her sheets and made sure that she was comfortable. He stood back to admire her sleeping form (can anyone say stalker?), smiling slightly at how the moonlight was reflecting delicately onto her hair and face, giving her an ethereal, other-worldly look.

"James,"" she murmured in her sleep. James smiled, "Goodnight, Lily," he kissed her softly on the cheek and then he was gone.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cat and Anna were still up, talking into the wee hours of the morning.

"And then, when we were on the way to the library, Lily started yelling at him because he was in the same corridor as her. It was insane!" Cat exclaimed, regaling Anna with the stories of Lily and James' fighting.

"It's so good that they're together now, though," Anna said, "It took them bloody long enough."

"Yeah, I know. It was so obvious," Cat agreed.

"It's kinda funny how we're all dating marauders now," Anna pointed out, "This time last year they were like our sworn enemies."

"Oh, I dunno, I've always been friends with James and tolerated Sirius coz they were on the Quidditch team. And Remus was never that bad, just quiet," Cat said reasonably.

"Yeah," the blonde replied with a sigh. Cat noticed her friend's sudden change in attitude, wondering what could've caused her apparent sadness.

"What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing," Anna replied quickly, looking like an animal caught in headlights.

"You looked all sad when I mentioned Remus - what's going on?" Cat demanded, refusing to back down.

"You are really observant tonight, Lily was right."

"So what's wrong."

"It doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do about it anyway," Anna replied sadly.

"Let me decide that when I hear what it is he's done," Cat retorted.

"It's nothing _he's _done, it's me!" she cried, then put her hands over her mouth as if she'd said too much already.

"What's wrong?" Cat asked in a softer tone - it was clear that her friend was distressed.

"Remus is going to break up with me," Anna said tonelessly, staring at her bedspread while tears leaked out of her eyes.

"He wouldn't do that - he's the gentleman of the group. Oh, and another thing, _why_ would he break up with you? You're beautiful and smart and funny, and he's clearly head over heels for you!"

"But when I tell him, what I-I did, he-he won't like me anymore," she sobbed. Cat moved and sat next to her friend, wrapping her arm around the poor girls shoulders and giving her squeeze. She wished Lily was with them - she had always been good at getting people to talk about their feelings.

"What did you do?" Cat whispered, "I promise, I won't judge you or anything. Just tell me."

"I can't!" Anna cried, clearly distressed.

"If you don't tell me, I can't help you," Cat pointed out. Anna nodded sadly, "Which is why Remus is going to dump me when he finds out what I've been hiding from him."

"Which is what exactly?" Cat asked, her patience wearing a little thin. Anna looked up at her with doleful eyes.

"I slept with a Slytherin," she whispered.

"WHAT?!"

"You said you wouldn't judge me!"

"A Slytherin? What were you thinking? Wait, when? Did you cheat on Remus?" Cat rambled, horrified.

"NO! No, I would never cheat on Remus. Never! How can you think that?"

"I don't know, how could you sleep with a Slytherin?" Cat retorted. Anna just stared once again at her bedspread, speaking softly.

"It was after exams last year, and I ran into him in an empty corridor. I didn't want to look scared, you know, coz he's a Slytherin, so I acted all confident and stuff-"

"Like you usually do around guys," Cat asserted. Anna glared and continued.

"So I was being confident and stuff, and suddenly the next thing I know is I'm up against a wall and he's kissing me." Cat held up a hand.

"Okay, I can accept that you fraternised with the enemy, but I do NOT need to know all the gory details!"

"Like I'd tell you anyway," Anna retorted.

"Okay, sorry. So, what's the problem? Don't take this the wrong way, Anna banana, but you're not exactly the most… conservative girl in the school. What makes you think Remus will care?"

"Well, firstly, the fact that it was a _Slytherin_ might be a bit of a problem," Anna said emphatically, "And secondly, that's not all."

"That's not all? You mean..?"

"It became a kind of… relationship..?" Anna said hesitantly.

"But, you didn't have a boyfriend last year."

"We kept it a secret. I knew you guys would flip out if you found out I was with that guy."

"Which one is he?"

"Edmond Triscombe."

"That purist freak? Anna," Cat said disappointedly.

"I know, I know!" Anna cried, tears falling once more, "It was stupid and meaningless and awful. I knew it was wrong!"

"Damn right it's wrong - that guy hates you-know-whats," she whispered, referring to 'Mudbloods', "Imagine if Lily found out!"

"She'd hate me."

"No, I don't think she'd hate you, but I think she'd struggle to see what could've possessed you to do such a stupid thing. Speaking of which, Anna, why did you do such a stupid thing?"

"I don't know," she replied truthfully, "It just felt right at the time. But later on, just before we got on the Hogwarts Express to go home, I broke things off with him."

"I bet he didn't like that," Cat snorted - Edmond had a reputation for being not only chauvinistic but extremely prejudiced against 'half-breeds' and prone to vindictive bouts of violence.

"Nah, he was well pissed. I think it was mostly coz I dumped him. I'm sure he would've dumped me, given the chance, coz we were keeping it a secret - it wasn't anything special."

"What did he do?" Cat asked apprehensively.

"He wrote a letter to my family. A really, really rude and angry sort of a letter. He basically told them that I was a s-l-u-t and a tease and that my reputation around Hogwarts is mud."

"But that's completely untrue!" Cat began, outraged, "How dare he-"

"I know, I know. But the problem is, my family care so much about reputation that they were inclined to believe what he was saying. Coz, really, why would he lie about dating me? And, of course, they went spare over the whole thing, saying I had brought shame on the family and whatnot."

"So, is that what's made you so upset?"

"No, it's worse. Triscombe is threatening to tell Remus about us. Then when Remus finds out he will either dump me or try to comfort me. If he tries to comfort me, I will feel guilty and have to tell him that part of what Triscombe says is true. I have been a bit… loose. But Remus will be disappointed, I just know it. So either way I lose Remus. And I really think I've fallen for him," she turned her large, anxious eyes to Cat, "I think I'm in love with him."

"Whoa," Cat said softly - it was a lot of information to take in. After a moment of silence, during which Anna wept and Cat rubbed her back, Anna managed to compose herself to finish her story.

"I rushed off after the Quidditch match that day to meet with him - he threatened to tell Remus. He had just sent me this letter," she pulled out a scrunched up letter out of her pocket.

_Anna,_

_So you__'__re so ashamed of us that you didn__'__t tell your friends? Well, fair enough, I wouldn__'__t dare tell my friends that I was with the school bike. What do I want from you? Nothing. I__'__m satisfied knowing that your family finally know the truth about you and your abhorrent flirtations. But I think that the honesty should not be extended just to your family. I think the next step is to tell your boyfriend. Remember that precious prefect boyfriend of yours? Does he know? I doubt it. Tsk, tsk, Anna, such bad manners. You shouldn__'__t hide things like this from your boyfriend. Maybe I__'__ll help him to work it out. In fact, I may as well just tell him after the Quidditch match tomorrow. Is he a fan? Will he still care about you after he hears about us and what a good time we had in that deserted corridor, or that classroom, or the Quidditch change rooms? I think you get the idea. _

_I don__'__t think much of your taste, by the way, tatty robes and a goody-goody attitude. Not to mention his poor choice of company in Black and Potter. Really, Anna, your standards are slipping. _

_In any case, I don__'__t care that you told no-one, because I__'__ve decided that it would be more fun to break the news myself. Have a nice afternoon,_

_Edmond xx_

"That inconsiderate, appalling, detestable excuse for a boy!" Cat exclaimed angrily, but Anna carried on uninterrupted.

"That sounds like a plan, I suppose," Cat said slowly. There was another moment of silence. "So why didn't you tell me sooner? I mean, I can almost understand why you didn't tell Lils, but me?"

"I didn't want anyone to know about Edmond, and I was afraid that you would, you know, think that I sort of deserve this coz I was never exactly…fond of lasting relationships."

"Oh, Anna, you great buffoon," Cat said sympathetically, "Of course you don't deserve this. No one does… except maybe that Triscombe bloke - I wish there was some way we could pay him back." This earned her a weak but appreciative smile from Anna. "But seriously, now that I know, we'll be able to sort this out. We can make it right."

"I spose you want me to tell Lily, then?"

"I can't make you do anything, but I don't like the thought of keeping things from her. And I think Remus needs to know."

"No! I can't tell him. He'll hate me."

"I don't think he'll hate you, but he might need some space. Either way, he needs to know." Anna sighed in what Cat understood to be reluctant acceptance.

"I think we should probably get some sleep," Cat added, "Blimey, it's nearly two am!"

"Night, Cat. Thanks for not hating me."

"I'll never hate you, stupid, now go to sleep." Both girls drifted off into relatively peaceful sleep. Anna was relieved to have finally told someone her terrible secret - hopefully Cat would be able to help. Cat was glad that she knew where her friend had been disappearing to every so often (to argue with a Slytherin, undoubtedly) and was comforted by the fact that she had such a strong and reliable partner in Sirius. Although she was still in mourning over her father's death, she was glad to know that she had Sirius for support. He would always be there for her.

* * *

Back in the Marauders' dormitory, Remus was explaining to Sirius his dilemma.

"And Peter was absolutely no help - he just said that I wasn't a horrible monster."

"Which you're not," Sirius contributed.

"Yeah, well, that's debatable. But the point is, should I tell her or not?" Remus asked in distress.

"You know, Moony, it's a _big_ secret to tell," Sirius said carefully, "If you don't mind me pointing this out, it has only been, what, a week or two since you started dating her."

"Yeah, so?"

"So don't you think it's early days yet to be considering telling her about your lycanthropy?" Sirius asked. Remus noted the seriousness that Sirius was bringing to the conversation in using the proper term for his condition - usually referred to as a 'furry little secret'.

"I suppose it is a bit soon…" Remus said, sounding unconvinced.

"Yeah, you're right. It's too soon," Sirius said, as though waiting to tell Anna had been all Remus' idea.

"But, I don't know, I just, I feel…"

"Moony, I'm your mate, we don't really discuss feelings," Sirius said the word with wrinkled nose. But then, taking in the thoroughly depressed state Remus was in (namely his hunched shoulders, sad eyes, messy hair), Sirius tried for a but of empathy.

"Listen, Remus, I understand. I mean I can see how your guilt is eating away at you, but you have to get it through your thick skull that you have nothing to feel guilty about. You can't risk compromising your secret with a new relationship, no matter how strongly you may feel for the girl. So just take your time, and when the moment comes, if the moment comes, you will know and you will tell her. And she'll be fine with it, because she's hot for you. And, hey, if she's not fine with it, then she's not worth your time." Remus smiled weakly at his friend.

"You know, Padfoot, you give much better advice than Wormtail."

"Of course I do, as I am Sirius Black, ladies man extraordinaire," Sirius declared proudly. Remus laughed and chucked a pillow at him.

"Shut it, you egocentric git!"

"Hey, I just solved all your problems and you threw a pillow at me - what's up with that?" Sirius grinned, chucking two pillows at Remus.

"Oi!"

This escalated into a full-blown war of the pillows, which continued for about five minutes at which point both Sirius and Remus simultaneously realised that they were squealing like girls at a sleepover. They both coughed, dropping their pillows, and returned to their own beds making various 'manly' grunts.

"We speak of this to no-one," Sirius said shortly.

"Agreed," Remus said, red-faced.

"Umm, goodnight?"

"Yeah, night Padfoot."

"Hold on a minute - where's Wormtail?"

"Good point - it's nearly midnight. And James has the map."

"Oh, I spose he'll turn up. Eventually."

"Whatever, let's go to sleep. I have a date tomorrow."

"Ditto," Sirius grinned, "Who would've thought, mister Moony and mister Padfoot - whipped."

"We're not whipped," Remus said indignantly from his bed.

"Speak for yourself," Sirius muttered, grinning when he thought about how tightly he was wrapped around Cat's little finger.

"Night, again."

"Night, Moony."

* * *

AN - Okay, so i hope that was okay. sorry if anna's thing seems a bit far-fetched. i can't remember why she does it... maybe a family tragedy pushed her to the edge or something. either way, she recognises it was a stupid thing to do and is now trying to undo it, so she's a good girl at heart. i hope that this wasn't too long and boring, but i feel that a story about lily and james' final year at hogwarts needed a bit of non-lj stuff, coz it can't always be about them lol

thanks to those of you who have been reviewing - i love you all and extend to you an offer of cyber cookies, enjoy. :)

the next chapter will be about revenge, most likely. and coming soon... (maybe new years eve, but im not sure), lily's birthday, petunia's wedding and (hopefully) some sirius cat stuff to balance it all out. is anyone wondering about peter and agatha? im not, but if you think peter needs a gf, let me know. thanks again :)


	28. Childhood Memories & Vanishing Cupboards

**Disclaimer:** Nope, (checks pockets) still nothing.

AN - Okay, I should have been studying but i wrote this instead such is my dedication to this story (snorts in disbelief) okay, so i was procrastinating - shoot me lol  
I hope you like this chapter - there's a big heap of lj fluff (hooray!) along with a solution to anna's problem (there's a subtle hint in the chapter title)  
So enjoy - and please review if you have the time :)

* * *

**Chapter 27 - Childhood Memories and Vanishing Cupboards**

It was the last day of the Christmas break at Hogwarts and Lily and James had both woken rather early (each too anxious and excited to sleep) and had proceeded to their common room, neither one of them expecting to find the other there.

"Oh!" Lily said, eyes wide, when she stumbled into the room in her wrinkled pyjamas and messy bed hair.

"Huh?" James exclaimed, whipping around so quickly that he fell ungracefully of the couch - how un-James!

"Sorry," Lily squeaked, turning to make a hasty exit back up the stairs, "I'll just get dressed."

"No, it's okay," James managed, sounding like his normal self, "Let's have breakfast in our jimjams."

"Okay, you just called them jimjams?" Lily said with a smirk.

"Yep, coz that's what they are," James pointed out. Lily rolled her eyes, to which James responded, "Ah, my Lily-flower, you have yet to learn that you have to grow old but you never have to grow up."

"Your personal motto, I take it?" she enquired shrewdly. He merely grinned at her and patted the couch next to him. Lily walked over and sat next to him, slowly and gently lowering her head onto his shoulder - she was suddenly extremely nervous about being this close to James. Now that she had finally given in to what her heart had been telling her (or, more specifically, those voices in her head) she was really worried that she was going to stuff things up.

James could feel Lily's tense and rigid form through her thin night clothes (flannel pants and a floppy tee-shirt, to be precise) and he decided to help her relax by engaging in some light, not-quite-properly-awake-yet conversation.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Okay," Lily lied. She had been up quite late, puzzling over what that horrid Slytherin boy had said to she and James the previous night.

"Really? That's good. I couldn't get to sleep last night," James said, emphasising his point with a loud yawn.

"How come?" Lily asked, swivelling so that see could see his hazel eyes out the corner of her own sleepy ones.

"I kept thinking of ways to punish that git, Triscombe, for what he said about Anna," James replied. In all honesty, he had spent only half an hour thinking of ways to get him back, but in James time that was a lot of sleep wasted.

"Seriously? Coz I was doing the same," Lily breathed a sigh of relief, and James could feel the tension leaving her shoulders.

"Come up with anything good?" James grinned.

"Oh, ha-ha. You know we can't actually do anything, right? Head students?" she reminded.

"You spoil all the fun," James joked, getting up and extending a hand so that Lily could follow, "C'mon, let's go have breakfast."

"Can't we stay here?" Lily whined, pouting adorably. James couldn't help but smile - Lily was beautiful even in her jimjams.

"Ok, but let's at least eat on the balcony. I bet you anything Ellie's left us some food out there."

"Why?"

"Coz she's that sort of an elf," he replied with a shrug of the shoulders. Sure enough, as Lily stepped out onto the joint balcony they shared, she spied a small glass table, atop which sat two plates of steaming bacon and eggs, with a side of toast and a bowl of fruit salad in the middle. Pumpkin juice stood in a silver pitcher next to two matching goblets and two very comfy looking chairs were drawn facing each other with a view of the grounds as well.

"See? Told you she was good," James grinned, pulling out a chair for Lily who, grateful though she was, felt the winter air nipping at her exposed flesh and shivered involuntarily.

"Are you cold?" Without waiting for a response, James conjured a big, fluffy blanket and magically placed it on Lily's barely-covered shoulders.

"Thanks," she said with a smile. She was genuinely blown away by his thoughtfulness. He had probably arranged this with Ellie the night before. And for no reason other than to spend more one-on-one time with Lily. She sighed happily, before tucking into her eggs with gusto to match James'.

There was minimal conversation, each lost in their own thoughts.

**Inside James' Head:**

I have to be the luckiest guy in the world. Just look at her. She is beautiful.

Snap out of it. Potter, stop acting like such a sap. It's a good thing Sirius isn't a legilimens or you'd be in for it. You're only having breakfast with your girlfriend - no need to get so worked up.

She's my girlfriend. I'm so lucky.

(Sighs in exasperation)

Oh shut it. This is great - just enjoy the moment.

Oh, look, Lily's talking to me. I really should listen to what she's saying but those lips are just so damn distracting…

**Inside Lily's Head:**

Mmm, tasty bacon.

Merlin, James is so thoughtful. I wonder what he's thinking about…

Probably his stomach, or his lack of sleep. He looks a bit worn out. I hope he wasn't up too late thinking about Anna and that Slytherin like I was.

That Slytherin, what a dirty liar. I should probably find Anna and warn her about the horrible rumours he's planning on spreading. Well, if his implications are anything to go by, that is. Maybe I should ask James what he thinks…

--

"Hello? Earth to James? Have you been listening to me?"  
James jerked out of his reverie with a start, "Sorry, of course I was… kinda… well, I tuned out, to be honest, but please continue," he said looking sheepish. Lily just chuckled to herself.

"I was just asking you whether or not you think I should warn Anna about those nasty rumours what's-his-face is spreading about her," she said, sipping her pumpkin juice.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he concurred, "Do you reckon Moony needs to know?"

"I think it's best that he hears the rumours from a friend rather than an unknown source, yeah."

"Mmm, I spose so. He's pretty run down at the moment, though, it's nearly a full moon," James nodded his head slightly towards the partially visible setting moon, round and pale in the early morning light.

"Okay, wait til he's feeling better. Remus has never been one to cope with being in the public eye very well."

"He is a marauder," James pointed out, "I think it's the fact that this is a personal matter more than anything. So I'll wait. I'll tell Padfoot and Wormtail, though, they ought to know."

"You know, that's always puzzled me," Lily said, setting her goblet down and leaning forward slightly.

"What does?"

"I understand Remus' nickname - Moony, for his lycanthropy - but what I don't understand is why the rest of you lot have such odd ones," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, err, you see. We thought animal related names would be nice to, err, make Moony feel more at home. So we chose our favourite animals. Padfoot's for a dog and Wormtail is for a rat," he concluded clumsily. Lily did not notice his eyes carefully avoiding hers.

"Peter's favourite animal is a rat?" James nodded.

"He had one when he was little."

"Weird. And what about you, Prongs?" she grinned.

"I'm a stag," he replied proudly, before realising his mistake, "I mean, that's my favourite animal. When my Dad and I went camping there used to be this one that would hang around our tent and wait for our breakfast leftovers. Really sweet little thing, but selfless to a fault. We came across a Chimera one time, which was weird coz we weren't even in Asia, we were in the woods in Northern England somewhere, I think. Anyway, before Dad had a chance to draw his wand to protect us, this stag had gotten in the way. It had scared off the chimera but had gotten this massive gash down its side trying to protect us and it was going to bleed to death, so Dad put it out of its misery. But, yeah, it's been my favourite animal ever since then, and I'm rambling now, sorry," James said, catching a glimpse of Lily's face. She was watching him rapturously, but with an unidentifiable expression. He would have mistaken it for boredom had she not spoken next.

"That's a really nice animal," she said simply. He smiled warmly at her, pleased that he'd been able to tell her at least a half truth.

"Well, I've told you something embarrassing, now it's your turn," he grinned mischievously.

"I don't think so," Lily said, "No one forced you to tell me."

"Aw, c'mon Lils, I think you're perfect, no matter what." Lily blushed profusely at this, looking at her plate of toast crusts. James felt a little bad for pushing the subject and flushed a little himself.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be pushy," he said, but Lily cut him off.

"Nah, I spose you're right. What to tell..?" she mused.

"Anything."

"Okay, I don't like pumpkins. Or individually wrapped cheese slices," she grinned.

"Lily," James said warningly, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Oh, fine. When I was about seven and Petunia would've been a bit older than me, we were in the park playing on the swings. And we were having a competition to see who could swing the highest. We used to think that if you pushed hard enough you could swing over the top of the bar and you'd get magically transported to another world," she stopped and gave a little chuckle. James just looked at her bemusedly; she was looking out across the grounds as she spoke with a faraway look on her face.

"Anyway, it was this one day in summer and we were both trying really hard, coz whoever got the highest was allowed to eat the last chocolate biscuit. We were on a picnic, you see. And I got really high, but I thought I was going to slip off. So instead I jumped midway through the air. It felt like I was twenty feet off the ground, but I'm sure it wasn't really that high. When I jumped off, I kind of hovered in the air for a bit. Longer than a normal person would be able to, anyway. It was my first real encounter with magic, only I didn't know it was. Tuney tried to copy me and ended up spraining her wrist. She was a bit annoyed at me after that. A couple of weeks later we were at the same park and I was showing off to Tuney again, then we met Severus for the first time-"

"Snivellus was there?" James asked incredulously, barely able to contain his outrage.

"Well, yeah. He lives in Spinner's End, near my neighbourhood. He was the one who first told me I was a witch. We were friends for a while before, well, he became… you know," she said sadly. Her loss of friendship with Snape still caused her pain. They had been quite close friends, but then he had said those words to her, those hurtful, inevitable words, and things couldn't go back to the way they had been. James wanted to respect Lily so he said nothing further on the subject of Snape being the first one to tell her about the magical world, but made a note to hex Snivellus' greasy head into oblivion at a later date.

"So your first time with magic was on a swing-set?" he asked, with a small smile.

"Yeah, what about you?"

"Well, I grew up in an all-magical family. I was around magic all the time. But the first time I can remember doing accidental magic was when my sister, Alex, was about three and she was on the kitchen bench reaching up for a piece of cake. She loved Mum's carrot cake. Anyway, she sort of slipped and fell, and I was watching it happen from across the room. I can't remember where my parents were, but I couldn't get to her in time, and suddenly there was a cushion on the floor where she landed. I don't know how it happened but I think it was me."

"Trust your first bit of magic to be heroic," Lily grinned, shaking her head.

"Well, I think I wanted the cake more than anything," James said modestly. Lily was about to make a joke about James having a saving-people complex when they both heard a loud banging on their common room door. It really had to be quite loud considering that they could hear it from outside on their balcony. Lily rolled her eyes, "Our friends are so impatient."

"Hey, don't look at me. Sirius doesn't knock like that," James defended as Lily got up from the table.

"You know his specific door-knocking habits. You guys really do spend too much time together," she shot a charming smile at him over her shoulder and continued inside to let in whomever was at the door, while James was left to melt into a puddle of happiness at her smile.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Lily called, wrapping the blanket firmly around her as she realised just how little clothing she was actually wearing. She opened the portrait hole to find her two best friends standing there, fully clothed - Cat with a determined look on her face, Anna looking rather blue - even though it was only nine o'clock in the morning.

"Hey, guys, what's wrong?" Lily asked, motioning for them to come into the room. Cat shot an anxious look over Lily's shoulder at James who had just entered the room, bearing a tray of the breakfast dishes and setting it down on his desk. Cat then looked back at Lily, giving her a significant look, which Lily took to mean 'we need to chat privately, now'.

"Hey guys, what's up?" James asked with concern as he saw Anna's sad face.

"We're just going to go up to my room and have a bit of a talk. Sorry," Lily said with an apologetic smile. James just waved a hand at her, signalling that he'd see her later anyway. Cat and Anna hurried up the stairs with Lily brining up the rear, shooting James a curious-confused look as she went. James just sighed slightly - they had been having such a peaceful morning - and decided to take a shower and then seek out Sirius and Peter.

* * *

"Okay, so what's wrong with you two?" Lily asked, "It's only, what, nine in the morning!"

"Anna has a problem," Cat said, stony faced.

"Is it serious?" Lily asked, concernedly, settling cross-legged on the bed across from the other two girls. Cat looked sideways at Anna who, staring determinedly at the bed-spread, nodded.

"What happened?" Lily asked softly.

"It's… I did something, last year. And I- I didn't mean to, but now it's… and he's going to, but he can't and Remus will hate me," was all Anna managed to choke out before she started crying once more. Cat hugged her friend while looking at Lily seriously.

"This doesn't have anything to do with that awful Slytherin seventh-year, does it?" Lily asked, guessing that Anna had heard the rumours and was worried about Remus' reaction. It seemed that she was right on the money, for Cat's eyes widened considerably.

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"He was taunting me and James last night. We ran into him and his gang when we were doing our rounds on our way back to our common room, and he was just spreading rumours about Anna and telling us that we didn't know the real her. He was being such a git, I just wanted to curse him senseless," Lily rambled.

"Oh Merlin," Cat whispered.

"Oh, don't worry, I didn't believe any of the garbage he was pedalling. In fact, I think I broke his nose. He was just saying some really nasty stuff and my temper got the better of me. He didn't seem to care, though," she mused.

"Oh lord, he wasn't bluffing, he is actually going to tell everyone!" Anna exclaimed in a hoarse whisper.

"Tell everyone what? They were just lies, Anna," Lily said with a frown, "Don't worry. Remus wouldn't believe the stories for a minute."

"But Lily, they aren't stories!" Anna cried, bursting into yet more tears.

"What?" Lily's jaw dropped. Anna was unable to respond so Cat did the honours.

"Apparently at the end of our sixth year, Anna and Edmond, I think his name is, well, they were sort of…involved," she said awkwardly.

"What?" Lily repeated, in a deadpan tone.

"We slept together. More than once. And we kept it a secret," Anna said.

"But…why?" Lily asked.

"I don't know!" Anna replied, shaking her head so violently that Lily feared it may fall off, "I don't know what I was thinking."

"But he's awful!" Lily exclaimed, still unable to comprehend this horrible truth.

"I know, I knew - I broke it off with him just before the holidays and he was right angry. He's been threatening all year to tell people."

"I'm surprised it's taken him this long to actually follow through with his promises," Cat pointed out.

"I'm sure it's because Remus and I have started dating. Oh, Remus!" she sobbed hopelessly. Lily was dumbfounded. Not only was Anna - perpetually, indestructibly strong Anna - sobbing like a child, but she had actually been in a relationship with a Slytherin. Anna, who had always been confident with boys, Anna who had always proclaimed her dislike for prejudices, Anna who was head over heels in love with a prefect - she had shocked Lily to the core.

"That'd be right. I've heard he's the jealous type," Cat said angrily.

"Hell hath no fury like a lover scorned," Lily recited. It was the first she had spoken since Anna had broken the news.

"Lily, we need to do something," Cat said, "Should we try to stop Remus from finding out or hex Edmond or what?"

"I think Remus deserves to know the truth," Lily began, before realising that not only was it nearly a full moon and Remus was exhausted, but that Remus, too, had been keeping his secret (potentially the largest sort of a secret that a person can keep) from Anna.

"Are you sure?" Cat interrupted Lily's stream of thought.

"No, I'm not. Maybe we should try and stop Triscombe from telling anyone else," Lily suggested.

"That sounds like a plan," Cat replied, "Where do we start?"

"I'll be right back," Lily said, a thought occurring to her. She quickly flung on some clothes and hurried down her staircase to find James.

* * *

A mere hour later, Lily found herself in the Gryffindor common room with Cat, Anna, James, Sirius and Peter. They were discussing battle tactics. It was only ten in the morning and, being the last official day of holidays, the majority of students were still in their beds or were en-route to return to Hogwarts after spending time with their families.

"Okay, so it says on the map that he's in the Slytherin common room with only Flint and Mulciber," Sirius pointed to the tiny dots.

"Where'd you get that?" Lily asked, unable to contain her curiosity.

"Doesn't matter," Sirius replied gruffly, "Now, I say that James and I go under the cloak and wait to ambush him, the rest of you wait here."

"No, I don't like that idea at all," Cat said, glaring at her boyfriend, "What are me and Lils, spare parts?"

"We just don't want you to get hurt, that's all," James said earnestly.

"Really, James, you need to get over this hero-complex," Lily said.

"I do not have a hero complex! Just because I want to protect those that I-"

"Guys! Can we please just get on with it. We don't have forever," Anna said anxiously, her usually pretty blue eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and excessive tears.

"Okay, well, I think we need to use Anna as a bait, of sorts," Lily said. Anna opened her mouth to protest, but Lily cut her off.

"How else are we going to get him to come out of his common room alone or at least with as few cronies as possible? He's hardly going to come out because a random bunch of Gryffindors want him to."

"Lily has a point," Sirius said, but James was not quite convinced.

"But can Anna cope with this sort of thing. I mean, I've heard that this bloke can get violent."

"Well, you two will be there under the cloak to overpower him if needs be," Lily said logically. "Anna has a chance first at trying to talk him round - convince him to let it go - and if it fails, you and Sirius grab him and force him along to the first floor corridor."

"Why, what's so special over there?" Peter asked, but Sirius and James were grinning, even before Lily said, "The vanishing cabinet."

"We're going to force that git into a vanishing cabinet?" Cat moaned.

"What's wrong with that? I think it sounds like a brilliant idea," Sirius said, his grey eyes sparkling.

"No, it's definitely a good plan, it's just… I really wanted to make him suffer first," Cat said in a small voice, mostly because she was embarrassed that a part of her wanted to just pummel every inch of the boy that had taken advantage of her friend. Lily laughed, "Don't be embarrassed, Cat, I broke his nose, remember? And James also got in a few punches." Cat relaxed at this.

"Hey? Do you know who else we owe payback to?" Sirius asked, sitting up straight with his sudden epiphany, "Flint."

"Huh?" the girls asked in unison, while James smiled appreciatively, "Oh, yeah!"

"Remember? He hit Cat off her broom after the Quidditch match had ended," James continued.

"He's had it coming to him for a long time now," Sirius said with that same vengeful glint in his eye.

"You know what, I really don't feel good about this," Lily said, "I mean the Triscombe thing is preventative. It's damage control. But Flint - well, that's just damage."

"No, it's what goes around comes around. Besides, if it makes you feel any better, we won't hex him… as much," Sirius said.

"James, we're Head Students, we really shouldn't be doing this," Lily pleaded. James was torn. He didn't want to upset Lily or compromise his position as Head Boy, but in his heart he was a Gryffindor, brave and loyal, and he knew that his friends and their well-being had to come above his own scruples (not that he had many when it came to paying back Slytherins).

"Sorry, Lily, but we have to do this. Otherwise Flint will get away with hurting Cat and will probably hurt someone else, and Triscombe will spread things about Anna that will really hurt Moony. We have to." Lily looked at him and carefully considered his words. She knew he was right - after-all she was a Gryffindor too.

"Okay, fine. Peter, you have to be the look out. Cat and I will wait by the vanishing cupboard and you wait around the corner and give us the signal when you see them coming or if you see Filch, okay?"

Peter nodded stupidly - it really was a wonder where and how he fitted in with the Marauders at all.

"Right, people. Operation Damage Control and Revenge on the Slytherins starts now," Sirius said, and they all filed out of the common room, wands clutched tightly in their hands.

* * *

They returned to the comfy couch in front of the fire a good forty minutes later, tired but pleased. Operation DCARONS, as Sirius had dubbed it, was an unqualified success. They had managed to lure Triscombe out with an owl from Anna, and he - being the cowardly prat that he was - brought out Mulciber and Flint, who had been in the common room with him for backup. It made matters quite easy. James put a body bind on Mulciber and left him there, wondering who has hit him with a curse when there was plainly no one to be seen. The next thing Triscombe and Flint knew was they were being forced down the hall and being periodically zapped with hexes. They could see two very angry looking girls on either side of them, firing said hexes, but by the end they were so befuddled by their ordeal that they would be unable to pick them out in a line up. Then, with a flourish, James and Sirius had shoved the two into the cabinet, and had escorted the rest of their team back to the common room. It would take a long while (perhaps days or weeks) for the pair of Slytherins to turn up again, and when they did the Gryffindors had no doubt that they would be to confused by their trials to even remember what they had been doing (namely about to spread rumours about Anna) and would probably become quite introverted for a period of time. This amused the girls no end, and the boys were pleased that they had been able to help. James, Sirius and Peter had been informed of Anna's full situation before agreeing to help, and they had all decided that it would be best to keep their little adventure and Anna's little secret from Remus. Of course, Cat and Anna were the only ones who failed to see the irony in the keeping of secrets, being the only two in the group who were unaware of Remus' affliction.

Once in the common room, they parted ways. Lily returning for some last minute homework in the library, Anna to write a letter to her cousin (who had invited her over for New Years Eve), Cat to practise some Quidditch manoeuvres in the cold winter air and the boys to plan for the up and coming full moon.

* * *

AN - Okay, so that's another chapter done and dusted. I hope all the characters stayed in character - i think, for the most part, they did.  
So, time for some school work, potentially new years eve, and many other things - please let me know if there's any big event which i seem to be missing (ie a ball that u feel is necessary or something) coz sometimes i forget to look at my plan/timeline and i skip things  
Also the quote "hell hath no fury" - i couldn't remember if it was woman or lover, but lover fitted better in this sense coz triscombe is not a woman... so i hope that's ok...  
Thanks again to all the brilliant people who review and who stick with this story - you know who you are.  
oh, on another note, this story is long because i like to read the really long ones where you get attached to the characters and you learn many a detail about them, so i apologise if you think it's dragging. it's going to drag on for quite a bit longer, but at least lily and james are together now... but will they remain so..? (inevitably they have to end up together or there would be no harry, duh!) but stay tuned for the exciting ups and downs of lj's relationship.  
okay, now i'm just rambling - really, im just putting off my maths homework - whoever sat down and thought of all these formulas and rules clearly had too much time on their hands!! :)


	29. Notes, The Date and Encounter Number One

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or any of the original characters.

**AN:** weeee! it's been over a week. But sac week from hell is over, seussical the musical is over and i am free. free, i tell you! (laughs like a maniac)  
but yes, to make up for the absence this is a nice long meaty (lol) chapter with (unfortunately) minimum fluff and lots of plot. there isn't much else but lj in here coz i feel i've neglected them in the past two chappies for anna and remus, but don't worry - they'll be back later.

In this chapter: more note passing, harry and ginny!! lily and james' first date (squee) and their first face to face encounter with... read and find out. it could be anyone. altho it wouldn't be exciting if it wasnt who we know it is. anyway, enough of my rambling. READ AND ENJOY!! :)

* * *

**Chapter 28 - More Notes, the Date and Encounter Number One:**

The following weeks saw the seventh years return to their dreary routines with little time to do anything other than study. Before they knew it, they were three weeks into January with the prospect of NEWTS looming ever closer. It was of great amusement to the student body that the Marauders, at any rate, had not been deterred from their usual trouble-making ways because of exams. In fact, they had pulled so many stunts that James and Sirius were clearly going to succeed in holding their record of the most detentions dealt in one day (twenty seven). Actually, to be fair, James was let off of most of these charges because there was no actual evidence that he had done anything. However, he was never one to leave a friend in the lurch, so he chose to serve the multiple detentions with the rest of his marauding crew (and occasionally Cat, who got dragged into things somehow). Lily, though she would not admit it to herself, let alone to another person, was actually missing the time they could be spending together. She had yet to tell James off for his unruly behaviour, in part because it was a welcome distraction but also because she was wary of causing another argument. _Since when did a boy reduce me to such a weak person?_ she asked herself one day. Of course, the answer was obvious, it's just that Lily was unable to see it.

She and James had taken to holding hands (but not in public), sitting together at mealtimes (which was sort of normal nowadays anyway) and giving one another the odd good night kiss (or snog, as the case may be) but James' wishes to take things slow were certainly being honoured and the couple hadn't officially become a couple. Of course there were rumours on the Hogwarts grapevine but whomever had the ill-sense to believe that Lily Evans and James Potter were an item was ridiculed for believing it to be possible. Additionally, there had not yet been a Hogsmeade visit since the one during Christmas break, so Lily didn't consider herself and James to be a proper couple on account of the fact that they had yet to go on an actual date. Thankfully a Hogsmeade weekend was coming up at the end of the week and James was getting increasingly nervous about his much anticipated date with the girl of his dreams.

* * *

Passing Notes in Charms:

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Cat:**

**Prongs, man, you need to relax. She already really likes you.**

_I have to agree with Sirius, James, you really don't have to worry._

Easy for you two to say, both of you have girlfriends.

**And spanking good ones at that.**

**Hey Cat, light of my life, why aren't you practising that banishing charm like we're meant to be doing?**

**I figured I got enough practice with that on our last prank.**

Yeah, the Slytherins still haven't worked out where all their house points have gone.

**It's a good thing I had Lily help me.**

**No way! Lily-flower? Sweet, innocent, Head Girl Lily?**

Yeah, why wouldn't I help?

Because you like the rules?

Ah, James, you have much to learn about the complex mind of Lily.

_I hate it when people refer to themselves in the third person._

**Mister Padfoot concurs with Mister Moony.**

Padfoot, you're so annoying

**Thank you**

It wasn't a compliment.

…

Never mind. Lily, when did you help Cat?

That night that you were back in your old dorm. I got lonely/bored so I went to visit Cat.

**Ah, good times.**

**And where was the lovely Anna at this point in time?**

_That's none of your business._

**Woo hoo! Moony got some action!**

(Laughs) Moony slaps like a girl.

I think Sirius probably deserved it.

Yeah, probably. Now do you two mind leaving us? Private Marauders affairs to discuss.

Okay, we know when we're not wanted.

Oh, don't get me wrong, you are very much wanted… just I'm otherwise engaged at this particular moment.

I was joking, no need to look so frightened!

**Yeah, James, she's still your girlfriend**

Well, not specifically.

_They haven't gone on their first official date yet. Which, coincidentally, is what's making James nervous and why we need to have 'secret Marauder time' in the middle of a Charms class._

Thanks Remus. Cat, why don't boys just speak like that all the time?

**Because they're boys.**

**I'm not sure just how offended I should be…**

**I'll make it up to you later.**

Whoa! Way too much information. Keep your secret lovers trysts to yourself.

You know what a tryst is?

_Yeah, he used to read those tacky romance novels to try and find a unique way of asking you out and they use that bloody word a lot._

Wormtail, I swear if you don't get out of my sight in five seconds, I will charm you into doing a series of very embarrassing stunts involving nudity, such is the level of my anger.

Wow, James, that was surprisingly controlled for someone who has just been outed as a secret 'Mills and Boon' reader. 

(Blushes)

S'ok, I think it's cute.

Well, it was all in the pursuit of you anyway so it's not too bad.

**That's what you think. Can anyone say blackmail?**

Can anyone say Sirius' face looks like a smashed tomato?

**Huh?**

_He means he'll hurt you._

**Oh, I'll just shut up then**

Good thinking ninety-nine.

**Huh?**

_James, I think that we should get on with the plan. The girls have gone. _

Okay. Well, it's the Hogsmeade trip on Saturday and I'm obviously going to be taking Lily. And, as you two both have dates, I have no wingman.

**Dude, you don't take a wingman on a date, anyway.**

_Padfoot is right, but let me point out that I don't have a date and I could've been your wingman._

_Peter, weren't you going on a date with Agatha?_

_Huh? Oh, we're on a 'break'. _

How come?

_I'm not really sure. Look, I think you guys can plan on your own, I need to go ask Flitwick a question. _

**I think we upset him.**

_You think?_

No time to worry about Wormtail! What am I going to do about my date?

**Prongs, how many times do we have to tell you? Lily likes you and has been your snogging partner for how many weeks now?**

Three weeks, four days and I'm not really sure about hours but…

**It was rhetorical! The point is, she's going to like you anyway, even if you cock up your date.**

_Having said that, we do understand that you want it to be good, don't we Padfoot?_

**Yep.**

_And so we advise that you seriously just relax. Take her somewhere she'll be comfortable - like the Three Broomsticks - and maybe go for a walk to the Shrieking Shack. _

**Speaking of which, seeing as how it's the full moon Friday night-**

Shit! Moony, I'm so sorry, I just completely forgot!  
_It's okay, Prongs, I understand. But maybe you should give this Friday a miss? It's more important that you're prepared for your date with Lily. _

No. I'm not going to leave you guys to cope by yourselves.

**But Prongs, we can cope just fine.**

No, I need to be there with you guys, just in case. You can't change my mind.

_What are you going to tell Lily?_

What I told her last time - that Padfoot gets really lonely when you aren't around.

_And she believes that?_

Well, she did last time. I might add that we're pulling a prank to cheer you up. I'm sure she won't mind.

**That's actually a good idea.**

It's been known to happen.

**No, I mean the prank. What'll we do?**

Huh?

**Evans will be expecting a prank so let's give her a prank.**

_Can we work this out later; I need to study charms._

But I need help planning my date!  
**And it's not like you need to study, Moony, you got all O's in your OWLS. **

Yeah, and so did we, save divination, so we can afford to chat in class.

_Fine. But if I fail this section of the exam and jump off the astronomy tower then I'm coming back to haunt you,_

Was the astronomy tower comment really necessary?

_No, but I needed a reason to be able to haunt you._

Fair point. Now, what do I wear?

Wear blue

Lily!

What? I solemnly swear that I wasn't eavesdropping... Or reading, or whatever you call it. 

(Pointed glare)

Okay, sorry, So I overheard a little. But just so you know, don't be nervous!

Why?

Coz I'm nervous enough for the both of us.

**Oh, get a room!**

_Padfoot, it's not like they're snogging or anything._

**Yeah, but those lovey-dovey looks they're giving each other are enough to make me sick!**

_You're that bad with Cat._

**You take that back!**

It's true, you know.

**Where'd the lovely Lily go?**

After assuring me that the Three Broomsticks would be fine and that Madame Puddifoot's is definitely out of the question, she went back to her work.

_Conscientiousness is a good value to have. _

**But you love us anyway.**

_This is true… but in a manly, platonic kind of way._

Thanks for the clarification, Moony.

**Now that we're done with Prongs' 'issues' let's plan our grand prank. **

Flitwick's coming!

_Hide the parchment._

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary:**

Okay, so I finally went on the all important grand first date with James Potter. It was… interesting, to say the least. Well, if you call being attacked by death eaters and Voldemort in the streets of Hogsmeade interesting, that is. I should be resting right now, Madam Pomfrey would have a fit if she knew I was still awake, but I'm under James' cloak so she can't see the light of my wand. Come to think of it, she won't be able to see me… but I'll worry about that when I have to.

I suppose I should probably start at the beginning:

Saturday morning: I wake up (not that I was sleeping particularly well in the first place on account of James being in the Marauder's dormitory for Sirius' loneliness), I shower, I spend approximately an hour and a half deciding what to wear and I walk down to the Great Hall for breakfast. (I'm going to change to past tense now - it's easier on my poor, tired brain).

I saw Cat sitting down the end of the table and I went to join her.

"Hey," Cat said with a small smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Like those butterflies in my stomach have multiplied by a million and are now trying to escape," I replied.

"I see. Well, I suppose that's what seven odd years of build-up to a single date will do," she grinned, "Let's face it, Lils, you've finally given in and you're hoping against hope that it's been worth the wait. Am I right?"  
I nodded a bit. To tell the truth, I wasn't so much nervous about the date being a flop (coz I like James anyway - you know, a LOT) but I was a bit worried that after so long trying to get me to go out with him, I would be a disappointment to James. Like I couldn't live up to his expectations or something. Which is ridiculous - or so Cat told me - because apparently James will like me no matter what. Not that I'm reliant on him, or anything. Not even close. I just happen to enjoy his company and his kisses and the safe feeling I get around him and the way he smiles at me like it's just us and the way he jokes about…no!

I digress.

Back to the story.

So Cat was reassuring me and telling me not to worry, when Anna walked in looking a little confused.

"I can't find Remus anywhere," she said, flopping down next to me on the bench, "The Marauder's room is empty, they're not in the common room and now they aren't down here."

"Oh, didn't they tell you? They are planning a big prank on the Slytherins this morning," Cat said.

"Yeah, James even slept in their dormitory last night so that they could plan it," I said, knowing that Remus was the only one of the four who wouldn't have been there anyway.

"Oh, okay. I just wanted to have breakfast with him, that's all," Anna said glumly, not nearly her usual bubbly self.

"You mean you wanted to have a talk about Triscombe with him?" Cat asked. Triscombe and Flint had been found, a week earlier, wandering around Knockturn Alley disoriented and without a clue as to how they had gotten there. Of course, rumour had it that the Marauders had been involved, but when I'd testified that we were all together at the time of their disappearance McGonagall couldn't prove anything.

"Yes. I've been working my way up to it for weeks now. It's time he knew the truth. But now that I'm ready to tell him, he's not bloody here!" she cried in frustration.

"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll turn up before long," I lied. Now that I think about it, I have been doing quite a bit of fibbing lately. That must be what hanging out with the Marauders for a long period of time does to a girl.

After a fairly unexciting plate of toast and some stilted conversation with Anna and Cat, the three Marauders walked into the hall looking exceptionally tired and worn-out. I smiled at James from across the Hall and he tried to smile back, but ended up wincing. He had this massive gash across his cheek. Merlin knows how he got it, but I suspect Slytherin involvement because Sirius' arms were also sprinkled with small cuts. The pair of them appeared to be a little bruised, although Peter showed no sign of disrepair (unless you can count fatigue).

"I take it that the prank on Slytherin was unsuccessful?" Cat asked, the corner of her mouth twitching up in a smirk.

"We shall not ever talk about it," Sirius said aloofly, sliding down across from us. James and Peter followed suit.

"James, what happened to your face?" I asked quietly.

"Slytherins," he replied, not meeting my eyes (I think there's more to it than he's telling me, but I won't press the matter).

"Where's Remus?" Cat asked.

"In the hospital wing. I accidentally gave him a vial of sleeping potion instead of Felix Felicis - you know, the good luck potion, for our prank - so he's up there sleeping it off," Sirius replied. In my opinion it all seemed a bit far-fetched, but maybe that's just because I know that Remus was really in the hospital wing for his lycanthropy.

"So, are you two lovebirds ready for your big date, then?" Anna asked, in an effort, I think, to distract herself from Remus' absence. James promptly spluttered pumpkin juice all down his front. I found this hilarious. Needless to say, his face turned a bright red and he looked as if her just wanted to disappear. Pity he'd left his cloak upstairs.

"I think Prongs is just a wee bit nervous, wouldn't you say, Cat?"

"I would probably agree with you right there, Sirius. But he has nothing to be nervous about, does he, Lils?"

"Shh, keep your voice down or everyone will hear!" I whispered, but it was too late.

"Ladies and gentlemen, students and teachers of Hogwarts," Sirius yelled, standing up on his bench, "It is my duty to inform you that today, at long last, Lily 'Head-Girl' Evans is going on a date with infamous James 'the Marauder' Potter! We wish them our best on this happy day and hope that after seven years in the making it does not fail to disappoint!" He then proceeded to lead a round of applause. I swear, I have never ever been more embarrassed in my entire life. Luckily, James was equally embarrassed (I think mostly coz it was his idea to take things slowly). In fact, he looked as if he would've liked to murder Sirius right then and there.

"Padfoot, what are you doing?" he very nearly yelled, eyes wide.

"Sorry, Prongs mate, but the people deserve to know. Besides, they'll see you together in Hogsmeade today anyway and you don't want to keep the girl of your dreams a secret forever, now do you?"

The rest of them were doubled up with laughter at seeing their two friends so embarrassed, so I decided that it was better to get things over and done with. I grabbed James by the hand and dragged him out of the hall, waiting for a minute so that he could grab some toast.

"Lily, what are you doing?" he asked me once we were outside in the Entrance Hall.

"I'm just sick of being in the spotlight," I replied, although it was mostly because I just wanted to spend one-on-one time with James as soon as possible. When I realised this, however, I let go of his hand hastily.

"So, do you want to… I don't know, err, get started with this whole 'date' thing?" I asked awkwardly.

"Sure," he grinned, "Are you ready to go?" I nodded.

"Good. Wait right here, I'll be right back," and he sprinted off. About fifteen minutes later, we were walking to Hogsmeade together, holding hands in the crisp Winter air.

...

"So your birthday's in March?"

"Yep," James replied, "And yours is a week from today." I laughed at him, as he apologised for seeming like a stalker and he grinned happily at the fact that I wasn't concerned over his quirkiness. Now that I think about it, I can't really remember all the details of the day that well - it's all sort of been eclipsed by what happened that afternoon, really.

* * *

Lily and James had spent the first couple of hours wandering around Hogsmeade. Quite frankly, the place was no-longer as exciting as it had once been, but it was enough just to be in one another's company. In between visiting Zonko's, Shrivenshaft's, Quality Quidditch Supplies, the Post Office, other various shops and pausing for the occasional kiss (or make-out session, as the case my be) Lily and James found that there was very little, if any, awkward silences between them. At about midday, they decided to have lunch at the Three Broomsticks. James insisted on paying, even though Lily wanted to split the bill, because he felt bad about keeping her so long in Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"What do you want for your birthday, though?" James persisted, while Lily sipped her Butterbeer.

"Oh, I don't know. A new quill," she replied dismissively.

"No, really, Lily. I want to get you something special," he whined, pouting. Lily giggled.

"I've already got everything I need."

"What about what you want?"

"I've got that too," she grinned cheekily.

"Lily, will you be my girlfriend?" James asked suddenly.

"Of course," Lily replied without delay.

"Really?" James asked, as if he could hardly believe his luck, "I mean officially, though. No more secrets and whatnot."

"Well, I assumed that this date sort of made me your girlfriend anyway. I mean, we have been sort of together for a while now."

"Oh good, coz that's what I thought too. I just… I don't know, wanted to… err, check, or something?"

"You really are surprisingly awkward at this sort of thing," she remarked, tilting her head to one side.

"Well, it's just - I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Lily, but I have liked your for _ages_! I mean, I've been asking you out since, what, fourth year. And now we're together. I just thought it best to make absolutely sure." Lily leant across the small table and closed the distance between them as she softly brushed her lips against his. He leant forward, placing a hand gently behind Lily's head, deepening the kiss. It was short but sweet.

"Just so you're sure," Lily smiled.

"I'm not entirely convinced," James mumbled as he pulled her in for another kiss. She smiled against his mouth, feeling completely secure in his arms. This security did not last long.

"What was that?" Lily asked, pulling away from James quickly as she felt the ground beneath them quake a little.  
"I don't know," he replied seriously. Frowning, he looked towards the door of the pub. Other patrons were doing the same. As James rose from his seat another quake shook the sturdy establishment. People were starting to panic and there was a sudden surge towards the door.

"Lily, we need to get out of here," James said, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. Just then screams rent the air and there was a large cracking noise. It seemed as though the door had been split in half.

"This way," Lily cried urgently, dragging him towards the back of the pub and into the girls' toilets. James followed her, wand drawn and aimed behind him just in case. Lily pushed through the emergency exit out the back of the lavatories; she and James ended up in a small back lane behind the shops. Lily looked around frantically, her wand drawn also, red hair flying every which way in the sudden wind that had sprung up.

"Lily, look!" James yelled, pointing to the end of the alley way, where a crowd of wizards in black robes and masks were shooting spells all over the place. Thankfully they weren't approaching the teenage pair, but were rather proceeding down the main street.

"Death Eaters," Lily whispered, her green eyes wide with fear.

"Lily, get back to the castle. Alert Dumbledore. I need to get everyone back," James commanded, striding off down the passage.

"Wait! You need my help, we need to stick together!" Lily called.

"I don't want you to get hurt, especially on our first date!" James cried in frustration.

"James, just let me help. You can't do it yourself. The other prefects will be helping too, don't worry." And with that, Lily sent her patronus off up to the castle with the message for Dumbledore.

"Okay, let's go"

Sloshing through the remaining snow, the pair reached the main street to see absolute chaos unfolding before them. On Lily's right, Death Eaters had managed to explode several of the shops, which now stood in half-ruins, smoking and crumbling. On James' left, the crowd of about six Death Eaters stood, firing curses all about. One had levitated a student and was now spinning them around at a rate of knots in the air.

"Stupefy!" James roared, shooting a red stunning jinx at the offending Death Eater. "Levicorpus!" Lily cried at the student, just before they hit the ground. She lowered the trembling girl to the ground just in time to deflect a curse that was shot her way.

"Stay out of this, mudblood, and you won't get hurt!" cried a familiar voice from behind the mask.

"Petrificus Tota-"

"Silencio!" and Lily was unable to complete her spell.

"Now, Evans, you're going to get what you deserve," said the chillingly familiar voice, "Cruc-"

"Protego!" came Sirius' voice out of nowhere, and Lily was knocked to the ground with the force of the deflected spell. As she struggled to get up (her feet were struggling against a leg-locker curse) she saw that Sirius, Cat, Anna and a very tired looking Lupin had joined the fight. Each of them was battling their own Death Eater. The other residents of Hogsmeade seemed to be fleeing in fear. Even the shop-owners seemed to have disappeared. Lily saw a familiar face rushing past her. It was Marlene McKinnon, the sixth year Ravenclaw prefect.

"Marlene, get all the student back to Hogwarts!" Lily yelled. The pretty girl yelled an affirmative as she ran off, herding children back towards the school. Then Lily's heart nearly stopped beating - she noticed that James was nowhere to be seen. She scrambled up off the ground, and looked around frantically. That's when she heard the voices.

"Oh, come on Bella, you can do better than that!" Lily raced around the side of a building, dodging curses as she went, to find her new boyfriend duelling fiercely with a masked Death Eater who had long dark hair.

"Too arrogant Potter! The Dark Lord will deal with you, just like he dealt with your ignorant mother and sister," his opponent taunted. Lily gasped loudly as she realised that James was duelling Sirius' cousin. Unfortunately for her, Bellatrix heard the sudden intake of air, and shot a quick stunning jinx her way. Lily dodged it by mere centimetres, rolling onto the ground where she aimed her wand at Bellatrix.

"Black, you take your wand off my girlfriend, or I swear to Merlin I will kill you," James growled. But Bella didn't remove her focus.

"Is the ickle mudblood scared? Has the little red head been having nightmares? When you're all alone and nobody to save you?"

"What are you talking about, Bella?" Lily demanded, remaining crouched on the ground, ready to pounce.

"Oh, the Dark Lord has plans for you," she replied coolly, and Lily could sense that she was grinning insanely from behind her mask, "For you, and for your boyfriend and for your family-"

"Stupefy!" James cried again, and Bella fell to the ground. Lily remained where she was, shaking from head to toe as James rushed over to her.

"Don't listen to her - she was just trying to upset you. It's okay. I'm here," he said soothingly, pulling her into a tight embrace. Lily surprised herself in remaining tear-free and she pulled away after a minute, "We should go back and help." The two of them left Bella's body behind (in hindsight, they saw that they should've put a body-bind on her) and returned to the street. But no-one was to be seen. The dark mark hovered above three or four shops, and Lily shuddered involuntarily.

"Where did they go?" James whispered, wand drawn.

"I don't know, but I really think we should get back to the castle now, James," Lily implored.

"But what about Padfoot and Moony?"

"They must be there already. Dumbledore must be here somewhere," Lily suggested hopefully, turning her head in search of their Headmaster.

"Okay, let's go," James said as he grabbed her hand. They had taken only a few steps when, "Impedimenta!"

Lily and James both pitched forwards, hitting the hard, snow-free ground with a thud. Lily felt her wand wrist break as she hit the ground.

"So, you thought that you would stun me, did you? ME! Bellatrix Lestrange; the most loyal and devoted servant to the Dark Lord. That's so like an arrogant Potter to do," came that same drawling voice.

"Should've used a body-bind," James muttered bitterly.

"What was that, blood traitor?" Bella demanded.

"Nothing, oh mighty pure-blood," James said sarcastically, rolling over to face her, "Just that-"

"Expelliarmus!" Bella cried, "Just in case."

"It's rude to interrupt people while they're talking, Bella, or didn't you incestuous pure-blood mother teach you that?" James said angrily.

"For that, Potter, you get to see your ickle mudblood girlfriend in pain," she leered, "Crucio!"  
Lily felt as though a thousand red hot knives were stabbing her all over her body. She screamed and writhed in pain. James felt a thousand knives go through him when he heard that noise. With a yell he lunged for Bellatrix. Although the curse was broken, she maintained a firm grip on her wand, not to mention both Lily's and James'. Lily lay panting and softly sobbing on the ground. James tried to grab his wand back from Bella but she threw him to the ground with a flick of her wrist.

"Well, well. It looks like Dumbledore's favourite wants a taste too, Crucio!" she cried again, and James bit his lip against the pain that he expected. But it never came. Lily had managed to kick Bellatrix's legs out from underneath her (quite a feat, considering that she had just been hit with the cruciatus curse) and was now wrestling violently with her. James struggled to get over to his girlfriend to help her, but found himself once again thrown against a wall, with Lily next to him. They were pinned against the crumbling structure as if with invisible clamps. James looked at Lily; noting the sheer terror in her eyes, he managed to whisper "It'll be okay."

"You have done well, Bella, the mudblood and the auror's son. Lord Voldemort commends you," came a cold, high voice. James tore his eyes away from Lily's and stared into the dead eyes of the Dark Lord. He could feel Lily trembling next to him and reached ever-so-subtly for her hand. Gripping it tightly in his, he knew that he would do anything to protect her, and if that meant buying time until Dumbledore came, then so be it.

"So this is the mighty Dark Lord we've been hearing so much about," James said sarcastically, "How's it going, Voldy?" Behind Voldemort, Bellatrix looked positively deranged with indignation, which James simply smirked at. But Voldemort seemed greatly unconcerned, an evil smile curling up the corners of his lips.

"Courage and spirit. These are traits Lord Voldemort admires."

"Well it's a pity I don't give a Hippogriff what Mouldy Voldy thinks, then, isn't it?" James scoffed.

"You fancy yourself quite the funny man, don't you, Potter? And yet, I think, laughing on purpose. At the darkness."

"Is that supposed to scare me, oh dark one? Coz it's not working," James replied defiantly, holding Lily's hand even tighter.

"I need people like you, James. Pure-blooded, strong, intelligent and courageous. It is a pity you associate yourself with people like your little girlfriend, here," Voldemort stated coldly and with a flick of his wand Lily was unconscious, her hand limp in James'. James paled instantly.

"Don't hurt her," he commanded, trying desperately to keep the panic out of his voice.

"She will be your downfall, Potter. You could join my side - the right side - and fight for the purity of the sacred wizarding race. But instead you align yourself with filth like her," he slashed at Lily and a cut appeared on her chest, "And I see that you are not adequate."

"Then why are you still talking to me?" James asked angrily.

"I just wanted to know if you had any last words?"

"Okay. Leave Lily alone."

"You disappoint me, Potter. You, like Dumbledore, believe in love above all other things. But how can love save you or your precious mudblood now?"

"Just because you don't understand something, doesn't mean it isn't powerful or doesn't exist," James retorted, disregarding the fact that he was challenging the darkest wizard of all time, "That will be your undoing, Voldy. Mark my words," he smirked.

"I tire of your insolence. It is time to say goodbye, Potter." Voldemort raised his wand and James closed his eyes, grasping Lily's hand in his own. All James could see from behind his eyelids was a dull silvery light. He heard a sort of whooshing noise and a loud crack. There was some indistinguishable yelling (James was too busy preparing himself for death to really pay attention) and then James felt the invisible bonds binding him and Lily disappear and the pair of them fell to the ground. Lily began to stir, and James grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. She gripped onto him as if her life depended on it.

"Ahem," came a small noise from behind them. James whipped around (defenceless as his wand was still in his back pocket from when he had taken it from Bella) to see the concerned sparkling blue eyes of Professor Dumbledore looking down at him.

"What- what happened, sir?" James croaked, holding Lily tighter to him. She didn't seem to mind.

"Voldemort is gone. For now. But now we shall return to the castle. You and Miss Evans need medical attention and then some rest."

"Where are Sirius and Remus?" James asked hastily, remembering that he hadn't seen his friends since the duel.

"They were taken to the Hospital Wing in your absence. Against their will, might I add. But Poppy was adamant."

"So there were people here while Lily and I were duelling Bellatrix?"

"No, they were summoned by a very powerful spell used during battle. Unfortunately it failed to collect the two of you. But I needed to see Tom - Voldemort," he clarified upon seeing James' confused expression, "It's been well over-due."

"Professor, do you think we could go now?" Lily asked, speaking for the first time, "It's just, I'm not feeling great." She looked down briefly at the gash on her chest, gave a faint 'oh' and then fainted into James' arms. Dumbledore conjured two stretchers, "Come on, James, back to the castle."

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary Continued:  
**So I can't really remember all that much of what happened.

I remember when I saw James fighting Bellatrix my heart nearly leapt into my throat, I was so worried. She has quite a reputation. She was in seventh year last year and she was often the winner of illegal duels in hallways and whatnot. She's downright evil, that one. And, from what I can tell, she's in love with Voldemort (even though Sirius told us she married Rudolphus Lestrange a couple of months ago).

And then I saw Voldemort for the first time. It was frightening. Coming face to face with the man who has killed so many people, and orchestrated the deaths of so many loved ones. It's his fault Cat's father is dead. It's his fault James' mother and sister are gone. He is just the root of all evil and he needs to be stopped!

As soon as I leave Hogwarts I plan on helping the fight against Voldemort in anyway I can. No matter what it takes.

James was so strong and brave - I wish I had been more like him. He just stood up to Voldemort like he was a common Slytherin or something - laughing in his face and all. It's no wonder I always feel safer around him! I need to be stronger. Merlin knows I'm a strong person - heck! I've put up with the Marauders for seven years! I need to prove it. Next time I see Voldemort (because there will be a next time) I will make a point of standing up to him - defying him just as James did.

I'm so proud of him. I'm in awe, maybe.

He's in the bed next to me. I think he's asleep, but I can't be sure. Madam Pomfrey's drawn all the curtains shut around his bed so I can't see. I wonder if he's thinking about what happened.

I'm thinking about what Bella said: 'Is the ickle mudblood scared? Has the little red head been having nightmares? When you're all alone and nobody to save you? The Dark Lord has plans for you, and your boyfriend and your family…'

What was she talking about?

I don't want to let her get to me - that's what she would want - but she's close to Voldemort, she would know…

But how could she possibly know about the nightmares - clearly that's just a lucky guess. They have been recurring, though. That one I had on Halloween has come back at least seven times over the past three months. It's awful. I always wake up horrid and sweaty and usually crying. And most time James is outside my door wanting to know if I'm okay. I don't want to worry him with this stuff, but I'm thinking now maybe I should tell him. Just so he knows. Not because I think they mean anything. Dreams are just dreams, right?

* * *

Dear Dad,

Well, I finally Lily Evans to go out with me. I know, I know, you never thought it would happen, but finally she's given in to the old Potter charm.

In other news, while we were on our first date in Hogsmeade, there was an attack made by the Death Eaters and Lily and I were threatened by Voldemort himself. You've probably heard the details in _The Prophet_ or about me and Lils from Dumbledore, but I thought you might like to hear it from your son too. And you would be proud. I kept him talking, just like you are always telling me to do when without a wand. And I even rubbed him the wrong way. Imagine - your son sassing the darkest wizard of all time. I chuckle just thinking about it. The only thing is, I'm worried that Voldemort might bear some sort of personal grudge now. He already took mum and Alex, please be careful - I don't want him to get you too.

You must be flat out at the Ministry with all the attacks these day - it's frightening that they are happening in broad daylight, now - but when you have a spare minute, come visit me at the castle or I'll come visit you. I want to see you again, Dad, it's been ages. And I want you to meet Lily, too. She's really special. But you know that. How could you not, after seven years of me talking about her!

Oh, before I forget, I think I can name some of the Death Eaters that attacked us on the weekend. I won't put it into a letter in case it's intercepted (although, if that's the case, I probably shouldn't have written all that other stuff), I'll just tell you when next I see you.

I hope you're alright, Dad, please write back soon.

Lots of love,

Your very brave son,

James

* * *

Harry's mind reeled from everything he'd just read. His mother and father's first date. Their duel with Bellatrix. His father's courage in the face of Voldemort. He simply sat and stared at the documents until he heard a creaking on the floorboards behind him. He whipped around, drawing out his wand - thanks to what he'd just been reading, he was more than a little on edge. He relaxed immediately when he saw that it was Ginny standing behind him.

"I got your owl," she said quietly, sitting down next to him, "So these are their notes?"

"Yeah. Mum and Dad's diaries and stuff. And some of Sirius and Remus' stuff too."

"May I?" Ginny asked, gesturing to the letter Harry was holding loosely in his hand. He nodded vacantly. Ginny skimmed the letter. "Oh," she said in that same quiet tone, wrapping her arm around Harry. She leant her head on his shoulder and he leant his chin on top of her head. It was good to have someone around to comfort you, Harry thought. His mum and his dad had had one another - even when they were faced with Voldemort and his Death Eater minions, they were strong because they had each other. _And that's how I feel about Ginny_, Harry thought. And it was then that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

They sat comfortably in that position for a while, until Harry's curiosity got the better of him and he continued reading, while Ginny offered to go and get something for them to eat.

* * *

"James? Are you awake?" Lily whispered across the Hospital Wing. It was probably two or three am on the Sunday morning after the attack. A head covered in untidy black hair poked it's way through a gap in the curtains and peered blearily at her.

"Lils?" came James' confused voice.

"Oh good, you're awake."

"I am now," he grumbled slightly.

"Sorry! But can we… talk?" she asked tentatively.

"Sure," he yawned, "Come on over." Lily got up and quietly crept over to James' bed. Hiding behind the curtains and a very strong sound-barrier charm, Lily began to speak.

"I just wanted to let you know that in spite of the Death Eaters and Voldemort and this ruddy great gash I have across my chest, I still had a really good time on our date," she said earnestly.

"Seriously?"

"Well, up until the attack in any case. I just thought you should kn-" but she was cut off as James' lips came down upon hers once more. The kiss was soft and caring, as both of them were still fairly sore from the days' events, but (as cliché as it sounds) they found comfort in one another's arms.

"And another thing," Lily said after the kiss, "I have been having those dreams again." James looked at her in concern.

"Like the one you had on Halloween?" he asked. She nodded, breaking eye contact.

"And now it's worse that ever because, and I don't want to sound like I'm jumping the gun or anything here, but we're a couple now. So it's not completely unrealistic that we could be together…" she trailed off, blushing.

"Lils, I seriously doubt that we are going to be married with kids at any point in the near future," James said soothingly, "A couple of years, sure it's a possibility, but that's ages away. Besides, you're the only one having these freaky dreams. If it were both of us, surely it'd mean something, but at the moment it's just you. And I know that's awful, but try not to worry." Lily nodded.

"And maybe we could tell Dumbledore later, or something?" she nodded again.

"James, I just wanted you to know how amazing you are," she said, looking up into his eyes with such a sincerity that James could feel his heart bursting.

"You know, a year ago you wouldn't have said that for fear of inflating my over-large ego," he joked. Lily laughed lightly, "Yeah, well, there are a lot of things that were different this time last year." They both sighed sadly at the implications of what Lily had said.

"But seriously, James. You were so brave today and I just wanted you to know how much I admire you."

"Thank you, Lily. You have no idea how much that means to me coming from you. And I admire you too, more than anyone except maybe my Dad or Dumbledore, but if I tried to explain why, we might be here for a while. And we should probably get some rest," he said honestly. Lily smiled.

"Do you think Madam Pomfrey would mind if I stayed on your bed instead?" she grinned.

"Of course. But that's no reason not to," James grinned, wriggling over so that there was room for Lily.

"And James?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"Just coz we're a couple now…"

"Yeeeesss?"

"Doesn't mean you can make a move on me while we're sleeping, got it?"

"Yes Ma'am"

"Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Lily. Sweet dreams."

* * *

AN - there you have it! please review. I really tried my best to capture voldemort and i really hope i did him justice. why he would be in hogsmead escapes me, perhaps it's to check on his most faithful servant who failed to return with the others - that's my way of thinking, in any case. i also hope the dream thing isn't too outlandish - i think it adds to the story somewhat. but that could just be me  
please review :)

Coming up: Lily's birthday and Petunia's wedding. can't wait for that one :) happy fanficcing!!


	30. The Fallout

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or the characters or anything. but the time is drawing ever closer...

AN - This is not my favourite chapter by a long shot. it's long and lacking in fluff somewhat. it's still worth a read for plot-furthering purposes but it's not my favourite so don't be disappointed please. and yes, i am trying to lower expectations so it's better than what you were anticipating... i think i have an inferiority complex or something strange.  
anyway, enough of my rambling. this chapter is mostly about the aftermath of the attack and how the characters deal with it. i hope you enjoy :) and review if you have a moment? cheers!

* * *

**Chapter 29 - The Fallout:**

Wizarding World Reels in Response to Hogsmeade Havoc!  
_Another blow to the wizarding world was dealt yesterday when several unnamed Death Eaters converged upon the small all-magical community of Hogsmeade, destroying the peace and demolishing several buildings. The attack took place at approximately three in the afternoon, during a school trip from local Hogwarts witches and wizards, who had been given leave to spend the day in the small town. _

_Thankfully, none of the children were harmed due to the fast thinking of their Head Boy and Girl in cooperation with their prefects and some Hogsmeade villagers (see page three for full details). _

_However, ten were left dead following counter-attacks on the Death Eaters. It is rumoured that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named apparated into the village towards the end of the attack to retrieve his straggling followers, but there is no evidence to prove either way. _

_The entire community is, of course, shaken by this unexpected turn of events. That there should be an attack in a community such as Hogsmeade - one of the safest places in Europe - is frightening enough. The fact that these Death Eaters have now moved into attacking in broad daylight is even more cause for concern. _

_The Minister has expressed his sympathies for the families of those killed in the attack and has voiced his concern for the magical community - "We, at the Ministry, urge everyone to stay together during these dark times. There __is__ safety in numbers. Also, anyone with any information about Saturday's attack or about any known or suspected Death Eaters is strongly advised to contact the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. It is up to you to help protect the lives of yourself and those around you."_

_Enquires will be made into the attacks, with several of the Ministry's leading aurors being posted around Hogsmeade and neighbouring school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for the protection of the young witches and wizards who are, after all, our future. _

* * *

Remus turned the page of Sunday's_ Prophet_ and sighed deeply. He was still fatigued from the full moon of the Friday past, but now had the added aches and pains of a vicious duel to contend with. It was now mid-week, and he was more than ready to escape the starched white oppression of the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey had kept them all there far longer than necessary (in Remus' opinion) and was now, at long last, ready to release them. Remus was glad because he had grown tired of the endless supply of sleeping potion that the fussy young nurse kept forcing down his (and everyone else's) throat. He got up and with the stealth and agility of a wolf, slipped into his robes and padded out of the Hospital Wing. He didn't know what he was going to do now, though. Sirius and James were both still in a potion-induced coma back in the hospital wing, separated by a strong metal partition from the girls (as a result of Poppy finding Lily and James in the same bed).

_Peter!_ Remus thought suddenly, _Of course, why didn't I think of him before?_

As Remus wandered back to the Marauder's dormitory, he wondered if Peter had come to visit them at all. Mind you, he had been rather busy lately, what with all the letters from his sick mother…

"I'm so ready to leave this place it's not even funny," Cat whispered loudly as she glared at the white, white ceiling.

"You do realise we've missed _three whole days_ of _NEWT_ level schooling?" Lily scowled in response. Honestly, it was wasteful to let a small run in with the Dark Lord prevent you from making the most of your studies.

"It'd be good if we hadn't had to waste it _here_," Anna grumbled, "I mean, I haven't even come close to telling Remus about Triscombe yet. Either he's asleep or I'm asleep or everyone else is listening."

"Yeah but everyone else already knows," Cat said rudely.

"There's no need to remind me," Anna sniffed.

"Well, you're making a big deal out of nothing," Cat replied, "I mean, it's not like it's anything important."

"What the hell do you mean 'nothing important'?! It goddamn is important," Anna said, her voice just below a yell.

"Guys!" Lily interjected, holding up her hands, "We're in an infirmary, do you think you could keep down the yelling?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm leaving anyway," Anna said, pointing her wand so that she was in clean clothes. "I'll see you later," she said stiffly before striding out of the room, her dignity only wavering once as she ducked suddenly to avoid Pomfrey's window.

She managed to catch-up with Remus half an hour later. She finally told him the truth about Edmond Triscombe, to which Remus responded by walking out of the room and not talking to her. A stony silence had ensued.

"Who does she think she is?" Cat exclaimed, "I mean, it's just a stupid boyfriend."

"Hey, don't go bad-mouthing boyfriends, Jones, or you might not have one later," came Sirius' joking voice from the other side of the petition - it seemed as though everyone's potions were wearing off at the same time.

"Oh, shut-up Black!" Cat said huffily. On the other side of the barrier Sirius gave James a questioning look, to which James shrugged confusedly.

"Cat, are you okay?" Lily asked gently, sitting up and staring at her agitated friend.

"What do you think, Lily?"

"Is it about your Dad?" Lily asked softly.

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM!" Cat yelled, tears suddenly filling her eyes. She stood up and ran from the wing, regardless of the fact that she was still in hospital robes.

"Cat, wait!" Lily called out, but she was still a bit weak from her potion and couldn't force herself out of bed. She removed the barrier between herself and the remaining Marauders with a swish of her wand.

"You guys heard all that, huh?"

"Yeah. Listen, Evans, don't worry, she'll be okay. If you two will excuse me, though, I'm gonna go find her," Sirius said, more seriously than usual.

"Are you sure that's a good idea, mate? She was pretty worked up," James pointed out.

"Yeah, but she needs someone to talk to."

"Good luck," Lily offered miserably. Both her friends were unhappy and there was nothing she could do about it. Not to mention it was her birthday in two days. It wasn't that Lily didn't like birthdays - no, not at all - it was more the fact that she didn't want this particular birthday to arrive. She would come of age and would be a responsible adult witch. Lily did not, at this point in time, feel much like being independent or reliable or anything remotely adult-ish. In fact, she just wanted to be taken care of like a child with a head cold. Wallowing, as she was, in her own thoughts, she did not notice that Sirius had left already. Nor did she notice James getting out of bed until she felt another warm body lower itself next to hers. James slipped an arm around her shoulders and she leaned comfortably on his chest. They sat together, as they were wont to do, for quite some time, until James' stomach grumbled loudly. Lily giggled.

"Maybe we should go get some lunch?" she suggested.

"My stomach thinks that's a good idea," James replied sleepily, sort of shuffling his way over to the edge of the bed before plonking to the ground.

"Ouch."

"You nitwit, get up," Lily reproved with a grin, extending her hand to him. He gratefully accepted, rising to a standing position before sweeping her off the bed into his arms, spinning her around once, and then placing her down next to him.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked, clutching onto his arm for the sudden dizziness she felt.

"Sorry, couldn't resist," he grinned, reaching out to tuck some of Lily's fiery red hair behind her ear, "Plus, now you're up, I can do this." He inclined his head slightly and gave her a soft peck on the lips.

"Well, I suppose it was worth it, then," she smiled, "Come on, let's go. I've had enough of this place. Honestly, I don't know how you and Sirius can put up with it so often."

"Well, when it comes down to games of exploding snap in a blindingly white room, versus listening to lectures in a stiflingly boring class room it's pretty obvious which one wins," he grinned again. She shrugged, "How you ever got to be Head Boy, I'll never know." James chuckled at that as they walked down the corridor hand in hand. "I personally think Dumbledore was trying to set us up."

"Why would he do a thing like that?" Lily asked, interested in James' conspiracy theory for, although he had risen to the challenge, James had never really been the boy she would've backed as Head Boy. Trouble-maker in Chief, perhaps, but not Head Boy.

"He knows everything, that man does. And let's face it, Lils, everyone knows how I feel about you." She blushed slightly at this rather complimentary statement.

"Anyway," she said, trying to change the subject, "Did you read in that issue of _The Prophet_ about the aurors guarding Hogwarts?"

"Yeah, and I'll wager as soon as word gets out we've left the Hospital Wing, they will want some sort of interview with us or something."

"I really don't want to talk about what happened," Lily said, looking mildly panicked.

"Don't worry, I can do all the talking if you want. Besides, it's only so they can help stop the attacks. We'll be helping them out... Saving lives, if you will," he elaborated.

"I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about having my life threatened by Voldemort to absolute strangers, though. I haven't even told my parents, or Cat or Anna."

"It's okay, Lily, they can't make you talk if you don't want to. I'm going to try, though. I reckon we can name a couple of the Death Eaters, and surely that'll do some good."

"Look, James," Lily said, stopping walking and turning to face him, "I know it's for the greater good, and I know I shouldn't be scared or cowardly or whatever, but if you give out those names and they find out that it was you, you'll be on their hit list." Lily's eyes were wide with concern and as James looked down into them, he could sense Lily's agitation. "I know, I know, Gryffindor courage and all that," she continued, "But I just don't want to see you get hurt. I can't let you get hurt." James just wrapped his arms around her for the umpteenth time that day. Lily's insecurities were not going to disappear any time soon (especially with the recurring dream about their imminent deaths) and he didn't want to push the matter, but he knew that in spite of Lily's apprehension, he would be giving details of the attack to the Ministry. He knew it was a small act that could land him in serious trouble with Voldemort's lot but it was a risk he was willing to take.

* * *

Sirius found Cat on the North Tower. It was a little after midday - she had missed lunch; Sirius had found her on the map and decided to take her some sandwiches, figuring that if she really didn't want the company she could send him away.

"Hey," he said softly, "You hungry?"

Cat turned to look at him, her blotchy cheeks streaked with tear tracks, her eyes red and puffy. Even when she was crying, she looked beautiful to Sirius (although when he caught himself thinking this, Sirius resolved to become less sappy, horrified as he was at his 'liberated' emotions). She nodded slightly, and Sirius crossed the parapet to her, settling down on the cold stone floor and indicating that she should do the same. After casting a wordless spell over the area to act as a sort of heater, he pulled out the sandwiches and they sat in a semi-awkward silence munching on them. When they finished, Sirius asked the question he had been dying to ask since that morning.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Are you sure, coz sometimes it's better if-"

"NO! Sirius, I do not want to talk about it. About him. Okay?"  
There was a short pause during which Sirius considered his next move - it was risky, considering Cat was in such a state, but he knew what was best for her. Besides, she wasn't the only one with problems.

"Look, Cat, I can't even begin to imagine what it was like when you lost your father, but-"

"No, you can't, Black. So stop trying to make it better. Stop trying to pretend you know how I feel, because you don't."

"I didn't loose my parents the same way you lost your dad," Sirius began, a little angrily. He was aware that Cat had lost her father, but he also suffering a loss that no-one seemed to understand.

"Your parents are still alive, how can you even-"

"No, my parents are dead to me, Cat. They abandoned me! And now they're supporting these, these people who think that killing is a good way to pass time. These people who think muggle baiting is fun. These bloody people who hurt innocents like your father and your uncle. And my family support that. And it makes me sick to my stomach - absolutely sick! - to think that I am related to that. I can hardly breath knowing that there is a possibility that my family were involved in that attack back in November. I am sorry that your father's dead, I truly am. But at least he died to protect your family. You know that he died caring about you. My family wouldn't care if I jumped off this tower right now. Wouldn't even blink. Hell, they'd probably throw a party in celebration of my passing."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why am I telling you this? Because you need to toughen up," he stated bluntly. She looked up at him with slightly angry tears in her eyes as he continued. "It's changing out there. There are more and more attacks each day. And you can't let them get to you, despite your personal experiences and feelings. If you do, you're letting them win. And if you let them win then your dad died for nothing, didn't he?" Cat was silent. Sirius was aware that he was being harsh, but he needed for Cat to get better. The entire group had obviously noticed a change in her since November, however slight the change may've been, but the most recent attack had brought to the surface all her anguish, and Sirius did not want her to become consumed by it. He did not want her to shut everyone out, as she had done initially, because she would need them to help her through. But Cat, touched though she was at Sirius' concern for her well-being, was annoyed that Sirius had the right to compare his still living family to her broken one.

"How can you even begin to think that it's the same," she croaked, eyes flashing.

"I don't, because it isn't. I just need you to understand that this war affects everyone and we need each other to get through it. Don't shut me out, Cat," he pleaded. There was a momentary silence again, during which Cat seemed to consider Sirius' words; she leant on his shoulder.

"I don't want to shut you out."

"Okay." There was another pause.

"Sirius, just coz you don't live with your family, doesn't mean they don't care for you."

"Clearly you've never met my family," he replied dryly.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I care for you," she tried.

"That's definitely a plus," he smiled, "Now let's go. I think you and Anna need to have a little chat."

"You, Sirius Black, are entirely too good for me," she said through a watery smile.

"You've already forgotten that my family might've been involved with You-Know-Who, haven't you?"

"No. That's awful, Sirius, but you're not like your family. I'm not angry at _you_. I- I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied, relief flooding through him. Now they were both completely honest with one another and it felt good. And Cat was on the road to recovery, as far as he could tell, so that was another thing to be thankful for. He wondered for a minute about her sudden mood swings but decided that it was not a cause for concern. _She is a teenage girl, after all._

* * *

Later that night, the assorted Gryffindors - all of whom had been 'too ill' to attend their classes after escaping the hospital wing - were in a strange state of affairs. Remus had not been seen all day. After searching high and low for Peter, to no avail, he had retired to the library, vowing to catch up on his homework. All he'd managed to achieve, however, were several fairly amateurish drawings of Anna and a faceless boy. Lily and James had each gone to their separate rooms to catch up on homework, but Lily was preoccupied with her worries for Cat and Anna and was therefore unable to concentrate, and James was trying to decide just what to tell the ministry. Cat and Sirius had spent the afternoon talking and laughing, as if trying to forget that the attacks had ever happened. Meanwhile, Anna had spent the entire day in her dormitory, alternately crying her eyes out and formulating a plan to get Remus back.

It was at dinner time that they all sat together, and there was a particularly awkward silence. The whole hall was, of course, buzzing with gossip as the six 'Hogsmeade Heroes' had finally emerged from the hospital wing. However, the group did not know what to discuss. They hadn't talked about the attack properly (all having been under sleeping potions at different times of the day. They had no real desire to discuss it publicly, but James decided that he couldn't handle the silence any more, so he cast the _muffliato_ spell over the surrounding area and began to talk.

"Guys," he began, "Has anyone seen Peter lately?"

"No. Haven't seen him in ages," Sirius said with a frown, "What about you, Moony?"

"I checked the map before - couldn't find him anywhere."

"He must be here somewhere, though," Lily said, "I mean, it's not like he never came back from Hogsmeade or something. The teachers would've noticed." And there it was. Someone had mentioned Hogsmeade and now the floodgates of discussion were open.

"Where were you guys when it happened?" Cat asked.

"Three Broomsticks," James replied, "And you?"

"We were all walking down together-"

"We were gonna spy on you, sorry."

"Sirius!"

"What they deserve to know these things. How did the date go, by the way?"

"Oh, fabulous, Sirius. Right up until we were attacked by Death Eaters and You-Know-Who," Lily said sarcastically before she could help it.

"What?" cried Anna and Cat.

"You were attacked by Voldemort?" Sirius demanded, eyes wide.

"Whoops," Lily muttered, as James slipped his arm over her shoulder.

"Yes, Pads. We were duelling your lovely cousin-"

"Bella was there?" he asked darkly, "Why that absolute-"

"Anyway, we petrified her and walked off. But Voldemort got to us before we could escape," Lily said.

"What did he do?" Remus asked, speaking up for the first time, his face pale. With a quick glance at Lily, James continued.

"He sort of held us in place against the wall. He was threatening us and taunting us. Saying stuff about our families and, and-" he swallowed, "Anyway, Lily was unconscious and he was about to, you know. Then Dumbledore came and saved the day." He chanced another glance at Lily; there was a solitary tear running down her cheek, and she sniffed loudly.

"But what happened to you guys? The last I saw, you were all busy duelling."

"And when we came back out, everyone was gone," Lily added.

"Oh, well, we were all duelling - and doing quite well, might I add," Sirius said, "When Cat got hit by a stunner. I turned to help, and my guy got away,"

"Sorry," Cat said.

"Not your fault. Anyway, after that we were just having a bad run. I mean, four teenagers on a couple of trained killers isn't really fair. They apparated but before they left, one shot a killing curse at us. I don't know what happened. I thought I was going to die. But then we were flying back to the castle and the curse had missed."

"That must've been the summoning charm Dumbledore was talking about," Lily asserted.

"Good old Albus. Always there to save the day," Sirius grinned, "Well, now that we've gotten that awkward discussion out of the way, let's get back to the most important thing. Food!" The others murmured their assent and tucked in. But not everything was good and well in the group. Anna and Remus weren't speaking, and Lily was sure that both of them were more upset than they were letting on. She made a mental note to ask Remus about it on their patrol duty that night.

* * *

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Lily asked Remus when they were walking down the seventh floor corridor.

"No," he replied flatly.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Come on, Remus, I know you better than that. You need to talk and the Marauders don't discuss this sort of thing."

"I don't want to talk about it, Lily. Just drop it."

"Do you love her?"

"Wh-what?" he spluttered.

"Do you love her?" she replied slowly.

"That's a ridiculous question."

"Then answer it."

"How could I love her after what she did?" he demanded angrily, avoiding Lily's eyes.

"What about before? Did you love her then?" Remus sighed. It seemed to convey his tiredness, his hurt, his anger and his resignation all at once.

"I liked her a lot, Lily. But now-"

"Now things are different?" she prompted.

"Yes. They bloody well are different," he stated hotly, before, "HOW COULD SHE?"

"I-"

"He's a Slytherin! He's prejudiced and horrible and wrong for her! I just don't…how could she do it!?"

"She doesn't even know."

"Then she's a fool."

"No she's not, Remus, don't say that. She was just confused."

"Confused? Confused! Lily, confused is not knowing how to do a spell in charms. Anna is not confused, she's just plain heartless."

"I'm going to let that one slide, considering you're my friend. But Remus, you have to understand that she wasn't even with you when it happened. She didn't cheat on you or anything."

"But she didn't tell me about him, Lily! She knew that I wouldn't like to hear it so she didn't tell me. The only reason she did tell me was because she knew it'd get out sooner rather than later."

"Doesn't that show compassion for you feelings?"

"No, it shows that there is a definite lack of trust in our relationship. How can you have a relationship without trust?"

"Remus, you do rea-"

"Yes! I know! I haven't told her my secret either. She didn't tell me and I haven't told her. What does that say about our relationship? We're as bad as each other. There's no trust!"

"You should tell her."

"And then she- I'm sorry, what?"

"You should tell her about your lycanthropy."

"Lily, are you insane? Should I be sending you to St Mungo's for post traumatic stress induced insanity?"

"Listen, Lupin, I can understand why you're upset at Anna, I really can. But don't you think you're being just a touch hypocritical, here?" Remus made to interrupt her, but she held up her hand.

"I think that part of the reason you're so upset and angry at Anna is because you're feeling guilty. So just tell her the truth."

"But Lily, I- I can't," Remus said quietly, looking at the floor.

"Why not?" she asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What if she hates me?"

"She could never hate you."

"But I'm a monster. And I've treated her terribly. She won't accept what I am."

"You don't give her enough credit. Just talk to her."

"I'm… scared."

"Do you love her?" There was a pause.

"Yes."

"Then tell her. Go now. I'll finish up on my own."

"But, Lils-"

"Go! Just tell her what you told me. It'll be okay," she smiled, hoping that she was right. Remus walked slowly away, hands dug deep into his pockets.

"Anna?" he called up the staircase to the Girls' Dormitories, "Anna!"  
Cat poked her head out of their door and wandered down a little way to see what was going on.

"Remus, what are you doing?" she hissed, "It's eleven thirty!"

"I need to speak to Anna," he said urgently, "Can you send her down, please?"

"Okay," Cat obliged with raised eyebrow, "Be right back." A few minutes later, Remus was sitting on the couch facing the fire in the empty common room when Anna entered the room, puffy eyed and in her lavender pyjamas. Remus couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. _It's a pity she won't want to know me after I tell her this,_ he thought sadly.

"Anna-" he began but was cut off as the blonde came towards him, talking at top speed.

"Remus, I'm so, so sorry about Edmond. I don't know what I was thinking. And the only reason I didn't tell you was because I wanted you to like me so much and I thought this might change your mind. And I didn't want you to think I was easy because I wanted your respect. You're so clever, Remus, and I look up to you so much. You're funny and beautiful and honest and I fell for you. I don't know when it happened or why I didn't notice it before. But the thing is, I am so sorry for what I did and for not telling you. I mean, what's a relationship without trust? I need to gain your trust again. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. Because I need you back, Remus. Because, I… well, I think I love you." Remus just sat there, staring into those blue eyes, jaw agape. And then his eyes filled with tears as he realised what must come next.

"I'm a werewolf."  
Anna's eyes clouded with confusion.

"Sorry, what?"

"I'm a werewolf, Anna."

"Remus, just because I didn't tell you everything, there's no need to tell me blatant lies to make me feel bad. I just told you I loved you, for Merlin's sake!" she cried angrily.

"It's not a lie. I am a werewolf, Anna. I was bitten when I was a boy and I've been one ever since."

"No, no, no, no, no," she muttered, shaking her head, "You're lying to me," she said in a voice that clearly believed otherwise, shaking as it was with fear. Remus just stared at her, unflinchingly. She got up and walked numbly up the stairs to her dormitory. _That could've gone better._

* * *

Lily's Occlumency Diary

I wonder how Remus went telling Anna about his problem. I hope it was okay. That girl's my friend, and Lord knows I love her, but she doesn't have her moments of insensitivity. I'm really hoping that she doesn't mistreat Remus. He's faced enough prejudice in his life - he doesn't need it from the girl he loves.

Speaking of love, I have a question. I mean, surely there are more important things I should be considering at the moment, like what to tell the Ministry about the attack, or what to do with my future, but love is on my mind at the moment.

My question is this: what is the difference between loving someone and being in love with them? Is there a difference? I tried my muggle dictionary but it didn't help.

Why am I asking such things, you may well wonder. Why am I talking to my diary like it can hear me, you may also be wondering.

Well, since the attack, I've been doing a lot of thinking about it - obviously! I mean, it was a major trauma. But it forced me to reassess certain things in my life.

Remember how I was saying I felt safe around James? And how I sort of really liked him? Well, I think that it might sort of be love? But it's weird. Because I love my family and I love my friends. But the way I love James is different. I don't mean the physical stuff, either (although that sort of comes into it… I can't believe I just wrote that!) but… I don't know! It's just, I can't imagine my life without him in it. It will be so strange after Hogwarts, waking up every morning and not seeing him at breakfast or during classes and whatnot. We've barely been dating very long, but he's always been there. Always. And I don't like the thought of him not being there. And that's what scared me about the attacks most of all. When Voldemort had us, pinned up against that wall, and suddenly I was unconscious, I didn't know what had happened to James til I woke up. And that scared me more than anything.

That's why I think I like him more than crush like.

I think I love him. No wait, I _know_ I love him.

I think that I'm in love with him, too. I'm almost certain.

But enough about that.

James is going to talk to a ministry official today. About what happened. I don't think I'm ready yet. But you never know. I wonder what he's going to say. Oh, damn, I'm late for potions. Lucky Potter gets to skip it. But no matter, I'm Slughorn's favourite. Bad Lily - you shouldn't say things like that. Nor should you write down what the voices in your head are saying. Damn it!

…

In Potions class. I'm so bored it's not even funny. We have a substitute today - apparently Slughorn had one too many crystallised pineapple pieces at his last Slug-Club party and isn't feeling up to teaching.

This is such a waste of my time.

Maybe I should try and find James.

In fact, maybe I should try and talk to the auror who's apparently in the castle. I really should. I've been thinking about it a lot (since there's not much else to do in this class) and I really think it's the right thing to do. Especially if it stops all this terribleness from happening.

Right, that's it. I'm going to Dumbledore's office. He'll know who I can talk to.

* * *

"Come in, Mister Potter," said a voice from the other side of the thick oak door to Dumbledore's office. James pushed open the door with a certain amount of trepidation.

"Dad?" he asked with a grin, rushing into the room. His father embraced him in a tight hug, before holding him at arms length and giving him the once over.

"I swear you've grown at least an inch since I saw you last."

"No, Dad, you're just shrinking," James quipped with a grin, throwing himself down into one of the comfy chintz armchairs that Dumbledore had provided.

"Dumbledore didn't say that you were going to be doing the report of the attack," he noted.

"Well, I had to beg Crouch to let me come. He was worried that I might get emotionally involved, but then I reminded him that I am the best auror he's got. Plus, I wanted it to be a surprise."

"How come I haven't seen you about the castle?"

"Well, you were in the hospital wing, son. Also, I was taking some statements from the residents of Hogsmeade, so I haven't been here that long."

"Who else is protecting the area?"

"John, Artemis, Lucy and Ben," his father replied, "But enough chit-chat, I have a job to do. Want to give me a bit more detail than in your letter?"

"Okay," James replied, and with that he launched into his story…

"And then he said 'it's time to say goodbye, Potter' and then Dumbledore came and the rest is history," he concluded.

"You know what, I don't think I've ever been so proud of you as I am now, James," his father beamed. James grinned back.

"I've missed you, dad."

"I've missed you too, James. Now that the official stuff's over, tell me all about this Lily." James' grin got even wider.

"She's the best, Dad. You know that she's Head Girl, muggle-born, really good at charms and potions. Really funny, beautiful, intelligent, kind-"

"I get the picture, James," his father chuckled, "You really like this girl, don't you?"

"I _love_ her," James said looking wistful."Love, ey? Not too young, then?"

"How old were you when you met mum and decided you wanted to spend forever and a day with her?" James asked.

"Okay, point taken. So this Lily's the one, then?"

"Yeah," James nodded, "She's the one."

"Perhaps I'd better meet her then."

"I don't know, dad, she doesn't really want to talk to the ministry about what happened."

"I meant meet her as your dad, not as David Harold Potter, Ministry Auror Extraordinaire."

"Promise you won't ask her any awkward questions?"

"Cross my heart," David grinned, looking scarily like his son.

James crossed to the door, prepared to go and find Lily but, to his complete and utter surprise, found her standing on their other side of the door.

"James?"

"Lily? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I came to find Dumbledore. You?"

"The ministry interviews are being conducted in here."

"Oh good. I've decided to talk about it."

"Really?" James asked in surprise, "I thought you were dead against it?"

"Not really, just a bit scared, you know? But I've decided it's something I need to do. Alone. Is that okay?" "Sure thing, Lils," he replied with a smile. He escorted her into the room mouthing frantically at his father 'Don't tell her you're my dad!'

'Okay' David mouthed back with a wink, while Lily sat herself down in an armchair, avoiding eye contact. James shut the door behind him with a snap. He knew it was sneaky to not tell Lily she was talking to his father, but was curious to see what would happen.

"You must be Miss Evans," David said with a kindly smile, "Pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you sir," Lily replied, looking up into two very familiar looking eyes and shaking his hand.

"If you would like to tell me, in your own words, what happened last Saturday I would be very much obliged."

"Okay. Well James and I were in the Three Broomsticks having lunch and we heard a noise outside. The whole building shook and we could see something happening out on the street through the door. So I took James' hand and we ran out the back way through the bathroom. Then we took a side street to the Main Street and we saw a group of about six Death Eaters firing spells at the buildings and people."

"Are you sure there were six of them?"

"Pretty sure, yes."

"And how did you identify them as Death Eaters?"

"They were wearing long black cloaks and masks. Also they were causing havoc, which I thought was a pretty good indicator, and I'm pretty sure one of them shoot the Dark Mark into the sky."

"What was the incantation?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Please answer the question, Lily."

"_Morsmordre_, I think."

"Very well, continue."

"Then we, James and I, were duelling some of them. And I was screaming at the remaining students to get back to the castle. Then someone put the _Silencio_ curse on me and yelled 'stay out of this, mudblood'-"

"Those words exactly?"

"Yes."

"Then they knew who you were. Did the voice sound familiar?"

"Yes, but I couldn't place it. Anyway, this Death Eater was about to use the torture curse on me, when Sirius Black comes out of nowhere and disarms them."

"Where was James at this point?"

"I didn't know at the time. I looked around to see that my friends, Sirius, Remus Lupin, Catherine Jones and Anna Brown were all there duelling as well, and that James was gone. I went looking for him and found him duelling Bellatrix Lestrange around the corner of a building - just out of sight of the others."

"I know what happened next, Lily. You need not give me the details." But Lily continued, seemingly unaware of what David had said.

"The most frightening part of the whole attack was obviously when Voldemort was there. When he threatened James and I. But when I saw James just that little bit worried, I was more scared than I've ever been in my life."

"Because James was frightened?"

"No, because I was worried about him. But I don't suppose you really needed to know that."

"Every little bit helps, no matter how irrelevant."

"I'm sure it does. Besides, I suppose it helps to know what your son's girlfriend thinks of him, doesn't it?" she smiled shrewdly.

"James was right, you are intelligent. David Harold Potter, at your service. How did you know?"

"Well aside from the eyes and the - no offence, sir - messy hair, he sounds just like you when he puts on his mature and responsible voice," she said with a smile. David chuckled.

"He's got a keeper," he mumbled and Lily blushed, "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Depends what it is?" Lily said.

"Oh, good answer," David grinned, "Now, here's the question: what's your favourite dessert?"

"Err, chocolate cake. Why?"

"Just doing the background research for my son. Father's duty, you know," he winked and Lily laughed.

"If you say so, sir. Anything else?"

"Nope, but if I could just get your signature here to make your statement official," he handed her the parchment, "thank you. James?" he yelled.

"Yes," the mop of messy black hair poked its way around the door.

"Your girlfriend is rather lovely."

"Dad, you weren't supposed to tell her," James grinned with mock exasperation in his voice.

"Potter, you twat, I guessed," Lily grinned.

"I'm so proud," he wiped at a fake tear, and she slapped him playfully on the arm.

"Ah, young love," David said with a grin.

"David, I'm not sure if James has told you or not, but next month he's accompanying me to my sister's wedding. Is there any chance you would like to come also?" Lily had no idea what had possessed her to ask such a question, but she knew that she actually quite liked the idea of her parents meeting James' father. He seemed like such a nice man.

"Sorry, Lily my dear, but I'm flat out with work at the moment," he replied with genuine regret.

"Right, sorry," she apologised.

"No, thank you, the sentiment was lovely. Perhaps at a later date I might have the opportunity of meeting your parents. Say, when you and James get engaged?"

"DAD!" James exclaimed, eyes wide, face turning rapidly scarlet. Lily giggled.

"Maybe. Until then, it was a pleasure meeting you," she shook his hand and made for the door. David just chuckled at the expression on his son's face and pulled him into a hug. Lily lingered in the doorway and tried not to eavesdrop.

"I can't believe you said that," James groaned.

"I don't think she minded that much," David whispered back.

"You think?"

"Oh, I'm positive. And I'm sure 'the one' will appreciate it when the time comes."

"Good, 'cause I want it to be surprise."

"Are you serious, James?"

"No, I'm just James," he grinned.

"Good to know. Now, James, if for some reason, I don't see you again-"

"Don't speak like that, Dad, you're going to be fine," James said determinedly.

"But if I'm not," David continued, "I want you to know that I love you-"

"I know, and I love you too, Dad, but-"

"And I wish you all the best for your future with Lily-"

"Dad, you're not going anywhere!"

"Not yet, but if I do remember this: I love you and I always will."

"I love you too, Dad," James said in a choked voice, before releasing his dad from the hug and joining Lily by the door.

"Bye, Dad."

"Goodbye, James."

As soon as they were on the moving staircase, Lily felt it was safe to look at James.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, swiping a tear hastily from his cheek, "Yeah, I'm fine."

* * *

AN - Okay, so that was another filler/plot-thickener chapter. not my favourite coz in my opinion there was not enough fluff

now it's question time: will anna and remus fix things between them? where was peter (that's an easy one)? what will james do for lily's birthday (which was supposed to be in this chapter but never made it in)? and why is cat so mood swingy? (apart from the fact that her father died recently)??

there you have it! i hope it was okay. like i said, not my favourite chapter, but necessary for... future developments, shall we say (chuckles evilly to self lol)

also thanks to all you fabulous darlings who review! your reviews absolutely make my day and it really lifts my sad, oppressed year 12 spirit to see them in my inbox so thank you so much! happy fanficcing :)

Next chapter: Lily's birthday and more fluff and note passing, hooray! i miss the notes :(  
maybe some harry/ginny as well..? let me know what you think :) :P


	31. The P Word

**Disclaimer:** No, I'm not JK - i had you going though, didn't I? ah, me, i think i'm funny. to cut a long story short, i do not own harry potter :(

AN - Well, this is a long chapter. Bits of it were really fun to write. others were downright difficult. It was hard to capture the appropriate emotions in this chapter (see my end authors note for details) but im moderately happy with the outcome anyway.  
the focus is mainly on Cat and Sirius, but there's a sizeable helping of lj in there to make it lovely  
enjoy! :)

* * *

**Chapter 30 - The P Word**

By the following morning, David Potter had returned to his work and the ministry interviews were completed. Several aurors were still stationed around the castle and neighbouring village just in case of further Death Eater action. The mood in the castle was a strange combination of anxiety and stir-craziness. Everyone seemed to be that bit on edge, but none more so than Cat. Ever since leaving the hospital wing she had been irritable and grumpy. Neither Anna nor Lily could pinpoint the moment when Cat suddenly got a chip on her shoulder, but they both just put it down to stress and let it be for a while. That is, until, their friend missed her morning classes because of a 'tummy bug'. Lily suspected that this 'tummy bug' was probably due to all the strange food she had eaten over the past few days. In the hospital wing, it had been a habit of hers to call on Ellie, Lily and James' house elf, for pickles and ice-cream in the middle of the night. Lily personally found this to be a very strange combination, but who was she to judge.?

Anna was not in the best of spirits either, having just been told that her boyfriend is a werewolf. After the initial shock had settled in, Anna had wondered how she had missed all the signs. Then, of course, she was upset that no one had told her sooner (even though she assumed that the Marauders were the only ones who knew at any rate). She still wasn't sure how she felt about the whole thing - she was by no means a prejudiced person, she was all for integration, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to date a werewolf. Especially one that had kept his secret from her. _Perhaps he doesn't trust me_, she thought to herself, _and what's a relationship without trust? _She knew she was being hypocritical in that respect, but surely her secret hadn't been as big a deal as his. Hers was about a foolish mistake, his was about his whole blooming way of life and she didn't understand how he could keep that from her. Well, she did understand how he might've been afraid that she'd act this way, but that was entirely his own fault for not telling her in the first place! Lily put two and two together when she saw Remus with the Marauders incredibly subdued and unhappy looking that Thursday during transfiguration - her later talks with James confirmed her theory.

What Lily couldn't understand was why Anna was acting this way.

* * *

It was the Thursday before Lily's birthday. Unfortunately for her, she had first period defence. Normally this wouldn't be a problem, but their professor had pulled a surprise quiz on them which, while it was not academically much of a challenge for Lily, was a bit of a pain because it meant that she couldn't chat with her friends. Cat and Anna were actually back in the Girls' Dormitory - Anna because she didn't want to or feel ready to face Remus, and Cat because she felt abominably sick. Lily decided it was time to abuse her Head duties and claim that she had some urgent matters to attend to. After a quick word with her Head Boy, she left the classroom. The Marauders, of course, found a way around their strict professor's 'no talking' rule, even if they themselves were unable to leave the class.

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_

**So, what are we doing for ol' Lily-flower's big day?**

_Why does it seem that every time we pass notes in class it's always about Evans?_

**Ooh, Wormtail's getting jealous**

_Don't tease him, Pads, he's feeling left out. _

**Oh, don't get your knickers in a knot, Wormy-**

_Weren't we talking about Lily's birthday?_

**Ah yes, Evans. So, what's the plan Prongs?**

I don't have one

**Huh?**

_Sorry, I must have misread that. I thought James said he didn't have plans for Lily's 17__th__ Birthday!?_

No, you read right, Moony. It's just we've all been so busy and, I don't know, in light of all the crazy attacks and stuff I thought a massive party might be a bit insensitive.

**You might be right, mate.**

_So what are you going to do?_

I'm not really sure. I'll work it out as the moment comes to me.

**Well it better come soon, or you'll miss her birthday altogether.**

Yeah, I know.

_Did you get her a present?_

Yeah, but you'll see.

**That must mean it's something special. **

No comment

**Ooh, is Prongs-y going to pop the question.**

Laughs

**What? It was a valid question**

_They've only been dating for a week, Sirius!_

**Yeah, but they are meant to be together - everyone knows that**

Okay, guys, as much as I _love_ talking about my relationship with Lily, can we please change the subject?

**You know, potentially you could propose…**

Don't be so ridiculous!

**No, seriously. I heard your dad as good as gave his blessing.**

Where did you hear that?

**And that good-old Lily-flower didn't seem to mind that much!  
**Did she say that?

**No - one of the headmaster portraits in Dumbledore's office often likes to play cards with the witch on the sixth floor. I heard him talking on my way to divination. And I have to say, well done Prongs!**

_I didn't know it was possible for a guy to blush that much!_

_Hey, does anyone have the answer to question five?_

**Come on, Wormtail, you hang out with a werewolf once a month, you should be able to recognise one by now!**

_There's the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes-_

**Moony, Wormtail needs to learn these things on his own.**

_Fine, but if he fails this text _you_ can tutor him, got it?_

**Sir, yes, sir.**

So you really reckon that Lily wouldn't mind being proposed to?

_Don't be stupid, James. You've been going out less than a week!_

Yeah… good point, actually.

**Oh, bless his cotton socks, he looks disappointed.**

I am not!

_It's okay, James. Just take your time, that's all._

I wasn't planning on proposing to her anyway. You guys are just putting ideas in my head!

**Listen, while we're on the topic of the beautiful and irresistible female gender…**

Yes..?

**I was wondering - do you think the girls have been acting weird lately?**

Not particularly. Why?

_Actually, I beg to differ. Anna has been a bit weird of late._

Really?

_Yeah. But I know why_

**Why?**

_Because I told her what I am._

What did she say?

_She didn't really say anything. She just kind of walked away. And I haven't seen her since._

Well, it is only Thursday. Maybe she just hasn't had time yet.

_James, this is the most important thing I've ever told her. I think if she wanted to, she could make time._

**I don't know, Moony, I'm with Prongs. Besides, I haven't seen any of the girls today. **

I saw Lily at breakfast. She said Anna was with Cat who wasn't feeling well, so maybe that's why she hasn't spoken to you..?

_You think that could be it? _

**Wait on - Cat's sick?**

Yeah, she had some stomach virus. But she skipped second period Arithmancy, too. Then again, none of them are here now. And Lily's not a big fan of missing class, especially when we have so much to catch up on.

_I don't think that's the reason why I haven't seen Anna. But I suppose she just needs time. _

You're right, Moony, she just needs time to adjust. It'll be okay.

**Prongs is right, she'll come back in due time.**

_What about question six?_

_Go look it up, Wormtail, that's what the text book is for._

_Fine!_

I think we've upset him again.

_We seem to be doing that a lot lately. _

**Who cares? He'll get over it. Now, as I was saying-**

About the beautiful and irresistible female gender?

**Yes**

_You were asking if we'd noticed the girls acting strangely?_

**Yes**

And Moony said yes about Anna

**Yes**

And you're still asking the question-

_So you must be referring to Cat?_

**Well, yes, I am**

She has been a little strange. I mean, we've hardly seen her today, but in the hospital wing she was a bit of a grouch, wasn't she?

_I thought we put that down to the recent and obviously still painful death of her father?_

**Well, we had. But I really don't think that's it, guys.**

Why do you say that?

**I mean, every time I've tried to comfort her or touch her or talk to her she either bites my head off or runs away. I don't know what I've done! And, I mean, what girl could resist this?**

_Ah, there's the pompous Padfoot we know and love._

**But seriously!**

You just made a very bad pun, mate.

**Prongs!**

Okay, yes I suppose you're right but… oh look, it's the end of class.

_Now you can go and find Cat and ask her what's wrong._

**She won't tell me. She's been so moody!**

Well, you won't know if you don't ask.

--

Then James stopped writing, a sudden terrifying thought hitting him full force between the eyes.

"You don't think she's..?"

"She's what?" Sirius responded blankly.

"But, James, they haven't done it," Remus pointed out awkwardly.

"Oh yeah."

"We haven't done what now?" Sirius asked, clearly confused.

"You know… _it_," James said, raising his eyebrows significantly.

"Oh, you mean sex, why would that matt- oh my god! You think she's-"

"Yeah, but she can't be, I mean you two haven't even…" James stopped when he saw the combination of guilt and horror on Sirius' face.

"You didn't?" he said incredulously.

Sirius just nodded mutely, eyes wide. Remus and James steered him out of the classroom and down a relatively empty corridor.

"No, she couldn't be… I mean… no, she couldn't be-" he muttered.

"Sirius, don't panic. You don't know that that's why she's been weird," Remus said placating, but James continued on his theory.

"Well, mate, you have to admit, she _has_ been pretty moody."

"Her dad just died!" Sirius defended desperately.

"Yeah, I spose… but-"

"But what?"

"She ate a pickle for breakfast!"

"So what? She likes pickles!" Sirius cried defensively.

"_And_ Lily told me that Cat was feeling too sick to go to Runes this morning, as well as Arithmancy," James said pointedly.

"But… but she loves Runes," Sirius said softly. James patted him gently on the shoulder.

"It's okay, mate. Maybe it's nothing at all..?"  
Sirius turned to look at him with a pained and clearly disbelieving expression on his face.

"Well, okay, maybe it's something. But I'm here for you every step of the way… Uncle Prongs," he announced. But Sirius was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to even bother punching his friend in the arm. Instead he got up and, without a word, left the corridor. Remus turned to look at James.

"You really can be an insensitive git sometimes," he said with an exasperated half-smile.

"Well, he's got to consider all possibilities. I mean, I can't believe he didn't tell us that they were together… like that. I mean, this is Padfoot we're talking about."

"Yeah, I know. He must really like her," Remus replied with a frown, "What are they going to do if she is?"

"Who knows? But I don't reckon he's ready for that sort of a commitment. He's only just understood the meaning of monogamy. I don't think he's ready for a whole kid!"

Remus just sighed in response.

"Come on, we'd better go find him."

"You go. I'm going to find Evans and see what she knows. Later, Moony."

"See you, Prongs."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the girls dormitory it had taken much less time to get onto the subject of Cat's violent mood swings and strange eating habits. In fact, Anna had brought it up due to the fact that she was so frustrated that she couldn't talk to anyone about Remus that she had decided to probe Cat instead. It had taken very little to get Cat to talk. The first shock was that she and Sirius had been sleeping together for over a month. The second was…

"But you don't think you're..?"

"Lily, I _missed_ my _period!_"

"But that doesn't mean anything-"

"What if I'm bloody pregnant?!"

"That's a big 'what if', though, Cat."

"No, really, I thought it was just a small, insignificant, life-altering detail," Cat roared sarcastically.

"Jeez, if your hormones are gonna be so awful all the time, I hope you're not pregnant," Anna muttered.

"That's an awful thing to say," Cat said in a quiet voice before she started sobbing. Lily glared at Anna for making their emotionally unstable friend cry, before moving to wrap an arm over Cat's shoulder.

"Listen Cat, you don't even know if you are pregnant yet or not. So just relax, take a deep breath-"

"Lily! I might be pregnant with Sirius Black's baby! DO NOT TELL ME TO RELAX!" she yelled, removing herself from Lily's hug and striding angrily to look out the window.

"But didn't you use protection?"

"Of course we did, but you know that it can't always be one hundred percent. Oh my God, who's going to tell Sirius?" she said, suddenly vulnerable again.

"Cat, we need to make sure first. When's the next Hogsmeade trip?" Anna asked, trying to make up for her previous insensitivity.

"They've been cancelled, remember?" Lily replied, "why?"

"There might be a potions shop or something that can help us out," Anna replied, "You know, to check if…"

"What about a muggle chemist?" Lily suggested.

"A what?"

"It's this place where you can buy pregnancy tests."

"I don't want to use some weird muggle test to find out if I've ruined my life or not."

"It's not weird. It's not even invasive - all you have to do is… pee on a stick," Lily said with a shrug of the shoulders.

"You seem to know an awful lot about this stuff, Lils," Anna said suspiciously.

"Yeah, well, I watch a lot of TV," Lily replied, rolling her eyes.

"You watch a lot of what now?" Anna asked.

"Never mind," she sighed.

"So how do we get to this chemist, then?" Cat asked, "I need to know quickly before I go completely insane!"

"Okay, let me think," Lily paused in her pacing, "I'll be right back!" And she dashed out of the room, leaving Anna with a very hormonal Cat.

"James? James, are you in there?" Lily called, knocking on James' bedroom door. No response. _He must be off with his Marauder buddies_, Lily thought, _That__'__s annoying_. But the door she had just knocked on swung open quietly and Lily, taking this as a sign, walked into the messy room. She quickly scanned the room for what she was looking for. And there it was - the silvery piece of cloth folded neatly atop a pile of dirty clothes. Lily rolled her eyes and made a mental note to tell James to clean his room. She felt a small stab of guilt in her stomach upon removing the cloak - what if James needed it? Be he wasn't here, Lily reasoned, and she was doing it for a friend.

Throwing the cloak over her head and shoulders, she proceeded back to Cat and Anna's dormitory, with a plan…

* * *

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," James muttered, pointing his wand at the battered bit of parchment as he hurried towards the Head's dormitory. Honestly, he had never known his friends to be in such disarray. Usually it was James worrying about Lily, but now Moony was upset because he had finally revealed the truth to his girlfriend and had been avoided ever since, and Sirius Black - ladies man of Hogwarts - might've gotten his girlfriend pregnant. Really, it was just too much in one go, James thought. Lily, of course, was having a similar problem. First it was Anna with the whole Edmond-Remus debacle and now it was Cat with a pregnancy scare. Since when had their lives become like a television soap-opera?

James glanced down at the map and saw two dots, labelled Anna Brown and Catherine Jones, sitting in the Girls' Dormitories - but where was Lily? He came to a standstill in the middle of the empty hallway, scanning the map for her name. It was a relatively empty hallway - the school were at lunch in the Great Hall by this time.

"Ah, gotcha!" James said as he spied her dot, walking hastily down… this very corridor. James looked around surreptitiously, straining his ears for any sound (for at this point, he saw no-one) and sure enough he heard the tell-tale sounds of a rustling cloak. He smiled to himself. _Lily must be having a heart attack thinking that I'll hear her_, he thought to himself, _She doesn't know that I know_. James began to casually walk to where he knew Lily was, and he thought he heard a sharp intake of breath. He stopped and frowned. The rustling ceased immediately. _Too easy_, he thought. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Turning on heel he began to walk in the opposite direction. He thought he heard a sigh of relief behind him. Still walking away from Lily, he called over his shoulder "Lils, where are you going?"

He couldn't help but chuckle when he felt the red head poke him in the back. He turned to look at her head, apparently floating in mid-air.

"You might want to take the whole thing off, Evans, coz right now you look like a floating head," he grinned, as Lily hastily pulled the whole thing off her shoulders, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Thanks for the advice," she muttered, her cheeks almost the colour of her hair.

"May I enquire as to why you were wearing my invisibility cloak," James began, "Is it coz it smells like me or because you wanted to sneak up and surprise me?-"

"Ha-ha, Potter," she grumbled with a playful smack on his arm, "Actually I just didn't feel like seeing anyone I know, at the moment."

"Not even me?" he pouted, "I'm hurt."

"Okay, you're the exception," she conceded with a small smile, "But I really do have to get going-"

"You're missing lunch, though."

"There are more important things, right now," she replied, making to continue in the direction she had been going, but James gently grabbed her arm.

"But I need to speak to you," he said.

"Is it urgent?"

"I don't know. It's about Sirius." Lily nodded slowly, urging him to continue.

"It's just, well, I don't know if you've noticed - I'm guessing you have because she's your best mate - but is there something wrong with, I mean, is Cat, well… is she, okay?" he stumbled over the words awkwardly.

"What makes you say that?" Lily asked in a voice that told James she knew something.

"You know what's wrong, don't you?" he asked, without beating about the bush, "There is something wrong with her, isn't there?"

"I don't know what you mean-" she tried, but James cut her off.

"Come off it, Lily, the mood-swings, funny eating habits, nausea. Plus, she's been avoiding Sirius. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was-" but Lily clapped a hand over his mouth.

"SHUSH!" she cried, eyes frantically scanning the corridors for eavesdroppers, but it was as deserted as it had been the entire time.

"OH HOLY MERLIN, I WAS RIGHT!" James yelled.

"James bloody Potter, if you do not shut your mouth this instant I will curse your sorry arse into next week!" Lily hissed, dragging him into an empty classroom.

"I'm sorry, I'm just in shock," James said, his hazel eyes wide open and wearing an expression not dissimilar to a goldfish.

"You're in shock. My best friend might be pregnant and _you're_ in shock!" Lily said incredulously.

"Wait a minute. _Might_ be pregnant?" James asked.

"She's not sure yet," Lily replied.

"Oh, what a relief," he sighed, sitting on a desk.

"Relief for you, maybe, I'm the one who has to help her find out," Lily replied heatedly.

"I assume that's why you borrowed the cloak?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. I need to sneak out of the castle for the afternoon to get, err, a test."

"I know the quickest way, if you're interested," James offered, taking her hand.

"You won't tell Sirius, will you? Cat would be livid if she knew that you knew, let alone her boyfriend."

"Well, he already has his suspicions. He's gone now. Disappeared off the map completely. I reckon he's gone to Hogsmeade, myself. I was thinking about fetching him, but maybe he needs time to think," James rambled.

"Okay. Look, why don't you come with me? You could stop by at Hogsmeade on the way back to the castle. Besides, I'd feel better about blatantly breaking school rules if I was with a seasoned trouble maker," she gave him her best puppy dog eyes. She didn't need to, really, he'd never been able to say no to Lily.

"Sure thing, I'll just let Moony and Peter know where I'm going and how to cover for me."

"I need to do the same with Anna and Cat."

"Meet you outside the statue of Eargit the Ugly in five minutes?"

"Okay… wait, where?"

"Honestly, you call yourself the Head Girl?" he smirked, "Third floor corridor on the way to the North Tower?"

"Oh, right," Lily blushed, "Five minutes," and she dashed out of the room, James following suit.

Seven and a half minutes later, Lily stood by the particularly grotesque statue puffing and clutching a stitch in her stomach. She had had to run all the way to the Girls' Dormitory, lied about why she was going 'alone' then had had to run all the way to her own dormitory to grab a warmer jumper and some money. All without being seen. And James, how dare he, was two and a half minutes late!

"Sorry," came a voice from around the corner, "Took longer than expected," James puffed, jogging into view. Lily couldn't help but let the corners of her mouth jerk upwards in an unwilling smile at the sight of him.

"Whatever, let's just get going, shall we?" she tapped the statue and said _'dissendium'_ as she had seen Sirius do to the one-eyed witch statue. But nothing happened.

"Okay, you do it then," she said irritably to James who was struggling to suppress a chuckle.

"Lily, dear, the passage isn't through the statue this time. He's far too titchy to fit through. Follow me," and without waiting for a reply he walked about five paces to the left of the statue where an unlit torch sat sadly in its bracket.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Lily muttered under her breath, knowing vaguely, from her love for old-fashioned horror-mystery films, what would happen next. James pulled down on the torch and the wall flashed brightest orange for a split second. Lily closed her eyes against it's brilliance and when she opened them she found a whole section of the wall was missing.

"And I suppose there's a certain book in the library that reveals a secret passage, too," she muttered.

"There is actually, but there's time for that later. Come on, before it seals itself again," James said, grabbing her hand and pulling her in. They were standing in a musty, dark antechamber.

"This is so unromantic it isn't funny," Lily said.

"Ah, sorry," James replied, "_Lumos_, that's better. Now follow me."

"Where does this passage come out?" Lily asked.

"Dufftown," James replied.

"That's close by, isn't it?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, but it's quicker if we do this," James said, sitting down on the cold stone floor and crossing his legs.

"James, what are you doing?"

"You know how if I try to get up the girls' staircase…" he began, but Lily cottoned on quickly.

"Please, James, you don't expect me to believe that there's a slippery slide all the way from the inside of Hogwarts to the non-magical village of Dufftown?"

"Believe what you wish, Lily-flower, but trust me - it's a smoother journey if you sit down."

"But it's at least an hour to Dufftown, why can't we apparate?"

"Ooh, sneaking out of school and breaking the law. My, my Evans, you are getting broad-minded," James said in a mocking tone.

"Oh shut it, James. And stop calling me Evans. It makes me nervous."

"Sorry, Lily," he said meekly, "But seriously, you're not seventeen just yet, so sit down, relax and we'll be there soon." Lily obliged, sitting on his lap (which she decided was considerably warmer and more comfortable than the stone floor) and preparing to be swept away. James pointed his wand at something on the wall and Lily felt a strange vwooshing sensation around her but did not feel any wind on her face. It was like travelling in a very fast, very smooth air bubble.

The journey was fast - it could not have been more than fifteen minutes when Lily and James felt their underground tunnel begin to rise - they were now sliding uphill.

They arrived in a small, musty antechamber, much like the one they had just left. Lily climbed off James, a bit embarrassed that she had potentially cut off all his circulation, and offered him a hand up - which he gratefully accepted.

"Where to now?" she asked.

"I know where the chemist is, if that helps."

"How do you know what a chemist is, by the way?" she asked as he led her through a small wooden door and into an old backstreet.

"I take muggle studies, remember?" he said with a grin. Lily felt herself blushing. _Pull yourself together, girl,_ she told herself, _honestly, you can't even remember what classes your boyfriend takes! Cat will be fine, just stop thinking about it and focus on the task at hand. _

_Do you ever want kids?_

_Of course I do._

_That's why you're so preoccupied._

_When did the voices in my head get so smart?_

_About the same time you decided to listen to them._

_Well, it serves me right for listening to them, then, doesn't it?_

_Yes._

_That was rhetorical, stupid. _

_Great, now I'm insulting myself again. I thought the voices were a side-effect from not telling James how I feel. _

_They were._

_Well, what about now?_

_We're just here for our own amusement. _

_Oh, fan-bloody-tastic._

_Oi, Evans, maybe you should listen to what Quidditch-boy is saying._

_Shit!_

"Sorry, what was that?" she asked dazedly.

"I said, 'I know your timetable off by heart, is it so much to ask that you do the same?'" he grinned. Lily just looked at him blankly.

"Err, it was a joke, Lils. Are you okay?" he looked suddenly concerned.

"I-I'm fine… sorry. I was just thinking. And I kind of forgot to listen. Now, where were we?"

"I know where the chemist is, but considering that we both skipped lunch, I figured maybe we could get some first? You know, like a second date?"  
Lily smiled at him.

"We really shouldn't. Cat's going out of her mind not knowing about, well, you know."

"Good point," James said sadly. It was at this point that his stomach chose to grumble really loudly.

"Well, maybe if it was a quick lunch," Lily conceded.

"Fabulous!" James dragged her down the narrow back alley, into the main street, selected a dingy looking pub and strode right in.

"Now, I know it looks kind of dodgy, but they do the best chips here," he insisted.

"If you say so," she replied sceptically, sitting herself across from him in the little booth.

"What can I get for you today?" asked a rough-looking man, whom Lily suspected to be the owner.

"We'll have to serves of chips and two butterbe-"

"Ginger beers, please?" Lily interrupted, after aiming a small kick at James' shins under the table.

"Is that all, Miss?"

"Yes, thank-you."

"That'll be seven pounds, twenty."

"Do we pay at the counter?" James asked, and the man nodded before walking away.

"Do you have any muggle money?" he asked Lily who shook her head.

"Sorry, it's all at the castle. I didn't even think about how I was going to buy the test with galleons and sickles," she said frowning.

"It's all good. I'm not top in transfiguration for nothing, you know," James grinned, before pulling out his wand (under the table, of course) and transfiguring several of his galleons into their muggle equivalent.

"See? Problem solved and crisis averted."

"I don't know about that," Lily said, "I mean, what if she really is…"

"Eating for two?"

"Yes, thank-you James," she glared at him. "But, seriously, what are they going to do. I mean, they're still at school. Sirius is only just seventeen. I didn't even know they were," she threw her hands in the air, "you know."

"It seems to me you have a problem with saying the word sex, Lily," James teased. Lily threw a sugar packet at him.

"Okay, okay, sorry. Look, I don't know what they're going to do, either."

"Sirius isn't exactly responsible, though. He's not going to want to sit around playing dad, is he?" Lily said with a frown.

"He's my best mate, Lily, I know him. And he wouldn't just leave his kid in the lurch," James defended honestly.

"But-"

"No buts. He won't leave Cat over this, I'm sure of it. It's just… I didn't even know they were doing it. It's just a shock, is all."

There was silence while they munched on their chips and drank their ginger beer (which James found to be incredibly disgusting), each lost in their own thoughts. They both finished eating as fast as they could, eager as they were to discover the truth about Cat.

They all but ran to the chemist, which was conveniently located at the _other_ end of the street. Lily walked through the automatic sliding doors, James close behind her with a look of awe on his face. The bright white sterility of the place reminded him of the hospital wing but its neat rows of shelves displaying shelf upon shelf of garish and eye-catching products reminded him equally of Zonkos.

"So this is what they look like," he said. Lily just nodded mutely, and started looking down the aisles for what they needed.

"Come on," she said, turning down aisle three labelled 'Pads, Tampons, Pregnancy'. James wrinkled his nose at all the unfamiliar, yet dead-frightening, objects in their patterned boxes. Lily strode off briskly but James lingered, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Lily, what are we looking for?" he called.

"I think it's supposed to be like a white stick or something," she replied, perusing the shelves.

"Hmm," James muttered, plucking a pink carton off the shelf and opening it. He reached gingerly inside the packet and withdrew a small white object, no bigger than his pinkie finger.

"Is this it?" he called to Lily, holding up the tampon.

"Ah, no, James. That's not it," she said, trying to hold back her laughter.

"What is it, then?" he asked looking confused. _Aww, how adorable,_ Lily thought.

"It's… for people who get really bad nosebleeds," she lied.

"Should I get some for Quidditch practice?" he asked innocently.

"NO! I mean, they're for muggles and only girls use them."

"Why's that then?"

"Oh, I don't know. Come over here and help me look." James replaced the packet on the shelf and sauntered up to Lily just as a shop assistant rounded the corner.

"Can I help you?" she asked kindly.

"Oh, we're fine. We were just looking for, err, a pregnancy test," Lily said looking at the floor, her cheeks flaming.

"Oh, right," said the shop assistant, looking vaguely awkward, "Well, they're right over here." She led them over to a colourful display of cardboard boxes arranged in an odd pyramid-like formation at the end of the aisle.

"Thanks," Lily said.

"Pleasure… and good luck to you both," she smiled.

"Oh, no, it's not for us!" Lily exclaimed wide eyed as James shook his head emphatically.

"Oh, okay," she replied with a small disbelieving smile before walking off.

"Can you believe that- I mean, the thought that we…" Lily rambled. James chuckled at her embarrassment.

"Well we are dating, and we do make quite a cute couple. It's not that big a stretch of the imagination, really," he grinned.

"Do you want kids someday?" Lily asked, before she realised what she was saying.

"Yep," he replied readily, "Not right this second, but yeah I can see myself in the future, four kids, big house, an owl or two."

"Your poor wife," Lily joked as she selected the most aesthetically pleasing pregnancy test from the pile, "Four kids - you don't ask much."

"She's a tough cookie, I know she can handle it," he replied, giving her a look that at once made her uncomfortable and incredibly sure that she wanted to be in his future.

"We should get going," she said finally, ending their staring competition and heading towards the counter to pay.

It was a sort of awkward journey back to Hogwarts, now. It was getting on into the afternoon (about three o'clock) and neither Lily nor James felt able to bring up the topic of children again. So they made forced conversation about classes and Quidditch until they arrived back on the third floor near the statue of Eargit the Ugly.

"I'll see you tonight at dinner, won't I?" Lily asked James.

"Probably. It depends on," and he nodded his head at the test in her hands.

"Yeah, I suppose so. Listen, James, whatever happens with Sirius and Cat, we're still good, right?"

"Definitely," he replied seriously, "Why?"

"Well, with Anna and Remus all strange it's already a bit hard."

"They'll get through it. Anna just needs time to adjust, you said so yourself."

"Yeah, but if she doesn't… and if Sirius and Cat- Just promise we'll be okay?"

"We will, Lily. I've spent seven years chasing you, I'm not about to let you get away," he said, leaning down for a soft kiss.

"See you later, then," she said with a nervous look at the box in her hands before rushing off. Upon finding Anna alone in the dormitory with no clue as to where Cat was, Lily had gone in search of James again for his (and his map's) help.

* * *

"What are you going to do if you are you-know-what?" Anna asked in reverently.

"I don't know," Cat whispered, "I'm so scared, Anna." She began to sob, big heavy tears rolling down her cheeks. "Sirius is the first guy I've been with like _that_, you know? And we were so careful. And I think- I think I'm in love with him. No! I know I am. I love Sirius and I don't know what this is going to do to us." Anna hurried over to her friend who was now hunched over, looking out the window, and held her in a tight hug.

"It's going to be alright, Catherine, I promise," she soothed.

"How can it? How?! I've royally messed up," she said between sobs.

"It's not your fault. You don't even know if you are yet, so just rel-"

"If you tell me to relax, I swear I will scream!"

"You need to calm down a bit, Cat, it can't be good for-"

"For the baby? You were going to the baby, weren't you? Wanna know something? I don't care! All I want is for things to be the way they were before!"

"Cat-"

"No! I've had enough. I'm going out."

"Where are you going to go?"

"Just out. I'll be back later," and with that she summoned her broom and flew out of her window. Classes had already finished for the day, but the student body at large thought it too cold to go outside, so there was no one out there to watch the chocolate-haired beauty zooming off into the grounds sobbing. Well, almost no-one.

Sirius had been sitting under the Marauders' Beech Tree by the lake when he saw someone flying with reckless abandon overhead. He had been writing in his own occlumency diary.

**

* * *

**

Sirius

**'**** Occlumency Diary:**

She can't be pregnant. We were so careful.

Why hasn't she spoken to me? Is she angry? Is she scared?

I don't think I'm ready for this sort of thing. I'm only 17. I'm still at school.

I'm not grown up enough to be a grown up!

And why won't she talk to me.

I love her for Merlin's sake!

I love her.

Does she still love me?

What if she's pregnant? What happens then? Will I be a dad? Will she want to keep it? Will she want to break up with me and never ever speak to me again?

I love her, and if she has a child I'll love it too.

I don't know what to do.

* * *

He was distracted from his scribblings when he saw a brown-haired blur zoom past over-head. He could have sworn he heard sobbing. He squinted into the distance. He would recognise that broom anywhere, not to mention the person on it. It was Cat, and she was clearly distressed.

_Gee, I wonder what about?_ he thought sarcastically, before summoning his own broom and zooming off after her.

Cat got out most of her frustration and anxious, fearful energy in her flight and made a sharp turn and sprint to land back atop the Astronomy Tower. She touched down gracefully and stood still a moment, letting her thoughts catch up with her. Then she broke down into a fresh set of tears and plopped down unceremoniously on the ledge, her feet dangling dangerously over the edge.

"Cat? What are you doing?" came the voice she least wanted to hear right now.

"Leave me alone, Sirius!"

"What are you doing?" he demanded, hurrying over to her (having hidden his broom - and with it, his stalker like tendencies - behind a small alcove).

"Avoiding you, now leave me alone!"

"But why?"

"It doesn't matter!" she cried, turning angrily to face him. Her cheeks were red and puffy, like her normally clear eyes, and her hair looked windswept and unwashed. Yet, Sirius couldn't help that swell of affection for her in his chest.

"Please, Cat, I just want to talk to you," he begged. Without waiting for a response, he sat down next to her, angling his body so that he was looking at her straight in the eyes. Cat considered her options: tell him what's wrong or don't tell him what's wrong.

"Cat, I just want to know what's wrong," Sirius pleaded. _Well, I guess that answers that question_, Cat thought wryly.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to compose herself, "It's just that I… I think I-"

"You think you might be pregnant?" Sirius supplied.

"Have you been spying on me?!" she demanded angrily.

"No! I just put two and two together…" he looked at her sadly, "Are you..?"

"I don't know," she replied truthfully, "Lily's gone to get a test." Sirius heaved an impossible sigh, which Cat took to be a bad thing.

"Well, I'm not exactly thrilled to pieces!" she said vehemently.

"What?"

"About a potential child, Sirius. I'm not ready. I'm only seventeen!"

"I know! I'm only seventeen as well, remember? I'm not sure if I'm ready to settle down and have a family just yet!"

"Oh great, well it's good to know how you feel about our potential unborn child. Thank you!" she cried moving to get up.

"Wait, Cat! Can we please just talk about this?"

"About what!? There's nothing to talk about," she yelled.

"I know this isn't going to be easy if you are pregnant. But I'm not going to leave you. No way! And I wouldn't be staying for the kid - I'd stay because I love you. I'm in love with you. I'm crazy about you but you just don't get it! I didn't think I was ready for this sort of thing, and a part of me still says that I'm not. But I can't think of anyone I'd rather have this adventure with than you!" he declared, standing up so that he was level with her.

"Sirius, I could be carrying your child. Doesn't that scare you to pieces?"

"Yes, it does. But I love you, Catherine Euphemia Jones, and if we're going to do this thing together, we're going to do it right."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure what I mean. Just promise me something?"

"What?"

"No matter if you're pregnant or not, you're still my girlfriend."

"Okay," she said in a small voice, before breaking down into yet more tears. Sirius held her tightly in his arms, never intending to let go and finally something clicked into place. _This girl is the most important thing to me_, he thought,_ I would do anything for her_. Of course, the Marauders were an equal first - they were his family - but at this point in time, Sirius had eyes for none other than Cat.

"I'm scared, Sirius," she whispered into his chest.

"Me too," he replied truthfully, "But it'll be okay. I promise."

At that moment the door to the tower burst open and Lily and James came into view, both puffing - James holding the map in his hand, and Lily a small pink box.

"Cat, I got it!" she called, before seeing her best friend wrapped in Sirius Black's capable arms. The girl in question immediately pulled away, all colour draining from her face.

"Oh my god," she whispered, "I don't want to know."

"Come on, it won't be that bad," Lily soothed, taking her friend by the hand and throwing an apologetic look at Sirius, "Just come back to my room and we can work everything out there, okay?"

Cat nodded dumbly and allowed herself to be pulled along by Lily. James walked over to Sirius who was watching his girlfriend with a strange expression on his face.

"It'll be alright, Pads, I know it will," James said, clapping his mate on the shoulder in a reassuring manner.

"I love her, Prongs."

"Sorry, what was that?" James asked, eyes wide. Never, in all his years of being Sirius' best friend, had he heard Sirius use the word love in the same sentence as anything apart from Quidditch, food and hexing Snape.

"I love Cat. And I've decided if she has this baby, I'm going to be its' dad."

"You know, biologically speaking, you'd be its' dad anyway."

"You know what I mean," Sirius replied significantly, making his way towards the door through which the girls had long since disappeared.

"You're going to..?"

"Yep!"

"But you're a commitment-phobe! You can't tie the knot!" James exclaimed. What was this crazy topsy-turvy world?

"Sure I can. And you know what? It doesn't really matter if she's pregnant or not," said Sirius, turning to face his friend who was now gaping like a goldfish again.

"Because I realised today, Prongs, that apart from you and Moony and Pete, she is the most important thing to me."

"But you've only been dating for three months!" James protested.

"And I've realised that I love her. I knew it when she fell off that broom, I knew when her father died, I knew when we duelled together in Hogsmeade and I knew when I thought that this potential kid would ruin our relationship. It's as simple as that," he stated simply. James shook off the shock of the initial declaration, deciding that it made sense. After all, who better to understand love that the boy who had been in pursuit of the one girl for seven years?

"Well, Pads, I'm happy for you," James said genuinely. "Now let's go see if you're going to be a daddy or not." Sirius paled considerably before speaking.

"You know, I love her and all, but the thought of a baby still scares me shitless."

"I know, Pads, I know," James said, steering him to the Heads Common Room, where surely the girls had an answer to the big question - was Cat pregnant or not?

* * *

AN - okay, i hope you all anjoyed that because i did it instead of my history homework, lol - it's okay, i have a few study periods tomorrow anyway  
So, i hope that was an alright chapter. If it seemed that characters swung violently from one mood to another it's because 1) emotions are running high in the story and 2) i haven't had enough sleep

but i hope you all enjoyed it. please leave a review telling me what you thought about it and whether or not you want cat to be pregnant - i sort of know what i want, but im curious as to the general consensus of you lovely readers!  
thanks for sticking with this fairly ridiculously long fic and for all your beautiful reviews - i love love love them!!  
happy fanficcing :)


	32. The P Word 2

**Disclaimer:** I really think that Jk would not have made this story such a soapie as i have. ergo, i am not jk and do not own harry potter or his wonderful, gorgeous, funny and altogether better dad. i love james! sigh

AN - This chapter does a lot in one go. Mostly it's to make up for the wait and the cliffie (rubs hands together and laughs evilly)  
Please bear in mind that this is another plot-furthering chapter with not as much lj as i would like. the focus is mostly on sirius and cat. read on, and i shall explain bits at the end. wouldn't want to spoil the surprise, now, would i? Enjoy!! :)

* * *

**Chapter 31 - The P Word (2)**

Lily and Cat stood in the bathroom waiting and waiting and waiting. Anna was lord knows where and the boys were somewhere in the common room outside. Lily could hear their heavy footfalls as they paced back and forth. Cat held the white stick in her trembling hands staring at it as though she could make lines appear just by doing so.

"Cat, you need to give it time. It won't show up straight away," Lily said gently.

"How do you know? Is it the blue line that means I'm pregnant or the pink one or no line at all?" Cat replied in a panic.

"I'm not really sure. I think it said on the packet that the blue line means you're pregnant and otherwise you're not. But they can be faulty," Lily tried to reassure her friend.

Cat squawked suddenly and Lily looked up wide-eyed. Then the door burst open and Sirius stuck his head through, a look of worry on his handsome features. Cat was staring, actually squinting at the stick in her hand.

"Padfoot, get out," came James' voice and Sirius was pulled roughly back onto the other side of the door. Cat began to hyperventilate and Lily rushed to her side.

"Oh my god, I swear I can see it. Look! Can you see it? That's a blue line!!"

Lily stared long and hard at the test before her. She could see nothing of the sort.

"Cat, there's nothing here."

"No, I swear. Look - it's like a whole blue line of blue line-y-ness! I'm going to have a baby," she said in a strangled voice.

"Cat, seriously, you're imagining it. There's nothing there," Lily insisted, picking up the test and scrutinising it closely, "Definitely nothing there. And look, your back-up test is negative as well."

Cat looked vaguely crestfallen for a moment before saying in a voice barely above a whisper, "If I'm not pregnant, then how come I don't feel too good?" And she promptly collapsed on the bathroom floor.

"Sirius!" Lily yelled, struggling under the weight of her athletic friend. Sirius and James both burst into the room. The former was about to enquire whether or not his girlfriend was pregnant but they both saw Cat nearly on the floor and immediately rushed over to help.

"What happened?" James asked as Sirius scooped Cat into his arms and headed for the hospital wing.

"I don't really know," Lily replied, her eyes filled with tears as they followed Sirius, "She was kind of hallucinating and then she collapsed."

"Hallucinating?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. She… well, she thought that the test said she was going to have a baby, but it was negative."

"Oh, right. So she's not pregnant then?" Sirius asked in an inscrutable voice.

"Then why's she been so ill?" James asked.

"I don't know," Lily replied, "That's what worries me."

They rushed in relative silence to the hospital wing - Cat was taken away by Madam Pomfrey and the three were told to go back to their dormitories. Of course, none of them wanted to go, but it was nearing dinner time and the rest of the school would most likely notice the absence of the two rowdiest marauders. Sirius, however, would not be budged. He refused to leave the area in case Cat woke up. So Lily and James went to dinner - and to tell the others what had happened - leaving Sirius agitated and alone.

When his friends were out of sight, Sirius pulled the invisibility cloak out of his pocket - he had borrowed it when James wasn't looking - and threw it quickly over his shoulders. Poking his head through the doors, he found that Madam Pomfrey had deposited Cat in a bed near the window - the same bed that she had been in after the Quidditch accident - and that the nurse was now nowhere to be seen. He crept stealthily to her bed and silently drew the curtains, being sure to cast a muffliato spell over the area. He sat in the chair next to her bed, watching her as she stirred slightly in her sleep. He sighed deeply. Everything was so confusing. Here he was, self-professed ladies' man of Hogwarts, and he was actually prepared to make a commitment to one person. Sure, he knew he would probably have to grow up sometime, he just hadn't anticipated it would be so soon. Or sudden.

_I suppose that's what wars do to people,_ he thought to himself, _they change people. Just look at Lily-flower and Prongs - it would've taken her much longer to come around if there hadn't been all those attacks, I reckon. And what about Frank Longbottom in sixth year? His girlfriend had proposed to him and she's already in her first year out of Hogwarts. Strange thing love. Wow, love… That's interesting_.

Caught up as he was in his own thoughts, he didn't really notice that Cat seemed to be getting more and more restless. He was still invisible but for some reason she seemed to know he was there, reaching out and grabbing his hand, her eyes still firmly shut and the faint crease of a frown between her eyebrows.

"Cat?" Sirius asked gently, stroking her palm with his thumb, but she remained in her sleep-like state. "Cat?" he tried again, as her body began to squirm and writhe under the sheets. Then she began to whimper, "No, not Dad! Take me instead! Not my daddy, please! He can't be dead. Why not me? Dad?" her voice became increasingly stronger and tears leaked out from under her eyelids; Sirius was sure that Madam Pomfrey would hear her. He didn't care about getting caught, he simply sat next to Cat, gently grasping her shoulders and trying to wake her.

"Wake up, Catherine!" he said desperately as her cries got louder. He got up, about to fetch the nurse, when she drew back the curtains impressively.

"Mister Black, what are you-"

"It's Cat. She was fine a minute ago but she just started crying in her sleep and I can't get her to wake up and you have to fix her," he rambled, eyes wild with concern. Madam Pomfrey regarded him for a split second, as if looking at him in a new light, then proceeded to point her wand at Cat and mutter a few choice words under her breath. Sirius looked on anxiously as Cat's body seemed to shudder then go limp.

"I gave her a sleeping draught when you brought her in, Mister Black, but I haven't been able to determine what's wrong with her yet. Is there anything I should know?"

"Hold on, you don't know what's wrong with her?"

"I can't work it out. It's not an infection, it's not a virus, it's not a muggle illness, I simply don't know what else could've caused her body to react the way it did."

"Did you know that we, err, well… Cat and I are-"

"I assumed as much," she replied with a shrewd (but by no means disapproving) look at him, "Is there anything else? A recent allergy, trauma, anything?"

"Not that I can think of. I mean, her dad died but that was a few months ago. And then there was, oh," he sighed, "the duel."

"In Hogsmeade," Poppy said, a look of understanding gracing her face, "Why didn't I think of it before!"

"I can't remember any unusual curses, but some of them were wordless-"

"It's okay, now that I know it was a curse I can narrow it down," she replied, waving her wand in complicated movements over Cat's prone form.

"I thought you fixed us all up during the week?" Sirius said, indignity starting to set in.

"So did I, but there were so many injuries I must've missed something. She never said anything… no outstandingly unusual symptoms… you should leave now, Mister Black, I can take it from here. She will be fine."

"When can I come back?"

"A few hours I should say. She should be right as rain by tomorrow morning."

"Okay," Sirius said, turning to leave, "Umm, Poppy, are you sure she's not… I mean, you know?"

"Sorry Sirius, she's not," she replied with a small sympathetic smile. Sirius just nodded wordlessly and walked out of the Hospital Wing, feeling emotionally drained and very much like he could use a fire whiskey.

* * *

"So she's not pregnant?" Anna clarified in a hushed tone. The three marauders were sitting with her and Lily discussing the recent Sirius/Cat/pregnancy-collapsing crisis.

"No, the test was negative," James replied, "Padfoot did seem a touch disappointed, though, didn't you think?" he looked at Lily.

"Mmm, I thought that was strange. He's never struck me as the fatherly or marrying type," Lily replied.

"There's a marrying type?" James asked curiously.

"Of course there is," Anna replied, while Remus made a point of pushing the food about his plate and ignoring her.

"Really?" Peter squeaked.

"Yes, Peter. There's the type of boy you date and fool around with and there's the type of boy you marry," Lily explained.

"How can you tell the difference?" James asked. Remus snorted into his soup - James really was ridiculously transparent sometimes. Lily gave James a strange look - somewhere between a quirked eyebrow and a knowing smirk - before shrugging her shoulders and returning to her food. "I suppose when you know, you know," she said cryptically. Now, Lily wasn't even close to ready to being married but she couldn't help but delight in James' obvious desire to get married (and Lily had a fair idea of who to).

"You don't think he'll pop the question, do you?" Peter asked anxiously.

"Because of a pregnancy scare? I doubt it," Remus said shortly.

"I dunno - you didn't hear him, Moony. He was saying all this stuff about how much he loves her and how she's the most important thing to him," James said in a concerned voice, "He's never been more serious about anything in his life."

"Bad joke, James," Lily said with a smile.

"Not joking. I genuinely think he's going to ask her to marry him." The rest of the company just gave James a disbelieving look and he shrugged his shoulders, returning to his soup.

"So, Lily, it's your birthday tomorrow. Planning anything special?" Remus asked, as dessert arrived on the table. _Yum_, he thought,_ chocolate_.

"Unless you count double transfiguration, no, not a thing," she replied sadly, "I think that everyone has plenty to be going on with anyway."

"Come on, Lils, it's your seventeenth," James insisted, "Let us throw you a party or something."

"No, it's fine. Cat will just be out of the hospital wing, we have classes and it's just not necessary."

"Fine," he replied dejectedly, poking moodily at his dessert with a spoon.

When dinner was finished, Remus and Peter said that they were going to go find Sirius, and Anna, who was still not speaking to Remus, decided to go and do some extra study in her dormitory. This was fine by Lily and James, who were looking forward to some time alone when not in search of a pregnancy test.

"So, that was an interesting week," Lily said as they walked back to their common room.

"You can say that again," James replied with a grin, "Our first date, a Death Eater attack, a ministry interview and a pregnancy scare."

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds like we're in a television soap," Lily laughed.

"A what?"

"Never mind," she smiled, "I just wonder when our lives got so terribly dramatic."

"Ah, well. There's not much that we can do about that," he smiled and took her hand, "But we can make the most of the time we have with those we care about."

"That was cheesy, James, even for you," she grinned.

"Cheesy is very in right now, Lilykins, haven't you heard?"

"Don't call me Lilykins, you great dolt," she shoved him lightly with her shoulder, "You know I hate it."

"But it suits you."

"Does not!"

"Would you prefer Foxy?"

"Huh?"

"Matches your hair and your attitude."

"No thank you. Makes me sound like an animal."

"What about Emerald, like your eyes?"

"Now you're getting ridiculous. Sounds like a name you would give a pony."

"You're not making this easy, Evans," he play-growled. Lily had to admit, letting James flirt with her and allowing herself to flirt back was rather entertaining.

"Since when do I ever make your life easy?" she smirked.

"Fair point, Lily-flower."

"Now you can't call me that, James. You sound like Sirius."

"Yuck, I won't be making that mistake again, then, eh Lily," he grinned, tugging gently on her arm.

"No, I don't suppose you will," she said, stopping in the hallway and turning to face him. She placed her hands around his neck and softly pressed her lips against his. His response was tentative and gentle, almost as though he feared if he were too enthusiastic, the magic would be lost. They stayed, wrapped in one another's arms for a minute or so before deciding that they should probably get back to their dorm.

Once there, they both sat down at their desks and attempted to do their catch-up work, which they should've completed already (and would've done, too, if not for the 'test incident'). Until ten thirty all that could be heard was the scratching of quills on parchment, the crackling of the fire in the grate and the occasional drawn out sigh. When Lily consulted her watch, finding that there was in fact a reason why her eyelids were so heavy, she laid down her quill.

"It's ten thirty," she said to James, who looked up from his muggle studies assignment.

"That's nice to know," he said with a distant look in his eyes, before turning back to his work.

"I mean we should probably sleep now," Lily said, rising and rearranging things on her desk.

"Yeah, I'll just finish this…" he said in that same tone.

"James, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" he turned his glassy eyes back to Lily, "Nothing's wrong."

"Come on, Potter, you can't fool me. Is it about Sirius?" Lily asked gently. James looked vaguely surprised for a moment, before nodding sadly.

"It's just, I don't know what's going on anymore. We used to be best mates - I mean, we still are - but recently I just feel like I don't know him like I used to. S'pose it's coz I live up here now and I've got Head Boy stuff and he's always with Cat…"

"James, Sirius is still your best friend, I really don't think you need to worry. Just because he spends time with Cat-"

"But that's just it! He spends _all_ his time with Cat. And I don't blame him if he truly likes her how he says he does. Heck, now I know how it feels when your best mate won't shut up coz he thinks he's in love," James said bitterly before putting his hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, what was that?" Lily asked in a quiet voice - did he mean what she thought he meant?

"Nothing, don't… nothing?" he tried. Lily raised her eyebrows but said no more.

"Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now James. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Lily," James said, getting up and placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. Then a grin spread across his face, "Hey, next time I see you, you'll be legally allowed to buy me fire whiskey!"

Lily shook her head, "Nice try, Potter, get Black to do your dirty work - I will take no part in cheating the system for the sake of my boyfriend."

"Killjoy."

"Night, James," she said with a shake of her head, retreating back up the staircase to her dormitory where she fell on her bed and promptly drifted off to sleep.

James, however, decided that now would be a good time to write in his occlumency diary - heaven knows when the last time was he could be bothered.

**

* * *

**

James' Occlumency Diary

I haven't written in this old thing for ages! Last time I wrote was before Evans and I got it together - things have been insane. She finally gave in to my charm and good looks after the best detention of my life (sponges were involved) and now we are a couple.

Things haven't all been smooth sailing, though. Our first date - Death Eater attack. I really can't be bothered with the details, but we faced the almighty 'Voldemort' and lived to tell the tale so that's a plus.

But since then things have kind of gone downhill for the Marauders.

Sirius and Cat had a pregnancy scare - strange but true - and now Sirius is thinking of popping that question. It's absolutely nutty! Firstly, no one even knew they were going at it. Secondly, they've only been dating for three months. And thirdly, he's a Marauder - not just any Marauder - he is king bachelor, ladies' man of Hogwarts Marauder! Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into him.

Remus, on the other hand, is all mope-y again and not because of his furry little secret. Although, I suppose that is part of the problem. He told Anna the other day about his condition and she didn't exactly take it well, I guess. I'm not really sure of the details but apparently Anna was keeping some massive secret from him, too, so I guess she's being a bit of a hypocrite. I'm surprised, actually, coz Lils said that Anna would be fine with it - she's not prejudiced at all. Well, apparently she is because now she and Moony aren't speaking and it's caused a massive divide in the group.

And we only got out of the damned Hospital Wing two days ago, so it's not like we've all had time to sit down and sort things out.

…

Wow, you know you're a Head Boy when you want to 'sit down and sort things out'. Honestly, what has become of me and my prankster ways?

…

I don't know why I'm still writing - there's something I've forgotten. Oh, right - Lily's birthday. She turns seventeen tomorrow! I'll be dating a full age witch who can legally get me stuff (not that I don't know how to get it anyway - but that's not the point).

Only thing is, she said she didn't want a party. But who doesn't want a party on their birthday? That's just stupid. But she seemed fairly adamant - and I don't want to get on her bad side - so I was thinking maybe a small get together in the kitchens? I could ask the elves to make us her favourite food (chocolate cake for dessert) and we can just chat and stuff. It'll be nice not to have to be taking care of everyone else and making sure that they're not arguing. It can just be the two of us. I think she'd like that.

Hold on a moment. Did you hear that? No, of course you didn't - you're a journal, for goodness sake. I'm going to go investigate.

* * *

James could hear Lily's cries before he reached her doorway. _Oh no,_ he thought, _not again. _

"Lily?" he banged hard on the door, "Lily, wake up!"

But her strangled cries continued and James decided that it would probably be best if he woke her up in person. Forgetting that he had a wand in his back pocket, James rammed his shoulder against the door, throwing it wide open. Still Lily did not wake. James' heart jumped into his throat as he saw her lying there, thrashing about, tears leaking out from under her closed eyelids. He raced over to her bedside, grasping her firmly by the shoulders and shaking her gently.

"Lily! Lily, wake up," he ordered. Her breath hitched in her throat in fear as she opened her eyes. Then her eyes found his and she threw herself into his arms again. James sighed softly and rubbed her back in a comforting manner. Lily had stopped crying but her breathing was still ragged as she pressed her warm body against his. They sat on her bed for a while before she pulled away, and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Lily-" James began but she shook her head.

"No, I don't want to," she said stubbornly.

"Come on, Lils, Dumbledore will be able to help," James insisted.

"He's got enough to be going on with at the moment," she said thickly, "Besides, it's just one dream. And dreams never hurt anyone, right?"

James couldn't help but nod at this. She was right, of course, there was nothing in dreams.

"Can we… can we just sit here for a while?" she asked in a small voice. James nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. It's always the same," she replied with a shudder, "Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure," he said, moving so that he was facing her, sitting at the end of her bed. "So, those Chudley Cannons, ey?"

She laughed unsteadily. Good old James, wanting to talk about Quidditch.

"Very funny, James," she replied.

"Well, what do you feel like talking about? What about your birthday?"

"Yuck! I don't want to grow up. Too much responsibility." James clutched at his heart dramatically, "Did the Head Girl just display contempt for responsibility?" he gasped. Lily giggled again, her voice a bit stronger already.

"Are you really worried that Sirius will ask Cat to marry him?" Lily asked, seemingly out of the blue. James looked up at her in surprise.

"Well, I'm not sure if worried is the right word. I just don't think he's ready for that sort of a commitment. But war makes people do strange things. I mean, look at Frank-"

"Longbottom?"

"Yeah, his girlfriend proposed to _him_ and he's still in school."

"I suppose you're right. It just seems a bit strange that people should be getting married right out of school."

"Yeah, I agree," James nodded, "I'd want to wait a bit and adjust to life after Hogwarts first. Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah. But you'd want to try living together too. People can have really annoying habits you never knew about it."

"Try living with Padfoot. He gets up in the middle of nights for snacks but he's never brave enough to go get them by himself, the git. He's always waking me up in the holidays. I had dad put an emergency larder across the hall so we didn't have to go as far." Lily giggled again and then frowned.

"People are going to be getting married left, right and centre after Hogwarts. Do you think..? I mean, it's not so unrealistic that we, you know… and then the dream. And what if..?" she rambled incoherently. James took this to mean that she was worried that they would get married and make her dream more likely to come true.

"Lily, listen. If it makes you feel any better, I won't ever, ever propose to you, okay? Then we can never get married and your dream won't come true." As James spoke those words, each one caused him physical pain. Lily looked up at him with big green eyes.

"That's not what I meant," she said.

"What did you mean?" he asked, trying not to let relief show on his face (_Don't appear too eager, Potter, you've only been dating a week_).

"I'm just frightened, that's all. It doesn't mean you can't ever… you know. Not that I think you should!" she tried to clarify, as the look on James' face went from dejected to ecstatic at her words. "It's just, you know. We shouldn't rule that out as a possibility."

"What? Getting married and having kids?"

"Umm, yes?"

"Okay," he smiled, feeling as though his heart could leap out of his chest. Lily Evans had just said that at some point in the future she would not be opposed to marrying him.

"So, I think we really ought to get some sleep," he suggested. Lily raised her eyebrows at him, "No-"

"Funny business, I know," James grinned, "Shove over." Lily complied and they fell asleep together on her bed, James' arms holding her safe and warm.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the Marauder Dormitory…

"Well, he can't have gotten far. He'll want to see Cat in the morning."

"Yeah, but James has the map, I think."

"It's ok, Pete, he'll turn up," Remus said, pushing open the door of their room to find

"Wormy! Moontail! Long see, no time!" Sirius yelled joyfully, throwing his arms wide and accidentally sloshing some firewhiskey on himself. "Oh, bugger!" he tried to lick it off his robes and ended up toppling sideways on the floor. Remus and Peter exchanged a look that clearly said, 'oh crap' and rushed over to help their friend. They righted him, and then sat so that they were in a sort of triangular shape, before speaking.

"Padfoot, are you okay?" Remus asked quietly.

"Of courses, Moonshine. I am feeling on top of the world! And, oh what a world," the dark haired boy cried cheerfully.

"And, err, how much have you had to drink exactly?"

"A few, a few. I was saving them for Lilykins' party but I was a bit stressed before and now I feel so much better!"

"So that's a lot, then?"

"Eleven and a half," he hiccupped, "But is'all good. Coz now I am good-er." Remus tried not to cringe at his friend's drunken grammar and continued.

"Is this about Cat?"

"Cat?"

"Yes, Cat. She's in the hospital wing?"

"Yes, Cat. She's in the hospital wing. She will be good-er too, coz Poppy knows what's wrong. A curse, she said. But she'll be fine. And I'm not a daddy," he said, looking suddenly blue.

"Huh?" Peter asked, very confused.

"I think, Peter, that Sirius is a bit stressed out over the whole Cat thing," Remus explained.

"Why would he be sad about not being a dad, though?"

"I honestly don't know," Remus replied with a frown, "Maybe we can ask him when he's sober."

"Ask me now! Ask me anything. I'm on fire!" Sirius cried in that jovial tone.

"Why are you sad about not being a dad?" Remus asked softly. Sirius immediately stopped swaying and levelled Remus with a solid stare.

"Because I love Cat and I want to spend forever with her. I know I'm young, but I want the chance to be a good father, unlike how my dad was to me," he said in a very serious (or should we say un-Sirius) voice, before his face split into a broad smile, "Anyone want a drink?"

* * *

The following morning in transfiguration…

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Cat:**

**Oh, my head!**

_Serves you right, Pads, you had about twelve last night!_

_Yeah, you were well out of it_

**Shut up, Wormtail, before I curse you into next week**

_Speaking of curses, it's good to have the old Cat back, isn't it._

**Yeah, sure is. **

**Of course it is, you goons. Did you miss me?**

**More than Quidditch**

**That's such a sweet thing to say! I knew I kept you around for a reason**

_So, Cat, I understand why a curse would make you ill, but it still doesn't explain the pickles._

**I already told you guys, she just really likes pickles**

_Seriously?_

**Yeah. YUM!**

**See, told you so**

_I think only now am I appreciating how perfect you two are for each other._

**Why? I'm not a fan of the pickle.**

_I mean you're both a bit strange. But strange works - I think it's kinda cute_

**Oh, Remy's going soft in his old age**

**Speaking of old age, has anyone seen Lily today?**

**Actually, no. Neither of them were at breakfast**

_It's not like Lily to miss class_

_Or like James to miss breakfast_

**I hope they're ok**

_There they are_

**Where have you two been, ey?**

**And happy birthday Lily!**

_Yeah, happy birthday!_

Thanks guys. 

**So where were you two?**

We slept in

_You know that Sirius is going to take that the wrong way, right Prongs?_

I should've known

Yes you should have. The looks he's giving us are not making me a happy birthday girl. 

**Sorry, Lily-flower, but it was too full of innuendo to pass up**

I'll bet it was. But it's not like you can talk Mr I-nearly-got-my-girlfriend-pregnant

_Ooh, Lily one, Padfoot zero._

Guys, we really should be paying attention here. We missed a whole week of class after all.

**Who are you and what have you done with Prongs?**

Seriously!

**Ah, there he is!**

Honestly, James, I don't think you even realise you're doing it anymore.

Doing what?

I rest my case

I'm really confused!  
_  
You're not the only one_

Thanks, Wormy, but you're always confused… no offence.

_Whatever. I'm going to go and sit with Anna. She might show me some respect_

_You know, James - and Sirius, actually - I think we really need to start being nicer to Peter coz one day he's going to crack and it'll come back to bite us. _

**You're just sour coz he's gone to sit with you're ex**

_She's not my ex, she's just not speaking to me and I'm not speaking to her. _

**Why is that, again?**

**No reason. Lover's spat.**

**Nothing to do with Edmond, then?**

_Sort of, but not really. _

**Okay, leaving the subject alone now**

_Thanks_

**No worries. Now Lils, what are we doing for the big one seven?**

Nothing, I'm not really in the mood, 

**There's no use trying to change your mind is there?**

Nope, sorry Sirius. Besides, from what I've read and (don't take this the wrong way or anything) how you look, I'm guessing you had a big night last night. 

**Are you implying that I look dishevelled and/or hung-over?**

If the robe fits

**Sirius Black doesn't get hung over!**

_(snorts with laughter)_

**What, I don't**

_Well then, I'm quite worried about some of the things you said last night, for example-_

**Okay, so I got a little tipsy last night. It isn't a crime!**

Okay, Black, whatever you say.

Guys, we really should be doing some work now.

_I never thought I'd see the day…_

I know, Moony, I worry myself sometimes too.

_You're right, though. Let's get a wriggle on._

* * *

At the end of the day, the gang were exhausted. After a week of lying in bed, classes can be quite trying. Lily was worn out by the time she and James reached the destination for her 'birthday surprise'. James led her to the portrait of the pear, which he promptly tickled, leading Lily into the kitchens.

"The kitchens?" she asked, eyebrow raised, "Oh James, you shouldn't have!"

"Oh shut up," he grinned at her sarcasm, "I just thought, nice quiet night. You can have what you like and no one can interrupt us."

"You know, we do have our own common room, right?"

"Ha-ha, Lils. I just wanted to do something different. Don't you like it?" he looked momentarily hurt.

"Of course I do. An evening alone with my _boyfriend_, what could be better?" she grinned, leaning in for a quick kiss on the lips before settling down at a nearby table.

"Before we have dinner, I just wanted to give you your present," James said, pulling a small box out of his robes.

"You know, you really didn't have to get me a present, James," Lily tried.

"Lils, I'm your boyfriend, don't be ridiculous!" he replied suavely as he handed her the box. She opened it delicately and unfolder the thin tissue paper within to reveal two small emerald earrings that exactly matched the colour of her eyes.

"Oh, James," she said softly, "They're beautiful."

"A perfect match then," he grinned. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Alright, mister smooth, calm down," she grinned, as she slowly fastened the studs to her ears.

"There? What do you think?" she asked, holding back her hair in a showy manner, quite enjoying playing the centre of attention for a change.

"I think you're exquisite."

"I'm wearing my oldest jeans, James, let's not get carried away," she said, but James could tell she was secretly pleased with his flattery.

"Okay, okay. But I'm pleased you like them. Sirius and Remus thought they were a good idea."

"Well, I must remember to thank them, then," she replied with a smirk.

"I'll try not to be offended," he pouted jokingly. She reached across the table and placed her warm hand on his, "Thank you, James." He simply smiled and kissed the back of her hand in a very gentlemanly way.

"So, what do you want for dinner?" he asked breaking the moment, "Anything you like."

"I'm not fussed, really. How about chips?"

"Chips it is," James concurred happily.

* * *

While Lily and James munched on their starchy dinner, Cat and Sirius had decided to take a walk outside, under the cover of James' cloak. It was nearing the end of winter, but the air was still crisp and there was frost on the ground so the pair snuggled closer under the cloak, using each other's bodies for warmth. They had contemplated going for a fly around the Quidditch pitch but the Ravenclaw team had booked it for practice so they had settled for a walk around the grounds instead.

"Well, it sure has been an interesting few months," Cat noted as they neared the Beech tree near the edge of the lake.

"Sure has. To think, we nearly almost were going to have a kid," Sirius said, saying exactly what was on his mind.

"That was kinda scary," Cat agreed, hugging her arm around his, "What do you think would've happened if I was..?"

"Dunno. I guess we could've still stayed at Hogwarts. Dumbledore's pretty open minded."

"What about after Hogwarts, though?" Sirius shrugged.

"I guess we would've moved in together, or something. Perhaps marriage?" he wondered out aloud.

"Are you joking?" Cat asked in disbelief.

"No. It seems to make sense, don't you think?"

"What? Marrying a girl coz you knocked her up? Oh, that's romantic," she scoffed.

"Who said it was just coz I knocked her up? I meant it's coz I love her."

"You sap!" she said, slapping his arm gently.

"Are you saying you wouldn't want me?" he raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Cat broke out into a giggle.

"What?" he said indignantly.

"You're so sure of yourself. It's just so amusing!"

"Does that mean you won't marry me, then?"

"I never said that," Cat grinned.

"Well, then let's make it official," Sirius said with as much sobriety as he could muster.

"What do you mean?" Cat asked bemusedly, but her face quickly paled as Sirius pulled away from her and bent down on one knee. "Oh you've got to be kidding me," she said quietly.

"No, I'm being completely serious," he said without even flinching.

"Sirius Black, get up off your knee this instant!" Cat ordered, blushing heavily.

"No. I have something very important to ask you," he replied, reaching into his pocket for a small velvet box.

"Sirius, stop it-" Cat began, but she lost all her breath when he opened the box to reveal a small silver ring with a single square-cut diamond in the centre.

"Cat, I know we've only been dating for three months-" he began, but Cat cut him off.

"Three months! Only three months! Don't you think it's too soon to be-"

"Will you let me finish?" he asked irritably. Honestly, anyone being proposed to by the Sirius Black should not be so reluctant or argumentative. Then again, he did so love arguing with her.

"I know we've only been dating three months, but I've known you practically my whole life, and I can't imagine a life without you. The point, Catherine Euphemia Jones, is that I love you. And not just because of what almost happened, but because you're a truly unique and exceptional woman. And, let's face it, the sex is bloody amazing." At which point Cat chuckled appreciatively, although what was in that little box frightened her to pieces.

"And, as you know, there is a war going on. After Hogwarts, we'll be out there in the thick of it, standing up for what's good and right, and fighting in the name of people like your father-" Cat sniffed a bit at this, but Sirius continued. "And it's going to be hard. We're not going to be as well protected out there. We won't have Dumbledore watching our backs twenty-four seven. But I can't think of anyone I would rather fight for or anyone I would rather be facing this battle with than you."

"Sirius-"

"No, please," he begged, "I need to say this and Merlin knows it's going to be sappy, but here goes. You, Cat, are perfect. But what's more, you make me more than I am. When I am around you, I'm a better person for it, and I don't want to ever lose that. I love you, and I respect you and I want to make you laugh and keep you safe until the day I die. So, err, will you marry me?"

Cat gave out a watery and choked giggle, tears sliding down her face, before she nodded slowly.

"Is, is that a..?"

She nodded more vigorously, her face breaking into a wide grin, "Yes!"

"Yes?"

"YES!"

Sirius stood up and slid the ring onto her finger before picking her up by the waist and swinging her around, the pair of them laughing maniacally.

"You know this is absolutely crazy?" Cat yelled over his laughter.

"Yep! Crazy and perfect."

"Oh, wait. I meant to say before," Cat said as Sirius placed her down again.

"Mmm?" he asked, kissing her neck gently.

"You may marry me on one condition."

"And that would be?" he murmured, working his way up her jaw line.

"No more sex until _after_ the wedding."

* * *

AN - so... was that too out of character? i think that sirius' reasons were sufficient: everyone does strange things because none of them know how much longer they have. and cat understands this better than anyone since her dad was killed. and sirius is especially emotional at the moment because james is always with lily and he has no family, and regulus has gone all evil and whatnot.  
anyway, im curious to know what you think. i know it seems like i tried to cram a lot into the one chaper - and i did. it's coz i prefer longer chapters to shorter ones and it seemed to fit together fairly well. but im really tired. i may look at this tomoro and be like wtf? but oh well  
and i think sirius would be kinda disappointed that cat's not pregnant, but maybe that's just coz i want him to be perfect  
please let me know what you think in a review - they absolutely make my day and thanks to all you guys who've stuck with this story (which has been a little bit of a soap-opera of late - but it won't be soon, i promise!!) and who've reviewed - you know who you are. here - have a cyber hug and/or cookie.  
until next time, happy fanficcing :)

in the next chapter: what does harry think about all this marriage business and how will james react to the news of his best-friend's engagement? also, petunia's wedding has been a long time coming, so maybe that will come up...


	33. Lycanthropes, Lying and Legislation

**Disclaimer: **Nope, it's still not mine. Well, the story is, but Harry - alas and alack - is not.

**Dedicated to Potterstoriesrule9600 and heytheregeorgiegirl who rock my world!**

AN - Well, this chapter is Remus based. Gosh - this was meant to be an lj fic with copious amounts of fluff but no - lots of maraudery stuff has invaded my carefully planned plot (snorts in disbelief at there ever being a plan) (but actually there was, and we are straying just a wee bit). but anyway - this is angsty and sad. remus/anna lovers... prepare yourselves  
gosh i sound like such a freak - well, that's what 3.41am does to your brain (but fear not - i can afford to stay up to the wee hours of tomorrow because i have no school this week).  
but yes  
bottom line: fairly angsty chapter - little to no lj fluff (sorry!) - is important in terms of plot development (vaguely) and helps set the characters on the road to pleasing their author who likes everyone to be paired off!! (hint) it also shows why (as if we needed more proof) james is in gryffindor (loyalty, anger on his friend's behalf, etc)  
enjoy!! :)

* * *

**Chapter 32 - Lycanthropes, Lying and Legislation:**

"And then she said 'no more sex until after the wedding'," Sirius exclaimed, "I mean, what sort of evil torture is that?"

"Ah, mate, what do you expect after what nearly happened?" James replied through their two-way mirrors, "I think it's funny." They were sitting in separate detentions for 'accidentally' blowing up a toilet in the girls' lavatories. McGonagall had not been at all amused.

"Funny? FUNNY! How on EARTH is this FUNNY?" Sirius yelled, looking quite deranged. James just chuckled more heartily.

"I think it's funny because the self-professed sex god and ladies' man of Hogwarts has decided to settle down with the girl of his dreams, and yet he will be denied one of his favourite things as a reward for his seemingly noble and romantic gesture," he managed, wiping the corners of his eyes.

"Well, I'd like to see how you'd take it if good old Lily-flower told you no hanky-panky til after you're married," Sirius retorted.

"I would gladly wait til the end of time for that girl, and you know it," James smirked, "Just coz you can't keep it in your pants-"

"I can too keep it in my pants. And I'm going to have to now, coz of this bloody stupid rule. And I think it just might kill me."

"All I can say is it was nice knowing you," James grinned, "So what has McGonagall got you doing anyway?"

"Lines. You?"

"Yeah, same. It's lucky she didn't check us for wands. Now she can't stop us from using that handy spell."

"What was it again?"

"_Geminio _- the copying spell."

"Cool, thanks… oh, bugger!"

"What?"

"She's charmed the parchment so that I can't copy what I've written. The sneaky minx!"

"She knows us too well. We'd better go and actually write the lines then. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah. But Prongs, don't tell anyone about me and Cat. We want to kinda keep it a secret - it's so soon and everything, you know?"

"Sure, Pads, my lips are sealed. See you."

"Later, mate."

As James made his way back to the Head's Common Room (after three hours of hard detention - honestly, it was a _toilet!_) he contemplated his discussion with Sirius. For all his complaining to Lily about Sirius potentially getting married, he hadn't actually thought that his friend would go through with it. Sirius was never this, well, serious about anything! He ultimately decided to be happy for his friend, even though his engagement seemed to signify the end of the Marauders as the most troublesome one of the four had decided to become responsible. James sighed heavily to himself as he turned the corridor, not even noticing where he was going. That is until he bumped into a soft, significantly shorter body, sending the pair of them tumbling to the floor.

"Sorry," James apologised, looking up from where he was sprawled on his backside, "I wasn't watching where- Anna!" he exclaimed in surprise. The blonde looked up at him with big blue eyes - which seemed to be slightly frightened - before she sprung to her feet.

"No problem, James, I'll just be-"

"Wait!" James said, before he could stop himself. Anna turned back to face him, that look of apprehension returning.

"I want to talk to you about Remus," James said evenly. Anna swallowed and nodded. She should have known this would be coming - she was surprised it had taken one of the Marauders this long to seek her out in the first place.

"Let's walk," James suggested; Anna fell into step with him as he changed route back towards the Gryffindor Common Room. After a rather lengthy pause, during which Anna fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt and James collected his thoughts, he spoke.

"How?" he said simply. Anna looked at him questioningly.

"How could you do this to him, Anna?" he said in a pained voice. Anna looked away again, her eyes quickly filling with hot tears that she attempted to hold back.

"I haven't done anything to him," she replied stubbornly.

"You know what I'm talking about, Brown," James said in an annoyed tone, "He told you and you just, just rejected him. Like he was unworthy or something. I just don't get it."

"I didn't reject him, Potter. I just need time to think."

"Time to think? Time to bloody think!" James said indignantly. "Anna, he told you his biggest secret. The secret to end all secrets. Do you know how hard that was for him? Do you understand what a big deal this is? It took him ages to tell _us_ and we shared a dormitory with him. We practically had to beat it out of him. But no. For you he confessed. At risk of losing you and having his secret made public, he told you-"

"I would never tell another _soul_ what he told me," Anna hissed, trying with all her might not to cry.

"But he still told you! Don't you get it! Do you seriously not understand how difficult it was for him to tell you that? And then you just dump him. You didn't even speak to him!" James was struggling to keep his voice low. The corridors were deserted but he didn't want to run the risk of anyone overhearing their little argument.

"I was in shock, okay? My boyfriend had just told me that once every four weeks he turns into an uncontrollable monster - do you understand how that feels?-"

"Of course I do - I love him like a brother-"

"But I'm in love with him!" Anna cried, tears spilling out, "And he was lying to me all this time. Lying to me. Keeping secrets!"

"You hypocrite!" James yelled, "You went sneaking off screwing that bloody Slytherin last year but you didn't tell Moony. You kept secrets too! And Moony can't help it that he's a you-know-what! You can't even compare situations. You kept things from him for selfish reasons. He can't help what he is, Anna!"

"I know that!"

"Then how could you do it? How could you be such a heartless bitch?"

There was silence, as Anna stared defiantly at James with tears running down her face. Then her anger seemed to melt away and was replaced by a look of utter inconsolability.

"I'm scared."

"Scared of what? Werewolves?"

"...Commitment."

"That's stupid."

"I know."

"You should apologise," James said and Anna nodded, "And it had better be a good apology, too. You really hurt him, Anna."

"I know," she repeated, looking meekly at the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Just apologise, okay?"

Anna nodded wordlessly. She looked suddenly so meek and unsure that James felt a sudden and unexpected surge of sympathy towards the girl. Despite the fact that she had hurt Remus, she might genuinely have not realised her actions until it was too late. James decided to give her the benefit of the doubt on this occasion and offered to walk her back. She accepted gratefully, and they walked back to the common room - Anna's heart going a million miles an hour, and James' brain telling him that Remus had better actually want Anna back.

* * *

"It's absolutely beautiful!" Lily exclaimed, "Who knew Sirius Black had such good taste?"

Cat giggled appreciatively and Lily joined in. They were sitting on Cat's bed in the rather deserted Gryffindor seventh year dorm. Cat had just explained the details of Sirius' proposal and shown Lily the ring.

"I can't believe it, though. Less than twenty-four hours ago I was in a hospital wing, freaking out that I might be pregnant and now here I am, seventeen years old and engaged to the hottest boy in the school. When did that happen?" Cat grinned.

"When did any of the Marauders decide to grow up," the red head countered with a grin, "And when did we all get so close?"

"I think it's because of the war," Cat said a little sadly.

"People are getting married a lot younger these days, I suppose," Lily said.

"It's more than that, though. It's like… people aren't sure how long they will have. One day your number might be up and you'll be killed. Just like that." She paused.

"And people are wanting to live as much as they can. I reckon that's why we're all so close. We don't want to waste time."

"That's probably part of the reason I gave into James," Lily said with a small smile.

"Yeah, there is that. That and the fact that you two are just meant for each other and you were only too stubborn to see it before."

"Shut up! It was the same with you and Black."

"No it was not!"

"Sure it was. You two have been family friends forever, and when he moved in with James he was even more so. And let's face it, you're pretty alike."

"We are not! You take that back right now!"

"No, you are, truly! You both like Quidditch, you both _love _breakfast, you both do astronomy-"

"Yeah, so we can take naps-"

"I rest my case."

"Oh holy Merlin. I _am_ like Sirius. This is a worry," Cat said with a grin.

"I just can't believe you're getting married. It's all happening so soon."

"I know. We've only been dating three months," Cat grinned again.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, though," Lily said seriously, "I mean, this isn't just for a laugh. This is a long-term commitment."

"You know what they say, Lils, 'when you know, you know' and I know that this is right," Cat said sagely. Lily considered these words for a moment before smiling warmly at her best friend.

"I'm really happy for you… And I can't wait to tell everyone else-"

"Oh, Lils, you can't!" Cat interrupted, "We're keeping it a sort of secret. Coz it's so soon and I don't think my mum would approve-"

"How come?"

"I'm only seventeen. And he's a Black."

"Why should that matter?"

"It doesn't. But we want to keep it a secret, okay? Please, Lils!"

"Sure, sure. Where's Anna, though, she needs to know."

"I don't know. We're not as close as we used to be, you know. After that whole incident with the vanishing cupboard and then me and Sirius - we've kinda drifted."

"I know what you mean. But we should still tell her, I think," Lily suggested.

"Okay. Let's go see where she's gotten to. Probably in the common room moping about her and Remus."  
Lily remained silent. Of course she knew the real reason why the two were fighting, but Cat wasn't aware (as far as Lily knew) of Remus' condition. They headed down the stairs, Cat pocketing her ring as they went, and quickly scanned the room for any sign of Anna.

"Who's that?" Lily said, before she could help herself. Cat followed her gaze to where the aforementioned werewolf was sitting. Remus was sitting in one of the study chairs along the wall furthest from the portrait hole chatting animatedly with the pretty Ravenclaw sixth year that Sirius had taken to the Halloween Ball.

"That's Freya. She's in my astronomy class with Anna and Sirius. I think she and Remus are doing some sort of extra-credit project together. Some extra-curricular thing."

At that moment, Anna walked through the portrait hole with James, looking particularly dishevelled and emotionally unstable. She did a quick survey of the room, before her eyes found Remus'. She looked at him as if deciding whether to be angry or upset or apologetic. In this split second, Remus looked very much like he wanted to speak to the blonde, but then a hurt expression flitted across his eyes. He tore his gaze away from Anna and instead leant across to where Freya was sitting and kissed her full on the lips.

**Inside Anna's Head:**

There he is. I should tell him I'm sorry.

But he lied to me - why should I be the one to apologise?

What's he doing with Freya?

I don't know what to say.

Oh my god! What is he doing?

That jerk! I cannot believe this.

To think, I was about to freakin' apologise!

Screw him!

**Inside Remus' Head:**

What is she saying? I've stopped listening - Anna just walked in with James.

What is it - why is she staring at me?

She looks sad… no, now she looks angry.

She has _no_ right to be angry with me. She rejected me.

You know what, I'm going to make _her_ hurt.

I hope Freya won't mind.

* * *

"Oh no, this isn't good," Lily said as she and Cat watched Remus making out with the Ravenclaw - who seemed not to mind too much.

"What is he doing?" Cat said, eyes wide, "Doesn't he know that Anna is watching?"

"He knows," Lily said darkly. She looked across and caught James' eye. Lily shook her head slightly as if to say 'what did you do that for?' to which James responded with a bewildered shrug of the shoulders as if to reply 'I didn't know that was going to happen'. Then Anna was on the stairs, pushing past her two best friends and slamming the door behind her. Remus seemed to come up for air at this point, looking at once pleasantly dishevelled and vaguely horrified.

"I am so sorry. I don't know where that came from. I just.. And then we, because, well… Anna was there, and well-"

"It's okay, Remus. I get it. You wanted to make her angry," Freya interrupted.

"Well, sort of, yeah. But I didn't mean to… well, I'm sorry - I didn't even think about you."

"It's okay. Antipathy between Jupiter and Ganymede - it explains your… state," she smiled weakly.

"Err, right," Remus smiled weakly, "I'm really sorry, though."

"It's okay. Just next time don't use me to get back at your ex, alright?" she said with a sympathetic smile. Remus nodded ashamedly. "Now that we're done with the project, though, do you know where Jon is? I should probably tell him about this little incident before he hears about it from someone else."

"He should be upstairs in the dorm - want me to go get him?"

"No, it's okay. I'll see you later, Remus. Thanks for a great snog," she grinned. The werewolf at least had the decency to blush, before he was approached by a confused looking James, an angry looking Cat and a disappointed looking Lily.

"Moony, what the hell was that?" James asked.

"I know she didn't tell you about Triscombe, but you didn't have to go off snogging other girls right in front of her," Cat said with a frown.

"I know, I know," he said defensively, annoyed that Cat couldn't understand the situation properly, considering she didn't know about his condition.

"I thought you were better than this, Remus," Lily said, voice heavy with disappointment, "I know she hurt you but-"

"Yes, she hurt me. More than once and you know what I mean," he said accusingly at Lily and James, "Can't you understand how for once, I want someone else to feel the hurt that I felt. Can't you see it from my point of view for a change?"

"Remus, it-"

"No, Lily, you listen to me. She kept things from me and then she judges me for what I am. You can't defend that. What I did might not have been nice, and I get that it was unnecessary, but I have had it with her. I've had it with being treated like this."  
Cat just shook her head and headed up the stairs to speak with Anna. Lily, unable to look at Remus in the eyes (for she knew he was right) followed wordlessly. James simply looked at his friend, shocked that he had been so ignorant of the lycanthrope's suffering. He and Sirius had told Remus to move on with someone else or give it time - they had both been so wrapped up in their own relationships that they had overlooked their often withdrawn and emotionally complicated friend.

"Moony, I'm-" James began.

"Save it, James, I don't need a lecture on how what I did was wrong," his friend replied irritably.

"I know. I wasn't going to lecture you, mate." Remus raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"I just wanted to apologise."

"Huh?"

"Me and Pads haven't been around as much lately. I've been so preoccupied with Lils that I hardly noticed what was going on with you and I'm really sorry." Remus nodded slightly to indicate that he had heard James' words.

"And Padfoot, well, he means well but he is really stuck on Cat."

"Yeah, I know, they really do work well together I spose," Remus muttered, beginning to head back to the boys' dormitory.

"Yeah, well you'd hope so, considering…"

"Considering what?"

"Sirius asked her to marry him."

"He did WHAT!?" Remus practically yelled, coming to a standstill on the stairs.

"Yeah, apparently last night while I was with Lily, he and Cat were having a nice little stroll on the grounds and he bloody asks her to marry him."

"She didn't say yes?"

"Of course she did - you've seen them together," James said with a small grin. Remus nodded again and continued to climb the staircase.

"Well, I'm happy for them, despite how out of character this seems for Sirius."

"There is pretty much a war on, Moony. People do crazy things."

"Yeah…"

"Anyway, don't tell anyone about it. And act surprised when he decides to tell you, coz I was supposed to keep it a secret."

"Secret?"

"He was going to tell you to, I just got there first, sorry."

"It's all good."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"What did she say to you?"

"Huh?" James responded, completely blindsided.

"What did Anna say to you? I saw you two come in together. She must've said something?"

"Oh, right, that. I just ran into her on the way back from detention and got stuck into her about mistreating you. She got all defensive about how you didn't tell her-"

"But she's a bloody hypocrite-"

"Yes, _I _know that," James said soothingly, "But then she said she still liked you and I persuaded her to get over her commitment phobia. She decided to talk to you and then, well…. You and Freya were a bit too close together, if you get what I mean."

"So she was going to apologise then?"

"I don't want to get your hopes up, Moony, but I think she would've lost her nerve. Some people just can't cope with this stuff, you know?" Again Remus nodded sadly. Secretly, James thought that Anna probably would've tried to apologise - she had seemed genuine enough before when they were talking in the corridor. But he couldn't bear for his friend to get his hopes up only to suffer another heartbreak, so he continued.

"I think you're well shot of her anyway. You deserve better."

"You said that before."

"Yeah, I know. But now you know better. You can't tell me she's worth it."  
Remus thought for a few minutes, considering things carefully - as was his nature.

"No. She's not worth it." James internally sighed in relief. No more vulnerable, mope-y Moony.

"Sorry, Moony. But at least you can see it now. Listen, I'm gonna go back to my room and do some extra charms work. Will you be alright til Sirius gets back?"

"Yes, James. I'll be fine," Remus said with a small sigh of exasperation and a tiny smile.

"Later Moony," James said before leaving the werewolf alone.

Remus walked into their dormitory - it was empty - and slowly sat down on his bed by the window. He looked outside into the blackness. A single tear slipped down his cheek and he hastily swiped it away, reaching for a text book and burying himself in his studies before he could have time to feel.

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary:

I don't understand how Anna was placed in Gryffindor sometimes, I really don't. She completely disappointed me and I have no idea how poor Remus must be feeling, but…. Grrr!

And Cat doesn't understand the whole situation so naturally she'll take Anna's side, but really I think Anna was the one in the wrong.

My heart just goes out to Remus - I know I can't even begin to understand the prejudices he has to face with his stigma but I can see that Anna really messed things up.

He told her on my recommendation - about his problem, that is.

Not only have I helped ruin what was truly a good relationship, but I have proved that I do not know my friends nearly at all as well as I thought I did. First it's Cat sleeping with Sirius, now it's Anna having prejudices against werewolves. I know she said it was her fear of commitment, but that's just a cop out, if you ask me. Anna said to me not a week ago about how she could change her flighty ways if she wanted to - and she told me she _did _want to. But she was lying.

Merlin! I am so angry at the girl and I can't even work out why - she is one of my closest friends, too!

_Maybe it's because you found out that she's bigoted and prejudiced_

There are those annoying voices again!

_No, seriously. Her sleeping with a Slytherin started off these doubts and now her rejection of the werewolf proves it._

Proves what?

_That you're no longer as close or accepting of Anna_

Yeah, but why?

_Because if she enjoys Slytherin company and if she cannot be with the boy she likes simply because of his lycanthropy, then you are obviously going to be concerned that she will not like you for who you are._

She's been my friend since first year, though. What could possibly change her mind?

_Perhaps a little thing we like to call a war._

Huh?

_A war in which people of pureblood status who possess that pureblood mania kill people like you._

Don't be ridiculous - Anna would never betray me or any of my friends!

_I'm not saying she would. I'm just trying to explain to you the little voices in your head and how they represent your subconscious at large. _

Okay, enough copying down the arguments in my head. I think I just seriously need some sleep. Honestly, Anna would never chose the wrong side in a war. I can't let one silly slip up (well, two if you count Triscombe) change my opinion of her.

She must have a good heart in there somewhere.

I'm going to bed. I'll speak to James about it in the morning. Perhaps he'll understand.

* * *

The following morning - a Sunday - Lily padded down the stairs to find an angry James staring moodily into the fire. Not wanting to 'anger the beast' - for she knew how tetchy he could be when he hadn't had his breakfast - she silently sat down beside him and looked at him questioningly until he acknowledged her presence. He grunted and nodded his head in the direction of the paper on the table.

"What's wrong?" she asked, hoping that her boyfriend wasn't grumpy over a poor Quidditch result… again.

"Read it. It's vulgar," he replied shortly, before getting up and walking into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. _I wonder what's got his wand in a knot_, Lily thought to herself as she unfurled the newspaper. Upon reading the headline, she understood.

* * *

**New Legislation Causes Distress Among Minority Groups**

Late last night, the minister for magic, Millicent Bagnold, announced the introduction of new laws regarding the employment of mix-bred magical beings in the public services. According to the new legislation, which will be introduced at the end of next month, those in the magical community who come under the broad heading of 'mix-bred beings' will have to undergo thorough screening and background checks before being allowed work in areas such as teaching, healing, or any position in the Ministry of Magic. This will ultimately make employment more difficult for those affected by the legislation, including werewolves, half-giants, half-veela, centaurs and goblins.

It has been argued, throughout time, what defines a beast or mix-bred being. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures divides the heading of 'magical creatures' into three sections: beast, being and spirit. The being is clearly defined as a creature in possession of magical power with 'sufficient intelligence to understand the laws of the magical community and to bear part of the responsibility in shaping those laws'. The minister made it clear last night that the new laws only apply to these 'beings' of mix-magical lineage or with 'creature-like' tendencies due to the fact that they already operate in our society. However, the Ministry has assured us that the legislation will not affect witches and wizards specifically.

This 'being' classification includes humans (witches and wizards - not squibs, necessarily), goblins, hags and vampires. Centaurs and merpeople are said to have rejected 'being' status in favour of beast status, but as far as werewolves are concerned there is no definitive category. The unclear nature of werewolf, as well as half-giant and half-veela status, means that they are the main target under the new laws. In fact, werewolves have been shunted between the being and beast divisions for many years, since the official release of definitions in 1811.

This fact was brought up in the press conference shortly following the official ministry announcement. When questioned as to whether she thought that the legislation was hypocritical and based on ancient prejudices, the minister replied "I have only the best interests of the magical community at heart. It is the view of the Ministry that the people will be better protected through these restrictions upon potentially dangerous and unbalanced members of society. Those who see bigotry and prejudice are blind to the greater good."

In spite of the minister's insistence that the bold move by the Ministry is in pursuit of 'the greater good' many have voiced concerns about the drastic changes.

"These new laws will make it virtually impossible for so called 'half-breeds' and werewolves to find suitable employment," argued Ms Kettleburn - teacher of Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - "Having studied extensively in the field of magical creatures and completing a paper on the living habits of werewolves, I have evidence that they are not creatures of any sort, but unfortunate individuals who have slight problems once a month. They should not be discriminated for something that is out of their control."

Chief of the Wizengamot and Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, shares Kettleburn's fairly unique view. "It is inadvisable for the Ministry to introduce these new laws, if not for the well being of all magical creatures then for the equality and compassion that we should be compelled to show one another at all times. It is a short throw from imposing harsh laws on those in society who are labelled 'different' to joining the ranks of so called 'purists' whose aim it is to 'cleanse' the world of muggle-borns."

While we at _The Daily Prophet_ do not wish to take sides in the debate, we do urge all in the magical community to read page six - a listing of the dangers of half breeds and werewolves - as it is in the best safety interests of the people.

In the following weeks we shall be doing a more detailed look into the nature of the new laws and just what it means for our society.

* * *

Lily finished reading the article and felt the bile rise in her throat. The injustice of the situation made her want to be physically sick. Admittedly, had she not known a werewolf personally, she might not have been quite as outraged, but it would've clashed with her humanitarian side in either case. Without thinking, or knocking, she barged straight into the bathroom.

"How can they do this?" she cried angrily, as though it was all James' fault. Then she saw that all James was wearing was a towel around his waist.

"Ahh! Cripes, Evans, you nearly gave me a heart attack," James said as his hands flew protectively to his… manly regions.

"Sorry! I didn't think to knock," she replied, her cheeks flushing a deep red as she spun around to face the wall, "But this is just disgusting." She held up the newspaper, still facing the wall. She heard James mutter something, before she turned around to see him fully clothed (although his top button was undone, revealing that lovely smelling part of his neck - _Focus, Lily!_).

"I know. How the Ministry could do something like that is beyond me," James replied, leading the way back out of the bathroom and giving Lily a kiss on the cheek on the way out.

"If you'll allow me to digress for just a moment," he added, "You turned mighty red back there, Lils, are you okay?"

"Of- of course. I'm just fine," she replied, trying with all her might not to blush again.

"Coz it seems to me that you were a smidge embarrassed about seeing me in next to nothing."

"Don't be ridiculous!" she scoffed, trying to hide what was obviously going on in her head, "You're my boyfriend. I have a right to see you in next to nothing whenever I want."

"Really?" he raised both his eyebrows. She blushed again. "Ha! I knew it! Lily Evans gets faint when looking at me without a shirt on!"

"Can we please get back to the matter at hand?" she urged, shaking the _Prophet_ about as they walked out to the little breakfast table that Ellie had once again prepared for them.

"Oh, that. I much prefer talking about us," he said with a frown, "That article really makes my blood boil."

"I know! How can they do something like this?" Lily said, matching his frown, as he pushed her chair in for her before sitting down opposite.

"It's just not fair!" James said, slamming down the pitcher of pumpkin juice and it sloshing everywhere, "I mean, how is Moony going to get a job after Hogwarts now? It'll be virtually impossible."

"I was thinking the exact same thing. Werewolves already have a massive stigma attached to their condition - people are reluctant to hire them in the first place. Now they'll have a legitimate reason to turn him down."

"He never shows any emotion about this sort of stuff. He'll just brush it away and say things like 'well, I'll just have to make the best of it, won't I?' and 'I'm a werewolf, I understand why people don't want to be around me'. It's stuff like this - stuff like Anna, too - that make him feel worthless. I hate that he feels like that," James said, a hint of sadness in his anger.

"What I don't get, is why are the Ministry doing this now? Of all the times they could've picked to introduce pointless laws! They need to be focusing on fighting Voldemort and his lot-"

"Yeah, but that's just it. They need to be seen to be doing something. Did you read page six?" he asked. Lily shook her head.

"Basically, it's telling us that giants and werewolves and all them are apparently being recruited by Voldemort. They're 'dark' creatures that need a leader." Lily just looked confused.

"_The Prophet_ are vilifying werewolves, Lil, that's why they've introduced the legislation - they need to be seen to be doing something. They are supposedly 'protecting us' from harm."

"That is downright low!" Lily exclaimed, "Those filthy, power-abusing, manipulative-"

There was a sharp knock at their door.

"That's Padfoot," James said instinctively, hurrying back inside to let in his best friend. Lily followed close on his heels, deciding now was not the time to tease him about knowing Sirius' individual door-knocking style. Sirius burst into the room, clutching a crumpled piece of paper in his hand and looking livid.

"Have you seen this!?" he cried in a wild manner. Lily was quite taken aback - she had seen the many sides of Sirius Black (the charming, the goofy, the arrogant, the soppy romantic, and the cool/detached) but never had she seen him as angry as he was now.

"I know! It's insane!" James said, equalling his friend's volume, and working himself back into the state he had been in before.

"How's Moony ever going to get a job?"

"How's he ever going to make any money?"

"What if he moves away?"

"What if we never see him again?"

"What if-"

"Shush!" Lily yelled - they had been yelling without even realising. Both turned to look at her: James was stunned and Sirius was angry.

"You both need to calm down - yes, this is awful, but speculating on it won't do any good. We need to speak to someone in authority," she commanded.

"Sorry, Lily," James said, "Didn't mean to yell again," he looked sheepish.

"Do you reckon Dumbledore will be able to do something about it?" Sirius asked.

"Well from the sounds of the article, he's already tried," Lily said glumly.

"But he's the best shot we've got," James said, grabbing the map and his wand, "Let's go."

And so the three teens set off to find their Headmaster. Of course, none of them had the faintest idea what he could possibly do about the situation, but clearly if anyone could do anything it would be him. Of course, after they discovered Dumbledore was not in his office (or, in fact, anywhere in the school) they resolved to find Remus and offer him support - Merlin knew he'd need it.

* * *

Meanwhile, Anna was sitting up brooding over her own problems. She hadn't seen the newpaper article yet, but her mind was still stuck on werewolves.  
She couldn't talk to Cat - she didn't know about Remus. She couldn't talk to Lily - she was in the Heads' Dorm and, in any case, didn't seem too pleased with Anna at the moment. Of course Sirius, Peter and James were all on Remus' side. All in all, it seemed that Anna didn't really have any allies. Being popular with the boys made it difficult for her to have female friends, and even though she had Lily and Cat, she had always wondered what it would be like to be a part of a massive group. She probably could be if she could make the effort, but there had always been other things on her mind. She stared out the window as she mulled over things in her head.

**Inside Anna's Head:**

I hate this! I want to scream. I don't want to be deemed certifiably nuts, ergo I cannot scream. Wanting to scream and not being able to just makes me want to scream even more.

And the reason is because I still love him.

I don't understand it.

Okay, Anna, think. Why do you like him? Why, in the name of Merlin's saggy bits do you like him?

He's smart and quiet. Different from the rest. He's nice and sweet and thoughtful and honest. No, wait. Scratch that last one.

He lied to me.

Kept his condition a secret.

_Yeah, but you would've done, too, if you had a secret like that. _

No, I wouldn't!  
_  
Two words: Edmond Triscombe_

Different matter altogether!

_No. You kept secrets from him. He kept secrets from you. Sounds like the perfect relationship to me._

That's ridiculous!

_That's ridiculous? Honey, you're the one having an argument inside your own head. _

I know - I've finally lost the plot. But what can I do about it?

_Talk to him_

NO WAY! Not after what he did last night!

_He only did that to make you upset_

And it bloody worked! I don't need that right now. So I've made mistakes and errors in judgement - don't I deserve a second chance?

_Preaching to the converted. You need to tell _Remus_ not yourself - you already know how you feel. _

I don't suppose you're going to shut up until I go talk to him, are you?

_Sweetie-pie, I'm you. You could've stopped listening ages ago but you know I'm right._

I'll take that as a yes, then.

_Take it as you like. All I can say is that dark blur hurrying across the grounds looks suspiciously like the werewolf in question so I'd get a wriggle on if I were you._

You are me, stupid.

_Don't be so self-depreciating. _

Stop it. All those big words are reminding me of Remus.

Oh, bugger it. I may as well go and talk to him. I'll leave Cat a note, just in case she gets worried. Doubt she'll be up soon, though, what with all those wedding dreams she'll be happily sleeping through.

* * *

Remus strode through the crisp morning air. It was the first day of February and although the snow had disappeared, it was still exceedingly cold. But that didn't matter for Remus, because as clichéd as it may sound, his anger and indignation was burning like a fire within him.

He had always been a rather acquiescent sort of person. He had accepted his condition and had tried to make the best of it. He had ignored it when his parents lied about why he couldn't play with the other children. He had shrugged off the rejections he had received when looking for a part time job during fourth year. He had pretended not to hear the snide comments about 'half-bloods' or 'filthy half-breeds' that he heard more and more often. But he had had enough.

Over the past twenty four hours, something in Remus Lupin had changed. The report in the paper that morning had been the final straw. He had never told anyone, but his two main career goals were to be an auror or to work as a teacher. Defence had always been one of his top subjects and the thought of taking part in the fight against Voldemort and his followers made Remus feel in control - for once he would be able to compensate for his being a werewolf. And he'd be proving all those people - like the people who wrote for _The Prophet_ - wrong, for they would understand that not all werewolves were bad, dark creatures.

Secondly, he had always enjoyed tutoring other students and, being naturally both bright and hardworking, he figured that teaching would be a perfect profession for him. And, if he was lucky, he'd be able to stay at Hogwarts - one of the few places he felt happy.

But it was not meant to be. Not now. Not after these new laws were imposed.

As he reached the edge of the forest the injustice of it all just welled up inside him and he aimed an angry kick at the nearest tree. Unfortunately for him, it was full of bowtruckles, and he wasn't allowed the luxury of staying there and kicking it a good deal more. Instead, he walked further into the forest. Who cared that it was off-bounds to students. Remus had been in there plenty of times with the other Marauders and besides, at this point in time Remus really didn't give a sodding snidget about the rules.

He got about fifty metres into the forest before the trees and foliage became denser and his ragged breathing began to calm down. Students had always found this space frightening - afraid of the terrible monsters that might set upon them should they dare enter the forest. For the lycanthrope, on the other hand, the forest (or its outskirts, at least) was a quiet, peaceful place where he could just relax. Although his time in the forest was mostly spent as Moony and not Remus, it was also a reminder of the strong and loyal friends he had at Hogwarts and this made it one of his preferred areas on the grounds. He sat down on a fallen log and put his head in his hands, massaging his eyes with his palms. If someone had found him, they might've thought he had been crying. Or, at least, that is what Anna thought when she finally found him.

"Remus? Is that you?" she called through the gloom, her voice unsure and unsteady. She had followed his pathway out the window and when she had seen him disappear into the forest she had decided that this was the ideal time for her to confront him. At the sound of Anna's voice, Remus stood up suddenly and whipped around, wearing a shocked expression that soon turned to one of anger.

"What do you want?" he demanded.

"I need to talk to you," she said evenly. If he was going to make this difficult, too bad because two can play at that game.

"I have nothing to say to you, Anna," he said, that anger still there.

"Well, I do so sit down and listen," she commanded, pointing to the log.

"And what make you think I would do anything you say?" he glared, "You have no idea what you put me through." His tone was low and ached with hurt, but still she did not give in.

"Let me explain-"

"No! You don't get it! I'm done putting up with this crap, Anna," he yelled suddenly. "All my bloody life I've been treated differently because of this. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to treat me differently. But finally I tell you and look what happens!"  
Tears began to trickle down Anna's face as she tried to build a case for her defence.

"Come on, Remus! You can't just tell me something like that out of the blue and then expect me to be over the bloody moon!" she cried, wincing internally at her choice of expression.

"Do you have any idea what it took me to get up the courage to tell you that?" he flung back. "It's my life. It's who I am and I can't change it! And you- you just rejected it. Walked out on me like I was some sort of disease or curse or something-"

"I was in bloody shock! Why can't _you_ see that?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was because I was too busy having my heart broken!"

"You really are something, you know that?"

"How so?" he asked in a low voice, daring her to attack him when she was so clearly in the wrong.

"I get up the courage to tell you about my problems with Edmond and you get angry at me. Then you decide that it's okay for you to get upset, but I'm not allowed to? Double standards! And then when I'm ready to apologise I find you sharing saliva with that Ravenclaw!"

"Oh, when _you're_ ready to apologise?" he said sarcastically, "That's such bull. You weren't going to apologise - you're too afraid of 'commitment'," he made quoting signs with his hands, mocking her.

"You know I am!" she cried angrily, "But I'm trying to change. I told you about Edmond-"

"And I forgave you for that - that's why I told you about my condition - because I loved you. I LOVED YOU!" he roared. Anna seemed to be stunned into silence, so Remus took the opportunity to rant a little more.

"The bottom line is that I told you the most important thing I can ever tell anyone, and you threw it back in my face and made me feel like nothing. I loved you but you couldn't love me back," he finished, his voice so soft Anna dared not believe he had just said those words.

"Do you really believe that?" she whispered, cheeks damp with tears. He regarded her with sad, searching eyes before they became hard and cold.

"Yes." And with that he stood and walked further into the forest leaving Anna behind, knowing that she had just ruined her chances with the one boy she needed more than anything. When Lily, James and Sirius found her there, about ten minutes later, Lily offered to take her back to Gryffindor tower and the boys agreed to keep looking for their friend.

James had told them both of Anna's seemingly genuine sentiments, and anyone could see how hurt Remus was (not that the new legislation was helping much) and since then, they had all decided that drastic measures needed to be taken. It was time for Operation Pick up the Pieces.

* * *

AN - Okay, so it's a sort of strange place to end, but this chapter was difficult to write. I've always loved remus, but ive decided that he can't be all lovely and perfect all the time. the prejudices he faces must get him down sometimes and obviously anna treated him terribly and then the newspaper article snapped him. of course, the kissing the other girl bit - that may have been a bit ooc - but he's an emotional werewolf teenage boy with raging hormones and a broken heart, so i figure he can get away with it. basically, i thought it was about time he said how he truly felt. and sad though it was (well, i think it's sad) it was necessary.  
Also, i know i said there would be more harry (i lied - whoops!) and petunia's wedding but this seemed to flow logically next. Like i say, my characters never do what i want them to do!  
ps i got the facts on werewolves and classifications and whatnot from _fantastic beasts and where to find them_ to add continuity to the story. also, millicent bagnold was minister for magic between 1980 and 1990 but there wasn't a minister listed for before hand so i just used her.

Next time: will anna and remus get back together? (originally i didn't want them to, but you sort of have to look at things from anna's point of view - she can't be all bad). will remus get drunk and spill some more? (i sure hope so - but in a classy way not a piss-pot sort of way). will lily find an appropriate outfit for james to wear to the wedding? (that's right - lot's of lj fluff to make up for the lack of in this chapter)  
SO STAY TUNED! It's not all soap-opera, i promise!

Thanks so much to all you lovely reviewers - you all absolutely make my day! if you have time to review this chapter too, it'd be muchly appreciated. any suggestions of what to include are welcomed. eg Inkani suggested i include snape which i might very well do if he slots in nicely. so do review - thanks again! and happy fanficcing :)


	34. Operation Pick up the Pieces and a sh

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter.

AN - Remus and Anna - together or not? this chapter explains it all.  
It's super long because the anna and remus stuff took up a lot of time but then i wanted to squeeze in some lj action, so i stuck it on the end even though it could feasibly be it's own chapter. i really hope you don't mind.  
thank you all for your reviews and suggestions on what to do. unfortunately i couldn't listen to all of you because not everyone agreed on what should happen, so i hope i don't disappoint, but this is what i think is most realistic in terms of characters and plot development.  
ENJOY! :)

* * *

**Chapter 33 - Operation Pick up the Pieces and a shopping trip:**

It was now Thursday night the following week. After the major screaming match between Anna and Remus, the pair had seemed able to coexist quite peacefully. If by peacefully you mean able to be in the same room as long as they avoid eye contact, talking or, in fact, acknowledging the other person's presence.

With Remus' permission, Sirius had told Cat about the lycanthropy - after all, she was going to marry a Marauder. It seemed only fair that she knew… most of their secrets. In fact, Sirius had been working up the courage to tell her about his animagus status - but he wasn't _quite_ ready yet.

So now that Cat, Sirius, Lily and James had all decided that it would be in the best interests of all concerned that Anna and Remus got back together, or at least went back to being on friendly terms, so they had devised a plan.

Although there had been disagreements in the beginning (Cat: But, James, you said that he was well shot of her, and after hearing this, I sort of agree. James: No, she genuinely likes him. She was just freaking out. Come on, Moony needs our help) they had concluded that the only way they could get the pair back together would be to have them speak the whole uninterrupted truth to one another. This left the gang with only one option: the return of truth or dare.

* * *

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Cat:**

You know, I have no idea when I started to think it was okay to write notes in class but I just can't seem to stop myself this year.

**Ah, Lily-flower, we're rubbing off on you, plain and simple. **

Firstly, I now feel unclean. And secondly, let's get down to business.

**How're we going to get them to sit in the same room for an extended period of time?**

It's simple. We don't tell them that the other will be there. We lock the door, make everyone swear to play by the rules and potentially break out some firewhiskey.

**We know Remus can be a bit reckless when he's sad so we may as well use that to our advantage. **

_Don't you think that's kind of wrong?_

I'm inclined to agree with Peter. Getting Remus drunk won't solve anything.

**Ah, but getting Remus AND Anna drunk might**

You are sounding more and more like Black every day.

**Don't make me hex you, Lily**

**Hey! I'm not sure how offended I should be by that statement!**Fairly offended, mate. But, guys, seriously. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

Okay, fine. We can have the whiskey but I swear if anyone finds out that I gave my consent I will die!

Better eat the parchment then, Lils

**Eww! I can't believe she just took a chunk out of the corner. Even I wouldn't do that!****No, but I've seen you eat much more solid things. Like underwear, so you just stop talking**

Okay, way too much information for my innocent, virginal ears!

_Pfft, as if you're a virgin!_

Hey, I am too! Don't you go around impugning my honour!

What honour?

Oi!

But back to the point

Yes, Operation 'Pick up the pieces'

**Why did we chose that name again?**

It seemed appropriate at the time, don't you think?

**No**

Well you come up with one, then!

**Okay, Operation Get-Remus-blindingly-drunk-and-force-he-and-Anna-to-kiss-and-make-up. We can call it Operation GRBDAFHAATKAMU for short.**

Or we could not.

Besides, getting Remus drunk is not integral to the success of our plot. 

Ah, there's the Head Girl we know and love.

Glares

Falls silent.

Okay. So: Cat and I will bring Anna up to my room at about seven (after dinner). We will stay up there for about half and hour. 

**During which time you lot enter with Remus and go to James' room. **

I surreptitiously lock the door behind us so no one can get back out of the common room til I say so.

The day when you can pull off surreptitious…

I'm sorry? Do I hear my girlfriend disbelieving in me?

No, not at all. I just think it's going to be funny to watch you try and be subtle around potentially the brightest and most observant Marauder. 

**Oh, Prongs, she thinks Moony's smarter than you. That must hurt. **

No, I don't

Thank you Lils.

I _know_ he's smarter than you.

Ouch! If your intention was to shoot and arrow through my heart…. Bullseye!

**Guys! Back to the plan!**

Sorry.

Yeah me too. (and James, just so you know, I'd still rather be your girlfriend than Remus')

(Thanks Lils!)

**Ahem!**

Right, sorry. So after that happens, each respective party makes their way down to the common room at exactly quarter past seven. 

**When we get there, we shall pretend not to know about the operation.**

**Hold on. I'm spotting a flaw. Surely they would recognise that we're trying to set them up. And if not, then how are we supposed to smoothly segue our way into a game of truth or dare?**

He makes a good point actually.

**You boys are forgetting that we're your girlfriends. It's not unusual for us to all want to hang out together. **

But won't Anna and Remus be expecting us to be more sensitive to their feelings?

That's where Peter comes in.

_I do?_

Yes. You suggest the game in the first place.

_And since when does anyone listen to what I have to say anyways?_

**Ooh, someone's sounding a little bitter. **

Pete - we always listen to you… just sometimes it's more subtle.

_So why do I suggest this stupid game?_

**Because we want to get Anna and Remus back together, stupid!**

_I know that! I mean as part of the operation!_

Well, you casually suggest it, we all look awkward for a minute and cast the usual 'are you okay with this' looks at Anna and Remus. 

**Remus, being the passive sort that he is will unwillingly consent, and after seeing him do so, Anna will be compelled to do the same. **

Then James will appear to want to be humouring Peter and will therefore agree on behalf of the group.

_Why humouring me?_

**Because that's what we always do, Wormy!**

**That was mean**

**Yeah but it was funny.**

_Whatever, guys, I'll see you at dinner. _

**What's got his knickers in a twist?**

Padfoot, you really aren't the most sensitive of guys at times.

**Yeah, and?**

I think Peter's getting a bit over it.

**Well, he'll get over it eventually.**

I reckon you should apologise.

**What do you think, Cat?**

**I'm not taking sides and you can't make me.**

**Fine, fine. I'll apologise later. **

Good, now that's settled we can get back to work. 

You know what, Lily, I didn't think you had that in you

You mean, you didn't realise that what I meant by 'work' was actually 'snogging'?

Well, yes. And let me tell you it was a pleasant surprise.

**Will you two knock it off. Some of us are trying to not vomit our lunch everywhere.**

Sod off, Sirius, you're just as bad. 

**Am not!**

**Well, actually, we kinda are. **

No more arguing. Work!

Thought we'd never get there. 

**Rolls eyes. Wait! One more question!**

What?

**Why are we doing this on a Thursday night? I mean, I'm all for school night shenanigans but I thought the esteemed Heads would disapprove.**

Firstly, please don't call us 'esteemed heads' again - it's just wrong-

James- get your mind out of the gutter!

My mind wasn't in the gutter, Lilykins, that was just you.

Dies of embarrassment

**Excuse me, but some of us have work to do - can you just answer the question?**

Faints in shock that Sirius Black wants to work!

**Ha-ha Lily-flower. But seriously**

**Oh, you didn't!**

**No I didn't! I wasn't making a pun - why doesn't anyone take me seriously?**

Pads, stop it!

**Grrr**

Okay, sorry. Can't help poking fun

**Gee, hadn't noticed. **

What's got your wand in a knot?

**I happen to want to come top in this class and I'm not going to if the professor catches us passing notes. **

Is it possible to die of shock more than once?

**Giggles at boyfriend's expense**

**PLEASE! Why tonight and not Friday?**

Because James and I are going shopping

What happened to making up an excuse?

I don't work well under pressure - sorry!

It's okay. You've only given Padfoot A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF BLACKMAIL FODDER. But never mind.

Alright, I'm _really_ sorry. If it helps at all, Sirius, it's clothes shopping

Not helping!

For my sister's wedding.

**How come I wasn't asked to go shopping?**

Because James is actually coming to the wedding.

**Going to get some ideas, ey, Prongs?**

Padfoot, shut up!

**Aww, look at how they're blushing. Isn't it cute!**

**I think they've stopped paying attention to us now. They're too busy trying to ignore one another. **

**That's ridiculous - they are going out together.**

**I know. But she's special to Prongs. You're special to me…**

**Does that mean I have to blush and ignore you?**

**No… but I do want to do some work**

**The real sort of work or the snogging sort?**

**Bit of both really…**

* * *

Seven o'clock came around sooner than expected and before Lily knew it, she, Cat and Anna were sitting in her dormitory, flipping through the latest copies of _Witch Weekly_. The boys on the other hand were taking their time wandering back to James' room. In the mean time, Sirius thought he might lay some ground work to prepare Remus for what was ahead. Of course, he went about this in the least subtle way possible.

"Moony, why aren't you and Anna talking?" he asked with a child like innocence only he could muster. James rolled his eyes at his best friend - sometimes he had all the tact and subtlety of a Dervish and Bangs firework.

"You know why we aren't talking," Remus replied shortly, refusing to look at his friends. He kept his eyes trained on the floor beneath his feet.

"Yeah, but she tried to apologise," Sirius tried again.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" he replied again. Sirius shot James a worried 'are we doing the right thing?' look behind Remus' back. All James could do was shrug and look vaguely unconfident. He was beginning to worry that they were doing the wrong thing. _Too late now, _he thought, _let's just stick to the plan and things will work out… I hope. _

"Well, here we all are, then," James announced unnecessarily as they reached the portrait hole, "In we go." He entered the room first, quickly scanning for signs of the girls, then making sure that as they made their way up to his room that they didn't make excessive noise. This wasn't difficult considering Remus was already subdued, and Sirius and Peter knew of the plan.  
Once safely ensconced in James' room, they boys felt a bit more relaxed - at last, girl-free sanctuary.

"Shall we?" Sirius said with an evil grin, pulling a large bottle of firewhiskey from his bag.

"As prefect, I should confiscate that," Remus said with a small smile - happier now that he was just with his friends.

"As Head Boy, I'm going to have to overrule you, Moony. This is strictly for drinking purposes." And with that, he popped off the lid and took a quick swig.

"Hey, don't hog it all!" Sirius cried, grabbing the bottle off James and gulping a considerable amount more, "Ah, that hit the spot!"

"I want some, too," Peter cried, almost forgetting that part of the plan was to get _Remus _to drink.

"You want some, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"It's a school night," Remus replied, although the bottle of alcohol had truly never looked more tempting considering the week he had endured.

"Go on, you know you want to," Sirius waggled his eyebrows, "One sip won't hurt." Remus accepted the bottle reluctantly.

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Probably," James replied with a grin.

"What are we going to do up here, anyway, aside from drink ourselves into stupidity?" Sirius asked James (from a script they had memorised earlier).

"I think we should talk about stuff like Quidditch and girls and life after Hogwarts," he replied without delay.

"I want to discuss my lack of girlfriend," Peter chipped in in a monotone.

"Good, because I would like to confer on the details of my up and coming wedding," Sirius added.

"What's up with you guys?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" they all but yelled at exactly the same time, Sirius was the only one who managed to pull off the innocent look completely.

"Eww, what's that smell?" Peter cried suddenly, dramatically flinging a hand over his nose.

"Yuck! That evil witch!" James said realistically, "A dung bomb!"

Sure enough, someone had set off a supply of dung bombs in James' room (that someone being Sirius, of course).

"Prongs, what did you do to her?" Sirius cried, as they all stood to exit the room.

"Turned her shampoo green - practise for April Fools' Day. I knew she'd get me back!" he grinned, "I'm so proud."

"Let me out!" Peter cried, running down the short flight of stairs, Remus hot on his tail. Sirius and James followed behind them.

"I hope this works, Padfoot," James said apprehensively, carrying the nearly-full firewhiskey bottle.

"Me too."

They entered the room to see Lily, Cat and Anna seated on the couch in front of the fire, Anna staring wide-eyed at Remus, who seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Cat, Lily and Peter were observing this pseudo-interaction warily, as if waiting to see who would try to leave first.

"Um, we thought you guys were upstairs," Anna said feebly. Remus just gave a sort of stiff nod to show he had heard her.

"Umm, err…" Peter stuttered, "Does anyone want to play a game or something?"

He really could be quite a good actor when he wanted to - the awkward, socially stunted role suited him perfectly.

"I've hardly seen you at all today," Sirius said with a semi-sad look at Cat, who faked awkwardness and shot an apprehensive glance at Anna, who remained fairly impassive.

"And I really think we all deserve a break," said Lily in her best Head Girl voice. James glanced hesitantly at Remus, trying to assess what he would say; the werewolf had yet to protest…

"I feel like I never get to hang out with you guys," Peter continued to whine.

"Alright, Pete, we'll stay here, won't we?" James conceded with an apologetic look at Remus, who hesitated for a half a second before giving the slightest of nods and settling down on the floor as far away from Anna as possible.

"Great, truth or dare it is!" Sirius cried, producing a second bottle of firewhiskey and seven large glasses from out of nowhere.

"Truth or dare again?" Cat moaned theatrically, "Can't we think of any new games?"

"Strip poker?"

"Strip exploding snap?"

"Strip gobstones?"

"Strip chess?"

"There will be no stripping!" Lily cried with a small grin, glad that the mood in the room was relaxing the tiniest degree, "Truth or dare it is."

There was a nasty pause until James volunteered himself to go first - dare.

"Okay, Jamesie-poo, I dare you to skull this glass of firewhiskey and then navigate your way around the room without touching the floor and without using magic," Sirius proposed, handing James a sizeable flagon of whiskey.

"Easy peas-y!" James said with a grin, while Remus snorted in disbelief.

"What, you don't think I can do it, Moony?"

"No, I just bet you ten galleons that he's spiked that drink with something," Remus replied with a shrewd smile over his drink.

"Never! Pads would never betray me like that, would you?" James cried.

"Me? No!" Sirius said, eyes wide. Now James wasn't sure who to trust.

"A dare is a dare, James," Lily reminded him gently, "And don't worry, I know how to brew a cure to nearly almost all poisons."

"Nearly?" James squeaked, eyes darting between his potions-confident girlfriend and his scheming best friend. Lily nodded sweetly. James wasn't really frightened, he was just trying to ease the tension - and it was working. The girls all giggled as he hoped from chair to chair, trying not to touch the floor. As it turned out, Sirius hadn't _technically_ spiked the drink - he had merely given James one with an increased level of alcohol so that it was the equivalent of about five drinks in one go.

Reaching his seat (on the floor) between Remus and Lily, he draped an arm over each of them affectionately before demanding that one of the girls go next.

"Okay, I'm up for it!" Cat said gleefully, her first drink already gone, "dare!"

"You're going to wish you hadn't said that, love," Sirius said evilly.

"Why?"

"You remember that rule you made upon our engagement?" Cat narrowed her eyes at Sirius who continued, "It's about to be broken!"

"Sirius Black, you dirty pervert!" Cat cried, although she couldn't help but grin.

"A dare is a dare," Anna said sagely, speaking for the first time. Remus caught her eye across the circle, and looked away hastily, leaving the both of them slightly flushed in the face. Clearly there was still something between the two. Cat, noticing this, realised that the only way to keep the game going was to do her dare.

"Fine - but I don't want to do it here with all you prats listening in!" she said, hands on hips.

"You're not doing it in my bedroom!" Lily cried.

"I never said we had to do it now," Sirius reasoned, "I'm willing to wait a while."

"No, I think it's best that we get it out of the way now," Cat said, a lustful glint in her eye (truth be told, she had been slightly regretting making the rule), "Off we go."

"Oi, where do you think you're going?" James said, looking horrified.

"Come on, mate," Sirius implored, "We can't go all the way back to the common room!"

"Well, you're not going to _do it_ on _my_ bed!" James yelled. Remus, Anna, Peter and Lily were all now in stitches of laughter.

"Prongs, you're ruining my love life!" Sirius whined.

"Mate, you signed your own death certificate when you got engaged. I should not be made to suffer, too!"

"Come on, James!" pleaded Cat, "I promise we'll just make out. None of what you were thinking," she looked pointedly at Sirius.

"But it's your dare!" he cried in protest.

"And this is a compromise. You're getting married so you'd better get used to them," she warned, while the others nearly wet themselves laughing.

"Fine," grumbled Sirius as he allowed himself to be dragged up the stairs.

"Don't forget a silencing charm!" James called out, with a disgusted look on his face.

"Has everyone finished their drinks?" Lily asked, before pouring everyone seconds. Remus downed his in one go and then had another. James raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing - it was unlike his friend to be reckless and although James knew he should be preventing it, he also knew that this was possibly the only way to get Remus to talk to Anna and work out all their stuff.

Lily had also been monitoring Anna and had secretly been topping up her cup every so often, without anyone realising. She, like James, knew it was wrong to get their friends tipsy but, she thought to herself, it's for the greater good.

Next it was Peter's turn, and not wanting to be a considered weak by his peers he chose dare. James dared him to go to the kitchens and bargain with the houselves for food. Peter secretly was a bit miffed that he was getting sent out of the room like a naughty child, but went nonetheless, not wanting to ruin the operation and incur the wrath of Sirius and James.

By now, Lily and James could see that both Anna and Remus were sufficiently 'under the influence' to be loose lipped and honest with one another. Although James had had a few more than Lily, he was better at holding his liquor so they were both relatively clear-headed for the moment.

"So, who's next?" James asked, noticing that the sudden lack of company seemed to make the ex's uncomfortable.

"I'll go," Anna said, looking at the floor, "truth." Lily thought she'd take this one.

"Umm, what's your favourite memory of Hogwarts?" - she thought it was a pretty safe question.

"Halloween Ball," Anna replied immediately, eyes flickering to Remus then back to the floor.

"I'll go next," Remus said quickly, "truth." James looked at Lily, unsure what to say. She just looked back at him, momentarily at a loss.

"When did you become a werewolf?" Anna asked, as Lily and James' jaws hit the floor. Remus looked into her eyes as he spoke - as if challenging her to be repulsed by his words - "When I was very young - five. I was walking on the way home from a friend's house. It had just gotten dark, but they only lived across the way. Then a wolf came out of nowhere and bit me." Anna nodded wordlessly, her eyes full of sadness for the werewolf. Sadness which he seemed to sense, since his face lost some of the hardness, and his eyes softened infinitesimally when he looked back at her. It was as if they had both forgotten Lily and James' presence.

"What is your greatest fear?" Remus asked Anna, as though she had just opted for another truth question.

"Being tied down to one person," she replied, "What's yours?"

"Hurting the people I love... and being rejected for what I am," he said in a soft voice as he saw Anna's eyes begin to well up. "What's your greatest regret?" he asked.

"There's a tie for first," she said, hastily wiping away a tear as though no one would notice, "That _thing_ with Edmond Triscombe," she said with disgust, "And you."

"Me?" he said in utter disbelief, as Lily and James watched the exchange with horror - this was not going to end well!

"Yes, you," she said angrily, the firewhiskey bringing all her emotions to the surface, "If I hadn't gotten involved with you, I wouldn't feel the way I do now."

"And how is that, exactly?" he replied, eyes flashing as he staggered to his feet.

"I feel dreadful!" Anna cried, truthfully. "I see you everyday at breakfast, in class, in the library, in the common room, here, and every time I do it reminds me of what I don't have." She paused to draw breath and stand up; Remus' expression was frozen between anger and confusion. "Every time I see you, I'm reminded of how awful I was. I'm reminded of what sort of person I am - I don't like who I am any more!"

"I like who you are," he said softly, but Anna continued nonetheless.

"You are my biggest regret, Remus Lupin, because I let myself fall for you and I then I screwed up and I don't even know how to make it better!" she stamped her foot angrily. Lily and James took this as their cue to silently shuffle out of the way, to hide in the staircase to Lily's bedroom. The other two didn't even notice their missing.

"You really hurt me, you know that?" he demanded.

"I know! And I'm sorry!" Anna cried.

"_Really _hurt me, Anna. And I don't want to let you back in because you might hurt me again!"

"I don't want to hurt you again!"

"What if you do, though?"

"Remus," she said earnestly, grabbing one of his hands, "I can't promise that I won't hurt you. No one can make that promise! But I can try - isn't that enough?" Remus allowed his other hand to reach up and softly touch her cheek. She leaned into his touch slightly and he got shivers down his spine at being so close to the girl once more.

"I need to ask you one more question…" he said. Anna nodded, pulling away and looking him straight in the eye.

"Do you love me?" he said seriously, and from where James was stationed he wondered if Moony had drunk anything at all given the serious tone in which he was speaking.

"Yes," she replied simply. He merely nodded at her, as if she was confirming a theory of his or something.

"May I ask you a question?" she said softly - he nodded again.

"Do you understand how hard it was for me to take something like your secret in?"

"Of course I do," he said quietly.

"And do you see why I was upset?"

"Yes," he said again sadly.

"And you know that I still have feelings for you?" to which he nodded again, unable to form speech.

"Then… do you still love me?" she asked, her voice cracking and the tears falling softly off her cheeks onto the carpet.

"Yes," Remus replied again.

"So, can I ask one more question? Why are we still fighting?"

"My other greatest fear is that I might hurt the people I love," he said, stepping away from her. Anna also took a step back in confusion.

"Just to clarify," she said, her words slightly slurred and a distinct frown forming on her brow, "A minute ago you were angry at me because I didn't accept you straight away, and now you don't want to be with me because you _might hurt me_?" she questioned. "I'm confused. Which one is it, Remus?"

"Listen, Anna, you know how you hurt me and I'm forgiving you, alright? But I don't think we are going to work."

"Why!?" Anna cried, "Why not?!"

"Because I'm a werewolf and you're not. I get that now - now that I can think about it and not be mad at you, I can see that this just… it isn't going to work. I'm a risk and although how you acted was insensitive I can see your point of view-"

"It's not my point of view any more! How many times do I have to tell you that I was in shock?" she almost yelled.

"No, no, no - I understand that!" Remus said, running a hand exasperatedly through his hair, "You don't get it. I just… I think it would be better if we weren't dating anymore."

"Even though you still love me," she said quietly.

"It's best for both of us. We need to move on," he said, his honest eyes boring into hers. Anna struggled to swallow the lump that was rising in her throat.

"I don't think I can," she said in a choked voice, a tear rolling down her face.

"We'll always have Halloween," he said with a watery smile. Even though it was hurting him, Remus knew that this was the best option for them both. Anna nodded her agreement. Sad though she was, she was grateful to at least have regained his friendship.

"Friends, then?" she asked, extending a hand.

"Friends," he agreed, touching his hand to hers briefly, before stepping back and sitting on the couch.

"This is suddenly very awkward," Anna said bluntly, tossing him a glance as she sat down next to him.

"It could be worse," Remus said, "We could've had sex and then where would we be?"

"Remus Lupin, I never knew you had that in you," Anna said with a smile. There was a pause. "Where did everyone else go?" she asked suspiciously.

"Oh right, that's our cue," James whispered to Lily, pulling her up off the stair where they had been eavesdropping. They re entered the room, eyeing the pair cautiously.

"Are you guys okay?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"We're not back together, if that's what you mean," Anna said with the tiniest hint of bitterness in her voice.

"At least you're talking, though, that's an improvement," James said with a shrug of the shoulders.

"Yes, it is. Thanks for making us talk," Remus said shrewdly.

"I have absolutely no idea what you mean," James said innocently, "What's a simple game of truth or dare between friends?"

"I have to agree with James," Lily said wide-eyed, "We did not conspire to get you two to make up - you two are just naturally great."

At that moment Sirius and Cat entered from the door to James' bedroom, tousle-haired and foggy-eyed.

"Have fun?" James asked with a grin.

"No comment," Cat said, returning the smile, "So are these two back together then?"

"And there goes our story about _not _trying to set them up," Lily muttered.

"I knew it."

"Oh, shush, Moony. Nobody likes a know-it-all," Sirius chipped in, "So are you two just friends then, or what?"

"What happened to tip-toeing around our feelings, Black?" Anna demanded.

"Went out the window when I saw that you two weren't ignoring each other or snogging each other. I came to the logical conclusion that you must now be friends. Ergo - no more tip-toeing."

"Well then, I hope you guys don't mind, but I'm not much in the mood for anymore games. I might just go back to the dorms and finish that astronomy chart. See you guys tomorrow," Anna said, making her way out of the room. Remus looked for a moment as though he was going to say something to her, but shut his mouth again when he realised that he couldn't speak. In an attempt to break the now awkward silence, Sirius said loudly, "Where's Wormtail with our food?"

"Padfoot, do you ever think of anything but your stomach?" James said in mock exasperation.

"James, do you ever think of anything but Lily-flower?" Sirius retorted, earning a pillow to the face.  
When Peter returned the group spent the rest of the evening in relative comfort. The firewhiskey of course helped ease the tension a bit but secretly everyone was a bit worried about what would happen over the next few days regarding Remus and Anna. Hopefully they would face minimal discomfort, but who knew?

When the others had left, Lily and James flopped down in front of the fire together, James' arm slung over Lily's shoulder in a divinely comfortable way. She leaned into him, wriggling to find that perfect position before wrapping one of her arms across his stomach. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment before James spoke.

"I'm glad that's done," he said in a tired voice, "At least now we can sort of go back to how things were."

"Mmm," agreed Lily, her eyes still closed.

"Are you listening to me?" James asked in an amused voice.

"Mhmm," she agreed.

"Right," he said with a smile, "Time for bed." Without waiting for another mumbled response, he scooped her up in his able arms and bore her towards her bedroom, bridal style. Laying her gently on the bed he chuckled. Lily had barely had two glasses of firewhiskey all night but it seemed that the drink had made her excessively sleepy. She had the energy to mumble "James" before becoming completely oblivious to everything around her.

* * *

The next day seemed to fly by. None of their number, bar Peter, felt any effects of the night before and were generally quite cheery. The biggest difference was between Anna and Remus, of course. They were no longer giving one another pained looks or pretending that the other didn't exist. They were able to talk normally and although things were obviously not as comfortable as before, it was an undeniable improvement on how things had been for the previous week. Anna was more subdued than usual but Lily put that down mostly to her break-up with Remus being the first time she hadn't gotten her way.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary:**

It's not actually night time and I'm not about to go to bed. I'm just bored and I have nothing better to do than write. So here I am… writing.

Where's James you may very well ask. Well, actually, I doubt you'd ask me that because a) you're an inanimate object and inanimate objects (as far as I'm aware) don't speak back and b) why would you care about James - he's not _your _boyfriend.

But I'm getting off the topic. The topic being James.

It's now two in the afternoon. Dumbledore gave us the afternoon off in celebration of… well, I'm not really sure. He wasn't particularly specific. I tend to think it's because the teachers are in grave need of some time off. Just thinking about the amount of work they make us do makes me exhausted - imagine having to correct all of that! No wonder they need the afternoon off.

I'm getting off the topic again.

Currently, James is on the Quidditch pitch with the Marauders and the Quidditch team. They're practising for the game next weekend on account of how James won't be at Hogwarts in the middle of the week so he won't be able to train. Why you may ask? (Although we both know that you wouldn't ask - see above arguments).

Well, next week is dear Petunia's wedding to that Vernon. I really don't want to go to the wedding. And, as far as I can tell, she doesn't want me there either. Family duties call, though. And it'll be worth going just to see her expression when she realises that I've brought one of 'my lot' to the wedding. Priceless.

James and I are leaving Sunday morning - the wedding's on Tuesday - and we should be back by the middle of Wednesday, which only leaves him a few days to prepare for Quidditch.

I'm actually surprised McGonagall is letting us both go. I think Dumbledore must've had words with her because I can't see why she'd let us otherwise.

This afternoon, after James is done practising, we're going to sneak off to Dufftown again (yes, what a rebel I am) because it's the closest non-magical community to Hogwarts, to buy him an outfit for the wedding. Unfortunately all he has at the moment are dress robes, and as much as I would dearly love to do that to Petunia, I just don't have the heart. Also, shopping with James will be a rather enjoyable experience. After all, look what happened when we only went to a pharmacy.

I don't really mean it.

About Petunia.

I do want her to be happy. I still love her - she's my sister. It's just… I think she's making the wrong decision. I mean, I've never met this Dursley face to face but I'm sure he's just as obnoxious and awful as Dad said in his letters. Tuney always made sure I was out of the house when he came over, and Mum would never say a bad word about him, but at least I can rely on Dad to be honest. He said in his last letter that Dursley was 'a rather pompous, self-important young man with far too many opinions and the attitude that he is never incorrect'. Sounds like a real charmer, don't you think?

He's not good enough for Petunia. Sure, she's treated me like absolute dirt for the past seven or so years, but I know there's good in her somewhere. And she deserves to be happy.

James said that at least she's found someone to make her happy - so in that respect I'm glad. I just wish she could've found someone… better.

But who am I to judge? I fell for the biggest troublemaker Hogwarts has ever seen.

Mind you, he's more than that. He's sweet, intelligent, funny, easy on the eye - the list goes on.

But really, I'd rather be talking to him than writing down a list of his attributes. I wonder if he does the same sort of thing in his occlumency diary?

…

Remus and Anna. That was awkward. At least they're friends now. Sort-of friends. As friendly as you can be with your ex, I suppose. I sort of wish that they had just gotten back together. I know I was harsh on Anna before, but I guess if I had found out that James was a werewolf and didn't tell me I would be in shock as well. I didn't really see it from her point of view before. I can see it from Remus' point of view as well, I guess. Now that he's forgiven her, he doesn't want to hurt her. What is it with him and this complex he has about doing what's best for others. It's so irritatingly selfless. I sometimes wonder if there's a reason he's like this. I don't want to even think it, but maybe he attacked someone once when in wolf form and he's never forgiven himself. Of course, I'm sure that wouldn't be the case, because James would know about it. And, really, it was a stupid thing to write. But this is stream of consciousness writing - I'm just writing any old thing that pops into my head.

For instance, now I feel like eating a chocolate éclair. I don't know why. Just the mood for creamy chocolate sugary food struck and I felt the urge to write it down.

Another thought. A while ago in this very diary I was writing about the L-word. To be more specific, the L-O-V-E word. The word that seemed to bring Sirius and Cat together, and pull Remus and Anna apart.

Don't know how.

But I was thinking, what is so special about love? More to the point, _what_ is love?

You may well recall my musings on the difference between loving someone and being in love. Also the different sorts of love. Well, the more and more I think about it, the more I sort of, kinda, really think that I might be in love with James. THERE! I said it! I can't believe I said it.

Prepare yourself for mushy-ness, oh inanimate object, for here it comes.

I love James (I think) because he's always there for me. Like whenever I have nightmares and whatnot or am worried about my friends, he's always ready to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. And that just makes me feel safe. I know I used to worry about him smothering me, but I think I've realised that he only does it because he cares, and knowing that makes me feel vaguely light-headed.

Whenever I see him, I can't help but smile (there's also that light-headed feeling and the occasional bout of acrobatic stomach butterflies). Really there's no logic behind that at all, so I've decided that it's probably due to that L-word.

The final reason I have a hunch that I might be in love is because I can't actually imagine my life without him. This might be, in part, due to the fact that he has been pursuing me all these years and then when he stopped we had to share living quarters anyway so it didn't really make a difference. So basically he has always been around, being his annoying or cheerful self. The thought that I won't wake up to that everyday makes my eyes water and my throat clog up.

But that's just the thing. If being in love means that my happiness is solely dependant on the presence or actions of one person, then I don't think I want to be in love.

But for someone who doesn't want to be in love, I'm doing a pretty good job of showing the opposite. I mean, I spend so much time with James, it borders on ridiculous. I'm always writing about him and thinking about him - it's quite pathetic.  
I should make more of an effort if I'm so worried about being in love.

But, then again, why would I want to get rid of the feeling I have now? This safe, giddy, _happy_ feeling?

I must be insane. I think I'm the only girl who would fall in love with a guy and then decide she was scared of the happiness she's experiencing. Who does that?

I should just keep going with the way things are, shouldn't I? I mean, our relationship isn't affecting my school work (much), it's not changing my personality or anything (unless you count the fact that I'm not nearly as uptight as I was at the start of the year) so why should I turn away from my main source of comfort?

Oh, that's right, I shouldn't!

God, Lily, you can be a stupid arse sometimes.

Sometimes I think I just need someone to give me a good, stern talking to. Or my mum. She'd know what to say. But how can I put all this in a letter?

_Lily, you are yet again having a brain fade. You will see your mum on Sunday!_

Oh, right. Trust the voices in my head to make me look foolish.

_No, I think you did that by yourself._

You're right - I should just stop writing down what you say.

That's better.

I think it's about time I got ready to go shopping. No doubt it will be an… interesting experience.

* * *

By four o'clock Lily and James found themselves once again exiting the familiar musty antechamber and stepping out onto the backstreets of Dufftown.

"Which way to the clothing shops, then?" Lily asked, readjusting her favourite red and gold scarf.

"How am I supposed to know?" James threw back, "I only come here for food and apparently pregnancy tests." Lily raised her eyebrows at his unusually gruff behaviour. He caught her eye and sighed.

"Sorry, Lils, bad training session," he said shortly. Lily immediately felt a stab of guilt in her stomach - after all, it was her fault he would be away from Hogwarts. As though he could read her mind, he slipped his hand into hers and smiled wanly at her.

"It's not your fault, Lils. The team are just having a rough patch at the moment."

"Sorry," she said with an apologetic glance.

"Don't worry about it," James said, returning somewhat to his normal self, "Let's get shopping, ey?"

Lily nodded and they made their way out onto a main road. Shops lined the streets, all open for Friday night shopping. James winced involuntarily.

"What's with all the pink?" he mumbled more to himself than anyone. Lily chuckled.

"It's fairly sad that I have to remind you that it's Valentines Day next Wednesday," she grinned.

"Oh bollocks," he muttered to himself, inwardly cursing his stupidity _and_ his potty mouth, "I'm sorry Lily, I-"

"It's okay, James," Lily smiled wryly, "You've got a lot on your mind."

"You know something - you're too good to me," James said, tightening his grip on Lily's hand ever so slightly.

"And don't you forget it," she replied, "Ooh, let's go in here." She dragged him into a rather shiny looking shop with well-dressed mannequins in the window.

"So, Lily, how come we're shopping for me and not you. Not to be sexist or anything, but you're the girl. Don't you need some fancy dress to go in?"

"I've already got mine picked out, actually."

"Really, what colour is it?"

"It's hideous! All frills and bows and yuck! It's blue, if you must know," she added with a wrinkle of the nose.

"You're so cute when you do that," he commented absently, before reprimanding himself for being so mushy - he was a Marauder, for Merlin's sake!

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied, "So, what do I do?" At that moment a rather tall, thin man sporting a suave maroon dinner jacket and square spectacles approached them.

"Hello and welcome. How may I assist you today?" he said in an entertainingly thick Scottish accent.

Lily had time to think _what a strange man_ before James replied, "We're shopping for some formal clothes - for a wedding."

"A tuxedo or dress suit perhaps?" queried the man, leading them to the back of the shop.

"Yes, that would do nicely," Lily replied for James who was looking a bit bewildered.

"This is our formal men's wear section," said the man, indicating to a wall of neatly pressed suits and jackets, "Just call if you need anything."

"We will, thanks," Lily replied with a kind smile.

"Oh, and every happiness to you both," added the man before walking off.

"Oh, wait. It's not our… oh, never mind," James grinned with a shake of the head as the man disappeared behind some hangers.

"What is it with everyone thinking we're engaged and/or having a baby?" Lily said huffily.

"As previously discussed, Lily my dear, we make an unbelievably cute couple," James grinned. Lily couldn't help but grin as well. James' happiness was contagious.

"So, what do I try on first?" asked the boy in question.

"You choose some stuff, try it on and I will tell you what looks best, k?" Lily said plonking down on one of the plush couches outside the change room.

"You're going to regret saying that, Lily Evans. I'm warning you now, I have terrible taste," James said, eyebrows raised.

"It can't be that bad," Lily replied, now searching through her bag to find the novel she was currently reading. James scoffed as he walked past her and into the fitting rooms.

"Only you would bring a book shopping. Honestly, you call yourself a girl," he grinned.

"Oh shove off," she said with a grin, burying herself in her book and waiting for James to come out.

"Okay, I'm ready," called his voice a few minutes later.

"Come on out then," Lily replied, setting down her book and sitting up straight. A nervous head peeked out from behind a corner.

"Is anyone else watching?"

"Why does it matter, James?" Lily said with an amused/exasperated expression.

"I'm very self conscious about this sort of thing-" Lily snorted, "Hey! I am!" he insisted.

"There's no one else out here, alright?" she replied, eyes twinkling.

"Okay. Well…" James stepped out in front of Lily who promptly started giggling. In fact, she was bent over double with silent giggles that made her eyes water.

"Fine. I _told_ you I was terrible at this sort of thing!" James cried, rushing back into the fitting room.

"Oh, no. I-I-I'm sorry. It's j-just… I mean r-really!" Lily managed through the giggles. James stuck a now irritated head around the corner.

"How was I supposed to know that they didn't look good?"

"James," Lily said, having calmed herself, "First rule of fashion - don't mix patterns. I'm sure the blue pinstripes looked good on the shelf, but they should never _ever_ be worn with tartan pants, despite how well blue and red match."

"Well, you choose something then," he retorted, muttering something like 'know it all' under his breath.

"I heard that!" she called as she selected a plain dark blue suit jacket and matching pants. She strode, bold as anything, into the fitting rooms to hand James the ensemble, for a moment forgetting that he was a boy. She was reminded of this fact, however, when she opened the door to his room to find him - yet again - without a shirt on. She stared at his well-sculpted stomach muscles and broad shoulders for a moment longer than necessary, her head curiously tilted to the side and her teeth biting her lower lip ever so slightly.

"Uh, Lily?" James said in a highly amused tone.

"Hmm, what?" she said, her eyes meeting his, before she blushed profusely, "Sorry. Just came to give you this," she managed to squeak before tossing the suit at him and rushing out of the room. James chuckled to himself.

_I knew she got woozy from seeing me with my top off,_ he thought to himself happily, before trying on the next suit.

Four ensembles later saw James attempting to get into a handsome black dinner jacket and matching trousers. So far, this was Lily's favourite - simple, dressy yet not too much so.

"But it's got all these fiddly bits," James moaned from behind his change-room door.

"They're called buttons, James, and you seemed to manage perfectly fine before," Lily replied tiredly. She had to admit, at the best of times she found shopping tedious and while James had provided her with much entertainment, she was starting to get tired and could vaguely feel the beginnings of a headache.

"No, no, I think I need your help," came James' voice again.

"Don't you have buttons on your school clothes, James? I'm fairly sure you can manage those," replied the red head irritably.

"True. But these buttons are _hard. _I definitely need your help, Evans, right now."

"Fine, _Potter_, I'll be right in," she replied, slamming her book shut and marching to his change room. _Stay calm, Lily_, she told herself,_ after all, he's the one doing you a favour…even if he is being annoying now._

"Okay, I'm here, what do you-" she managed to get out before James' lips came crashing down on hers. She had time to think, _oh, look, his top buttons are undone_, before she gave herself in completely to the kiss. She felt herself reach behind her and close the small door, and James steering her over to the little armchair in the corner of the spacious change-room, their lips never breaking contact. One of his hands was holding her in the small of her back, as usual, and the other was gently unclipping her hair from the loose bun at the base of her neck. She found one of her hands unconsciously touching the exposed area of his chest, noticing his warmth and smoothness there.

He sort of clumsily fell into the chair, pulling her down on top of him. She giggled lightly into his mouth and he felt that amazing soaring sensation in his stomach knowing not only that he was kissing the love of his life, but that he was the one making her laugh.

They continued to snog one another for ten solid minutes until the maroon-clad Scotsman knocked on the door asking if they needed any help. With all the self control he could muster, James disengaged his lips from Lily's and said, "No, we're just fine."

"He was just having some troubles with his buttons," Lily called out in a slightly wobbly voice, grinning at James happily.

"Right… er, well…okay," said the assistant awkwardly. As the teens heard his footsteps fade away the broke out into laughter.

"I knew taking you shopping would be worth its weight in gold," Lily said, shaking her head and getting up off his lap, "First they think we're engaged, then you choose a horrible suit that made you look like a sewing machine threw up on you and then a shop assistant interrupts a snogging session," she chuckled.

"Well, I'm happy to be of service," James replied, beginning to unbutton his shirt, "And for the record, I am eternally grateful for being educated as to the rules of tartan and pinstripes."

"Oh, by the way, we'll get that one. It looks nice," Lily said appreciatively.

"Why thankyou, Lily Jane," he said walking over to her, "Now you'd better leave."

"I'm sorry?" she replied in confusion. He walked right in close to her so that their chests were nearly touching. Although she had just been kissing the very same boy, Lily still felt her breath catch in her throat as he leant down and put his mouth next to her ear.

"I think you had better leave, Lily. I'm about to take off this suit, and I know how flustered you get when I'm without a shirt," he said in a teasingly seductive manner. The sound of his deep voice and the feeling of his warm breath on her ear and neck made Lily loose all reason so that she quite forgot to be mad for him teasing her. Instead she exited the room in a sort of daze as James did a little happy dance inside his head.

_Oh yes, _he thought, _she so wants me_.

* * *

AN - Okay, so a sort of strange ending but i want to jump right in with meeting the parents and then petunia's wedding in the next chapter, so yes  
I'm sorry about remus and anna. it was a kinda wierd place to leave them. On the one hand i want remus to be happy. on the other, i didn't much like anna. on my third hand, i didn't want to make it entirely her fault and on my fourth hand it was too difficult to have them as enemies and too unrealistic to put them back together. so that is my pitiful excuse - please dont hate me! besides, i have a strange feeling that anna isn't too happy with the way things are and who knows what that crazy gal will do? but that's just an inkling...  
and james was a bit cockier than usual towards the end. i decided that now he and lily have been dating a bit it would be fun if he was the arrogant marauder once in a while, just for entertainment's sake - coz we all know lily will love him anyway.  
speaking of lily - her diary entry questioning love was put in to show that lily is still a bit apprehensive about being so... emotional. i think the diary entry explains how she's feeling - she's quite complex so i hope it didn't get too silly.  
and now this is getting to be a very long author's note so i will say good night and happy fanficcing :) also thank you so much to you all for sticking with this story - and for reviewing - i muchly appreciate it!! (offers cyber cookies - they're chocolate chip)  
thanks again! :)


	35. Meet the Parents

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, which is good for Harry considering the shoddiness of this chapter - but please do read it anyway :)

**AN - **Okay, firstly let me apologise for not updating sooner! Im on holidays in qld at the moment, and for a while we couldn't get internet - so im reeeeeeally sorry!  
Secondly, this chapter is by no means my favourite. There's lots of lj fluff (which is fun) and lots of snogging (also fun) but i felt sad that there was no marauder action. It kinda meant there wasnt as much humour as i would've liked. But please do read it!! And review. Enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 34 - Meet the Parents:**

Lily dear,

Your father and I are so excited about seeing you tomorrow! It feels like forever since I last spoke to you face to face. I must apologise again for Christmas - things have been so hectic what with Petunia and her wedding plans, but from your letter it seemed like you had a lovely time without us in any case. Come to think of it, we haven't actually heard from you in a very long while.  
We do hope everything is going well at school and that no one is giving you any trouble. We know it's your seventh year and I do expect your head duties keep you quite busy, but it would be nice to get a letter from you every once in a while if you can find the time.  
Things here are a little insane at the moment (as you can well imagine) so your sister will be unable to come with us to pick you and James up from the station. I must say, I was quite surprised to read that you would be taking your fellow Head student as your escort to the wedding - the last you wrote you were less than impressed with his behaviour, if I recall correctly. I take it you're friends again, which is lovely to hear, although I was quite looking forward to seeing if young Jeffrey from the post office would be a good date. But oh well, I suppose I did suggest you take James in the first place. Petunia wasn't exactly thrilled but at least we're able to adhere to her seating plan, I suppose.  
Sweetheart, I really must hurry off now - there are so many things to do - but I've included an itinerary for you for the next few days, just to make things easier. And good luck for your apparition test today - it was so considerate of Albus to arrange that for you.

Looking forward to seeing you, darling.

Lots of love,

Mum and Dad.

Itinerary:

Saturday - Apparition test in Hogsmeade (11am); Pack for the wedding (make sure to pack your good shoes for the reception).

Sunday - Take the portkey to Kings Cross Station; Meet parents between platforms 9 and 10 at midday; drive home; formal dinner as a family (James will meet Petunia on this day, so prepare him).

Monday - We'll travel by car to Surrey to stay with the extended family and Vernon's relatives at the Brettenham Hotel (arrive by 11, luncheon at 12, etc); stay at the Hotel overnight.

Tuesday - The Wedding (details to be confirmed on the day); the reception; second night at the Hotel.

Wednesday - We drive the pair of you back to Kings Cross where you apparate back to school by about midday (coincidentally, it's Wednesday the 14th - Valentines' Day - just in case you've forgotten).

* * *

After reading the letter, Lily tossed it haphazardly in her bag, grabbed a slice of toast and rushed from the Great Hall to McGonagall's office, Cat and Sirius wishing her luck on the way. Lily was in a dreadful hurry for her apparition test but was running late because a certain Head Boy had insisted on wishing her luck in a very… physical way.

"Professor, I'm so sorry I-" Lily began upon entering the no-nonsense office of her Head of House, but she stopped abruptly when she saw that McGonagall was mid-conversation with Dumbledore. Muttering a brief apology, Lily went to wait outside. Closing the door behind her, she took the opportunity to straighten her robes and smooth her fly-away hair, somewhat. She hadn't noticed the thin, stringy boy watching her from across the deserted hallway. That is, until he stepped out of the shadows and managed to croak her name.

"Lily?" Severus said, his tone apprehensive, yet anxious as though he feared being caught talking to her. Lily snapped her head around to look at him.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded - she was still hurting from losing his friendship (they had been so close as children) and she was not in the mood to put up with his attitude.

"I have come to warn you of an attack," he said in a low, urgent voice that caught Lily completely unawares. Shaking off her surprise, and quickly reminding herself that Snape was not necessarily a character to be trusted, Lily composed herself.

"What do you mean?" she asked with cool disinterest, refusing to acknowledge how his words had shocked and frightened her.

"I mean to tell you that there are to be death eater attacks on muggle London in the coming days," he said, his eyes betraying a flicker of anxiety that Lily was not accustomed to seeing.

"How do you know this?" she asked, already knowing the answer and not really sure if she wanted to hear it from Snape's lips. He gave her a withering stare - reverting to his cold, Slytherin self that Lily had expected - and Lily knew instantly that her suspicions about Snape's alliance with the Dark Lord had been correct.

"Then why are you telling me this? Surely Dumbledore should be the one you tell," she replied, allowing the smallest ounce of fear to cross her features.

"I would be a fool to tell him," Snape replied darkly, "I would be a traitor and I would be punished for it." At his words, Lily felt a twinge of sympathy for her former best friend.

"But what can I do?" she replied, grabbing Snape's arm and dragging him further into the shadows, "Where is it exactly and what can I hope to do?" she repeated.

"There is nothing you can do except stay away," Snape replied, "I know that you are leaving Hogwarts tomorrow for your sister's wedding-"

"But how did you kn-"

"It doesn't matter how I know. Just make sure you stay away from the centre of London, alright?"

"Why are you helping me?" Lily asked. The last she and Severus had spoken, he had criticised her for being friends with James and she had told him to leave her alone. Lily had a feeling she knew why Snape was so angry about her and James, but she preferred not to dwell on it because it made her feel vaguely like bugs were crawling all over her flesh.

Snape broke eye contact with Lily, not to check for secret listeners but because he could no longer bear to face her.

"Just promise me you will stay away," he said firmly.

"I promise," she whispered. There was a short pause and Snape turned to leave. "Wait," Lily said urgently. Snape felt himself stop and turn to face her immediately. It didn't matter that he was a Slytherin and she a muggle-born, for the moment all that mattered to him was that he was at last on moderate speaking terms with Lily.

"I'm sorry I told you to leave me alone," she began, feeling incredibly awkward, "And I'm sorry I told you we couldn't be friends-"

"We can't be friends," he interrupted quickly, "You know what I am and you despise me for it. And I have other loyalties that-"

"I know, but you could still change," she said urgently, "Go to Dumbledore, he can help you!"

"NO!" Snape barely contained his shout, "No," he repeated in a low voice, "What's done is done."

"Then why are you trying to help me?" Lily persisted. Snape looked at her with pained eyes.

"Are you seriously asking that question?" he said softly, and in that instant all Lily could see was a hurt, rejected boy who had simply made some bad decisions. She watched Snape turn and walk away hurriedly, confused thoughts whirling around in her head. By rights she should still be mad at him for his calling her a Mudblood, but he had just potentially risked his own life in warning her about the attacks. As Head Girl she could easily tell Dumbledore what she had been told and who told her, but he had put his worries for her above his allegiance to Voldemort, whom she knew he must be serving. So why would he warn her when it could get him into so much trouble? Did he really want his friendship with Lily back so badly? If so, then why did he always look anxious about getting caught talking to her? Lily shook her head experimentally, trying to clear it before she took her apparition test. After about a minute or so of waiting, McGonagall called her into the office where the anti-apparition jinx had been lifted and Dumbledore stood ready to introduce Lily to the examiner.

* * *

"Come on Rawlins, pass it to Cat!" James yelled, as his quidditch team flew about the pitch sluggishly, "Padfoot, you're supposed to be playing the opposition, what are you doing?"

Sirius looked towards James vaguely confused - as he was the seeker there wasn't an awful lot he could do in practises, so James had asked him to pretend to be the opposition's beater. But all Sirius was doing was flying about aimlessly, toying with his beaters bat.

"Sorry Captain," he shouted back over the howling wind, "I'll get right on it." With that he swung his bat at an incoming bludger, which then went zooming straight towards James. He managed to pull a quick sloth grip roll, avoiding the bludger, but he nearly lost it completely when he saw the aforementioned bludger continue right on past him and smack Rachael squarely in the face. Of course he flew over straight away, hurrying to help Cat support the now profusely bleeding chaser who was clutching at her nose repeating something along the lines of 'I'b fime'.

James called off the practice after that. All in all it had been fairly average and he was not at all in good spirits or in a positive mood about the up and coming match against Ravenclaw. He knew it was no good worrying over something that would in all likelihood turn out well, but he couldn't help but feel a little blue as he entered the Heads' Common Room. He didn't have much time to dwell, however, because the moment he walked through the portrait hole, he was engulfed in a tight hug, preceded by a blur of red hair, and followed by excited squeaks of 'I did it! I passed!'.

James couldn't help but break into a grin as he heard Lily's excitement. After all, it was her apparition licence - it was a pretty big deal.

"Well done, Lils, that's excellent!" he said, holding her at arms length and examining her happy face. She was positively glowing with pride.

"I was really worried that I would splinch myself," she said, "But I got in there and the examiner was just so nice and now I can apparate any time I want!"

"Cool, let's see then," he grinned. Lily rolled her eyes and moved onto the couch in front of the fire.

"One day you will read Hogwarts: A History, and you will remember that you can't apparate in or out of Hogwarts," she said with mock exasperation.

"Why read it when I have a veritable wealth of knowledge as my girlfriend?" he replied, ever charming and self-assured as he flopped down next to Lily. She wrinkled her nose.

"Okay, until you have a shower, you may sit on _that_ end of the couch," she said, pointing away from her.

"Oi! I'm not that bad," he said.

"Have you smelt yourself?" she replied in disdain.

"Fine, fine, I'll take a shower," he said good naturedly.

"How was practise, by the way?"

"Dreadful."

"Oh."

"Don't worry. We'll still win, just not by as much as I would've liked," he said.

"At least you'll win," she said hopefully.

"Yeah, I spose," he replied with a shrug of the shoulders, "Oh, before I forget, what time exactly do we leave tomorrow?"

"We need to be at Kings Cross by midday so I think eleven? We'll walk to Hogsmeade, take a portkey and then my parents will pick us up."

"In a car?"

"Yes, James, in a car," she replied, amused by his apprehension.

"Okay, but I still think broom is the safest way to travel."

"You would. Now get in the shower before we have to fumigate this place." All the response she got was a pillow in the face and a slammed bathroom door. This left her alone to contemplate whether or not to tell James about Severus' warning.

* * *

Lily's Occlumency Diary:

I never thought I would use this thing so much. Dumbledore gave them to us so that we wouldn't have too much on our minds and so that we weren't as vulnerable to You-Know-Who but I never thought I would write in it this much. And this time I'm actually writing about something other than James (what a shocker!).

Severus came up to me today and warned me about an impending attack in London. He said it would take place in the next couple of days in the centre of London. I'm not sure whether or not I can trust him, though. Last time we spoke we parted on bad terms. And fair enough, too, after what he called me. And now he's as good as confessed that he's in a league with You-Know-Who so how can I trust him? Maybe he thinks that because he's told me about his being a Death Eater that I will be able to trust him, but what if I shouldn't trust him specifically because he's a Death Eater? And, in any case, why would he warn me? I have a feeling he wants to be more than friends. Obviously this isn't going to happen because of the potential L-word with James, and also due to the fact that I'm still angry he called me a Mudblood all those years ago. He lost my trust then, and he's not going to get it back. But then, why would he tell me about the attack if he didn't care about me? He wouldn't.

To be on the safe side, I should try and avoid central London - which will be a challenge because our house is just on the edge of the city. Thankfully the wedding's in Surrey, so we'll be there most of the time.

Surely the ministry have spies - those unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries, or the wizards from the Auror's office. They would know about any potential Death Eater plots, wouldn't they? They haven't in the past, though - maybe someone should tip them off? But who's going to listen to me? And I would have to tell them my source and I couldn't reconcile my conscience with Snape's murder at the hands of Voldemort if he found out that Snape had told me.

Surely the Ministry can handle it…

It probably won't even happen, though. Sev was probably lying.

Maybe I should send an anonymous letter to the Ministry just in case.

But I can't tell James. I don't know how he'd take the fact that Snape and I are on speaking terms again. Also the fact the suddenly Snape seems interested in my well being probably wouldn't go down too well. Oh well, I'll worry about this later.

I need to prepare myself for James meeting the parents.

I've never brought a boy home before - this should be interesting…

* * *

Harry read over the his mother's latest journal entry with interest. So Snape had been trying to help Lily, why would he do that? Of course, having seen his late professor's memories, Harry knew that Snape had loved his mother his entire life. But Harry also thought that Snape had only realised his decision to join Voldemort was a poor one after he had heard Trelawney's prediction. It seemed slightly out of character for Snape to be worried about Lily's safety at this point in their schooling. But that wasn't all that was on Harry's mind.

His reaction to the _Prophet _article was the feeling as though he was actually going to be sick. He had shown the article to Ginny, who had returned with provisions.

"I figure we're going to be here a while," she had said, "So I brought some blankets, some cauldron cakes and some chocolate for later." Harry had responded with a simple, "Thanks," and a rather long hug. With his arms wrapped protectively around Ginny's shoulders he felt somewhat comforted. Upon reading the article herself, Ginny expressed the appropriate amount of outrage.

"That's disgusting, but knowing the Ministry like we do, I'm not even close to surprised," she said wryly.

"It'll be better now Kingsley's in charge, though," Harry pointed out, "I'm going to apply for auror training."

"You're not going to come back and do your seventh year with me?" Ginny asked hopefully. They hadn't really talked about what would happen in the year to come. They had been too busy with the aftermath of Voldemort's defeat; numerous funerals, the re-establishment of order and many other things had kept them from discussing the future. Harry and Ginny had, of course, decided to keep seeing each other, now that Harry had done what he'd had to do, as had Ron and Hermione, much to the delight of Mrs Weasley.

"I don't know. I thought about it, I did. But it depends on Ron and Hermione. And if I don't need to complete my NEWTS to become an auror then I can skip them, I spose. What do you think?" Ginny disentangled herself from the hug and instead leaned upon Harry's shoulder with a heavy sigh.

"I think we've already spent one year apart, I don't want to spend another. But then again, it didn't kill us, so I guess it's not the end of the world," she said with a sigh. "But, anyway, we can talk about this later. Let's keep reading, 'k?"

"I'm so lucky to have you," Harry said without thinking. Ginny simply smiled against his shoulder, "And don't you forget it."

* * *

Sunday morning dawned bright and early and James was sure that he had never felt more nervous in his life (with the possible exception of his first date with Lily - but even then it was a close one to call). The reason for his nerves - today was the day he would meet Lily's parents. Now James was quite the charmer when he wanted to be - he could turn the manners on and off like a tap, he could always be relied upon for an entertaining anecdote, he was thoroughly presentable (except for his hair) and he was, in general, a lovely person.  
However, knowing that he indeed loved Lily (although he had yet to confess as much to her) and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her (again, something she was unaware of) meant that he couldn't just charm the Evanses - he actually had to make a lasting good impression based on more than just his charm and affability. He had asked Remus for advice on how to impress the parents - because Remus seemed like the type to know - and the werewolf had simply said 'be yourself'. Of course, James found this to be an insufficient piece of advice, and kept pressing his friend until he got 'be yourself but not too arrogant'. This was slightly better advice so James thought he would take it. Plus he had been reading and reading over his muggle studies text books from third year onwards. Lily was the reason he had taken the class in the first place (although it had been under the pretence of helping Peter). It wasn't because Lily took the class - she took Ancient Runes instead - but because he wanted to find out as much about the muggle way of life as possible, hoping that one day he would be able to impress her with his knowledge of telephones and the London underground system.

Prepared though he was, as he buttoned up his favourite blue shirt (matching the buttons up wrong for the third time that morning) James couldn't quite quell that uneasy feeling deep in his stomach.

Lily had fixed his buttons up, attempted to flatten his ever-unruly hair, forced him to eat some toast, and before the both of them knew it, it was eleven o'clock.

"James, just relax," Lily said for the umpteenth time that day as they strode down the Hogsmeade High Street.

"I am relaxed," he replied tersely.

"I swear, if you don't calm down I'll put a cheering charm on you and when you meet my parents you won't be able to stop grinning," she threatened in a low voice.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll relax," James all but yelled.

"Why are you so nervous anyway?" she inquired as they turned down the street to the Hogs Head where Dumbledore had said the barkeep, Aberforth, would hand them the portkey, "It's just my parents."

"Exactly. Your parents," he replied as he held the door open for her.

"But what's so bad about that? I've met your dad," she pointed out, making her way over to a booth.

"Yeah, but that's different," James said.

"Why?"

_Because you aren't going to ask my dad for my hand in marriage at any time in the foreseeable future,_ James thought to himself before realising what he was thinking and nearly swearing aloud for thinking it.

"Just because," was all James was able to come up with.

"Well that's perfectly logical," Lily said with a roll of the eyes. James harrumphed, sliding down across from her a scowl on his face.

"Listen, if it makes you feel better, I'll still love being with you and I will still be your girlfriend no matter what stupid cock up you will inevitably make when you meet my parents, alright?"

"Who says I'm going to cock up?" James said indignantly.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Lily grinned, "I'm only teasing you because I've never taken a boy home to meet the parents before."

"Really?" James responded in surprise, "How come?"

"Never had to go to a wedding before, have I?"

"Oh."

"And… I've never had anyone special to bring home," she amended.

"Oh," James replied much more cheerfully.

"Only thing is, in all the craziness… I may've neglected to mention that you're more than a friend," Lily said apologetically.

"So your parents don't know we're dating?" James said, sounding hurt.

"Not technically, no. It's just…" Lily paused, suddenly awkward and at a loss as to how to explain why she hadn't told her parents about James.

"No, it's okay, I get it," James said, trying not to sound hurt, but completely clueless about Lily's strange behaviour.

"No, no, it's not like that, it's just-"

"We'd better get that portkey," James said abruptly, standing and crossing to the bar where he collected an empty butter beer bottle and held it out towards Lily.

"No, James, let me explain-"

"It's okay, Lily, I understand," he said in that same voice. Clearly Lily didn't feel the same way that he did. He felt like such an idiot!

"Three, two, one-" They both felt that familiar jerking sensation somewhere behind the navel as they lurched forward through space towards Kings Cross.

Landing in a tangled heap, Lily gingerly extricated herself from James, who had tried to break Lily's fall (having naturally assumed that she wouldn't have much experience with portkeys). Before James could suggest that they find Lily's parents, she began to explain.

"Look, the reason I haven't told them about us is complicated, but if you'll just shut up and listen I will explain, okay?"

James nodded dumbly, hoping for his and Lily's sake that there was a good reason.

"Firstly, things have been crazy at Hogwarts, as you well know. I haven't actually written to my parents since Christmas - before we got together - except to tell Mum that you would be coming to the wedding. Last time I had spoken to her you and I were not exactly talking to each other. I thought that it might be a bit of a sudden change to turn around and start calling you my boyfriend."

"So?" James said, unable to keep a hint of bitterness out of his voice.

"So I didn't want Mum and Dad to think that this was an irrational, stupid fling sort of thing. I want them to take this - to take us," she gestured to the air between them, "seriously. And I knew they wouldn't unless I gave them time to get used to the idea of us," she gestured again, "not hating each other."

James just stared at her. She wanted it to last. She did think they were something special - what a relief! How could he have doubted her feelings? _Honestly, Potter, pull yourself together. Of course she wants to be with you - who wouldn't?_

"Plus, I didn't want to steal Petunia's thunder. It is her wedding, after all," Lily added. James remained silent although he was smiling slightly in a way that made Lily's heart jump into her throat.

"Please say something?" she begged. She hadn't wanted to keep her relationship with James a secret from her parents - she did want it to last, and she genuinely hadn't had time to explain their unique situation.

"You haven't told them because you want them to know that this thing," he mimicked Lily's hand gestures, "is going to last?" Lily nodded.

"Sorry, I just-" she began, before she felt those all too familiar lips pressing down on hers. Content that they had a good fifteen minutes to kill before they had to cross the barrier onto the other side of the station, they found themselves in a secluded corner in which to snog.

* * *

Midday finally came around and James realised that this was one of the strangest days of his life. In the space of a few hours he had conducted a quidditch practice, got into an argument with his girlfriend, resolved said argument and then thoroughly snogged said girlfriend, met said girlfriend's parents, been in a muggle car with them (which James found highly entertaining) and had lunch with them all, and was now looking forward to dinner, when he would be meeting his girlfriend's sister - bridezilla. In the interim, Lily had decided to tell her parents about her relationship with James. Having decided that it was probably best James wasn't present for the discussion (lest he inadvertently incriminate himself in some way) she sent him off to her bedroom to write to Sirius.

* * *

Dear Padfoot,

Well, that was an interesting afternoon. Lils and I met her parents outside of Kings Cross at midday and let me tell you they are simply lovely people. Her dad, Greg, is tall and grey. Lily says he's got a muggle disease that makes you lose your memory, so he's a bit forgetful but tonight he was perfectly normal to me. Her mum, Meredith, is an absolutely charming woman. I can totally see where Lily gets her beauty. Although those green eyes - I don't know where they came from. But I'm getting off the topic.

We came through the barrier to find them standing there waiting for us, looking so… couple-y. You can see why Lils is so well adjusted. Her mum was nice as pie, asking how the trip was and how school's going and stuff. Her dad's a whole lot quieter - he drove. I tell you what, Pads, being in a car is awesome! You have to hand it to the muggles, they invent some pretty cool stuff. It's sort of like being in one of the coaches at school. You know - the ones with Thestrals pulling them. Well, cars are sort of like that but more compact and you can drive them yourself. I think I got a bit carried away asking questions about the car for a while - Meredith didn't seem to mind, though - I think she thought it was funny. Lily was also giving me a sort of tour. Not that we haven't been to London before. Remember that time we went with my dad and we got lost in Harrods?

Well, anyway, this was kind of like a Lily's life tour. She pointed out where she went to school before Hogwarts and where her dentist was and stuff (a dentist is a muggle healer who fixes teeth - weird, huh?)

Before I knew it we were at Lily's house. It was really rather nice. A bit smaller than our house, but nice all the same. In fact, I sort of like it better. It had that home-y sort of air to it - I think it was probably the small garden or the impeccably kept curtains that gave that impression.

I helped carry all the luggage to the front door and then carried it upstairs, much to the admiration of Mrs Evans (I need to stop calling her Meredith because I think it might weird Lily out a bit), and then came back downstairs for lunch. We had pumpkin and carrot soup with freshly baked sourdough (I thought you and your stomach would appreciate the details of a good, home-cooked meal) and talked about anything and everything. At first they wanted to know what it was like coming from an all magical family, and then what it was like being Head students together (boring, right?) and then they wanted to know all about my family and stuff. It was pretty good except for the fact that LILY HADN'T TOLD THEM I'M HER BOYFRIEND!

I was rather upset about that, actually, coz what sort of a person doesn't tell their parents that they've found their significant other? And I know you didn't tell your parents about Cat but you don't speak to them anyway so it doesn't count.

But at least she had a good reason (she wanted her parents to take us seriously and last time she wrote to them we weren't speaking to each other). And it's all good now because Lils is telling them about us right now. I hope they take it well.

…

Who am I kidding? It's me! Of course they'll take it well.

I'm sitting in Lily's room right now and it's so like her it's entertaining. You know how Cat's room is messy and full of quidditch stuff? Well, this is the opposite. You know, for two girls who are such good friends they do have strangely diverse taste. Lily's room in painted cream with a pale green feature wall (and I'm sure you don't _actually_ care, but I have nothing better to do, so suck it up). There is, predictably, a massive bookshelf that covers pretty much a whole wall, a walk-in wardrobe (I haven't and will not go in, Pads, even though I'm sure you would. And I know what you're thinking, and no, I don't want to see Lily's knickers… unless she's in them), a small desk and a little collection of stuffed toys (very girly) which I can only assume are her only link to her childhood (or something mushy like that). Her room's actually quite big. I suppose it'd have to be what with this massive four-poster bed in the way. I swear this bed was made for two people. Mind you, Lily's family are pretty well off. Sure, their house isn't a third the size of mine, but it's still pretty posh - I mean, she has a walk-in wardrobe _and_ an adjoining bathroom!

Want to know about the rest of the house? Too bad! It's two story, fairly posh. There are a couple of guest rooms, as far as I can tell, and they're upstairs with Lily's bedroom, Petunia's (the sister) old bedroom and the Evanses' bedroom. Downstairs are the kitchens, dining room, living room, multiple drawing rooms and some bathrooms. It's really rather lovely. I think they have a maid (you know what that is, right? Like a human house elf who gets paid) and probably a cook, although Meredith said she made the soup herself. And it was tasty soup, let me tell you.

Anyway, I'd better go. It'll be tea time soon and Lily said that I'll be meeting her sister - the darling bride to be (note the sarcasm). I don't want to be late.

How's Rachael's nose, by the way. Poppy fixed her up, didn't she?

Keep me posted, Padfoot.

Prongs.

* * *

"So James is now your boyfriend?" Lily's mum asked in disbelief.

"Well, yes," Lily said awkwardly. She was sitting in the drawing room on a couch facing both her parents, whom she had just informed of her relationship with James.

"But when you wrote at Christmas-"

"Yes, I know. But we're past all that now," Lily interrupted.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" her dad asked, speaking for the first time since Lily had explained herself.

"I don't know," Lily said, looking genuinely puzzled, "I suppose I always knew I fancied him I just didn't want to admit it. He's got a rather large ego, you see."

"Well, we're happy for you, sweetheart," replied her mother, grateful that Lily had always been open with them, "Now you should probably go and spend some time with this boy of yours before he starts to feel neglected."  
As Lily left the room, giving both her parents a brief hug, Meredith turned to Greg.

"You know, I really think she does like him."

"He's a nice enough young man. I just hope he's good enough for our daughter," Greg replied thoughtfully.

"Mmm," she agreed, "Mind you, he is the first boy Lily's brought home. That must mean something."

"It means she had to bring a date to Petunia's wedding, that's what it means."

"I think it's more than that," Meredith said thoughtfully. Greg quirked an eyebrow at her, "You think?"

She just sighed in exasperation - clearly her husband was not particularly bright when it came to teenage romance.

* * *

Lily entered her bedroom just in time to see Ringo (James' owl, named after a member of his favourite muggle band) flying out the wind with a small letter attached to his leg.

"Who was that to?" Lily queried as she closed the door behind her.

"Sirius - how did they take it?" James asked in an adorably anxious voice.

"Who? Oh, fine, yeah. They were fine. Why wouldn't they be?"

"Oh no reason. Just worried, that's all."

"Well, don't be - they love you already."

"Who wouldn't?" James grinned, suddenly at ease. Lily threw a stuffed toy at him.

"You arrogant jerk!" she joked.

"Yes, but you love me anyway," he said, without meaning to. Then it was out there. The L-word. Both blushed profusely - Lily's cheeks turning the colour of her hair. Luckily it had been said jokingly or then they would've really been in trouble.

* * *

Inside James' Head:

BOLLOCKS!

I didn't mean to say that. Just coz I say it all the time with Moony and Padfoot, it sort of slipped out.

But it has a completely different meaning with Lils.

Shit. Just pretend it didn't happen.

It was a joke!!

**Inside Lily's Head:**

Ahh, how does he know? Has he been reading my diary? Oh holy Merlin, can he read thoughts?

Stop thinking, Lily! Stop it!  
James, if you're listening - get out of my head!

Oh, stupid Lily! It was a joke. Get it. Ha-ha?

Stop blushing or he'll know the truth.

You're not ready for the truth!! You've only been dating two months! He was kidding!

* * *

"Well, we erm, better get ready for tea," Lily said, looking anywhere but James' face. He was likewise avoiding Lily's gaze, in case she should see his tell-tale blush.

"Yeah, sure. I'm ready now, though," he admitted.

"I'm just going to freshen up then," Lily replied, slipping into the little bathroom.

"Lils?" James called through the door.

"Yeah?" she replied as she touched up her make up, the door still firmly shut between them.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am. Why?"

"No reason," James replied, his cheekiness getting the better of him, "You just seem sort of flustered." The bathroom door flew open.

"I'm not flustered," Lily replied, "You were the one blushing."

"Not as much as you were," he replied childishly.

"You were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were too!"

"Was not!"

'Were too!"

"Was not!"

"Were t- oh, sod it!" Lily said, flinging her arms around James' neck and kissing him passionately - mostly to shut him up and partly because it meant they would both forget the potentially awkward situation they had nearly found themselves in.

James found her rather liked this turn of events (although it wasn't completely unexpected - he knew if he pushed Lily enough he could get her angry enough to kiss him… as illogical as it sounds). Wrapping his arms around his girlfriend, James returned the kiss passionately and Lily felt her knees giving way. Luckily there was a bed fairly close by and they sort of collapsed upon it together. Breaking apart, both breathing heavily, they looked at each other for a split-second before resuming their kiss. Lily sort of fell on top of James at this point, one of her knees between his legs so that she was nearly straddling him. When she came up for air, as it were, James began trailing soft, delicate kissed down her jaw line eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from Lily, who then began to kiss James again. Both of them had a sneaking suspicion in the backs of their minds that half and hour before reintroducing the boyfriend to the parents and meeting the sister from hell was probably not the best time to take their relationship to that next level. And both of them knew that they weren't really ready for it. However, that didn't mean that they wanted to stop. On the contrary, their thorough make-out session lasted for a good twenty minutes, until they both heard a door slam somewhere down the hallway and they sprang apart immediately. They heard footsteps getting closer to Lily's bedroom and suddenly panic set in.

"What do we do?" Lily whispered furiously.

"Firstly, button up your top," James grinned, "And I'll hide in the bathroom."

"James Potter, I could kill you!" she hissed, hastily buttoning up her shirt.

"Ah, but then who would you snog on your four-poster bed in your family home?" he teased before snapping the door shut behind him. Then the footsteps passed and Lily threw open the bathroom door.

"I can't believe you were going to let me take the fall!" she said, although she was unable to keep her eyes from twinkling.

"Ah, my dear sweet Lily," James said with an air of someone explaining something simple to someone slow, "If it was just you, with your shirt unbuttoned and your lipstick smudged, then they couldn't suspect the poor, innocent, newly introduced boyfriend of any foul play, could they?"

Lily just grumbled in response.

"Come on, we'd better go to dinner."

"Okey dokey," James replied cheerfully.

"What put you in such a good mood?"

"Kissing my incredibly good looking girlfriend for an extended period of time. What else?" he replied, placing a light kiss to the top of her forehead as they exited the room.

"Well, I suppose that would put anyone in a good mood," Lily conceded, "But before we get downstairs, I just have to warn you about Petunia."

"I know - there's no excuse for her, right?"

"Well, yeah, I suppose. But seriously, just take everything she says with a grain of salt because she's seriously not worth getting worked up over."

"You make her sound like the spawn of Satan," James said with a chuckled.

"Who's to say she isn't?" replied Lily darkly as they descended the stairs.

Mr Evans met them at the bottom of the staircase and took James off to the side.

"Lily dear, will you excuse us for a minute - I just need to speak to James for a bit," he said. James shot Lily a nervous look as he allowed himself to be led into the nearby drawing room.

"Please sit down," he instructed in an inscrutable tone. James obeyed wordlessly - suddenly he was not so sure that Lily's parents had taken the news so well.

"Now, Lily tells us that you two are more than just friends," Greg said carefully, eyeing James.

"Well, yes, sir, we are," James said politely, fiddling with the cuff of his shirt in a very un-James way.

"And I just wanted to know, what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"Um, well, see, the thing is…" James stuttered uncomfortably.

"You don't strike me as a nervous boy, James," Mr Evans observed.

"I'm not," James replied, "It's just this is scarier than I thought it was going to be," he said before he could stop himself.

"Well, I don't bite, I promise," replied Greg with a shrewd smile, "But I would like an answer to my question."

"I'm afraid I don't really know what you mean, sir," James replied.

"Well, this is the first time Lily has ever brought a boy, sorry - young man-" he corrected himself, "home before and I'm guessing that means something important. And earlier, when she was telling us all about you and your adventures together, she sounded quite…attached," he said the word with a small amount of disdain.

"Really?" James grinned before he could help himself.

"Yes, she did," Mr Evans said, rolling his eyes slightly in a very Lily-like manner, "And I was wondering what are your plans for after school?"

"After Hogwarts?" James queried and Mr Evans nodded.

"Well, I plan on becoming an auror - dark wizard catcher - which requires additional training at the Ministry. I'm going to-"

"I mean, what will happen to you and Lily?"

"Oh, I, err," stammered James awkwardly.

"Because I will not have you leading my daughter on," the elderly man warned, suddenly stern.

"No, no, I would never do that to Lily," James said hastily, "I lo-" but he managed to stop himself just in time, blushing more violently than he ever had before. Greg just gave a knowing smile and said, "It's alright, James, as long as you promise not to hurt her."

"Of course, sir, I promise," James said sincerely, holding out his hand for Greg to shake.

"Good lad. Now, best not keep the ladies waiting," Greg said with a small smile, "Lily did warn you about my eldest, Petunia, didn't she?"

"Err, yes?" James said as he wondered what could possibly be so bad about Petunia.

"Good, good," muttered Mr Evans as they walked into the dining room...

* * *

AN - So, yes. Almost a cliffie - but not quite. I hope i did the meeting of the parents justice. I tried to make them appropriately conservative/interesting/curious/protective of lily, so yes  
i hope it lived up to expectations  
the next chapter will be more humourous what with james meeting vernon and petunia - hooray! also, probably the wedding - hooray some more!  
PLEASE REVIEW if you have time. and thank you all so much for sticking with this story even though it's gone forever and is dragging a tiny bit. it'll get better i promise :) your reviews make me all warm and fuzzy - thank you so much and keep 'em coming! cyber hugs!! :) happy fanficcing!


	36. The Horse and the Whale

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter (sobs hysterically in a corner whilst rocking back and forth)

AN - Well, this chapter is a lot shorter than it was meant to be... but i had severe and i mean SEVERE writers block (which isn't good - it's never happened to me in this story before!) and i just felt that once i posted what i have the words for the next chapter would flow a bit better. so apologies. a new chapter will be up asap to make up for this short one.  
But i hope you enjoy anyway :)

* * *

**Chapter 35 - The Horse and the Whale:**

James entered the well-appointed dining room a step behind Mr Evans. Feeling his heart give another nervous flutter, he allowed his eyes to quickly sweep the room. It was wall-papered in a pale olive green colour, with old fashioned gas lamps in brackets. The long mahogany table was set with the Evans' best silver for… hold on, six people?

Tuning back into reality James looked at the four people already seated at the table. Mrs Evans was at one end, presumably Mr Evans would be sitting opposite her. On her left, in front of the dark window, Lily sat - her expression not dissimilar to one who was facing execution. Opposite her sat the reason for her discontent - her older sister, Petunia. Next to her was what appeared to be a whale jammed into a very tight, unattractive (not to mention, tweed) suit. _This must be the fiancé_, thought James, _I didn't know he was coming. And by the looks of it, neither did Lily._

"James," Mrs Evans said cordially, although James could tell that she was a little more tense than she had been that afternoon, "Please take a seat." James made his way cautiously to his seat, eyeing off Petunia and her tubby dinner guest, before sliding down next to Lily.

"This is my sister, Petunia, and her fiancé, Vernon," Lily said tersely. James sort of half stood up and extended his hand towards Petunia, noting vaguely that she looked somewhat like a horse.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said politely. Never let it be said that James Potter was never taught good manners.

Petunia's long face was curtained by limp blonde hair and her large pale eyes were narrowed in distrust at James' hand. If Mr and Mrs Evans were disappointed by their eldest's behaviour, they showed little sign of it - perhaps out of respect for the young man who had just been introduced as Vernon.

_Honestly, though - 'Vernon'__ - what were his parents thinking?_

Vernon, whose sausage like fingers were now clamped on Petunia's bony shoulder in some show of solidarity or protection, stared at James with his piggy eyes in an expression that mirrored Petunia's.

"Err, okay," James muttered to himself before sitting down again, Lily throwing him an apologetic look.

"We'll have the entrée now, please, Julia," Meredith called over her shoulder and soon enough the maid was bringing out their potato soup.

"So, James, I feel as if we didn't really get to chat properly before," Meredith said kindly, "How are things at school?"

"Oh, they're going pretty well at the moment, Mrs Evans," James said with his brilliant smile, "We're well on our way to winning the quidditch cup, if that's anything to go by." Petunia's eyes bulged slightly at the mention of the magical sport - even though Lily was sure her sister didn't actually know what quidditch was.

"How does that work, exactly?" Greg queried.

"Well," James began, launching into a full on explanation about quaffles and beaters and wronski feints. Lily, who contributed the odd fact here and there, couldn't help but be amused by the discomfort that her sister was suffering. Petunia, who had not spoken a word to Lily since arriving and in fact had acted like she hadn't known her sister at all, looked to be on the verge of swallowing her lips as they got thinner and thinner with displeasure.

Lily had only been introduced to this Vernon Dursley minutes before James had, and she was beginning to fear that her suspicions about him being inadequate for her sister were correct. He was as pompous and self important as her father had written (at least, that is what she surmised from his one-man monologue before being taken into the dining room) and, in all actuality, rather dull. He apparently shared Petunia's views on Lily's 'abilities' and made no effort to conceal his reproach. Additionally, Lily happily noted, he seemed to be turning a rather disagreeable shade of red and a previously unnoticed vein in his forehead had started pulsating slightly. _Serves him right for being so rude_, she thought.

"And you're the captain, aren't you, dear?" Meredith questioned when James came up for air.

"Yes, he is," Lily answered, quite proudly. At this she was sure she heard Vernon mutter something that sounded suspiciously like 'jock' but she chose to ignore it. Then, out of fairness it seemed, the Evanses decided to talk to their soon-to-be son-in-law who, Mrs Evans obviously felt, they had been ignoring.

"Now, Vernon, what is it you do again?" she asked, mostly for Lily and James' benefit.

"I work for my father's drill making company, Grunnings. You may have heard of it, Greg, it's quite large actually," Vernon boasted in a booming voice, pleased that he was now able to discuss mundane things that he understood. Trying not to choke on his soup with laughter at the young man's ridiculous self-importance, James distracted himself by glancing surreptitiously at Lily. She was staring resolutely at her bowl of soup, her previous amusement at her sister's reaction to quidditch completely gone as she reminisced on times past. _Petunia and I used to be so close,_she thought sadly, _I don't understand how things went so wrong. And VERNON! What is she thinking? I get that she wants a normal life - unlike her freakish sister - but there's normal and there's BORING! Why is James looking at me?_

Slightly embarrassed at getting caught staring at Lily, James returned to his soup hastily, a slight blush creeping up his neck.

_Mmm, James' neck,_ Lily found herself thinking, _It really is a lovely smelling neck. __I__ wonder __if I just started touching it at the dinner table if people would find that inappropriate?_

Lily snapped out of her reverie when she realised her sister staring in horror right at her. No wait, she was looking out the window behind Lily. Turning around, Lily saw the reason for Petunia's alarm - a large tawny owl was pecking at the window to be let inside.

"Lily, dear, is that your owl?" Meredith asked mildly. She was perfectly alright with receiving post at the dinner table - it was all rather exciting using owls, wasn't it?

"Um, no, it's not," Lily replied, looking at James quizzically.

Having been so engrossed in his soup (and avoiding Lily's knowing looks) James hadn't even noticed his owl pecking away at the window.

"Oh, sorry. That's Ringo!" James exclaimed, hurrying out of his seat to let the bird inside. Hooting happily, Ringo circled the room before dropping a letter in James' lap and then, much to her surprise, dropped one in Lily's lap as well before perching itself on the edge of the table near Meredith. Greg chuckled at the bird's antics while Petunia let out a small squeal and promptly threw her arms around Vernon who protected her thin frame with his fat arms, whilst glaring at the bird angrily. Anyone would think that poor Ringo had done them personal harm the way they were acting.

"Really, Petunia, it's just an owl," Meredith said in a weary tone, stroking the bird with the back of her hand. "He's quite gentle, actually." Greg smiled in a way that only a husband can - regarding his wife with a combination of admiration and affection.

"That thing should not be permitted at the dinner table!" Vernon cried quite randomly, "It could be carrying avian influenza! I won't have it near my fiancée!"

"Now, Vernon, it's just an owl," Greg replied, not bothering to hide his annoyance at the man.

"A ruddy owl at the dinner table - it's preposterous!" Vernon cried again, this time beginning to swat at Ringo with his beefy hands.

"Oi! Take it easy, mate - that's my owl," James said, trying to maintain some civility towards Vernon, who James was beginning to dislike more and more by the minute.

"Don't call me 'mate', Sonny Jim," Vernon boomed, sounding absolutely ridiculous, "That ruddy bird is about to peck my fiancée to death!"

The owl in question took this opportunity to snap its beak irritably at the salami-like fingers now dangerously close to its head.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Vernon," Lily said contemptuously, "It's just an owl."

"Why do you always have to ruin things?!" Petunia called out unexpectedly, "It's always like this. We could have had a perfectly lovely dinner but no, you have to talk about owls and, and magic and all your _freakish_ stuff!" She pointed a finger at Lily. "_Freak_!" she hissed, eyes flashing.

Lily felt the words hit her like a slap in the face.  
James felt the wind go out of his lungs. He could not believe that Petunia had just said that about her own sister! He thought about all Lily already had to face at school, what with the Slytherins and their vendetta against muggle-borns. But he had never stopped properly to consider that people in Lily's world wouldn't accept her for who or what she is. Lily had said that Petunia was like this, but in all honesty he hadn't been sure how true it was… 'til now. And with this realisation came a whole new respect for his girlfriend… if that was possible, as he already admired her so much.

"Petunia, apologise!" Greg commanded, no longer able to tolerate his daughter's appalling behaviour. Petunia merely pouted, and folded her arms in a negative. James was starting to get really quite angry now. Nobody insults Lily and gets away with it!

"It doesn't matter, Dad, I'm used to it," Lily said stoically.

"Hold on, you shouldn't have to be used to it," James said vehemently, placing a hand on her arm. Lily felt warm, reassuring tingles all the way to her fingers and suddenly it was good to know she had someone other than her parents on her side.

"No one asked you, Potter!" Vernon snapped, seeing that now was the time to be defending girlfriends.

"I'm sorry, Dursley, but Lily deserves an apology," James said insistently.

"James, you don't have to bother," Lily said, "It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," he said, giving her arm a small squeeze. The Evanses remained silent, watching this interaction with interest. Mrs Evans knew she should intervene but for once she wanted everyone to work things out on their own.

"Petunia, I think you owe Lily an apology," James said with an air of forced politeness. Mr Evans was impressed - usually no one got away with speaking to Petunia like that - she really was rather spoilt.

"Excuse me?" Petunia said in a deadly voice.

"You owe Lily an apology," James repeated calmly. Petunia eyed the boy, a hint of fear clouding her eyes.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" she replied rudely. Beside her, her mother gave an angry huff while her father was shaking his head in disappointment.

But she ignored them.

"Oh, I'm sure I could think of something," James said nonchalantly, drawing his wand out of his pocket and idly spinning it between his fingers. Lily looked at James, caught between anger that he was threatening her sister, and amused because she knew he'd never do anything of the sort.

"Don't you threaten my Petunia!" Vernon cried, his face now a delicate shade of puce, "Besides, you can't do magic outside school!" he said triumphantly, "Err, can they?" he added to Petunia who shook her head uncertainly. Then she gained more confidence.

"No, they can't!" she said with much satisfaction.

"Are you going to apologise?" asked James, very agitated now. Petunia shook her head while Vernon spluttered indignantly on behalf of them both.

"Then I have no more to say to you. I'm sorry Meredith, Greg, but I've suddenly lost my appetite," James said politely, before leaving the table and the dining room in surprised silence. It took a minute for Lily to register what James had said, before quietly excusing herself from the table and rushing after him, remembering to take both their letters with her.

"I hope, Petunia, that you will treat Lily better in future," Greg said in that disappointed tone that parents alone know how to pull off, "And remember that if you continue to make her feel unwelcome, you will not be receiving your inheritance upon your marriage to Vernon." This little announcement effectively silenced the bride-to-be, and the rest of the meal was spent in a civilised silence, with Petunia and Vernon retreating to another room as soon as possible.

* * *

"James, wait!" Lily called, following him up the stairs. When she reached the landing she saw that her boyfriend had paused to run a hand agitatedly through his messy hair. Realising that Lily had followed him, he broke into an urgent speech.

"Lils, I'm so sorry I went off like that and I know it was rude to your parents to just leave dinner, but I couldn't stand the way she was treating you. And you shouldn't have to put up with stuff like that. It just makes me so angry," he exclaimed, hazel eyes shining with anger.

"James, really, it's fine-"

"No, it isn't! No one should say those things, but_ especially _not your sister. I'm just really sorry that you have to put up with this rubbish!" he said. Lily felt her heart melt. She knew he cared, but to see him so worked up over something she had come to acknowledge as a fact of life was still rather lovely. His devotion to her happiness and well being was touching. She took his hand in hers and looked up into his eyes.

"Thank you for standing up for me back there," she said earnestly. James just shrugged, trying not to scowl at the thought of the pompous whale and the ceaselessly rude horse.

"It really meant a lot to me," Lily insisted, squeezing his hand. James couldn't help but smile slightly, he was glad to have been of some assistance, after all. Seeing this, Lily moved on contentedly.

"So, who are the letters from anyway?"

"Mine's from Sirius. I know that handwriting anywhere," James said.

"That'd be right. Trust Black to cause trouble even when he's not physically here," Lily grinned.

"Sorry, Lily, I'll give him what for when we get back to Hogwarts," James said honestly.

"I was kidding, stupid! I actually thought the whole thing was sort of funny. Well, until Petunia called me a freak… but I'm used to that," she finished sadly. James responded in the only way he knew how - he pulled her into a tight and comforting bear hug. They didn't need to kiss or get all mushy - there was a time and a place for all that. For now, Lily just needed comfort and James provided it without hesitation.

After what seemed like ages, they pulled apart, James confessing that in spite of his dramatic exit from the dinner table, he was still rather hungry. So Lily had Julia bring them up some cheese sandwiches and leftover apple crumble, which they then ate on the floor of Lily's bedroom. They had put on the radio which played all sorts of muggle music (much to James' delight) and were laughing and talking easily together, as if they were back in their common room at Hogwarts.

When the evening was well and truly drawing to a close, they heard a soft knock on Lily's door.

"Miss?" came Julia's voice, "Mister Potter's room is ready now."

"Oh, right," Lily said stupidly, "Well, I guess this is good night, then?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," James said, a stupid grin creeping onto his face for no good reason.

"So, I'll see you in the morning, then," Lily said, moving closer to him.

"Uh huh," James said, gazing down into the gorgeous green depths of his girlfriend's eyes. Of course, they ended up giving one another a very thorough good night kiss, before Julia's knocking interrupted and forced James to come back to his senses.

"Goodnight, Lils. Sweet dreams."

Lily simply smiled as James left the room and at that moment she felt truly lucky to have James looking out for her.

* * *

Hey Prongs,

Good to hear from you (even if it was only this morning I had you yelling at me for breaking Rawlins' nose). So how's things in muggle central?

Lily-flower's bed sounds sweet - nice a big… if you get my drift? Ouch! I can feel your red hot angry glare from here! I get it - no more mentioning Evans' bedroom (although you wouldn't have brought up her underwear drawer if you hadn't thought about sneaking a peek. I dare you to have a look - Marauders can't refuse a dare, so really I'm doing you a favour - what are best mates for, ey?).

Anyways, Cat 'accidentally' read your letter over my shoulder (which I wasn't too fussed about considering there's nothing too personal in it - hope you don't mind) but now it's gotten her to thinking about our impending nuptials.

I'm worried.

I mean, I loved her when I proposed to her and, well… I still do love her…

The thing is, I may've been a bit hasty with all this proposal business. I always planned on being a bachelor after Hogwarts. I thought you and me could get a cool 'pad' together in London (if we weren't still living with your Dad, that is) but now…

And I still love Cat - that hasn't changed. She's a pretty awesome bird, really, but I don't know if I'm ready to get married!

And thanks to Lily's bloody sister (and, of course, your absence from Hogwarts) it seems like weddings are all she can talk about. It's all flowers this and cake that. What is it with women and weddings?

So, the thing is, from everything I've hear about the sister from hell and her fluffy pink cheesecake of a wedding - which Anna actually told me about, of all people - I think that this wedding would be the best thing to show Cat. Maybe then she'll be put off an actual wedding, who knows? It's cowardly, I know, but it's seriously the only thing I can think of that might put her off marriage that doesn't result in me hurting her feelings. If you can come up with anything else that would be great but for now it's the only plan I've got. So… do you reckon Lils will mind if we make a guest appearance on Tuesday? I'm sure McGonagall wouldn't miss us. Let me know, mate - I'm desperate.

Write back soon as possible so I can arrange the details with Moony and Wormtail.

Your desperate mate, Padfoot.

* * *

Hey Lily,

Hope you're having fun with Potter! Hogwarts is surprisingly boring without you two fighting/snogging/being all awkward and cute around one another. It's just not the same.

Also, Anna is spending less and less time with me (I think 'cause of the Remus thing) so I've been spending pretty much the whole time with Sirius and the other two. Which on the one hand is great because he's my boyfriend, but on the other hand is terrible, because he's my fiancé.

…

It seemed like a great idea at the time - the whole getting hitched thing - but the more and more I think about it, the less certain I am that it's the right thing to do. I mean, I love him and all - don't get me wrong - but I'm young. Far too young to be permanently attached to one person for ever and ever til death do us part. I know what you're going to say, too - If I love Sirius then why would I want to be with anyone else?

Well, the answer is - I don't know if I would ever want to be with anyone else, but if I get married how am I ever going to be sure? I just don't want to do something that I might potentially regret.

But it's not just that. I mean… I wouldn't mind being married to Sirius, I really wouldn't. I love him with all my heart (not to sound sappy, or anything) but I don't know if _he's_ ready to be married.

I don't want him to rush into something he's not ready for. Except maybe he doesn't realise he's not ready and he needs a push in the right direction… But I'm too chicken to break it off - I don't want him to hate me. If he can work out for himself that he doesn't want to get married, then it will be okay, won't it?

But anyway, there is a point to this letter, other than to see how things are going with the wonderful boyfriend meeting the parents and the devil's lovechild (that's your sister, by the way).

I heard from Peter, who overheard Anna telling Sirius, that your sister's wedding is going to be ridiculously over the top and pink and fluffy and, well, yuck. I know you said it was going to be bad but Peter gave me all the details and Lily, really, my heart goes out to you for being made to go. I mean, just 'cause you're a bridesmaid doesn't mean you should be subjected to such…pinkness.

The thing is - about Sirius and I - I don't want to hurt his feelings. I still love him and I don't want him to find out that I don't want to get married just yet. So… I sort of did something. Well, lot's of somethings, that is. I've been constantly mentioning our wedding, trying to put him off. Saying things like I want a ten-tiered cake and seven bridesmaids and whatnot. I know, it sounds terrible! And I feel really, really bad! But, seriously, I just don't have the guts to tell him. And I need your help. I was wondering maybe to help things along (because I really think he's starting to be put off the idea) if we could come to Petunia's wedding? Because, no offence, the wedding sounds truly awful - it's something that would _really_ put him off marrying me. What do you think?

Anyway, it's not the end of the world if we can't come. I'm sure if I keep up the nagging he'll eventually be put off.

I don't want you to think less of me, Lils. I just don't want to cause Sirius any grief, but nor do I have the courage to cancel our engagement myself and tell the truth. I really need your help. Please let me know as soon as possible so that Sirius can organise some sort of distraction for McGonagall. But, again, if you can't I'd understand.

And another thing. I hope you're having a lovely time with James. Just promise me one thing, yeah? Don't get engaged too young - you'll regret it.

But enough about me and my crazy ramblings - I'm sure you have a strapping young quidditch captain to entertain.

Best of luck for your sisters wedding, Lils.

Love, Cat

* * *

The following morning Lily and James had piled into the family car (Vernon and Petunia were driving up separately to the Evanses) and made their way towards Surrey, where the wedding was being held. On the days agenda was meeting the extended Dursley family (and, for James, the rest of Lily's family) plus getting ready for the Tuesday wedding.

Mr Evans had allowed James to ride in the front seat with him as he drove, delighting in pointing out how the gear stick and the windscreen wipers worked - for neither of his daughters had really expressed any interest in cars. Mrs Evans and Lily were catching up on some good old fashioned mother-daughter bonding time which, in the months leading up to the wedding and with Lily away at Hogwarts, had been somewhat neglected. They were doing a crossword together to while away the time in the car, whilst catching up on various things. Of course, Lily couldn't talk about the L-word - not with James in the car - so she decided that it was a conversation she would have to wait to have. Keeping this in mind, Lily thought glumly that it would probably be ages before she could discuss it, seeing as Meredith was obviously going to be very busy once they arrived in Surrey. _Perhaps there will be time at the reception,_ she thought hopefully, staring out the window at the passing traffic.

"Greg, what's a seven letter word for 'spicy capsicum sauce'?" Meredith asked, "Second letter is a."

"Tabasco," Greg replied.

"And what was the name of that place that we went last year?"

"We went several places. What's the clue?"

"City in Scotland, fifth letter d,"

"Aberdeen."

"Thanks, darling."

Lily smiled to herself; her parents got on so well. She was lucky to have them, she thought, lucky that they set such a good example of what a couple in love should be. Despite the fact that five minutes later they were arguing heatedly about which road to take, they were still a lovely couple.

Secretly, James was thinking the same thing. In fact, being around the Evanses and around the constant talk of weddings had gotten him to thinking about marriage. Sirius was doubting his commitment to Cat - and James couldn't blame him. Sirius had never really been the settling down type (if there was such a thing). But James couldn't help but think about whether he was ready to be committed to someone like that. He knew he was young - still in school - but he knew that he loved Lily and he knew that he couldn't possibly live his life without her in it. That was when it hit him, riding in the Evanses' comfortable blue Mercedes - he loved Lily for good, and there was no changing that. It also occurred to him that he had yet to admit this to her, even though he now realised it must be pretty obvious. No, he was not thinking of proposing any time soon. After all, they had only been dating for (almost) two months and he was everyday learning new things about the enchanting red head. But he certainly loved her. For the better part of last year he had denied it in an attempt to gain her friendship and her trust - which he had done - and now they were dating James felt that it was probably a good time to tell her the whole truth. _Yes,_ James thought, _I'm going to tell Lily Evans that I love her. Shit!_

* * *

AN - Okay, despite the fact that they were supposed to meet the extended Dursley family in this chapter, I felt James' decision to tell Lily he loves her was a good place to stop. So in the next chapter there will be brief family descriptions, a wedding and... i'm not going to tell you. but it will end with a cliffie, if that says anything. Also I just wanted to say thank you all soooooo much for sticking with this story and for constantly/consistantly reviewing - it just (sighs in happiness) if that makes sense?  
Any suggestions you have as to particular family members or anything you would like to see happen at the wedding - i'm open to suggestions so let me know.  
I'd also like to apologise for using 'coz' instead of 'cause as a contraction of because - this was pointed out to me in a review as really annoying (thanks for letting me know - 'cause i want my story to be enjoyable to read!) so from now on i'll try to remember to spell it correctly (but i'm too lazy to go back and change the other ones, sorry!)  
yes - that is about it. Thanks for reading and until next time (which should be really really soon - i promise, to make up for the short chapter) happy fanficcing :)

* * *


	37. The Wedding

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter... but maybe JK will give him to me for Christmas... or his father (i LOVE James Potter!)

Also I borrowed a line from Shakespeare in Love - see if you can spot it (even tho it's probably misquoted) and also i've referenced a gag in my s/r and lj oneshot _Gravity_.

AN - So this chapter isn't as long as it was going to be because I'm about to fall asleep! and it's sort of in lots of bits and pieces (mostly coz i had two days to cover in the story and one of them was the wedding which i assume happens in sort of segments...)  
But the other marauders make an appearance in this chapter (altho not at the actual wedding - sorry) and there is some nice light lj fluff.  
ENJOY :)

* * *

**Chapter 36 - The Wedding:**

Upon arriving at the Brettenham Hotel (which, as it turns out, was not in Surrey as Mrs Evans had assumed, but a lovely part of the country - quite distant from central London), where the wedding was to be held, James was promptly introduced to the rest of Lily's extended family (not all of whom knew, for the purposes of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy, that Lily was a witch).

There was a meet and greet, of sorts, in the hotel's dining area. It was just an afternoon tea, but having skipped lunch, the two teenagers were particularly famished. Before they had time to sample some of the lovely looking cucumber sandwiches and fairy cakes, however, they were mobbed by a bunch of Lily's elderly relatives demanding to be introduced to Lily's new boyfriend. This inevitably led to questions such as where had they met, how long had they known each other and what do young people these days like to do on dates?

"Well, Aunty May, James is Head Boy at my school," Lily explained, trying not to imagine her stuffy aunt's reaction should she find out that Lily attended Hogwarts.

"And how long have you known each other?" the intimidating woman asked.

"Since first year. Lily and I are in the same house," James said politely.

"And that would be?" enquired Great Aunt Joyce.

"Gry-"

"Gold house," Lily cut in, "Our houses are named after colours."

"So, young man, how long have you been courting my lovely niece?" asked an elderly man who was revealed as Lily's great uncle. James had to secretly note that the majority of Lily's extended family were exceedingly old - Meredith and Greg seemed to be the youngest parents, with only a handful of people under the age of twenty-five claiming to be a part of the family.

"Well, we've known each other for a long while," James said, smiling wryly at the thought, "But I finally convinced her of my worth about Christmas time, last year."

"I'm still not entirely convinced, you know," she replied jokingly, earning a small chuckle from her elders.

"If you'll excuse us, I need to introduce James to everyone else," Lily said, whisking her boyfriend away.

"Oh, I quite enjoyed their company," James said, "That Bertha was a firecracker!"

"Yeah, I know. Did she tell you the story about when she was a nurse during the war?"

James nodded enthusiastically, "It's no wonder you've got so much spunk, Lils, look at your rellies."

"Spunk?" she said incredulously.

"Err, yeah? What's wrong with spunk?"

"Five minutes with the oldies and you're picking up the lingo!" Lily cackled, plonking down onto a vacant sofa. The carpet was plush and soft as Lily surreptitiously slipped off her shoes and squished her toes through it.

"Well, if you can't beat them, join them, the crazy muggles," he chuckled. Although Lily failed to see what was actually funny, she laughed anyway, just relieved to have gotten another thing off of her to do list. James left her on the sofa for a moment, returning with a platter full of delicious finger food and two cups of tea just the way Lily liked it.

"Mmmm, I could get used to this," she smiled, "I might just have to keep you around." James smiled at the compliment and watched carefully as Lily took a bite out of a tasty-looking pasty.

"What are you staring at?" she said through a mouth full of spinach and ricotta (she _was_ hungry - no time for manners).

"It's just, well…" James scratched the back of his neck nervously, "See, the thing is… there's something I've been meaning to tell, well. That is to say, something I think I should, because you should know that I, err," he stuttered. Damn Lily! Why did she always have the ability to make him act like a bumbling, stuttering fool?  
He could feel the heat of a blush beginning on the back of his neck and he broke eye contact with Lily who, he was slightly annoyed to see, seemed to be amused by his incoherence. She was smiling slightly as if she knew a secret, and her eyes were twinkling in a way that vaguely reminded James of their headmaster.

"Yeeees?" she asked slowly, and he could hear the amusement in her voice.

"I, um, just wanted to say that… I-"

But James was unable to finish his sentence as at that moment the large glass doors leading from the dining area out onto the rolling lawns that surrounded the hotel were thrust open and a gaggle of important looking middle aged people entered the dining area. They appeared to be Vernon's extended family - judging not only by their appearances and their collective air of superiority but by the fact that they were led by the large, pompous man himself.

"That must be his family, then," Lily said dejectedly, slipping on her shoes and forgetting that James had been about to tell her something very important.

"Yeah, I guess so," James said, simultaneously frustrated and relieved that he had been saved by the whale. "Come on, better go be introduced and what not," he said, taking her gently by the hand and leading her over to where Mr and Mrs Evans stood.

Lily stood to the right of her parents, with James on her other side ready to be introduced by her sister to her future in laws.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts Remus and Sirius had been catching up on some much needed Marauder time. For once it was a Monday that they were not dreading as they had the second half of the day free.

Anna had become withdrawn and tended to spend her time with the other Gryffindor girls in hope of avoiding Remus until she was ready to prove to him she was worthy of his time and Cat would not stop going on about the wedding when she was around Sirius. So the boys had sought refuge in their dormitory where the girls had enough good sense not to venture - mostly because it looked like a bombsite and smelled like dirty socks. They had thought Peter would join them but he had been mysteriously absent since breakfast.

Remus was sitting cross legged on his bed by the window, revising his transfiguration notes and Sirius was lounging lazily on the floor, flipping through a quidditch magazine and trying to engage Remus in a conversation about the dangers of gravity.

"But, think about it Moony!" the dark haired boy insisted, "Gravity makes quidditch so much more dangerous. Because of gravity we could fall and die!"

"You're not going to fall and die, Pads," Remus replied in his exasperated Prefect voice, "You're magic, remember?"

"But still… gravity makes you shrink. You're a good half and inch shorter when you go to bed than when you get up in the morning - did you know that?"

"Can't say that I did," Remus replied, now bored.

"Well, I can see that you are plainly not interested in my anti-gravity campaign," Sirius said sadly, throwing aside his magazine.

"Finally the message gets through," Remus looked down at his friend and smiled, "But surely there are other people you could expound your theories with?"

"Actually, no. Without Prongs, I'm at a loss."

"Why don't you chat with that lovely fiancée of yours?" Remus smirked slightly, earning himself a glare.

"You know full well why I'm avoiding her, Lupin, so you can bloody shut up."

"Ooh, touchy. It's not my fault your girlfriend's suddenly become a wedding fanatic," he defended.

"It's not just that, though," Sirius perched himself on the end of his friend's bed instead, "It's about the marriage; it's not just about Cat." Remus set aside his notes, realising a serious conversation when he saw one (especially considering they were few and far between with Sirius).

"I'm not sure if I want to marry her anymore," Sirius said bluntly, looking a bit guilty.

"Why'd you propose to her then?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," was the muttered response - Sirius now had his head in his hands.

"A good idea at the- Sirius, are you honestly telling me you proposed on impulse?"

"Well, yeah, but I love her and all," Sirius replied defensively, "It's just I think I might be a bit young to get married just yet!"

"Sirius-" Remus said exasperatedly.

"Look, I don't need a lecture or an 'I told you so', okay? I just need a solution."

"Have you spoken to James?"

"Yeah - I asked if Cat and I could go to the wedding. Might put her off, you know, what with all the pinkness and frilliness Lily told us about."

"Somehow, I don't think that's the right way to go about breaking off an engagement. Maybe you should just talk to her about it?"

"Moons, sometimes it really is painfully obvious that you haven't had many girlfriends," Sirius replied with equal exasperation, "You can't be honest all the time - it destroys relationships."

"Well, if you're not going to take my advice, quit sulking around here and do something useful," Remus snapped - still touchy about the whole Anna debacle and Sirius' jibe at his pathetic love life.

"Fine, I'm going to go find Pete-y boy. See if he has anything _useful_ to say," Sirius said pointedly, leaving Remus to his study.

Even with the map, Sirius had trouble locating Peter - he just couldn't seem to find his name anywhere. After wandering for a good half an hour, he had just about decided to give up when he spotted the least impressive marauder emerging from the dungeons. _That's strange_, he thought to himself, _Peter doesn't take potions._

"Oi, Peter!" he yelled, catching the boy's attention before he could walk away.

"Padfoot, what are you doing down here?" asked a rather flustered looking Peter.

"I could ask you the same question," Sirius began in a vaguely suspicious voice but upon taking in his friend's rather ill looking appearance, he decided to take the caring approach. "Are you okay, mate; you're looking a little peaky." Peter's eyes darted left and right - as if searching for spies (the corridors were conveniently empty) - before he grabbed Padfoot by the arm and led him roughly into an empty classroom.

"Okay, you're starting to worry and/or bruise me, Pete. What's up?" Sirius demanded wrenching his arm free.

"I was in the Slytherin dungeons-" he began.

"What? Why?!"

"It's not important-" Peter tried to wave it off, but Sirius wouldn't have it.

"My mate skulking around in the enemy's common room - it bloody well is my business!" Sirius interjected, "Are you daft or something, Wormtail, you could've gotten yourself killed!"

"Don't be melodramatic, Sirius," replied the plump boy with more annoyance than he had probably ever used against his friends (which wasn't saying much, considering how spineless he was), "I was down there delivering a note to Agatha's cousin."

"I'm sorry, who and what?" Sirius replied, still completely lost.

"My _girlfriend_, Agatha, has a cousin in Slytherin and I had to deliver an urgent note as she was in class and has detention tonight," Peter lied easily, "But that's not what I have to tell you."

"It's okay, I believe you. I just… gosh - you have a girlfriend!"

"Well, if you and James paid attention to anything outside your own little bubbles you might realise that you're not the only ones with partners!"

"Sorry, Pete," Sirius said sincerely, which only doubled Peter's resolve to tell Sirius a part truth, "I had no idea we were being so self centred."

"Yeah, well, it pretty much goes with the self-centred territory," Peter pointed out before realising that he had been talking back to his friend. What was going on? He _never_ stuck up for himself! Then again, maybe this new found confidence stemmed from his inclusion in another group - one that didn't always leave him out.

"Anyway, if that's all you had to do, then why do you look so anxious?" Sirius asked, "I mean, I know they're Slytherins, but like you said - it's melodramatic to assume the worst would happen."

"I was leaving Agatha's cousin's dorm when I heard some voices," Peter said, speaking in hurried tones, "Male voices - it was Mulciber, Travers and Avery - and they were talking about some bad stuff!"

"What do you mean?" Sirius replied in a low voice, anxious to hear what was clearly distressing Peter.

"I spied around the corner - I've finally worked out how to do that disillusionment charm, see? - and I saw one of them with the mark on his arm-"

"Death Eaters for sure then," Sirius said darkly, more to himself than to anyone else.

"Yeah, and they were talking about an attack. A planned one… tomorrow."

"Where?"

"London. The city centre. I sort of missed the main details but I think it's a muggle attack. You know, for fun? And I was just on my way to find you and Remus and tell you, 'cause we can't tell the ministry - who'd believe us? But - in London, tomorrow-"

"Prongs and Lily," Sirius finished, eyes wide with fear, "Come on, Pete, we have to warn them!"

And the two boys raced back to Gryffindor tower to find Remus and ask his advice. Sirius was eternally grateful to Peter for his excellent eavesdropping skills. Remus was vaguely suspicious of Peter's alibi or reason for visiting the dungeons, but he kept it to himself - no use causing a fuss over nothing. Peter, however, was feeling quite sick. He had no idea how he had gotten himself mixed up with those Slytherins and their Death Eater business. All he knew was he had finally felt useful and included among their number. He knew, deep down, that everything they stood for was wrong and immoral and while it grated on his conscience, the euphoric feeling of being included was just too good to pass up. Of course, he had been told about the proposed muggle-baiting but not invited (he had yet to join their ranks officially, and was wishing that he could in fact find a way out of it because he wasn't sure if he was ready to do their bidding).

Though he was a liar, and a traitor to boot, Peter still felt a strong loyalty to his friends - a loyalty that over time would give way to fear and weakness. But for now he still felt it his duty to warn them of harm. He knew Lily and James would be in danger outside of Hogwarts simply because they did not have Dumbledore's protection, but knowing that they would potentially be in London during the impending attacks was too much for him. He had to let them know, somehow, without arousing suspicion from his friends. He had debated whether the risk was worth it, but ultimately decided that the Slytherins would not know that he had warned his friends and as they weren't a particular target, they would not be missed come time for the attack. He also knew that Sirius and Remus would be hesitant to contact the Ministry or even Dumbledore due to interrogation and, of course, disbelief. The faster route would be to warn Lily and James - so that was what they did.

All in all, Peter Pettigrew was not a bad person. He was just misguided and undervalued - he sought to please as many as possible while keeping his interests at heart. So, yes, he felt a bit sick that afternoon but at the same time rather pleased of himself, for he knew that all would be well for Peter.

* * *

After being introduced to Vernon's parents - who were startlingly nice (if a little fake) people - Vernon's buoyant sister, Marge, his intimidating aunts, uncles, fat cousins and step cousins, Lily returned to her couch and resumed consumption of the now rather limp cucumber sandwiches. James had excused himself to the bathroom and was just washing his hands when he felt a rather warm and tingly sensation in his back pocket. Anxiously thinking that his wand had ignited in his back pocket (again) he hurriedly reached in and pulled out the offending object. It wasn't his wand randomly heating up his buttocks, however, it was the two-way mirror he and Sirius used to communicate with each other in detentions - glowing warmly as an indication that someone wanted to speak to him. James removed the silencing charm he had placed on the mirror (which was the excuse for the heat charm - sort of like placing a mobile on vibrate) lest one of Lily's relatives hear his back pocket speaking.

"Prongs!" Sirius cried, looking very pleased to see him.

"Shh!" James whispered, "I'm in the toilets at the hotel - anyone could hear you!" He backed into a cubicle and shut the door. "Okay, that's better. What's up?"

"So, how's the whole wedding thing going, then?" Sirius asked casually.

"If this is about you coming to the wedding then I'm sorry, no. You'd have to ask Lils, but it's really unlikely, Pads," James said, pre-empting Sirius' demands.

"Actually, that's okay. I sort of figured as much when you didn't write back straight away."

"Oh, that was because Lily's sister's fiancé and I got into an argument in front of her parents and I forgot to read your letter til this morning," James explained.

"You got into an argument in front of Evans' parents? Smooth, Prongs, real smooth," Sirius smirked.

"Is there a reason for this call, by any chance? Because I am at a muggle wedding you know?"

"Sure is. Actually, you might want to sit down for this," Sirius said, turning grave.

"What is it? Is someone hurt? Do I need to come home?" James asked anxiously.

"Sit!" Sirius ordered, before explaining what Peter had overheard in the Slytherin common room.

"So there are going to be attacks or muggle baiting or whatever in London tomorrow?" James repeated after a while, incredulity mixing with worry in his hazel eyes.

"Yes, and we can't alert the Ministry because we don't have any concrete evidence and because it'd compromise Pete. You know what they'd do to him when they found out he was spying on them."

"Yeah, but how would they find out?"

"You know Hogwarts - the walls have ears… or is it eyes, I forget. Anyway-"

"What about Dumbledore?"

"Remus said as prefect he might mention something to him, but again as we don't have any actual proof…" he trailed off.

"Besides, it might not even happen, right? I mean, you know those Slytherins - all talk, no show," he attempted a smile. James remained stony faced.

"Listen, Prongs, we just thought you should know, seeing as you're out of Hogwarts and all. We know you don't leave for London and then for Hogwarts until Wednesday, but we just thought we'd warn you. Just in case."

"Thanks, mate," James replied, regaining composure, "You're probably right, though, and it won't happen."

"Yeah, exactly…"

"So, how is Peter?"

"Hmm? Oh, dunno. He seemed pretty upset before but he and Moony just went down to the kitchens for afternoon tea so I suppose he'll be fine."

"Nothing a good custard cream can't fix for our Wormtail," James grinned.

"Exactly! Anyway, you'd better get back to your meet and greet," Sirius said, air quoting the words even though James couldn't see him.

"And you'd better get back to your over-zealous fiancée," James suggested nastily.

"Oi! Cheap shot!"

"I know, but I couldn't resist," then, catching the look on Sirius' face, he amended, "But really, things will work out fine."

"How do you know?"

"Don't know… it's a mystery," James said with a smile, "Trust me, it'll be right as rain soon."

"Mate, you have been spending too much time with the oldies!" Sirius chuckled.

"You sound like Lily. But whatever, I've got to go."

"Wait! I need to ask you something!"

"What?"

"What is your opinion on gravity?"

"Huh?"

"You know - the anti-height, anti-flying force that binds all creatures to the Earth with incredible power and strength?"

"See you later, Pads," James said with a classic rolling of the eyes.

"But-"

And then the image died on the mirror. Pocketing it again, James returned to the meet and greet, which eventually dissolved into dinner and then supper and before he knew it, it was time for bed.

* * *

"Lily, dear, this is your room," Meredith said, indicating to a tiny, one-bedded room with a small window and a connecting door to an ensuite bathroom.

"Thanks, Mum," she replied, "Night James."

"Night Lily," James said with that small besotted smile he did his best to hide around other people.

"And James, this is your room," Greg indicated to the door right next to Lily's room. "We'll see you both in the morning for breakfast and for the big day." He grinned unexpectedly, clapped James on the back then linked arms with Meredith and strode off down the hall, leaving James with two choices. One - go into Lily's room and keep her company for a bit. Or two - go to his own room and get a good night sleep so as to make a good impression on the rest of the family. Pushing open the door he realised that his room was exactly the same as Lily's except the door to his ensuite was on the right, whereas Lily's was on the left…hold on a minute.

James opened the door to the bathroom, to find a very surprised Lily brushing her teeth. Hastily spitting out the toothpaste froth and rinsing her mouth, Lily stared at James for a moment before giggling.

"Honestly, you'd think they would check that our rooms _didn't_ connect!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, I'm not complaining," James said cheerfully, glad that he didn't have to sneak in to see Lily now.

"Me either - my room's terribly cold," Lily said.

"Mine has a fire place, and all," James pointed out.

"Yeah, it's a pity there's no wood or anything," Lily said dumbly.

"Lils, you're a witch, remember?" James said with a chuckle.

"Oh, right!" she mentally smacked herself. _Stupid Lily! I can't believe James Potter __still_ _has that effect on you. Grow up!_ She pointed her wand at the fireplace "_Incendio."_

"Much better," James muttered appreciatively before collecting Lily in his arms for a grateful thank-you hug. Lily, now minty fresh and ready for bed, snuggled into her boyfriend, glad for the warmth and comfort he provided. Involuntarily she yawned, conveying how tired she actually was. James wasn't surprised - it would have been a very emotionally draining experience for anyone who had Petunia as a sister and Vernon as a future in-law.

"Come on, now, time for bed," he said, scooping her up bridal style. _It's practice for the real thing, _he thought before realising that it's this sort of foolish thinking that got Sirius into trouble.

"But my room's freezing!" Lily protested.

"Okay, you can sleep in my room where the fire is," James replied, perfectly happy as long as Lily was warm and comfortable.

"But that fire was for you - you should get to enjoy it," she mumbled - very much in danger of slipping into nonsense-speak.

"I'll enjoy it in spirit," James said, placing her down on the bed. Then, quite unexpectedly, the bed grew to double it's former size with the room expanding slightly to accommodate it.

"Wordless magic," Lily said by way of explanation, "Now hop in - I won't have this fire go to waste."

"Lils, are you s-"

"James, I'm tired. Please just get into bed so I can get to sleep!" demanded the sleepy redhead. James complied hastily - not wanting to keep his girlfriend waiting.

Slipping out of his shirt and pants so that he was clad in just a singlet, boxers and socks, he slipped in beside Lily who was on the fire side of the bed. He felt her  
snuggle up to him, her back fitting snugly into his chest, his arm draping lazily around her stomach. They fit together perfectly - like two pieces of a puzzle. James could feel Lily's breathing slowing down and decided to have another stab at what he had been trying to say earlier before she could fall asleep.

"Lils, Lily? Are you still awake?" he whispered softly, his mouth close to the back of her ear. She made some sort of affirmative sound.

"Good, 'cause there's something I've been meaning to tell you," he said, taking confidence in the fact that in this position he had no chance of losing his train of thought from staring into those emerald eyes.  
"I just wanted to say that this past month and a bit have been the best time of my life. I never want this to end. Just… just being around you makes me feel like I can take on anything - like I'm invincible. And at the same time, you can make me feel so absolutely vulnerable and helpless. I don't know how you do it, and to be perfectly honest it frightens me. Frightens the absolute shit out of me, Lils," he murmured, his voice low and soothing. "But it's worth it. Because you're smart, funny, loyal, caring and compassionate… you're Lily Evans. The girl I've been trying to get to notice me since first year. And now that you have, as corny as it sounds, I feel like everything is right and like it should be. And the reason why is because I lo-"

_Snore._

James felt his hopes droop just a little. She had fallen asleep during his little spiel about how much and why he loves her. He couldn't be sure exactly when she finally nodded off but he guessed it must've been pretty early - she couldn't have heard past invincible. Again James felt relief that Lily hadn't heard the extreme corniness of his speech (in his defence: it _was _late at night!). He was also relieved that he wasn't about to have his worst fears confirmed (ie if Lily said she didn't return his feelings) but, at the same time, he felt a nagging anxiety that maybe he was never going to get to tell her. Maybe fate was trying to tell him something…? Brushing it off as just plain bad luck, James held Lily closer to him, breathing her in and feeling at once that everything was going to be okay.

The next morning, James awoke feeling a little cold and empty. He then realised that Lily had gotten up and gone back to her own room to get ready for breakfast. Figuring he needed a shower, he strolled into the bathroom and did just that.

After a hasty buffet-style breakfast, Lily had to leave James to get properly done up for the wedding, which gave James a couple of hours by himself in a strange muggle hotel full of relatives that didn't belong to him. Walking around in a proper suit on a Tuesday morning - a school morning - made James feel like he was either in trouble and was attending some sort of hearing or like he was at a funeral. All in all, it was fairly dull, so he decided to write his father a quick letter to pass the time.

* * *

Hey Dad,

So, I'm at that wedding Lily told you about after Christmas - the one between her sister and some muggle called Vernon. And while I'm on the topic, my I just express my gratitude to you for not giving me such a ridiculous name - honestly, _Vernon!_

Anyway, I'm here at a hotel in the middle of who knows where with a bunch of muggles, none of whom I'm related to or have any history with. Lily's getting ready for the actual ceremony so I'm stuck here all alone. I have the urge to break into song about being all by myself. But I'm using self-restraint, Dad, you'd be proud.

Things with Lils and I are going swimmingly (I've been picking up the oldie-speak, please forgive me) and…

When did you tell Mum that you loved her? And how did you know? Did it just hit you all of a sudden or did it grow on you or, I don't know…

I tell you what, Dad, this being a teenager business is tricky. I don't want to get all mushy or anything, but I guess I can tell you anything, so here goes: I think I love Lily. Okay, so you already knew that. You would've guessed, I suppose, after meeting her at the interview what with calling her 'the one' and everything. But I mean _really _love her. And in love with her, too - if that makes sense? I'm talking long term commitment, 'til death do us part sort of love. But how do I know if now is the right time to tell her? I don't want to scare her off!

But I shouldn't even be bothering you with this stuff. It all seems pretty trivial when compared to the attacks and stuff that you have to deal with.

How's the fight against Voldemort going? People at school are starting to call him You-Know-Who. Day by day they're more frightened of him. Does that mean it's getting worse? _The Prophet_ isn't as detailed as it used to be, I've noticed. Attacks aren't front page news anymore. Maybe this is because they want to avoid scaring people, but won't that just leave them unprepared for what's out there? Is the Ministry leaning on _The Prophet_?

Also, I don't know if I should tell you this, but Peter was eavesdropping in the Slytherin Common Room (don't ask why) and he overheard some of them (whom we suspect are Death Eaters but can't really do anything about) discussing a muggle baiting/attack that will take place in muggle London today. He didn't get specifics like time, exact location or who will be involved and he didn't have any evidence so they didn't owl the Ministry or tell Dumbledore, as far as I know. Besides, you know teenagers - all talk. But I thought I should tell you anyway - just in case, you know? I don't want you getting hurt or anything.

Anyway, I'd better go. I'm going to go and try to flatten this stupid hair. Sometimes, Dad, I wish I hadn't inherited that windswept look from you - it doesn't really impress the right people (ie potential future in laws).

Your handsome yet messy-haired son,

James

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary:**

Well, the big day is finally here. Petunia's wedding, that is. Now that it's here I'm really not sure how I feel. At first, I was upset because I felt that her marriage would perhaps ensure that the rift between us will never heal. Then I was happy for her because she's finally found someone to make her happy, despite how much I may dislike him. Now I'm confused again.

I feel like it's a loss of innocence. A firm step in the direction of adulthood and responsibility. And I feel like once she's moved on into that next stage of life, so to speak, we will never be able to go back to the way we were before I went to Hogwarts - they way we were when we were children. But that will never happen - I have resigned myself to this fact, sad though it may be.

And I suppose we all have to grow up sometime or other. Growing up sometimes means growing apart from people who were once very important in your life. But sometimes it means growing closer to others who might come to mean a lot to you later. So I suppose it all evens out in the end…

I'd better go. It's fifteen minutes to the beginning of the ceremony.

* * *

The congregation stood as the bridal music began to play - pews had been set up in rows on the extensive gardens. A small wooden altar had been erected upon which stood a sombre looking priest and a confident looking Vernon. A small, blonde haired girl dressed in a hideous pastel pink gown and white sandals skipped down the aisle tossing flowers pell-mell. James smiled kindly at her. He was placed in the third row on the aisle seat and had both a good view of the procession and of the alter. His eyes followed the little girl, wondering who she was. As he turned back to look for the bride (who should rightly be the centre of everyone's attention) a flash of red passed him by. He looked forwards to see Lily's long auburn hair falling in softly curled tendrils down her back. She was wearing a floor length silk dress (to match the multiple other bridesmaids) in a pale baby blue colour, which actually looked good with her hair. The sleeves were indeed just big puffs of material sitting on the shoulders like blue meringues, and every available inch of hem was soaked in white lace; yet James thought Lily had never looked more beautiful before in her life. She and the other bridesmaids stood to Petunia's side of the ceremony, and the groomsmen to the other (the side upon which James had placed himself). James had to literally tear his eyes away from Lily in order to properly focus his attentions on the priest who was rambling on in a crackly voice about 'the sacred union of two souls in holy matrimony'. Later on in the ceremony, the surprisingly moving vows nearly brought a tear to the hardy marauder's eyes - he hadn't expected such a depth of emotion from two people so… repressed. When finally the groom was told her could kiss the bride, James chanced a glance at Lily - after all, he didn't think he could stand seeing the whale kissing the horse, no matter how in love they might be.

As her eyes caught his she felt that swooping sensation in her stomach - more powerful than it had been since they had begun dating. And that's when Lily worked it out. She _did _love James Potter - she _was_ in love with him. And she was going to tell him just that. Shit!

* * *

AN - So Lily has finally admitted to herself that she's in love with James because before she was all unsure and Lily-esque about it.  
This chapter had to finish there because otherwise it would be entirely too long. I've started writing the next chapter - Warning Signs - which involves the reception and ... i won't tell you because it will spoil it. but there's action. and valentine's day. and the L-word. SO stay tuned!  
PS - i go back to school in a few days and my life is going to be insane (as i'm in year 12 and we're starting to prepare for the end of year exams which get us into uni and what not - so it's all fairly important stuff). I promised myself that i wouldn't allow fanfic to distract me...  
So, i'm probably going to post one more chapter (which will be good - i _promise_) and then (because it will finish on a high note) put the story on hiatus for four and a half months (til november when exams are over). I never ever wanted to do that because i hate it when authors put stories on hiatus especially when they have cliffies and whatnot. but i will finish the chapter on a high note so that there are minimal loose ends to tie up and no-one will die of anxiety wanting to know what will happen next. I could feasibly finish the story, but there's more that i want to put in (sirius and cat's engagement issues, the question of whether or not remus will find a new girlfriend, more on what happens to peter, a massively epic argument/reconciliation with lily and james, potentially a tragedy or two and their graduation). Then there will be a sequel that will go right up to Lily and James' murder. But that will have to be a separate fic.  
So I'm really sorry! I had no idea when i began this story that it would be so long or have so many wonderful readers who want it to keep going. I really appreciate all your encouragement, reviews/suggestions/support - and i really hope that you keep the story on story alert so that when it comes off hiatus in november you can continue to enjoy it.  
SO stay tuned for the next (and final for a while) chapter. And please review! Thanks! happy fanficcing :)


	38. Warning Signs

********

Disclaimer:

I do not own Harry or his splendiforous universe!

AN - THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER BEFORE HIATUS! It's very bits and pieces-y, and is relatively short - but i wanted to get it out. Lily and James are still at the wedding, Sirius and Cat are still trying to dis-engage themselves (see if you can spot the _friends_ reference) and there are troubles to come... read on to find out.  
Also, i'm having trouble with letting go of this story - i don't want to put in on hiatus! so next chapter might not be the last one - we shall see.  
ENJOY! and review :)

* * *

**Chapter 37 - Warning Signs:**

"I still feel like an absolute idiot in this dress," Lily said to James, half an hour later at the reception. The wedding ceremony in the garden had reached its conclusion and the guests had been redirected to the large ballroom (which had been skipped during yesterday's tour) for the reception dancing, toasting and dinner.

"I think you look absolutely lovely, Lils," James said, eyes twinkling, "Even if you do somewhat resemble a blue meringue at the moment."

"Why thank you, Mister Potter, you don't look too shabby yourself."

"Careful, Evans, that was dangerously close to a compliment," James chided. Lily just rolled her eyes at him and smiled.

"You know you _are_ my boyfriend now. You've met my parents, my sister and my extended family. I think it's safe to say that I care about you, James. Compliments sorta come with the territory."

"In that case, let me rectify my past comment," he said suavely, "You don't just look absolutely lovely. You look beautiful," he took one of her hands in his, "Let's dance."

He led the blushing Lily onto the shiny parquet floor and held one hand firmly in his, placing the other at a respectable height on her waist. He began to move slowly and steadily to the sappy wedding music, concentrating very hard on not crushing Lily's feet. For someone with obvious confidence with girls and coordinated skill on the quidditch pitch, James Potter was a rather pathetic dancer.

No more than thirty seconds into their dance, Meredith and Greg waltzed by gaily, with Greg whispering subtly (or so he thought) to James that it was he that should lead Lily, not the other way around. Luckily the next song was a slow number so Lily gratefully put her arms around James and rested her head on his chest.

"You having a good time?" she asked sleepily.

"Yeah, sure. I was just thinking about… oh, never mind," he said, assuming that something would interrupt him anyway should he try to speak about his feelings.

"Mmm, me too," Lily replied with a slightly dreamy smile.

"You seem to be particularly happy," James said, pulling away slightly so that he could better examine her, "I thought you were dreading this day."

"Oh, yeah, I was," she replied, "I thought I'd be sad because I'm losing Petunia. But I guess I can see that she's happy now with Vernon. And who knows, maybe this time apart will do us good and she'll grow up a bit and learn to accept things. Plus the ceremony was just so moving - despite the stupid dresses - I just… I can't be unhappy for her," Lily said, trying to find the words to communicate exactly what she was feeling. Luckily, James could read her like a book so she didn't really have to explain.

"I'm glad Lils," he replied, drawing her back into him for the rest of the song.

"And I suppose it helps that you're here, too," she added, although it most certainly was not an afterthought.

Then the music changed.

"Fantastic! The Beatles!" James exclaimed, pushing Lily out then spinning her back in quickly (a move Remus had shown him in preparation). She giggled foolishly and in the background all that could be heard were those wonderfully appropriate lyrics _"She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah-"_

* * *

"Moony, I've worked out how to break off the engagement!" Sirius exclaimed as he burst into the silent study area of the library, earning himself several shushes and an evil glare from Madam Pince.

"Padfoot!" Remus hissed, "Be quiet!"

"Sorry, mate, but I have to tell you something," Sirius whispered loudly, throwing himself down on the hard wooden chair across from Remus. "Ouch! Who makes these chairs so hard?"

"Sirius, what are you doing here?" Remus continued to whisper.

"She won't find me in here. It's the last place she'd look!" he replied triumphantly.

"Huh? What she?"

"Cat, of course," Sirius said, looking over his shoulder anxiously as if saying her name would summon her out of thin air.

"Why are you avoiding Cat?" Remus asked, completely nonplussed.

"Because he wants to break off the engagement," Peter said, appearing in the seat next to Sirius.

"Merlin!" Remus all but yelled, "Peter, you frightened the pants off of me!"

"Shush, Moony, you'll get us kicked out," Sirius said.

"You're one to talk," he muttered irritably.

"But, as I was saying, Padfoot is trying to get Cat to break off their engagement since he's too chicken to do it himself," Peter continued, unperturbed, "She's been nagging him for the past two days."

"Okay, firstly where did you come from just then? And secondly, since when are you so observant?" Sirius said.

"I finally worked out the disillusionment charm, remember? And I notice things more than you guys give me credit for. And Moony, in answer to what you're about to ask, yes it is cowardly of Sirius to go about this the backwards way, and yes he still loves her - he's just worried about forsaking his bachelorhood." Peter paused for breath, enjoying the slightly stunned expressions on his friends' faces, "And, yes, I know what forsaking means and no, I haven't been reading the dictionary, I've been assimilating Moony's vocabulary."

"Woah!" Remus said with an appreciative grin, "Peter, that was amazing. I can see why you take divination now."

"Thanks."

"Hey, hold on a minute. It's not that cowardly," Sirius said indignantly.

"Yeah, it kind of is," Peter replied, giving Sirius a pitying look.

_Remus_ **Sirius **_Peter_ (**Cat later on)**

_Anyone care to explain?_

**Why are you writing notes?**

_Well I, for one don't want to be kicked out of the library for talking. I would think you wouldn't either - considering you're trying to avoid someone-_

_And the last place you'd be caught dead would be the library._

_But Cat is a smart girl, so we'd better make this brief before she comes looking for you._

**I'm glowering at you, Moons, just so you know.**

_Thanks. Now I believe you were telling me about a plan of sorts…_

**Oh, right! I knew I was in a good mood for a reason.**

_And…_

**I just have to out-wedding her!**

_Out-wedding?_

**Yeah, out wedding.**

_I get it_

_Really?_

_Nope_

**Ha bloody ha. **

_Then explain it!_

**Well, it may've escaped your attention, Moons, considering the unholy amount of time you spend by yourself in the library-**

_Hey, who says I'm always by myself?_

**You were by yourself when we got here**

_Well she has quidditch today._

**Hold up! WHAT? THERE'S A GIRL!?**

_No! I didn't mean it like that!_

**Moony has a secret girlfriend!**

_You're right. A secret studying, quidditch-playing Ravenclaw girlfriend._

**Ravenclaw?**

_They have the pitch booked for this afternoon._

_Very observant!_

**Well, is it?**

_I don't know what you're talking about…_

**Tell me!!**

_Weren't you telling us about out-wedding-ing?_

**I was, wasn't I? Well, you know how Cat's been driving me batty these last few days?**

_Clearly I didn't._

_Well, I did. But that's not the only reason you want to out-wedding her, is it?_

**No. I just can't get married. Looking back on it, I think it was a rather rash decision to make-**

_You think?_

**No need for sarcasm, Mister Moony. **

_Well, really Sirius, it was a rather foolish thing to do in the first place. _

**I loved her, though. Still do, come to think of it.**

_Then why don't you want to get married?_

**I'm seventeen!**

_I can see your point. So why don't you just tell her that you aren't ready?_

**Because she's a girl. She wouldn't understand. And she'd hate me!**

_I don't think you're giving her enough credit._

_I'm with Moony. I think that honesty is always the best policy_

**Listen, I've already made up my mind to get her to break off the engagement. This way she doesn't know that I want out and she can't place any blame on me. I know it's cowardly but what can you do?**

_Tell the truth_

**That was rhetorical, Wormy.**

_Fine, fine. Let's assume that we agree with your genuinely stupid intentions to get Cat to break off the engagement (but not break up with you). What is your plan exactly?_

**I out-wedding her. **

…

**She's been on and on about weddings ever since Prongs and Lily-flower left. So I figured I'd give her a taste of her own medicine. **

_Actually, she has been rather wedding-focused. I noticed that a breakfast the other day. Remember when she was saying how those little muffins would be perfect at your wedding breakfast?_

_Wedding breakfast?_

_Yeah, this girl has gone way out of control!_

**And I have been too. Just now I told her I was going to go off and plan some surprise stuff for the wedding and you should've seen her face!**

_You know, from what I've heard… if I didn't know better, I'd say she was trying to put you off a wedding, Pads. _

**Huh? Why?**

_It seems to me that she's doing exactly what you were thinking of/trying to doing to her. _

_Out-wedding-ing?_

_Yeah. Think about it, Padfoot. She's always talking about the wedding and about how big she wants it to be. You said so yourself, she wants frills and bows and all. _

_Cat isn't a frills and bows girl_

_Exactly!_

**By golly, you're right!**

_By golly?_

**That sneaky minx. I knew I was marrying her for a reason!**

_But, Sirius, you're not ready to be married._

**Yeah, I know. But it doesn't stop me from thinking she's fantastic. I mean - she's just as cunning as I am!**

_Yes, and that worries us all…_

**So should I still try to out-do her?**

_Definitely!_

_I'm not so sure._

_Come on. It'll be funny. Besides - she doesn't know that we know. Sirius might still have a chance of getting Cat to break it off instead of doing it for himself. _

_I don't trust the dishonesty of this plan_

**It's the dishonesty that makes it so utterly brilliant!**

_Well, whatever floats your boat - just don't push it too far. _

**When have you ever known me to push it too far?**

_I am rolling my eyes at you._

_Here comes the bride to be!_

**Change the parchment!!**

**(New Parchment)**

**Hey gorgeous - what's up?**

**Not much. Just wondering where you'd gotten to. **

**Just studying with my good buddies.**

_If you can call it studying - he just keeps droning on and on about wedding plans!_

_It's so annoying!_

**What? How come?**

**I figure I should start taking a bit more initiative with the whole wedding thing - don't you? I told you just before…**

**Oh yeah, you did. Well, I suppose that's good.**

**What's wrong? Don't you want my input?**

**No! No, it's great that you want to help. **

**Good, 'cause I was thinking sooner the better.**

**Really?**

**Yep. As soon as we leave Hogwarts.**

…

**That's not that soon.**

**You're right. What about next month?**

**HUH?**

_What?_

_Next month?_

**Yeah. Why not? We're engaged, aren't we - the next logical step is marriage. **

_Next month is awfully soon, Sirius…_

**Next month it is!**

**What - really?**

**Sure. Like you said, why not?**

**Didn't you want a big wedding, though? That takes serious planning time. There's the venue, catering, flowers, transport, guests, clothing…**

**It's okay. I can do it. Besides, I've got the girls to help me. That is, unless you're having second thoughts..?**

**Of course not! Let's do it! Let's get married!**

**Okay! I'd better get back to my plans then. See you at dinner**

**See you**

_Well, that went well._

_She knows that you know!_

**Again, I'm lost and confused. My brilliant plan failed!**

_That's because she knows that you know. She called your bluff. _

_That actually makes sense!_

_I'm making an effort not to be offended by that comment. _

_So she called your bluff, Pads, now what?_

**Well, obviously I'm going to keep pushing her til she breaks. I will go all the way down the bloody aisle as long as she ditches the nuptials before we get to the I do's**

_Please, Pads, just tell her the truth!_

**No! I flatly refuse. And I know I can win this. If this is the way she wants to play, then I'm going to beat her at her own game.**

_You're truly mental, you know that, right?_

**Sorry, Moony, no time to listen to you and your logic. Got to go plan a truly ridiculous wedding.**

_You know, sometimes I really pity his future children._

_Cat's not pregnant, though._

_I'm sighing in exasperation. All I meant was that he can be genuinely idiotic over some things and I pity his future children for the nonsensical genes they will inherit._

_Why didn't you just say that in the first place, then?_

_I'm going to study now. _

_That was abrupt._

_Well, there's only so much foolishness I can tolerate. _

_Point taken.  
_

"Yum! Good cake!" James proclaimed, before shovelling another forkful of the vanilla wedding cake into his mouth. Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust, but found it hard to keep a disapproving face.

"You know, up until you started eating, you _had_ been the perfect gentleman today," she commented, with a smirk.

"Well, nobody's perfect," James said through the cake.

"You're just lucky my parents are too busy to notice you."

"Where did they get to anyway?" James pondered, taking a gulp of water.

"I think they went back to dan- OH YUCK!" Lily cried. James followed her gaze and chuckled at the cause of Lily's distress.

"They're just snogging, Lils. No need to be so precious."

"That's not snogging. They're practically eating each other's faces," Lily said in horror.

"Well, I think it's sweet," James said, cocking his head to one side observing Lily's parents with a critical eye. Lily slapped him on the arm.

"Stop perving on my parents!"

"I'm not perving," James said in his thoughtful voice, "I am merely thinking to myself that we could probably do a lot better than that."

"You're incorrigible!" Lily admonished, rolling her eyes but smiling all the same.

"And don't you just love it?" James asked rhetorically before pulling Lily on to his lap for a thorough kiss. Several minutes later, they broke apart.

"See, I told you we could do it better than your parents," James smiled, opening his eyes but, to his great concern, Lily's eyes were still shut; her brows were crinkled into a frown and she looked very much as though she was in pain.

"Gosh, I didn't think I was _that_ bad," James said, before realising that something was not right with his girlfriend. "Lils? Lily, are you okay?"  
Her eyes opened, though James noticed they were slightly out of focus.

"All of a sudden, I just have this really awful headache," she said dazedly, "I'm just going to go freshen up for a bit, okay?"

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, James," Lily managed a weak smile, "I'm sure I'll manage just fine alone in the bathroom."

"Call if you need anything," he replied, unable to hide his concern. Lily smiled again, truly touched by his concern, "Sure. Be right back."

To amuse and/or distract himself while Lily was in the bathroom, James began to play around with quidditch strategies using various salt and pepper shakers, small butter dishes and the miniature cutlery as his models. Although when quizzed by one of the passing Dursley relatives, James had to improvise and say it was a game plan for lawn bowls (the first muggle sport that popped into his head) which received him some very strange looks.

Lily, meanwhile, was startled by her wan reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her hair, from all the dancing, now hung limp about her face and shoulders, her normally glowing face was deathly pale and her vibrant green eyes appeared slightly bloodshot. Gripping the marble basin, she felt another incredible wave of pain wash over her and she doubled over, her knuckles turning white with the pressure. She shut her eyes tight against the pain, but immediately regretted doing so. Behind her eyelids she saw the images of her nightmare: she and James sitting on the family couch, the door being blasted open, James' dead body, a baby (whose name she couldn't remember) in a crib, a flash of green light - it was her dream all over again. Only this time it was more vivid than ever before. Although it took all her self control, she snapped her eyes open and let the pain of the headache return in full force. She needed comfort and rest. She needed James.

"Lils, you'll never guess what just…" James trailed off as Lily approached him looking pale as ever. She tried to smile reassuringly at him but it ended up looking more like a grimace of pain.

"It's just a headache," she tried, feebly, but James could see through her instantly.

"No it's not," he replied with a frown, "It's like when you have the nightmares, isn't it?"

Lily didn't need to reply - her eyes told James all he needed to know.

"Do you want to stay here?" he asked. Lily shook her head and grimaced a little more.

"Okay, let's get you home. And by home, I mean Hogwarts. I really think you should see Madame Pomfrey about these headaches," he insisted, latching onto her arm to support her, but Lily resisted slightly.

"I can't just up and leave my sister's wedding! We need to see off the happy couple and we've paid for one more night in the rooms."

"I really don't think your sister or your parents would mind if you left a bit early. You're sick. You know, you're probably coming down with the muggle flu or something. It's a pity they still haven't found a potion for that yet," he mused, "But, seriously, they won't mind that you're going home to get better. They wouldn't want you sick."

"Yeah, I suppose," Lily sighed, "But how are we going to get back? Neither one of us can drive-"

"I could try-" James cut in, excitedly, before Lily shut him down with a violent head shake of disapproval.

"Firstly: I'm too young to die, Secondly, so are you and my parents would kill you if you stole their car."

"Who said anything about stealing? I was more thinking borrowing without permission for an undetermined amount of time," he grinned. Lily just rolled her eyes, as was her custom.

"We'll just have to apparate - that's what I got my license for in the first place," she said resignedly.

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

"What other choice do we have?" she snapped. "Sorry, I'm just tired."

"That's okay. Let's go say goodbye to your parents, then," James suggested softly. Truth be told, he was a bit worried about side-along-apparition with Lily in her current state. He dearly hoped that she wouldn't splinch him or, worse, herself. Sirius' warning from the previous morning had completely slipped his mind. Lily, similarly, had forgotten Severus' warning - despite how she had hoped it was a lie, she knew enough to take caution all the same. Unfortunately none of this came to her mind when she was focused on apparating the pair of them back to Kings Cross for the adjoining portkey.

After a stiff goodbye between the sisters and a sincere 'get well soon, dear' from the parents, Lily and James walked to the back of the large, now dark garden where the actual ceremony had been held. Lily took hold tightly of James' hand.

"You know how to apparate, don't you?"

"Evans, that is a ridiculous thing to say. Of course I, James the marauder Potter, know how to apparate! Just because I don't have my license-"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture," she said, flapping her other hand to shush him, "Just hold on, alright?"

"You got it, boss!" James did a mock salute before he felt Lily's hand jerking away from his own. He grabbed on tight and immediately felt that horrible squeezing sensation - like being forced through a very tight rubber tube. With a loud pop they appeared in a dingy side street in inner London.

Lily wobbled dangerously and James caught her in his capable arms to steady her. Muttering her thanks and dutifully ignoring the pounding inside her head, Lily stepped forward to examine their surroundings.

"Hold on… this isn't where I was headed," she said in a worried voice.

"Don't stress. You're probably just a bit off because you're not feeling well," James suggested, "You can't _always_ do 100 percent, Lil."

"That's not why I'm worried, _Potter_. I actually don't know where we are," she said.

"Why's that a problem? You're with me. I'll protect you," he grinned, before Sirius' words came rushing back to him. "Oh no!" he murmured.

"What?" she asked sharply.

"Listen, Lily, don't freak out, okay? But-"

But he was cut off by Lily conjuring a bucket out of nowhere and promptly spilling the contents of her stomach into it. James tried hard not to show his disgust, but it was difficult - he had an irrational fear of vomit.

"Sorry," she said weakly, dabbing gingerly at the corners of her mouth with her hand, "I guess I really shouldn't have apparated."

"Well, I did offer to drive," James said trying to make light of the situation. Lily just screwed up her nose at the bitter, stale taste in her mouth.

"Here," James said, as though reading her mind, going to conjure her glass of water.

"Stop! You can't do magic outside school," Lily reminded him before performing the spell herself. She was beginning to get quite tired and irritable now.

"Now we really better get going to Kings Cross," James suggested.

"We need to work out exactly where we are, first."

"Okay, use the four point spell."

"How is knowing where north is going to help us with getting to Kings Cross if we don't know where we are in the first place?"

"Well, what do you suggest, Evans?"

"Apparently none of my suggestions are valid anyway, Potter."

There was a stony silence between the two - this was one of the many little arguments the pair had had since getting together but the strain of the situation was beginning to show. Then Lily gave an involuntary shudder at the cold air, James took of his suit jacket and placed it over her shoulders and all was forgiven.

"Listen, how about we go into the nearest pub or café, work out where we are, and then we can get back to Kings Cross?" James suggested.

"Sure, but let's hurry," Lily said, not feeling the need to explain why (particularly since she didn't know how James would react to her having kept the conversation with Snape a secret - he was a bit sensitive about that sort of thing).

James caught her fingers in his, alarmed to feel how cool they were, and strode purposefully to the end of the alleyway.

* * *

"You know, for someone as daring and as bold as he was, Sirius was really bad at the whole emotions-thing," Harry observed astutely. He had just read Sirius' genuinely ridiculous plan and was trying to recall Sirius ever mentioning this Cat character.

"Well, men usually are," Ginny replied with a cheeky smile.

"But really, all this game-playing," Harry ran a hand through his hair - making Ginny grin, "Why couldn't he just come out and say it?"

"Because he didn't want her to leave him. It says so right there," she pointed to Sirius and Peter's messy scrawl.

"He loves her, though… If I loved a girl half as much as he claims to love her, I wouldn't hesitate…" he threw a sideways glance at Ginny. She continued leafing through the collected notes before saying in a determinedly nonchalant way, "Are you asking me to marry you, Harry?"

"Wha-! N-no! I mean, you're only in school still," he spluttered, turning an attractive shade of pink. Ginny did her best to stay cool, just nodding and trying to look disinterested.

"But, I mean… that doesn't mean that I, erm, don't _want_ to," he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

There was a slight pause during which they both blushed, grinned and avoided one another's gaze. The two slightly flustered teenagers went back to reading the notes of their predecessors, diligently ignoring the romantic and/or minor sexual tension that now filled the room.

* * *

James,

This is a very short message in response to the information you gave me this morning regarding potential death eater attacks in the city. It is not being officially dealt with at the ministry as there has been no formal warning, and even if I were to make one, there would be no hard evidence to back up the claim. But as a senior auror you know I have a lot of sway in the office, so I sent out Lucy and Ben (who are an item now - about time!) just to keep an eye on things. So far, they have had nothing to report.

But given the lack of attacks over the past week, I am beginning to feel quite anxious that something big is coming.

So please, James, whatever you do - do NOT go into London tonight. I know you should be staying at the hotel with Lily and her family, but I know you - you have a nasty habit of wandering off, and as I've noticed over the years trouble tends to find you. So _please_ exercise some caution. You are my only son. You are all I have left and I do not want you walking into a potential death trap.

Stay safe, son. And have a lovely time at the wedding.

I almost forgot!

As for the stuff about your mother. I told her I loved her when we were in first year; back in the days when she thought boys were 'icky'. She didn't take it all that well. But obviously I told her again (end of sixth year, I think) and it was the bravest thing I've ever done. Tell Lily how you feel. If she really is 'the one' you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Do not squander whatever time you may have with the one you love, because you will come to regret it later on in life.

With love,

Your father.

Unfortunately James didn't receive this message that evening - Ringo was too slow. James didn't get this letter until it was too late…

* * *

AN - And that's that my lovlies - please let me know what you thought in a review.  
What will happen to Lily and James? How far will Cat and Sirius go to outsmart one another? Who is this alleged mystery girl of Remus'? When did Peter get so crafty/sneaky? And what ever happened to poor old Anna? (altho i don't think she's poor at all)... REVIEW!

PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER:  
_Then there was a deafening CRASH  
"LILY!"_

... I'm evil! :)


	39. Surprises

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I got nothing... Except this story plot and some of my OCs - other than that Harry Potter and co belong to the wonderful goddess JK! Long may we worship her!

AN - I'm a little strange at the moment. This chapter is long and it is the one you've been waiting for folks. apologies if lily and james talk a lot about nothing in this chapter - they're normal people, after all, and normal people rant on about nothing. particularly when one of them has a splitting head ache and the other has emotional issues that he needs to get out. so please keep that in mind when you read it :)  
Catch my AN at the end for more - for now, read! READ AND REVIEW AND ENJOY!! :)

Last time: Lily and James left Petunia's wedding reception to go back to Hogwarts because Lily had one of her headaches - but there were warnings of an attack in Muggle London...

* * *

**Chapter 38 - Surprises:**

"Urgh, I feel like someone has taken a hammer and is trying to break out of my skull with it," Lily moaned, as she flopped down onto a chair. She and James had quickly found their bearings and had realised that they weren't too far away from Kings Cross Station after all. But James had insisted that Lily have a quick rest first, in spite of the fact that he was worried about impending death eater attacks. All he could think about was Lily's immediate comfort.

"Drink this then," he suggested, offering her a glass of water and a pain-killer.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Barman. He was a bit puzzled when I said I didn't know what a 'pain-killer' was, so he gave me one for free." Lily blinked her eyes a little blearily.

"So this is a muggle pub, then?"

"Yeah," James paused, "Listen, I know this is going to come as a bit of a shock to you, but we can't stay here - you know, in London - for long." Lily gave him a confused look. Of course, she knew that there was a potential for danger, but what reasons could James possibly have?

"Lils, Sirius told me about some… attacks? That might be happening?" he said hesitantly, looking into her eyes and trying to gauge her reaction. To his surprise, she didn't appear at all shocked. "Lily, did you hear what I just said?"

"Yeah. I know. I mean, I knew-" she looked away awkwardly.

"You knew?" James asked, voice heavy with incredulity, "How?"

"Severus," she replied in a small voice.

"WHAT?"

"James, keep your voice down," she hissed, eyes flashing, "Don't make a scene."

"Don't make a-" he spluttered, "Lily, since when have you been on speaking terms with _Snivellus_?"

"Don't call him that, Potter!" she replied angrily, "Did it occur to you that he only told me as a warning? Because he doesn't want me to get hurt?"

"Of course he doesn't want you to get hurt! He's in love with you, Lils, anyone can see that!"

"What?" this time it was Lily's turn at being incredulous.

"Come on. We both know what he is. One of that lot. Voldemort's minions," James said in a hushed voice, his normally calm hazel eyes alive with irritation and anger, "Why else would he tell someone of non-magical birth that they were in danger?"

"Why would he tell a Mudblood, you mean?" Lily said angrily.

"Don't put words in my mouth, Evans!"

"I didn't have to. Honestly, James, when are you going to get past this schoolboy grudge?"

"It's more than a grudge, for Merlin's sake! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Enlighten me then," she demanded.

"You have no idea what _Severus_ put me through. Do you know how torturous it was to watch that slimy git with you all those times at Hogwarts? When I knew he wasn't good enough for you, but you couldn't see it, and he was always rubbing it in my face-"

"No he wasn't-" she interrupted.

"Not in front of you. He's not that stupid. But he did. And then in fifth year when he called you that filthy name and you somehow managed to get angry at me!"

"I thought we were past all that," Lily said in a softer voice this time, her eyes searching James' which were still dangerously vibrant.

"You want to know why I loathe him with every fibre of my being - I'm telling you."

"So it's because he mistreated me, is that it?"

"No, it's more than that. He found out about Moony."

"In fifth year, I know." Once again, James looked at her in disbelief. "He kept trying to tell me his theory about Remus, but I kept telling him to stop making assumptions. I had already worked it out and I didn't want Remus to get hurt."

"You're telling me this _now_?"

"Now seems as good a time as ever."

"Well, then, I suppose you know about the Whomping Willow incident in fifth year as well."

"Before OWLS in fifth year? I heard that he tried to get into the Shrieking Shack and that you saved his life."

"The Shrieking Shack is where Remus goes to transform. It's not actually haunted."

"I didn't know that at the time, though. By all accounts it sounded like he had wandered into the house of the violent poltergeists and that you saved his life."

"It's a bit more complicated than that, Lily," James said, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't believe that they had chosen now of all times to be discussing these things. "Sirius accidentally let slip where Moony goes every month. Snape, being the absolute idiot that he is, went to investigate. Sirius came to me, obviously anxious about what he had done and I went to get Snape out of there. But it was too late. He had seen evidence of Moony's secret and he threatened to tell everyone. Dumbledore made him swear not to tell, but it's been a constant worry since. It's more than a grudge, Lily."

"I had no idea."

"Yeah," James said shortly. "Can you see why I got a bit agitated?"

"I suppose so," Lily said. There was a pause. "Do you mean what you said?"

"Which part?"

"Do you actually believe that he…?"

"Yes, Lily, he loves you. As revolting as that is, he loves you. Heck, I should recognise the signs-" James said, looking earnestly into Lily's eyes. Her breath seemed to catch in her throat. Was he-? Did he mean-?

"What do you mean?" she asked in a whisper.

"Lily, I l-"

Then there was the sound of splintering glass as the windows of the pub shattered, spraying shards everywhere. James grabbed Lily by the arm and forced her under their table.

"Oh no," he muttered, extracting his wand from his pocket. "Lily, stay here, I'm going to go help with whatever I can."

"Not bloody likely," she replied hotly, "I'm coming with you. If these are the muggle-baitings Sev told me about, I want to help fight."

James looked at her for a minute, before deciding there was no good arguing with her.

"Alright, but stay close. I don't want to lose you, Lily," he said urgently as she drew her own wand. Scrambling out from under the table, Lily followed James through the pub, noting the shocked muggles who were screaming in fright. She placed a silent shield charm over the small establishment and followed him out the door.

The scene that met her eyes was one of absolute horror. Several of the shop fronts in the narrow London street had been desecrated: the windows smashed in and doors blasted off their hinges. Although the street was narrow, there were a surprising number of muggles running every which where. It seemed they had been driven out of a rather large restaurant several shops down. There were at least seven hooded men and women, each with their wands out, shooting random curses into the crowd. Three or so muggles were floating in the air above the death eaters, spinning like tops and shrieking loudly. One appeared to have passed out, his limp limbs tossing about ceaselessly.

"Look, James!" Lily cried, pointing out the obvious, "It's the muggle baiting."

"In a way, that's a good thing," he yelled urgently, "It means they don't intend to kill, necessarily. It's not a targeted attack. We just need to restrain them. Are you ready?" She nodded fiercely in response, before moving away from James into the throng of people who were still running about like headless chickens. It seemed as though the death eaters had blocked the exits of the street, trapping the muggles in.

"Sirius?" James yelled into the mirror. Sirius' face appeared immediately, his eyes wide and alert.

"It's happening isn't it?" he asked.

"We're in Inner London somewhere," James cried in response, "It's just me and Lily - we need back up. Muggle baiting, not a targeted attack. We need the Order!"

"Do you have a street name?" Sirius puffed, and James could tell he was on the move.

"Gratham Court? I think. Hurry!" James yelled, before shoving the mirror back into his pocket and moving forward into the crowd.

Lily, meanwhile, was kneeling down next to a small child who had fallen over in the chaos and had scraped her leg.

"What's your name?" Lily asked gently, whipping out her wand and quickly healing the wound.

"How- how did you do that?" the child replied in a frightened voice.

"Where are your mum and dad?" Lily tried again, lifting the girl onto her feet.

"They went that way," the child pointed to the end of the street where about six muggles seemed to be pushing up against thin air.

"They must've sealed the street," Lily muttered to herself before sprinting off to remedy the situation. Just as she was nearing the end of the road, she felt something catch about her ankles and she went skidding along the asphalt. _Tripping jinx_, she thought bitterly, _excellent._

"Well, well, what do we have here?" came a jeering voice. Lily rolled onto her back, ready to fire a curse at her attacker, but unfortunately her wand flew from her grasp at the last minute.

"Now, trying to disarm an opponent with a clear advantage in skill wasn't a very clever move, was it poppet?" came the woman's voice. Then, with startling clarity, Lily realised who that voice belonged to.

"Bellatrix."

"Scared?" the older woman replied mockingly, lifting up her hood to reveal her heavily lidded eyes and smirking mouth.

"You wish," Lily said, eyes narrowing. "Didn't expect to see you here, Bella. Muggle baiting? I thought you were only in this gig for the thrill of killing?"

"Oh no, dearie!" Bella cackled, "Torturing those who are not fit to share our world - that seems a worthy goal to me. And who's to say there won't be killings tonight?" She knew she had hit a nerve when Lily's eyes momentarily betrayed her worst fear. "Ooh, the ickle Mudblood is scared! Well, let's have a little fun with her before I hand her over to the Dark Lord. Cruci-"

"Impedimenta!"

Bellatrix keeled over, and Lily took the opportunity to jump up off the ground, retrieve her wand and look up to thank her saviour. Surprisingly it was not James. In fact, it was a woman - perhaps two years older than Lily - who had stunned the death eater.

"Thanks!" Lily said, without waiting for introductions, "Come on, they've blocked the exits; the muggles can't get out." The pair of them hurried to the end of the street where an invisible barrier seemed to be holding everyone in.

"I've seen this sort of thing before," the older woman confessed, dark locks flying about her face, "Looks like a mild containment charm. Sort of like an inverted shield spell," she muttered, before going about undoing the damage, muttering softly under her breath. Lily watched in awe, trying to place the familiar face, whilst keeping the woman safe from behind, lest Bellatrix or one of her minions turn up.

Meanwhile, James was working hard to disarm the other death eaters, although six on one wasn't really a fair go.

The tallest of the hooded men, was busy levitating the muggles, while a second was watching and cackling and a third was shooting random spells into the crowd. This left James to deal with three of them, which was marginally less intimidating.

"Stupefy!" he cried at one, who ducked at the last minute. _Shit_, James thought, _I really should not have drawn attention to myself._ He ducked as a jet of red light flew at him.

"What's this, then?" cried one of the death eaters in a high-pitched voice, "This one's no muggle!"

"He's a wizard!" cried another, "What's he doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question!" James cried, throwing a silent hurling hex at the death eater randomly shooting into the crowd. He was knocked to the side of the action. Not that his comrades noticed.

"Well, would you look at that! He's that tetchy one. Son of the auror," said the first death eater, "What was in the paper months back!"

"It's his fault some of our good friends got questioned!" cried a female voice hysterically, "Him's the one what defied the Dark Lord!"

"Yeah, that was me!" James said arrogantly, hoping that keeping them talking would help him like it had the last time, "And where's old Voldy this time, ey?"

"He dares speak the Dark Lord's name?"

Then James was hit out of nowhere with a pain so incredible he didn't even realise he was screaming and writhing on the ground until the curse had been lifted.

"That's what we think of you!" cried the female voice triumphantly. James just winced and tried to stagger to his feet, only to be knocked back again by a curse.

"This was just a fun outing for us tonight," the same death eater continued, "But I think we got more than we bargained for. The Dark Lord will be pleased when we bring back the filth that escaped him last time."

For once James was at a loss for words. As far as he knew, it was just he and Lily fighting off the seven death eaters. Lily had disappeared - James shuddered to think what had happened to her - and he had no way of contacting her. He was very close to giving up hope. He mentally cursed his own stupidity for letting his guard down.

"What's this, then? The great back-chatter has nothing to say?" mocked one of the death eaters, "Let's loosen his tongue a bit, shall we? Cruci-"

"Stupefy"

A jet of red light from behind the pack of death eaters shot one of them squarely in the back. This gave James all the hope he needed to continue. Remembering that the stupid death eaters had forgotten to disarm him, he sent a silent body bind towards one before the other. He looked on to see his source of assistance running towards him.

"James Potter, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" cried Benjy Fenwick, his muggle jacket flapping out a bit behind him.

"No time for that, Fenwick. We've got to find Lily and round up the rest of these death eaters."

"The Order's on it's way," Fenwick said reassuringly. A jet of green light shot dangerously close to James' ear and exploded a street light above his head. "But let's not get complacent, now," Fenwick grinned, turning to face the death eater - who James realised with shock was Bellatrix - and began a fierce duel with her. James assisted him where he could but Fenwick seemed to have it mostly under control. He finally got Bella in a body-bind and levitated her unceremoniously onto the pile of the other four death eaters they had managed to capture. That left only two, but James could not see where they had gotten to.

"Out; get out this way!" Lily cried to the muggles, trying to herd them out of the narrow street. She knew the ministry would have one hell of a time trying to track down and obliviate all these people, but she also knew that her first and foremost concern had to be for their safety.

"Dorcas Meadows, by the way," the other woman shouted at Lily above the din. Although she hardly thought it the time to be discussing personal details, Lily smiled in acknowledgment.

"I'll be right back! Just got to check on my partner," she cried, vanishing back in the direction they had originally come from. No sooner had Dorcas been lost into the crowd did James appear, shepherding the remaining muggles out.

"Lils!" he cried out in relief, "Thank goodness you're alright!"

"Help me get everyone out and safe," she replied, ushering muggle upon muggle out of the narrow-ish exit. When they seemed to get the idea that nothing was going to hurt them, the muggles all hurried out, leaving only a few left in the very long street.

"That was close," James said, "It's lucky I had help. Remember Benjy Fenwick? Was seventh year about three years back? Hufflepuff prefect, I think," James scratched his chin. "Well, anyway, he was here and he helped."

"Dorcas Meadows helped me unblock the barrier," Lily said, "I think they're a couple."

"Good old Meadows - she was an excellent quidditch player. Pity she wasn't in Gryffindor."

"What about those death eaters?" Lily cried out, suddenly remembering the cause of all their troubles.

"Stunned them. They're all bound together somewhere back there. I think Fenwick has it under control."

"I got one. That mean you had to get about… six? You stunned six death eaters?"

A look of absolute horror crossed over James' face.

"We got four!"

"James, look out!" Lily cried, throwing herself to the ground as a jet of violet light flew past.

"They must've released the other ones," James cried, firing off as many non-verbal hexes as he could think of at the advancing enemy.

"Where are Dorcas and Benjy?" Lily cried, turning her head left and right in search - dutifully ignoring the resumed aching of her brain against her skull. Then the pair were by the young teens sides.

"Sorry, got detained unblocking the other exit and healing a muggle," Dorcas yelled happily - anyone would think she was used to this sort of thing.

"Stupefy!"

"Impedimenta!"

"Petrificus totalus!"

"Incarcerous!"

The spells flew thick and fast through the air. Somehow they had managed to break ranks and spread out. Lily, who was losing energy quickly, was backed up against the shop front of a pharmacy. She allowed herself to be filled up by the ridiculous memory of she and James hunting for a pregnancy test for Cat, and without even thinking about it bellowed "Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery doe burst out the end of her wand and charged her death eater. Sure, he was no dementor, but he had been thrown back onto his behind - Lily took his momentary incapacitation to bind him with a curse (a stronger one than earlier) before casting her eyes back to the fray, looking for James. She saw him shooting curses at two death eaters, one of whom she recognised as Bellatrix.

"Oh no you don't," she muttered, aiming her wand carefully at the evil woman.

"Reducto!"

"Protego!" Bellatrix cried back, as though she had had her attention trained on Lily constantly and had seen the curse coming a mile away. Lily shrieked as her own spell rebounded in her direction.

There was a deafening crash.

"Lily!"

James was so consumed with anger that someone dare hurt his Lily, that he didn't even know what spell he had unconsciously and wordlessly released. It seemed that a powerful pulse emanated from his wand - he was the epicentre of a sort of wave of power, that knocked all the remaining death eaters to the floor. But James didn't care. He had eyes only for Lily.

The spell she had cast had reduced the building behind her to absolute ruins, and had caused part of the shop front to fall forward, covering her in rubble. Lily was somewhere underneath. James felt his heart pounding as he began to shift the bricks and random pipes from the pile, completely forgetting to use his wand. He wasn't even vaguely aware of the Order members and Ministry officials arriving around him. He continued to work tirelessly at the pile, just praying - _praying_ - that she was still alive. He stopped momentarily when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the piercing blue eyes of his headmaster, who simply said  
"She'll be fine."

"She's trapped!" James cried hysterically, feeling tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes.

"She apparated at the last moment James. She's with the healers over there," Dumbledore said kindly. "When you're up to it, we need to discuss exactly what happened tonight."

"Did you get them, sir? The death eaters?" James asked angrily, desperate for retribution.

"Despite your valiant effort, James, the majority of them managed to escape, albeit with heavy casualties. We did manage to detain Amycus and Alecto Carrow, however, solely due to your efforts. You have performed admirably, James. Now I am sure you would like to see Miss Evans?"

"Yes, thanks," James said, wincing as he stood. He was only just now feeling the effects of the battle. He had a long, deep gash down his right leg, his hands were blistered as though he had spilt boiling water on them, and as he reached up to straighten his glasses, he felt a trickle of blood run down from his hairline.

"I'm sure Miss Evans won't care about your appearance, James," Dumbledore said with a wink before sweeping away in his impressive robes to consult the other survivors.

"Lily!" James cried, limping as quickly as his damaged legs would carry him over to his girlfriend.

"Oh my god, James!" Lily cried, moving to stand up but the healer held her down.

"Stay still, miss, you have some broken bones we need to heal."

James ignored the healer's fussing and threw himself down beside Lily, intending to wrap her in a bone braking hug. Thinking better of it, however, he settled for staring at her intently.

"Are you okay?" he asked, eyes filled with concern.

"I'll live," she said with a weary smile, "You?"

"I've been better, but I could be worse," he agreed. "Well, we certainly know how to attract trouble, don't we?"

Lily began to frown, "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I mean, we knew something bad was going to happen, and if it weren't for me getting sick none of this would've happened and-"

"Lils, relax! It's not your fault. I knew too, remember? And besides, if we hadn't been here who knows what sort of damage those death eaters could've caused the muggles?" Lily smiled appreciatively at him.

"You know what, I'm starting to see a pattern here, Potter. Every time I'm with you we seem to end up in mortal peril. Why is that?"  
James began to frown, "Lils, I-"

"James, it was a joke. Just trying to lighten the mood a bit," Lily said, rolling her eyes, "Really, I thought you were a goose all the time, but it turns out you can be quite serious."

"Sirius!" James exclaimed, remembering suddenly who he had sent the cry for help to. "Lily - I'll be right back, okay?"

"Sure," she smiled slightly as she watched her boyfriend limp off to find his mate. And though she knew it probably wasn't the most appropriate time to be wondering such things, she allowed her mind to stray back to their conversation in the pub, just an hour earlier.

"_Heck, I should know the signs… Lily, I l-"_

_Hmm,_ Lily thought, _Was he about to say it? The L-word? Don't get your hopes up, Evans, but you never know…_

"Sir, how did you get the message to come here tonight?" James asked of Dumbledore who was actually in the middle of interviewing and modifying the memory of a weedy middle aged muggle woman. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," he hastened to add.

"Mister Black informed me of your situation, and I sent an owl to the ministry at once - although it appears they had already been informed. I then contacted the Order members and came here directly. Your father apparently had Ben and Lucy patrolling the streets of London just in case, but as it turns out they were down near the Thames when the muggle baiting began. And thanks to the silencing charm placed on the street, they had no idea of the trouble going on." Dumbledore paused for breath. "But you merely wanted to know if Mister Black is here or not, am I right?"

A little ashamed for making his headmaster give an unnecessary blow by blow account turned James' nod of affirmation sheepish.

"He's over there, helping take notes on what happened from some of the remaining muggles. But I'm sure they can spare him for a bit," the headmaster said, before turning back to his own interview. Considering himself dismissed, James turned and began to limp hurriedly towards his best mate.

"Padfoot!"

"Prongs!" Sirius responded immediately, rushing forward to give his friend a very manly hug. Sirius held him tightly for a moment - the thought of losing his adopted brother had thoroughly shocked him - then they broke apart, each clearing their throats - more for show than for anything else.

"Man, Pads, you totally saved my neck. Honestly, I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't gotten help!"

"Well, by all accounts, mate, you had it pretty well under control. When we arrived we saw the death eaters loosening one another's bonds - but you had had them all cornered. My dear cousin included," he added bitterly.

"What is it with her? She seems to be at _every_ death eater attack we've been involved in!"

"Well, to be fair, there have only been two that you've actually been present for," Sirius added, "So far…"

"Yeah, but if you ask me, she's taking the whole thing a bit too seriously. She nearly killed Lily tonight!" James cried, allowing his emotions to get the better of him.

"But she didn't, and that's what we have to focus on," Sirius said, soothingly, "We have to focus on the positives of tonight, don't we, or what else is there? And look at it this way, we'll get her next time and I'll be right there with you."

"You know, when he's not around, you do sound startlingly like Moony, don't you?"

"Oh shut it, hop along. You'd better get that healed properly. It looks like it's oozing… stuff."

"Thanks for that in-depth analysis, Pads," James replied sarcastically, eyeing the greenish pus that seemed to be weeping from the cut in his leg. "You're right, though. I might head back to St Mungo's with Lily. Keep her company and whatnot."

"Hey, James?" James turned around expectantly, "Why did you come here tonight even though we had suspicions about the attack?"

James quickly explained the head aches and the recurring dream thing that kept happening to Lily. Sirius stood in silence, his expression unreadable.

"That's heavy, mate," he said at last, "Does Dumbledore know?"

"About the nightmares, yeah. About tonight - nope."

"I suppose it's a good thing you're going to St Mungo's then. Get it all looked at properly."

"Yeah, I guess," James said uncertainly. Then he regained his composure, "Could you please tell Dad what happened?"

"Sure thing. I expect you'll be a bit busy, anyhow," he replied, nodding towards Lily who was hobbling towards them with a determined expression on her face. It took all James' self-control not to roll his eyes at her stubbornness.

"Thanks, mate. See you later," James said before moving over to Lily. "You should be sitting down," he admonished, reaching out a hand to take one of her own.

"Says you," she pointed out, nodding at his leg, "How'd you manage that one?

"No idea, stings a bit, though," he said with a grave smile.

"Better get you off to hospital then," she said. They were both trying to keep in good humour in spite of the terrors they had seen. They both knew it, and yet it was the only thing that seemed to make any sense. For now, thinking about the intentions behind the death eaters, thinking about the consequences had the Order not arrived was too difficult.

"Come on, Lils. It's time we went to St Mungo's. The healers will take us."

"James?" Lily said as she took his hand, "You know when we were back in the pub before? You were going to say something…" James looked down at her, trying to assess just how much she remembered and how much she had guessed. After all, his Lily was quite bright. He waited for her to continue.  
"Well? What were you going to say?" she asked somewhat impatiently. James thought for a moment; did he want to tell Lily that he loved her - now of all times? He didn't really want her to remember it in association with the muggle-baitings, did he? No - now was not the right time.

"Doesn't matter, Lils. It can wait," he said, though he was slightly disappointed. He continued to lead her back towards the healers, not noticing the slightly disappointed expression on Lily's face.

**

* * *

**

Muggle-baitings on the Rise

There have been disturbing reports of yet more Death Eater attacks in muggle London last night. According to ministry reports, approximately seven masked supporters of You-Know-Who barricaded the inner city's Gratham Court, trapping the muggles inside for entertainment. Eyewitnesses, who will remain anonymous for their protection, say that at least three muggles were being levitated upside-down whilst being taunted. The Death Eaters also fired random curses and hexes into the crowd, physically wounding the majority of the muggles. There have been unfounded reports of use of the Unforgivables – in particular, the Cruciatus curse, however nothing has been confirmed.

This is the third attack aimed purely at muggles in the last month. The Auror Department have claimed that they had been waiting for something like this to occur:

"We were quite nervous given that in the past week there were no reported attacks," says Auror John Dawlish, "We had placed several of our team around London on the night, but they were dealing with other issues when the attack took place."  
Obviously, the effectiveness and purpose of the Auror Department has been questioned, to which the deputy-head of the Auror's office has replied,

"We are in the middle of a war. We are doing the best that we can to protect our world and put a stop to the reign of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We urge the public not to worry and to take every possible precaution to protect themselves and their families." Bartemius Crouch, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, was unavailable for comment on the issue.

It has been confirmed that four wizards were in the muggle area at the time, and though we cannot disclose their identities, both the muggle and wizarding world owe them their thanks. They were able to detain the Death Eaters until ministry wizards arrived at the scene. Two were apprehended and are facing trial. For more information on the prosecution of Amycus and Alecto Carrow, turn to page 3.

* * *

"Do you reckon your parents were two of the four wizards there that day?" Ginny asked Harry, looking up from the _Prophet_ clipping.

"It could just be because it was muggle-related, 'cause of Mum, but knowing my parents…" he trailed off.

"You're just like him, you know?" Ginny said, looking at Harry carefully, "I mean, not just from the pictures, but in all these notes and stuff - you and your Dad seem really similar."

"Really, how so?"

"Well, you're a lot more reserved than he was, by the sounds of it. But it seems to me like he had a bit of a 'saving people thing' too," she air quoted with her fingers.

"Hey! I do not have a-" But he was silenced with a raised eyebrow from Ginny. "Well, it's not like I do it on purpose."

"But you do, though. You care so much. Just like him - you're loyal and honest… and completely rubbish with all the emotional stuff." Harry just looked at her, not sure if he should be indignant or flattered. "It's a compliment, Harry," Ginny smiled, as though reading his thoughts.

"Thanks, I guess," he smiled, reaching down to pick up the next piece of writing - a journal entry from his mother from the same day as the newspaper article, but he found Ginny still looking at him with that intense, blazing sort of look in her eyes.

"They would've been very proud of you, Harry," she said in a strong voice. Harry knew that Ginny had never known his parents and yet it meant so much to him to hear her say it, that he reached across and kissed her full on the lips.

* * *

"How long do you reckon they'll keep us here?"

"Probably overnight - for observation. Why?"

"We have class tomorrow."

"Honestly, Lily, only you would be worried about classes after a Death Eater attack in central London."

…

"There's no need to give me that look!"

…

"Okay, I suppose Remus might be thinking the same thing as you."

"You are so frustrating sometimes, Potter!"

"As are you, Lily my dear."

"Ever the charmer, aren't you?"

"Why of course! Now, how's your headache?"

"It's pretty much gone now. I don't think I should bother anyone about it."

"Lily-"

"No, really, it's nothing. I actually think that's the last time I'm going to have that nightmare."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know, I just have this feeling."

"Are you saying that just to appease me?"

"No. Seriously, I'm fine. I just wish these healers would bloody let us out already!"

"Apologies - but the 'bloody' healers were busy elsewhere," said Healer Smith, walking behind the petition that separated Lily and James from the rest of the ward.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lily apologised immediately, while James tried hard to turn his chuckle into a coughing fit, "I didn't mean it. I was just a bit frustrated about potentially missing classes tomorrow. We're in seventh year - studying NEWT level, you see."

"Are you a Ravenclaw, dear?" asked the Healer with something akin to sympathy on her round face.

"No!" Lily said, vaguely insulted, "I'm a Gryffindor."

"Oh, that's interesting," the Healer remarked, "You seem like the Ravenclaw type." It looked like Lily was about to say something a bit rude to the Healer at this point so James took it upon himself to steer the conversation to safer waters.

"How long do you think you're going to keep us here, then?" he asked politely, putting on his 'responsible' face.

"Just overnight, as you guessed. We're just running tests to make sure that you weren't hit by any stray curses and those potions that were given to you to mend bone-injuries - like that one on your arm, dear," she said to Lily, "Work best with a good night's sleep."

"Thankyou," James said as the Healer waved her wand, copied down some notes on the charts at the end of their beds, and swept from the room to see other patients.

"Well, that was embarrassing," he grinned at Lily.

"That woman was so rude!" Lily exclaimed, "Honestly, _Ravenclaw!_"

"Lily, I think it was meant as a compliment."

"Well, she could have phrased it better," Lily huffed, flopping back on her pillows moodily and wincing at the pain she felt. She had been a little irritated that James hadn't said whatever it was that he was going to say to her earlier. She had admitted to herself that it might not have been a declaration of love, but either way she wanted to know what he had been going to say; she was a naturally curious person.  
Additionally, she was quite put out by the fact that their lovely evening had been ruined by Death Eater attacks and by the fact that it was really her fault that they had been in London at all. Sensing something was wrong with his girlfriend, James gingerly got out of his own bed (trying carefully not to disturb the bandages around his leg) and placed himself next to Lily on her bed. She looked at him sideways until he demanded that she scoot over. Grumbling in an indistinctly annoyed way, she wriggled over and he lay himself down next to her. Once again she felt those butterflies in her stomach kick in even though she knew sensibly that now was no time to be thinking about how kissable James' lips were.

"Lily?" James said in a softer, quieter voice, "Do your parents know?"

"About the attacks? I think Dumbledore said he was going to tell them, why?"

"Because they'll probably want to see you again," James explained.

"I can't take anymore days off school, James," she replied, snuggling a little bit closer to him and laying her head on his chest (not before checking it out for battle wounds, first, though).

"I know. It's just sad that you won't be able to see them again until the long Easter weekend," he commented.

"True, but that's life, I guess," Lily mumbled, "Is there a real point to this conversation?"

"I was just thinking about how important family is," James replied, although there was more to it than that. "I was also thinking about how important it is to tell the people you love that you love them before it's too late or before something bad can happen."

"You can't tell someone you love them just because you feel pressured to," Lily said, suddenly more awake than she had been all night (bar the attack). She could swear that she felt James' heartbeat speeding up and could likewise feel her own pulse rate rapidly increasing.

"I know," James said, hoping against hope that Lily wouldn't freak out at what he was about to say. "Lils, can I ask you a hypothetical question?" He felt her smile into his chest a bit at the mention of a 'hypothetical' - remembering only to well where it had lead them last time. He relaxed just the tiniest bit as she said yes.

"Okay, well… Hypothetically, if you truly loved someone and you couldn't imagine your life without them in it, but you were afraid that they didn't feel the same way back, would you tell them anyway?"

"You know, as a Gryffindor, you really shouldn't be asking that question," she smiled, face flushing with colour because she knew it was directed at her.

"Alright, but what if you knew you wanted to tell this person but the timing was just really, really terrible?"

"Why are you asking me? I don't know much about this stuff," she replied, feigning ignorance. She knew it was a little mean but she needed to hear James say those words. She was too scared to be the first one to say it, no matter how cowardly she knew she was being. James sighed, deciding that now just was not the opportune moment to tell Lily his feelings. Lily, hearing the dejection in his voice, decided that she would try and make things easier for him.

"Okay, so now I have a hypothetical for you: if I wanted to find somewhere secluded in St Mungo's, where would I go?"

"Lily, smart as you are, you do realise that that wasn't a hypothetical, don't you?"

"Where would I go?" she repeated.

"Why, do you want to be alone?" James asked, intensely concerned that he had given away too much and had frightened her off.

"No, you're coming with me. Lead the way," she commanded, wincing again as she got out of bed.

"You know what, maybe this exploration can wait," James suggested, "You need rest!"

"Don't make me hex you, Potter," Lily threatened, "Take me to a hideaway."

James lead Lily down the corridor - luckily Healer Smith was nowhere to be seen, and no one else seemed to care who they were - they went through some double doors and out onto a balcony.

"What? I didn't know this hospital had an outside?" Lily mused, "I thought we were still in Muggle London."

"This looks onto the inner courtyard," James pointed out, "You can't really see it, 'cause it's dark, but there's a lovely little garden in the middle."

"Lovely little garden?" Lily repeated, laughter in her tone, "You are full of surprises." James just chuckled, relieved that they had moved away from the awkwardness of before. "Now, I believe you were going to tell me something earlier this evening?"

Perhaps they hadn't…

"Look, Lils, just forget-"

"Forget what? You haven't told me anything yet!"

"This is the wrong time-"

"When will there ever be a right time?"

"Are we talking about the same thing?" James asked, quite puzzled now.

"Listen, James," Lily took one of his large hands and held it in her smaller one, "We're in the middle of a war, here. Every moment is inopportune and inconvenient. That doesn't mean we have to stop our lives for it. If we do that, they've won. And they _can't_ win."

"I still don't think we're talking about the same thing," James said, uncertainly, "But you're right. We can't put our lives on hold because of the war or because of fear or anything equally irrelevant." He took a deep breath.

"You know, I never imagined it would be like this," he said slowly, surveying their dark surroundings. The stars twinkled above their heads merrily, and the air around them smelt of grass and spring flowers.

"That what would be like this?"

"Us," James replied simply, "It was such a relief when you agreed to go out with me. I don't think I've ever been so excited… or nervous, for that matter," he continued to look up at the stars. "And then, on our first date - our very first date - there is a Death Eater attack and we end up in the hospital wing."

"It was still a good date, though-"

"And then, instead of focusing on our relationship, we're busy trying to work out the love lives of our own tangled up friends-"

"Yeah, but they-"

"And then, on the way home from your _sister's wedding_," he stressed those words, "We get tangled up in yet another attack and end up, yet again, in hospital." He turned his anguished face towards her, "What is it with us, Lily? Why can't we get it right?"

Lily was speechless for a moment. Sure, it sounded bad when you put it like that, but she wouldn't have traded any of it for the world.

"It's just," he looked away again, "I wanted everything to be perfect for you. You deserve better than this lot. And it's not our fault, I know. But every time I try to…" he gesticulated wildly with his hands for a moment before giving up with a heavy sigh. Lily looked at him sadly. She had had no idea that their small misfortunes had upset him so much. As it happened, neither had James - his frustration with not being able to say three simple words to his Lily seemed to have blown everything else out of proportion.

"It doesn't have to be perfect," Lily said quietly, watching James, her James, stare up at the sky, "I wouldn't trade any of it for the world." James looked at her suddenly. She continued, "It doesn't matter about the Death Eaters and the attacks and the interruptions. That's life. We'll deal with it. The important thing is that we're together. And we have been, through all of this."

"It's just-"

"I know, James, you wanted it to be perfect," Lily replied, enfolding herself in his arms for a hug. He kissed the top of her head, before resting his chin atop it.

"I love you, Lily Evans," he whispered.

She pulled away, a little shell shocked that he had come right out and said it, not knowing what to say next. Luckily for her, James didn't seem to require a response right away - he held her back from him by the shoulders, gazing with a burning intensity into her emerald eyes.

"I have loved you since the very first moment I saw you at Kings Cross Station in first year. When I actually met you and spoke to you, you were more interesting and intelligent than anyone I had known. In fifth year I decided that I really liked you but you turned me down-" Lily blushed and looked away at this point. But James lifted his free hand and cupped her cheek, bringing her eyes back to meet his. "You turned me down, and that made me want to be with you even more. I thought I was just in it for the chase, until the end of sixth year. I don't know how but I knew that I couldn't live my life without you in it - as mushy and corny as that sounds. I've been falling in love with you for so long now, Lily. Even if you don't love me back, I doubt I would be able to ever stop loving you. God - I just… I just. I love you!" he veritably cried. Lily stood in shock, willing the tears in her eyes not to spill over. She was completely and utterly speechless. She knew what she should say - what she wanted to say - but her powers of speech seemed to have momentarily deserted her.

"I just… I just thought you should know," James said quietly, disappointment etched into every line of his face, as he dropped his hand and turned to walk away.

Lily shook herself to her senses.

_Lily, what are you doing? The man you love just told you that he loves you and you're just standing there? DO SOMETHING!!_

Without thinking, Lily grabbed the hand that had been on her face moments before, and pulled James back towards her, her mouth meeting his in the most meaningful and loving kiss they had ever shared. She felt James smile against her mouth and pulled away slightly, so they were perhaps a centimetre apart.

"Does that mean you feel the same way?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, his warm breath on her lips sending thrills up and down her spine.

"I refuse to inflate that ego of yours anymore, Potter," she murmured, looking up into his eyes. He stepped away, concern instantly returning to his face.

"Please, Lily. I need to hear you say it."

Lily blushed at the need in his voice. Then, feeling her heart give a nervous flutter, she broke into a radiant grin.

"I love you James. Always have and always will."

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary

He loves me!

* * *

AN - Fangirl squee! Well, I thought it was cute :)  
Please let me know what you thought in a review if you had time  
Also, I've decided not to go on hiatus - i love writing this story too much, and to be perfectly honest it's a lovely escape from the devil that is year 12 mathematics. actually, all year 12 subjects!  
But yes, i just won't be updating on a regular basis (not that i have been anyway - but even less so, if that makes sense)  
So that's that, I'm afraid, and no harm done... i love hp3, don't you?  
Please let me know what you thought of the chapter - i enjoyed writing it - particuarly the fighting scene even if i may have had trouble keeping track of all the death eaters - when in doubt of my ability to count, just remember that the death eaters kept loosening their bonds and that's why the numbers of how many they had captured kept changing... or i like to think so.  
Also, I apologise for the mushiness of James' spiel, but i felt it was necessary. he has loved her for so long - it's only fair! and in relation to ginny's comment, i think James is a bit better at the emotional stuff than harry but maybe we just haven't given harry a chance yet - we'll see what happens.  
also, there will be more on dorcas and benjy later on - they're real jk characters (but you all know that anyway) and they will be important in the sequel to this fic.

Finally, I'd just like to thank all you wonderful reviewers! your comments and encouragement mean so much to me and it just makes my day to come home and see that there are reviews in my inbox! I'd list all your names here but i'm a bit lazy and also i wouldn't want to accidentally leave someone out. but you know who you are. Im sorry i haven't individually replied in a while - i've been absolutely flat out with school - which reminds me, i should go study for that sac on circular functions and antidifferentiation now. But yes - thanks so much for your continued support and stay tuned for more chapters!

muchly appreciation, cyber cookies/muffins and hugs!

Happy fanficcing! :)


	40. Valentine's Day, Coincidences & etc

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter

AN - I AM SO SORRY! it's been forever since I've updated and ah! School has been hectic - literally quite ridiculous in terms of work load but only 2 months left and then i am free forever... that is a really scary thought! But back to the story, because I'm sure no one really cares all that much about my personal life lol :)

This is the most extremely fluffy chapter but I couldn't help it - it's Valentine's Day (in the story, obviously - year 12 hasn't cracked me that much that i actually think we're still in February!). I apologise for any slight gag moments in this chapter as it is a tad cliched and also, for lovers of remus/anna, here's an apology in advance...

Now a refresher because it's been such a terribly long time:  
Lily and James were in that muggle-baiting attack after Petunia's wedding, but they got out alive and at St Mungo's they announced for the first time their love for one another.  
Cat and Sirius are still trying to out-wedding each other as they're both too stubborn to go back on their word.  
Anna is still secretly (sort of) trying to win back Remus because she still loves him, but they are 'just friends' as Remus is cute and unsure of his feelings.  
Nobody cares about Peter so he is probably somewhere with the Slytherins.  
And Voldemort's power and level of destruction is/are on the rise...

* * *

**Chapter 39 - Valentine's Day Coincidences and Touchy-Feely Stuff: **

Professor Dumbledore collected his two Head students from St Mungo's at eleven o'clock the day following the attack in London. Coincidentally, this day happened to be Valentine's Day. Even more coincidentally, it was the day after James had told Lily he loved her and Lily had returned the sentiment. So, naturally, as they walked the short distance down the corridor of the hospital to the fireplace that would take them back to Hogwarts, the quidditch captain and the red head were sufficiently embarrassed by the amount of pink love-heart shaped decorations adorning the walls.

Being the suave boyfriend that he was, James had actually forgotten all about Valentine's Day and hadn't bought Lily a present (although, given current circumstances, he was sure she wouldn't mind). Lily, who had never before been in a proper relationship during that particular time on the romantic calendar (which was partly James' fault in the first place) had seen enough stupid cards and gifts sent to Anna by her hoard of admirers that she knew what to expect. _Although_, she thought to herself wryly, _I suppose expect the unexpected with Potter_.

Upon their arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore had given them permission to take the afternoon off - permission James intended to use to the best of his advantage. Lily, on the other hand, was horrified by the thought of missing more class and insisted on going to her afternoon class - double charms.

* * *

Note Passing in Charms:

Lily Evans, **Cat, **_**Anna**_**:**

**I can't believe it! When we read about it in the **_**Prophet**_** this morning, we were so worried about you!**

We?

**Me and Anna. I know she's been kinda distant lately, but she's really making an effort now. I think she feels bad about how she treated Remus.**

So she should

**I reckon it's time we forgave her, though. **

But she treated him terribly!

**He did keep things from her, though. We have to see things from both sides - and I think she's genuinely apologetic. And if Remus can try to forgive her, then so should we.**

Yeah, I suppose so. 

**And I'm going to need more than one bridesmaid at my impending wedding, aren't I?**

So that's still going ahead, then?

**Of course - I have to out-wedding that boyfriend of mine, if it's the last thing I do!**

Right…

**Anyway, let's include Anna in these notes, shall we? It seems to make sense.**

Sure. I guess it's time I got off my high horse.

_**Hey Lily. How are you?**_

Okay. Bit shaken up, but safe…

**What actually happened?**

I don't really feel like talking about it, if that's okay. I just want to forget about it, really

_**Sure, we understand. **_

**Actually - can I ask one more question?**

I have a feeling you're going to…

**Was You-Know-Who there?**

No, fortunately. But guess who was? Bellatrix!  
_**  
That insane tart? Why haven't they locked her up yet?**_

Firstly, she got away. Secondly, she has friends in high places, I think. Family connections and such - it wouldn't be too hard for her to get off a charge. 

**That's just wrong. **

Yeah

_**But this is pretty morbid - let's talk about something a lot more interesting, shall we?**_

Okay. 

**Lily? What's up? You look like you're about to burst with happiness or something. **

_**I think someone has a secret…**_

**Ooh, now she's blushing**

_**Definitely a secret then. Is it to do with James?**_

No comment

_**Did you have a romantic moment at the wedding?**_

No comment

_**Did he save your life and then claim undying affection**_

**I think you're getting warmer**

NO COMMENT

_**OH MY GOD! HE SAID IT, DIDN'T HE!?**_

**Said what, exactly?**

_**Those three little words every girl wants to hear?**_

**Meet my parents?**

_**NO!**_

**You're not pregnant?**

_**NO!**_

**Will you marry me?**

That's four words

**So it is**

_**Good Godric, he did - didn't he?**_

I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about. 

**Hold on… three little words…**

_**She's getting there now…**_

**HE DIDN'T!?**

_**There we go**_

I have no idea what you're talking about

_**He said HE LOVES YOU!!**_

...

**OH MY WORD!**

**  
**At this point a great deal of squealing broke out, and Professor Flitwick was forced to intervene to see what the cause of the distraction could possibly be in the middle of their revision lesson. He was disappointed to see that his star student, given her current state of disarray and/or excitement, was unable to correctly perform the charm when asked. Lily, herself, was embarrassed enough and resolved to spend the rest of the lesson studying and not passing notes. This didn't stop her gossiping friends from distracting her, though.

"Holy Hippogriffs! I can't believe he finally said it!" Cat squealed delightedly, engulfing her friend in a tight embrace. Lily, blushing furiously, could not help but grin all the same.

"About time too, though," Anna commented pensively, "He has always liked you."

"Yeah, but _love_. I mean, that's a big step," Cat said, "You know what they say: first step love, next step marriage."

"We're not all ready to tie the knot like some people," Lily commented dryly.

"And actually, I have to say - just because you love someone, doesn't necessarily mean you're going to be with them forever and ever," Anna said, sadness creeping into her normally sparkling eyes.

"Still hung up on Remus, then?" Cat asked sympathetically.

"Still trying not to be," Anna replied, "But I can't stop thinking about him. It's never been like this with any other guy."

"Anna, I don't want to sound like a bitch but are you sure you don't just want him because you can't have him?" Lily asked. She had been thinking this was the reason behind Anna's sadness for a while now - the realisation that you can't always get what you want does tend to hit a person right between the eyes. Anna seemed to consider this for a moment before speaking.

"No. I thought about it for a while… you know, when we weren't really talking. And even after Remus and I made up, it was still a bit awkward. And I asked myself that very question. And, well, no. It's not 'cause I can't have him," she paused. "It's because I still love him."

"Wow," Cat said.

"That's a massive thing to say," Lily noted, "Are you sure?"

"I've never been surer of anything in my life," Anna replied resolutely.

"Well, then, we're just going to have to help you get him back, aren't we?" Cat said with a grin, slinging an arm over each of their shoulders, "And while we're at it, we can work out how to out-wedding Sirius."

* * *

Meanwhile, the remaining Marauders had been subtly observing the Gryffindor girls from afar. After confirming that Lily was a-okay, they returned to their seats to slack off and gossip. Yes, the boys rather enjoyed a good chat - particularly if it meant avoiding dull charms work.

"What do you suppose they're talking about, then?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"Why? You reckon they're going on about wedding plans?" Peter chuckled.

"Shove off, Wormy, no one asked you," Sirius snapped, turning to Remus, "What do you think?"

"Anna's hanging out with them again," he observed with an attempt at nonchalance. His attempt failed.

"Still not over her, Moony?" Sirius asked casually.

"Wha- No, of course I am," Remus replied, all too quickly. "So, err, I think they're talking about Lily and James." Not wanting to make his remaining friend uncomfortable, Peter chose to run with Remus' topic of conversation.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed. This observation was followed up with a squeal of delight from the girls' end of the room - "HE SAID HE LOVES YOU!?" - which drew the boys' attention immediately. Lily's bright red cheeks were visible over the bone-crushing hug that Cat seemed to be giving her and so the boys instantly surmised what had come to pass.

"He didn't?" Sirius gasped. Remus' jaw was agape and he had something akin to a look of admiration for the absent James upon his face. Peter was having a difficult time to restrain himself from applauding such a turn of events - it was a habit of his to show undue excitement for his friends, as this ensured their friendship. Remus was the first to recover from the shock.

"He actually did it! Go James!" he whooped most uncharacteristically.

"He's going to regret it," Sirius said with a grin, shaking his head.

"Not all of us go and get hitched just 'cause we're in love, though," Peter pointed out nastily, "So I don't suppose James has anything to worry about."

"Although he probably wouldn't mind," Remus cut in, to prevent a Sirius hissy-fit, "He and Lily are meant to be together, if you believe in that sort of thing."

Sirius just shook his head again. "Someone needs to talk some sense into that boy," he muttered.

"Nah, someone needs to talk some sense into you," Remus speculated with a small smile, "Now how do you plan on out-weddinging your girlfriend?"

* * *

At about six in the afternoon Lily was sitting with Cat and Anna in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, catching up on some gossip before dinner. Well, Cat and Anna were gossiping - Lily was sitting by the window, potions book open on the desk, staring happily out at the grounds below.

"Hello? Earth to Lily?" Cat's voice drifted across the room, jerking Lily out of her happy place.

"Huh? Oh, sorry - was I doing it again?" she smiled sheepishly.

"Yes, you were and while it's all very well and good that you and our esteemed Head Boy have finally admitted undying love for one another, we really need to get on with the plan!" Cat said urgently.

"What Cat is trying to say is that we need your help," Anna said from her position at the foot of the aforementioned bride-to-be's bed. Lily sighed melodramatically - although the effect was lost as she couldn't help but grin - and sat herself down between her friends.

"Okay, so what've you got so far?" she asked.

"Well, we've decided that it will be at the end of this month or the start of the next, as you know-"

"I can't believe you're going to get bloody married before school finishes," Anna interrupted, "Sorry!" she added, as Cat gave her a death glare.

"So, it's at the end of the month or start of the next. Is that it?" Lily asked.

"Umm, yeah. Also, I think we're going to have to have it at Hogsmeade because it'll be the easiest place to get away to. And then you can organise the Hogsmeade weekend to be on the date we choose."

"And who are you inviting?" Lily asked, making notes on a small muggle notebook she had pulled out.

"I dunno, actually. I hadn't thought that far ahead," Cat said, distractedly tugging her earlobe - something she did when lost deep in thought.

"Well, Sirius' family are out of the picture 'cause he lives with the Potters now," Anna said, "So does that mean your parents should come? I mean, it would look sort of suspicious if they weren't invited."

"Yeah, but she could always say that she wanted a small wedding," Lily countered.

"Actually, I convinced him I wanted a big one," Cat muttered glumly, "This is all getting a bit out of hand, isn't it?"

"Just tell him you've changed your mind," Lily said firmly, "Make it so that it's just us lot and the Marauders. Say you want it to be more like a secret wedding - it's more romantic that way. Besides, if McGonagall found out you'd be in it big time - there's another excuse."

"You know what, Lils? Sometimes, I could kiss you!" Cat said with a grin, relieved that she wouldn't be inviting her family to a phoney wedding.

"I'm fairly sure your fiancé would have something to say about that," Lily replied with a laugh.

"Speaking of Black, isn't that his owl?" Anna asked, pointing to the window where a small excitable looking bird was hovering happily.

"Looks like it," Lily said, getting off the bed and letting in the little thing. It appeared to have three small pieces of parchment attached to its leg, two of which were identical, except for the names of the recipients.

_Dear Anna,_

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of_

_Sirius Orion Black _

_&_

_Catherine Euphemia Jones_

_The ceremony will be held at three o'clock in the afternoon on Sunday 4__th__ March_

Anna finished reading her invitation aloud, while Lily watched all the colour drain from Cat's face.

"He's sent out invitations…" she said breathlessly, "What am I going to do? Who has he told? Oh, Merlin! What if he's invited my family?!"

"Cat, calm down, it'll be okay," Lily soothed, even though it really was quite entertaining from her point of view.

"Yeah, these can't even be the real invites," Anna pointed out, "They don't have an actual address for the wedding."

"I don't care!" Cat shrieked, "I am going to _kill_ that Sirius Black!"

"Cat, they're only mock-ups. No need to stress out so much."

"He put my bloody middle name on them!" she cried over her shoulder as she strode angrily out of the dorm.

"Ah, so that's what's got her wand in a knot," Anna said shrewdly, "Typical."

"Yeah," Lily agreed, unfolding the other piece of parchment Sirius' owl had brought.

_Lils, _

_Meet me on the seventh floor opposite the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy at 7 o'clock._

_Love, James x_

Lily could've melted into a puddle of happiness then and there. She knew it was silly as she herself thought that Valentine's Day was nothing more than unnecessary excuse to perpetuate the sales of sappy romantic cards and cheap love-heart shaped chocolates. However, the thought of actually spending Valentine's evening with someone she loved was wonderful and Lily asked herself again why it had taken her this long to give James Potter a chance.

"Oi, Earth to Evans! You're doing it again, Lily!" Anna said slightly irritably.

"Huh? Whoops - sorry," the red head apologised. "Listen, I've got to go get ready. James and I are meeting up tonight and I want to have a shower. I'll see you later, yeah?"

After receiving the weakest of smiles from her friend and a very unenthusiastic 'Sure, see you later' Lily bounded off towards the Head's towers to get ready for her date with James, completely ignoring the battle cries of world war three between Cat and Sirius in the Common Room.

"I just wanted to help!" Sirius bellowed.

"You put my middle name on the bloody things! How is that helping?" Cat yelled, matching his volume.

"Bloody hell, I was only trying to help. Or don't you want a big wedding?" he countered. Cat faltered for a second - but only a second - before replying.

"Of course I want one! Don't be such a pillock!"

"Then why are you so angry?" he demanded, hands placed rather effeminately on his hips. As if suddenly realising that they were in a _very _public place, Cat glanced around the room before roughly grabbing his hand and dragging him back up to the Marauder's dormitory.

"You lot, out!" she ordered at James, Remus and Peter who were playing an innocent game of exploding snap.

"But-" Peter began.

"OUT!" Sirius roared. The others quickly complied, Remus and James raising their eyebrows at one another, Peter scurrying out after them. Cat dropped his hand and turned to face him.

"What is this all about?" Sirius asked, reverting to his 'indoor voice'.

"I just… I don't know," Cat sighed, sitting down on a bed. Of course, she did know. She wasn't ready to get married, but nor was she ready to tell Sirius this and so she was in a bit of a pickle.

"Is it that you don't want to marry me anymore?" he asked her. Straight out. It was as if he knew. She paused for a minute - this was a test. She swallowed slightly - a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Sirius - before responding.

"I still want to marry you." Sirius tried not to let his fear show. He had been sure that sending out practice invitations would freak her out enough to admit her misgivings about the engagement.

"Are- are you sure?" he asked, and Cat was pleased to see how unnerved her was by her commitment - it made her subsequent lies that little bit easier.

"Of course I'm sure," she said, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his middle. He automatically wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin gently atop her head. "I'm just not sure how big it should be," she improvised.

"I thought we were going to have a big wedding," Sirius said, trying to stay focused in spite of his fiancée's delicious-smelling hair.

"So did I, but do you really think we'll find somewhere this short notice _and_ in Hogsmeade?"

"I guess not. Does that mean you want to delay?"

"Dunno, what do you think?"

"I think your parents wouldn't want us to get married while we're still at Hogwarts," Sirius asserted, "I know how protective they are of you."

"So you're saying we should wait, then?"

"Nope. I'm saying it should be a secret between us and a small group of friends. What do you say?" he asked, knowing that he had found the perfect plan. Now Cat would have no excuses and would have to own up to her deception.

"Sure, sounds great," she replied, breathing in deeply with her head still on his chest. "You smell great today, by the way," she murmured.

"So do you," he replied softly and suddenly all thoughts of 'they don't know that we know that they know' and the recently demoted 'wedding of the century' disappeared as he found himself passionately kissing the girl he loved.

* * *

At precisely seven o'clock that evening, Head Girl Lily Evans stood alone outside the tapestry on the seventh floor, anxiously smoothing down her skirt. She had made an effort to look nice for James - after all, it was Valentine's Day - and had decided on a dark purple silk shirt with v-neck and her knee-length black skirt that kicked out slightly. She had gone for class and subtle beauty and had, for a change, steered clear of her signature colour, choosing to stand out for a change. Her hair was in very loose, wavy curls held back out of her eyes by the gold comb her mother had given her for her seventeenth birthday, and her make-up was understated yet effective. She hadn't been sure whether or not to get James a present. In any case, she hadn't really had the time and she didn't believe in Valentine's Day. Yet she felt an odd guilty sensation writhing around in her stomach at the thought of James giving her a present and she not being able to return the gesture. _Oh well_, she thought, _I'm sure James won't have had time to get me anything anyway._

"Wow." Lily turned around at the comfortingly familiar male voice to see James standing before her holding a single white lily in one hand. His hair was still a bit damp, as though he had just emerged from the shower, and he wore his dark jeans and semi-formal white shirt with a few buttons at the top left undone. Lily broke into a nervous grin, "Hi."

"You look gorgeous," James said with a radiant smile, stepping towards her and sort of shuffling on the spot. Lily likewise made to move to him but was unsure of what to do. There was an awkward first-date-esque moment when they both hovered near each other, uncertain of what to do, avoiding each other's eyes.

"Oh, sod it," James said, grabbing Lily and pulling her roughly into a passionate hello kiss that made her knees buckle and her head spin.

"Whoa," she murmured as they pulled apart.

"Yeah," James agreed with a sheepish grin that made the butterflies in Lily's stomach go crazy. "Umm, well, this is for you," he offered her the lily and she accepted it graciously, trying not to shudder at the tingles she still got when their fingers brushed.

"Sorry, but I didn't really have time to get you anything," she apologised in anguished tones, "It was just so crazy with the party and then the attack and-"

"Don't worry, Lils. It's enough that you're here with me," James smiled sincerely. After another moment of awkward 'eye-staring' James cleared his throat - shaking them both out of their reverie - and looked over his shoulders as if to check the corridor for strangers.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked bemusedly.

"Stay here," James instructed and he began to walk back and forth in front of the same bare expanse of wall, eyes shut in apparent concentration.

"James, what are you…" but Lily trailed off as a random wooden door appeared where there had previously been blank wall. "What on Earth?"

"This, my dearest Lily-flower, is the room of requirement," James announced proudly - anyone listening would have thought he'd invented it himself.

"The come and go room?" Lily asked in awe.

"The very same," James replied with an appreciative smile, "After you, my lady."

"Why thank-you, kind sir," she replied with a chuckle, allowing herself to be shown inside the dark room.  
As the door shut behind them, candles suddenly burst into flame casting the formerly dark room into a soft flickering light. They stood at the edge of a small circular room, walls lined with the floating candles; a small table was set for two in the centre while soft tinkling music seemed to be seeping through the walls. She was so overwhelmed, all Lily could do was laugh.

"How long did it take you to do this?" she asked walking over to the table and idly touching the shiny cutlery.

"A marauder never reveals his secrets," James replied cheekily, pulling out Lily's seat for her. When they were both seated the pair struck up conversation about their days, their friends and really any little thing that they could be bothered talking about. It was comfortable - all vestiges of awkwardness had disappeared - for they knew that they didn't have to impress one another (although James still loved to make Lily laugh) and that they could just be themselves. The main course passed in comfortable silence, punctuated by the odd anecdote from James, and before they knew it, it was nearly nine o'clock.

"We should have dessert and go," Lily suggested.

"Yeah, guess so. We have patrol tonight, don't we?"

Lily nodded, "And with it being the 'most romantic day of the year' all the broom cupboards will be taken."

James grinned mischievously, "What would they do if they found their two head students sharing a cupboard, I wonder."

"Potter!" she chided, but a pleasant blush crept onto her cheeks nonetheless.

"Well, I suppose we could make out here, if you would prefer?" - there was that cheeky grin again - that cheeky grin that was so bloody contagious.

"I guess it'd be okay if you had the Head Girl's permission," she said coyly, before moving in to kiss him fully on the lips.

As it turned out, Lily and James busted no more than fifteen couples that night, all of whom had been 'exchanging Valentine's gifts' as James so eloquently put it, albeit in a very physical way. Even more coincidentally, the last pair they caught - this time out on the astronomy tower - were Cat and Sirius…

* * *

Earlier that evening...

"Come on, Sirius, just this once?"

"No, it's tacky! I don't take girls up there anymore because you know as well as I do that it's where couples go to… get intimate."

"You're blushing!"

"I am not!"

"Besides, we don't have to 'get intimate'. In fact, I do believe you promised we wouldn't."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here and argue about our wedding instead?"

"Don't be a twat, of course I don't. This night can just be about us, okay?"

"You've twisted my arm, Jones."

"You know you love it, Black."

Remus shook his head with a bemused smile as he heard Sirius and Cat finally go somewhere for their romantic evening. Well, considering it hadn't been at all planned, it probably wouldn't turn out all that romantic, but it's the thought that counts. He was just about to return to the potions question that had been plaguing him for fifteen minutes when he saw a small snowy owl sitting on the empty chair next to him. Considering he was by the window on one of the rarely used study tables, he was not entirely surprised that it had found him with such ease.

"And who do you belong to, then?" he mused, before noticing a small pale envelope attached to it's leg. "Is this for me?"

Without further ado, Remus undid the tie and took the small note in his hands, absently noting the bird fly off out the window (which was letting in a good deal of cold air, now that he thought about it). He didn't recognise the neat, curvy handwriting on the front - addressing the note to him - and hence broke the seal with caution.

_To Remus Lupin,_

_Happy Valentine's Day… well, what's left of it. _

_I'm just writing this note to tell you a few things about myself… on Valentine's Day. _

_I'm a seventh year. _

_I'm not in Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Gryffindor. _

_I am in several of your classes and tend to speak up - although this has regrettably gone unnoticed by the smartest boy in our year level. _

_I enjoy quidditch and am a reserve for my house's team. _

_I noticed you before you started dating that girl in your year. _

_And I notice you now that you are single again. _

_I'm a bit forward, as you can see, (although I'm going to blame my match-making friend for that) but I just wanted to let you know that I think you're…_

_Lovely. Charming, too. And, though you don't notice it, rather good looking. _

_I just thought you ought to know that I think this just in case you…_

_(This is more difficult than I thought it would be)_

_May as well just say it: Just in case you ever decide you're in need of a girlfriend. Or a casual snogging partner, I'm not really bothered either way. Well, I am. But I don't fancy getting into that now... In an anonymous note. Which, by the way, is turning out to be more of an essay than anything, so I'm going to stop. Suffice it to say that I fancy you. And, knowing that you're a fan of secrecy, I'm not going to tell you who I am…._

_Although, I will probably wandering the castle somewhere near the kitchens at approximately 8 o'clock tonight…._

_Hoping you are having a nice evening (although you're probably doing that potions assignment), _

_CS_

_Ps I thought you'd appreciate the initials just in case you felt like putting that brain of yours to good use and working out who I am. _

Remus sat in puzzled silence, staring at the letter in his hands. He didn't know what to think but his mind was going at a million miles an hour: Who had sent it? Which seventh year Ravenclaw had the initials CS? Was she stalking him? Did he feel flattered? Was he looking for a girlfriend? Did he care that it wasn't from Anna? What did this girl mean by he liked secrecy? That was what stood out to him most of all. Remus didn't _like_ secrecy, he just found it to be a necessary part of his existence. And whoever this girl was he had to know what she supposedly knew or suspected about him. With this in mind, he gathered his things and swept off to the kitchens muttering briefly to Peter about 'the kitchens' and 'some girl'.

In his haste, he didn't notice Anna lurking at the foot of the girls' staircase. The poor girl had been ditched by both of her love struck friends and while she had other friends in her house frankly she couldn't get her mind off one Remus Lupin - the boy she loved that she had let slip through her fingers. Sure, she had had plenty of offers for dates on this day - the most romantic day of the year - but she had turned them all down in the hope that maybe her luck with Remus would change. They had been acting friendly after all, almost acting as if nothing had happened.

"Hey, Peter, where's Remus going?" she asked casually. The mousy boy looked up from his tattered romance novel hidden behind a quidditch magazine cover.

"Err, I think the kitchens," he said in surprise, "Something about some girl."

"Oh," Anna replied, "Thanks." Then she turned around and headed back up the stairs, barely surprised at the tears now stinging the corners of her eyes. She didn't know what to do. The old Anna, the fighting Anna, would've probably tried to sabotage any new relationship of Remus' leaving him with her as the only choice. But she genuinely wanted him to be happy. It was the realisation that perhaps he could be happy without her that hurt the most.

* * *

Remus was hesitant as he reached out to tickle the pear that would let him into the kitchens. What if this was all just some sick joke at his expense? Or, worse still, what if this girl knew about his furry little problem and planned to tell the whole school? _Why would she do that, though?_ Remus asked himself, _Apparently she likes you._ He shook his head again - now he was arguing with himself! He pulled himself together and made to enter the kitchens, a small flutter of nervousness and hope in his stomach giving him that extra bit of Gryffindor courage as he stepped over the threshold.

A quick scan of the room revealed one person to be sitting alone at the nearest table to the door. To Remus' shock and relief it was his Ancient Runes partner, Claire Samuels, who appeared to be the mysterious sender of the letter.

"Claire?" he asked in disbelief, taking in her carefully made-up appearance. Her dark skin contrasted nicely with the white shirt she was wearing, her deep blue eyes glinting mischievously at him. Her long black hair was braided in two loose plaits framing her face and giving her a slightly school-girlish look.

"Surprised?" she asked with a smile.

"You could say that," Remus returned the smile and sat down opposite her.

"Can I explain?" she asked, tilting her head slightly and looking a tiny bit awkward for the first time. Remus simply nodded his consent.

"Well, in a nutshell: I have had a bit of a crush on you since the start of the year but you were…unavailable, I guess. So I sort of gave up. Then I was alone in the library doing that Runes essay and I thought of you. And then I couldn't stop smiling. And I asked myself why I couldn't stop smiling and obviously the answer was because I still fancy you. So I thought to myself 'there's no time like the present' and I decided to tell you how I feel and/or felt because, frankly, what have I got to lose? And then, much to my delight, you turned up. And here we are," she finished, clasping her hands together in a business-like fashion.

"That was abrupt," Remus noted, eyebrows raised (although he couldn't help but be flattered - Claire was very pretty and intelligent - what guy wouldn't be interested?).

"Well, if we're being honest, I think my friend Issy slipped some veritaserum into my pumpkin juice at dinner. Fancies herself a bit of a cupid, I think," she grinned, and Remus couldn't help but grin back.

"So, you like me then?" he fished, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course I do - stop fishing for compliments!" Remus chuckled slightly as she continued, "No, really. I do like you and I hope I'm not putting any pressure on you or anything. I just thought it would be best if you knew the opportunity was here…"

Remus gulped suddenly. He was unused to having girls come on so strongly. Years as a Marauder meant that the girls had shown interest, but it was mostly directed at Sirius and James, not at him. The only other time Remus could remember a girl pursuing him was Anna, and look how that had turned out.

"Sorry, I was being a bit forward again, wasn't I?" she asked, eyes twinkling again and snapping Remus out of his thoughts.

"Listen, Claire, I don't want to disappoint you or anything, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for a relationship or anything just yet," Remus said apologetically, "It's just-"

"You don't want to get hurt. That's okay, I understand," she cut in truthfully, "If you change your mind though-"

"You're still available," Remus finished.

"See, we're already finishing one another's sentences," she joked, "That's a good sign. Oh, and I won't always be available - I'll have you know I'm rather popular with the boys," she smirked.

"I'll keep that in mind, Claire. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure. Save me a seat and, err, let's not mention this unless you change your mind about us, okay? I don't think post-veritaserum-me could cope."

"No worries," Remus smiled. He got to the door, before turning around suddenly and demanding, "What did you mean by secrecy?"

"Pardon?" Claire replied, a look of confusion on her face.

"In your note you said 'knowing that you're a fan of secrecy'. What did you mean by that?" he said, looking agitated. Claire flushed slightly, then stood and walked over to him before leaning in towards him to whisper in his ear.

"I know about your secret, Remus. But it doesn't change anything. And it's safe with me, I promise." Remus pulled back, gob smacked.

"What?"

"I know about your… problem, once a month. And it's okay. I didn't tell anyone. The only reason I know is because I like you so much that I notice when you're ill. And I'm a Ravenclaw - we're pretty smart, you know."

Remus just continued to look at her in awe. She knew his secret. She knew and she wasn't frightened or disgusted. She knew and she wouldn't tell anyone. In that moment, he didn't care that he was on the rebound and he didn't care that Claire's acceptance reminded him painfully of Anna's rejection. At that moment all Remus Lupin knew was that he was kissing Claire full on the lips and that she didn't seem to mind one bit.

Of course it was a massive shock for Lily, James, Sirius and Cat when, at the end of the Head's patrol and after the other pair had been busted snogging on the astronomy tower, they all returned to the kitchens for some hot chocolate to find perfect prefect Remus Lupin fully making out with some random girl that they didn't initially recognise. By this stage in the evening (in between apologies from Remus and assurances from Claire that they didn't necessarily have to become an item), the passionate pair had moved to sitting at the second bench from the door. Claire had her arms around Remus' neck, while he had one hand supporting her back and the other toying with one of her plaits. The two were quite… involved and didn't notice the four Gryffindors enter the room. That is until the master of subtlety, Sirius Orion Black, exclaimed "Holy Hippogriffs! Go Moony!"  
This earned him a slap on the arm from Cat for 'being insensitive and killing an obviously romantic moment'. Then, with the speed of a Comet 64 and the expression of a deer caught in headlights, the guilty two whipped around to face their audience.

"Claire?" Lily murmured – it was the girl from her Ancient Runes class – the girl who had been partners with Remus all year.

Remus' face went bright red and although she couldn't seem to stop smiling, Claire's eyes held traces of embarrassment.

"Hi guys," he managed to say in an impossibly small voice.

"Well, I was just going," Claire said, her cheeks flaming, but a happy smile on her face. "I'll see you in class, Remus. Bye," she added to the gawping Gryffindors as she hastened out of the room, leaving a stunned silence in her wake.

"Way to go, Moony," Sirius repeated, clapping his shell-shocked friend on the shoulder. "You've finally got a girl." Remus seemed to snap out of his inarticulate state at these words.

"I haven't 'got' her, Sirius," he replied snappily, "We aren't even a couple."

"By the looks of things, she might have a different idea," James chipped in with a suggestive wink that Lily elbowed him in the ribs for.

"Look, she's not my girlfriend. It was just a- a momentary lapse in judgement!" Remus cried, pushing past his friends and storming off down the corridor. Fair enough, really – he was one confused teen.

"What in Merlin's name was that all about?" Sirius asked obliviously.

"Something I said?" James added, sharing a confused look with Sirius.

"Honestly, you boys are incredible!" Cat moaned.

"Thanks, gorgeous!"

"Not in a good way, Black," Lily corrected.

"What did we do?" James sounded indignant. Lily sighed a very exasperated sigh, exchanged an exasperated glance with Cat and then began to speak in very exasperated tones to the clueless Marauders.

"Remus has just gotten out of his first proper relationship with a girl – Anna. Now, obviously, he isn't emotionally ready to deal with a new relationship but Claire clearly is. They've obviously been discussing the potential for a relationship – given that it is Valentine's Day – and this will naturally make Remus wary. After all, he was seriously hurt at the end of his relationship with Anna."

"This means that he'll be reluctant to start a new relationship, because he's afraid of getting hurt," Cat supplied, "And so you two nitwits go and put your foot in it by pestering him about her. It's no wonder he's upset."

"Well, how were we supposed to know that?" Sirius demanded, "We're guys – we don't do the touchy-feely thing."

"What was tonight about, then?" Cat challenged.

"And besides," Lily added, "He's your best friend. Don't you ever talk about it?"

"Like Padfoot said, touchy-feely is not really what we're about. We're more in the pranks and joking business." Lily just rolled her eyes; she knew there was no use in trying to talk James around to see the benefits of discussing emotions. In any case, she rather liked James the way he was at the moment – there was no great need to change him.

"We girls do, on the other hand, do the touchy-feely thing," Cat said, "And Anna's going to be devastated by this," she said to Lily.

"You're right, we should go," the redhead agreed.

"Hold on, why would Anna Banana be upset?" Sirius inquired.

"Even I get this one, Pads," James said, placing a consoling hand on Sirius' shoulder. "She still likes him."

"Try still loves him," Lily muttered shaking her head.

"We've got to go," Cat said, "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, goodnight gorgeous," Sirius said, leaning in for a farewell kiss.

"Yuck, don't do that face-sucking in front of us," James said in disgust.

"Face sucking?!" was the indignant reply.

"Let's face it, you two, your technique is seriously lacking," Lily agreed, taking James hand and pulling him into the corridor, "See you in a minute, Cat."

"You know something?" James asked.

"We are much better kissers than they are?"

"Well, yes, but... I love you."

"I love you too, James," she replied, leaning in for a thorough kiss.

"Promise me we won't end up like Remus and Anna?" he said in a whisper as they pulled apart, centimetres away from one another.

"Why would we?" Lily asked, green eyes confusedly meeting hazel ones.

"Just promise."

"I promise."

* * *

AN - Strange ending but I need sleep... or to do my history homework, either way i'll end up asleep lol  
Also - this chapter was dedicated to Izzy who I was supposed to dedicate my last chapter to because it was her birthday but I forgot - sorry!  
Let me know what you thought of the chapter in a REVIEW! If you have time, I would really appreciate the feedback :)

In the next chapter: Probably Sirius and Cat's quickly approaching wedding, Anna/Remus tension and potential for Remus/Claire - let me know what you thought of her character. I was going for intelligent, good looking, a bit forward (mostly due to veratiserum) and very polite. What did you think of her?

Thanks for sticking with this story! I really, truly appreciate all your reviews and suggestions and I really hope that you haven't all forgotten about this fic!  
Happy fanficcing :)


	41. Competitive Commitment

**Disclaimer**: You know I don't own Harry, must I continually be reminded of this painful fact everytime i write a disclaimer? no, I think not.

AN - Woohoo! I have finished all my VCE SACS forever! (except for dance, but it's not a real subject lol jk) so now I can update my story. Also the holidays are coming up so hopefully that means more frequent updates - i think the end of this story is drawing very near... mostly coz i want to write a sequel - let me know waht you think.  
This chapter jumps around a lot because it covers a lot of time, so please bear with it - it does get to the point eventually.  
The rating of this particular chapter is probs more mature because of some stuff Lily says when drunk and some incidental swear words, most probably.

But I hope you enjoy and please REVIEW!

LAST TIME: Remus had just gotten togetherish with Claire, Anna is upset, the bizarre wedding of Cat and Sirius approaches, and Lily and James are as in love as ever.

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* * *

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**Chapter 40 - Alcohol-Induced Misadventures, Competitive Commitment and Blaming Veritaserum:**

Lily and Cat entered the dormitory to the sound of sobs coming from Anna's bed. The curtains were closed completely, indicating that Anna did not want any visitors, yet her two friends - after exchanging a serious look - decided to help her anyway. Lily drew back one of the hangings tentatively. Anna was sitting hunched up against the headboard, knees drawn to her chest, trying half-heartedly to stop hiccupping sadly.

Cat sat down next to her and pulled the tangled blonde curls from her friend's wet eyes and rubbed her soothingly on the back.

"I b-blew it, didn't I-I?" she sobbed, red-rimmed eyes fixed on a point on the wall. "He said we could be friends now, but I don't want to be friends!" she wailed.

"Hey, now, there's still hope," Lily tried, "It's not the end of the world." Anna just shot her a glare.

"He's seeing other girls already," she said angrily, "He just met up with one… on Valentine's Day!"

"Yeah, we know," Cat muttered absently. Lily rolled her eyes - now she'd done it.

"You know?" Anna said, eyes widening, "Well, who is she? How did you find out?"

"She's Claire, from our Runes class," Lily said, "And, well, we saw them in the kitchens."

"Were they-"

"They were together, yes," Cat said, "But, I mean, they were just snogging. It doesn't mean they're an item now or anything," she added hastily, as Anna began to cry again.

"But guys, Remus doesn't just kiss random girls. He only does it if he wants to!"

"Maybe it'll blow over. They'll realise they aren't right for each other and you'll have a chance," Cat amended.

"It's not going to happen," Anna cried, before dissolving into tears once more. Lily frowned. She had never seen her friend so defeated; Anna had always been the strong, reliable, fun-loving one, impervious to any setbacks that would occur. _Then again_, Lily thought wryly, _That's probably because she'd just give up when she got bored and move onto a new guy. This is what we call relationship karma - and it bites!_

"Anna, I hate to be the one to say this, but maybe it's time you moved on," Lily said softly. In spite of the glare Anna gave her, Lily continued. "It's just… you can't afford to torture yourself over this. What happened happened and you need to accept it. I'm not saying give up hope. But just…try to move on. Don't let this thing get you down because it will ruin you. Your vivacity, intelligence, positivity - these are the things we love you for. Don't let one failed relationship change you into someone you don't want to be."

"But Li-"

"She's right, though," Cat said, "The minute you change your personality because you've been hurt is the minute you stop being you. And we love you!" Anna seemed to consider this for a minute, before giving a watery smile and a little snuffle.

"Thanks, guys," she wiped the corner of her eye on her sleeve, "I don't know what I'd do without you two."

"Wallow in a pit of self-pity and despair?" Cat joked sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," Anna said before yawning a huge (albeit, fake) yawn. "I'm a bit tired, though. I'm going to go to bed now, okay?"

"Sure thing. Sweet dreams," Lily said, moving off the bed.

"Night, Anna," Cat said, following Lily's lead - they stood in the doorway together as Anna drew her curtains shut behind her.

"Will you be okay looking after her tonight?" Lily whispered.

"Yeah, I reckon so. When did she become so fragile, though? I've never seen her cry like that… except when her pet rabbit died in fourth year…" she trailed off, looking pensive.

Lily nodded in agreement, brow still furrowed, "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

The following day was not, by any means, a peaceful one.

James and Sirius had come down to breakfast early to plan their next prank on the Slytherins without Peter - who was still sleeping. They hadn't seen Remus when they'd gotten up and had assumed he was in the library studying or doing other similarly wasteful things with his time, as Sirius had put it. So it was a rather interesting - though not completely unexpected surprised - when the intellectual Marauder walked into the Great Hall hand in hand with his companion from the night before. He caught James' eye and gave and appropriate half shrug and meek smile, before following Claire to have breakfast at the Ravenclaw table.

"Well, that's new," James remarked, returning to his pumpkin juice.

"Good for Moony, I say," Sirius said through a mouthful of bacon and eggs. "It's about time he found someone so open minded… and sexy."

"Nah, I wouldn't say sexy," James said, eyeing the girl in question from a distance, "Preppy and cute, maybe. Plaits just don't do it for me."

"Really? I reckon they're hot. Naughty school girl and all that. Probably right up Moony's alley."

"No offence, but I don't want to think about Moony and his alley, Padfoot," James grimaced.

"Enough said then," Sirius paused, "Still reckon she's hot, though."

"Who's hot?"

Sirius whipped around to find his girlfriend/fiancée, hands on hips, glaring at him.

"You of course," he replied suavely, pulling her into his lap.

"Please, no snogging at the breakfast table," James said in disgust, "Some of us are trying to eat."

"You wouldn't mind if it was you and Lily-flower," Sirius pointed out.

"I should hope he wouldn't mind. He is my boyfriend! What sort of boyfriend doesn't want to snog his girlfriend?" Lily plonked down next to James - giving him a peck on the cheek and making him flush with happiness - with Anna sliding in next to her.

"The sort of boyfriend who is dating Jennifer Midgen, that's who," Sirius scoffed dryly.

"You really are awfully superficial, darling," Cat said disapprovingly.

"Well, it's lucky you're so good looking then, sweetheart."

"It's lucky you're so charming, honey, or I would have to hex your gorgeous face for that comment."

"It was a compliment, muffin. Besides, you wouldn't hex me in a million years."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, gorgeous. Just because you're a pretty boy-"

"Enough with the flirting already!" Anna cried, "It's enough to make a girl sick."

There was silence for a minute or so, before Sirius whispered, "I am _not_ a pretty boy. My hair is naturally this beautiful." This broke the tension nicely until Peter finally joined them.

"Morning girls, mates," he said squeakily, heaping pancakes onto his plate, "Where's Moony?"

Anna looked up sharply at this question, having assumed that Remus had been with Peter. In a desperate attempt to divert Anna's attention, Sirius promptly jumped up on the table. Without further ado he pointed his wand to his throat - _Sonorus_ - and began to announce his engagement to the entire breakfast club.

"…Students and professors of Hogwarts. For those of you who are as yet unaware, the lovely Sirius Black is off the market. You heard right folks. I'm committing myself to one lucky lady; the one, the only, Catherine Jones!" He led a round of applause, while Cat blushed and grinned, waving slightly in acknowledgement of the catcalls and cheers. Not wanting to be outdone, James decided it would be a good idea to announce that he and Lily loved each other. He made to stand up but was stilled by Lily who had placed a silent body-bind on him in anticipation of his pride. He glowered at her as she shot him an innocent pout. The rest of their group were almost in hysterics with laughter at this point, as was the student body. After all, it had been a while since any one of the Marauders had made a scene at breakfast.

Upon thinking this, Anna turned her head once more, remembering that she had been searching for their absent comrade - Remus. Unfortunately for her, her eyes found him in a passionate lip-lock with non-other than the pretty Ravenclaw, Claire. One of his hands was placed tentatively on her hip, the other once again tangled in a plait, while she had both hands on his shoulders as if holding him in place. This was like a slap in the face for Anna who knew it was out of character for Remus to be doing anything remotely physical in public. She hastened for the exit before either of her friends could make a move to stop her, brushing angrily at the lone tear that had leaked out.

The pair in question pulled apart sheepishly, oblivious to the racket going on around them. Claire blushed a little bit.

"Sorry. What I meant to say was of course you can stay here for breakfast. I didn't mean to… well, you know." She smiled lopsidedly. Remus just smiled back.

"That's okay," he reassured her, "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit. About us, I guess," he gestured slightly between them.

"Oh, right. Well, I wanted to say before that we don't have to be anything more than friends if it makes you uncomfortable." She raised an eyebrow suggestively at him, "But if that kiss was anything to go by I'm going to hazard a guess that you don't mind too much."

"I just don't want to take things too quickly. I, err… I don't want things to end up how they did with me and…"

"I understand," Claire smiled, "And I know you're not a big fan of public displays of affection… but I couldn't help it. I'll try to restrain myself in the future, it's just you're so good at that and you don't even know! Then again, I could always blame the veritaserum?"

"You don't have to. I like you, Claire, don't worry."

"That's great, but listen - I need to go see Baker about quidditch practice. I think he just left the hall," she pointed towards the doors where Remus saw, with a sudden jolt to the heart, Anna rushing out apparently in tears. "See you in Runes, yeah?"

"Hmm… huh? Sorry! Yes, see you in class," he smiled, trying to compose himself, for he was sure that Claire hadn't seen Anna crying. With another brief smile and a last minute grab for an apple, Claire left the hall. Remus stood slowly, before making his way over to the Gryffindor table (where the ruckus had finally died down and James was free of Lily's body bind). Remus slid in beside Lily who gave him a curious look.

"What?" he snapped after a few seconds.

"Nothing," she replied, shrugging her shoulders, "Just noticed you weren't here earlier, that's all."

"I was at the Ravenclaw table," he said, trying to be discrete - not an easy task when Sirius 'big-mouth' Black is around.

"Yeah, we saw you snogging that girl who you apparently aren't dating," he commented dryly. Cat just sighed in exasperation, putting her head in her hands.

Instead of exploding like he had the night before, the werewolf just sighed tiredly.

"What do you want to know? Are we dating now? Yes, we are. Do I like her? Yes, she's a lovely girl. Does this have anything to do with Anna? No, it doesn't." He eyed them all directly - challenging them to contradict him.

"Well, good for you mate," Peter said with a genuine smile, "It's good to know you've still got your mojo."

Good old Peter - always there for a laugh, whether it be with him or at him. James and Sirius snorted into their breakfasts, while Cat just rolled her eyes and Lily pasted a smile onto her face.

"Yes, it's good that you've found someone, Remus," she said, although she was still thinking about the hurt this was causing one of her recently re-instated best friends.

"Thank you, Lily. Now I think I'm going to go to class. I still have to study for that thing." And on that delightfully vague note, he left the Great Hall.

"It's a good thing he's found someone, I suppose," James said pensively, "He, of all people, doesn't deserve to be alone."

"Yeah, but Anna was there for him," Lily asserted.

"She broke his heart, though, Lils. You can't expect him to just go back to her because she apologises and cries a bit."

"Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"

"Well, yeah. But if he's happy with Claire then that's great for him."

"I suppose," Lily sighed, "I just wish Anna could move on."

"Yeah," Cat agreed, "I reckon it was easier for all concerned when she slept around."

"Cat!" Lily cried, "That's an awful thing to say!"

"But it's sort of true," Cat defended, "I mean, she never used to get hurt like this. She used to just bounce back and find someone new. It sucks now that she's found all this emotional stuff."

"You do make a good point," Sirius chipped in, "I mean, when you care it's so much easier to get hurt."

"But so worth it," James said quietly. Lily nodded in agreement, slipping her hand into his under the table. She only hoped that they would never hurt one another - she loved him too much for that.

"Let's just agree to disagree," Peter said, taking Remus' role as mediator. "It's great that Remus has found someone. It's a pity that Anna's sad. And it would be best for all if she found someone new. But there's nothing we can do about it."

"Actually, Pete, there probably is something we can do about it," Sirius said with a wolfish grin on his face.

"No, Sirius, we are _not_ setting Anna up with some random boy - it's completely unethical!" Lily said hotly. "Besides, she needs to work this one out on her own."

"And, correct me if I'm wrong," Cat added, "But I was under the impression that you had a rather important wedding to organise? No time to play matchmaker - we need to find a venue."

"Fine, I'll get right on it," Sirius sighed. "By the way, do you want to invite your cousin Hestia? She's a fourth year, I guess she can come to Hogsmeade."

"Thanks to you she'll probably tell my whole family about the wedding now that the entire school knows about it," Cat grumbled, "But no. Closest friends will do."

"All this commitment talk is making me feel ill," Peter said. "I'd hate to sign up for something then regret it later when I can't get out of it."

"Ah, Pete. You'll feel differently when you find the right girl," James said with a grin, squeezing Lily's hand under the table. She smiled to herself.

"Come on, guys. Let's go to class."

* * *

The remaining days of the week and of the month seemed to fly by. Remus had started properly dating Claire, often eating meals with her instead of the Marauders (which irked Sirius no end). Anna had continued to be depressed about the situation, but she was getting better at hiding it and even had a date with a sixth year Hufflepuff set up for the afternoon of the next Hogsmeade trip.

Before any of the Gryffindors had time to realise it, it was the eve of the first weekend of March and the big day for Cat and Sirius.

Despite having convinced the girls that they were having a raging bachelor party for Sirius, the Marauders were spending a quiet night in with a few quidditch magazines and a bottle or five of Firewhiskey. James had been chosen as the designated driver for the night and had nothing to drink, giving him the ability to recall with startling clarity the events of the night before. And which, for future generations' sake, he recorded in his diary, lest he ever find himself needing to explain to his future children why lying was a very bad thing.

**James' Occlumency Journal - Sirius' Bachelor Party:**

I can't believe my best mate is getting married tomorrow! My best mate who is currently wearing little more than his favourite motorcycle boxers and school tie, drunkenly singing the school song with a bottle of Firewhiskey in one hand and his wedding rings in the other. In my opinion he's an absolute nutter getting married at this age. Well, pretending to get married. I don't see why he can't just tell Cat the truth about not actually wanting to get married. I suppose he's just scared the truth will ruin them as it did Anna and Remus. At least this whole stupid charade will be done with tomorrow. One of them is bound to crack before they actually tie the knot - it's inevitable.

Oh dear. He's just started shooting sparks out of his wand by accident - I really should try sobering him up or I doubt I'll get much sleep tonight. Oh dear Merlin, now he's crying. Crying like a baby! And look, there goes Remus to help him, but - ouch! Remus is down - tripped over his own feet. Looks like he's unconscious now. Serves him right! I don't know what happened to responsible Moony. Don't see why he needs a drink right now - he and Claire are going really well. They sit together all the time now. Claire even has dinner with us sometimes (when Anna's not around). She's a nice girl - bit quiet sometimes, but she gets on well with Lily - they have some classes together, after all.

Oh! And there goes Wormy. He's probably crushing Moony - I wonder if I should move him…

Nah, Sirius has just jumped on top - it appears to be a game of stacks on.

Idiots! Let them crush one another in their alcohol-induced, not to mention self-inflicted, stupor. I'm just going to watch. It's not like I've got anything better to do. My fake best man speech is already written.

It goes along the lines of 'Sirius is my brother, but I will not hesitate to turn him out into the cold if he so much as looks at my Lily. So it's a good thing he's getting married to someone else.'

What do you think? Bit mean? Why am I asking you - you're a diary - no! JOURNAL! Journal's don't have opinions.

…

Oh, shut up Potter!

…

I wonder what Lily's doing now…

…

What the bloody hell was that? I'm going to investigate. What's the worst that can happen here? They're all passed out on top of one another - it's like a drunken gay orgy. (Shudders) I wish I didn't have that image in my mind right now… GOING TO INVESTIGATE!

* * *

The Gryffindor girls' dormitory was not much better. Cat was just as smashed as Sirius - if not worse - and Lily had felt it her duty as fake maid of honour to join the bride-to-be in her game of shots. Anna - who seemed to be returning to normal, but was a bit quieter than she used to be - was only a little tipsy, but had made the executive decision to be the responsible one out of the group. After all, someone has to take the lead when the Hogwarts Head Girl has imbibed too much alcohol. Honestly, that Potter boy was a bad influence!

"We're going to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-a-arried!" Cat slurred, spinning around in the middle of the room. Lily sat on the edge of the bed, laughing herself silly.

"You're not getting married, Jones-y-pie!" she cried, nearly toppling off the bed.

"Oh yes, I'm NOT!" Cat replied loudly.

Anna just shook her head. "Honestly, guys, keep it down! Half of Gryffindor can hear you."

"Don't be such a party pooper Anna-banana!" Cat replied. "We need to celebrate my wedding to Mr pigheaded stubborn son of a hippogriff, Sirius 'ladies man' Black!"

"He's just as stubborn as you are," Lily agreed, nodding violently, red hair flying every which where. "That's why neither one of you gits has given in."

"I do love him, though," Cat said, plonking down on the floor.

"Mmm, me too. He's got all that hair," Lily sighed, flopping down next to her.

"Back off, carrot-top! He's MINE!" Cat cried, lunging for her friend.

"Nu-uh!" Lily replied childishly, letting Cat lie on top of her - she was so light it didn't matter.

"Yeah-huh!" Cat replied.

"Nu-uh, that boy with all that hair and those eyes belongs to ME!"

"I think you're talking about James, Lils," Anna said, rolling her eyes.

"Well of course I am," Lily rolled her eyes, "That's what I said!"

"You two are absolutely hammered - I think it's time for bed," Anna declared, wrestling Cat into a standing position.

"Annie, my dear, there appears to be two of you," Cat giggled before collapsing unconscious into her friend's arms. Lily decided that this would be as good a time as any to sneak down to the common room for no apparent reason and so she slunk past Anna and stumbled down the stairs to the sounds of "Lils, come back. I'm too busy with Cat to come get you!" and later on the grumblings of "Fine, wake up in the common room with a hangover, see if I care."

Now that she had the common room to herself, Lily decided it would be fun to navigate an obstacle course around the room using furniture as the only place you could walk. She screeched loudly as she accidentally trod on someone's cat, which went tearing off up the staircase.

"Shush, Lily, you'll wake up the whole house!" she whispered to herself. Wobbling unsteadily, she made her way over two couches, a chintz armchair and a sturdy looking study table. Sturdy looking because as she made her way to the edge it gave an uneasy wobble.

"Oh no!" Lily cried, realising that she had put too much of her weight on one end. She seemed to be flying and falling in slow motion. That said, it was a fairly short distance to the ground, so it wasn't a massive hazard - but it was still a shock. What was more of a shock for the oblivious Lily (though perhaps not for anyone who knew about the event) was the fact that she never hit the ground but was rather scooped up into the strong, capable arms of none other than James Potter.

"Lily! What were you doing?" he exclaimed, setting the girl down on a comfy couch. She turned her large emerald eyes up to him, an expression of adorable innocence on her face, "Nothing." James wrinkled his nose a bit at the strong whiff of alcohol coming from his ever rule-abiding head girl.

"Lils, have you been drinking?" he asked softly, trying to hide his amusement just in case the fiery tempered girl remembered the following morning.

"Mayy-be," she said childishly, cocking her head to one side, "Are you going to tell on me, James?"

James chuckled, "No, of course not."

"Are you going to punish me?"

There was something about the way she said punish that made James extremely uneasy. "Huh?"

"I think I've been a bit naughty," Lily said, leaning towards her boyfriend and whispering in his ear, "And I think I need to be punished." James could not believe his ears. His conservative (although not in a boring, button down way) girlfriend was plastered and, if he was not very much mistaken, inviting him to do some very… un-conservative things to her.

"Lils, I- err, um, think you should go b-back to bed," he managed to stammer, trying to take one of her small hands in his.

"I don't want to!" she replied petulantly, folding both her arms over her chest (which was not very well hidden - James noticed - by the nearly non-existent tank top Lily deemed fit to be pyjamas).

"Now, Lily, don't make me beg," James said sternly, as if he was talking to a misbehaving toddler. Although it had to be noted that Lily had much nicer, much longer, legs than any toddler James had ever seen. Legs which were nicely shown off by the micro shorts that Lily had matched with her tiny tank top. Honestly, the things girls wore to bed!

"I don't want you to beg," Lily grinned cheekily, "I want you to chase me!" and with that she took off towards the portrait hole. Seeing where this was going, and thinking it was probably best to stop it, James bounded after her, catching her around the middle and making her squeal with delight. He foisted her easily over his shoulder in a fireman's lift so that she was hanging over his back, with her legs on his chest and her bottom practically in his face. All in all, a view James didn't mind too much.

"Potter! Put me down!" she cried happily, beating her fists on his back.

"I don't think so, Evans. I'm taking you to bed," he declared, before realising the implications. "To your bed!" he amended quickly.

"Good luck getting up those stairs then," Lily said - remarkably lucid for a drunk. James could almost feel her smirking against his back. _Damn that clever minx!_ he thought, _I will just have to take her back to my room instead… what a pity…_

"Fine, you win," he conceded, trying not to grin as he walked (practically skipped, actually) back up to the Marauder's dormitory. Once through the door he grabbed the unsteady Lily by the hips and set her down before him. She looked around the room distastefully, "Do you think it would kill you boys to clean once in a while?"

"Even drunk she's a neat freak," James muttered to himself with a roll of the eyes.

"Oi, I'm not a neat freak!" Lily cried. Then she spotted the pile of boys in the middle of the room, "And, really, that is just unhygienic!"

"Bed time!" James announced, steering her over to his bed and tucking her in. "Now go to sleep or you'll be terrible at the wedding tomorrow."

"Are we getting married?" Lily asked confused, "It really would've been nice if you had given me some notice, James. I mean, you can't just expect me to look beautiful by tomorrow - these things take planning… and a good dress. Oh dear lord, I don't have a dress!" she cried, sitting bolt upright in the bed. James placed his large hands on her shoulders, forcing her to lie back down.

"Relax, Lils - it's Cat and Sirius' big day tomorrow, not ours."

"Oh," she replied, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "When's ours, then?"

"Err, we're not getting married Lily," James said, "Not yet."

"That's a pity," Lily mumbled, her eyes drooping in fatigue, "Your bed smells nice." Then she drifted off into a solid sleep. James smiled, brushing a strand of hair off her forehead and letting it linger for a moment.

"Not yet," he repeated, before curling up on Remus' bed (Sirius' had a strange doggy odour to it) and falling fast asleep.

* * *

The next morning passed in a flurry of frantic preparations, hurried breakfasts and queasy hang-overs, beginning to the sounds of 'Ahh, Potter, what am I doing in your bed?!'

Five hours and several swearwords later, they were in Hogsmeade, standing in the small, previously ignored chapel a fair way down one of the little laneways off the High Street. Cat, Lily and Anna were in the small ante-chamber to the left of the alter and the boys in one to the right - there was to be no procession down the aisle as Cat's family weren't attending (at such short notice, she said) and really it wasn't a very formal wedding in any case.

"You look gorgeous!" Anna clapped her hands together, admiring her handiwork. Cat was decked out in a full floor length satin gown, with full skirt and beaded bodice, which was laced so tightly it was any wonder she could breathe at all. It was strapless and hugged Cat's toned and tanned figure nicely, showing off her curves. Her dark hair was in an elaborate up-do with loosely curled tendrils framing her face, held in place by a shimmering silver tiara (goblin made, according to Anna). They had opted to miss the veil thing - there really was no point considering there was no walk up the aisle. When this was brought up, Lily casually mentioned that if they were going to be traditional about it, Cat really shouldn't have been wearing white.

"I can't breathe," Cat said quietly.

"It's okay to be nervous on your wedding day," Anna cooed reassuringly, "After all, you are committing to spend the rest of your life with one man."

"Firstly, Black is a _boy_ not a man. Secondly, this isn't even a real wedding - one of them is going to chicken out any minute now," Lily replied.

"Not when he sees her in that dress," Anna grinned, "He won't be able to resist."

"Still can't breathe," Cat persisted.

"It's okay to be nervous," Anna repeated.

"Err, no. I actually think she can't breathe - could be the corset?" Remus' pale face appeared from around the door.

"Remus Lupin! Get out of this room this instant!" Anna cried, forgetting that her friend was suffering oxygen deprivation. "You can't see the bride before the wedding!"

"But I'm not the groom," he protested, pushing his way into the room, "And I really do think she's having trouble breathing."

"Oh, she'll be fine," Lily moaned - all the yelling was making her head pound harder - "Just get out Remus!"

Then there was a dull thump as Cat hit the floor.

"Oh crap," Lily moaned, dropping to the floor to revive the semi-conscious bride.

Remus rushed over, "Here, let me help." He pointed his wand at the offending article of clothing "_Relashio_," cutting the ties at the back of the corset, then muttered  
"_Rennervate_," causing Cat to gulp in a big breath of air, the colour slowly returning to her cheeks. Anna, who had been trying to control herself in Remus' presence, at least had the clarity of mind to admonish him for ripping parts of Cat's dress to bits.

"Look what you've done! That'll take ages to fix."

"Well, you'd better hurry. I came in here to tell you that everything's ready out there," he jerked his head in the direction of the altar.

"Is Black really ready for this?" Lily asked shrewdly, raising an eyebrow at the clever Marauder.

"Ready as Cat is, I'm sure," he quipped with a cheeky smile and in that moment Lily knew that Sirius and Cat would both try and push each other to the edge - Sirius was in on the game too!

"Right. Well, we'll be there in a minute," she said, closing the door after him and turning to face Cat who was by this stage propped up against a pillar, breathing heavily and shooting murderous glares at her bridesmaids.

"Fat lot of good you two are!" she exclaimed, "How many times does a girl have to tell you she can't breathe before she can get some assistance?"

"Sorry, we thought you were just nervous," Anna apologised, fiddling with the pale blue material of her bridesmaid's outfit (knee-length, one-shouldered dresses made of fine, gauzy material).

"Oh, yes. I suppose pretending to want to get married to your boyfriend would make you pass out," Cat retorted sarcastically.

"Well, you are scared, aren't you?" Lily asked, "You know - scared that he won't back down?"

"He will; I'm sure of it."

Her worried eyes suggested otherwise.

"Right, well, best get on with the show then," Anna proclaimed. "These are for you." She handed Cat a small velvet box which opened to reveal a stunning set of sapphire studs in a square cut.

"They match the blue highlights in the tiara," Anna said, "So now you've got the old and borrowed - the tiara, and the new and blue - the earrings."

"Thank you so much," Cat breathed, fixing them onto her ears straight away. "But you really shouldn't have. I mean, I'm probably not even going to get married anyway."

"Probably?" Lily questioned, eyebrow arched sceptically.

"I mean, we're not," Cat corrected, blushing a bit. There was a silence during which Anna and Lily shared one of those significant glances, before Cat cleared her throat. "Okay… so… let's go." And with that the two bridesmaids preceded their friend out of the chamber and led her to stand before the altar, where the Marauders were already waiting (three grinning and one looking immeasurably ill and anxious).

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two young people," said the crotchety old wizard conducting the ceremony. "We will now, at the request of the best man, speed straight through to the vows." Sirius shot James a positively murderous look. "And so, if the groom has his speech ready, we'll start with that."

"Err, right… well," Sirius cleared his throat unnecessarily, wasting as much time as possible. "Cat… you're fantastic - that's pretty much all anyone ever needs to know. You're excellent at quidditch; you are beautiful, sexy, smart. But you know I think you're great. I guess what I'm trying to say is - that for all these reasons - I'm-" he gulped heavily, "ready to spend the rest of my life with you," he said hurriedly. Cat gulped in an identical manner to Sirius (which all of their friends noticed). She was beginning to wonder if Sirius really did want to get married.

"Your turn, young lady," the wizard announced.

"Okay… well, I guess. Sirius I love you and everyone here today knows how much. You really are something special and I look forward to our life together," she mumbled avoiding his eyes. Behind her back Lily and Anna were just rolling their eyes, which made James chuckle, Remus shake his head and Peter look on in confusion.

"Do you, Sirius Orion Black, take this young woman, Catherine Euphemia Jones to be your lawfully wedded wife? Before these witnesses do you vow to love her and care for her as long as you both shall live? Do you take her, with all her faults and strengths, as you offer yourself with all your faults and strengths? Do you swear to turn to her when in need of help and choose her as the person with whom you will spend all your life, til death do you part?"

There was a short pause, during which the eyes of the anguished lovers met and the pastor cleared his throat a little. "This is the 'I do' bit, son."

Then, as if this was all the prompting they needed, Sirius and Cat spoke very hurriedly at the same time.

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!"

Then there was that stunned, awkward silence that often followed such announcements at weddings.

"Err, sorry, but I'm sure I misheard," said the pastor/wizard, "But did you both just deny wanting this wedding?"

"Pretty sure they did, mate," James said, "But don't take it too hard. I'm sure it's not a reflection on poor workmanship by the pastor, it's just their stubborn pigheadedness preventing them from calling off the wedding sooner."

"They were trying to see who would go the furthest in the charade," Lily explained, "Who knew they'd get this far down the aisle?"

"We do apologise for wasting your time and we won't be asking for a refund. In fact, we will make a considerable donation to the chapel's funds to reassure you of our gratitude," Remus added diplomatically.

"And now, if you'll excuse us, we do believe the ex-bride and groom have some issues to work through, so we're just going to leave them to it, if that's alright?" Anna tacked on the end, already leading the way out of the church, the wedding party in her wake.

"Ha! I knew you didn't really want to marry me!" Sirius said triumphantly. "I so called your bluff."

"My bluff? Black, you were the one to back down first."

"Was not!"

"Were too. And by the way, just _why_ don't you want to marry me?" Cat pouted, trying for a hurt look.

"Probably the same reason you didn't want to marry me," Sirius replied raising an eyebrow coolly.

"Touché," Cat grinned, "So where do we go from here?"

"Well, Three Broomsticks is looking good?"

"You know what I mean, Sirius - what happens to us?" Cat fixed him with a serious look and he was reminded of why he had proposed in the first place.

"This is why I didn't want to break off our engagement," he said quietly, eyes downcast. "'Cause I still love you, Cat, I do. But I'm just not ready to… to grow up just yet, I guess."

Cat nodded, showing her understanding.

"I feel the same, I suppose," she said shyly, "I still think you're incredibly sexy," her mouth twitched upwards in a smile, "and talented," Sirius moved closer towards her, "and funny," he placed his hands on her waist, "and clever," he tilted her chin upwards and their eyes met. "And I love you to bits," she whispered, before his lips moved in over hers, claiming her in a passionate kiss.

"Love you, too, sugar-pie," he said with a cheeky grin.

"Good to know, darling," she replied, their faces inches apart. "But while we're boyfriend and girlfriend once more can we please drop the crappy pet names?"

"Sure thing," Sirius said with a smile, wrapping his arm around her waist and steering her to the exit, "…ragamuffin."

* * *

AN - This chapter is dedicated to all you wonderful reviewers who make my day everytime i open my email :) but particularly to ellie who left the 600th review!! and to my wonderful sister georgia who is suffering on year 9 camp at the moment - miss you!!  
thanks guys - stay tuned for more but til then - Happy Fanficcing :)

ps - I hope the character of Claire is okay coz she's in it for the long haul. she may seem a bit easy and/or forward, but i swear it's just the veritaserum. besides, i think Remus deserves someone who a) isn't a shyish bookworm and b) perhaps isn't one of lily's friends... but it's up to you guys who remus ends up with in the end (although we all know tonks is the best anyway!)


	42. Catfights and Caradoc

**Disclaimer**: Nope, still got nothing!

AN - Sorry it's been so long! I'm incredibly busy (which is why this chapter had to be cut a bit short) and I really have to get back to studying and practising (I've my VCE Dance Performance Exam on Monday AHHHHHHH) so without further ado...

AN2 - I'm in love with Edward Cullen!

* * *

**Chapter 41 - Catfights and Caradoc:**

By mid-March, it was pretty much common knowledge to the whole of Hogwarts that Remus had found a new (albeit unexpected) girlfriend and had taken to performing public displays of affection wherever and whenever possible. Most of the Hogwarts population thought this was a change for the better.

"Ohhh, good for him. He's _finally_ got a girlfriend."

"I never understood why he was single for so long - he's so fit!"

"And smart too - who wouldn't want that?"

"Do you reckon he has commitment issues?"

"Not anymore. Did you see him at breakfast?"

"Or in Runes yesterday - it was so cute!"

Sirius found it rather strange and was also rather put out that for once he wasn't the centre of the gossip mill's attention. He had tried to regain the crowd's attention once more by proposing to Cat at breakfast but was unfortunately rebuffed. While he had succeeded in grabbing the school's attention for a brief moment, it was forgotten news by lunchtime when rumours began about Remus meeting Claire's family during the next Hogsmeade visit. Of course, this was complete nonsense - Remus and Claire had only been officially dating for a few weeks and neither had any intention of 'meeting the parents'. However, it could not be denied that theirs was becoming an evidently serious relationship.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Anna was still hung-up on the young werewolf. This much was evident to Cat and Lily who had noticed Anna's continued mood swings around Remus and her bizarre inability to focus on anything while his current girlfriend Claire was in the same room. And no one could miss the snide comments that Anna often made under her breath towards the other witch. To her credit, Claire took it all in her stride, resolutely ignoring Anna and not even mentioning her problems to Remus who would undoubtedly have confronted Anna.

What later became known as 'the incident' took place a week or so before James' seventeenth birthday. In every class that Anna and Claire had together, people seemed to notice the strained tension in the room. Add Remus to the equation and it was ten times as awkward.

It was a Thursday, after a particularly tense Charms lesson, when Anna could no longer contain her animosity towards Claire. The blonde followed the other girl into the bathrooms on the second floor, casually pretending that she was going in there to touch up her make-up. She stood looking into the mirror, waiting for Claire to re-emerge from the cubicle, thinking over her battle plan. Claire came up to the mirror after about a minute or so and after quickly glancing at Anna, began to apply her favourite strawberry lip gloss.

"He doesn't even like strawberries," Anna muttered, as she combed her hair with her fingers, deliberately not looking at Claire.

"I'm sorry?" she replied.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing," Anna said airily, "Just Remus doesn't like strawberries, is all. I would've thought his _girlfriend_ would know that."

"You've got to be kidding me," Claire muttered to herself, continuing to apply her lip gloss and doing her best to ignore the girl who was now openly greasing her off.

"I mean, if he's your boyfriend, surely you would know that he doesn't like strawberries, wouldn't you? Or maybe you're just not as close as everyone thinks." And yet Claire ignored her still. "Though I guess he probably told me more than he told you. We were very, _very_ close, he and I."

"Yes, _were_ being the key word in that sentence, Anna," Claire snapped, whipping around to look at her, "But he's not with you anymore, he's with me. And I'd appreciate it if you could just accept it and stop being so petty. Move on."

"I'm just trying to save you the trouble," Anna said, her tone belying her level of irritation, "Because Remus has a hard time committing to people."

"Just 'cause he couldn't commit to you-"

"Are you joking? We were closer than you two will ever be!"

"Admit it, Anna - you're just jealous because he's happy with me and he wasn't with you."

"Just because we had our problems doesn't mean-"

"Problems? Don't make me laugh! You rejected him for what he was and then you were upset that he wouldn't take you back." This effectively silenced Anna. "He told me, Anna, about how things happened between the two of you. About how you took the news of his condition. Yes, I know about it and unlike you, I didn't judge him for it!"

At this point tears started to well up in Anna's eyes. Claire merely scoffed at her - after all, Anna had been treating her terribly since Valentine's Day and she was well and truly fed up. "Crying because you can't think of anything else to say? So you can dish it out but you can't take it, is that it?"

"How dare you!" Anna cried, pulling out her wand and pointing it at Claire, "You can't possibly understand what Remus and I had. I loved him!"

"Newsflash - you're not the only one! And guess what, Blondie? You blew it! So suck it up and deal with it, because he's with me now and no-one - not even some regretful little ex - is going to come between us, got it?"

"_Levicorpus!_" Anna cried, and Claire was jerked forcibly into the air. Dangling upside-down, the talented Ravenclaw didn't waste a second before hitting her opponent with the jelly-legs jinx, resulting in her tumbling none-too-gently to the ground before springing up and preparing herself for another jinx.

"_Tarantellegra!_" Anna yelled again. Claire began dancing uncontrollably, yet still managed a bat-bogey hex, which Anna dodged quickly. The curses flew thick and fast, some verbal and some not, but all backed up with the fury of a teenage witch.

This culminated in one of them - neither were sure who - sending a curse that refracted and rebounded off the mirrors, successfully hitting them both in different places and causing them physical harm. Claire had a big cut across her forehead while Anna had a slightly more shallow cut across her forearm. It was when their blood started to mix with the water on the floor (from an exploded toilet no less) that Moaning Myrtle began to scream the house down ('Murder! Murder in the bathrooms!') and none other than Head Girl Lily and Head Boy James - who were passing on their way to lunch - burst in. Well, Lily burst in - James refused to go into the bathroom with 'that creepy girl ghost' - and was shocked at the sight she saw. Claire and Anna on opposite sides of the room, breathing heavily, wands trained on one another. Lily's entrance seemed to have broken the spell, however, for both of them hastily dropped their wands and turned to look at her, vaguely concerned about the damage and destruction they had caused.

"What in the hell happened here!?" Lily demanded, eyes flashing.

"We, err-" Anna began.

"I don't want to hear it," Lily cut her off, guessing that the incident had something to do with her best friend's unrequited feelings for Remus and her obvious jealousy of Claire, "Get to the hospital wing now, both of you. And twenty points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. You're lucky it's not a detention, now get out," she ordered. Claire, who was closer to the door, left first, hurrying past James who watched her go with a confused expression on his face. Anna lingered a little longer, and was about to try to explain things to Lily, when the Head Girl stonily said, "we'll talk about this later. Go." And with tears in her eyes, Anna miserably followed after Claire.

* * *

"Yeah, but why would she just randomly attack Claire? I'm sure there's a story behind it that we just haven't heard," Cat said later that day in Runes, eying off Remus and Claire.

"You're probably right," Lily sighed, turning the page of their shared textbook, "But I've just never seen Anna look so angry before. And you should've seen the bathroom! It looked like a bomb had hit. And I didn't even turn them in to a teacher. Anna better bloody appreciate this. If I get my badge taken away-"

"Stress less, Lils. No one goes in there anyway 'cause of Myrtle. Mind you, I don't blame them. That girl has some serious issues." This got a small chuckle out of Lily.

"I guess you're right. And I'm sure they'll work it all out. Just hopefully when they do, they'll be able to restrain themselves and not damage any more school property," Lily replied dryly.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Divination, Anna was staring sullenly into her crystal ball while her partner for the term - Caradoc Dearborn - surveyed her carefully. Feeling his gaze on her Anna snapped at him, "what?"

"What's eating you today, Brown?" he asked jokingly, but she could hear the concern in his deep voice. She sighed deeply.

"I'm just being an idiot," she said, shaking her head slightly so that her blonde tresses bounced this way and that.

"Why?" he asked again. He thought for a moment, "Is it about Lupin?"

Anna's angry blue eyes snapped up to meet his suddenly.

"I'll take that as a yes then," Caradoc said sardonically, "And I'm guessing you're none too pleased about his new girlfriend?"

"Claire bloody Samuels and her bloody perfect plaits. And then she accuses me of being jealous - who the bloody hell does she think she is?

"It seems to me - and don't hurt me for saying this," he hastened to add, "But you _do _seem just a tiny bit jealous," Caradoc ventured.

"Well, that's probably 'cause I am," she replied dejectedly. "I screwed up and now the guy I loved is with someone else." Now it was Caradoc's turn to sigh. He also scrubbed a hand across his forehead in slight irritation.

"You know you could pretty much have any guy in this school if you wanted to, right?"

"Being an ex of mine, you can't really say that, you know?" Anna smiled slightly, "It feels like you're pimping me off." He chuckled.

"Well, as an ex, let me just say that if he can't see that you still want to be with him, then he isn't worth the time or worry."

"But that's just it," Anna protested, "He _is _worth it! If only I could somehow get him to realise that Claire is all wrong for him…" she trailed off, looking thoughtful.

"You could try making him jealous?" Caradoc suggested, regretting the words as soon as they had left his mouth.

"That's brilliant!" Anna praised, "Only thing is, I'd have to make it believable. Not just a fling, but a long-term thing. Otherwise he won't be convinced."

"I'm sensing the need for a volunteer."

"Is that an offer?"

"Well, you need someone you're comfortable around," he reasoned wisely. "And Samuels always gets better marks than me in defence - I'd like to take her down a peg or two." Anna laughed. "And, hey, if I get to spend more time with you, all the better for me," he smiled kindly and Anna felt a funny little flutter somewhere in her chest.

"You're too good to me," she said with a grin.

"What can I say? I have an uncontrollable urge to please people," he grinned, his false modesty making them both laugh.

"Why did we break up in the first place?" Anna wondered aloud.

"I think it was 'cause Gryffindor beat us in the house cup and you know what quidditch means to me," he grinned.

"Merlin, you're as bad as Potter," Anna smiled, "And you're quidditch captain too. It's like you're the same person but with the house difference."

"Oi! You can't go around saying things like that!" he retaliated, "I'll get a complex!"

They laughed once more, before their divination teacher swooped down on them demanding to see the progress of their dream diaries. Smiling in shared acknowledgement of their teacher's batty ways, the two proceeded to do their work in relative comfort, Anna feeling suddenly much better than she had in weeks.

**

* * *

**

James' Occlumency Diary:

Well, the last time I wrote in here… wasn't actually that long ago. It was Padfoot's 'bachelor party' if I recall correctly. Ah, yes. A night of drunken revelry in the Marauder's dorms - I seem to remember the phrase 'drunken gay orgy'. I sure hope that future generations don't read this diary and wince - we're not as queer as I'm making us sound, I swear. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, if I didn't know Peter had been going out with Agatha this year… Well, it's not really my place to cast aspersions on my friend's sexuality so let's not go there.

Anyway, this time I'm not writing for any particular reason other than to clear my mind as per old Dumbly's suggestion. Good old Dumbledore. Even in times of extreme violence, he believes that writing in an unimportant diary will help protect us from Evil Forces Incorporated!

I suppose that's not really fair of me, though.

I do reckon these journals must be helping (or why would I be wasting my time) but I just want to _do_ something! I want to fight - actively, that is. I'm definitely going to be an auror when we finish at Hogwarts (that is unless they ask me to play quidditch for England… ah, dare to dream) but there must be something more I can do. When Cat's dad died, Dumbledore told her about a secret order dedicated to fighting Voldemort. I already knew about it and told her to keep it quiet - it's supposed to be kept quiet for the safety of the order members and so that the ministry don't ask too many questions. My Dad's a member, so I naturally know all about it. And Dumbledore, I think, must've told Lily about it because it's come up a few times in conversation between us.

We've talked about joining up together, but I'm not sure if I want her to. It's not that I don't think she's capable of defending herself - I've been on the receiving end of her hexes one too many times not to know better - but I'm not sure I want her putting herself at risk like that. I remember after the attacks in November she was hesitant about naming Death Eaters we saw because she thought it'd put us bang on Voldy's hit list. And she was right. For all we know, we could already be targets. After all, we have actually faced him in person and have given him what my dad likes to call 'cheek'. If she joins up with the Order she'll be in even more danger because, for all the talk about safety and security and secrecy, You-Know-Who's bound to find out eventually. And I could not live with myself if she got hurt and I wasn't there to stop it.

This is going to seem like a big call - some might say melodramatic (but I'd hazard a guess that these 'some' have never been truly and irrevocably in love) - but I would die for her. Woah! That's a massive statement. But it's true. I'm not trying to sound all heroic and manly and whatever, but just like I would take the fall for my mates, I would die for Lily Evans. Because I love her more than, well, words. And I don't think I could live without her. A world without Lily… it doesn't bear thinking about.

Great.

Now I'm starting to sound like a chick.

I'm going to get back to the topic at hand - fighting Voldemort.

There's no way on God's green earth that Lily would ever listen to me if I told her not to join up. She'd tell me to stop being a chauvinistic male pig who believes that only men should confront world problems. She probably wouldn't listen to me if I tried to tell her that I just didn't want her to get hurt.

No, the only way we're doing this is together, whether I like it or not. I'll just have to make sure that Dumbledore gives her the less dangerous tasks.

Now I'm thinking like an adult. How bizarre! Mum would be shocked that her little trouble-maker has finally 'grown up'. But is that what growing up is? Being forced to look at the dangers in the world around us? That's pretty bleak. There's more to it than that. I guess it's finding responsibility and all that. Probably something to do with love as well. If that's the case, then I've been good for a long while now.

I bet Lily doesn't even know she does this to me.

I mean, I'm completely sane one minute, then the next I'm rambling on about the future and dying for her and fighting Voldemort and facing responsibilities.

GET A GRIP POTTER!

That's better. Yelling to myself in my head works more often than you would suspect.

Maybe, in the interests of _not_ letting my friends know I'm officially insane, I should focus on something else.

What else is interesting…

OH! MY BIRTHDAY!!

I'll be sweet seventeen in exactly a week and a day (strangely convenient how my birthday falls on a Friday - the best possible night for partying) and I can't wait to finally be of age. It adds to the whole sense of being an adult and having responsibility, so I suppose that's a good thing. Truth be told, I'm actually just excited because it means Padfoot will have to stop lording it over me that he's legally an adult and I'm not. It's excessively frustrating, let me tell you!

Anyway, I'm planning on having a party. And I'm not talking a small Marauder and our girls type gathering. I'm thinking full on, common room, end-of-the-year-proportioned blow out. It will be _epic_. After all, you only turn seventeen once and it's my last chance to really not have to think about the responsibilities that come with the age. Make the mess and leave someone else to clean up after me. That's what the old me would've done. This way, it's sort of like a farewell to that thoughtless, carefree Potter and a welcome to a more mature, albeit still irrational and joke-loving me.

Does that sound stupid?

I just think it's sort of… symbolic or something.

In any case, I just hope Lily sees eye to eye with me on this one. I can see her getting more and more tightly wound as NEWTS get nearer and I don't fancy having to keep the party a surprise til Friday for fear that she'll shut me down.

In other news - and don't take this the wrong way and make me sound like a middle-aged stay-at-home gossiping sticky-beak, but - Anna didn't sit with us today at lunchtime. Then Lily and I came across her having the most vicious catfight Hogwarts has seen in centuries (well, we heard it actually - I avoid Myrtle's bathroom at all costs!) with none other than Moony's new girlfriend, Claire. It was all rather dramatic. They both ended up having to go to the hospital wing to fix their cuts and bruises. I always knew Anna was feisty - it sort of came across the couple of times we went out together - but I never knew she was quite that physically aggressive. This is the sort of behaviour we Marauders limit ourselves to with Snape and his cohort of slimy Slytherins - not acceptable in public areas or on unsuspecting victims. From what Lily said, Claire gave as good as she received, but that's hardly the point. Anna had no right to just attack her the way she did, although we can all guess the motive. But then there's the interesting bit. After lunch, or so I heard from Nearly-Headless Nick, who heard from the Fat Lady who heard from Sir Cadogen who heard from a couple of Monks on the third floor, who apparently heard from a seventh year Hufflepuff named Cadwallader, Anna and CARADOC DEARBORN had been getting cosy in divination!

The same Caradoc Dearborn who captains the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. He's a nice enough bloke, to be sure, but I had no idea he liked Anna, and he's the sort of guy who makes his intentions known, if you get my drift. That is to say, he has unparalleled confidence bordering on arrogance which inevitably draws the ladies to him. Pads reckons he's like the old me but with more manners. I beg to differ. I think I'm much better looking.

Either way you look at it, it occurs to me that it's a bit bizarre how suddenly Anna and he are (allegedly) thick as the proverbial thieves. I have a sneaking suspicion that she's up to something. I just can't quite work out what it is. And Lily doesn't agree with me at all. When I tried to bring the subject up at dinner, she just snapped at me. Clearly she doesn't want to think ill of her best friend. Well, think worse things than she already does, I guess, because clearly she's really angry at Anna.

But I really need to stop being interested in all this sordid gossip. I'm seriously such a girl today! Must be my sentimentality at finally casting off the freedom that was my youth.

Or maybe I'm just intoxicated by my own sleep deprivation.

Again, no matter which way you want to look at things, there's clearly one answer.

James Potter needs sleep… and to stop referring to himself in the third person.

PS LILY LOVES ME! Sorry - it just doesn't get old, though.

* * *

Harry furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of his father's confusing scrawl. He had had no idea that his dad had been such a gossip - it was frightening to think that he shared any character traits with aunt Petunia, but there it was in writing.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ginny asked, looking up from Cat and Sirius' fake wedding photos.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing. It's just… well, is it me or did my parents and all of that lot…well, they seem to talk about their feelings a lot."

Ginny shook her head with a grin, "So?"

"So, I didn't even know what love was when I was their age," Harry argued, "How could they possibly be so sure of anything?"

"Is this about Sirius' wedding to a girl you'd never heard of?" Ginny questioned carefully.

"No, it's not that exactly," was the muddled reply, "it's more that they all seem so comfortable talking about how they feel."

"These are their diaries you know."

"Well, yeah but-"

"And isn't it reassuring to know how in love your mum and dad were?"

"I guess-"

"So, what's the problem?"

"My dad was a gossip!"

Ginny just laughed incredulously at him. "Is that it? I thought it may've been something serious."

Harry glared at her for a minute before his resolve softened and he managed a small smile. "It's just different, that's all."

"It was a different era, Harry. They were in the middle of a war."

"Yeah, but so were we. And I didn't even know what it was that I felt every time I was around you. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then, by the time I did, you were with someone else… and you were my best friend's sister," he added as an afterthought.

"Firstly, I still am your best friend's sister, unless you and Ron had a falling out I don't know of. And secondly, you got me in the end so there's really no need to worry." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning her head gently on his chest. Harry placed his lips briefly to her flaming read hair, kissing her softly, before leaning his cheek on her head and sighing. "Yeah, I guess I did get the girl in the end."

He smiled.

* * *

It seemed that with NEWTS drawing ever nearer, the seventh year students of Hogwarts clung onto one another like lifejackets after a plane crash in the ocean, so to speak. Couples were pairing off left, right and centre as it seemed nobody wanted to be left alone at the end of the school year. This was undoubtedly due both to their collective fear of growing up and leaving the school and to Voldemort's increasingly terrifying presence in the wizarding world.

As such, it was no great surprise (to the student body at large) that Anna Brown and Caradoc Dearborn had become an item in the past week. Their friends, on the other hand, had not seen this relationship bombshell coming.

"You and _WHO_?" Cat had shrieked at Anna, nearly knocking over the telescope balanced precariously on the edge of the astronomy tower.

"SHHH! Cat!" Anna had blushed, trying to look as modest as possible. After all, if she was to keep up the façade and make Remus jealous then she would have to convince everyone of her feelings for the dashing Ravenclaw quidditch player.

It had been that Friday night's make-up astronomy class when Anna had decided to tell Cat that she and Caradoc Dearborn had decided to give their relationship another go, and the news had spread like wildfire since. Although it seemed to be the season to 'couple-up' as Peter had bitterly dubbed it, with two such high profile candidates as the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain and Gryffindor Beauty (of well publicised melt-down earlier in the year) it had been first rate gossip. Anna and Caradoc had - since deciding on the plan - spent every spare moment together making gooey eyes at one another. This polarised those with any interest in the matter into two distinct groups: The 'isn't it good that Anna's got someone' group and the 'She's clearly just trying to make Remus jealous' group.

"Obviously she's just trying to make Moony here jealous," Sirius said unthinkingly over Sunday breakfast, gesturing vaguely with a fork full of sausage. Claire wrinkled up her nose in disgust, still unused to the disgusting eating habits of the majority of the Marauders.

"Don't be ridiculous. Clearly she's just worked out that she needs to move on. And I have to say, what a way to go," Cat said, eyeing Caradoc's broad shoulders from her vantage point facing the Ravenclaw table.

"Oi! You're with me, gorgeous. And just 'cause we aren't married doesn't mean you can perv on other blokes!"

"Bit touchy there, Pads, afraid of a little competition?" James joked, trying to take the conversation to a safer place than the new couple ie Sirius' ego.

"Of course I can take it. Because who'd want anyone else than me?" Sirius crowed triumphantly. "But still, it's clearly all to make Messer Moony jealous."

"Sirius…" Lily groaned under her breath, not even bothering to look up from the Runes textbook she was rereading.

"Can we stop talking about it?" Remus snapped, although it wasn't really a question - it was a command. The seven of them ate their breakfast in silence, Peter's eyes darting all over the place and Claire looking awkwardly polite.

"So, err, what's on the schedule for today, then?" James asked congenially, "Three a side quidditch, anyone?"

"Study, Potter, or I'll ditch you," Lily said without looking up, not a trace of a joke in her voice. James was about to retaliate when they all heard a high pitched squeal from the Ravenclaw table. Knowing who it was coming from, none of them needed to look over but they did so regardless.

"Caradoc, _stop it!_" Anna squealed breathlessly, as her boyfriend of three days tickled her relentlessly.

"Not until you tell me what you were going to say!" he cried semi-dramatically, continuing to torture the blonde.

"Okay, o-kay," she gasped, righting herself before leaning forward to cup her hand delicately over his ear and whisper something into it. Whatever it was made the boy pull back with a delighted look on his face.

"Really?"

"Of course!"

"Are you sure I'll be welcome, though? I don't want to cause any trouble."

"It'll be no trouble. You're my guest," she beamed. The group had to look away when they began to passionately make out, at the breakfast table no less. Sirius took personal offence at this.

"Who do they think they are?" he asked of no one in particular, "That's just not decent. Besides, we can do so much better than that," he grinned at Cat. And before she had a chance to protest, Sirius was all over her, hands tangled in her hair, his lips moving against hers. Cat felt her initial objections to the snog crumble under the power of his kiss and allowed herself to be thoroughly and completely carried away by the moment.

"Oh, good Merlin, we're trying to eat!" James said, a look of repulsion on his face.

"This is why I study at breakfast," Lily muttered, although a faint crease of disapproval had appeared between her brows.

"Oi, Brown, tone it down!" Peter called out before he could stop himself. Remus shot him an angry glare for drawing Anna's attention to their table. With the sound of a plunger being removed from a drain, Anna pulled her lips off of Caradoc. Claire's lips were pressed together in a fine white line and her fist was clenched so hard around her glass of pumpkin juice that anyone who had been watching her would've worried about the showering of small glass shards when she would inevitably smash it, when Anna looked over an caught her gaze and then Remus'.

"Sorry, Peter. Just got caught up in the moment, you know how it is," she said clearly, not once breaking eye contact with Remus. He just looked at her blankly, wondering why she was doing this to he and Claire and wondering why it bothered him the way it did. She then got up happily and, dragging a bemused Caradoc by the hand, exited the Great Hall.

Claire just shook her head - her unplaited hair wavy and sleek, but veritably crackling with irritation. Remus placed a cool hand on her clenched fist, looking at her carefully out of the corner of his eye. By this stage Cat and Sirius had resurfaced but were trying, like Lily, James and Peter, not to interrupt the other couple's moment. They chose this moment to quietly excuse themselves, making their way back to their respective dormitories.

"I knew it," Claire said icily, "She's trying to make you jealous."

"No, she isn-"

"Remus, don't be an idiot, of course she is. Even you can recognise the signs." She sighed sadly, "It's just a matter of time before-"

"Before what?" Remus demanded.

"Before it works," Claire replied quietly, trying valiantly to hide her fear of rejection… and failing.

"Claire!" Remus said angrily, "Don't be ridiculous! I like you; I'm dating you! Whatever Anna says or does doesn't affect us in any way."

"She wants to come to James' birthday party with Caradoc, weren't you listening? It's just another opportunity to make you jealous. And what if it-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Claire Samuels," Remus growled, taking one of his palms and placing it gently on her cheek. "Let her come. Let her bring Dearborn. As long as you are with me, I don't care."

Claire smiled weakly. "You know, for all my forwardness I am rather insecure."

"I know," Remus smiled back, "But trust me, you have nothing to be insecure about."

They looked into each others eyes for a moment longer, making the most of the moment, before realising that they were in danger of looking like those gooey-eyed teenagers on Valentine's Day that made everyone want to be sick. So they broke apart and hastily made their way to the third floor corridor near the statue of Eargit the Ugly - they had a birthday present to buy, after all.

* * *

AN - Okay, so that probably wasn't worth the wait, but I truly hope it was!

I'm introducing more new characters (hopefully not too many in one go) so that there will be more for the sequel so I hope you don't all think Caradoc is random and out of the blue. He's a real character according to Wikipedia and I'm sorry if he's not quite fleshed out yet - give me time!  
Also apologies for Claire and Anna's catfight - it was necessary because Anna's a bit mean sometimes and Claire's just a bit sick of it - so I hope you didn't think it was too ooc!  
Please review and i hope you like it and yes - happy fanficcing :)

Also, I dedicate this chapter (although I wish i could dedicate a better written one, but maybe later) to my friend Kaitlin whose birthday it is today and to Eloise (chocolatekiosk... i think) who is muchly inspiring with her awesome story that I am reading at this very moment!! yay for writing!

so yes, that's about it. I promise more lj fluff in the next chapter because it was seriously lacking in this one. also, marauders probably drunk, maybe a game of truth or dare... and for those of you who requested harry and ginny - hooray - i hope i didn't make them too mushy, but that's how i think harry would react :)

HAPPY FANFICCING! :)


	43. The Next Step

**Disclaimer:** If I were JK (which I'm not) I wouldn't have kept people waiting so long for the next chapter! SORRY!

**Dedication:** This is split three ways:  
First, to Pluto-Nfl, whose birthday it was last week - happy birthday! I'm sorry it took me so long to post this but i hope it suffices as a late bday pressie  
Second, to Elli coz she has gastro at the moment and is feeling crappy - get well soon, lovely  
Thirdly to Ellie (with and e on the end) because she just sent me the most lovely and thoughtful and LENGTHY birthday message sms ever - thank you!!

**AN -** OMG It's been too long!!!! but i made this chappie extra long to make up for it!  
I am so sorry for my prolonged absence! I've now finished school forever YAYAYAYAYAY!!!! And it's my 18th birthday today YAYAYAYAY!!!! And I finally got rid of my writer's block!!!  
There is quite a bit of LJ fluff to make up for the lack of in previous chappies. Also, the whole Anna-Claire-Remus thing gets resolved, coz i was sick of their drama and Cat and Sirius pretty much continue on as before... crazy, cute and completely in love. awww  
Also, apologies in advance for Lily's bday pressie to James - it's so corny i was nearly sick... but i didn't want to change it coz it's kinda cute... if incredibly corny lol sorry (blame the fact that it's 2am) (that's 2hours i've been 18, btw, my offical bday hasn't started yet....eiii, im excited... sorry!)

Rating - they talk about sex (ie the next step) so im going with PG 13+ here. It's not remotely explicit - they just talk, but the warning's here anyway :)

Please Enjoy and Review :)

**

* * *

**

**Last Time**: Claire and Anna had a lovely catfight. Anna tried to make Remus jealous with Caradoc. Ginny and Harry had a moment.

* * *

**Chapter 42 - The Next Step**

The Friday night of James' birthday was an event not to be forgotten by the students of Hogwarts and in fact went down in the school's history as one of the largest and most ridiculous non-quidditch-or-end-of-the-year parties ever held.

Sirius had really outdone himself in terms of planning. He and Peter had 'borrowed' enough butterbeer and fire whiskey to supply an entire pub for a month, not to mention the tables upon tables of party food they had managed to get a hold off (courtesy of the Hogwarts house elves). Cat had helped to cast an enlargement charm - a very complex bit of magic - on the inside of the common room, making it feel bigger on the inside so that they could cram in as many guests as possible. Anna (and, to everyone's surprise, her new boyfriend, Caradoc) had insisted on buying decorations and had absolutely covered the room in colour-change streamers, glittering balloons (a few of which told very entertaining knock-knock jokes) and a massive poster in red and gold with the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES in big block print.

Word of mouth made sure that all the right people were invited - the prettiest girls from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, the friendliest guys and, of course, the quidditch groupies (not for James' benefit, but for Sirius' ego).

Although it was not a surprise party, Lily had insisted on dragging James away while their friends prepared the event, claiming that they had Head duties to fulfil in terms of patrolling.

"Of course, the less I know about what actually went into the planning, the less responsibility I have to take later," she added shrewdly as she and James passed a painting of a sea monster and a mermaid somewhere on the second floor.

"That's a good plan, Lils. Ignorance is bliss," James grinned, lopsidedly. He was clearly very excited about his party.

"So, did you get your present from your Dad yet?" Lily asked, slipping her hand into her boyfriend's comfortably as they rounded the corner together.

"Nope. He said in his letter this morning that he wants to give it to me in person. He'll come down as soon as possible."

"Still busy with those attacks in Bristol, then?"

"Hmm, guess so."

"You know, I'm surprised at you, James Potter," Lily said, amused.

"What? Surprised I'm not jumping up and down demanding lots of presents or something?"

"Sort of. I was wondering why you haven't asked me what _I_ got you yet," Lily replied, eyebrows raised.

"I don't want you to get me anything, though. Just being with you-"

"Is enough of a gift, yeah, I know, you said that," Lily cut him off, "But you didn't seriously think I wouldn't get you a present, did you?"

"Who knows? Crazy red head," he grinned again, and she slapped him playfully on the arm.

"Well, I did get you a present, but I don't think I want to give it to you now."

"Aww, come on, I didn't mean it!" She raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you want me to beg, Lils? Pleeeease! Please, please, please. You know I can't stand the suspense!" he exaggerated.

"Fine, let's go then. It's up in our dorms. We can go up there, get changed and go to your party afterwards, How about that?"

"Sounds like a plan. Come on, I'll race you there." And with that, he sprinted off down the corridor, a smirking Lily running quickly after him.

* * *

"Seriously, Moony, it's not going to be that bad!" Sirius insisted, pulling on his friend's sleeve.

"No, Padfoot, I'm too tired to put up with her stupid behaviour. Either she goes or I go!"

"You know you are being incredibly immature about this," Sirius said, "She's just your ex; get over it."

"Easy for you to say, half the school are your exes," Remus said grumpily.

"Hey! No need to get personal. And besides, I'd like to think it's significantly more than half," Sirius boasted. "But, really, she's just Anna. The same old Anna you promised to be friends with last time we played truth or dare. Can't you just play nice for once?"

"She was _awful_ to Claire, though."

"And we both know she can hack it-"

"But she shouldn't have to put up with-"

"I KNOW! But just relax, Moons. You've been using the same excuse all week not to hang out with us. It's time you moved on 'cause otherwise we're never going to see you again."

"But-" Sirius held up his hand to stop the werewolf.

"I don't want to hear it, Remus. Suck it up and be a man… rub some dirt in it, or whatever it is they say. Bottom line: you need to be here for James. Don't let Anna put you off. Besides, she's got Caradoc bloody Dearborn to keep her occupied now, so it shouldn't be a problem… Oh," Sirius cut off, catching his friend's murderous glance at the mention of the quidditch captain. "No WAY! Are you jealous of Dearborn?"

"What? No!" Remus responded fervently.

"Oh dear Merlin, you ARE!" Sirius crowed, "I can't believe it! I thought you were over Anna!"

"I am! I just don't like her flaunting her new relationship in everyone's faces, that's all."

"Hardly flaunting anymore than you, mister I'll-kiss-Claire-in-broad-daylight-whenever-I-feel-like-it-even-if-it-makes-some-people-want-to-vomit-all-over-their-daily-bacon-and-eggs. She's just doing what you've been doing since you started dating again."

"You think so?" Remus muttered quietly.

"Duh, Fred," Sirius replied, rolling his eyes. "She's just making herself feel better by doing as you do. Relax. Now, are you going to play nice tonight?"  
Remus glowered in response.

"Listen," Sirius continued in an undertone, "I know it's the full moon tomorrow night, but you need to lighten up, buddy. Do it for James, okay?"

"Fine," Remus conceded with a sigh. "I'm going to go get Claire, then I suppose we can get this party started," he said unenthusiastically.

"Sure, Moons, whatever you say."

"One more thing. Stop calling me Moons - you know I hate it!" he said as he stalked out of the common room.

"Well, this sure is going to be a fun night," Sirius muttered to himself, before sauntering back over to Cat, who was lounging on the couch, curling her eyelashes with her wand.

* * *

"There's sort of two parts to your present," Lily said leading James into her bedroom.

"Lily," James began in a stern voice, but she cut him off.

"No, it'll make sense, I promise. Because the first thing is something I think you'll want and the second is something I want to give you," she explained awkwardly.

"What do you-"

"Oh, just open it will you?" she thrust a neatly wrapped package at him and flopped down on the edge of her bed. James sank down next to her, carefully peeling off the wrapping paper.

"Hurry up, Potter, or we'll be late," she chided playfully, as he opened the package to reveal a thick looking book with a dark leather cover. "It's Alastor Moody's memoirs, you know? The famous auror - probably works with your Dad. Well, he was interviewed by this absolute psycho of a journalist a while back - Rita Skeeter, I think her name was - and he was really annoyed about what she wrote or how she embellished it and made it sound wonderful, so he thought he'd write his own. I managed to grab a copy before they recalled them - Moody suddenly decided that it'd be a bad idea if the wrong side got a hold of his stuff. In fact, I don't know why he got it published in the first place... But anyway, it's full of interesting stories and a few good spells and whatnot. So, I thought if you wanted to be an auror and you didn't want to be asking your dad for help all the time, this might be a good idea." She finally stopped for breath, looking a little sheepish.

"Wow!" James said, his face breaking into a lopsided grin. "I can't believe you managed to hang onto this!"

"Well, they only printed about five copies before he changed his mind. I had Dumbledore put in a good word to let me keep this one, I think Moody wanted to burn it…" she trailed off, noticing James flipping through the pages with unashamed enthusiasm.

"Who would've thought it, James Potter excited about a book unrelated to practical jokes or quidditch?" she muttered with a smile, breaking James' concentration.

"Thank you so much, Lils. I love it!" He leaned forward to kiss her, but she pulled away, placing a smaller, square package between them. He raised an eyebrow.

"You know, one present really would've been enough," he said politely.

"It's a tradition in my family, when someone reaches a milestone - like graduation or their seventeenth birthday - we get them a box like this one with something engraved in it," she explained as James unwrapped his second gift. It was a small wooden box, made from a deep mahogany and polished beautifully. It had a glass section cut into the lid so that whatever was inside was visible. Around the square edges of the lid was engraved _To James, on the occasion of your seventeenth birthday, I give you my heart, with all my love, Lily._ Inside the box was a small silver heart, about the size of an acorn.

"I know it's sort of corny, but it's a tradition, you see," Lily said shyly, mentally kicking herself for getting him such a sappy, sentimental gift.

Then James' lips were on hers and all thoughts of regret - in fact, any thoughts at all - were gone as she gave herself in completely to the kiss. She didn't even notice when they fell backwards onto her bed, lying side by side, James' arms around her body and her hands once again tangled in his messy hair. Lily felt ridiculously light-headed, despite the fact that she was lying down.  
Her skin burned where it touched James', and she felt as though that recurring cage of butterflies in her stomach had somehow multiplied ten fold and then exploded. James was equally giddy, although he seemed to still retain some vague control over himself and the situation. He tentatively rubbed his foot gently up and down Lily's calf and was rewarded with a soft moan into his mouth. Taking this as a good sign, he tentatively moved his hand down from the small of Lily's back, instead reaching under her shirt and placing his palm on her bare skin instead. Lily copied his actions - never breaking the kiss - moving one of her hands down to trace the hard planes of his chest through his shirt, and pressing her body closer to his. They continued in this manner - touching and kissing as close to one another as possible until-

"Lily? Are you in there?" Cat's voice from their common room broke through the hormonally charged, lust-driven haze that Lily and James had mysteriously gotten caught up in, and the couple reluctantly pulled apart. Surprisingly, neither one was blushing… and Lily's top was completely unbuttoned.

"Yeah, I'll be down in a sec," she replied in a remarkably steady voice. Swinging her legs off the bed, she stood - James following her lead - and she hastily smoothed down her hair and buttoned her shirt before going to meet her friend.

As the pair entered the common room, James with a slightly sheepish look on his face, Cat's eyes just about bugged out of her head.

"Oh! Right, err, sorry! I didn't realise that you two were, ummm, busy… Well, I'll just. I'll see you at the, ermm, party, okay? Yup. Bye," she stammered, hurrying out the portrait hole. There was a moment of amused silence in her wake before Lily broke into a fit of giggles.

"I've never seen Cat so flustered before in my life!" she cried with mirth. James chuckled along with her, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her middle.

"And who would've thought it'd be _us_ _snogging_ that would make her uncomfortable? I mean, it's not like she hasn't done much, much more."

"Mmm," Lily agreed, "But you know what?" she turned to face him, "I think if we hadn't been interrupted, it might've been a lot more than just snogging."

James couldn't help the nervous flutter of his heart at the suggestion in her tone, but managed to keep his voice steady.

"More than snogging?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean, James," Lily said, a light blush staining her cheeks - but she did not break eye-contact.

"Lily-"

"Sex, James. That's what I was talking about," she snapped, folding her arms (with great difficulty, considering she was still in James' arms) across her chest. James nearly fell over.

"S-sex?" he stammered, "Are you sure?"

"I didn't mean right now, stupid. I mean…I don't know what I mean," she sighed an impossible sigh and pulled away, dragging James to sit down next to her on the couch.

"I mean, we've been going out for a few months. We've snogged, we've said we love each other… I mean, I just assumed that, at some point, we will have to consider… you know."

There was a moments silence.

"I mean, it just seems like the logical next step," she added quietly.

"We don't have to," James said tentatively, sensing that this wasn't something Lily particularly wanted.

"Well of course we don't have to," Lily said, rolling her eyes, "I was just bringing it up now so that in the future we are… prepared."

"In the future?" James said blankly.

"We don't have to," Lily looked away, "I mean, if you don't… don't _want_ to, then that's fine, I guess-"

"What do you mean don't want to?" James said incredulously, "Of course I want to!"

Lily looked at him with wide eyes, and James hurried to amend his statement. "I mean, of course I'd want to if you wanted to. I'm not in any hurry, Lily."

"Wait, now I'm confused. Do you or do you not want to have sex?… with me, I mean, obviously," she asked.

"Well, not to generalise or anything but I'm a bloke-"

"No! Really? I hadn't noticed!"

"And asking us if we like… you know what… is like asking if the Pope's a catholic."

"So basically that's a yes, you would like to have sex?" Lily asked, frowning at James' logic.

"Well, yes. I mean, Lily, you're beautiful and smart and sexy and I love you. Of course I would want to do it. It's just…"

"Yes?"

"Firstly, I wasn't expecting such an offer so suddenly. And secondly, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

"Oh, then there's no problem."

"Huh?"

"James, as you pointed out, you are a 'bloke'. In fact, you're pretty much a man. And a very handsome, intelligent, sexy one at that. And I love you too. So, of course I want to share you-know-what with you. Why else would I have brought it up?"

"Another birthday present?" James grinned, as Lily slapped him on the arm.

"Very funny, Potter."

"So, hold on a minute, Lils. Let me wrap my head around this. You are want to do it and I want to do it, and yet, we aren't doing it."

"Was there a question in there somewhere?"

"Yeah, what are we waiting for?"

"Well, I wasn't exactly offering anything in the immediate future. I mean, come on, we're too immature to even say it out aloud."

"Say what? Sex? Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex," James grinned, "SEX!"

"Okay, okay, very funny," Lily grinned, "But seriously-"

"Why does everyone think of him when I say sex?" James sighed in exasperation.

"James!" Lily laughed.

"Sorry, continue."

"As I was saying; seriously, though, we have to get you to your party. We don't really have time to be fooling around."

"It's my party, they can wait," James said, leaning in to kiss Lily. After a brief moment, she pushed him away.

"As tempting as that sounds, no they can't. A lot of effort went into planning this extravaganza so the least you could do is show up."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," James sighed, standing up off the couch and moving towards his room to get changed.

"And there's always _after_ the party," Lily suggested slyly under her breath as she headed towards the bathroom, a cheeky smile playing about her lips.

* * *

By the time Lily and James made it back to the Gryffindor common room, most of the guests had arrived and the party was in full swing. Apparently Sirius couldn't wait for his best friend to start the drinking off and was consequently already half-way gone by the birthday boy's arrival.

"Prongsie!" he bellowed as James walked through the portrait hole. Lily gave a customary eye roll at the drunken Marauder before leaving James with a parting kiss and going to find Cat. Although James would have preferred to stay with Lily the entire night (particularly given their recent conversation) he appreciated the effort she was making to let him have his 'guys' night.

"Padfoot!" he responded enthusiastically, crossing the room in three steps.

"Hey, everyone! The birthday boy's here!" Sirius cried before leading the room in a very off-key recital of happy birthday. James was then handed a fire whiskey by his best friend and proceeded to have half of the school come and personally wish him many happy returns and give him various gifts (many of which seemed to be suspect boxes of chocolate - even though he was now with Lily, some girls still retained the hope that all James needed was a good love potion…).

Meanwhile, Lily and Cat found a corner where the music wasn't quite so loud so that they could have a semi decent conversation.

"You look great, Lily," Cat said, "Did you do something new with your hair?"

Lily rolled her eyes - yet again - before replying. "Thankyou but no, I didn't. And I know what you _really_ want to ask, so why don't you get it over with?"

Cat grinned and leant towards her friend slightly. "Did you and James… you know… do _it_?"

Lily blushed and giggled.

"Oh sweet Merlin, you _did_!"

"No, shush!" Lily said quickly, her eyes darting around in fear of the aforementioned love-potion girls (who weren't above a bit of sabotage… or murder, should the case call for it).

"Oh," Cat said, looking crestfallen. "And there I was thinking we would have something interesting to talk about for a change."

"Oi! We have marvellous conversations," Lily said, "Just because I haven't… you know, doesn't mean I'm boring."

"Relax, I was kidding," Cat said. "Although, it would be an interesting conversation… we could compare notes." Lily hit her on the arm.

"So where's Anna, then?" Lily asked, not wanting to further discuss her plans with James until she had more resolve herself.

"Probably with that hunky boyfriend of hers," Cat said with a wistful sigh.

"Is that longing I detect in your voice, dear friend?"

"Perhaps," Cat grinned cheekily.

"You know, your boyfriend is fairly good looking, too," Lily quipped.

"Why, Evans, I never knew you felt that way," Sirius said, coming up from behind her and slinging his arm over her shoulder.

"Shove off, Black," Lily grinned, shrugging out from under his grasp.

"How many times must I ask him to stop coming onto my girlfriend?" James sighed, wrapping an arm around Lily's waist and kissing her chastely on the cheek. Cat shot Sirius a significant glance and made to pull him away subtly.

"Where are we going?"

"Giving them some alone time, stupid. They have… things to discuss."

"You're giving me that look," Sirius accused, refusing to move. "That look that means you're trying to avoid a scene and I'm making it difficult for you…"

"Yes, you are. Merlin, you're bad at subtlety," Cat muttered, pulling on his arm.

"You told her, didn't you?" James raised an eyebrow.

"She guessed, sorry. And there's no rush… just so you know," Lily added in a whisper.

"Oh, I see. They've been having the sex talk," Sirius waggled his eyebrows. "Finally decided to make it official then, have you?"

"Sirius, shut up please," James said seriously, his cheeks turning as red as Lily's hair.

"Hey, everyone!" Sirius yelled, before Cat silenced him with a quick charm.

"You know, for someone so handsome, you really can be incredibly hard work," Cat continued to mutter. Sirius just grinned and winked at James, clearly finding something very amusing about Cat's use of the word 'hard'. Before any of them had a chance to say anything further on the subject, Claire came up behind Lily, dragging a very tired looking Remus behind her.

"Hey guys, what's wrong with Sirius?"

Sirius, who had been gaping like a fish, unable to make any sounds, instead resorted to making some crude hand gestures and pointing between Lily and James, making his point quite clear. Claire blushed.

"Oh, right. Err, sorry?" she said, looking at Remus in confusion.

"Just ignore him, everyone else does."

"Happy birthday, by the way," Claire said, handing a small present to James, "Hope you like it."

"Thanks, Claire. And thank you for making grumpy-trunks, over there, come. I know it's bad timing, lunar-cycle-wise, but I really appreciate you both being here."

"Clearly, you're still far too articulate to be at a party," Peter said, coming out of nowhere and handing James another fire whiskey. "Drink up!"

"Best idea you've had all night, Pete," Sirius announced, his words slurring slightly as he was granted use of speech again.

"Is it a full moon tomorrow night?" Lily whispered to the girls - Claire nodded. "Poor Remus. He must be exhausted!"

"Yeah, a bit. Mostly he's just grumpy, but that's understandable given the circumstances," Claire said quietly, whilst the boys talked amongst themselves.

"Do you ever get worried about him?" Cat asked, "I mean, getting hurt or whatever?"

"What could possibly hurt an enormous werewolf?" Claire asked reasonably. "Anyway, it's not like he has free run of the grounds or the forest. He's kept in the Shrieking Shack for the duration of his transformation."

"Yeah, good point," Cat nodded in agreement, remembering the discussion she and Lily had shared when Anna had discovered Remus' condition.

"Ladies," Sirius interrupted, "Care to join us in a little game of truth or dare?"

Cat and Lily - predictably - rolled their eyes in unison, but Claire grinned in anticipation - she had heard about the Marauder's drunken shenanigans on the grapevine.

"Sure," she agreed, "I'm not one for dancing anyway."

And so Claire, Cat and Lily cleared some space near the common room fire and were shortly joined by James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank Longbottom (from the sixth year) and the two Abbot twins from Hufflepuff. It was an odd collection, but made for lively entertainment when Peter was dared to perform a strip tease for the Abbot girls, causing them to run away and Peter to go hide in his dormitory for the remainder of the evening. As for Frank, he got as far as confessing his love for former student, Alice Prewett, before passing out on the floor due to the deadly combination of fire-whiskey and sleep deprivation.

"Okay, Samuels, dare," Sirius slurred.

"Hmmm," Claire said, "I dare you to perform your best rendition of _Waterloo_ by ABBA to the entire room."

"Too easy," Sirius said, getting up.

"And dedicate it publicly to Severus Snape," Claire added with an evil smile. She was greeted with three very shocked and appalled faces.

"Claire, you can't," Remus began.

"Uh-uh, a dare's a dare," Claire said. "You have to do that, or answer a truth question. I have to say," she added in a softer tone, "I've always wondered what it is the rest of the fabulous four do on Remus' nights out."

"I'll do it!" Sirius said abruptly. Luckily for the Marauders, Lily and Cat hadn't been exactly paying attention to Claire's last comment, or they may have found Sirius' response suspicious.

No - Cat and Lily had been distracted by the sudden and rather stately entrance of Anna and Caradoc. It seemed as though every eye in the room had turned to look at them as they descended the staircase to the girls' dormitories (after all, they were hot gossip…and most people were wondering why the stairs hadn't turned into a slide, that is).

Although it was a mostly casual get together, it seemed as though they had dressed up for the occasion, with Anna wearing a mid-thigh length black dress that hugged her figure snugly and Caradoc wearing his school pants with a fresh white shirt elegantly unbuttoned at the neck. His arm was wrapped tightly around her waist and, although Lily knew it was all a façade, she couldn't help noticing that Anna looked genuinely pleased about it.

In a matter of seconds, Anna had spotted her friends and began making her way towards them. On route, she muttered quickly in Caradoc's ear, "Thank you so much for doing this - you're a really great friend."

Her date smiled down at her, tightening his arm around her waist, secretly wishing that they could be more than friends.

By this stage, even the two most responsible people in the room (Lily and Remus, of course) were mildly drunk. Cat and Lily had their heads in Sirius and James' laps, respectively, and Claire was leaning gently on Remus' shoulder while her fingers lay limply in his. The entrance of Hogwarts' 'it' couple made both Lily and Claire sit up straight, suddenly on alert, while Remus' posture stiffened infinitesimally. Although he and Anna had decided shortly after they broke up to be friends, Anna's irrepressible jealousy when it came to Claire had made their friendship impossible.

_Here we go again,_ Lily thought to herself, _She'll try to make him jealous and she'll ruin James' party. Well, I'm not having any of that. Besides, under normal circumstances, Anna and Caradoc would be perfect for one another._ Cat seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Lily, for she exchanged a look with her best friend that was half 'look how cosy they are' and half 'I'm over this jealousy thing'.

"Hey Anna, Caradoc," James said pleasantly, wanting to avoid a confrontation. "Have a drink."

"We're playing a bit of truth or dare," Sirius added clumsily, "You up for it, Brown?"

"Sure, Black, why not?" Anna said politely, seating herself between Lily and Cat, and dragging Caradoc down to sit next to her.

"I love the decorations, by the way. Thanks for organising that for me," James said.

"It was our pleasure," Anna replied. "So, whose turn is it?"

"I'll go," Lily suggested, "Truth."

"Hmm, okay. Have you ever thought about Sirius naked?" Cat asked.

"Of course I have," Lily replied with a shrug of the shoulders.

"WHAT?" James yelped, looking wounded.

"Oh, it's nothing," Lily replied, giggling at James' reaction. "It's just I accidentally saw him in the quidditch training rooms one night after you'd been practicing and I… well, the door was wide open!"

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS?" James turned on Sirius.

"Listen, mate, it was two months ago. You would've killed me if you knew your girlfriend had seen me naked before she saw you."

"YOU'RE BLOODY RIGHT, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" James roared, leaping up and chasing a now stumbling Sirius around the room, much to the amusement of it's occupants.

"Cat, why did you ask me that question! Sirius told you about that ages ago!" Lily cried, standing to go and stop her boyfriend from committing a murder he may later regret.

"I thought it was time we were all honest, considering your birthday present to James," she replied significantly. "Actually, maybe it wasn't the best time." They all looked over to James and Sirius wrestling on the floor near the foot of the boys' staircase. "I do hope your boyfriend doesn't castrate mine - I wanted all his parts in working order for tonight."

As Lily and Cat wandered off, Cat muttered to Lily, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think I am," Lily replied with a half-smile, "Now let's go tell the boys to cut it out and give those four some alone time."

"That was too much information," Anna muttered quietly, watching her two best friends leave and realising quietly that she finally had what she wanted - alone time with Caradoc, Claire and Remus.

"Well, this is… lively," Caradoc said with a semi-apologetic smile. Claire nodded politely.

"So, whose turn now?" Anna asked.

"Let's do this the old fashioned way," Claire suggested, her posture now rigidly upright, "We'll spin the bottle." Placing it between the circle of now four, she spun it swiftly before it landed on Caradoc.

"Truth please," the captain requested, not wanting to leave Anna's side on a foolish dare.

"Okay, let's start with an easy one: if you and Anna went out once before and it didn't work out, how come you two are now joined at the hip?"

"Because it's our final year of school and I've decided I don't want to let her go," he replied smoothly, feeling every word to be the truth. There was no need to mention that he was only doing it to please the object of his affections in helping her make her ex-boyfriend jealous. Anna blushed slightly at the sincerity in his voice, before the bottle landed on her and she selected truth.

"Hmm, what to ask my girlfriend?" Caradoc pondered. "On a scale of one to ten, where am I in terms of kissing?"

"Eleven," she replied cheekily. As if to prove her point she leaned towards him and kissed him fervently. Remus felt an odd sensation - as though things were crawling under his skin - at the sight of this. A small part of his brain wondered why he was put off by their kissing, while the majority of it seemed to feel relief that perhaps their relationship was not a façade to make him jealous. Claire had a similar mix of curiosity and relief on her face. _Maybe she has finally moved on_, she dared to hope.

Then Anna pulled away, looking slightly sheepish (as if she hadn't meant to get so carried away - Caradoc really was an eleven) and spun the bottle.

"Truth," Remus said hesitantly.

"Did you feel anything watching Caradoc and I, just now?" Anna asked, leaving three people feeling very disappointed. Caradoc's hand loosened slightly from about her waist.

"Apart from vaguely nauseated," Remus replied, suddenly icy, "Not a thing."

"Really?" Claire asked sceptically. Remus turned to face her, incredulity spreading across his face.

"Don't you believe me?" he asked.

"No, I don't. How could someone watch their ex kiss another person and not be affected at all. You're not that cold, Remus Lupin," she accused. He gave her a long, appraising look before turning once more to Anna.

"Okay, I did feel something."

"What?" Anna asked, feeling the predicted interest but a certain lack of excitement at his words.

"I don't know," Remus said, still cautious. He chanced a glance at Claire who was determinedly looking at the fire in the grate - she nodded slightly, encouraging him to continue. "I suppose, it's weird seeing you with another person because I used to… to love you like he does. I can see it in his eyes," he continued, when Anna looked like she was going to protest against what he had said about Caradoc. "Really, he does. But at the same time I felt, I dunno. Relief, I guess. That you had finally moved on, like I have. But then you go and ask a question like that and I wonder if you really have moved on or if this is still some kind of scheme to make me jealous. Is it, Anna?"

But she couldn't speak. There was a massive lump in her throat when she realised, perhaps most certainly, that her Remus had really and truly moved on. And yet, she couldn't deny that she was pleased about what he had said about Caradoc. Did he really feel for her? Was that why he had agreed to this stupid plan in the first place? Was that why she'd gotten tingles down her spine during that last mind-blowing kiss?

"Yes, it was," Caradoc answered for her. "She wanted to use me to make you jealous because she still cares about you. And I'd like to say I regret my agreeing to it, but I don't. I'd do it again, most probably, because she's a remarkable girl and I want another shot at her. I'd do almost anything just to please her - which is pathetic, when I think about it. But we're nearly finished here and it's my last chance to impress her. You and I both let her go once, Lupin. I don't want to make that mistake again."

Claire and Remus just looked on, gob smacked, wondering where on earth that had all come from.

"And I'm quite happy to be your rebound, Anna, if that's what it takes. Because, seriously, nothing you do is going to break these two up - we've seen it now for ourselves."

Anna continued to stare at her fake boyfriend, eyelashes wet with a mixture of disappointment and elation.

"Well, that was unexpected," Claire said to Remus. He looked at her in concern.

"Aren't you angry at me? At her? At anyone?" he asked.

"Nope," she replied.

"Why not?"

"Pay attention," she whispered, inclining her head towards Anna and Caradoc, who both seemed to have forgotten that they were with company.

"What?" Anna asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"Go out with me. On a real date," Caradoc replied, trying to be cool and arrogant, but there were nervous cracks in his mask.

"Why, though?" Anna replied.

"Because I like you."

"But you've just spent a week pretending to be my boyfriend because _I_ wanted to make my ex jealous. Isn't that a warning sign for you?"

"Nope. How's Sunday for you?"

"But I was completely hung up on him!" Anna protested.

"Was being the important word in that sentence."

"Caradoc!"

"Anna," he replied with a cheeky smile.

"I'm sorry, but _why_?" she persisted, absolutely at a loss as to why the most eligible bachelor of Hogwarts would want damaged goods, for want of a better label.

"'Cause we're friends. Good friends, with great chemistry, as that snog before well proved. Seems to make sense," he shrugged his shoulders, a bit of Marauder-like arrogance seeping into his tone as he sensed his victory. Anna frowned in consternation.

"But I'm not even sure if I'm over Remus."

"Trust me, love, you couldn't kiss me like that is you weren't… Not to mention, he's definitely over you."

Anna glowered at him, although she could feel the beginnings of hope starting to burgeon in her chest.

"You really want to go out with me?" she checked, raising an eyebrow. He nodded slowly, a smirk in the corner of his mouth. Then Anna threw herself onto him, locking lips once more in a passionate kiss.

"Sunday sounds perfect," she muttered against his lips.

"Well, it looks like that's sorted, then," Claire said happily, turning to look at Remus. "How do you feel?"

He paused momentarily. "Relieved."

Claire smiled, before taking his hand and leading him away from the new couple. "I'm pleased to hear it. Now, do you think you could manage a dance or two with me before I tuck you into bed? You look like you could use a decent night's sleep."

Remus just smiled and nodded, pulling her body tightly against his and swaying out of time with the music.

* * *

By this stage, Sirius seemed to be passed out on a small chintz armchair, limbs draped haphazardly over the sides. Cat was curled up at the foot of the chair, a fire whiskey in one hand and a quidditch magazine in the other (she appeared to be giggling madly at the 'pretty moving pictures'). Lily and James, meanwhile, were still dancing. Having managed to separate the best friends from their fight, Lily had spent the next ten minutes reassuring a drunken James that she was sure he would be better endowed than his best friend and that even if he weren't, it wouldn't matter to her.

"But Lily!" James whined, "I can't believe you've seen Padfoot's bits and you haven't seen James Junior!"

"James junior?" Lily cried in mirth, "You named it?!"

"A man's got to name it, Lily. James Junior is a very impotent person."

"I think you mean important, James. And no he's not! He's not a person at all!"

"Don't be outlandish, Lils. You'll hurt JJ's feelings."

"It's such a stupid name, too. Honestly, where's the creativity?"

"Well, what would you call it, then, Miss Smarty Pants Know it All!"

"I am NOT a Miss Smarty Pants Know it All! I'm Miss Smarty Pants Know it All Evans-Potter, thank you very much."

"Evans-Potter?"

"Yes, because when we get married I'll take your name because it sounds pretty, but not just yet 'cause I'm still Evans to you forever."

"You're so nonsensical, Lilypilly."

"And you're ridiculous, Prongsie-pie," Lily retorted, giggling feebly as she leaned into James' chest. "You know, I think it's more fun when you're drunk, too. I don't feel like such a plonker."

"Aww, Lils. You're never a plonker," James said seriously, his face solemn.

"James, you're so sweet!" she threw her arms around his neck and locked them there. James growled predatorily in her ear and the sound sent shivers through Lily's body. Although she was nearly unable to stand, due to the amount of alcohol she had imbibed, she suddenly felt very aware of what was going on around her. She reached up and clumsily nipped his earlobe with her teeth, making him groan quietly this time. Through her mind absurd ideas - such as asking to be introduced to JJ - were running wild, but she reigned them in, settling for just being held close to her boyfriend's warm, loving body. That is until James knocked her legs out from under her, lifting her up into the traditional bridal cradle, and proceeded to sprint with her til they reached their dormitory.

As soon as they were in the door and in his room, James deposited Lily on his bed, breaking away only briefly in order to get more comfortable so that they could resume their kissing. Although Lily was thoroughly enjoying herself, when she fell back onto the pillows she felt her eyelids begin to droop. She was unable to stifle the yawn when James removed his lips from hers to kiss gently at her collar bone. Unfortunately for her, he heard it anyway and reluctantly moved to lie slightly apart.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just so, so, so," she yawned again, "tired."

"It's okay," James said with a sloppy grin, "There's always tomorrow."

"Yay! I can meet JJ then, instead," Lily giggled, snuggling into James' chest.

"I hope you forget that I named it. I'll be so embarrassed if you remember," James muttered, pulling the blanket over them as Lily rubbed her eyes cutely.

"Don't worry, I'll forget," she said quietly, as she drifted off to sleep. James couldn't help but smile too as he realised that this was the best birthday he'd ever had.

* * *

AN - Okay so the ending's a bit bizzare - but that's what happens when you drink too much alcohol - things get weird!!! the truth and dare and drunken marauders were requested so i hope they sufficed (although i admit, i could've done more with the drunken behaviour - but there's plenty of time for that later, because I DONT HAVE SCHOOL EVER AGAIN EVER! yay!)

Coming up: The full moon, the marauders map and a careless mistake...

PLEASE REVIEW!!! (Im sorry it's been so long, but reviews now will definitely make me write faster!) cyber cookies and or hugs for all :) happy fanficcing!!!


	44. Mischief Managed?

**Disclaimer: **If I were JK, I wouldn't have left it so long between updates!

Rating - Talks about sex in this chapter (not graphically, of course) but yes. You've been warned. :P

AN - SORRY! (for both the long time it took me to write this - when you read it, you will understand why it took so long - and for what happens to the characters that we love)  
Also, sorry about the Remus Anna Claire Caradoc thing - I didn't get much positive feedback for that, but that is the way the cookie crumbles so sorry to all you anna remus lovers - please don't 'hate me' or stop reading because of it. After all, we are all here for Lily and James... (which is why you may hate me later...)

(evil laugh)

* * *

**Chapter 43 - Mischief Managed?**

Never really having been one for the fire whiskey, Lily found hangovers to be a new and unpleasant experience. Having woken up to an empty bed - James' bed - and to a note saying that he had once again forgotten about his quidditch team in need of training, Lily felt lonely. Then anxiety about the night before crept into the pit of her stomach. It was at this point - when she was trying desperately to remember if she and James had done anything the night before - that her anxiety made her stomach turn. It was not a moment later that she realised that her 'anxious stomach' was, in fact, the result of too much fire whiskey. She leaned quickly over the side of the bed and, with lightning fast reflexes, conjured a bucket which she promptly threw up into.

"Ugh," she groaned, wiping her mouth gingerly with the back of her hand.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

Never, EVER again!

My head is spinning, my stomach is heaving and I seem to have no recollection of what happened last night.

How on earth James can get up and go to quidditch training after a night like that is beyond me. Mind you, I suppose he has had a lot more experience when it comes to drinking yourself stupid than I do.

OH MERLIN! WHAT IF HE FALLS OFF HIS BROOM!

* * *

Ginny chuckled at the last line of the diary entry. Harry had fallen asleep on Lily and James' old bed, a photo in one hand and Alastor Moody's recalled book in the other. Slowly and softly, so as not to jostle him awake, Ginny leaned over and removed Harry's glasses, placing them on the beside table. She then kissed her sleeping boyfriend on the forehead and continued to read the next entry of Lily's diary.

* * *

THANK MERLIN! He didn't fall off his broom.

By the time I had gotten down there, I had thrown up again, my vision was slightly blurry and I missed nearly the entire practise. Cat was already down there looking annoyingly sprightly for so early in the morning. Well, I _say _early. Really it was already midday… but that's not the point.

Of course, when James realised that I had come to the stands to watch the team train - and consequently saw that I looked like death warmed up - he called off the prac, saying that the team were well enough prepared for next week's game against Ravenclaw. I felt a bit guilty but mostly pleased that I could talk to him about my apparent memory loss from the night before. Our conversation went as follows (we were on the way to the kitchens for some hangover-curing bacon and eggs):

J - Lils, are you okay? You look a bit pale.

L - Urgh! Don't shout, my head hurts.

J - Wow, how much did you have to drink last night?

L - You tell me, birthday boy. Honestly, was it really necessary to have _that much_ fire whiskey?

J - Hey, you could've said no.

L - And miss out on all the fun? Unlikely.

J - Well, that's why I'm taking you to the kitchens. I have discovered the perfect cure for hangovers.

L - And how is it exactly that you avoided a hangover? I seem to recall you were just as wasted as I was!

J - Marauder secret, love. Sorry.

L - Listen, James. About last night…

J - Mmm?

L - I woke up in your bed.

J - You sleep over sometimes - so?

L - I wasn't wearing much in the way of clothing.

J - Oh… OH!

L - Please tell me we… didn't?

J - We didn't!

L - Oh, thank Merlin!

J - Seriously, Lily - do you really think we'd be that irresponsible?

L - I honestly can't remember a thing about last night. I'm sorry but I had to ask.

J - … That's okay. It's good to be sure, I guess.

L - I mean… We will at some point… you know.

J - Yeah, of course, sure, yeah.

L - I just want to be able to remember it, you know?

J - Of course, Lils. I don't want to force you into anything, remember?

L - Sure I remember. Oh, good. Food!

J - You sure you're alright? You look a little queasy.

L - It's just the smell makes me want to (I threw up… again)

J - That's so gross.

L - It's your fault!

J - Ew, ew, yuck!

L - Grow up, James.

J - I'm sorry, Lily, but I have some sort of pathological fear of all things vomit-related.

L - A _pathological _fear?

J - It's true! _Please _tell me if you're going to do that again.

L - Honestly, you men are such babies!

J - (groans)

L - Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

J - Here, have some bacon.

L - Are you sure it's a good idea to be giving the vomit-girl food?

J - Just eat it. The grease'll help settle your stomach.

L - Meh, if you insist.

J - You know, it's a pity we both got so… let's say Sirius-like, last night

L - Mmm.

J - Because, well… I think we're ready.

L - (chokes on bacon)

J - I mean, not that we have to do anything right away. It's just that, I guess, last night… we would have.

L - Please stop talking!

J - Sorry, Lily. I mean, if you're not ready, we're not ready-

L - NO! It's not that. It's just… all the house elves are listening. Do you think you could whisper?

(we leant in closer to one another)

J - Sorry about that.

L - How's tonight?

J - WHAT!?

L - James! Shut up!

J - Oh, right. Sorry.

L - Well?

J - Um, sure?

L - Your voice just broke.

J - I'm nervous, Lily!

L - James 'ladies man' Potter is nervous?

J - Stop talking about me like I'm Sirius. Of course I'm nervous. I've never… you know.

L - Really?

J - Why? Have, have you?

L - No, of course not. Thanks to you, I never had a boyfriend long enough.

J - Go James!

L - James? Tonight?

J - Yes? Oh, right. Um, are you sure?

L - Why not make the most of now?

J - You saw today's paper didn't you?

L - Yes, I did. But those killings don't have anything to do with my decision.

J - Are you sure?

L - Listen, James. I'm ready. We are ready. I want to do this. Do you?

J - Yes, of course!

L - Good. I'll see you after dinner in our common room, okay?

J - Where are you going now?

L - Well, clearly I need a hangover potion. Then I need some girl talk, sorry.

J - Do Cat and Anna really have to know about this?

L - Do Sirius and Remus?

J - Point taken.

L - I'll see you later

(insert kiss here and end conversation)

So now all that's left to do is have the all important advice chat with my very experienced and knowledgeable friends. I'm so nervous, I'm shivering. I wonder if that's normal. Or maybe it's the hangover… who can be sure?

But I didn't tell the entire truth to James. Yes, my decision was influenced by the latest news in the _Prophet_. Another spate of attacks on muggle borns was carried out over night and all I can think of is how little time there is left within the safety of Hogwarts walls. I may very well be killed the moment I enter the 'real world' just based on my so called 'dirty blood'. It sounds cowardly to say that, but don't think that I won't put up a fight - because I will. I'm not going down without one, as they say. But part of this Gryffindor courage is being realistic about the future and facing up to the facts. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Which is why I've decided to live in the now. And have sex with James. Tonight.

AHHHHH!

* * *

Ginny chuckled again as she turned the page of Lily's diary. She did not think that this was an entry Harry would particularly want to read, especially considering his aversion to all the 'emotional stuff' and also the fact that it talked about his parents having sex for the first time - no doubt a scarring read for any teenager. So she decided instead to take a leaf out of Harry's book and take a nap. She lay down next to him, surreptitiously slipping her hand into his, before closing her eyes.

James spent the rest of that Saturday anxiously consulting a book Peter had given him for his fifteenth birthday. Unfortunately _Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_ focused solely on _getting _the girl as opposed to what to do when you have 'charmed' her. Although he spent the afternoon frantically flipping through it's pages, by dinner time James found himself having a complete meltdown. It wasn't exactly an issue he could discuss with his dad, especially through the mail. _No_, James thought, _it's time to go to the highest authority there is on the subject of sex. Sirius._

And so, over his steak and kidney pie that evening he casually asked his best friend a very important question.

"Padfoot, I was wondering…"

"Ahh, the sex talk," Sirius said with a grin, clapping a mortified James on the back, "I thought it'd never happen."

"The first time, I mean. How did you, you know?" James muttered, poking at his mashed potatoes with his fork, his cheeks as red as Lily's hair.

"Young grass-hopper, you have much to learn," Sirius crowed, clearly enjoying himself, "Alas, this is not something that I, the master, can teach you. This is a lesson that you, the pupil, must learn for yourself."

"But-"

"No, young Prongs. This is a lesson in life that can only be learnt through experience. Trust me."

"And it's different for everyone," Cat chipped in, leaning past Sirius' shoulder. Lily was sitting with Anna down the other end of the table, getting as much information as she could on what to expect of the evening's upcoming events.

James put his head in his hands in embarrassment - he did _not_ need to be discussing his potential sex life with Lily's best friend.

"You don't need to worry, Potter. Everyone's first time is awkward. Just go for it," she winked.

"Urgh," James groaned, nerves getting the better of him. He pushed away his food. Sirius looked scandalised.

"Prongs, what are you doing?"

"I'm not hungry. Too nervous," James replied, his face once again in his hands.

"Nervous? Good Merlin, you're doing it tonight?"

"Well, yeah. Why would I be asking for advice otherwise?" James asked in puzzlement.

"I just didn't think it'd be so soon," Sirius said in a slightly subdued tone. "But you can't."

"Why not? You just told me there was nothing you could teach me, so it's not like I can be any more prepared," James retorted.

"Not 'cause of that... _Moony_," he whispered significantly. James felt his mouth fall open slightly.

"Already?"

"Mate, we were only talking about it last night. And, hello, he's not even at dinner. I thought that would've reminded you if nothing else!"

"Oh no," James moaned, "How do I tell Lily?"

"I don't envy your position, Prongs. She'll be right pissed."

"She'll think I'm not ready and then she'll think it's her and she'll go and get all insecure," James moaned. "Why didn't I think this through?"

"You know…" Sirius pondered, "I'm sure Moony wouldn't mind…"

"No. I can't leave a friend in the lurch, Padfoot. That's unforgivable," James said firmly, "There's no excuse."

"I'm sure he'd understand. Listen," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "Tell Lily you have to check on me being 'all alone' in our dormitory - make up some story about Pete being out or something - then we can go down, hang with Moony for a while, get him out for about half an hour, get him back into the shack. That way Moons can have his little bit of freedom, us Marauders get our fun and Lily gets you. It's fool-proof."

"Hmm," James frowned, trying to see a flaw in Sirius' plan.

"Trust me, Prongs, it's the best solution for everyone."

"Do you really think Remus won't mind?"

"Mate, he wouldn't want to stop you from… you know. He may have a furry little problem, but at heart he's just a bloke like the rest of us."

James grinned, "Okay, I'll just tell Lils. Take her back upstairs and explain. Meet you in the Entrance Hall in fifteen." And with that he dashed off to grab Lily and take her back to their common room.

* * *

Lily's wrist felt as though it were on fire where James had touched her. He had veritably dragged her out of the Great Hall, upstairs and through the portrait hole - much to the amusement of her friends - and had flung her gently onto the edge of the couch. Without thinking, Lily grabbed him by the tie and pulled him close, locking lips with him in the most heated kiss they had shared. They both knew that this was going somewhere and so all walls between them had come down. _Potter, focus_, James thought reluctantly, pulling away. _You have to go to Moony._

With every cell in his body screaming in protest, James pulled himself away from Lily, who was now looking amusingly puzzled and breathless.

"Lils, I have to go," James said in a ragged voice.

"What?" was the startled reply. Of all the words she had expected out of James' mouth, those were not even close.

"I'm really sorry, Lily. I just remembered I have to check on Sirius before we go any further."

"You need to check on Sirius?" she repeated, voice heavy with scepticism.

"It's a full moon and he's all alone in the dorm-" James began.

"Are you genuinely trying to put off sex with your girlfriend to go and check that your mate is okay _sleeping by himself_?" Lily said incredulously, trying not to let doubt creep into her mind. After all, perhaps James had changed his mind about her and was trying to let her down gently.

"It's just last minute jitters, Lils," James tried that new angle - quite a challenge considering a minute ago he had been assaulting her mouth.

"Oh," she nodded, "Okay. Well, I don't want to rush you. I guess this can wait." She began to move towards her dormitory.

"No, Lily, wait!" James cried out, thoroughly annoyed at himself for not organising his time better. "Just give me a while. I'll come straight back, I promise." He paused, "I just want to make this special for you. Not awkward."

Lily considered this for a moment. She didn't want it to be awkward either.

"Sure, James," she said with a small smile. "I'll just be in my room, okay?" She turned and quickly hurried away into her room, shutting the door softly behind her. She was glad that she wasn't the only one having a freak-out moment. That was the only reason James could have for being so insistent about seeing Sirius - to quell his own doubts, she supposed.

She sank onto her bed, pressing one hand over her frantically pounding heart. She was surprised that James couldn't hear it through the walls. She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to pay attention to the sounds around her. It was silent in her bedroom, but for the sound of the wind outside her window. And a low muttering that she couldn't quite place. It was coming from back in their common room. Crossing the room swiftly, Lily opened her door a crack and peered out.

"-Up to no good," she heard James mutter, pointing his wand at something on the coffee table that she couldn't see. After a moment of silent thought, James whipped out a cloak and threw it over himself, immediately disappearing from view. _Why does he need the invisibility cloak?_ Lily wondered, _Especially if he's just going to see Sirius?_

Then the portrait hole swung open and closed and Lily knew that James had left the room. Burning with curiosity and more than a little suspicion, Lily re-entered the room and went to find whatever it was that James had just been reading. Approaching the coffee table, Lily saw the slightly aged bit of parchment that she had become accustomed to seeing in the hands of one of the four Marauders. However, the parchment was not blank as it usually was when she saw it, but covered in inky lines depicting the layout of Hogwarts castle and labelled dots of everyone within it. Of course it was a map. Lily had often heard the boys talking about it and had even seen James consulting it on the occasion, but she had never had reason to look at it before. Nor the opportunity - it was very out of character for James to leave anything Marauder-related lying around without supervision. She knew he rarely left the dormitory without his invisibility cloak or his two-way mirror. So, of course, she couldn't resist a good and thorough examination.

Unfolding the many 'layers' of the map, Lily first searched for herself, marvelling with the knowledge that the four most irresponsible and rule-breaking Gryffindors had in fact invented the map themselves.

She found herself, as expected, in the Heads' Common Room. She allowed her eyes to rove over the map for the next few minutes, stopping every so often when she recognised a name. There were an awful lot of students out of their common rooms given that curfew was only minutes away, she noted with a half smile.

Then it occurred to her to check whether or not James had reached Sirius yet - the sooner he arrived and 'reassured' his friend (or rather, sought reassurance himself), the sooner he would return.

Her eyes immediately found _James Potter_ right next to _Sirius Black_ and _Peter Pettigrew_. To her surprise, however, they were not in the Gryffindor common room, or even in the dormitories. Lily was confused to see the three dots moving hastily - much faster than any of the other dots - towards the Entrance Hall.

_What on earth are they up to?_ Lily wondered in frustration. It took her a split second to make the decision to follow the rule breakers and discover their destination. Surely they couldn't be going where she thought they were going, could they? _No_, Lily thought firmly as she cast a disillusionment charm on herself, _Even the Marauders wouldn't be foolish enough to run around with a werewolf on a full moon. There's no way they're going to the Shrieking Shack. _

Lily felt her hair flying out behind her as she jogged down the corridors and staircases, not bothering to mask her heavy footfalls or breathing, given that everyone was supposed to be in their dormitories by now (despite the fact that it was actually a Saturday). She gave her surroundings a quick scan just as she reached the Entrance Hall. The grand doors appeared to be shut but on closer inspection Lily saw that the last people out of the castle seemed to have forgotten to shut it completely - perhaps on the off chance that this was their only way back in.

There was a sinking feeling in her stomach as Lily slipped out of the castle doors and checked the Marauders' Map. Her boyfriend and his mates appeared to be approaching the Whomping Willow, which was just out of Lily's sight from where she was standing. As she peered around the corner of the building, she was surprised to see in the bright moonlight, only Sirius and James standing near the violent tree. Peter was nowhere to be seen.

Frowning in confusion, the camouflaged Head Girl crept closer to the scene, only to see a small, scruffy rat dart forwards toward the base of the tree.

"Hurry up, Wormtail," James whined, "I have to get back to Lily before she suspects something."

"Don't sweat it, mate. We'll be half an hour, tops," Sirius replied easily, clapping James on the back.

Lily's head was spinning. She checked the map again - Peter Pettigrew was most definitely in the company of the other boys, according to the wizened bit of parchment. And wasn't Wormtail the nickname the boys adopted for Peter? Why would they be calling Peter that name… unless…

_What if Wormtail literally means worm-tail? What if Peter is actually an animagus: a rat with a tail like a worm?_ Lily thought in distress. But, no - there was no way gormless Peter could be that talented. The terrible two on the other hand…

Then there was a loud creaking sound and Lily looked up to see the wildly flailing limbs of the tree grind to a halt.

"Nice one, Pete," Sirius said, following the rat into a small hole that had opened up between the roots. James cast a wary eye over his shoulder before following Sirius through the hole and presumably down a tunnel that, Lily could only guess, led to the Shrieking Shack.

Before she could collect herself enough to follow them, the branches of the Willow began to move once more and the sensible side of Lily's brain kicked in, advising that although her motivations were investigative, death by willow in the pursuit of verity would not be the best outcome. Sighing, Lily decided that she could only wait for the boys to return before she could interrogate them. She returned, at a jog, to her dormitory were she once again drew out the map. The Marauders' names had disappeared off the Hogwarts grounds altogether!

Now Lily was not nearly as strict or as rule-abiding as she had once been, but in the new times of terror and uncertainty she thought it the height of irresponsibility to leave the safety of Hogwarts castle _especially_ without her knowledge or permission. It was a sign of Lily's love for James that she had hereto been quite lenient in respect to the Marauders' frequent jaunts to Honeydukes and Dufftown, mostly because they had always told her when they were going.  
It was most distressing to have no idea where the boys were and, more importantly, to have been lied to outright! No sooner had Lily realised that she had been intentionally given the slip - and for clearly more reason than James just having last minute doubts about their sexual relationship - than her red-headed temper began to take over. Within seconds she was fuming; thinking up ways both to weasel the truth out of her boyfriend and punish him at the same time.

It was when she was sitting by the window, gazing unseeingly outside whilst trying to remember the most painful hexes, that she heard a spine-chilling noise. It was a wolf howling. Squinting, Lily gazed out into the moonlit grounds, searching for any sign of James or Sirius. To her amazement, she was able to focus on the tiniest bit of movement at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It was the rat - possibly Peter - from earlier. Following it was a large, jet black dog and a majestic looking stag, both gleaming slightly in the moonlight.

_But they __can't__ be!_ Lily thought, _I would know. James would've told me. _

Then, from out of the trees, sprung a huge beast; tall and rangy, its almost human shape was covered in fur and elongated in strange places. Then it howled, leaving Lily in no doubt that it was Remus in his werewolf form. And there they were, the four Marauders. It all made sense: Moony was Remus, Wormtail must be Peter the rat. Then Padfoot must refer to Sirius, the dog, leaving Prongs the stag to be James.

In Lily's mind a battle was raging - was she more upset that her boyfriend hadn't told her the truth or that he was putting himself in mortal peril on a regular basis by running about the Hogwarts grounds with a werewolf?

* * *

Meanwhile, down near the Forbidden Forest, the Marauders were enjoying a very speedy jaunt in the moonlight. James was chasing after Moony so that he could adequately fulfil what he thought was required of him, in terms of his loyalty to Moony. Sirius was gambolling alongside the pair, barking playfully, but his mind was elsewhere. His thoughts kept lingering back to Cat and their strange relationship. They had been friends with one another, then they had started dating, then they had slept together, then there had been a pregnancy scare, then they had nearly gotten married, and now they seemed to be fairly normal. It was like they were just very close friends, but with kissing. This puzzled Sirius because he had never thought that he would ever be in a relationship that could be described as comfortable. Exciting, passionate, thrilling - yes - he was, after all, a ladies' man. But comfortable? He hadn't seen that one coming. And the fact of the matter was, he really rather liked it. He had no idea where it was going - they knew they didn't want to be married (that was a little _too_ committed) but they had been physically intimate. Sirius just wondered where you could go from there.

These thoughts had come to be on his mind a lot recently, due to the fact that their final year was drawing to a close. Realising that James, his best friend in the entire universe, was finally getting super serious with Lily forced Sirius to reassess not only his own plans for the future (which had been sharing a bachelor pad with Prongs and the others) but his seemingly stagnant (though still meaningful and important) relationship with Cat. They'd only been together precious few months - how could their relationship have nowhere else to go?

Sirius pondered this as he ran alongside Moony, nipping at his heels in an attempt to divert the lycanthrope's attention from his best friend, who was now sporting a rather large gash across his mid-section.

Twenty-four minutes later, precisely, James (or rather, Prongs) began to herd Moony back towards the deserted end of Hogsmeade and into the Shrieking Shack. He knew Remus hadn't had a full night out and would no doubt take his frustration out on the already dilapidated furniture inside his prison-come-refuge, but he couldn't afford to leave Lily waiting any longer. With a brief nod to Padfoot and Wormtail, Prongs made his way towards the trap door, before transforming back into James and legging it down the tunnel, dutifully ignoring the burning pain in his side - he could heal that when he reached the common room, hopefully _before_ Lily saw it.

James pushed open the portrait hole with a sense of trepidation. He was sure he had taken the map with him, but upon checking his pockets realised he must've left it in the common room. Not only did this leave him vulnerable to Peeves and Filch on his return trip, but it also left him with the sinking feeling that Lily might have taken the opportunity to look - which would truly get him into trouble.

Forgetting all about the large injury that was leaking scarlet blood through his white shirt, James called out tentatively, "Lily?"

He hadn't noticed her in her statue-like still position near the window overlooking the grounds. She turned to face him, her face a very pale mask. It didn't help that the moonlight gave her a slightly sickly glow. She fixed her blazing emerald eyes on him. In that moment, he knew that she had seen the map. He only hoped she wasn't as clever when it came to her assumptions. He stood stock still across the room from her; both were able to sense the tension in the air - unfortunately, it was not the good sort of tension they had been looking forward to only hours earlier.

"Where did you go?" she asked in a balanced voice, betraying no feeling whatsoever.

"To-to see Sirius," James replied, unsure.

"And where was he?" Lily asked.

"With Peter," James said in the same uncertain voice.

"So you went to see _Padfoot_ and _Wormtail_?" Lily asked coldly.

"Err. Yeah," James replied, with that sinking feeling.

"Off of Hogwarts grounds?" she stated, rather than questioned.

James remained silent.

"Where does the tunnel under the Whomping Willow lead, James?"

Silence.

"To Moony and the Shrieking Shack?" she asked, her eyes flashing angrily now. Her voice was no longer calm and balanced, but shaking as though she couldn't contain her anger.

_Damn it!_ James thought, _She knows._

"Lily, it's not what you think-" he began.

"Oh, it's not?" she said, sarcastically, "So you're telling me every full moon when you _swear_ you're spending time with Sirius who is 'too afraid' to be in the dorms alone, you're _not_ actually gallivanting about with a werewolf off campus?"

"Uh-"

"In an unregistered animagus form?"

"Well-"

"With two other unregistered animagi?"

"How did you-"

"I _saw_ you, _Prongs_!" she cried, "How could you be so stupid? So, so thoughtless! Do you have _any _idea how dangerous it is?"

"Yes, of course I do-"

"So you're admitting it, then?" she demanded, her eyes inexplicably filling with tears.

"Moony needs us-"

"Remus doesn't need his three best friends risking their lives every month just to keep him busy!" Lily exploded. "He is what he is, Potter, and you can't change that. No matter how strong your noble 'saving people' side is!"

"I'm not doing it 'cause it's noble - I'm doing it because he's my friend and he needs me!" James said, hurt that Lily thought of him in such an unflattering way.

"What about the students here? Do you really think they need three idiotic teenagers bringing a werewolf into the school to roam about the forest? How safe is that really?"

"We've never hurt anyone-" James protested.

"I don't think Dumbledore would see it that way-"

"You can't tell him, Lils! We haven't hurt anyone!" he said desperately.

"Not yet!" Lily cried, tears falling now. "But what about me, James?" her voice broke. "How do you think I feel, knowing that you've kept this from me all this time? All this lying-" she hiccupped. "And worse, to know that my boyfriend - the man I love - is risking his neck on a regular basis and I knew nothing about it. What if he'd hurt you? What if you'd gone missing in Hogsmeade and I wouldn't have known where you were. What if-" but her voice cracked and she couldn't carry on with her hypothetical rant. Her anger and disappointment, her hurt and her fears mixed together to make the Head Girl quite hysterical. One minute she had been yelling and threatening to tell Dumbledore about James' illegal actions, the next she was simply broken hearted by the thought of any harm coming to the same stupid boy.

"Lily, don't cry," James said in an anguished voice, stretching his arm out towards her and making to cross the room. The sharp stab of pain in his side reminded him of his injury, however, and he gasped slightly.

Through her tears, Lily looked to the side of James' torso that he seemed to be clutching, noticing for the first time that he was soaked in his own blood. Panic made her head spin for a minute, but she snatched up her wand and moved towards him.

"Please don't hex me, Lils. I'm not in the mood," James said weakly, holding up his spare hand in defeat and cringing slightly. Lily didn't reply, she just pointed her wand at him and muttered a spell that made the blood stop leaking from the wound.

James looked on in amazement at the slightly insane woman in front of him. She then proceeded to summon a bottle of essence of murtlap and gently pushed James down onto the edge of the couch. She undid his buttons (again, not in the way that they had previously been looking forward to) and peeled his shirt off his body, moping up the congealed blood on his torso with a damp sponge. She then performed a brief healing spell to knit the wound and dabbed on the murtlap, avoiding eye contact with James who occasionally winced in pain.

When she was done, she simply gathered her wand and healing products and returned to her dormitory, not once looking at James or speaking to him. Not even when he called her name.

_Oh dear_, James thought sadly, _This is not good._

_

* * *

_

_AN - AHHHH _don't hate me!!! it had to happen. Don't worry - all will be well. Be they can't be happy families all the time, can they?

I'm a bit sad because this story has been getting fewer and fewer reviews as time goes on and I think it's because people have lost interest because I forget to update regularly. But for those of you who have stuck around, I really appreciate the time you take to review (even if it is to tell me you hate what I've done to Remus and Anna lol or to suggest that I put in more Ginny/Harry and more Cat and Sirius - which is what I've set up for in this chappie)

It really means a lot to me that you do review :) as such, I dedicate this chapter to all faithful (re)viewers (lol Freya - like Dr Who with the commentary)  
and especially dedicate it to pluto-nfl because your story is great (and i will review it asap) and don't give up just because ppl are lazy - your work is great! keep it up :)

Also Merry Christmas/Happy holidays to you all and I wish you fanficcers the very best for the up and coming neew year!!! happy fanficcing :)


	45. April Fools

**Disclaimer**: Nope, still nothing

AN - Woo, first update for the year. And before I apologise for not updating, I must say that my laptop has kindly taken to blue-scree-of-death-ing on me AT LEAST 3 times a day! which makes it very difficult to write a fanfic - but I have persevered and here you go. Enjoy and please review :)

LAST TIME: Lily and James were going to have sex but then Lily found out about James' animagus status - there was a fight. That is all.

PS Lily may seem to be over-reacting, but please remember she is a fiery redhead. And James might seem dejected, but it's only because he loves Lily so much that he doesn't want to make her even more unhappy... it'll make sense when you read the chapter. Enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 44 - April Fools**

"Padfoot! Pads, are you there?" James called into his two-way mirror when he reached his bedroom. Panic was clouding his mind and he was beginning to feel faintly nauseated (which wasn't helped any by his now-healing stomach wound).

"SIRIUS!" he yelled in anguish. If anyone could help him with Lily, it would be Sirius. Although it had only been roughly twenty minutes since he had left Sirius behind in the Shack, he was sure that he would answer.

"Prongs? What's the emergency?" Sirius' face appeared.

"She knows!" James cried.

"What? Who knows what?" Sirius replied in befuddlement.

"Lily found out about us," James whispered, eyes wide.

"WHAT?!" Sirius yelled. "Prongs, what did you DO?"

"I didn't tell her - she worked it out!"

Sirius' face was no longer elegantly casual, but twisted with anger and worry as he replied. "Room of Requirement, five minutes." He disappeared from view.

_Great_, James thought, _My girlfriend won't speak to me and now my best friend is angry too. Moony and Wormtail probably will be as well. How could I be so careless? What does Moody say? CONSTANT VIGILANCE - I shouldn't have left the map… Or maybe I just should've trusted Lily and told her in the first place. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!_

And he hurried off to meet Sirius on the seventh floor.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary (Sat 28th March)**

There are no words.

…

Actually, there are. They go along the lines of STUPID, IDIOTIC, LYING, DANGEROUS, IDIOTIC, FOOLISH, IDIOTIC BOYFRIEND!

HOW could he be so bloody RECKLESS?

WHY didn't he tell me SOONER?

WHAT if he had gotten HURT? Actually, that one's not so important. He deserves a few good hexes for lying to me all these months.

WHY didn't I trust my instincts in the first place? I knew those Marauders were up to something. I mean, please, as if Sirius gets 'lonely' - why did I ever buy that in the first place?? And, I'm sorry, but favourite animals for nicknames? That should've tipped me off right away. As if Peter's favourite animal is a rat! BLOODY POTTER!

I don't know who I'm more angry at - him for lying or me for not guessing.

Him. Definitely him.

What hurts the most is it's like he didn't trust me.

It was different with Remus' secret. It was okay that he didn't tell me then - he didn't want to betray Lupin's trust as it 'wasn't his secret to tell'. But this was. Granted he wouldn't have been able to tell me about Black and Pettigrew but he could've told me about himself.

I know that he says he loves me, but what is a relationship without trust? I need to be able to trust that he can tell me the truth and the fact of the matter is I can't. Not now. How can I trust that he'll always be there for me when I need him, always be honest about what's bothering him or if he needs help? I can't.

And so, although I feel as though my chest is being ripped apart, I can't stay with James. Not any more.

* * *

When James opened the door to the Room of Requirement he was not surprised to see a very moody and upset-looking Sirius waiting for him. The room was plain - much like the interior of the Gryffindor common room only with no welcoming fire and less comfortable-looking furniture. James walked dejectedly across the floor and slumped down in the chair a little ways away from Sirius, eying the aristocrat anxiously. When the door shut magically behind James, Sirius launched into an all-out verbal assault.

"Prongs! How could you tell her? What happened to Marauders first? How did bloody Evans get to be worth risking our asses over? Matter of fact, we could all go to Azkaban for this if she blabs. And Moony - he'd get in trouble for being out of the Shack. Did you even think of that? Did you think of anyone other than yourself and Evans? Jesus, Prongs, you're supposed to be my best friend - how could you do that to me; to your friends?"

James just stared sadly at the floor; he said quietly, "It wasn't like that-"

"Wasn't like what? Like _what_, Prongs? I just don't get how you could betray me like that!"

"Like you betrayed Moony when you nearly got Snape killed?" James said in a quiet voice, his dead eyes meeting Sirius' shocked ones. He had finally stunned the boy into silence. "I didn't _tell_ _Lily_, okay? She figured it out _on her own_."

Sirius was still to hurt to ask how, so James answered his question. "She found the Map. I stupidly left it in our common room, she found it, followed us, put together the clues," he ran a weary hand through his hair. "It's my fault entirely. She already knew about Moony and she put two and two together."

"Is she going to tell Dumbledore?" Sirius asked, still avoiding eye contact.

"No. She won't."

"How do you know?" Sirius began anxiously, "She's always been a stickler-"

"She WON'T TELL!" James roared. There was a moment of silence between the two friends. Sirius sat back down and put his head in his hands.

"What about her friends? Do you reckon she'll tell Cat and Anna?"

"You may as well tell Cat. I know you trust her," James said quietly. Sirius could hear the pain in his voice.

"She can't hold it against you forever," Sirius said. "She loves you, remember?"

"I'm not so sure. You should have seen her face," he moaned, "I've never seen her so angry."

"It can't be worse than that time-"

"No, it was worse. She couldn't even talk to me. Wouldn't look at me," James said. There was more silence before James spoke again. "Go tell Cat. It's better she hears this from you and not Lily."

"Thanks," Sirius said, subdued once more. "Don't worry," he repeated, "Things'll work out for you and Evans."

James just grunted noncommittally as Sirius moved out the door and silently down the corridor.

* * *

Lily was feeling more than a bit confused and upset - she felt more alone than she had ever felt before. Over the past years, and especially the past few months, she had come to rely on James far too much. She had used him as a shoulder to cry on, a person to complain to, a friend to laugh with - generally speaking he was more than just a boyfriend - he was an emotional crutch _especially_ during the times of increasing muggle attacks and Lily's further estrangement from Petunia.

She really needed to talk to someone, but she hadn't a clue who. Cat and Anna were out of the question given that one of them was unknowingly dating one of the animagi. She couldn't talk to Claire about it seeing as how she was not a close friend. She couldn't talk to Remus because a) he wouldn't understand and b) he'd take the side of his friends because of the danger they put themselves in just to help him out.

She was completely and utterly alone.

And it hurt.

So Lily did the only thing she could think of to order her thoughts - she wrote a letter.

* * *

James -

I don't know what to say. Only that I don't think we can keep going with this.

I don't want to repeat what I said before - that I can't believe you would do this; that I can't believe you would be so irresponsible, because I can. And I should've realised earlier. Because now it just hurts more.

You have been a big part of my life, especially this year, and I really thought I could rely on you to always be here for me. But I can't. You lied to me and I don't think that we can get past something like that. Not a lie this big.

It's not like you snuck off to Hogsmeade and didn't tell me. This is bigger. Azkaban big. Life-changing big.

I won't tell a soul about it - as you often like to say, it's not anyone else's secret to tell. And I respect that.

But in return I would ask that you do not try to change my mind. Do not try to talk to me in class. The only necessary contact we have is during Heads' duties and meetings. But we can't continue to see one another.

Don't think that it's because I don't have feelings for you, because I do. That's what hurts the most - I love you, James, but I don't _know_ you. Who _are _you?

So you understand why we can't be together anymore. Every time I'll look at you I'd wonder if there was something else you were keeping from me. Ever time you tell me something, I'd wonder if you were telling me the whole truth. That's not a relationship.

I'm so beyond anger. I'm hurt.

Please don't respond to this letter. We're over, James.

Sincerely,

Lily Evans

* * *

Lily felt big fat tears leaking out of her eyes as she signed her name. As much as she didn't want to be apart from James - the one constant in her life that she honestly felt she couldn't live without - she couldn't bring herself to look at him in the same way again. She didn't want him to have a chance to defend himself - to weaken her already shaky resolve - because she didn't want to settle for less than she deserved. Lily knew that she deserved to be loved by someone who she could trust completely and who could trust her and unfortunately James was not that someone. She tied the letter to Gemini's leg and sent the owl on her way, before collapsing completely and letting her body be wracked by great heaving sobs as she remembered what she and James had been planning only hours before. How quickly things changed…

* * *

"Cat? Cat!" Sirius bellowed up the Gryffindor girls' staircase. He wished now more than anything that he had his broom on him and could fly up to her window. "CAT!"

"What the hell? Sirius, what are you doing?" Cat hissed, poking her head out of the door. After all, it was getting quite late by this stage and the other girls were trying to sleep.

"Cat, I need to talk to you," Sirius said urgently.

"Now?" she whined.

"Yes! Come on, let's go somewhere," Sirius ordered, grabbing her wrist and dragging her along as soon as she was within reach.

"Where are we going?" Cat asked, pulling her dressing gown tightly across her skimpy pyjamas.

"Room of Requirement."

"Don't you think it's a bit late to be doing that?" Cat asked, marvelling at her boyfriend's seemingly insatiable sex-drive.

"No, I _actually_ need to talk to you. It's not about sex," Sirius said, breaking into a run now, as though he was afraid the Head Girl would swoop down upon them and tell Cat his secret before he'd have a chance.

He yanked the door open and strode into what appeared to be a forest clearing with a cushy couch in the middle.

"Cool room," Cat said with an appreciative nod, "So, what is it you wanted to talk about? If it's the April Fools' Day prank, then I really think it could've waited-"

"No, it's more important than the prank," Sirius interrupted, leading Cat over to the couch. She jokingly felt his forehead with the back of her hand.

"Are you feeling okay?" she grinned.

"No, not really," Sirius muttered.

"What's up?" Cat said, sobering up and fixing the seeker with a shrewd stare. "Is this about Regulus? Has he been giving you grief? Or is it about what's going to happen when we finish Hogwarts, 'cause I thought we were both going to-"

"No, it's neither of those things," Sirius said, running his hand through his silky hair in a very James-like manner. "It's about me and the guys."

"Are they okay? Is one of you hurt?" Cat asked.

"Huh?" Sirius replied, blind-sided, "Why would you assume one of us is hurt?"

"Well, it's a full moon," Cat replied, gesturing at the ceiling which resembled the sky outside.

"And?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I don't think for one minute that you Marauders would leave your best friend to go through that sort of thing alone."

"What do you mean?"

"I just assumed you all probably put yourselves in danger on a regular basis for your friend. I just don't know how," Cat said, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, this simplifies things," Sirius said with a half smile. "What would you do if I told you I was an animagus?"

Cat's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

"Okay, so not as simplified as I had hoped," Sirius mumbled.

"Are you SERIOUS?"

Sirius just raised an eyebrow at her in what he hoped was a half challenging, half entertained expression.

"I can't believe it," Cat whispered, pulling her knees up to her chest, leaning her chin on her knee caps and staring intently at Sirius as though he might change at any moment.

"Well, I am an animagus. An illegal animagus, so don't go telling anyone-"

"And the others? Are they..?"

"Yes, James is a stag and Wormtail's a rat."

"And what are you?" Cat asked in awe. Sirius just smirked and moved lithely off the couch. He stood before Cat, who watched intently as he transfigured from the very handsome man standing before her into a large, black dog. Her eyes were wide as saucers as the animal before her gave a playful yelp and wagged it's tail enthusiastically.

"Oh, _wow_," Cat breathed, reaching out to pat the dog behind the ears. Padfoot simply came up onto his hind legs, placing a paw on either of Cat's shoulders and licking her face sloppily.

"Eww!" she wrinkled her nose, pushing the dog off her. "Get off, you great lump! I'm not into bestiality!"

Padfoot gave out a big barking laugh before transforming back into his human self.

"So, what do you think?" he asked proudly, relieved beyond words that he wasn't experiencing the same reaction as Prongs had with Lily.

"Un-bloody-believable!" Cat cried.

"We all managed it by about fourth or fifth year," Sirius explained, "Although Pete needed a bit more help."

"So this is how you all manage to keep Moony out of trouble during his transformations?" Cat asked.

"Well, yeah," Sirius said, slightly uncomfortably, "We sort of run around with him during the full moon. It stops him from turning on himself, you know? We're like distractions and guardians, I suppose."

"But I thought he wasn't allowed out of the Shack?"

"Well, technically not," Sirius began, "But we keep really close tabs on him, you know? We never let him out of our sight."

"That's still really dangerous, though," Cat said sternly. "One of you could get badly injured. Or he could attack someone out there."

"Yeah, that's what Lily got mad about," Sirius said sadly, feeling really bad for his friend's unfortunate predicament.

"Wait - Lily knows?" Cat asked.

"Yeah, she found out tonight."

"Did James tell her?"

"Nope, she worked it out and then confronted him."

"Uh oh," Cat said, biting her lip, "That wouldn't have gone down well."

"Too right it didn't. She's apparently not talking to him at the moment."

"I hope she gets over it. Anyone can see they're meant to be together," Cat said.

"So, you're not mad at me then?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"Mad? I think you're insane!" Cat cried. "Running around with a werewolf once a month! Not to mention you're unregistered! You could get chucked in Azkaban for this, you do know that, right?"

Sirius just sat there looking at Cat with his favourite puppy-dog expression.

"_Azkaban, Sirius!_" Cat said, frowning.

"Relax, Jones, we're not going to get caught and I'm _not_ going to Azkaban, I promise."

Cat exhaled a long breath.

"So… you're an unregistered animagus, then?" she said.

"Yes."

"And that's what you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes."

"And you wanted to see if I'd get mad?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay. Well, firstly, I'm not mad at you," Cat said with a smile, "I can understand why you wouldn't want anyone to know about this. I mean… _Azkaban_." Sirius just rolled his eyes. "And I suppose there's that whole loyalty to Moony thing," Cat reasoned, "So I can see where you're coming from. I just worry that you'll get hurt, is all."

"You shouldn't worry about that," Sirius said, sitting next to her on the couch and letting her lean against his chest. He stroked her shoulder softly, "I promise you there's nothing to worry about."

"Would you teach me?" Cat asked quietly.

"What?" Sirius asked, startled.

"Teach me how to become an animagus," Cat replied calmly.

"Are you crazy?" Sirius pulled away, "You want to become an animagus?"

"Yep," Cat replied, "And I'm not crazy."

"Are you sure? Because you were just telling me the dangers of being an unregistered animagus and now you want to become one?"

"Is it because it's a Marauder thing? Is that why you don't want to teach me?" Cat asked, a little bit hurt.

"No, not at all," Sirius hastened to correct Cat's assumption, "It's just it's a very dangerous process, teaching yourself."

"Well, you managed," Cat quipped, "Besides, I think it'd be good for us. Fewer secrets and all that, now that I know."

"Hmm, can I think about it?" Sirius asked, "I mean, I didn't mind it so much when it was just me and the blokes 'cause we were all at the same level. But I don't know what I'd do if this ended up hurting you or something."

"Don't even worry about it," Cat assured him, "If anything goes wrong we can just as easily put it right. And I'm a tough cookie, don't you forget it." Sirius grinned at her.

"That you are, Jones. That you are." And they proceeded to follow through with Cat's original suggestion as to what they should use the room for.

* * *

**James' Occlumency Diary**

I am an idiot. I just ruined what could've been the best night of my life because I was too gormless to tell Lily the truth.

Lily.

She told me in a letter that we're over. As in, back to the way we were before. As in, no more making her laugh, no more holding her while she cries, no more smiles, no more hugs, no more snogs, nothing.

Nothing.

I'm an idiot.

I think I'm going to go jump off Gryffindor tower now.

Goodbye sweet life, it was good while it lasted.

* * *

Of course, James didn't actually go up there to jump to his death, merely to contemplate the depth of his own idiocy. In fact, he was so utterly and thoroughly depressed that he stayed there the entire night, the following morning and the following night without moving. He didn't eat, nor did he sleep. It was on that cold parapet that Remus found him on the Sunday evening.

"Prongs? Are you up here?" he called gently - Remus always had been the tactful, good-with-emotions type.

"Eugh," James grunted in response. Remus came and sat next to him, a safe enough distance away that he wouldn't get pushed off the edge if he inadvertently said the wrong thing.

"James," he tried again, "You need to come inside."

"No," the quidditch captain replied shortly.

"You haven't eaten or slept in nearly two days, mate," Remus continued, "You need to stop moping now."

"Moping?" James repeated incredulously, turning to face his friend, "You think I'm _moping_?"

"I _know_ you're moping."

"You have the love of your life tell you that she loved you but can't anymore because you lied about something big and see if you feel like moping," James said in a rush, his red-rimmed eyes glaring through his glasses at his friend. Remus noticed the crumpled piece of parchment in James' hand.

"May I?" he asked. James looked back out over the grounds with glazed unseeing eyes and held his hand out to Remus, who scanned the note with a sympathetic expression. The werewolf sighed, and stowed the parchment back in his pocket.

"You still need to come back inside, James," he said quietly. "Lily will get over this, I promise you. She just needs time."

"Did you even _read _that letter?" James cried, "She doesn't want anything to do with me!"

"She's Evans - like you, she's prone to the dramatics. I mean, look at you. You've been up here for ages, deciding whether or not to jump off because your girlfriend wrote you a nasty letter."

"Ex-girlfriend," James corrected glumly, "And I wasn't going to jump. I'm just giving her the space she needs." His voice broke on the last word. Remus placed his large hand gently on James' shoulder.

"Come on mate, pull it together. It's the first of April on Wednesday, we have a prank to organise and students to terrorise. And we have a red-head to win back."

"But Moony, she doesn't want to hear from me-"

"She didn't mention the rest of us, though, did she?" Remus interrupted. Before James could respond, Remus used all his extra strength to heave his friend to his feet, "Come on, it's time you ate."

And with that the two of them trudged down the stairs and off to dinner.

* * *

_**Tuesday - History of Magic - Note Passing**_

**Sirius Black, **_Peter Pettigrew,_

_So, Padfoot, what are we going to do about April Fools this year?_

**I don't think we'll be doing anything, mate. Not the way Prongs is now.**

_I wish he could just snap out of it, already. It's breaking up the team._

**Wormtail, just because you've never understood true love doesn't mean it doesn't exist and doesn't hurt like hell when something goes wrong**

_Nah, I don't get that bit at all_

**Then shut your trap!**

_But why can't we do our annual prank? People are expecting it, you know!_

**We're all of age - we can't go around acting like juvenile gits for the rest of our lives, can we?**

_WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? You are the KING of juvenile! You live for petty pranks! What's going on?_

**Look, I'm just a little busy at the moment, Pete-**

_With you girlfriend! What happened to bros before hoes?_

**Firstly, don't snatch the parchment. Secondly, where did you hear that terrible catchphrase?? Off a muggle soap opera? Thirdly, Cat is in no way a hoe! You understand?**

_Yes_

**Good**

_.,._

**What?**

_So, that's a NO to the annual prank, right?_

* * *

"Lils, what's the deal with you and James?" Anna asked. It was the Tuesday night before April Fools' Day and it was the first meal that Anna had chosen to sit with her best friends instead of her boyfriend at the Ravenclaw table.

"Hmm?" Lily asked distractedly. She had been rearranging the mashed potatoes on her plate and was not particularly aware of anything going on around her. Since her anger had subsided she had felt nothing but numbness.

"You and James? You haven't sat together at any meals or in class since his birthday. Is everything okay?"  
Lily turned to her friend with tear-filled eyes.

"Oh, Lily, what happened? Was the sex really that bad?" Anna asked, blue eyes wide.

This made Lily give a teary chuckle. "Can I talk to you about this in private?" she asked. Anna nodded and followed her friend out of the hall. At the other end of the table Cat looked up from her discussion with Sirius on where they should go to practise and abruptly went to follow them. Sirius simply shrugged his shoulders and returned to his shepherd's pie, glad that he had Wormtail's company at least. James and Remus had taken to dining in the kitchens with the house elves.

Lily lead Anna and a jogging-to-catch-up Cat to an empty classroom on the first floor.

"So what is up with you two? Are you in a fight or something?" Anna probed with concern in her voice.

Lily tried to speak but an annoying lump had formed in her throat rendering her unable to make any noise other than a choked gurgle. She motioned for Cat to explain.

"Well, as it turns out, all the Marauders have a massive secret," she began, "Sirius said I could tell you, Anna," she added for Lily's benefit. "While Remus is transformed each month, the others take the forms of illegal animagi."

Anna's jaw dropped, "No WAY!"

"Yes way. And the problem is, James kept it a secret from Lily-"

"And what relationship is there without trust?" Lily interrupted violently. Anna winced a little at these words - after all, it was a lack of trust that had destroyed she and Remus.

"So, basically, you can't trust him and you broke up?" Anna summarised, head still reeling from the animagus news.

"Yes-"

"And now she's miserable," Cat interjected.

"I am n-"

"Don't insult our intelligence," Cat said brusquely, "You are mopey as anything. I don't see why - you were the one to drop him. It's not like you care, or anything." Lily let out a stifled sob.

"If you do care about him still, then why did you let him go over one fib?" Anna asked, hands on hips, "It's not good for you to make yourself unhappy."

"But I ju-just c-can't see h-him anym-more," Lily sobbed harder, "I d-don't kn-know if he's t-telling the tr-tru-uth to m-me."

"Lils, I hate to question your logic, you know I do," Cat said, "But you're being unreasonable. James is just as upset - probably more so - than you are."

"I heard he spent all weekend up on Gryffindor tower deciding whether to jump off it or not," Anna added, "Because he was upset over something."

"Oh, d-don't be rid-diculous," Lily replied, "James wouldn't-"

"Lily, he _loves you_. He's crazy in love with you. And now you won't even speak to him. How do you think that makes him feel?"

"How do you think it makes ME feel, knowing I've been LIED TO ever since FOREVER!" Lily cried back. Anna and Cat exchanged a glance - they knew how stubborn Lily could be and, although she was miserable, there was no way she'd be changing her mind tonight.

"Fine, but I think you should at least talk to him," Anna said, "Eventually."

Lily just wiped her eyes and muttered that she was going back upstairs to write an essay for Transfiguration. The girls bid her a goodnight and returned to their respective boyfriends, each guiltily comforted by the fact that their problems weren't as life-destroying as Lily's.

* * *

"How is it that their lives were so… so dramatic?" Harry wondered aloud. He and Ginny had woken the following morning, both very stiff but well rested, to find that they were nearing the end of Lily and James' notes (well, those pertaining to their final year at Hogwarts, at least). Having read both his mother and father's last entries, Harry was trying to picture a situation where he might be so fiercely depressed that he would go an entire day without food. Maybe nerves before a quidditch match or taking on Voldemort, but rarely had he and the love of _his_ life ever fought.

"Did it occur to you that maybe you're abnormal and that perhaps everyone around you has similar bizarre arguments like your parents did?" Ginny questioned. "I mean, remember Ron and Lav-Lav? And the whole debacle with him and Hermione?"

"Yeah, but we didn't talk about it all the time," Harry protested, looking mildly offended.

"_You_ might not have done, but Ron and Mione certainly did," Ginny said with a wistful smile.

"Do I even want to know?" Harry muttered, picking up a letter that appeared to be addressed from his grandad to his father.

* * *

James,

Sirius wrote - he's worried about you. He told me you and your Lily aren't talking.

It's not the end of the world.

I'm sure whatever you're fighting about will pass and she'll fall at your feet again. It's all in the Potter charm, son, remember that.

And don't let it distract you from your studies. I know you're sure you'll get the NEWTS you need to get into the advanced auror training programme, but you can't get complacent. As your father, I feel it my duty to remind you to focus on your studies. Although I know it's pretty much a futile mission - telling _you_ to focus. Speaking of which, have you and the boys planned your April Fools' Day trick yet?

I look forward to hearing all about it. Merlin knows we could use some laughter right now.

Apparently You-Know-Who has been sending letters of interest to students across Europe. Recruitment letters. I've written to Dumbledore and a few of our number are being stationed at the school to check mail and investigate any suspicious activity. I expect you will be informed of this shortly in a Heads' meeting or some such thing, but I thought it best you heard from me first. It's less of a shock, then, to know that your classmates and even your juniors are already being forced (or given the option) to join the wrong side in this war. Keep your eyes peeled, son, and take care of yourself.

And don't worry about Lily. Keep her safe and keep her close. Don't give up… and don't go jumping off any towers now (blame Remus - he wrote me as well).

Love,

Your exceedingly busy and exhausted Dad

Ps Your mail is going to be censored in all likelihood from now on, so be careful what you write because we might not be the only ones reading it.

* * *

James dragged his feet up to his and Lily's common room. He thought she wouldn't risk being in the same room as him and was probably taking refuge in the library or the privacy of her bedroom, so it was quite a shock when he walked in to see her sitting at one of the large desks near the window. At the sound of him entering, the scratching of her quill on parchment stopped but she did not look up. James seemed to be frozen in place, not having had any time to formulate a speech in his mind. He just stood looking at the girl he had not spoken to for days, taking in every detail. Her beautiful red hair curtaining her face from him, her small hand delicately gripping her quill - he wanted desperately to move closer, to look in at her eyes, but couldn't. Then she saved him the trouble, turning to look him straight in the eye. James had expected anger, maybe even sadness, but what he saw there shocked him. Nothing. He saw nothing. All the passion in Lily's eyes was gone, leaving her flat and empty. And somehow this hurt James all the more.

Without saying a word, he turned and headed up to his bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. Lily stared at the space where he had just been for what felt like an eternity. Then, knowing she couldn't possibly finish the essay, she slammed her book shut and dashed up her small staircase with the tears flowing quickly down her face.

The following morning was as uneventful as any other ordinary day of the year. You would not have been able to guess that it was the biggest pranking day on the social calendar due to the sea of glum faces sitting at breakfast that day. Even James, in his antisocial state, and Lily in her nearing-catatonic one, could sense a perceptible change as they separately entered the hall that morning.

Dumbledore motioned for his Head students to approach the staff table, a sad expression on his ancient-looking face.

"Miss Evans, Mister Potter," he said in a quiet voice, "It has been announced in the _Prophet_ today that several students at France's Beauxbatons Academy have received letters of… invitation," he grimaced as he said the word, "to join Voldemort's cause." He paused to look at the expressions on the faces of the teens. James looked stoic and resigned - as though he had known this would be coming. Lily, on the other hand, looked a little blank, considering the news she had just received. She had a concerned frown between her brows, but as Dumbledore probed her eyes he noticed a certain lack of… something.

"I expect that we will be the next school to be targeted," he continued, "And while we are having some more aurors brought in, I do not believe for one minute that their censorship will stop the Dark Lord's attempts to contact my students."

"What can we do?" James asked, and Lily winced a little at the sound of his voice, even though she knew deep down that this situation - the war - was more important than her irrational feelings when it came to James Potter.

"All I ask is that you be there for your fellow students. There is nothing we can do to stop the letters, really, all we can do is be prepared for the effect they may have. I will be conducting a Prefect meeting this evening, but you two are excused. Just keep your eyes open for any untoward activity and if you suspect any students to be considering the offer or any who are particularly shaken by these letters, send them directly to me. Do not even defer to Professor McGonagall. Do you understand?"

Lily and James nodded, so Dumbledore dismissed them and they returned to the Gryffindor table.

"Lily?" James asked suddenly, before she could get away. The red-head turned to look at him with her empty eyes. She nodded.

"Do you think, maybe, we could talk later?" he asked awkwardly, fiddling with the hole in his sleeve. Lily was about to say no and remind him of her no-talking policy, but she felt a strong tug in her stomach and the even stronger, more persistent ache in her chest and reconsidered. She nodded again. James nearly staggered with relief that she would at least hear him out.

"Umm, okay. In our common room after dinner?" he asked.

She nodded again, then returned to the end of the table, picked her book bag up and proceeded to Runes with Cat and Remus. James watched her go and felt a tiny, tiny flutter of hope in his chest.

* * *

"It was kinda weird going through an entire April Fools' Day without _one _prank from the infamous Marauders," Cat noted as she lazily trailed her hand over Sirius' chest which she was curled up into on a couch in the common room.

"Hmm, can't say I really noticed a difference," Sirius replied, kissing the top of Cat's head with equal laziness.

"Well, I did," Peter piped up from the next couch over, where he was trying to build an exploding snap tower with Remus. "It sucked."

"Come on, Pete, it wasn't that bad," Cat said.

"Maybe not for you, but you've got him," Peter replied, jerking his head at Sirius.

"Aww, Wormy, I never knew you felt that way," Sirius chuckled, his chest rumbling pleasantly against Cat's cheek.

"Moony's off with Claire in the library, James is moping over Lily," Peter continued to sigh, "It's like everyone has someone except for me."

"That's not true," Sirius tried, "You've got… err-"

"Exactly! Whatever happened to the Marauders, anyway?!" Peter cried suddenly and his deck of cards exploded in his face. Fuming (and smoking, slightly) Peter stormed out of the dormitory to aimlessly roam the halls of the school alone.

* * *

"Lily," James said softly. He could see her silhouetted against the window, looking out onto the grounds - he knew this was his one chance to explain himself and try and set things right between them before she could have a chance to shut him down. He walked over to stand a few paces behind her - he didn't want to push his luck.

"Lils, I know that me keeping that thing a secret was wrong, and I am so, _so_ sorry! If I could change it, I would. I would never have lied to you about that. It's just that, well, I wasn't sure how you'd take it and whether or not you'd ask about Sirius and Peter, and I knew I couldn't betray their secrets like that. It wouldn't be fair to them, you know? And, in the beginning, when you finally agreed to go out with me- no, even earlier than that, when we started being friends - I was worried that even the smallest thing would turn you off me. I didn't want to tempt fate by telling you that I was breaking the law - you wouldn't have given me another go. But, as time went on, I found myself falling more and more in love with you and I couldn't bring myself to tell you something that might jeopardise what we have. Please understand," he implored. "I couldn't bear to lose you. And now I have. And I've respected your wishes - I didn't try to talk to you for three whole days. But I can't keep away anymore - I just needed you to know _why_. Maybe now you can understand?" James paused again, trying to see if he was going to get a reaction out of her. "Lily? Do- do you see what I mean?" he begged. "I'm sorry. _Please_ forgive me. Just, just look at me?"

Lily turned to look at him and what James saw both broke his heart and brought him relief. It was a relief to see that her eyes were no longer empty, but he was pained to see the anguish in her eyes, her beautiful green eyes that were now bloodshot with tears. Her cheeks were splotchy and damp from crying.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," James repeated, finding it difficult to continue looking at her directly in the eye. He glanced down and noticed for the first time a piece of parchment that she was clutching to her chest. He glimpsed an empty envelope by her feet - it appeared to have a dark green seal on it. Like a skull, but with a serpent coming out of it's mouth…

Understanding and confusion flashed across his face as he looked back at Lily.

"James," she managed to sob, before she threw herself into his arms. James held her there, locked in his protective grip, until her sobbing subsided and he noticed a jet black owl sitting on the window frame with a similar envelope attached to its leg. An envelope with his own name on it.

* * *

AN - Dun dun dunnnnn.... what do you think? Lots of little bits in this chapter - lots of Cat and Sirius for those who requested it, and a little bit of Harry Ginny stuff, even though it's along the same lines as it always is - Harry being confused that his parents actually had emotions, and Ginny trying to reassure him.  
Please review if you have time and I will update sooner. I might even think to get my laptop checked for bugs so that it crashes less .... that would probably help.  
Any suggestions are also welcome if there's something you want to see happen.  
DEDICATION: to all my lovely fantastic wonderful reviewers - you clearly know who you are - but particularly to my sister, MrsRochester, who has been nagging me to dedicate it to her and to my wonderful friend, childforever, who is overseas in Europe at the moment (I am SOOOOO jealous) and whom I miss a heap. Hope you're having fun and don't forget that tardis postcard lol  
Thanks again for sticking with this story and please review :)

Til next time, Happy Fanficcing! :)

* * *


	46. Unwanted Invitations

**Disclaimer:** If I were JK and owned Harry Potter and his universe, then it wouldn't have taken me nearly a month to get my laptop repaired :(

**AN - **MY LAPTOP DIED!!! So before you hate on me for taking so long to update, take a moment to thank the computer gods for restoring my laptop to me... even though it took nearly a month! grrr....

**Last Time:** Lily found out about the James-animagus situation and dumped him. Cat asked Sirius to teach her how to be an animagus. There was an absence of April Fools' Day. Lily and James received letters from You-Know-Who....

**

* * *

**

Chapter 45 - Unwanted Invitations

James gently let go of Lily and reached across to read his letter with absolutely no doubt in his mind as to who it was from…

_James Potter, _

_What a slippery fish you have been. _

_To encounter and elude my Death Eaters once may have been chance, but on two occasions have you now thwarted their attempts to capture, torture and kill you. This is to be commended, James. A young and over-confident boy you may be, but Lord Voldemort does not leave those worthy of praise without the commendation that they are owed. _

_Congratulations._

_Although you are clearly in opposition of my cause, I have noticed that young peoples' minds are often malleable and changeable at your tender age. I have thus decided to invite you to join the winning side in this war; to give you the opportunity to use your talents as one of my supporters rather than one of my enemies._

_As I have said, not to notice your evident talent for survival and, indeed, prodigious (though, by no means, infallible) skill, would be a great oversight on my behalf. _

_I am not a forgiving man, James, and I was thoroughly displeased with your lack of respect the last time we met. Join me and I will forgive you your indiscretions. Fail to do so and I'm afraid that the next time we meet, you won't live to tell the tale. Better yet, fail to join me and I'll take a special interest in a particular auror, one David Harold Potter. It will be a shame to take away the life of a pure blood… but that won't stop me. Then again, I could always stay with my anti-muggle and mud born policy, with particular attention to a certain Lily Jane Evans who is potentially as talented and troublesome as yourself._

_I trust you will not make the wrong decision, James. _

_You will not need to reply to this letter. Perhaps we shall run into one another soon enough and I will learn of your decision then. _

_Until such a time, remember this letter, James, and remember that Lord Voldemort has given you the options and opportunity. _

* * *

James shuddered with disgust as he finished reading the letter. How could Voldemort even consider inviting him to join the Death Eaters?  
It was revolting, particularly when his own father was so instrumental in fighting against their side; when his own mother and sister had died at the hands of Voldemort. The supposed 'Dark Lord' must truly be insane if he ever thought James would accept such an offer. Even with the threats against his father and his Lily, James knew that he would never be pressured into doing anything that Voldemort would suggest.

He could feel the bile rising in his throat and turned quickly to vomit into the wastepaper basket at the foot of the writing desk.

"Sorry," he apologised quietly.

"What did it say?" Lily asked, her voice rough from crying.

"It doesn't matter," James replied, scrunching up the piece of parchment and hurling it into the fire. "Yours?"

"He threatened my family, James," she said, her voice breaking as she handed him her letter.

* * *

_Lily Evans,_

_Your sister's wedding was a splendid affair, was it not? It was a pity I did not receive an invitation. Strangely enough, I was preoccupied in London on the same evening and would have been unable to attend in any case. How is Petunia, nowadays? Still happy with that Vernon Dursley?_

_Yes, Lily, I know everything about you and your pathetic muggle family, from your father's Alzheimer's to your unexpected wealth. _

_But I digress._

_There is a purpose to this correspondence, let me assure you. _

_We have crossed paths on one memorable occasion, but you have managed to evade Death Eater capture twice during the past several months. You can have no doubt of my confusion and sense of intrigue when I realised this fact. After all, not all seventeen year old Hogwarts students can encounter my followers on numerous occasions and, not only survive but take down a few of my followers in the process. _

_You are to be congratulated. Particularly in light of your non-magical heritage. _

_It occurs to me that we are natural enemies, Lily Evans. My cause is dedicated to eradicating the wizarding world from muggles and from muggle-born witches and wizards. It is in my very nature to want to kill you. _

_However, Lord Voldemort must pay credit where credit is due. You are an extremely talented young woman. As I have mentioned, you have evaded me twice and along the way you managed to seriously threaten one of my most prominent followers (I'm sure you remember my Bellatrix - such passion in one so young…). This takes courage and exceptional skill. It seems to me that although you are of indecent birth, it would truly be a shame to spill your blood. So I am offering you a choice. _

_This is not an opportunity to join my ranks - not that I am foolish enough to think that you would accept - for that would be hypocritical in the extreme. No, I am requesting that in future you stay out of my way. Do not attempt to bring me down by participating in anything Albus Dumbledore may be planning - a type of resistance movement, I would imagine. Stay out of my way, Lily, and I will not pay a visit to your darling sister or your ignorant parents. _

_If you disregard this friendly advice it is, of course, no matter to me - you are just another muggle-born. However, the loss of talent such as yours is regrettable in any circumstance. Therefore, Lord Voldemort highly recommends that you take his advice. Not to do so would be foolish. _

* * *

"I didn't know that your parents had been asked to join the Death Eaters!" Ginny exclaimed incredulously.

"They were what?" came a voice from the doorway. Harry and Ginny both started at the sound of another voice, the latter pulling out her wand.

"Hey! Don't pull a wand on my girlfriend!" Ron ordered, appearing from behind a shocked Hermione and pushing his way into the room. "And what's this about You-Know-Who asking your parents to be Death Eaters?"

"What are you two doing here?" Harry asked, ignoring Ron's questions.

"We got your note that said you were coming here," Hermione explained, "But you've been gone for a few days now and so we just thought we'd come and check you're alright. We didn't know Ginny was here…" she trailed off.

"In fact, Mum reckons that you're staying with Loony Lovegood," Ron accused, "That's what you told all of us."

"I just wanted some alone time with Harry, that's all," Ginny said as Ron pulled a face and made a sort of strangled noise in the back of his throat at the suggestion of 'alone time'.

Sensing a sibling spat, Hermione interceded.

"So what have you found there?" she asked Harry, settling herself on the plush carpet on the floor and roughly pulling Ron down next to her.

"All these old notes and stuff," Harry replied.

"Apparently all the students had to keep Occlumency diaries to help protect their minds from Voldemort," Ginny explained, "Plus the Marauders and Lily all passed notes in class which we also found."

"There are random letters and photographs as well," Harry added quietly. "We've just been looking through; trying to piece together their lives from what they left behind."

There was a respectful sort of silence in the room for a brief moment before Ron cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Did you find out anything interesting?" Hermione asked politely.

"Well, Sirius was engaged for a while during seventh year to a girl called Cat. Remus had numerous girlfriends, one of whom dumped him because he was a werewolf and apparently Voldemort asked James to join the Death Eaters but, out of respect for her talent, asked Lily to stay out of his way so that he wouldn't be forced to kill her," Ginny said all in a rush.

"O-kaaay," Ron said. "Wait, Sirius was engaged?"

"It's a long story," Harry said with a grin, remembering his unique godfather.

"Do you mind..?" Hermione reached for a piece of parchment hesitantly.

"Go ahead," Harry replied, "We've looked at that pile already."

"Don't mind us, then," she replied, "We'll just stay, if that's alright. This isn't something you should go through alone."

Harry smiled appreciatively, but squeezed Ginny's hand just to remind her that he didn't think he was alone. Not at all.

* * *

"Really, though, Caradoc - what are you going to do after Hogwarts?"

Anna and her strapping Ravenclaw boyfriend were enjoying a quiet night up on the astronomy tower, making light conversation and occasionally kissing. It was the same night that James had decided to speak to Lily and apologise for his lying. It was, therefore, the night that they would receive their letters.

"You know I want to play for the Tornadoes!" Caradoc chided, shoving her gently with his shoulder, "Sky blue looks great on me."

"You are so full of it," Anna chuckled, nudging him back. She sighed, "I still have no idea what I want to do."

"Don't worry, you've still got time to figure it out," he reassured her. "Although, personally, I think you'd look great in a medi-witch outfit." Anna giggled again before putting a stop to their flirting by kissing her boyfriend thoroughly for about ten minutes.

When they pulled apart, slightly breathless, Anna rested her head on Caradoc's shoulder and sighed happily. Truthfully, this was the happiest she'd been in a long time. She had a boyfriend that she actually wanted to spend time with (and who was head over heels for her, of course), she had her friends again, her schoolwork wasn't too much of a strain on her and, most importantly, she had a world of options at her feet.

_Hmm, Medi-witch,_ she thought to herself, _I could do that… if I liked potions. Oh well, maybe I'll be a reporter and follow Caradoc about when he's touring the country with his quidditch team._

"What are you thinking about?" the boy in question asked.

"About how I'm going to write for the _Prophet_ and follow you when you tour with the Tornadoes," Anna said, letting more out that she had originally intended. But Caradoc just chuckled - his rumbling laugh a comforting sound to Anna - "Sure, Anna, whatever you say."

Anna was just about to protest when she saw something in the distance.

"What's that?" she asked, getting to her feet and moving to the edge of the parapet.

"It looks like, I dunno, a cloud?" Caradoc replied, walking to stand beside her. In the light of the waning moon, the couple could see a black mass advancing toward the school with amazing speed. It looked like a very thick, solid cloud.

"They're birds," Caradoc said suddenly, "But that's weird - that's more than the usual morning owls. And it's, what, ten o'clock at night? What's going on?"

"And they're all black. I don't even think they're all owls. Some of them look like crows," Anna said, brow furrowed.

"But who would send letters, via crows, to Hogwarts students…" he trailed off turning, horror struck, to face Anna.

"Voldemort," they said in unison.

"We have to tell Dumbledore," Caradoc said urgently, dragging Anna to the trapdoor.

"I know!" she cried, "What about all the students, though? I should tell Lily and James - they need to know, too."

"Okay, I'll find you later," Caradoc said, pulling Anna in for a quick kiss before hurrying off.

* * *

"You know, Claire, when I said 'let's go to the library' I didn't mean 'let's go snog each other senseless in the back shelves' I actually meant that we should study."

"I know that," Claire replied pulling away slightly so that she could better observe her boyfriend. "It's just lucky for you that I know better."

"Oh, really?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yep," she grinned, leaning in to whisper seductively in his ear, "Now shut up and kiss me, Remus."

_Can't argue with the lady,_ Remus thought to himself. The kiss began innocently enough, following the trend of what they had been doing for about the past half our, before Remus decided to step it up a notch. Growling softly in the back of his throat, Remus managed to push Claire up against a shelf of dusty tomes and pinned her there, one arm on the shelf, the other holding her body tightly against his. Claire, needless to say, had not been expecting this but was thrilled to the back teeth by the progress they were making. Sure, she had marketed herself as the forward Ravenclaw who was cute and studious, but deep down she was just a normal teenage girl who wanted to be kissed - and properly kissed - by the boy she liked.

"Remus," she gasped, out of breath, her body pressed completely against his. The boy in question just smiled wolfishly down at her. "Wow," she breathed, managing a small, stunned smile.

"I'm fairly sure that was the best kiss I've ever had," he grinned back at her.

"Ditto," she said faintly.

"I'm also quite certain-" he paused to softly kiss the hollow behind her earlobe, "That this is-" He trailed his lips over her jaw line, "A rather brilliant-" He kissed her neck, "Misuse-" He kissed it again, "Of the invisibility cloak," he finished, nipping lightly at the skin at the base of her throat.

Claire just sighed, her eyes shut in contentment. "James would probably approve," she smiled, opening her eyes.

"Sirius definitely would," Remus agreed, leaning down to kiss her again. Needless to say, Claire gave herself over to the kiss completely. Had she been thinking straight, she probably would've been embarrassed by the fact that her leg had hitched itself up around Remus' hip so that she could - for want of a better word - _grind_ her body against his. But, of course, the intensity and skill of his kissing left her unable to form coherent sentences, let alone remember common decencies.

The pair probably could've continued on for quite some time if not for a faint scratching coming from one of the windows. They pulled apart, each slightly breathless, looking around for the source of the noise. The library had been closed for at least fifteen minutes and they were both sure that Madame Pince had left which begged the question who, or what, was making those noises.

"_Lumos_," Remus said, adding to the flickering light of their single candle.

"It's a bird," Claire said, pointing to the window. "It seems to have a letter. But that's odd. It's not even breakfast time and it's definitely not an owl."

Remus simply wrenched the stubborn window open - a feat he was sure had never before been achieved - and let the mystery messenger into the room. The apparent kestrel circled the two once before dropping a letter at Remus' feet and zooming off. Claire closed the window and turned to face Remus. "Who's it from?" she asked curiously.

Remus looked up with a coldness in his eyes. "I have an idea," he replied, holding it up so that she could see the seal - it was the dark mark.

_

* * *

_

Remus Lupin,

_To get straight to the point, we know all about your Lycanthropy. In fact, one of my followers is the reason for you being the way you are. You've probably heard of him - Fenrir Greyback. Apparently you were a victim because he was insulted by your father. But who am I to tell you these things. It is not up to me to spread familial discord… although I do so enjoying. _

_I digress: Fenrir - I consider him to be an ally and wilful beneficiary but he is not among my Death Eaters._

_Now, while he is a savage man (well, savage being, really), he does have some quite interesting views on werewolves. 'Bite them young and raise them away from their parents' is his motto, I suppose. He is looking to raise an army of his own in the hopes that someday they will overthrow the wizarding world. _

_Lord Voldemort, personally, does not believe this will ever happen. I do believe, however, that werewolves will be a powerful ally during the coming war and thus I extend my invitation to you to join the stronger side in this war. You would, of course, be required to 'recruit' on our behalf, but I should imagine that during a full moon your more animal side wouldn't exactly object, now, would it?_

_Besides, our side can offer you all sorts of benefits. _

_I have it on good authority that as a werewolf you are faced with much prejudice and hardship. Now, that hardly seems fair, does it? How will you secure a job outside Hogwarts if people are too frightened to hire you? We can offer you a freedom from this hardship. As long as you are with us, you will face no bigoted discrimination in the workplace. This we can guarantee. Wouldn't it be nice to have the security and the opportunity that your peers just take for granted? Wouldn't it be nice to be treated as a normal wizard for a change, instead of the mixed-breed that you are?_

_I have my concerns that if you fail to support Lord Voldemort's cause, and go the way of your ingrate friend - Sirius Black - the consequences will be inescapable. Not only will I ensure that it is impossible for you to find work, but I might just put an end to your long-suffering family. Finish what Greyback began all those years ago._

_You're an intelligent boy, Remus Lupin. I trust you will not make the wrong decision. _

* * *

"Knight to E5."

"Aww, come on! That's not even fair!"

"Sirius, you had your chance to check me but you took my pawn instead. It serves you right for being such a softie!"

"Well maybe you had better be a bit nicer to the guy you claim to love."

"Or else?"

"Guys, get a room!" Peter exclaimed as Sirius attacked Cat's lips with his own. "Some of us enjoyed dinner and don't want to see it come back up."

"Oh, go play with a mouse trap," Sirius said irritably - after all, he had just lost his most vital castle in the intense game of wizards chess.

"Or you could go find Remus," Cat amended, not wanting to hurt Peter's feelings like Sirius did, "He might be doing something interesting."

"Quit trying to get rid of me. The common room is a public place. You two shouldn't be snogging in public places - there are children around!"

"Says you!" Sirius exclaimed, forgetting all about the chess for the time being. "Am I going to have to remind you of the Agatha incident at that quidditch party?"

Peter just groaned - he had had this one used against him one too many times.

"There you were, practically eating her face, and you go and crash into a table full of empty bottles, smashing everything and leaving a god-awful mess for the rest of us to clean up!"

"Black, as I recall, _I_ was the one who did all the cleaning up," Cat pointed out.

"Well, yeah… but that's not the point, is it?"

Cat just rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Padfoot, you can't use that against me forever," Peter whined.

"Sure I can. I can do what I like," Sirius replied petulantly.

"You're such a prat," Peter mumbled, leaving to go sit by the window.

"Good one, Black," Cat muttered.

"I know," Sirius replied with a grin, leaning in for another kiss.

"I was being sarcastic, you great lump," she protested, pushing him back on the couch.

"Oh-sarcastic-one, may I please kiss you now?" Sirius persisted.

"Meet my family."

"What?" Sirius pulled back, completely blind-sided.

"Meet my family," Cat repeated, "Well, my mum and brother, that is."

"But… why?" Sirius asked. "I mean, I've seen your mum at functions and things. And we played quidditch with your brother just last holidays at James' house. I've technically already met them."

"Sirius, you know what I mean. I want you to meet my family as my boyfriend," Cat said softly. "It's really important to me."

Sirius sighed and ran a weary hand through his hair.

"It's really not that difficult," Cat continued, "One appearance at one dinner wouldn't kill you."

Sirius' continued silence began to worry her. "Look, if you don't want to officially be my boyfriend, you've kinda been going the wrong way about it. I mean, we nearly got married, for Merlin's sake!"

"No, Catherine," Sirius interrupted, surprising the girl by using her full name, "It's not that. It's just-" He sighed again. "It's just that I can never take you to meet _my _family. I don't even really have a family."

Cat's heart just about broke when she saw the dejected expression on his handsome face.

"That's not true. You've got the Potters. And I've already met them, so it's not a big deal," Cat joked. This at least got a small smile out of the boy. "If you need a little time, that's okay. I just want my mum to meet you while we have the chance. Life's a bit unpredictable, you know?"

"Unpredictable, yeah, that's the word," he smiled. "Those bloody Death Eaters! I can't wait until we're out of this place and can do something to properly stop them."

"Uhh, I'm going to go see Agatha," Peter said, returning from his window seat and then rushing out through the portrait hole.

"Way to interrupt a private moment, Wormtail," Cat said to his back.

Sirius barked, "Ha! You called him Wormtail!"

"Well, I am dating a Marauder. There are benefits," Cat replied, kissing her boyfriend chastely on the cheek. They then sat still for a moment, just enjoying the silence (even though, by rights, they _should_ have been studying for their impending exams), before Sirius spoke again.

"Really, though. I can't wait till we get to do something _real_ to put a stop to all this prejudiced crap."

"And what makes you think it'll be easier once we leave Hogwarts?"

"Have you heard of The Order of the Phoenix?" Sirius asked in hushed tones. Cat nodded.

"Yeah. After Dad… Well, Dumbledore told me that my uncle and my dad had both been members. Dumbledore thinks that's why they were targeted."

"Oh," Sirius replied sadly, "Sorry I brought it up-"

"It's okay," Cat interrupted, fixing him with a blazing look, "I understand. And I want to join, too."

Sirius' face broke into a dazzling grin - the one he reserved for when he was truly excited or happy.

"We'll fight together," he said strongly, "And we'll win…Hey, where'd Wormtail go?"

"He just left to see Agatha," Cat said exasperatedly, reaching up to tangle her fingers through Sirius' hair.

"But isn't she a Gryffindor?" Sirius asked with a frown. Cat was about to respond when there came a loud screeching from the window nearest them.

"It's a little late for the post," Sirius muttered as he got up to let the bird in. Strangely enough, though, there were at least fifteen birds - not all of which were owls - that flew into the common room, each seeking out the recipient of its respective letter before swooping dramatically from the room. Sirius watched as the handful of students who had been sent letters opened them with puzzled expressions. He watched as their expressions turned from puzzlement to horror. His eyes then turned slowly to rest on his girlfriend who was reading her letter with a look of disgust growing on her face.

"Cat? Who is it from? What's it all about?" Sirius asked. To his surprise Cat abruptly tore through the middle of the letter, then tore the parchment into quarters and threw them in the nearby fire. This confirmed Sirius' suspicion - those letters had been from Voldemort after all. Recruitment letters - just as James' father had warned.

"Did he honestly think that _I_ would join _him_?!" Cat cried loudly. "He murdered my father and my uncle! What could possibly persuade me to align myself with such… such-!"

"I know," Sirius said in what he hoped was a soothing voice, "It'll be okay."

"He threatened my family again. Said that if I didn't join him then my family would suffer. But what more can he do? They have the protection of the Order and soon we'll join and help protect them and fight Voldemort."

"Are you sure you-"

"Sirius, I'm fine," Cat snapped, "I'm not scared or anything. I'm just angry that he had the nerve to ask. At least he didn't make the mistake of asking you."

"Humph," Sirius replied, "I'll bet he's already got Regulus working for him, though. The stupid kid. He's not going to realise that he's made the wrong decision until it gets too much for him, he chickens out and they get rid of him." He sighed heavily, "Voldemort didn't ask me to join because he already has the only thing that I'd fight to save. Well, apart from you, of course," he tried to sound joking… and failed. Cat simply threw herself into Sirius' arms - to comfort both of them.

They stayed like that, wrapped in one another's arms, for a long while.

* * *

James finished reading Voldemort's letter to Lily, a true thrill of dread slipping down his spine.

"Lily, I promise you, he will never touch your family-" James began, trying to convince the both of them.

"Do you think he's sent them to the rest of the school as well?" Lily asked, looking up at him with her business-like I'm-in-head-girl-mode-now expression. Though she looked vulnerable and defeated with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them protectively, James could see the defiant look in her eyes. He held back a small smirk - Voldemort didn't know what he was doing trying to mess with this girl.

"Probably," James nodded, "But Dumbledore must know by now. The extra aurors are still here - their dark detectors would've picked up on the letters even if they were unable to stop them getting through."

"Still, we should probably go and see what we could do to help," Lily said, getting to her feet and hastily wiping at the mascara smudges under her eyes.

"And tell him that we were targeted personally," James said. "Especially considering that your family were mentioned."

"Do you think the others will be generic messages?" Lily asked, walking past him toward the portrait hole.

"Most of them. After all, Voldemort's trying to run a nation-wide, if not global, uprising. I doubt he's got the time to personalise every single message."

"Hmm," Lily considered as they made their way towards the gargoyle-guarded staircase. There was a pensive silence between the two of them for almost the entire journey. It was only as they were rounding the corner into the corridor where Dumbledore's office was located that James remembered what he had originally intended to discuss with Lily.

"Lils?" he said suddenly, stopping in the middle of the corridor. It took Lily a moment to realise James had stopped walking and ,consequently, when she turned to face him realised that there were several paces between them. "About before…" he sighed and characteristically ran a hand through his messy hair. "I just… I know it's not the best time. I know we've both got a lot to be thinking about right now. But I want you to know… I meant what I said before. About being sorry about the lying and that. I really am. But I don't want to take advantage when you've got so much to worry about. So I understand if before, when we were hugging before I read your letter - you know? Well, I understand if you let me because you just needed someone. I get that it doesn't mean you've forgiven me-"

"James, don't be such an idiot," Lily said, and James realised that while he had been looking at the floor she had come forward to stand before him.

"Huh?" James began, but was silenced by Lily's lips pressing forcefully on his, her hands on either side of his face. Responding immediately, he wrapped his arms around her waist intending to draw her closer to him, but she was already pressing her body flush against his. The intensity of the kiss startled James and - although he was thoroughly enjoying the moment - he pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Lily, I don't want to take advantage-"

"I miss you," Lily said, still holding his face in her hands and gazing into his eyes earnestly. "I know you're sorry and I forgive you. I stand by what I did, but I can't do it anymore. I _need_ you."

In spite of the potentially disastrous situation with the letters, James couldn't help the wave of relief and euphoria that swept over him. He simply crushed Lily to his body in a tight hug that she returned just as enthusiastically. They remained there for about a minute, James with a protective hand cradling her head, when-

"Evans, Potter! Anna just went to get you guys."

"Caradoc?" Lily asked, not bothering to extricate herself from James' embrace. "What are you doing here?"

"The letters from You-Know-Who that Dumbledore told us about in the last prefect meeting: Anna and I think they've just been delivered."

"We know," James said, pulling out the two letters with the Dark Lord's seal on them.

"You were invited?" Caradoc asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, sort of. Anyway, we were about to see Dumbledore. Clearly they got through the aurors."

"That's a worry. We don't know what else could possibly have gotten through," the Ravenclaw mused.

"Let's get a move on," Lily interrupted their brainstorm - there wasn't a moment to waste.

"Liquorice wand," James said, pulling Lily onto the moving staircase behind him. "Coming?" he asked Caradoc, who nodded and followed them upwards.

"Come in," came Dumbledore's voice through the thick wooden door. James led the way, holding onto Lily's hand tightly.

Dumbledore was sitting, serene as ever, in the wing-backed headmaster's chair behind his large desk. He was, however, flanked on either side by two strangers. The one on the right was a young woman with straight blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, neat purple robes and a friendly smile. On the left was a slightly older man - perhaps in his mid-thirties - with short brown hair and a worn expression.

"Miss Evans, Mister Potter, Mister Dearborn, allow me to introduce you to the Ministry's finest," he gestured to the two people beside him. "Ms Figg and Mr Vance."

"Lucy, Ben," James said, stepping forward, "Is my father here?"

"He's still in London with Artemis," the woman named Lucy replied kindly. "He said he'd send word as soon as possible."

"We're here about the letters, Professor," Lily spoke up, stepping forwards to stand beside James.

"Anna and I were on the Astronomy tower when we saw a mass of birds delivering letters," Caradoc contributed. "We estimate at least one hundred owls."

"I take it you guys failed to stop them," James questioned, eyebrow raised. Lily shoved him discretely in the ribs for being so rude.

"There was only so much we could do. There sheer magnitude of it," Ben said tiredly. "We have been waiting for them but we weren't expecting quite so many or at such an hour."

"And our increased protective charms couldn't keep them out," Lucy added. "Advanced shield charms; banishment spells; we even tried to summon them to stop them from getting to the students. Nothing worked."

"I think we can all accept that the letters were not to be prevented," Dumbledore interrupted smoothly, seeking to dispel any sort of unrest.

Although James knew the aurors in the office - and was probably on quite friendly terms with them under normal circumstances - he was inclined to let his mouth run away with him when he thought people were in the wrong (or, in this case, not trying hard enough). "Let us now focus on what can be done. Mister Dearborn?"

Caradoc had been looking as though he had something important to say.

"I think the main issue here is that the students will have been shocked by the letters. We prefects and head students knew that this was coming, but the majority of the student body did not. You-Know-Who has all manner of weapons at his disposal - the power of threats to people and their families, an intimate knowledge of what scares not only masses of people, but the individuals. In sending these letters he has made sure to isolate people-"

"It's true," James interrupted, passing his and Lily's letters to Dumbledore who eyed them with disdainful interest, "They seem to be quite personal."

"The thing we need to do now is stop the fear from spreading," Caradoc persisted. "We need to make sure that the students don't see the threats in the letters as real so that they aren't tempted to give in to You-Know-Who's demands. We also have to make sure that those to which he has offered rewards, such as power, safety, and wealth, do not give in to their greed."

"Caradoc's right. We need to deal with this quickly before they have a chance to consider Voldemort's offer," Lily agreed.

"What do you suggest?" Dumbledore asked leaning forward in his chair. The aurors seemed to have been forgotten - after all, this was not really their territory. They had failed to do their job and now had to take a backseat while the ensuing problem was managed.

"Perhaps an assembly of students involved?" Lily suggested. "To give them an overview of the situation - let them know that they aren't alone."

"That's a good idea, Lily, but don't you think that everyone should be involved?" James asked. "Otherwise rumours will spread throughout the rest of the school and people might be pressured by those who aren't in the same situation because of misinformation."

"James makes a good point, but I also see the value in a more individual approach," Dumbledore said, steepling his fingers together in thought and peering over his half moon spectacles at them. "Mister Dearborn?"

"I think the both of them would work, sir," Caradoc replied. "Perhaps an assembly with the entire school. Then ask those who received letters to stay behind afterwards and give them all an allocated time to come and see you about it."

"That sounds like an excellent suggestion," Dumbledore said, pleased. "Now, I've already sent the individual Heads of House to their respective common rooms to calm down the students and to give instruction to the prefects. I would be very much obliged if you could pass on the message of our plan of action to them and, of course, try to help in any way that you can. Caradoc will obviously take care of Ravenclaw; Lily and James to Gryffindor; Lucy to Hufflepuff and Ben to Slytherin."

"Thanks, Albus," he muttered sarcastically on his way out.

* * *

The following morning saw all classes cancelled. After breakfast in the Great Hall, the tables were transported to the edges of the room and the space was filled with comfy-looking pink beanbags and pillows.

"Dumbledore sure is wacky," Sirius mumbled under his breath, eyeing his beanbag with disdain before changing it's colour to a deep crimson. "Ah, much better," he said, flopping into it. Lily just rolled her eyes and leant closer into James' protective arm. They had not been apart since receiving the letters - they had even slept together in James' bed just to avoid being alone. It wasn't so much the fact that they had both been threatened by the greatest dark wizard in a century or the fact that his letters had breached security. Rather it was because they had spent more than enough time apart over the past week and didn't want to waste another moment. Lily was really regretting trying to stay away from James. She stuck by her initial anger and disappointment - she would not be lied to again - but she acknowledged now that she truly needed James around. The l-word was nothing compared to how she felt about him.

While the rest of the school took their sweet time settling in, the small group of friends discussed that which they had run out of time to discuss the previous night.

"So that makes four of us who got the letters, then?" Lily asked.

"Five. I got one, too," Caradoc said. "I found it on my bed in the dorms when I got back."

"I feel a bit left out," Sirius joked, trying to lighten the mood. Anna just threw a spare pillow at him.

"Don't be such a prat. It's a good thing we weren't asked," she said.

"I suppose so," Claire agreed, "At least we won't be targeted."

"Thanks, sweetie," Remus said sarcastically, "That makes me feel so much better."

"Don't worry about it, mate," James said strongly, "We've got more aurors than ever here. We're safe. And when we graduate at the end of the year-"

"I'll have no job to go to," Remus finished with a sag of the shoulders.

"You'll get a job, Remus. They'd be mad not to hire you," Lily said comfortingly.

"And I believe what Prongs was going to say is that after we finish here, we'll join the Order and fight properly against You-Know-Who."

"Definitely," Cat said in a hard voice. This effectively silenced the group, for everyone knew how much Cat had recently lost to Voldemort and his followers. It wasn't a noticeable silence, however, for at that moment, Dumbledore raised his hands to begin his speech, which he did so without so much as a preamble.

"As I am sure you are all aware, a number of our students last night received letters from the wizard who calls himself Voldemort." There was a collective shudder that ran through the room at the mention of his name. "These letters pertain to the two sides in the current war. His side, that of Death Eaters, muggle torture and bloodshed, and the other side of peace, equality and harmony. The purpose of these letters was, we believe, to recruit as many of you as possible to join the dark side - that is to say, Lord Voldemort's side - in the war." A murmur ran through the crowd again.

"He has offered these students protection from suffering and pain. He has offered them great rewards for supporting him. He has played upon basic fears, needs and desires to try to have his way. I urge you, _do not be fooled_. It is true, the Dark Lord has many powers at his disposal. Do not be threatened or tempted by them, as his alliances are only formed to serve him and will terminate as soon as he ceases to benefit from them."

He paused to give the students a probing look. Lily could feel his x-ray eyes scanning hers briefly as they made their way over the room full of students. Dumbledore made to speak again.

"If you wish to join that side in the war I am, of course, powerless to stop you.. But know that you are making a decision that will ultimately end in unhappiness and suffering. Anyone who aligns themselves with Lord Voldemort will have to face the consequences later on."

"Yeah, like death," Sirius mumbled, thinking about his brother's stupid mistake. Cat placed a soothing hand over his as the Headmaster continued with his speech.

"We have reached the time, students, where you must decide between what is right and what is easy. I have faith that you will choose what is right." He paused, his eyes sweeping the floor once more.

"On a related note, we will now have more Ministry aurors placed at the school entrances and around the grounds. Please respect them and any requests they may make of you as they are only here to ensure your safety and protection. I trust that you will treat them with all due deference. I would now like to introduce Miss Lucy Figg and Mr Ben Vance who are leading professionals in their field."

There was a polite round of applause as the two aurors approached the podium.

"It is our job as Ministry aurors to try to ensure the protection of the peace and the safety of witches and wizards from harm," Ben began. "We've been posted here because as the youth of today you are clearly targets for not only recruitment but extermination, as you may pose a rebellious threat to the Dark Lord's uprising."

"If anyone has any additional information about anything related to this issue, we need you to come forward and tell us. Your knowledge may be key in stopping the unmitigated violence and terror that this war has caused," Lucy added. "We understand your fear and uncertainty but be reassured in the knowledge that by helping the Ministry you are helping your country, your families and your peers."

"We will do all we can to keep you safe, but we need your help," Ben finished.

"Thank you," Dumbledore said to the two as they returned to sit at the staff table. "Students who received letters last night are to remain here for a quick debriefing of the night's events and to be allocated a timeslot when you can come to talk with me about your options. If you do not fall into this category, you may return to your common rooms until lunch, by which time the aurors will have had the opportunity to thoroughly search the grounds and castle for further security breaches. All classes are cancelled for the day-" Lily groaned quietly in disappointment - "So please make the most of your time to be with your friends or to study - particularly OWL and NEWT students. That is all." And with one final gesture of his hands, Dumbledore dismissed the student body. No one noticed Peter Pettigrew as he slipped silently away from his friends…

"Well, I suppose we'll see you lot later, then," Sirius said as he, Claire and Anna headed for the doors.

"Maybe," Lily replied, "_I'm_ going to be studying."

"Have fun with that, Lilykins. _I'm_ going to be playing exploding snap," Sirius replied with a wink, leaving the five reluctant invitees behind.

The intervening half hour was dull and painful. Dumbledore, Lucy and Ben addressed the different methods of coercion that Voldemort was prone to make use of ie family threats, financial threats, personal secrets, offers of power, offers of personal gain, etcetera.  
Lily found herself tuning out slightly - it had all become a bit much, really, and she was sick of talking about it. All she really wanted to know was that her family would be safe and neither Dumbledore, nor the Ministry, nor James could guarantee that. She decided that she would just have to wait a week - until the Easter break - to visit her parents and set up as many protective shields as possible. She knew they wouldn't stand a chance against Voldemort, but her charm work rivalled most adult wizards and she was confident that she could thwart a few insignificant Death Eaters.

James was likewise tuned out, but his thoughts were on a less productive line of thinking than Lily's. Mostly he was thinking about the up and coming four-day Easter break which he could spend away from Hogwarts. He had already written to his father in regards to the 'invitation' and had thus warned him to be 'extra careful' (if that were even possible), but he had the very strong urge to just _see_ him with his own eyes. To confirm that he was really okay. And also because he missed his father who was, after all, the only family had left. But James had a problem. He did not, for one minute, want to be separated from Lily. He had never been a clingy person but ever since the letter he just had a horrible feeling that if she was hurt it would be his fault for not being there for her. He had thus resolved to invite her back to his house (the Potter mansion, that is) for the Easter break.

Little did Sirius know that Cat was having similar thoughts about him meeting _her _family during the up-and-coming holidays. Caradoc and Anna, on the other hand, had agreed to stay at Hogwarts with the aurors and each other, as it was in their best interests. Remus wasn't one hundred percent sure of his plans and hadn't really spoken to Claire about it, although it had crossed his mind that it would be lovely to be able to share a bedroom with her…

"The schedule is on the door," Dumbledore concluded, "So please sign your name next to an appropriate time. And remember that you are not alone in this. We are all here to help you make the right decision."  
With that the students stood and made their way towards the list, some with puffy eyes from crying, others with stoic expressions on their faces. Remus, Caradoc and Cat walked a bit ahead of Lily and James, reminding them that they were perhaps the luckiest ones to go through this because they had each other.

* * *

AN - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! if you have time :) it's been just over a year since i started posting this story and I'm really thankful to all you lovelies who take the time to review and keep me motivated to write. I think I've got about 3 or 4 chapters left in this one, so stay tuned. Now that my laptop is sort of working again (it still freezes frequently) I will try to get out the next chapter in a week! i promise!

**Dedications:** I nearly forgot to dedicate this chapter to some very special reviewers:  
- Splatteredpaint: SO SORRY I think I missed your birthday but consider this your belated birthday present :)  
- Bluelime (Rowan): Because I can't absolutely sympathise with the whole laptop-dying experience - it sucks! i hope you're still reading this even though it's taken me FOREVER to get out!  
- Mrs Rotchester (my little sister, awww): Because she's back at school and I'm not and I feel bad for all the teasing I've been doing. Also, I was apparently not supposed to say that she was nagging me to post chapters - sorry G :P  
- Pluto-nfl: Because I always love your long and thoughtful reviews :)  
- em38: For your helpful suggestions on what to do with this fic lol - I incorporated some stuff so all credit to you :)  
- Kira2667: For keeping me writing under the threat of pitchfork-bearing fanficcers :P that made me laugh.... and made me a little frightened :P  
- JustSuperNMeNuncle: Because of your lovely, positive and long review - i muchly appreciate it!  
- LiliaGryffindor'sHeir376: Because I appreciate your lovely reviews and cyber cupcakes (and your new picture of a cupcake) and the beautiful concept of a 'Voldy-vite'  
- Childforever (Freya!) : Because I STILL haven't reviewed your latest chapter when you've reviewed mine and because I missed you when you were in Europe and also because you weren't at dancing ALL LAST WEEK grrr... but thanks for being a wonderful friend :)

and also to the following people whose reviews always make me smile:  
moonlight-pixy, bzb, Ziria NightRose, maybegirl, I'm not your princess, .fire, lilyfan06, Rivan Warrioress, iloooovesiriusnjp(tu me manques, mon amie!), x-I run with Wolves-x, Magical Singer Gal, TheRugMaster, be-loved-and-loved-in-return, Jess-is-Forever-in-Twilight., chocolate-kiosk (let's have a dr who day again!), Shape-Shifter Steph, Love-Pink26, cookiedoughYUM, Lily Lipsky, Fire of Thine Eyes, Blue-Eyed Chica, magicalrose, RhiannonAmidala.

I hope the long list of dedications doesn't devalue them in anyway because I truly just want you all to know how much your support and reviews mean to me... and if i'm rambling it's because it's 4.38am and i'm a little sleep deprived. But thank you so much (and also i made this chapter longer than usual to make up for my prolonged absence, just fyi :P)

Thanks again and stay tuned for updates:

**NEXT TIME: **Easter Holidays; the couples will meet one anothers' families; Impending NEWTs - it's all happening. Any requests are welcome :)

Till then, Happy Fanficcing :)


	47. The Easter Break

**Disclaimer: **If I were JK and owned Harry and his associated universe, it wouldn't take me nearly so long to update... or would it?

AN - SORRY! I just started uni and i'm so tired and busy and it's yuck and i want to go back to school and write fanfic in my spares. but that is not an option. sorry for the delay!  
Also, this chapter covers every couple and is longer than any other chapter (over 10 000 words) to make up for the wait. It's not the best - mostly a filler chapter, but the good stuff is coming. You'll see what I mean at the end. Happy fanficcing and please review :)

* * *

PREVIOUSLY: Our heros recieved letters from Voldemort (also known as voldy-vites); Lily and James made up.

**Chapter 46 - The Easter Break**

One week following the delivery of those awful letters and things at Hogwarts had barely changed at all. To the outside observer, that is. Inside the castle walls, however, was another story. The entire atmosphere of the school had been irrevocably altered. The usually energetic, loud Hogwarts grapevine had become an intensely suspicious game of Chinese whispers - nobody trusted anyone anymore. The students had become paranoid about who had been asked to join Voldemort, why they had been asked and if, in fact, they had accepted the offer. Despite Dumbledore's personal intervention and assistance, those who had been sent letters had become withdrawn and distant from their friends. It was a good thing that the Easter break was at the end of the week - the students would be able to escape all the whispers and finger-pointing.

* * *

**Defence Against the Dark Arts - Notes**

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Cat,** _**Anna. **_

Hey, Lils? Want to come back to mine over the Easter break?

**You're asking Evans to stay over?**

Pads, that message wasn't meant for you!

**I know! Clearly you are going behind my back to replace me! You've got your Lilykins so you don't need me! After everything we've been through together, Prongs, how could you do this to me?!**

_You just told us at breakfast that you were spending Easter with Cat…_

**That's not the point, Moony!**

Actually, Moony makes a very good point. Why can't I invite my girlfriend to stay over?

Yes, why can't he invite me over?

**Lilyflower! Didn't see you there. Sorry about that, just a misunderstanding.**

Misunderstanding? (heavy on the scepticism)

Ignore Sirius, Lils, he's just talking out of his arse.

_Nothing out of the ordinary._

**OI! Stop taking the piss!**

_Who, me? Taking the piss? Never!_

You're both so juvenile. Lily, will you come and spend the Easter break with me at my humble abode?

_And by humble he actually means mansion._

Moony!

_Just thought she should know what she's getting herself into._

She is still here, you know, and she hasn't made up her mind yet, thank you very much!

What is there to make up? One week with your sexy boyfriend in his mansion - who would say no to that?

A girl who has a family she hasn't seen for months, maybe?

**Ooh! Shut down in a big way!**

Shut up, Padfoot.

I didn't say no, it's just I really do have to see my family. Especially after… you know?

**She means the letter, by the way.**

**I think we all got that, sweetheart.**

**I'm just reminding you. Also, I should remind you that as we are in Defence we should probably be doing the actual revision - NEWTs aren't far off, you know?**

Don't tell me? I actually made you responsible?

**Lils, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I came to this stage of responsibility and maturity all by myself.**

I'm so proud!

And they think we get off topic!

Sorry, James. 

That's okay. Maybe next Easter.

No, I mean sorry for rambling. I would love to spend Easter with you… I just have to check in with my family as well. 

No worries.

**Prongs, you should absolutely, definitely go with her!**

You could, you know. I'm sure mum and dad would love to see you again, James. 

Really? Are you sure?

Let's do three days at your house and then three at mine. Or the other way around?

That's fine - my Dad would probably get lonely on his own on Easter Sunday.

**No he wouldn't! He'd have his second son there like always!**

_I like how you're marketing yourself as an actual relation, there, Pads. _

**Hey, we're both purebloods - we probably are related. **

Euh! I feel unclean!

_Sirius, that hex was unnecessary. _

**It was one hundred percent necessary - he insulted me!**

It was vaguely amusing-

TRAITOR!

- But next time you try to hex my boyfriend, you'll have to go through me first. 

**Lils, I know you think I'd never hex a girl, but you're seriously underestimating the callous rogue in me!**

HOLD ON!

_??_

Okay, so: Lily, you're coming to mine for the first three days and then we'll go to yours for the rest of the week. Agreed?

Sure. Sounds good to me.

**And what about Mr Potter's second son? He'll miss me dreadfully!**

Just because Lily's coming, it doesn't mean you can't. You live there too, stupid!

**Actually, he can't anyway, because he's coming home with ME to meet MY family, aren't you, DARLING?**

**Yes, Cat.**

Mate, you're totally whipped!

**Good. Now we've got that sorted, let's get onto this revision.**

**I don't care what she says, Lily. I'm blaming this newfound studying-streak on you!**

* * *

"Lils, relax! You've met my Dad before," James urged Lily as they boarded the horseless carriages out the front of Hogwarts. This particular carriage was taking them to Hogsmeade where they would take a waiting portkey to the Potter mansion.

"Yes, but this is completely different. Last time we were being formally interviewed; this time I'm staying at your house."

"Yeah… and?"

"And I'm your girlfriend. It's just different, okay?" Lily huffed, twisting her hair anxiously through her fingers.

"Lily, stop," James commanded, leaning across the carriage and grabbing her hand. "I know you're nervous and that's fine. I'm nervous about seeing your family again, too. But you need to relax. It's the holidays. We're going to have fun." He said it in such a final way that Lily dared not argue. She didn't want to put a damper on their week together. She just had her reservations about staying in the house while James' father was there. After all, it had not been long ago that the pair had been considering stepping their relationship up a notch and would there be a more perfect opportunity away from Hogwarts any time soon? Lily highly doubted it, and yet she wasn't entirely sold on the idea of sex with James while the father was in the house. But she was probably just over thinking things, as usual.

Skipping ahead several hours (past the lazy lunch at the Three Broomsticks and the dizzying journey via a butterbeer bottle shaped portkey) and Lily and James were at the grand gates to the renowned Potter mansion.

"Err, Lily, I'm not sure if you took him seriously, but Remus wasn't joking about the, erm, mansion thing. So please don't be intimidated. It's not as big or expensive as it looks, I promise," James said anxiously, hoping that Lily wouldn't see his home and suddenly decide that he was a spoilt little rich boy who didn't deserve her attention. But all Lily could do was stare at the extravagance before her.

They stood at the wrought iron gate, tipped with gold paint, that was overrun with rambling ivy at the hinges. Beyond the gate was a long gravel path that wound over about a quarter mile of lush lawn before splitting in two around a large pond (or lake, Lily imagined) with a granite fountain in the middle. There were several marble-looking steps up to the double front door (oak, Lily suspected) which seemed small in comparison to the rest of the grey-stone coloured, triple storeyed development complete with two towers, several balconies and a turret.

"Oh, wow," Lily murmured, feeling rather inadequate about her own family home.

"Yes… well," James muttered awkwardly, grabbing Lily's hand and, head bowed, leading her up the path. To Lily's left she could see the border of the Potter's property - a large forest, not unlike the one at Hogwarts. To her right, the grass seemed to stretch on for ages until it reached a small river that bordered the land. As they rounded the fountain, a small figure appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Master James!" squeaked the tiny house elf, its large ears quivering excitedly.

"Tilly," James grinned, his nerves evaporating as he saw his head house elf waiting for them.

"Master James, we has been waiting for you all week," the elf chirped happily, "We has made the house as nice and clean as ever."

"That's great Til," James replied, gently tugging Lily forward. "May I introduce Miss Lily - she'll be staying with us for the next few days."

"Pleasure to meet you, Miss Lily," Tilly bobbed a curtsey, "We made up a room for you, just as Master David instructed."

"Where is Dad?" James asked as he levitated his and Lily's trunks and _locomotor_-ed them up the stairs.

"Master David is still working; his hours are so long these days," Tilly sighed like an exasperated house wife, "But he said he will be home for dinner and that we are having your favourite."

"Good-o," James replied, leading Lily up the stairs now. "Well, we'll just get going. I'm going to give Lilykins here a tour."

"Yes, master James," Tilly curtseyed again before she scurried off.

"You have a house elf?" Lily asked curiously.

"We have three. Tilly is in charge and then there's also Ted and Bob who work in the kitchens. We don't really need three, though. Not anymore," he sighed. Lily wound her fingers through his and gave him a half smile.

"Come on, then, where's my tour?"

The pair spent the following half hour exploring the depths of the Potter 'palace'. Past the impressive entrance, there was a small hallway which led directly into an expansive ballroom, furnished with extravagant settees against the walls and an ostentatious chandelier.

"Mum and Dad used to have balls for fundraisers and stuff," James said, leading Lily to their right. They had a brief look inside the front room which was full of various musical instruments. A grand piano stood on a slightly raised platform in the corner of the room.

"Mum used to teach us how to play," he murmured almost inaudibly, as though he were speaking to himself.

"There's also a bathroom and a study," James explained, snapping out of his melancholy as he led Lily back through the central ballroom, "But I think you'll appreciate this a lot more."

He pushed back an inconspicuous dark varnished door and motioned for Lily to go first. He smirked as he heard her small gasp of awe - he had just shown Lily inside the family library.

"Oh my lord," Lily whispered, stepping into the cavernous room. "There must be centuries worth of literature in here."

"Well, yes. My family likes to read. Dad in particular finds it very calming. Sirius and I just like this room 'cause it's full of books on how to hex people," James shook his head, amusedly.

"Wow, this is amazing!" Lily said, still in a hushed tone, as she went over to a shelf and ran her fingers delicately along the spine of a leather-bound book.

"If I'd known all along that it would impress you so much… all I had to say was 'Lily, I have my own library' and you would've fallen at my feet."

Lily just turned to smirk at him before turning back to admire the expanses of books before her.

"You know, there are two more levels to this house and we haven't even finished exploring this one?" James prompted after a minute. He was glad Lily was enjoying herself but libraries weren't really his thing.

"O-kay," Lily sighed, allowing James to drag her out through a connecting hallway and into another vast room, that had the same chequered, polished floor as the ballroom.

"This is _the gallery_," James said in the spookiest voice he could muster. Indeed, it was rather creepy in this room. Thick velvet curtains obscured any light that might come in through the front windows, and torches burned medievally in brackets along the walls. Around the room, on various podiums and daises, stood assorted magical items that were completely new to Lily - things that looked like silver squiggles of metal or old chests decorated with gold leafing, for example.

"This is where we keep all the portraits of Potters past," James said, pointing to the wall full of moving paintings. "They're all gone now, except for Dad," he pointed to his father's waving portrait, "So this is how we remember them."

"Who's that?" Lily asked, pointing to a painting of a short man with thick grey hair and a piratical eye patch who was wearing only a singlet and a loincloth.

"Great uncle Albert," James replied with a chuckle, "Liked to experiment with potions. We rather think that the fumes addled his brains - he always was inordinately comfortable in a loincloth." Lily giggled, while the painting waved happily at James.

"Over there are my grandparents," James pointed out. They were painted as a youngish couple - mid-forties, perhaps - the woman had long chestnut coloured hair and a pair of glasses identical to James', while the man had the typically messy Potter mop of hair, and a long jagged scar over his cheekbone. "Grandpa George came off worse in a fight with a griffin," James explained, "He thought it'd be a good idea to tame one himself. Needless to say, he failed." The painting just scowled playfully at his grandson, while the woman rolled her eyes at him. Lily noticed that all the Potter men had the same messy black (or, in some cases, greying) hair as James and that many seemed to have similar facial features. It was a little bit creepy. Lily could clearly see, however, that James would be retain his good looks even through middle age which, although she was not necessarily a shallow person, was something that she was very pleased about.

"And this is my Mum and Alex."

In a golden frame at the far end of the gallery stood an elegant woman in magenta robes and a small girl in an aquamarine party dress. The woman had long wavy blonde hair held back neatly with pins, and startlingly blue eyes that seemed to posses the Albus Dumbledore-like quality of being able to detect lies. The girl, who looked about six or seven, had the same hair as her mother but the same hazel eyes as her brother, which sparkled happily as she smiled out at them. Lily felt awkward, as though she was intruding upon a private family moment. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to introduce herself or even speak to the portraits - after all, they were only echoes of people that had once lived.

"Do you ever, you know, talk to them?" Lily asked quietly.

"Sometimes," James replied, still staring at the painting, "It's not the same, though."

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily said, feeling stupid, "It's nice to meet you both." The pair in the frame merely smiled and nodded at her in response. James smiled - he was certainly glad that he had Lily.

"Come on, lots more to see," he said slightly more cheerfully.

"But I didn't introduce myself to the rest of the family," Lily said with a half-smile.

"Time for that later," James grinned, now leading Lily up the grand wooden staircase that swept around the two sides of the ballroom.

The second storey, Lily discovered, comprised of more rooms full of wizarding stuff (or junk, according to James), a dining room, sitting room, kitchen (where the Potters ate most of their meals), laundry and the second level of the beautiful library. James didn't bother showing Lily that bit, lest they get stuck in there for an extra half hour.

The third storey, James explained, was once occupied by he and his immediate family in addition to his two sets of grandparents. Of course, all the Potters had lived in these halls, but they were the most recent bunch. Some of the individual bedrooms had been converted into 'guest suites' with adjoining bathrooms and balconies. Lily was staying in the suite across the hall from James and Sirius' individual bedrooms, giving her a view of the Potter's backyard… or one could say, the Potter's swimming pool, rose garden and quidditch pitch. There was also a billiard room on that floor and a large balcony running nearly the full length of the back of the house, giving a similar view as Lily's personal balcony.

"So, this is your room for the next few days," James said with enthusiastic flourish.

"Remus really wasn't kidding about the mansion thing, was he?" Lily muttered at the enormous four poster bed, plush carpet, antique dresser and study desk that qualified as 'bedroom'. James just shrugged.

"You'll be comfortable, I guess. But my bedroom is just across the hall in case you get… lonely," he grinned roguishly.

"When's your dad getting home?" Lily asked, stalking closer to her boyfriend, being deliberately more flirtatious that usual.

"Erm, dunno?" James replied, an octave higher than usual.

"Why would I go all the way across the hallway," Lily grabbed James' tie and pulled him towards her, "When I like it so much in here?" James was speechless as Lily sat down on her bed and pulled him down on top of her. Lily chuckled, "You're too easy, you know that? Get off, you great lump!" she shoved him and he fell unceremoniously to the floor.

"Oi!" James exclaimed, "What did you do that for?"

"Just gauging how interested you are," Lily replied cheekily.

"You _know_ I'm interested, Evans," he growled, moving to get back on the bed.

"Uh uh, Potter," Lily cautioned, "Not now; not in here. It's not technically my room so it doesn't feel right."

"You can't do that to a man," James grumbled, "Come on, I'll show you my bedroom."

He led Lily across the hall and into his own untidy excuse for a bedroom. The walls were covered in quidditch posters and some muggle posters of The Beatles and Charlie's Angels actress Farrah Fawcett (Lily was a little worried about that one…). To one side of the room was a large bed - although, not four poster - with a small dresser beside it. There was a large wardrobe and apparently quidditch cupboard along the other wall, as well, but that was about it.

It seemed, without talking about it outright, that the steady couple had decided to sleep together. Lily wasn't sure why she thought this was an acceptable thing to do in her boyfriend's family mansion when her brain would usually have prohibited even the suggestion, but she found she really didn't care. She loved James with all her heart and soul, and she was ready to show him that. The fact that said boyfriend's father might be home at any minute was irrelevant.

James was equally eager and nervous. He had loved this girl since he had first set eyes on her and now he was finally going to get to make love to her. It was vaguely surreal and he wasn't quite sure that he was actually awake. But he was going to make the most of it, dream sequence or not.

"It looks sort of similar to your room at school," Lily noted, casually. "_This_ feels right…"

"NO!" James nearly shouted.

"Sorry," Lily said, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment, "I just thought that… I guess I was wrong, err-"

"No, it's just… my parents used to sleep in this room," James interrupted.

"Huh?"

"Before Sirius moved in and we chopped the room in half, my parents used to sleep in here."

"So?"

"SO! I was probably conceived in this room. Wrong! It's just…eurgh!" James said, shuddering.

Lily laughed with relief. "You're absolutely ridiculous, James."

"Come on, Lils, it's just… wrong," he said flatly.

"Well, do you have a better suggestion?" she asked, hands on hips.

"As a matter of fact," James grinned deviously, "Yes, I do."

"This, Lily-flower, is my favourite room in the house," James said, waving his wand at the ceiling where a trapdoor appeared. Tugging on the dangling string, James managed to reveal a set of wooden steps that led up to yet another level in the never-ending house.

"Of course he has a loft," Lily muttered, wondering why she was still surprised by these things.

"It's sort of like a room of requirement, but less powerful," James explained, leading the way, "It depends what you're thinking about on the way up the stairs that determines what sort of room you'll get… Ah..."

He and Lily entered a spacious room with sloping wooden ceiling, a large Persian rug and a double bed with fresh linen sheets. It was plain and comfortable - it wasn't too much like home but wasn't completely foreign either.

Lily walked over and sat herself down on the end of the bed. She looked up through the lock of hair that had fallen across her eyes and smiled at James, who returned the smile a little nervously and sat down beside her. He gently pushed the hair out of her eyes, as he had done many times before, and smiled again - this time more genuinely. Before either of them knew it, they were kissing. Softly at first, then with more and more passion. When they finally did break apart for air - by which time they had toppled sideways on the bed so that they were lying down facing each other - the reality of what they were about to do hit them.

"Lily, are you sure you want to do this?" James asked, his eyes boring into hers.

"Yes," she whispered, "Are you?"

James just nodded. "I love you, okay?" she said, just to reassure him. James broke into a brilliant smile.

"I love you too, Lils."

And just like that, Lily and James finally got around to doing something that they had been meaning to for quite a while and that they both decided they enjoyed very much.

* * *

Dear Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail,

I decided to send you all identical letters so that no one feels left out, but there's a little something in here for all of you.

Things here at Hogwarts are kind of boring. Yes, Pads, I know I told you I was going back to stay with Claire for a bit but it didn't work out. And Prongs, I know you told me to just use my 'natural charm' but I just found her family a bit full on. I left after one night only to find that you, Peter, were not at Hogwarts as I had assumed you would be - I guess you're with your mum, I'm sorry I didn't check that with you first.

Okay, so I know we're guys and aren't really supposed to talk about our feelings (especially to one another) but it's my favourite holiday and I've consumed a lot of chocolate and am therefore more inclined to discuss with you all the intimate details that you'd rather not know. (And Prongs/Padfoot, lately you two have been wearing your hearts on your sleeves so I feel completely justified in what I'm about to say.)

Claire's great, she really is. She's gorgeous, she accepts me for who I am, she's really intelligent - all the important stuff. I really do like her…  
It's just I'm not sure if I feel that strongly about her anymore. Before I met her family I was actually thinking- well, I was thinking like you often think Sirius. But after a day I found I wasn't that keen anymore. Which is strange.

She has a massive family - at least four younger brothers and sisters who have yet to go to Hogwarts - and she's good with dealing with all of them. One of them is a squib so I guess that must be difficult, but she seems to manage things well. Seeing her with her family - particularly with Sarah (the non-magically gifted sibling) - made me worry. I know you'll say it's nothing, but I worry sometimes that she's only going out with me because I'm a charity case. Like maybe she's dating me out of pity.

I don't want to think like that but sometimes I catch her looking at me with a sort of concern in her eyes and I wonder if that's the reason behind it. And what if I only liked her because she wasn't Anna? Like a sort of reflex response - if I was going to let anyone in it would be Claire over Anna. Is that what this was all about? Should I just be happy that I have my friends and be content to live a singular existence? Who needs all that emotional baggage?

Perhaps I'm over thinking things, as usual; it just occurred to me over the break and so I came back to Hogwarts to catch up on reading and enjoy the emptiness of the castle.

What else has happened?

Well, mum and dad sent me a ridiculous amount of Honeydukes chocolate for Easter which I have hidden in a place that you, Padfoot, will _never_ find! And I fully intend to make it last the whole week… unrealistic, I know, but a man's got to try.  
I don't know about you guys, but it feels like ages since we've hung out together just the four of us. I know this seems ironic given that I'm always the one nagging you to go and study but I think when we get back to Hogwarts we should plan something huge for just before exams to cheer everyone up. I think it will involve nifflers, Filibuster's fireworks and possibly a gigantic waterslide in the Great Hall… but that's just me brainstorming. Marauder's meeting first night back, okay?

I'd better go and write to Claire. I only left a few hours ago using the I-don't-feel-well excuse. I don't think she's too pleased with me, but who knows?

Cheers mates, have a safe holiday,

Moony.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the land of couples that had already taken the particular step in their relationship that Lily and James were taking (and gone back a few times to take it again), Cat and Sirius were on their way to the safe house where Cat's mother and brother were being kept. Sirius was understandably nervous about meeting the family as an official boyfriend. True, he had met Catherine's mother - Celia - on several previous occasions, including dinners at the Potters' and the odd ministry-organised function. As for Cat's little brother, Jake, Sirius and he got along relatively well. They had often played quidditch together on James' pitch during the holidays and the two Marauders had joked that Hogwarts better prepare themselves for the quidditch genius that would be Jake Jones. Now, however, it was unlikely that he would ever see Hogwarts, let alone its quidditch pitch, due to the fact that he and his mother were now in hiding from You-Know-Who.

The young couple were being escorted through a maze of streets and alleys in a small yet speedy ministry vehicle by two ministry officials - Benjy Fenwick and Dorcas Meadows. Dorcas was at the wheel and driving much too fast, in Sirius' opinion.

"Say, Meadows, could you slow down a bit? I think I left my stomach at the last intersection," Sirius complained from the backseat where he was wedged in tightly next to Benjy.

"Come on, Black, you fly a comet twenty-five and you're scared of the speed this old thing is moving?" Dorcas teased. Cat glanced at her paler-than-usual boyfriend in the rear-view mirror.

"Actually, I think he just wants to put off meeting my mum again," she piped up.

"Oi!" Sirius protested, but the ensuing rant was cut off by Benjy's low chuckle.

"We've all been there," he agreed, clapping Sirius on the back in a friendly way, "I nearly had a heart attack meeting the old Mrs Meadows. Scariest woman you'll ever meet."

"Not if you've met my mother," Sirius muttered to himself under the protesting shriek from the front seat.

"I'll have you know that my mum has a heart of gold and makes the best scones in all of Northumberland," Dorcas said, swivelling around to fix her boyfriend and colleague with a beady stare. "You know her bite's not as bad as her bark."

"I was just playing," Benjy replied, "Besides, Sirius here needs all the support he can get. Mother-in-laws can be a sticky subject… I should know." He winked. Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"Please watch the road!" Sirius cried, watching a truck approaching them head on with a fear-stricken look.

"Whoops," Dorcas said, pulling a hard left, "My bad!"

"Where are we, anyway?" Cat asked curiously.

"Technically, we can't tell you," Dorcas said apologetically, "But we're still in Britain, if that helps."

"Oh, okay, thanks," Cat replied, looking thoughtfully out the window at the blurring scenery.

"So, where did you two end up, then?" Sirius asked, looking for something to distract from the sense of impending doom that was building in his stomach.

"What do you mean?" Benjy replied.

"In the ministry? You were three years above us, Fenwick, and you were two, Meadows. Where'd you go after Hogwarts?"

"I ended up in the Department of Mysteries, although I really shouldn't say that, should I?" Dorcas grinned. "I'm in the division of experimental charms, so what I do isn't necessarily top priority but it's generally top secret."

"And I ended up in the Department of International Magical Co-operation," Benjy piped up. "It's fun sometimes, like when I get to work with the Department of Magical Games and Sports to help co-ordinate international quidditch matches. But sometimes it's downright coma-inducing."

"How'd you two get together, then? If you were in completely different departments. We know you weren't Hogwarts sweethearts or anything," Cat stated.

"True, we weren't together at Hogwarts," Dorcas hedged, sharing a significant look with her boyfriend in the mirror. Benjy gave a little bit of a shrug.

"We met properly through the Order of the Phoenix," she said.

"Oh, that explains it. I was wondering why they didn't send aurors," Cat mused.

"Well, that department is stretched a bit thin at the moment, so we stepped up to the job. Of course, having an Order member as head of the aurors does help things a bit," he chuckled.

"Dumbledore plans on asking us to join when we finish school," Cat mentioned.

"I can't wait," Sirius muttered grimly.

"It's no walk in the park, you know, Black?" Benjy asserted. "It's tough work and unpredictable hours. And it's dangerous."

"Even better."

"I don't think you're taking this seriously-"

"No, I know how serious a job it is," Sirius interrupted, "But I can't wait to start fighting the fight properly. To help win this bloody war once and for all."

There was a pensive silence in the car following that particular outburst, so Dorcas turned on the muggle radio until they reached the destination.

"This," Benjy said, handing Cat a piece of paper, "Is the address of the safe house. It was written down by the secret keeper so when you read it, the house should appear, alright? Destroy it afterwards."

"We'll send someone through the floo network next Sunday morning at nine. We've arranged to attach the house to the network for a very short period of time so make sure you're ready to leave, okay?" Dorcas explained.

"Thanks, guys. I really appreciate all the trouble," Cat said sincerely.

"No worries, Jones," Benjy winked, "Hope to see you two at a meeting some time soon." And the couple disappeared off down the road as fast as a bolt of lightening.

"Come on, Black," Cat grabbed the animagus' hand, "Time to face the music."

Sirius felt a little as though he was being led to the gallows but swallowed his fear and followed his girlfriend nonetheless. Neither teen had any idea where exactly they were, but the street they'd been left in was dingy and inconspicuous. Sirius was sure it looked like a million other streets in any urban industrial area of Great Britain; nondescript.

_15 Asgog Street, Splott, Cardiff. _

Upon reading the location, a small brick building began to push its way into existence from between the two buildings on either side of it. The windows were covered with dark curtains and the front door was not particularly welcoming adorned with a serpentine knocker that seemed to stare straight at Sirius, reminding him uncomfortably of the ancient and most noble house of Black.  
Cat walked cautiously to the door, while Sirius trailed behind carrying both their trunks. The door swung open suddenly and it was very lucky that Sirius had his arms full of luggage or he would've whipped out his wand and accidentally stunned the tall, thin woman now smothering her daughter in a tight hug due to the swift unexpectedness of it all. Behind the hugging, sobbing pair, Sirius could see a pair of familiar, inquisitive eyes staring out. He nodded in acknowledgement of Cat's younger brother then turned his attention back to Cat, who was being held at arms length by the willowy Celia while the mother examined her daughter. Though it pained Sirius to break up this obviously much anticipated reunion, it struck him that a woman in hiding shouldn't be seen loitering unnecessarily on her front step.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat, setting down his trunk and extending a hand. "I'm Sirius, Mrs Jones. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Cat's mother merely smiled graciously, gently shaking Sirius' hand. "Might I suggest we move inside? We've had a long trip," Sirius invented, not wanting to remind them all that they were in mortal danger just standing on their front doorstep.

"Oh, of course," Celia said, shaking her head at her poor hostess skills, "Please, do come in." Sirius smiled his thanks and led the way in, missing the approving glance that Celia threw her daughter.

The afternoon progressed nicely into evening, with Sirius offering to help cook dinner due to the fact that the Joneses had been forced to leave their house elf behind. Cat convinced her mother to let them both cook - a risk in and of itself, but she agreed with that same knowing smile from earlier and left them to it, choosing to watch some muggle television with Jake.

"Cut it out," Cat ordered as soon as she and Sirius were alone. Sirius, who had begun rummaging around in the fridge, stuck his head back out to look at Cat, his expression highly offended.

"Cut _what_ out?" he asked indignantly.

"The whole sucking-up-to-my-mum thing. It's really annoying," Cat huffed, grabbing a knife from the block and viciously chopping up a carrot.

"I'm not sucking up to your mum, _Catherine_," Sirius replied, slamming down the hunk of meat on the board and reaching for the mallet. "I'm merely being polite and helpful so as to create a good first impression. What in the name of Merlin's saggy y-fronts is wrong with that?"

"You're being _too_ perfect."

"I can't help it, that's just how I am," Sirius replied, cocky yet irritated.

"You're flirting with her!" Cat accused suddenly pointing the knife accusatorily at him.

"Wh-what?!" Sirius spluttered.

"You're being all charming and gross-" Cat began.

"I am NOT flirting with your mother!" Sirius cried, eyes wide in horror, slamming the mallet down on the meat fillet.

"Yes you are!" Cat cried again. "All that god-awful 'Black charm'. Just stop being so damn nice!"

"I thought you wanted me to be nice!" Sirius replied, now thoroughly confused and more than a bit angry.

"I DO!" Cat yelled. There was a pause before both the knife and the meat mallet clattered to the ground as Cat and Sirius came together in one of their I'm-angry-and-confused-and-yet-I-want-to-snog-you-senseless kisses. The kissing, however, didn't last very long as the pair were interrupted by a loud clearing of the throat coming from the doorway.

"Eww, gross," Jake said, peering around from behind his mother's midriff. The pair sprang apart guiltily, Sirius avoiding all eye contact with anyone.

"I was rather under the impression that you two were going to make dinner," Celia said, a smile tugging up the corner of her mouth into a smirk directed at her daughter.

"Yeah, sorry. We, err, got distracted," Cat said, trying not to laugh.

"Eww," Jake shuddered again, but everyone ignored his comments.

"I thought I'd send Jake in to help, but maybe you two should have a break?" she suggested lightly.

"No, it's okay, Mrs Jones," Sirius spoke up, "We're doing fine. We could use an extra pair of hands, though."

"I'll do the spuds," Jake said, eyeing the two teens warily lest they suddenly perform another random public display of affection.

"Mash 'em, mate," Sirius replied, bending to pick up the forgotten utensils. While he was down there, Celia gave her daughter a significant look then left the room.

"Uh, I'll be right back, Sirius," Cat said, following her mother out of the room.

"Sure," Sirius replied, striking up a quidditch conversation with Jake in her absence.

"Yes, Mum?" Cat asked when they were safely out of earshot.

"Is everything okay, darling?" Celia asked, sinking onto a couch.

"Yeeaaah, why?"

"We heard yelling." Silence, "Then you were kissing..?"

"Oh, that," Cat replied, blushing a little bit. Her mother knew that Cat and Sirius were close but still, nobody wants to be caught snogging by one of their parents - it's just mortifying.

"Yes, that," Celia grinned. "I know you don't want to talk to your mum about this, darling-"

"You're right, I absolutely don't-"

"But just how serious are you and, well, Sirius? You've never brought a boy home before."

"Mu-um," Cat moaned, blushing profusely.

"I'm just saying," Celia shrugged. There was another pause. "You remind me of how your father and I used to be." Cat looked up at this to see tears in her mother's eyes.

"So happy; carefree, even," Celia smiled, "Even when you're arguing… I can see it." She sniffed, "Hold onto that, sweetheart, because it doesn't last forever."

"Oh, mum," Cat sighed sadly, pulling Celia into a tight hug. After a moment, Celia pulled back sniffing and tried to put a smile on her face. Her attempt was pathetic at best but she maintained a steady voice when she told Cat to get back to the kitchen and help the boys.

The rest of Cat and Sirius' time at the safe house was rather nice if a little boring. As the Joneses weren't strictly speaking allowed in public view, lest there be Death Eaters about ready to finish them off, most of their time was spent indoors either cooking, playing muggle and wizarding games or trying to make the house look lived in (for although Celia and Jake had been there months, they had not had the spirit or desire to make their temporary house a home).

Once Sirius had finished nailing picture hooks into the walls the muggle way - something Cat liked to watch him do due to his tight 'work' tee-shirt - Celia set him to work painting the upstairs bedroom. This was a task that Cat had offered to help out with.

"You know, we could just do this the normal way and it'd be a lot quicker," Sirius complained, "My arms are starting to get tired."

"You're such a whinger, Black," Cat said, not turning to look at him as she concentrated on her section of wall.

"But the normal way-"

"This _is _the normal way!"

"My arms do actually hurt, you know," Sirius pressed, his puppy dog expression used to elicit compassion going to waste as Cat resolutely faced her wall.

"Suck it up," she said, stubbornly.

_Suck it up, will I?_ Sirius thought to himself as he stealthily approached his girlfriend from behind, one hand brandishing a paint-y brush, the other preparing to pin Cat down. But, of course, being the clever girl that she was, Cat saw Sirius' reflection in a nearby window and therefore had time to spin around and land him with a bright daub of paint before he could even make a move.

"OI!" Sirius spluttered, wiping the cream paint out of his eyes.

Cat just giggled uncontrollably at the sight of her confused-looking boyfriend smearing the paint further across his face and into his hair. "You are absolutely going to pay for that, Jones," Sirius growled before launching into attack. Paint flew everywhere, both by means of magic and by Cat manually emptying the tin of paint over Sirius' head. Soon the pair were tangled around one another, lying on the floor exhausted.

When their laughter had subsided, Sirius asked the all important question, "So, please tell me we can clean this up the normal way?"

* * *

Remus,

Why did you leave in such a hurry this morning? We'd only been here a day! Is it because you weren't used to such a large family? Or because you were nervous about meeting my parents? Or was the food bad? Please tell me because I am at a complete loss. I know for a fact that the full moon is not for another month so don't give me this 'I don't feel well' rubbish - it's an insult to my intelligence.

If you're getting cold feet with our relationship you should tell me. I know meeting my family when we've only been together two months is sort of intense but you could've said something.

I have to go help Sarah do the dishes now so I can't write any more than this but just let me know where your head's at, okay? I've never been a big supporter of secrets.

Claire.

* * *

"You know what, James? I think that was just about the most awkward three days I have ever spent in my life _ever_!" Lily moaned and she and her boyfriend sat in the back of a taxicab weaving their way through London's busy streets to the Evans' town house.

"Well, I had a great time," grinned the boy mischievously, kissing Lily's hand with his eyebrows quirked. She yanked her hand away and gave him a gentle shove in the chest, although she couldn't help but smile slightly at the remark.

"Let me assure you, Potter, there will be no more of _that_ while we're at my parents' home. Got it?"

"Aww, but Lils, it was such good fun," he grinned again.

"NO! I swear your dad knew we'd had it off before he got home," Lily accused, blushing heavily as she glanced at the cabbie to make sure he wasn't listening. "He had that knowing, cheeky grin that you Potters wear when you know something nobody else does," she continued in a whisper.

"He did not," James chuckled, "I'm sure if he had any idea he would've probed me about it."

"He's an auror - he has a sixth sense for… these things."

"For knowing when two teenagers very much in love with one another have had sex under his own roof?" James queried incredulously. "I'm pretty sure he's attuned to acts of a less legal nature. Dark arts and shagging don't necessarily go hand in hand."

Lily just crossed her arms over her chest and stared out the window. She felt James softly take her hand and slowly move it to touch his chest. She turned to look at him and was surprised to see how close he had gotten.

"All jokes aside, Lily Jane Evans, I had a wonderful time with you these past few days and I hope that in spite of your embarrassment, you had a wonderful time too."

"Of course I did, James. I especially enjoyed learning how to fly. Quidditch with your father was an experience," Lily sighed, leaning into James' body and resting her forehead on his shoulder. They stayed like this through an entire Beatles song on the radio til Lily muttered, "It's kind of a pity that we have to go straight to my house."

"Hmm?"

"'Cause we can't do _that _at my house."

"What? Quidditch?"

"No, the other thing."

"Oh, right… Why's it a pity, exactly?"

"Because I'd very much like to do it again," Lily grinned in spite of herself, glad that James couldn't see her face. Doubly glad that the speeding up of his heart beneath her hand told her that he was not completely adverse to the idea of 'doing it again'.

* * *

Moony, and also Prongs and Wormtail,

Firstly, Moony if you don't like her like that then don't waste your time. Life is too short, my friend, to frit away on girls who aren't right for you - in fact, I think it was probably you that tried to teach me that lesson in the first place. Thank Merlin's very long and unattractive beard for that!

Speaking of the lovely Catherine…

Things here in the Jones household are desperately un-festive (although, technically speaking, Easter isn't necessarily the most festive occasion if you pay attention to the muggle story behind it… but I digress).

It has been my mission, over the past few days, to transform this household into a slightly cheerier version of it's former self… which isn't hard at all given that it's a SAFEHOUSE! Only a _minor_ setback.

But I suppose we're doing an alright job of things. The other day Cat and I painted one of the rooms and ended up in a paint fight so that was nice. Since then we've been engaged in a slightly more difficult task.

I'm not sure if I told you gents this (I'm sure I did) but when she found out about Moony's furry little secret and our resulting misadventures, she requested that I teach her how to do as we do.

I know, I know. Moony you're probably shaking your head in disapproval and Prongs, you're probably wondering why you didn't ask Lily if she wanted to do the same as Cat. I am teaching her how to become an animagus. We all know it's hard but, come on, if we can do it so can she. I mean, especially if Wormtail can do it then anyone can.

Just kidding, Pete… kind of.

I think she'll probably end up becoming the animal of her patronus which, funnily enough, is a cat. Well, quite a large cat, really - I think it might be a puma, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. Sort of ironic that she should turn out a cat while I'm a dog… Oh well, I suppose they say opposites attract.

And Moony, I am so very proud! Such original ideas for a prank and, unusually, they don't sound too complex - I take my hat off to you, sir!

So how go things with the dearest Lily-flower, ey, Prongs? Made a move yet? Uncle Padfoot wants to know how his young protégé fared. But not in great detail - my stomach isn't that strong!

I'd better get back to it. I don't want Cat to accidentally hurt herself or something while I'm busy writing to you gits.

Padfoot.

Ps - Prongs, those mirrors were purchased for a reason, you know! When I want to speak to you next time just pick the bloody thing up!

Pps - Prongs, when was the last time we had quidditch training? We need to be ready to face either Ravenclaw or Slytherin in the final - they have a game coming up next week - I hope you haven't forgotten! … That is all.

* * *

"You know, I think you're this to me on purpose."

"I'm sorry?"

"Anna, seriously, it was your idea to come down study here in the first place," Caradoc asserted, making a point of turning the page in his textbook.

"I know we did," Anna replied, slipping back into her seat, having retrieved the book she was after. "What's your point?"

"_Why_ did you chose to wear your shortest skirt and then just _happen_ to need all the books off the highest shelf?" Caradoc narrowed his eyes as Anna blushed slightly. "You have no idea how distracting it is," he growled.

"I'm absolutely sure I have no idea what you mean," his girlfriend replied with a sweet smile, placing the end of her quill in her mouth and sucking on it thoughtfully.

"Anna…" Caradoc said again, his voice low and rough. The girl in question simply gave him her innocent doe-eyes and a shrug of the shoulders. "Urgh," he said, "For the record, you made me do this." And with no further warning he had pulled Anna up out of her seat and forced her against the stacks. Anna was breathless with anticipation and surprised at her boyfriend's sudden urgency. _Well, he is a man__, I guess,_ she thought to herself. Caradoc had one forearm resting on the bookshelf next to Anna's head, and the other was gripping her waist. He leaned in closer and Anna felt her eyes flutter closed as she felt his warm breath on her face. "I have been waiting to do this all afternoon," he whispered raggedly, letting his lips brush against hers as he spoke. Then they were kissing, intensely and with absolutely no restraint. Before long Anna had hitched her leg up around Caradoc's hip and the two were pressing as close together as possible.

"You know… even though… the library's… empty… maybe… we'd better… take this… somewhere else…" Anna suggested, between kisses. Caradoc stopped his ministrations on Anna's neck and rested his forehead against hers, looking into her blue eyes and breathing heavily.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," he grinned mischievously.

"It must have been while you were kissing me," Anna replied, taking her boyfriend's hand and pulling him towards the exit - all study paraphernalia completely forgotten.

About halfway to Ravenclaw tower Anna ducked into the girls' bathroom, assuring Caradoc that she would just freshen up and then solve the riddle to join him in the tower shortly. Having agreed, the boy in question was about halfway back to the tower (somewhere on the fourth floor) when he heard a taunting voice call his name.

"Hey, Dearborn!"

"What's the hurry, quidditch boy?"

"How many Ravenclaws does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

_Just ignore them,_ he thought to himself, his grip tightening around his wand underneath his robes.

"I don't know, but it takes the whole house of 'em to screw Anna Brown."

At this Caradoc stopped dead, his shoulders tense and his blood pounding loudly in his ears. But he refused to give his tormentors what they wanted - he was not a Marauder and didn't rise easily to irritation.

"Yeah, gets around, that one does."

"Oi, Dearborn, where is your whore?"

Caradoc spun around furiously to face none other than the detestable Edmond Triscombe, flanked by his Slytherin cronies Mulciber, Avery, Travers and Flint, the first of whom was wearing a disgusting smirk.

"What do you want, Triscombe?" Caradoc demanded in a hard voice.

"I want a lot of things, Dearborn, few of which are your concern," Triscombe replied smoothly.

"We do want to win quidditch next week," one of the thugs - Flint - grunted.

"So you've come to intimidate the Captain? Very sporting," Caradoc said.

"We don't need to intimidate you, Dearborn," Triscombe replied as his smirk grew.

"You've come to provoke me, then, by insulting my girlfriend?"

"Not that either," Avery spoke up.

"We were thinking more along the lines that Ravenclaw would be very disappointed if their star player found himself in the hospital wing for the next few weeks."

"You wouldn't dare," Caradoc pulled out his wand, desperately hoping that his words were true enough.

"Wouldn't we?" Travers drawled as the entire gang brandished their wands.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

"_Stupefy!_"

"_Reducto! Incarcerous!_"

The spells flew thick and fast, and while Caradoc managed both to hold onto his wand and to stupefy Mulciber, he was clearly outnumbered and his shield charms wouldn't hold much longer against four dark-arts practitioners such as these.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a distinctly female voice.

"_Levicorpus; Petrificus totalus! Expelliarmus!_" Anna hand snuck up behind the Slytherins and managed to take out three of the four.

"_Stupefy!_" Caradoc called, preventing Triscombe from retaliating. He then focused on his profusely bleeding right arm, conjuring a bandage out of thin air. Anna stood over Triscombe's prone body - though he had been stupefied, she was sure he could hear her.

"Now, listen very carefully to me, Edmond," she said, her voice a deadly whisper, "Lay another wand on my boyfriend and I will end you. Say one more bad word about me behind my back and I will make sure that you will never be able to produce children. Hurt anyone of my friends and, well, you get the idea." At this point she drew her foot back and planted it hard in his stomach, using all of her energy in the savage kick. "It was nice talking to you." And with that she stepped composedly onto the boy's chest then over him, taking Caradoc's hand and leading him down the corridor.

It wasn't until they were around the corner and a floor up that Caradoc could find the words.

"That was unbelievable!"

"I know! The nerve of those pillocks!" Anna cried, misunderstanding his meaning.

"No, I mean _you_. That was brilliant," Caradoc grinned. "Where did all that come from?"

"I've always been like that, stupid. I just rarely get a reason to hex those good-for-nothing Slytherins so I made the most of it. And it goes double for that Triscombe. He has caused me enough grief this year." Anna was then set off thinking about the vanishing cupboard incident back in the days when her reputation, for Remus' sake, had meant so much to her. She was pulled out of her reverie by her current boyfriend making a suggestion.

"Sorry, what was that? I kinda drifted," Anna said apologetically.

"S'ok, I was just saying that maybe it'd be a good idea to get out for a bit this weekend. I mean, I'm not scared that they'll come after me or anything. And I know you can handle yourself. But it'd be nice to get a change of scenery before school starts back up. Don't you think? And, besides, I want to buy you a drink for that marvellous performance!"

"Sounds like a great idea to me. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking that muggle area near here. Dufftown? We could perhaps stay the night in an inn or something?" he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sure. I like that idea," Anna grinned. "Which reminds me…"

And, as usual, the couple ended up kissing once again.

* * *

Hey mates,

Being at Lily's for the holidays is so bizarre! I've told you about her parent's rather large London town house already, haven't I? Well, it's even more peculiar that I gave it credit for last time. Now it's covered in decorations of brightly coloured eggs and chickens. All over the house. Strange, no?

Oh, did I mention what happened at mine?

That's right.

LILY AND I HAD SEX! They say a gentleman never kisses and tells… so I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a gentleman. But it's not like I'm going to tell you anything else, because it's really none of your business.

That's really all I had to say.

Seeing Lily's parents again was amusing. Meredith kept saying I'd gotten taller while Greg asked me some of those magic-questions that he asked me last time. I suppose his Alzheimer's (I think that's what Lily called it - a deterioration of the mind) doesn't help. And, in any case, I was more than pleased to explain the inner workings of quidditch… again.

Lily's sister, Petunia, dropped by with Vernon the whale. That was one awkward hour and a half that I'd rather not relive. I 'accidentally' cast an itching spell on Vernon which, I can assure you, was comedy gold. Lily, however, did not agree and refused to sneak me into her room that night (yes, I've been sleeping in her bedroom, unbeknownst to her parents - we have nearly as much privacy as at my house).

Now we've only got two days left and I'm starting to wonder why I'm not sick of Lily yet. That sounds absurd, coming from her boyfriend and all, but I would think spending practically twenty-four hours a day for seven days of the week would grate on me just a little. I'd gotten used to thinking that I would be bored with any non-Marauder for an extended period of time, but it just goes to show what I know.

And Padfoot OF COURSE I know about the quidditch and OF COURSE I have scheduled training sessions! Where were those accusations of ignorance coming from? It's like you don't know me at all! And you had better take good care of Cat while she's learning you-know-what. I will not be a happy captain if I get back to Hogwarts to find that one of my star chasers is stuck as a half-donkey or something (not that I'm implying she'll be a donkey or anything).

Additionally, I _do_ have my mirror on me. You just never call. Ever… Hypocrite.

Moony, I like your idea for a prank, but may I also put on the agenda for the next Marauder's meeting the notion of mini-pranks for the duration of the OWL and NEWT cramming study month. Just to lighten the mood, we may chose to pull off some strategically timed mini-pranks. Just a suggestion… that Lily had better not find out about.

Anyway, got to go. Lily's parents are out of the house for the afternoon and I have some Potter-charm to exert.

See you all soon,

Prongs.

* * *

It was a Saturday morning and Remus was contentedly curled up in an armchair by the fire, reading over his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook and sipping on a warm mug of tea. This blissful serenity was what Remus loved most about Saturday mornings. Unfortunately for the young werewolf, his solitude was not long-lived.

"Remus!" came a familiar voice from outside the common room. Then there was a pounding on the portrait hole and the sounds of the Fat Lady protesting ('Stop! Stop! Murder! Never have I been thus treated in my entire life!').

"Claire?" Remus said loudly, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Let me in, please, Remus," Claire demanded from the other side of the wall. She sounded angry and Remus blanched at the idea of facing a grumpy early-morning Claire. After all, she had every right to be angry: he had ditched their Easter plans in favour of coming back to spend alone time at Hogwarts and had not replied to her letter that asked why. So it was with great reluctance that Remus got up and let his girlfriend into the Gryffindor common room.

"What are you doing here? I thought you didn't get back until tomorrow?" Remus asked tactlessly.

"That's a nice way to great your girlfriend," Claire glowered. "As it happens, I missed you so much that I wanted to see you a day early."

Remus blushed, feeling doubly guilty for not replying to Claire's letter.

"Sorry… sorry," Remus said, shaking his head, "Of course I'm pleased to see you."

"We need to talk," Claire said, sitting down on a nearby chair.

"O-kay," Remus said sitting down opposite the carefully composed girl.

"What is _up_ with you lately?" she asked directly.

"What do you-"

"You know what I mean. You left my house for no reason. I had to explain that one to my mum and dad, so thanks for that, by the way. You never seem to want to spend time with me anymore-"

"That's not true-" Remus protested weakly.

"Do you remember," Claire interrupted, "When we were playing truth or dare with Anna and Caradoc and he said that he could see it in your eyes that you were crazy about me? I believed him - I mean, I thought I saw it too. I was so sure. But lately, I jut can't tell. This past week…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

Remus, guilty as he felt, decided against bringing up the concerns he voiced to the marauders about Claire seeing him as a charity case. He thought it in their better interests to patch things up and pass off his distant behaviour as leftover worry about Voldemort's letter. After all, it was a half truth. The letter had just reminded him of his 'damaged goods' label, prompting him to question Claire's loyalty.

"Why didn't you just tell me it was the letter that was bothering you?" Claire asked in a gentler tone.

"I didn't want to worry you," Remus lied, "It was Easter. Didn't want to spoil your holiday, and I'm really sorry about just leaving. It was unacceptably rude. How can I make it up to you?"

"How about we spend the day together?" Claire suggested with a smile and Remus almost forgot his doubts just marvelling at her beauty.

"Where? The forest, the library..?"

"How about outside Hogwarts?" Claire suggested with a mischievous glint in her eye (one that she had undoubtedly picked up from a Marauder).

"Off the grounds?" Remus repeated, uncertain.

"How about somewhere muggle-y. Like Dufftown? It'd be a nice distraction before we have to get straight back into studying," Claire pointed out. "Pleeeease?"

"Alright, I can't really see the harm," Remus agreed, "And I know a short cut."

Before long the troubled couple were walking hand in hand to the statue of Eargit the Ugly where lay the secret passage (or slippery slide) to the village of Dufftown. Little did they know that they had chosen the same day to visit the small area as Hogwarts' 'it' couple, Anna and Caradoc. Neither did they know that the very same night, the front page of the _Evening Prophet _would bare the headline _Death Eaters attack muggle dwelling of Dufftown. Fifty feared dead. _

_

* * *

_

* * *

_AN - _Sorry for the evil cliffie ending... kinda. lol  
Yeah, very bits and pieces chapter. I just realised i forgot to write Lily's occlumency diary after she and james get intimate. it was going to be followed by a very entertaining response by harry. but i'd forgotten and im too tired now and i just want to post this. so i'll pop it in later after all the up-and-coming drama.  
NB Anna and Caradoc are quoting a meatloaf song called 'you took the words right out of my mouth' and just so you all know i drew several floorplans of james' mansion before i could write about it, just to make it as real as possible :P it's no wonder i haven't posted in ages!

Dedications - to March babies, particularly my sister (Mrs Rotchester) who was on the 6th and Ellie who was on the 15th.  
Also this is dedicated to every single on of you reviewing this crazy shmozle. I really really appreciate the time and effort you put into your reviews!!! please please please keep them coming. This story is winding down and i really want to hit 1000 reviews before it finishes!

Thanks again for reading and stay tuned for updates. I've already written several pages of the next chapter so i promise the wait won't be long!

Til next time, happy fanficcing :)

ps if you have any suggestions as to who may or may not survive/be threatened/get injured in dufftown let me know. i already have an idea but your suggestions are always welcome :)


	48. The Death Toll of Dufftown

**Disclaimer:** Nope, it's not mine :( well, the fanfic is, but not JK's setting/characters, etc. 'Tis a pity, but what can you do?

AN - Shorter chapter than usual but I wanted to leave it as a cliffie (chuckles evilly) so as to torment my readers. Lol, just kidding. but it is a slight cliff-hanger so be sure to review and i will post the next chapter within 48 hours (it's already written - even I couldn't handle the suspense!)  
Additionally, i wrote this instead of my history homework and journalism readings so i hope you ENJOY! :)

* * *

PREVIOUSLY: Individual Easter holidays - Cat and Sirius at the safe-house, Lily and James at both their houses (they had sex, in case anyone forgot), Anna and Caradoc had a run in with some Slytherins and Remus and Claire had an argument. The last two couples decided to go to Dufftown for the weekend before school goes back. Chapter closed with a newspaper headline: _Death Eaters attack muggle dwelling of Dufftown. Fifty feared dead._

* * *

**Chapter 47 - The Death Toll of Dufftown**

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

I can't believe we slept together!

* * *

At this point, Harry cried out in shock, throwing the diary across the room.

"Bloody hell, Harry!" Ron exclaimed, "What was that for?"

Harry was unable to speak; he was too busy rubbing his eyes repeatedly as though they were burning. Hermione picked up the discarded diary, opening it to the page Harry had creased in his frenzy. After a moment of speed reading she laughed.

"It's not funny," Harry moaned, now rocking back and forth slightly.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione chuckled sympathetically.

"What is it?" Ron asked, grabbing the diary, Ginny reading over his shoulder. Ron snorted loudly and Ginny hit him upside the head. "Sorry, mate," he amended, "No one should have to read that about their parents."

Harry simply groaned and continued to massage his eye sockets in anguish, while the girls rolled their eyes and Ron continued to snigger.

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary Continued

I mean, logically speaking, it makes sense. He's a boy, I'm a girl, we're in love and all that. But it just seems so… surreal. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be doing _this _with James Potter I would never have believed it. In fact, I probably would've hexed the person into oblivion. But it just seems so… right. And good, you know?

What am I asking you for? As previously established, you are a journal and therefore cannot respond!

But it was… nice. Okay, nice doesn't exactly sum it up. Maybe a more appropriate word would be… indescribable. Because that makes perfect sense.

In other news, we're still at my house. We're leaving this afternoon for Hogwarts - we'll apparate to Hogsmeade and walk back. That way, we have time for some last minute shopping.

From what my prankster of a boyfriend has been saying, he'll need to stock up on Zonko's products. I didn't want to know, so I didn't ask - less incriminating for me later. I, myself, happen to need some chocolate. They say it's no substitute but it'll have to do seeing as how I flat out refuse to break that particular school rule, especially when there are so many nosy portraits about the place. In this case the walls really do have ears.

I'd better go pack, and probably find James. Who knows what he's up to by now.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Dufftown, a certain blonde and her Ravenclaw boyfriend had just checked in at a muggle bed-and-breakfast.

As Anna took the room keys from the receptionist, Caradoc quietly pondered his circumstances. He could hardly believe his luck. He had actually managed to get his girlfriend of just over a month to agree to spend the night with him away from school. Then it dawned on him - only a month.

"You don't think we're moving too fast, do you?" he asked. Anna stopped on her way up the narrow staircase.

"Too fast? Caradoc, you know me," she said with a sad smile, "There's no such thing as too fast."

This stopped Caradoc in his tracks. He knew Anna had a reputation - he had seen it firsthand - but he didn't realise that it affected her in such a way.

"I think you're selling yourself short," he replied, "You're not the easy girl you think you are."

"Clearly I am," Anna said, holding up the keys and shaking her head. "It's just who I am, I can't help it. I can't change, though… I don't think I want to."

"You're getting me all wrong, Anna," the quidditch-player frowned. "I don't want you to change; I think you're perfect. But I didn't bring you here tonight necessarily to sleep with you."

"Oh, really?"

"Honestly. I mean, clearly that would be a bonus but I don't expect it and I certainly won't blame you if you're not ready. It has only been a month, after all."

"Not ready?" Anna snorted in disbelief. "Do you know how many guys I've gone through? How many I wasn't even dating at the time?"

"I know you think of yourself as the female version of Sirius Black," Caradoc said firmly, "But you _have_ changed even if you don't realise it. I think you'd only be close with someone if you felt something for them."

"Is that so?"

Caradoc nodded confidently.

"You know I don't…" she paused awkwardly. "I don't _love _you, just yet, right?" she looked at him through her lashes. His expression didn't show any of the anguish he was feeling inside. "I mean, I care for you," she amended hastily, "I do! I care for you a lot. It's just that I don't necessarily… love you just yet."

"It's okay, Anna, I get it," he interrupted gently when it looked as if she would go on. "You don't love me, but you care for me."

"Yes," she replied tentatively.

"That just proves my point - you have changed. I reckon if you didn't care about me then we wouldn't even be here."

"But I still don't-"

"It's okay," he repeated, "But you have to understand, I feel a bit stronger about you than you do about me, just so you know."

"Do you-?"

"Yes, Anna, I do," he smiled, and Anna felt her heart give a strange sputtering squeeze. "But enough chat," he continued, "Let's see what this room is like, ey?"

Later that afternoon, having tested their room and deciding it was satisfactory, the pair returned downstairs to have tea in the café part of the establishment. Sipping her tea, Anna was preoccupied with the thought that maybe she had underestimated her feelings for Caradoc when a familiar pair opened the nearby door, letting in a draught of cool air.

"Oh," was all Caradoc could say, looking at Claire and Remus who stood in the doorway.

"What are they doing here?" Anna wondered aloud. A second later and both newcomers had noticed Hogwarts' 'it' couple at the table in the corner - the rest of the room was quite empty.

"It'd be rude not to say hello," Remus said quietly. Claire nodded, fixing upon her face a smile that she hoped didn't look as fake as it felt.

"Hi guys, what're you doing here?" she asked as they drew nearer, her tone of interest only slightly marred by accusation.

"Just enjoying the last bit of freedom," Caradoc said amiably. "Would you like to join us?"

"Umm…" Claire looked at Remus, hoping he would say no.

"Sure. We're not in any hurry," Remus agreed, seating himself next to Caradoc and across from Anna, who added more sugar to her tea and stirred quietly.

"So… what have you guys been up to? What brings you to the only muggle town for miles?" Caradoc questioned with a smile.

"Same reason as you two, I think," Claire contributed. "Had to get away from the castle for a bit."

In actual fact, Claire and Remus had been arguing for most of the time they'd been in the town. Firstly it was over little things like where they were going to go, who would win the quidditch cup, etc. Then it escalated into a confrontation about their relationship. Claire had said she didn't want to talk about it and Remus had suggested that they take a moment to calm down and have some afternoon tea.

"I thought you were going away for the holiday?" Anna asked politely.

"Well, we did, but we came back early," Claire replied, not mentioning the fact that Remus had come back nearly a week earlier than she had - he was such a recluse that Anna probably hadn't even noticed.

But Anna was more observant than Claire gave her credit for.

She also noticed the slight tremor in the earth as Remus reached for the milk.

"What was that?" she asked in a tight voice.

"What was what?" Caradoc replied.

Then the whole establishment shook and their cups went crashing to the ground.

"Death Eaters," Anna and Remus said in unison.

The pair had been in a similar situation before; it was when Hogsmeade had been attacked in January and they, along with Sirius and Cat, had rushed to the scene to help fight with Lily and James.

"Are you kidding?" Caradoc said incredulously, although he knew they must be right. What else could cause such a quake other than dark magic.

"Remus, if this is a joke it's not funny!" Claire squeaked.

"It's not a joke," Remus said in a low voice. "We have to get out of here. Now!"

Anna paled. "I left my wand upstairs."

"There's no time-" Caradoc began.

"I'm not going out there unprotected," Anna cried, hurrying up the stairs.

"We'll meet you in the back alley," Caradoc yelled, moving towards the doorway, Claire hot on his heels.

"We need to help the muggles," Remus muttered, loitering awkwardly near the foot of the stairs, uneasy to leave Anna alone.

"There's not enough of us," Caradoc reasoned, "If we try, we'll be killed." Claire whimpered pathetically.

"Then someone needs to send for Dumbledore."

"Done," the other boy replied, sending his patronus swiftly towards the school. "ANNA HURRY UP!" he yelled.

"Coming," Anna replied, halfway down the stairs when-

POP

"See, I knew there was wizards in here," sneered a cloaked man who had just apparated into the centre of the room, flanked by a second shorter man.

"He can smell the magic, see?" jeered the second man.

"And I reckon you lot are a long way from Hogwarts, ey Rosier?"

"What shall we do with such truants?" mocked Rosier, fingering his wand idly.

Caradoc was trying desperately to get Anna to go back upstairs as she hadn't yet come into view - he thought that if he yelled it loud enough in his head she might hear. Unfortunately for him, she was not a mind reader and was frozen on the staircase in fear.

Remus, however, had thought ahead and had wordlessly placed a clear barrier on the stairs so that the Death Eaters would not be able to go up.

Claire, who was almost in tears with fear - for she had never before been in a real life and death situation - made to edge out the door but was bound in an instant by the first Death Eater's cry of '_Incarcerous_!'

"_Expelliarmus_!" Remus and Caradoc yelled in unison, but only Remus managed to disarm his opponent. The tall one still had his wand and began firing curses at Caradoc, who dodged them as best he could. Meanwhile, Remus quickly muttered the counter-curse for Claire.

"Why you snotty, little brat! Think you can disarm Antonin Dolohov and get away with it, ey? _Expelliarmus!_"

Caradoc felt the bottom drop out of his stomach as he saw his wand fly towards the triumphant Death Eater. He felt terrible doing it - cowardly and low - but he took the brief pause in the action to push his way out the door, grabbing Claire by the hand as he did so.

Remus was silently relieved; it was two less people to look after. He was top of the class in Defence - along with James and Sirius - but it would be enough work taking on two Death Eaters alone, let alone trying to protect Anna and any muggles in the vicinity.

He and Dolohov were circling each other slowly, each waiting for the other to attack. Remus tried the non-verbal body bind, but it was blocked deftly by his skilled adversary. Then the spells came thick and fast and the duellers moved fluidly about one another. Rosier looked on eagerly, waiting for the school kid to slip up. It was when he began calling out encouragement to his ally that Remus stunned him and put him in a body bind. Dolohov roared in rage. But Remus' sensitive hearing picked up on something else - a loud pop from upstairs. A cold chill ran down his spine but he continued to hex as though his life depended on it… which it did, really.

Then he heard a loud scream from upstairs. Pausing in his offensive only momentarily, Remus felt his wand fly out of his hand. Dolohov cackled loudly.

"Seems like one of ours found your little friend." He aimed the wand at Remus, "Now I think it's time I had some fun… _Cruc-_"

But he was interrupted as Remus charged him, tackling him to the ground with all his latent werewolf strength. Remus certainly wasn't one to use his fists to solve a problem, but as he laid punch after punch into Dolohov's bruised and bleeding face, he couldn't help but think that this method would often save him a lot of time. Although he tried to aim his wand to somehow curse the teenager off of him, Remus' strong grip prevented any such event from occurring. One final blow to the head rendered the hideous man unconscious and Remus recovered his wand, snapping the two belonging to the Death Eaters, and hurrying silently up the staircase.

"Please, please stop," he heard a voice - Anna's voice - whimpering from behind a closed door.

"Not until you tell me what I need to know," came another horribly familiar voice, high-pitched and babyish.

"I don't know anything about the Order!" Anna yelled angrily, glaring at Bellatrix from her crumpled position on the floor.

"Then tell me about Potter and Evans! Are they members? Where is the Headquarters? How do they recruit?" Bella snapped.

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"_Crucio!_" Bella yelled wildly. Remus rounded the corner and was able to see through a crack in the door - his ex-girlfriend being tortured by his best friend's Death Eater cousin. He didn't know what to do. Disarm Bella when surely more Death Eaters would be turning up soon to prevent his and Anna's escape - which would be difficult enough considering she's been tortured, confront Bella and try to work out why she needs information about the Order, leave the pair and get proper help, go and help the muggles running and screaming in the streets as their world crumbled around them. Instinctively he knew what he had to do but he knew it was going to end badly.

"_Expelliarmus_!" Remus said, deftly grabbing Bellatrix's wand.

"What!?" Bella spluttered. "What are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from killing Anna, of course," Remus replied smoothly, nodding at Anna to get up. She scrambled to her feet, eyeing Bella warily even though she wasn't nearly as powerful without her wand. "Why are you here, Bella? On his orders again, are we? Voldemort's little lap dog?"

"How dare you!" the woman spat dangerously, "I am his most loyal servant. He will reward me above all others when-"

"When what? You tell him that you couldn't get anything about the Order out of a teenage girl? I doubt it," Remus replied with cool disdain, his wand still trained on the witch. "You know, Bella, you were quite a bright witch once. I really do wonder what happened to make you a mindless follower," Remus continued, unsure as to why he was purposely riling up such a volatile and unpredictable enemy. He suspected that it was because he had decided that their chances of getting caught escaping and being killed on the spot were fairly high, so why not go out with a bang?

Bella screeched and lunged at the wizard.

"_Impedimenta! Petrificus Totalus_!" Remus shouted. "Come on, Anna, let's go." He grabbed her hand and pulled her gently but quickly down the hallway.

They raced as quietly as they could through the empty halls and down the stairs of the building, neither one stopping to wonder where all the muggles had gone. Once they were outside they snuck to the back alley where, surprisingly, Caradoc and Claire were still waiting for them.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Caradoc exhaled, running forward to wrap Anna in a hug. She allowed herself to be held, sobbing a little into his shoulder.

"You're bleeding," Claire said to Remus, holding up her wand to mend the cuts on his face and arms.

"It's alright, Claire. Just leave it," he replied brusquely. She recoiled from his as though she'd been slapped.

"I guess that settles things, then," she murmured sadly.

"I guess so," Remus agreed.

"Why?" she whispered. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. You just care for the wrong reasons," he whispered hastily. "I'm nothing more than a charity case to you-"

"That's not true," she interrupted without much conviction.

"Even if it wasn't, I don't feel about you how I used to. Sorry," he added, feeling that maybe in the heat of the moment he had been too sharp with her.

"It's because of her, isn't it?" Claire accused, narrowing her eyes.

Remus didn't reply, which Claire took as confirmation of her suspicions. "I see."

"No, you don't-" he reached out to her, trying to explain, but she just pulled her arm away from his.

"We really have to go," she said loudly, so that Caradoc and Anna would hear.

"How are we going to get back?" Caradoc asked. "I'm pretty sure they will have cast an anti-apparation jinx over the entire town."

"Then we have to get out of town, don't we?" Remus said, losing his patience.

"Right, follow me," Claire said, leading the way down the alley and turning left at the end. Caradoc followed, pulling the not-so-fragile Anna by the hand. Remus brought up the rear, protecting them all from behind. Anna surreptitiously slipped her fingers through his - not in a seductive way but rather in a protective I-don't-want-to-lose-you kind of way. Remus' fickle heart raced at the contact and he mentally chided himself for being so stupid.

Then, quite suddenly, the side of the building they were passing exploded, showering them all with debris.

"Run!" Claire screamed, pointing at the now visible cloaked figures who seemed to be torturing a bunch of muggles and destroying their buildings.

By now the Death Eaters - there were roughly eight of them - had noticed the young wizards with their wands out and several of them gave chase. The teens scattered instinctively; Caradoc and Claire seemed to go one way, while Anna and Remus went the other. Luckily for the Gryffindors, the Death Eaters seemed preoccupied with following their Ravenclaw counterparts.

"Why aren't they following us?" Anna panted, still holding onto Remus' hand.

"I don't know and I don't suggest we stick around to find out," he replied, dragging her along.

"Please can we stop. Everything hurts," Anna moaned and Remus, remembering that she had in fact been tortured that afternoon, noticed how pale she was. He swiftly pulled her into an alcove and performed disillusionment charms on them both. They had been sitting for a few moments by the time Anna's heavy breathing had subsided and a bit of colour had returned to her cheeks.

"I wish we had James' cloak," she breathed, "It'd make this so much easier."

"Do you think the Ministry's on it's way yet?" Remus replied, his keen eyes scanning the street for movement.

"They must be. It's been ages," Anna replied, leaning heavily back on Remus. He automatically wrapped his arms around her. Behind her, Anna could feel the lycanthrope's heart rate increase. This puzzled her.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, swivelling to look him in the eye.

"I'm fine," Remus lied.

Not wanting to indulge her over-active imagination, Anna let the subject drop.

"We should get going," Remus said soon after, pulling Anna to her feet. Stealing down the street, they stayed to the sides, trying desperately not to draw attention to themselves.

"I hope Caradoc and Claire are alright," Anna murmured worriedly. "They had all those people after them."

"They're Ravenclaws, Anna, I'm sure they thought of something. They probably made it back to the secret passage in plenty of time."

"What's that?"

"What's what?" Remus asked tensely.

"Over there? Is that, oh Merlin, they're hurt!" Anna cried. Her brave and caring side took over as she sprinted across the street to the steps of what was once a muggle bank and dropped to her knees beside a small whimpering figure.

"ANNA, NO!" Remus called, but it was too late. The disillusionment charm had worn off, and the child she had run over to help was virtually catatonic. As she helped it to it's feet, there was an almighty BOOM as the building behind them exploded, large chunks of marble flying everywhere, fire erupting from every doorway and window. "ANNA!"

* * *

"I wonder where they are? They were supposed to be here half an hour ago?" Cat wondered aloud. She and Sirius were waiting in front her fireplace for the aurors that were supposed to escort them back to Hogwarts via the floo network.

"And after all the fuss they made about us being on time," Sirius grumbled, wanting nothing more than to get back to his beloved quidditch pitch. He actually felt a physical longing to be on a broom again.

"Oh, can it. It's not like we had anything better to do," Cat asserted, flopping down on the couch.

"We didn't, did we…?" Sirius grinned slyly.

"We still don't - get that look off your face. We've been caught once already, I will not have it happen again," Cat blushed, thinking about when her mother and brother had caught them snogging in the kitchen.

"I brought you some tea, dears," Celia said, bustling into the room with a tray of biscuits and piping hot tea. "Something has probably come up, in which case it might be a while before you get going."

"Thanks, Mrs Jones," Sirius said politely, grabbing a ginger newt and popping the whole thing in his mouth. Celia just chuckled and left the room.

"What sort of thing do you think has come up?" Cat wondered with a frown. "I hope it's not something serious."

"It can't be. We'd know about it if it was," Sirius said with confidence he didn't possess.

Cat simply sighed and turned on the television. It was time for the muggle news. Cat sat on the floor in front of Sirius on the couch, and he played with her hair. Neither of them were really paying any attention until they heard the word Dufftown. Both tuned in at this, for they knew it's proximity to Hogwarts and it was likely that news there may affect both Hogsmeade and their school.

"_Reports are coming in now of a massive earthquake in Dufftown of all places. According to Mike Monash, a seismologist with Cambridge University, it is very rare that any part of the British Isles suffer from earthquakes - in particular, Scotland, which is well clear of any major fault lines._

_'The earthquake is definitely an anomaly, one of many that Great Britain have seen in the past few months along with unseasonable fog and unexpectedly violent windstorms. The weather patterns are changing and the people of places like Dufftown are suffering the consequences.'_

_The National Guard have been called in to assist with alleviating the troubles of inhabitants, as are local fire fighting crews and police. However, it is feared that over fifty people in the small town of just seven hundred, may be dead."_

Cat looked up at Sirius, horror-struck. "That wasn't an earthquake, was it?"

Sirius shook his head, swallowing, "We don't have any proof that it's what we think it was," he said.

"Maybe you should call James. He'd be back at Hogwarts by now, wouldn't he? If it's anything related to our world, they'll know about it."

"Good thinking, ninety-nine," Sirius said, reaching into his back pocket for the two-way mirror. "James?"

James' face appeared in the mirror. "What's up Pads? Aren't you supposed to be back at Hogwarts by now?"

"Aren't you?" Sirius quipped.

"Slight delay in our travel plans. Mrs Evans decided that we needed a final meal so we're apparating back tomorrow morning. We're going to miss out on Hogsmeade but, well, secret passages and all that."

Sirius chuckled nervously. "Are you okay, Pads, you look a bit pale?"

"Cat and I were just watching the muggle news and we heard about some strange earthquake in Dufftown. Wouldn't have thought anything of it if it wasn't for the location. Have you heard anything your end?"

"Nope, we're still at Lily's, though, that might be why. But I think Lily's owl is due with the evening post any minute. How about I call you back if we read anything?"

"Sure, thanks mate. It's probably nothing," Sirius grinned.

"Probably. See you soon." And James' face faded.

"No news is good news, right?" Sirius said, trying to comfort Cat, who still looked uneasy.

"I guess… I just have this horrible feeling that something's gone wrong," she frowned. Then she shook her head. "Let's watch some cartoons instead; the news is boring."

"James!" came Lily's voice from down the corridor. Just from the urgent yet wobbly tone of her voice, he knew something had happened. He stood up swiftly and went to meet her.

"What is it, Lils?" he asked in what he hoped was a comforting voice.

She just shoved the _Evening Prophet_ under his nose so that he could see the headline: _Death Eaters attack muggle dwelling of Dufftown. Fifty feared dead. _

James swore loudly.

"It gets worse," Lily said, trying not to cry.

"How?"

"Anna owled me this afternoon and told me that she and Caradoc were going to stay the night there."

"In Dufftown?"

"She wanted me to cover for her if… if they got delayed coming back," Lily sobbed, throwing her arms around James. He stroked her hair with one hand, pulling out his mirror with the other.

"Sirius! It's bad!"

"Prongs?"

"Dufftown was attacked by Death Eaters. They reckon there's going to be a lot of casualties."

Sirius swore softly, and James could read the horror in his eyes. "Mate, it gets worse," Sirius said.

"What?"

"Remus owled me this afternoon. He told me he and Claire needed to get away from the castle and that they were going there to talk things over."

"That's all four of them! Anna and Caradoc are there, too."

"Shit! We need to get there. We have to help!"

"Two steps ahead of you. Make a portkey - they'll have blocked apparation. Meet you at the end of Tranmere Place in two minutes, got it?"

Sirius nodded, putting down the mirror and grabbing Cat.

"We've got to go!"

"To Dufftown? Won't the aurors have been and gone by now?"

"I don't know and it doesn't matter. We have to see what happened to Moony and Anna."

"Okay," Cat replied, putting on her business face, "I'll just tell mum what happened and what to do with our luggage."

* * *

Two minutes later, Lily, James, Sirius and Cat were assembled at the end of Tranmere place, a street minutes away from the main shopping strip in Dufftown.

"It's going to be bad," Sirius observed darkly, surveying the ruins of the formerly quaint muggle town.

"How many of them do you think there were?" Cat asked as they moved cautiously down the street.

"Must've been loads, the amount of damage they've done," Sirius replied - the conversation was the only thing keeping his mind off what they might find. Moony, eyes open wide, dead. Anna, limbs every which way, no longer breathing. Claire or Caradoc, their new friends, gone in an instant. Sirius shuddered, the ordeal made worse by the knowledge that his family had most likely had a part in the attack.

"Can we please just find Moony?" James pleaded, quickening his pace. Lily felt as though she may vomit - the thought of finding Anna grievously injured, or worse, was playing terribly on her conscience.  
She and James had been so caught up in each other - and Cat with Sirius, for that matter - that they had basically forced their friend into Caradoc's company and, therefore, into this whole situation. Lily in her sane mind would know that her guilt was not rational or logical, but for the moment she was unable to see that. But she resolved to stay strong, if not for her friends or James, then for herself. Because Lily Evans was not one to be intimidated by Death Eaters or their actions.

At the end of the street the group could see swarms of people. Given that the incident had had time to be reported in the newspaper, it must've been at least a few hours since the initial attack. The people hurrying about in the main street comprised of aurors, ministry officials, medi-witches, the wounded and the confused. Muggles were being obliviated left, right and centre, then taken away to hospital for a few days.

From what Lily could see, there were several stretchers bearing those only mildly wounded. The seriously damaged ones would be at St Mungo's already.

"THERE HE IS!" James shouted in relief, for he had spotted their blood-stained friend. Remus lay on a stretcher, his head bandaged, along with his hands, his torso and his right leg which had a splint attached to it. The teens rushed over to him, making sure not to disturb any of the other invalids or gain the attention of the officials.

"Moony," Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, "You're alive!" But on closer inspection, their friend did not look too well. He was pale as a sheet, his breathing was very shallow and his eyes would not cease moving in their sockets. He was looking about wildly as if searching for someone.

"Remus, are you alright?" Lily asked soothingly.

"I couldn't save her, I just wasn't quick enough. I couldn't… I couldn't. It was so fast… it just collapsed. And there was blood. So, so much blood," he wheezed, tears leaking out of his eyes. "So much blood!" He began to sob brokenly.

"Mate, it's okay, we're here now. Everything's going to be fine," Sirius soothed.

"Who couldn't you save?" whispered Cat. Remus _had _been with Claire, after all. There was hope that he wasn't talking about...

"Anna," he croaked, his face twisted with anguish.

* * *

AN - *chuckles evilly*  
Let me know what you would like to happen even though it won't make a difference in all likelihood :D  
The sooner you review, the sooner I update :)  
Harry was slightly ott in this chapter but i could see him throwing the diary across the room, even if it's not something he would necessarily do.  
Additionally, I hope the Remus-Claire situation wasn't too drastic a turn-around. It's been building for a while, now.

Please Review and I hope you enjoyed the chappie - HAPPY FANFICCING! :)

Ps Sorry I didn't reply to all your reviews - i accidently put them in my fanfic folder (which is where i put ones i've replied to) and forgot about them. Your reviews mean so much to me and really encourage me to keep writing so thank you so much and keep 'em coming :P


	49. Do You Want the Bad News First?

**Chapter 48 - Do You Want the Bad News First?**

"Who couldn't you save?" whispered Cat.

"Anna," he croaked, his face twisted with anguish.

"Oh my-" Cat whispered as she fainted into Sirius' arms. Lily was simply dumbstruck. She was numb. It wasn't possible that Anna could be… that she could have…

"Excuse me," she murmured, stumbling blindly through the crowd. She ran to the edge of the road and vomited into the gutter. Placing a hand over her mouth, she tried to control the grief that welled up inside her. She was having trouble breathing. In fact, she was hyperventilating.

"Lily? Lily Evans?"

Lily spun around to see the familiar, slightly comforting face of Dorcas Meadows peering at her with concern.

"Dorcas," Lily croaked, "Hi."

"Tell me you weren't at this attack, too?" the witch said raising an eyebrow in disbelief, "That would be too unfortunate."

"No, I wasn't," Lily replied, wishing so much that she had been. That way she would've been able to protect her friends properly. "My friends were here, though." She turned and threw up again. "Sorry," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Was it bad news?" Dorcas asked sympathetically.

"My friend, Anna Brown-"

"Brown was taken to St Mungo's," Dorcas piped up, only too happy to offer this information.

"What?" Lily demanded, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her yet again.

"She was unconscious when they found her and she had lost a lot of blood. But a bit of fast charm work by yours truly and she seemed to still be breathing at least. Boy they found her with was distraught, though."

"Remus Lupin?"

"Yeah, that's him over there," Dorcas pointed to Remus' stretcher. "He was in shock last time I checked, I don't think he's fully aware of what's going on. I think he thinks that Brown's gone. Nothing I could say changed his mind."

"So… Anna is definitely still alive, then?" Lily asked, not allowing herself to hope.

"Definitely," Dorcas beamed, "The death toll wasn't as high as they made it out to be in the paper - it was a very rushed report, after all."

"Do you know about Claire Samuels or Caradoc Dearborn?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Let's see. Dearborn is the cute quidditch player, yes?" Lily nodded. "I'm pretty sure he legged it with some of the other visitors. Had a girl with him - plaits?"

"That sounds like them. Why would they run?"

"Lily, you need to understand that not everyone is as brave as you and James. Not everyone thinks that this is a cause worth fighting for. Some would rather ensure their own safety."

"But they left Anna and Remus-" Lily said, repulsed by the idea of abandoning your friends.

"They were probably separated. In any case, Anna will probably live - thanks to my quick charm work - and Remus, if he ever snaps out of it, will be right as rain soon enough."

"Thank you, Dorcas!" Lily cried, embracing the slightly older girl with as much emotion as she could muster.

"Any time, Evans," Dorcas grinned, patting her on the back. "Got to go, things to do, you know how it is."

"One last question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"What is it exactly that you do? I mean, I know you're a member of the you-know-what, but you aren't an auror; how come you're here?"

"I'm with the Ministry: Department of Mysteries, experimental charm division. But I was here on Dumbledore's orders before the Ministry's. He always seems to know things first."

"Right, yeah. I'll see you around probably. And thanks again," Lily said hurriedly as she ran over to tell her friends the good news.

James' tear-streaked face broke into a grin and Sirius hurriedly shook Cat awake to tell her. Needless to say, all of them were ecstatic to hear that their friends were alive. That is, except for Remus, who didn't seem to understand a word that was being said, and continued to mutter to himself about 'too much blood' until he was finally whisked away to the hospital.

"He will get better, won't he?" James asked anxiously.

"Of course he will, mate," Sirius reassured. "He just needs time, is all."

"Right you are, Mister Black." The four teens turned around at the sound of their Headmaster's voice.

"Why is it that I always find you four at the centre of a disaster?" Dumbledore sighed dramatically.

"Bad timing?" James guessed.

"I rather think not, Mister Potter, but I would be very much obliged if you could all make your way back up to the castle and out of the Ministry's way. I should not like for their investigations and clean up to be interrupted by my students. I'm sure there's a secret passage or tunnel of some description that you will find."  
The students just nodded obediently.

"Then I bid you good evening-"

"Wait! Sir, when can we visit Anna and Remus?" Lily asked, green eyes wide.

"As soon as they are settled in at the hospital. I will have them owl you as soon as that time comes and you will see Professor McGonagall about transport. Good evening."

With various thank-yous and goodnights, the four tired, although by no means sleepy, Gryffindors returned to Hogwarts where they would await the news of their close friends.

* * *

Needless to say, the first week back after Easter was a glum one. The four Gryffindors had been allowed to visit both Remus and Anna at St Mungo's two days after the accident.

Remus was at least lucid now and could understand what was going on. He was relieved that Anna had survived, but still felt incredibly guilty for not getting to her in time to prevent the building from collapsing on top of her. She had been crushed in the accident - her rib cage completely compressed - and she had been hit on the head by a chunk of marble, hence the volume of blood that the girl had lost.

Anna had been in an induced coma for several days. While the healers had mended her broken ribs and alleviated the pressure on her brain to stop the bleeding, she still wasn't functioning without their help - she was unable to wake-up on her own.

Caradoc was there every day. He had been excused - with a note from his parents - from all classes and had sat by Anna's bed since she had arrived, hoping against hope that she would wake up soon. Lily's guilt from before was nothing compared to what Caradoc was going through. The constant stream of 'what ifs' and persistence of his conscience shaming his cowardice had made the man a complete wreck. He left the room only when Anna was visited by Lily and Cat, who couldn't bear to look at the boy that had abandoned their friend.

**

* * *

**

Sirius' Occlumency Diary

The last time I wrote in this stupid thing was when we thought Cat might be pregnant.

When I look back and think how trivial all that stuff was…

Although, of course, it wasn't trivial at the time. I guess it's all about perspective. What's that muggle saying? Your hindsight's always 20:20?

Well, I was thinking about that today. I was also thinking about priorities.

We should've been there for Moony, that day. Heck, that whole week! It was like we were all in our own little bubbles - me with Cat, Prongs with Evans. And we didn't even realise that our friend needed us.

Whatever happened to the Marauder's code of honour? Best mates forever? Bros before hoes?

Who could have predicted that three girls - three bloody wonderful, talented witches - could break up the best pranking quartet that Hogwarts has ever seen?

I don't want to blame them. It's not their fault, I guess. Maybe it's a part of growing up? I just feel so guilty that we weren't there for Remus. What sort of friends are we anyway?

Which brings me back to priorities: bros before hoes. Next time, Marauders come first!

I've been to plenty of attack-zones (for want of a better word) before. I mean, James and I practically attract trouble and plus his Dad's an auror so we get first hand information and usually get to the scene after the action has gone, sometimes to help clean up (not that David knows any of this!)

But I have never, not even when we came close to facing the Dark Lord in Hogsmeade, been as bloody scared as I was then. Seeing Moony all laid out on that stretcher. It wasn't his injuries - he's had a lot worse. It was the look on his face; in his eyes. That tormented what-have-I-done look. I've only seen him come close to that expression once - after we told him what nearly happened with Snivellus back in fifth year. That was awful that was. I just…

Anyway, Moony knows that Anna's okay now. Well, as okay as you can be if you're in a coma that not even magic can bring you out of. But that look is still there in his eyes. It's like his guilt is eating away at him from the inside. It's painful to watch.

I have to speak with Prongs about this. There has to be something I, _we_, can do.

* * *

"I heard that You-Know-Who got her himself."

"I heard that it was that Bellatrix Black from a few years ago. Remember her? With the mad hair?"

"She's a Lestrange now, she married that Rudolphus guy a while ago. But I don't reckon it was her. I heard Brown won't wake up. Only You-Know-Who is that strong!"

"I'll bet you five sickles it was Bellatrix!"

"Deal."

"Word is Dearborn is beside himself."

"My sister's on the Ravenclaw team; she said that he's cancelled quidditch training for the whole week!"

"No way! He must be _really_ upset."

"He is. My sister's boyfriend is friends with him and he reckons he hasn't left St Mungo's since last weekend."

"Wow, he must really like her. Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah… I wonder what's for lunch?"

"I _hate_ everyone gossiping about it. It's driving me mad!" Cat muttered to Lily as the two gossipy fourth years made for the Great Hall.

"All this speculation is just going to make Voldemort more powerful," Lily worried. "If people think it was him that did it to Anna, which we both know it wasn't, then it makes him more real. People will think he's coming after them individually."

"But isn't it good that they know? I mean, he _is _coming after us all, technically."

"But that just makes people scared. Fear is too powerful a weapon for us to allow Voldemort to use it against us."

There was a thoughtful silence between the two.

"I'm scared, Lils," Cat said quietly. Knowing that an important conversation was about to take place, Lily grabbed Cat and pulled her inside an empty classroom.

"We're all scared, Cat, but we just have to get through it. He won't get to us, I promise."

"No. I'm not scared of _Him_," Cat replied quickly. "I'm scared for Anna. It's been a week! Those fourth years are right - it's a long time. What if she never wakes up?"

"Of course she-"

"Lily, be realistic," Cat interrupted sadly, "If magic can't get her out of that coma, what will?"

"We have to hope. What else is there?"

Cat sighed. "I'm so sick of this. I just want her to wake up and for things to go back to normal."

"Yeah, me too," Lily agreed glumly.

"Listen, I'm going to go down to the quidditch pitch. I need to blow off some steam. I'll see you later," Cat said, rushing out of the classroom.

Lily watched her go sadly. It seemed as if everything was just getting to be too much. Anna was comatose for an uncertain amount of time, Cat was emotionally wrought, James was blowing her off to spend time with the Marauders (who, he had explained, he had been neglecting of late) and to top it all off, there was a murderous raving lunatic out for her 'dirty' blood and all others like her. Not to mention her NEWTs were fast approaching and she and her fellow Gryffindors had done very little in the way of study.

_That's what I should be doing_, Lily thought to herself, _Study! I can't believe I've neglected it for so long. Anna would understand. If she were here she would be asking where nerdy Lily had gone. Study! That'll do it._ And with that thought, Lily rushed off to the library where she would spend the rest of her day and well into the evening.

**

* * *

**

Reconstruction in Dufftown begins while several remain missing

Reconstruction of the muggle village of Dufftown began in earnest today with seventeen Ministry delegates charged with the task of recreating, in perfect detail, the many buildings and establishments that were destroyed in last week's attack.

The latest spate of muggle torturing and persecution not only destroyed an entire village, but left fifteen muggles and three wizards dead. Many more were injured and some, including Hogwarts student Anna Brown, are still recovering in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.

More worryingly, twelve people are still missing from last weeks attack. Nine of them are muggles, whose names and photographs are being circulated in the muggle news as a part of an ongoing inquiry. However, three of them are residents of the nearby magical community of Hogsmeade: Harold Hodgins, Matilda Dukelow and Dymphna Furmage.

It is feared that these witches and wizards are currently in the custody of the Death Eaters responsible for the attacks. If anyone has any information that might lead to the whereabouts of these people, they should contact the auror office immediately.

* * *

Anna lay in the hospital bed as she had the whole week; motionless, pale, eyes shut with her blonde hair fanned out around her head like a halo. Anna's mother Jean worked as an on-call healer for the hospital, so she was able to visit regularly, but her father was abroad on Ministry business for the Department of Mysteries. Mostly, Anna's bed had been attended by various well wishers and admirers from Hogwarts, her best friends and Caradoc. He had not left her bedside since it was announced that they were unable to do anything.

His feelings for Anna were alarmingly strong; he had known he loved her, but it had crept up on him in a sneaky sort of way. When he had told her - just before they had gone to Dufftown - he had even surprised himself (although he worked hard not to let it show).

Now, however, guilt was all he had room to feel. He dully noted how even when on death's door Anna still managed to look beautiful, but this observation was tainted with the knowledge that he could've prevented the whole situation in the first place if he'd only stuck by her during the attack.

He leant forward, his head in his hands as had become his anguished custom, and he cursed himself over and over for not being braver. He cursed himself for not waiting for Anna at the bed and breakfast, for not rescuing her from their assailants, for not holding on tighter to her hand when they had fled. Those infinite 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' just went around and around in his head. But it wasn't self-pity he was feeling, it was self-loathing.

Caradoc was jerked roughly out of his tormented reverie by the sound of footsteps on the cold linoleum floor. He looked up to see a tired looking Remus Lupin entering the private room. Remus had not yet been in to see Anna, even though all the other Marauders had. He had buried himself in study and essays in the hope of distracting himself from the guilt that he, like Caradoc, felt for Anna's injuries. However, there comes a point when distractions are no longer enough, and Remus was at that point. He had to see her.

"Dearborn," he acknowledged, coming to stand on the other side of Anna's bed to where Caradoc was.

"Remus," the Ravenclaw replied quietly.

"How is she?" Remus asked, looking at Anna in a way that made Caradoc feel vaguely uncomfortable.

"No change," Caradoc sighed. "They still can't get her to wake up."

"I can't believe it ended up like this," Remus muttered, more to himself than to anyone in particular. But the other boy heard and decided to try to assuage his own guilt.

"Listen, Lupin, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He gestured at Anna's prone form. Remus' eyes were unreadable as he listened. "I just panicked and… I don't even know what happened. It was so quick."

"Quick," Remus echoed in agreement.

"I didn't know what to do. I just saw the open door and Claire trying to leave and it seemed to make sense. I feel awful."

"You feel awful," Remus nodded bitterly, derision creeping into his tone.

Caradoc seemed to notice this sudden hostility but proceeded none the less.

"I _am _sorry. I've never regretted anything-"

"You ran away," Remus interrupted softly, eyes flashing.

"I- what?"

"You ran away. You left her and went off with Claire when they were chasing us."

"I didn't have a choice. We went one way and didn't even realise you weren't following-"

"You left!" Remus accused hotly.

"Hey, calm down Lupin. As I recall, you didn't do much better than me," Caradoc defended angrily.

"At least I tried!" Remus cried, no longer trying to control his voice. "You just left her, you bloody coward!"

"_You_ let her get hurt! _You _should've done something!" Caradoc bellowed.

"If you hadn't buggered off, I wouldn't have had to!" Remus roared.

"You still love her, don't you?" Caradoc cried angrily, rising out of his chair, jabbing his finger at the werewolf.

"W-WHAT?" Remus splutter-roared, completely blind-sided by the question. "I, you - don't be ridiculous, Dearborn!"

"It's true, isn't it?" Caradoc said, returning to normal volumes but unable to keep the venom out of his voice. "You ditched her and now you want her back."

"She's my _friend_ so excuse me for caring about her," Remus shot back.

"It's more than that," the other stated firmly, folding his arms. "But it won't do you any good."

"I'm not the one that abandoned her in the middle of an attack," Remus replied acidly, unsure as to why he was competing with Caradoc when he was almost certain that he didn't feel for Anna in that way. _Almost _certain.

"That may be true," Caradoc conceded with a sigh, "And for that I will _never_ forgive myself. You don't go around fancying a girl for ages and then when you finally get it together _not _feel bad when it's partially your fault she's in a coma," he rambled. Then, with determined resolve, he added harshly "I may've let her down once, Lupin, but I've never broken her heart."

A cloud passed over Remus' features and he finally felt defeated - although the concept of competition was beyond him.

"Now I think it's time you left," Caradoc said icily, resuming his sitting position beside Anna and taking her hand in his. The lycanthrope merely turned on his heel and swiftly exited the room, just as a healer entered to see what all the fuss was about.

**

* * *

**

Remus' Occlumency Diary

He is completely and one hundred percent wrong. Surely I would know if I still felt that way for Anna, wouldn't I? I'm just so angry because it's my fault for not saving her - not getting her out in time. It was Dearborn's fault, too. In fact, he should be feeling worse than me right now - he's the one that abandoned his girlfriend in the middle of an attack. But I still feel responsible.

And she's a friend. Of course I'm going to be upset that she's comatose with a possible chance of no recovery. And, okay, maybe there are left over emotions (if Padfoot read this, he'd be calling me a girl at this point) from when we dated. It's not like it was casual dating, either. We were in love, I think.

I remember the first time I even thought about Anna that way. It was after I'd asked her to the Halloween Ball to prove to James and Sirius that I could get what they deemed a 'hot date'. It was shallow and stupid, but that night she really seemed interested in me - properly interested - and I started to notice more about her. I mean, not how gorgeous she is and whatnot - anyone can see that. I started to notice her genuine sense of humour, her easy interaction with the people around her, the way she seemed to treat me differently to how I'd seen her treat all the other guys she'd been with. She cut her beautiful hair short just to get my attention (or so she told me later on). Even though it grew back fairly rapidly, it's the thought that counts.

Of course, I'd been wrong to think of her this way. She wasn't perfect; she had kept secrets from me and she wasn't as accepting a person as her impression gave.

But then I think back to times like our snowball fight when she practically seduced me and then I asked her out and we became a couple. That was one of my best days at Hogwarts.

And then the whole Edmond-Triscombe-secret-keeping/Anna-rejecting-me-for-who-I-am thing… well, that was one of the worst weeks of my life.

I can't believe that all Dearborn had to do was suggest that I still love her and all these memories just come to the surface. What we had was… Claire and I never had it. We tried, but it just wasn't.

But… with Anna… I can't.

I won't.

It hurt enough the first time it didn't work out, I won't go through it a second.

Bloody hell! Why am I even hypothesising?

She is in a coma!

If and when she wakes up, there is no competition. Caradoc Dearborn is her boyfriend and I am nothing.

I don't even love her, for pity's sake!

…

Only… I think… I still do.

* * *

"I feel like I haven't seen you all week," James said as he and Lily walked down the now-familiar St Mungo's corridor to Anna's room.

"That's because you've been busy," the red head replied tersely, her ponytail swishing temptingly from side to side.

"Hey now, Lils, that's not true," James defended, succeeding in sliding his hand into hers when she wasn't expecting it. "Every time I've had a spare moment you were never in the common room our your dorm. I checked the map only to see you were in the library."

"And you're allergic to the library, are you? Do books make you break out in a rash?"

"I knew you wouldn't want to be disturbed from your study, that's all," James said, slightly hurt. "What's up with you, Lily?"

Lily sighed. "I'm sorry, James. I didn't mean to bite your head off. It's just this Anna thing… makes me, well, unhappy is an understatement."

"Don't worry," he gave her hand a squeeze, "It'll be okay."

Lily silently disagreed with him in her head and proceeded over to the single bed in the middle of the room.

"Hey, Anna. How are you doing today?" she whispered, brushing her hand in a motherly way across her usually vibrant, bouncy friend's forehead.

James watched her from the foot of the bed, a frown creasing between his brows. He could see how much this was cutting Lily up inside. He just wanted Anna to wake up already. Or if she didn't, maybe it would be better… No. James wouldn't allow himself to think of it like that - it wasn't right. He just couldn't help but wonder that if Lily - in fact, if they all - had a definite answer (she was alright or she won't ever wake up or she's no longer with us) it would be better. If Anna wasn't going to make it then at least they could have some closure and grieve properly.

But of course, this was a highly immoral thing to be thinking and as a Gryffindor, James thought it the height of disloyalty to ever wish ill upon one's friend for the sake of another. This confusing train of thought ended when Lily asked James for the vase.

"Vase? What vase?"

"The vase I told you to bring to put the flowers in," Lily replied shortly.

"You didn't tell me to bring one," James replied in confusion.

"Yes, I did! I clearly remember saying 'James, don't forget the vase' right before we left the dorm."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I'm sure I did!"

"Well, in any case, _you_ forgot the flowers," James replied, the numerous sleep-disturbed nights turning him into a grumpy toddler.

"I was going to conjure them when we got here."

"Well, why can't I just conjure a vase then?"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" James replied hotly, waving his wand in a haphazard fashion to produce a lumpy looking jug. Lily promptly waved her wand in a more controlled manner and a bunch of yellow and pink orchids appear in the pathetic excuse for a vase. James picked it up and made to place it on Anna's left hand side dresser.

"Don't put it there," Lily exclaimed. "It'd look better on this side."

"I'll put the bloody vase where I want to, Evans," James replied tetchily.

"No, Potter, you'll put it where I say because Anna is _my_ friend, not yours!"

"She's both our friends, you just knew her first. And last I checked, I was the one with the flowers, not you, so _I_ get to decide where they go!"

"Give it here, Potter!"

"No!"

"James, I'm not kidding. Give me the sodding flowers!"

"They look fine _here_!"

"Don't be such a prick!"

"Quit being a controlling twat!"

Before either of them knew it they had digressed into a shouting match that consisted of them flinging empty threats and insults at one another. It was amazing that none of the nearby healers had heard them in their five solid minutes of shouting, by the end of which Lily had just burst into tears.

Great choking sobs heaved out of her chest as all the fight went out of her, and she sunk back into her chair. James felt instantly bad for making the love of his life cry so he hurried to put his arms around her. In spite of their aggressive outburst, Lily simply buried herself in her boyfriend's chest and clung onto him for dear life.

A feeling of hopelessness settled over the pair as James mentally noted that if their argument and Lily's subsequent hysterics had not raised Anna from the proverbial dead, then nothing would.

* * *

Miss Evans/Miss Jones/Mister Potter/Mister Black/Mister Lupin/Mister Pettigrew/Miss McKinnon/Mister Dearborn/Mister Longbottom,

As you must by now be aware, our world faces difficult and challenging times. Voldemort's power and influence is on the rise and we must do everything in our power to stop it.

As we have seen from last weekend's attack, we are all vulnerable. I believe that if those of you who were there, or have been in similar situations, had been better equipped to deal with these sorts of circumstances perhaps incidents of the gravest matter could have been avoided (I am, of course, referring to Miss Brown's unfortunate injuries).

Furthermore, I believe that some of you may be aware of a resistance movement to Lord Voldemort's 'army'. I will not discuss it further in this note (which will, by the way, spontaneously combust when it has been read by the addressee) but I request that you all meet in my office at nine thirty next Thursday evening to discuss potential training and additional defence classes for those of you who seem to attract trouble or who may be interested in joining the fight against Voldemort when you finish at Hogwarts.

Until then, yours sincerely,

Professor Albus Dumbledore.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and whatnot... ask my lawyers, I had them check!

AN - okay, that is my temporary resolution to the cliffhanger. for all of those who thought anna was dead HA! i tricked you. but technically she's not awake - she may yet pass on, i have not necessarily decided. there may be a poll going up at some point where you can vote on your prefered outcome (it will be on my profile page).

Thank you to all you wonderful people that review :D i truly ruly do appreciate it so cyber-cookies for all!  
A special thanks to Jess-is-Forever-in-Twilight, x-I run with Wolves-x, maybegirl, em38, 6aNgElIcA9, TheMaraudersaremyhomies, , lunalover33, AnGiiEhearts'Ux0x, plus pluto-nfl, LiliaGryffindor'sHeir376 and potterstoriesrule9600.  
I suppose this thanks can also double as a dedication of this kind of short, more-to-reveal-what-happens-in-the-plot-rather-than-be-outstanding-by-itself chapter.

Thank you ALL for reading, reviewing, and sticking with this ridiculous thing i call a story. i really appreciate your support and feedback! Any ideas for the next chapters (at which point the story will soon finish *gasp*) let me know :) (ps there _will_ be a sequel!)

therefore, i hope you enjoyed the chapter. if you can spot the reference to/quote from she's the man, let me know :P

HAPPY FANFICCING!!!


	50. The First Rule of Fight Club

**Disclaimer - **If I owned Harry Potter, there would be less Voldemort and more snogging... thus, i do not own Harry.

**AN - change in last chapter - now does not include Miss Prewitt!  
**Also, sorry about the wait, took me ages to decide what to do with Anna. I waited for the poll to give me the response I wanted and it still hasn't (lol) so some of you may be disappointed... not that it happens in this chapter anyway. but yes. On with the show. Please review if you have time :)

Ps Remus annoys me greatly in this chapter. But don't worry, he will return to a less annoying version of himself soon. I just need to give him time - after all, he is still in shock/grieving/feeling nastily responsible, etc. So do excuse his pathetic-ness!

**

* * *

**

Chapter 49 - The First Rule of Fight Club

The Ministry was struggling to cope with the number of 'incidents' (as the _Prophet_ had begun calling them) and so it was well into May - a good two and a half weeks since the Dufftown attack - before the small contingent of aurors were able to question Remus, Claire and Caradoc about their encounter.

The three students in question were now sat awkwardly in Dumbledore's office, which the Headmaster had generously leased to aurors Lucy and Ben for the duration of their brief enquiry.

"So you were all together when you first noticed signs of the attack?" Lucy asked, Ben ready with quill and parchment.

"Us and Anna Brown," Claire offered. "We were in the café of a bed and breakfast when the ground began to shake."

"Then what happened?" Ben pushed.

"Then we knew something was wrong and we were about to leave when Anna remembered she had forgotten her wand upstairs," Caradoc said quietly.

"In the minutes we waited, Caradoc sent his patronus to Dumbledore to tell them of the attack. But then the Death Eaters apparated and we were stuck," Claire continued, trying not to sound accusatory.

"How did you and Caradoc manage to escape uninjured?" Lucy asked, raising an eyebrow as if challenging them to say they had not stayed to fight.

"We went and hid in the alley and waited for Remus and Anna," Claire answered. "Then we were all running and we just- we got… separated."

"We went one way and we thought that they were following," Caradoc said loudly, shooting a furtive glare at Remus who was staring determinedly ahead.

"While they were in the alleyway, what were you doing?" Ben asked Remus.

"I heard a pop - a wizard apparating - so I went upstairs. Bellatrix Lestrange was torturing Anna. I disarmed her and we ran to meet the others," Remus said emotionlessly.

"You managed to disarm a notorious Death Eater?" Ben asked incredulously.

"And we petrified her to give us a bit of time," Remus added. "Then when we were running we got separated from the others. We rested and hid for a bit in an alcove somewhere. Then Anna thought she saw a child or someone on the steps of this large building. It seemed to have been hit in the attack. I told her not to but she ran across to help. Then next thing I knew, it was exploding and collapsing right on top of her." He stopped abruptly and the aurors sensed he needed a minute. In any case, they had gotten what they had come for.

"After you were separated, you two apparated back to Hogsmeade, is that correct?" Lucy asked. Claire nodded.

"We made it to the top of the hill and they were right on our heels. I grabbed Claire by the wrist and we were gone," Caradoc said.

"Thanks," Claire mumbled, aware that she had forgotten to properly thank the boy for saving their lives. Caradoc just nodded.

"Okay, well I think that's about all we needed to speak with you about," Lucy said in her business voice. "The Ministry will contact you if we need any further explanation or elaboration on the event."

"Remus can you stay back a moment?" Ben asked as they rose to leave. Remus sunk reluctantly back into his chair.

"You identified Bellatrix Black as Brown's tormentor, correct?"

"Yes."

"Would you be willing to make a written statement?"

Remus thought for a moment about the witch who had caused Anna unbearable pain in what were potentially the last few minutes of her conscious life.

"Yes, I would."

"Excellent," Ben enthused, oblivious to the werewolf's internal musings. "Also, were you able to identify the two Death Eaters who attacked you in the café?"

"One of them called himself Dolohov and the other Rosier, but I'm not one hundred percent sure. It's all a bit muddled."

"Antonin Dolohov? I'm amazed you managed to escape. He's vicious, that one, and knows how to hold a grudge."

"He was too busy being smarmy to really see three students as a threat," Remus said factually, "Besides, I tackled him physically because he had our wands at the time."

"Impressive, Lupin. Say, have you ever thought about joining the auror division?" Ben asked, again oblivious to Lucy shaking her head behind him.

"I think my, err, condition prevents me from doing so," Remus said awkwardly, as Ben had the horrible moment of remembering that Remus was a werewolf.

"Oh, right. Err, sorry Lupin."

Remus just shook his head dismissing the insensitivity. "Don't worry about it… Am I free to go?"

"Sure," Lucy replied with a concerned frown that made her look older than her years. "Send our best to Anna, won't you?"

Remus just nodded again and hurried down the spiral staircase towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

**

* * *

**

James' Occlumency Diary

Not wanting to sound like an old gossip or anything, diary, but apparently Moony is still in love with Anna.

I KNOW!

What is wrong with that poor boy? He is such a fickle fellow sometimes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking. Whereas I can read Padfoot like a book (he is my brother, for all intents and purposes, though) and Wormtail to a certain extent (although less and less this year, as I feel we are all growing apart). But Moony, well, he's always been difficult to understand.

It was Pads who told me of this unsettling new development. He had been planning a prank with Moony (as a general distraction and mood-lightener for the entire school - except, maybe, for the Slytherins) when good old Moons just came out with it all. How he thought he may still have feelings for Anna, how he thinks it's his fault she's injured, how he has been so distracted by everything that's happened that he is finding it difficult to focus on his NEWTs. HIS NEWTS!!! This is study-loving, book-enthusiast Remus John Lupin, we're talking about - what's going on?

Padfoot and I have discussed it and we think that Moony is just feeling incredibly guilty over the whole incident and that he's just getting a bit confused.

It sounds all a bit condescending when I put it like that, doesn't it? But we are really worried about him. We don't really know what to do except ride it out and hope that Anna wakes up. Although I don't know what she'd say to Moony when she does. After all, she and Dearborn made quite the pair.

They moved her to the Hospital Wing here about three days ago and he's there with her in between classes and during meal times. The only times he's not there are when Poppy kicks him out or when he's holding quidditch training sessions. This doesn't happen very often as we are playing Ravenclaw in the Quidditch Cup and I've booked the pitch for pretty much every night this week. The match is on Saturday.

I think we're almost ready. We still need to work on a couple of manoeuvres I've been planning but that's what tonight's practice will be all about. I've worked out the line up, too:

Seeker - Sirius, Chasers - me, Jones and Rawlins, Beaters - Bourke and Thompson, Keeper - Simmons. Nathan Wood's a good keeper but Simmons has had more experience under finals pressure so I'm keeping Wood as a reserve. He's also a fair beater, if worst comes to worst. And it might, even though we're playing Ravenclaw. After all, they're bound to play dirty. We faced them in the past two cup finals and beat them, so they're going to have a bit of a grudge. And Dearborn wants it so badly. Or at least, he did.

There's too much to think about right now. The whole point of this stupid diary is to write down my thoughts, but it's not helping. I just feel more muddled!  
List writing is the way to go when I feel like this. It'll help, I hope.

Things that are worrying me:

- Moony liking Anna

- Anna not waking up soon or ever

- Quidditch Cup next weekend

- I haven't spoken to Lily properly in ages! I miss her and the way she was before this attack - it's like Anna's taken a part of Lils with her, and I want it back!

- Training with Dumbledore - I know it will help but I'm still nervous about it. I want to join the Order but truth be told, I'm not one hundred percent certain I'm ready right this second.

- NEWTs - I know I can wing them and still do brilliantly (arrogance alert) but I _have_ to get into the auror training program so I can't afford to just relax. Which is really irritating.

- What to do after Hogwarts: will I move in with Pads and Moony and Wormtail? Will there even be a point in going home if Dad's never there? What will Lily want to do - will she want to share a flat or something? I'd be more than up for it, but what would the guys, not to mention Dad, say?

So that's my list.

I have to say, I do feel a bit better having gotten all of that out of my head and onto parchment. But the fact remains that individually all those things still worry me. And, in case you hadn't noticed, there were a _lot_ of things on that list.

I'm bloody exhausted. I need sleep.

* * *

"I wonder if Anna ever woke up from that coma?" Hermione wondered sadly.

"I'm sure we'll find out," Ginny said, gesturing to the now significantly smaller pile of notes before them.

"If she did, I wonder if she had kids?" Ron said unexpectedly. "I wonder if she's related to Lavender?"

"You never asked her mother's name or if she had an aunty?" Hermione asked, eyebrow arched coolly.

Ron had the decency to look mildly uncomfortable - his ears turned red. "Yes, well, uh… didn't talk much… about family," he hastened to add, at Hermione's mutinous look.

"Have you ever thought where we'll all be?" Harry wondered. "After Hogwarts, I mean. I guess I never thought about it. Anywhere away from the Dursley's would be nice."

"For a while, I didn't think it'd matter," Hermione said. "I had my doubts we'd make it this far."

"Yeah, like when we got caught by those snatchers," Ron offered with a small shudder, "I thought we were goners for sure." Hermione's eyes seemed to glisten in the firelight and Ron quickly put his arm comfortingly around her. In an effort to change the subject - for she had heard of their horrific adventures in the search for horcruxes from Harry - Ginny piped up, "Well, I am definitely moving out after Hogwarts. Mum's great and all but I want a go at independence."

Harry smiled at her proudly. This was something he loved about Ginny - her fierce determination and self-reliance.

"I don't know what I'll do," Hermione said. "I can't exactly stay with Mum and Dad because I won't be able to do magic all the time."

"You can stay with me," Ron offered.

"Thanks, Ron, but I don't want to cramp your family's style," she grinned.

"Maybe Harry and I will get a flat then," Ron said, looking mildly put out.

"I wonder if Potter Mansion still exists," Harry mused. "Not that I'd want to live there or anything. I just wonder what it looks like."

"Yes, well you all might have to think about these things, but some of us have to go back to Hogwarts next month," Ginny said, giving Harry a curious stare.

"Do you reckon we need to go back?" Ron asked, hoping that the answer would be no.

"I didn't think so-" Harry began.

"But we _need_ our NEWTs," Hermione interrupted. "It doesn't matter that we've been on a quest to defeat You-Know-Who, we still need qualifications. And the rest of our year will have to do them too, considering they were cancelled."

"Do we have to?" Ron whined.

"Ron, think about how much Mum nagged you when she wanted to know where you three were going last year. Now multiply that by ten," Ginny said.

"But Fred and George never did their NEWTs…" he trailed off. A sad silence filled the room as they remembered their fallen brother. They each returned to reading the notes but the atmosphere in the room had changed slightly, and things suddenly felt a lot more serious.

* * *

"I have asked you all here today in the interests of ensuring your safety outside the walls of Hogwarts and also in the hope that when the time comes for you to leave, you will join me in the fight against the wizard who calls himself Lord Voldemort."

Dumbledore was, as ever, sitting behind his desk, his fingers steepled together and his blue eyes carefully examining the faces of the ten students before him. They were grouped in a semi circle around his desk in an assortment of chintz armchairs (they being James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Cat, Caradoc and Frank Longbottom).

"I intend to teach you how to properly defend yourselves against You-Know-Who for two main reasons: firstly, because _some_ of you have a nasty habit of attracting unwanted attention-" he turned his gaze and slight smile to the marauders and their girlfriends, "And secondly, because I believe that some of you would be very valuable to the, shall we call it, resistance movement, after Hogwarts."

"But, sir, isn't this why we do Defence classes?" Peter asked timidly, more nervous than usual under the Headmaster's gaze.

"True, mister Pettigrew. But I believe that while what you learn in class will teach you how to adequately defend yourselves, I wish to go beyond that."

"What do you mean? … Professor," Sirius added on the end.

"I mean that I wish to teach you… how to fight back," Dumbledore said carefully, as though measuring each word. At the shocked looks on his pupils' faces, he hastened to amend his statement. "I do not intend to teach you how to cause lasting damage. I merely seek to go beyond defence and evasion tactics; to give you the tools you will need if, indeed, you choose to join the Order of the Phoenix."

"I'm sorry, sir, the what?" Caradoc asked, nonplussed.

"The Order of the Phoenix is an underground resistance movement that seeks to undermine the movements of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It is, for obvious reasons, kept a secret by its members although some of you will already know of its existence." He glanced briefly at Cat and James who already had family members affected by the Order.

"If…when we join the Order, what is it that we will be required to do?" asked the sixth year Frank, whose girlfriend out of Hogwarts - Alice - was already a member.

"Reconnaissance missions, undercover investigating, potential rescue operations, take part in battles or attacks and help clean up afterwards. They are not tasks to be taken upon lightly," he added, when he saw James and Sirius' excited faces. The boys promptly rearranged their features to be polite curiosity rather than morbid fascination and anticipation. "I would not ask this of you - of ones yet so young - if it were not necessary. I will not lie. It will be dangerous and it will be trying. You may be asked to give great sacrifices to this cause."

He paused again. "I do not expect you all to agree to sign up after what I have described, but I urge you to take into account that if you join the Order, you will have a chance to help ensure the safety of our world and save the lives of those within it."

"When do you need our decisions by?" Marlene McKinnon asked.

"I request that you all return tomorrow evening with an answer," Dumbledore said. "You do not have to join up, it is merely an offer that I hope you will consider most completely. It is a decision that will undoubtedly change the course of your lives, if I may say so."

There was a thoughtful silence in the room as Dumbledore swiftly scanned the faces of the students he had selected to fight against Voldemort.

"I have placed a tongue-tie curse on you all so that you will be unable to discuss what we have discussed with anyone outside this group. I trust you all but to take precautions is always best, I find. Thank you." And with a wave of his hand, they were dismissed. Lily and James, however, remained seated as they had Head business to talk about.

"Thank you Miss Evans, Mister Potter, for managing so well after the most recent attack," Dumbledore said wearily. "You have both behaved admirably, in trying to maintain student morale, fulfil your head's duties and manage the prefects, especially considering how you must be feeling in light of Miss Brown's injuries."

Lily and James merely waited for what was coming next.

"While you have both been doing your utmost to see that the students are safe and happy, I worry that due to the recent emphasis on what is going on _outside_ the castle, they may forget that their exams are coming up soon. I am thinking, in particular, of the NEWT and OWLs which begin in two and a half weeks time. I am aware, of course, of the Quidditch Cup next weekend - good luck to Gryffindor-" he added, "But I think we need to place a stronger emphasis on the importance of study and exam preparations. After all, the students will be leaving Hogwarts sooner or later and I would rest easier if I knew they were as well prepared for that transition and that they were giving themselves the best possible opportunities."

"Of course, professor. We'll do our best to remind them," James said, more than a little startled to be reminded that his exams were so soon. Next to him, Lily was rather pale having also lost track of time.

"Good," Dumbledore smiled. "Now, I don't mean to be presumptuous, but you will both agree to the extra defence lessons I have offered?"

"Yes, of course," Lily said.

"I don't mean to pressure you both, but do you plan on joining the Order?" the headmaster probed gently. "I feel that you are both more than capable and together you would make quite a team-" his eyes sparkled. "Furthermore, I believe that you may already be targets of the Dark Lord." James sat up a little straighter - he had already surmised as much. Lily, too, had had her suspicions but was unable to stop from taking a nervous gasp of air.

"With all due respect, sir, I was planning on joining whether or not I'm a specific target," James said bravely.

"Yes, James, I suspected as much," Dumbledore smiled shrewdly.

"I never planned on sitting back and watching him tear our world apart," Lily added, "I want to fight for the Order."

"Good," Dumbledore said. "I merely wished to see where my Head students sat on the matter. If you have any more suggestions on students who show potential to join the Order, do not hesitate to tell me."

"Will do," James said with a salute. Lily nudged him in the ribs. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Now I believe you have rounds to complete. Remember the exams!" he added as Lily and James rose to leave.

* * *

Friday - Notes in DADA

James Potter, **Sirius Black, **_Remus Lupin, __Peter Pettigrew,_ Lily Evans, **Cat:**

**So are you lot planning on signing up?**

Sirius! We aren't supposed to talk about it!

**And we aren't - we're writing about it.**

Lily's right. What if this gets intercepted?

**How is it going to get intercepted, we're all sitting in one big row next to each other!**

Hmm, good point. Well, of course I'm joining. After everything that's happened.

_Me too. It's not like anyone's going to actually employ me after Hogwarts, I may as well be of use to someone._

That's not true, Remus. I'm sure there'll be people lining up to hire you once you get all Outstandings in your NEWTs. 

**Speaking of which, you are all aware that these aforementioned exams-from-hell are in two weeks and four days?**

_ARE YOU SERIOUS!?_

**Do I even need to answer that one?**

That pun will NEVER be funny, Pads.

**Oh look, I scared Peter away. Now he's actually studying. **

**Hi-five!**

_Don't be mean. He's just worried that he's under prepared. _

That's because he is under prepared.

_Maybe I should help him… _

**How about you, Lily-flower?**

Of course I'll join. But Cat, you reminded me - James, we have to put up those reminder posters after dinner tonight. 

**What posters?**

The ones that remind gits like you about the very important and serious exams that are starting soon.

**Prongs, you can't actually be worried about those exams, can you?**

We're putting them up for Dumbledore, dummy! And I am a bit worried, actually. We need the best marks to get into the advanced auror training program.

**I completely forgot about that! I have to start studying. **

Three down, two to go.

**Well, I'm joining too, thanks for asking. **

Good, we'll all go down fighting together. 

Lils, don't joke about that stuff.

I'm not joking. Look at the odds, James. They're stacked against us. 

Whatever happened to optimistic Lily?

I'm glad to join - I want to fight - but I'm not kidding myself that we'll be indestructible. We're already on his personal hit list, James. 

I'll keep you safe, I promise.

I know you'll try - thank you. I'll keep you safe too. 

You already do.

**Too… much… love - runs away to vomit**

Very funny, Cat. 

**Yeah, I thought so. **

We should probably get on with this theory, though. The better we know it, the easier the extra training should be.

We really should stop talking about all that stuff we shouldn't be talking about now.

Okay. 

* * *

"The first rule of defence training is you do not talk about defence training. The second rule of defence training is…" Dumbledore paused and with a small chuckle to himself, as though he was hearing an inside joke, continued, "let us make the second rule 'respect your opponent and work together in a productive way'. I need not remind you that we are all working to the same end. The third rule is this - obey my instructions to the letter. Fail to do so and the consequences may prove fatal. These will not be ordinary defensive spells you can learn from a text book. We will do preliminary training, of course, to make sure you are up to date with the basics, but following that things will get dangerous and as such I request that you do take these lessons seriously and work with great caution."  
Dumbledore examined the students in front of him, using his freakishly x-ray-like stare to determine their commitment. Only Peter Pettigrew was looking mildly uncomfortable (which Dumbledore passed off as normal Pettigrew nervousness); the rest looked on with fierce determination.

"Right, pair up and spread out. I'm just going to see how your disarming and shield charms are before we continue."

Lily and Cat stood closest to the window, with Cat only having a slight edge on Lily. Her reflexes seemed a bit quicker than the Head Girl's, probably due to all the quidditch she played. Frank Longbottom and Remus paired off, as did Sirius and James. These two pairs were equally matched and succeeded in disarming one another only a few times each as their shield charms were so strong. This left Caradoc, Marlene and Peter to go together. Needless to say, Peter was the weakest link out of the group, which frustrated the two Ravenclaws slightly. Within ten minutes of practice, he was already dripping with sweat, causing a disgusted Marlene to move a little closer to Caradoc.

After fifteen minutes Dumbledore called their attention again.

"Very impressive," he said with a twinkling smile, "It is most reassuring to see you practicing these skills with such ease. Some ministry members have difficulty casting shield charms which, in their profession is a very grave thing indeed. Now, onto duelling. The most important thing when duelling an opponent is being able to predict their next move. Do this and you will not only be able to avoid being hit with a curse but you will be able to throw a more powerful spell back at them, perhaps in a way or at a time when they least expect it. This is an important advantage to have, particularly when in a battle for your life. Split into threes and try the spells two on one. The single person takes the role of the attacker while the other two defend. This is because when you are on an Order mission, you will always be working in pairs or more for safety reasons. That isn't to say you will always be fighting together. In fact, usually teams get split up. But, as this is a beginner class we shall do it as I have said. You are only able to use these fairly basic spells."

Dumbledore then used his wand to write in purple glistening letters in the air 'Any mild hexes or jinxes, the Conjunctivitis Curse, Impedimenta, Petrificus Totalus, Incarcerous, Stupefy'.

"We will not be using any jinxes that rely on your surroundings - for example, _Reducto _or _Confringo _which cause explosions and destroy surrounds. This way, you shall get a feeling for duels where there is just you and your opponent. There are cushions in the back corner if you think you need them. Please begin."

Again, Dumbledore strode around the room, assessing the talent there. He was pleased with the way Remus, Sirius and James were working: the latter two were defending and were too quick and too good with their shield charms to be hit very often, but when they were, Dumbledore could see the raw power behind Remus' spells.

Cat was working in the offensive against Lily and Marlene who were reasonably capable, but it was clear that Cat was slightly more talented in duelling as her spells came hard and fast, barely leaving breathing time between her two opponents.

That left Frank firing spells at Caradoc and Peter. Frank's magic was very powerful and Dumbledore could almost feel the force of the spells vwooshing past him. Caradoc, however, tired quickly as Peter was fairly incompetent and therefore required assistance often, leaving Caradoc trying to defend two people at once. Dumbledore dully noted that Peter, should he join the Order, would have to be given less confrontational work. Perhaps he could work in reconnaissance instead, for his ability to sink into the background when required was quite impressive.

After a full hours work of observing and correcting Dumbledore dismissed his students with the simple reminder about the first rule of defence class.

* * *

"I think our posters were wonderful," Lily mentioned as they passed one of the violently purple notifications on the door of a transfiguration class room.

"Quite effective, I should think. Last I checked, Ravenclaw had cancelled their last training session to have a study fest instead," James grinned. Lily bumped him with her shoulder.

"The way you carry on, you'd think quidditch was they only important thing."

"Apart from you, Lily-my-love, quidditch _is_ the most important thing." Lily giggled, feeling some of the oppressive gloom lift slightly in James' presence.

"Apart from me?" she said coyly. James raised a suspicious eyebrow and stopped walking.

"Yes..?"

"I'm the most important?" she whispered as she pressed her body up against his. James got the message loud and clear, responding with a lingering kiss.

"Broom cupboard?" he asked huskily. Lily nodded, feeling wonderfully un-Lily-like. They stumbled, lip-locked towards the nearest broom cupboard, immensely pleased that as Head students they couldn't be told off for being in the corridors after hours.

Yanking the door open, Lily and James was greeted with an

"Oh, blimey!" the Gryffindor beater, Jonathon Bourke, cried in shock, scrambling to button up his shirt. Behind him, an equally dishevelled looking Ravenclaw (who Lily recognised as Sirius' date to the Halloween Ball - Freya) gave the Head students a sheepish grin.

"Bourke! What are you doing?" James exclaimed, before realising that he didn't really want to know. "I mean, I thought I told you to get an early night. We have an eight o'clock training session tomorrow morning!"

"I'm afraid we're going to have to give you both detentions," Lily added, blushing slightly at her hypocrisy.

"WHAT!?" James wheeled around to face her. "We can't give him a detention - we have practices set for every night before the match!"

"James, just because he's on the team doesn't mean he can get out of punishment," Lily admonished. "We have to treat everyone equally."

"No we don't," James protested, pulling out his well-rehearsed puppy dog expression.

"Yes, we do," Lily said sternly.

"You know we were about to do the exact same thing," he whispered in a low voice. "Going to give ourselves detentions, are we?"

"Well, no, of course not," Lily whispered back, annoyed that he'd used her own argument against her.

Behind them, Freya and Jonathon were exchanging amused looks.

"How about a few points off each house and send them on their merry way?" James suggested.

Lily sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle. "Alright then. Fifteen points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Now off you go, bed."

"Thanks, Lily," Freya said as she passed her. "I don't know what I would've done with a detention."

"Nice work, Captain," Jonathon muttered as he passed James.

"You'd better be on your game tomorrow," James threatened, "Or I really will give you a detention."

Jonathon just snorted and headed off towards the Gryffindor common room.

"You really _are_ quidditch-obsessed," Lily rolled her eyes as the pair set off again, all thoughts of a quick snog in the broom closet forgotten.

"But you still love me," James beamed.

"True," the red head agreed as she slipped her hand into his. She sighed sadly as they continued to walk.

"What's wrong?" James asked quietly.

"It's silly. Don't worry about it."

"Just tell me," James requested.

"It's just… I'm not going to get to see you for ages!" Lily whined, child-like in her sulk.

"What are you talking about? Are you… you're breaking up with me?!"

"No, James, don't be ridiculous!"

James sighed in relief - no matter how much he and Lily said they loved one another, he still had that insecure fear that one day she would remember why she'd turned him down all those years and leave him.

"I'm not going to see you because of your stupid quidditch," she said, glum and annoyed at the same time. James actually laughed at her admission. "What?" Lily exclaimed, now properly annoyed. "It's a valid concern. Sometimes I think you'd rather ride your broom than- never mind!" she cut herself off to prevent herself from uttering a very dirty Freudian slip. James chuckled, guessing what had been coming next.

"It's not true, Lils. I'd much rather _spend time_ with you than on the quidditch pitch. I can prove it to you if you like?" he winked in a scarily Sirius-like manner and Lily scrunched up her nose.

"No thanks. We already gave that a go tonight and nearly got sprung by the students we took house points from."

"I didn't want to give them anything… except maybe a knut for their silence so I could have some alone time with my incredible girlfriend."

"You're too smooth for your own good, Potter," Lily said, blushing happily at being thought 'incredible'.

"So, what's new in the world of Lily?" James asked conversationally as they rounded another corner. The redhead shrugged.

"Not much. Mostly I've been studying while you're at training. I've hardly spoken to Cat all week even though we've spent lots of time together. I think it's this Anna thing," she said sadly. "I'm getting used to not seeing her and not talking to her. I think I let myself believe she's just away for a bit, on a holiday or with her boyfriend or something. And then I'll walk past the Hospital Wing or I'll hear someone talking about her in the halls and it'll hit me all over again. And Cat won't talk about it. We visit her but we just don't _talk_."

She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, making James smile a little.

"Everyone's adjusting, Lils. It'll just take time."

"I don't want to adjust. I just want everything back to normal," she said heatedly. "Training with Dumbledore was good but it still isn't enough to take my mind off her lying in that bed…" she shuddered. James didn't know what to say to this, so he just squeezed her hand and kept walking.

_It'll all work out_, he repeated in his head, hoping he was right. _It's got to._

* * *

Remus pulled off the invisibility cloak he had stolen from James' trunk as he sat down in the uncomfortable seat next to Anna's bed. Wordlessly he magicked the curtains shut so that no one could see in. It was about eleven o'clock on the Saturday morning a week before the Quidditch final (two weeks before their NEWTs) and Remus knew for a fact that Caradoc was out training his team, to make up for all the study-time they'd had during the week.

Now, as had been determined by his friends, Remus was suffering from a severe case of 'survivor's guilt' - he felt responsible for Anna's current state and was therefore under the strange impression that he still had feelings for her.

It was to this end that he had snuck into the Hospital Wing just to see her. He felt that even though she was comatose she would still appreciate the company.

"Hey, Anna," he said quietly, examining her lifeless body. "How are you today?"

He feel foolish for being sad that there was no reply.

"Well, the quidditch cup is in a week," he said wearily. "You'd better hurry up and wake up or you might miss it," he joked pitifully, his attempt at a smile failing miserably on his lips. He sighed heavily and bent forward, putting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"I broke up with Claire," he said in a muffled voice. "I know you never really liked her. I mean, I thought she was nice and all but it turns out I was just some sort of charity case for her…She says differently but I know better." There was a long stretch of silence before Remus spoke again.

He raised his head out of his palms and looked at the girl once more. "Anna, I _know_ you can hear me. Please just hear this: I am _so_ sorry. For everything. Not just for this-" he gestured at her, "Not for your injuries but I'm sorry about _us_. If I'd only accepted your apology. If I'd been less proud, less sensitive… we could still have what we had before."

He placed his cool hand on hers, and Remus could've sworn he felt her pulse speed up under his touch.

"Anna? Can you hear me? Wake up!" he said urgently, but the blonde didn't stir. But Remus knew what he'd felt.

"I know you can hear me," he repeated in a softer voice. "Just know that there are few things I regret more than letting you get away. If we'd still been together you wouldn't be like this now…I still love you, Anna Brown. And if, _when_ you wake up, I want you to choose me. Not him. We were good together. We were sweet. We could have it again if you just gave me another chance."

Remus was well aware that he sounded like a grovelling, pleading idiot, not to mention a sappy and weak one at that, but he didn't care. He'd do anything to get Anna to wake up.

"I still…I still love you," he whispered, his voice cracking on 'love'. He stood and bent over, kissing Anna softly on the lips, a traitorous tear sliding down his face and onto her pillow.

Unable to look at the girl any longer without completely breaking down, Remus threw the invisibility cloak back on and made to return to Gryffindor tower. Little did he know that Anna actually could hear him. She had heard every single word and although her body wouldn't allow her to return to consciousness just yet, she was pleading on the inside for him to hear her.

_Remus, don't._

* * *

AN - just fyi, Antonin Dolohov - the one Remus fought in the cafe/bed n breakfast in Dufftown - is, according to wikipedia, the Death Eater who kills Remus in the final battle of Hogwarts in DH. Just thought it was ironic to chuck him in there. I kept forgetting to mention it :P

Please Review if you have a skinny min. I haven't had time to reply to all your reviews because I've been on a work placement in a Primary school (five weeks into my uni course and they're already letting me loose on the kiddies!) and then I've had about four major assignments and two presentations due all in the last three weeks. So yes, that's why I haven't replied as yet. I probably will at some point. But if i don't, thank you so much! Your reviews keep me going when I have writer's block and are often a nice little pick-me-up on a bad day. Thanks so much!

Til next time, happy fanficcing :) ps any suggestions are welcome. just let me know in a review. cyber cookies/hugs to all!


	51. Quidditch Cups and Waking Up

**Disclaimer:** I really wish I was magic... also, I don't own Harry and co.

AN - It's been nearly a month. I blame writer's block, uni assignments and a lack of poll cooperation with what I want to happen lol. So I chose to ignore the poll :P many (in fact, a good 84%) of you will not get what you voted for and for that i am sorry. but my plans for the sequel are lovely and that means that all you remus/anna shippers shall be disappointed. I'm telling you now so that you don't throw pointy things at me in your reviews... or as many pointy things.

ANYWAY- lots of fluff, Cat and Sirius, Lily and James, Corny Anna-related fluff. No harry stuff in this chapter (i ran out of time) or NEWTs (as was planned) - that shall come in the next chapter. BUT there is a lot of quidditch stuff for those of you who enjoy that stuff... so, yes. ENJOY :) and review, if you have a moment, thanks :)

* * *

**Chapter 50 - Quidditch Cups and Waking Ups**

_Remus, don't_, Anna thought as the boy walked away from her. She wished he could hear her - hear what she didn't want to say but knew had to be said - that she didn't want him to have those feelings for her any longer. She was happy with Caradoc. Sure, he wasn't brave as a lion but he had his moments. He was also sweet, caring and incredibly attentive to her, which was all she looked for in a guy. Not to mention that he loved her more than she loved gossip (which is an awful lot).

Being in a vegetative state, unable to communicate at all, had given Anna quite a bit of thinking time which she supposed was good for her. Usually she was too busy talking to listen, or to stop and think, but now that she'd had the opportunity she was somewhat grateful.

She had realised that Caradoc really was someone she cared for and probably even loved - she really regretted not telling him this when she'd had the opportunity for although she was able to think, she was beginning to doubt her body's willingness to cooperate.

She had also realised that in spite of their disagreements and separate opinions over the past year, Lily and Cat really were the best friends that she could've asked for.

And she had discovered - just recently - that Remus still had (or thought he had) feelings for her that went beyond the bounds of friendship. But she had realised that, for once, she only wanted him as a friend.

_It was awful when we weren't talking_, Anna mused dully, _And I didn't think Claire was at all right for him, but I guess I was just concerned as a friend. Like the way I was concerned when Cat dated that jock what's-his-name back in fifth year - friendly concern. _

_I wish he wouldn't say those things. If I ever get out of this - and it's not looking great at the moment - what do I tell him? 'Sorry, but you had your chance and even though I was pining after you for months - after it being MY fault that we broke up in the first place - I've moved on and am now in love with someone else. And, ironically enough, you've only just decided to love me back. Sorry, Remus, I guess the joke's on you??'_

Anna kicked herself mentally. It was going to be a long day/week/month/year with those thoughts whirling around in her head.

* * *

Lily,

It feels like an age since we saw you last. Of course, Easter was lovely - and not too long ago - but we had such fun getting to know your James properly that I feel we hardly got to catch up with you. Incidentally, we also forgot to ask your opinion on something of great importance to both myself and your father.

As you know, Petunia's now living with Vernon in Surrey and with you off in Scotland every term the house is seeming a bit big for just the two of us, especially seeing as your Dad is home all day.

On that note, he seems to be less forgetful these days - I don't know what it is, though; can Alzheimer's just disappear like that? In any case, since leaving the station he's started writing his memoirs - he says he wants to record things before he forgets them. Maybe that's why his memory's a bit better.

But I'm getting off track.

As I was saying, next year when you finish at school we don't know where you'll be, but it's likely that you won't want to be living with us oldies anymore. We've decided to sell the townhouse.

I know this must seem like a shock, Lily dear, but we've grown tired of city life and are looking for a little bit more. Just last week I got a grant from the bank to start my own publishing house - hopefully your father's will be the first thing I publish. It's not a far cry from feature writing at the _Times_, and I'm really excited for this new chapter in my life to begin.

We've decided to buy a small cottage in the county. It should be much quieter than London but not too much (at our age a complete change of scenery would be rather inadvisable).

Naturally the cost of the cottage will not be greater than what we will get for the London townhouse so the remaining funds will be split between Petunia and yourself. You can think of it as a late graduation present. When is your graduation, by the way? It must be soon.

I have to go now; your father and I are going to see a real estate agent and then a man about a horse, but do write back as soon as possible.

Sorry to surprise you like this, sweetheart, but it's very exciting, isn't it? You will be able to come home again before we move but we anticipate that we'll be properly settled in by mid July (which, as you'll recall, is about the time we'll be off to Spain on our family holiday).

Good luck for your exams, darling. Your father and I are so very proud of you.  
Lots of love,

Mum.

Ps We were so sorry to hear about Anna - such a lovely girl! We send our love to her and our wishes for her speedy recovery. Stay safe, Lily.

* * *

"What's that, Lily?" Remus asked, looking pointedly at the piece of paper clutched in Lily's slightly trembling hand.

It was the Thursday night before the Quidditch showdown between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor scheduled for that weekend, and Lily and Remus were left to study together in the Head's Common Room while Cat, Sirius and James were at training.

"Oh?" Lily said, snapping out of her trance as she realised she'd been staring at the paper for a good ten minutes without seeing a thing.

"The letter?" Remus prompted.

"Um, it's from my mum," Lily said roughly. Clearing her throat, "It, err… it says that they're selling the house."

"Oh," Remus said, not really sure how to reply. "Erm, are you… okay?"

Lily nodded vigorously, still looking at the letter. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she enthused. Remus raised an eyebrow at her and she looked up. "Okay, maybe fine isn't the exact word I'm looking for… It's just, I don't know. It's my home. I mean, Hogwarts is my home, too. And now it feels like I'm leaving them both. Like I'm suddenly displaced or something. Where on earth am I going to live?" she cried.

The sudden wildness in Lily's eyes made Remus feel genuine pity for someone other than himself and so he got out from behind James' desk - where he was currently making potions flash cards for study - and moved to give Lily a friendly, comforting hug.

"I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind you staying with them in the country, Lily," he said, pulling back. "You've got your license, you can just apparate everywhere."

"But I don't want to apparate and also, you're missing the point. It's not so much that I'll have no where to live, it's that I'll have no _home_."

Remus smiled shrewdly, "Don't muggles say 'home is where the heart is'?"

"Well, yeah. But you know what I mean: it's not going to be the same."

"Hmm, change is never fun but sometimes it can be for the better," Remus said thoughtfully. "As much as I don't want to leave Hogwarts, I'm ready to try something different… even though the odds of me getting a job aren't great," he added sadly.

"Of course you'll get a job, Remus. You're intelligent, qualified - any employer's dream," Lily said bracingly even though she knew as well as he did that the chances of a werewolf finding fair employment were slim to none. Remus smiled back before going back to his work.

They had studied for a good ten minutes more before Lily broke the silence.

"Do you actually still love her, Remus?"

The boy in question looked up from his work and answered as sincerely as he could. "Yes, I believe I do."

"You believe you do?" Lily questioned.

"Yes, I do," Remus said defiantly, his eyes hardening infinitesimally. Lily frowned - this was going to be more difficult than she and the others had anticipated. Getting Remus Lupin to see sense, that is.

"So… you're not sure?" Lily asked after some consideration.

"No, I - of course I'm sure," Remus replied, confused by Lily's line of questioning. "I admit, after the attack was when I remembered how I'd felt for Anna before we broke up and that's what prompted it but-"

"So, basically, it's because of the _responsibility_ you feel and the _guilt_ that you _believe _you love Anna again?"

"What? I don't- Why do you think-? I love her!" he spluttered in a manner very dissimilar to the usually composed and polite Lupin.

"No, Remus," Lily said softly and with great pity, "You think you do. You are getting confused between guilt and love. You may love her as a friend, but nothing more. You have to understand that. The attack wasn't your fault; Anna's condition isn't your fault - but you don't love her, you just think you do. We need you to understand this. We're all worried about you, Remus."

There was a slight pause in which Remus just stared incredulously at Lily and she held his gaze firmly, refusing to give in to her impulse to hug the poor, confused boy in front of her.

"I'm going on my rounds now. You can stay here as long as you like." With that, the redhead rose quietly from her seat and, with one last concerned glance at her speechless friend, left the room.

* * *

Lily sighed as the portrait hole closed behind her. They had all discussed Remus' unique situation - he was on the rebound, he felt guilty, etcetera, etcetera - and had decided that something needed to be done. An intervention had been planned with Lily as the representative of the concerned parties(ie Remus' friends). After all, she had a friendship with Remus from their years as prefects and had the added bonus, Sirius had pointed out, of being a girl and therefore good with all the 'touchy feely' stuff.

As much as she hadn't wanted to be the one to bring Remus down, Lily knew that he had to be sat down properly and let someone with an outsider's perspective explain the situation as they all saw it. She didn't know how much good it had done, though. Remus had looked positively furious at the initial insinuations Lily had made, but afterwards had simply looked… well, unresponsive. It was a bit of a gamble to see whether Remus would either take what Lily had to say in his stride and properly consider it or whether he'd go in the complete opposite direction, ignoring all his friends and becoming more distressed with every day that went by with Anna in a coma.

Lily fervently hoped it was the former option: like everyone else, she just wanted the old Lupin back.

So lost was she in her thoughts, that Lily didn't even hear the voices from around the corner till one of the participants began shouting.

She wasn't sure whether to intervene or whether to eavesdrop - after all, it could very well be Slytherins in an argument over something related to Voldemort and his Death Eaters. With this in mind, Lily slipped hurriedly behind a tapestry and listened intently to what was being said.

"Well, you could've used a bit of tact instead of blundering around with all the sensitivity of a pissed off hippogriff!"

"You're one to talk! If it were up to you we'd just feed them veritaserum and have them spill their entire guts. Why did you feel the need to ask her if she thought her dad was a Death Eater?!"

"It's vital information, _Ben_, being an auror you would think you'd know that."

"Oh, come on, Luce, you were harassing the kid. All we needed to know was what happened when she was on her break. Didn't need her family history, did we?"

"I'm not the one who made her cry!"

This statement was followed by a derisive snort and increasingly loud footsteps and Lily realised that she was, in fact, eavesdropping two of the aurors who had recently frequented the school to get first hand reports and accounts of the incidents which seemed to be increasing in number. Lucy and Ben, she remembered. Just as Lily was about to reveal herself and apologise for being so secretive, she heard the wet sounds of people kissing and scrunched up her nose - surely she and James weren't that noisy!

"I bloody love you when you yell," came Ben's voice as the pair kept moving past Lily and out of earshot.

In typical Lily fashion, she rolled her eyes. A bit of professionalism wouldn't go astray! Although she did seem to recall one particular night when she and James hadn't gotten very far in their rounds before they'd felt the need to snog one another senseless in an abandoned classroom. Lily grinned in spite of herself - she wasn't one to talk about professionalism. _It's moments like these, _Lily thought to herself, _that I really wish James didn't play quidditch_.

* * *

It was raining heavily as Sirius and Cat made their way back up to Gryffindor tower. James had been particularly unrelenting that night and the rest of the exhausted team had already returned to the common room. The captain in question was still in the changing room showers, presumably trying to drown himself in light of his pre-match pessimism. This left the good-looking couple to roam the corridors after hours in order to postpone the mountains of study awaiting them in their respective dorms.

"Do you reckon we'll win this weekend?" Cat mused as they squelched - yes, squelched - down the hall.

"For sure," Sirius replied confidently, "_I_ am on the team, remember?"

"Very funny," Cat rolled her eyes. "But seriously-" she threw him a pointed 'don't-you-even-think-about-making-a-pun-related-joke' look, "Ravenclaw have Dearborn and Jenkins _and_ Macabey. Plus they've been training like crazy all week."

"Yeah, but our keeper is dead-fast, we've been practising our formations all year and I refuse to let Macabey get to the snitch before me. We cannot lose."

Cat just hmm-ed in indecision.

"So what else is news?" Sirius asked as he grabbed Cat's hand. "All we ever talk about is quidditch, exams or the problems of our friends. To be perfectly honest, it's all a bit tedious."

"You find our conversations tedious, do you?" Cat parried, squeezing her boyfriend's hand playfully.

"You know what I mean."

"I'll give you something that is the exact polar opposite of tedious then," Cat continued and with a mischievous glint in her eye she pulled her hand out of Sirius' grasp. "Close your eyes."

"I like where this is going," Sirius murmured suggestively, a smirk on his face. "OW!"

"It's not what you're thinking, gutter-brain," Cat replied, smacking him lightly. "Just keep your eyes closed, okay?"

"Sure, sure."

Sirius was all for kinky, sex-related games in the empty halls of Hogwarts in the middle of the night- no matter how much Cat tried to convince him otherwise. So, like the obedient boyfriend that he was, he dutifully kept his eyes shut, awaiting further instruction. However, he refused to be kept in the dark when he felt something wet lick his hand.

"So much for not kinky," he grinned, opening his eyes. "Holy bloody Merlin!" he shouted in surprise. The sight that met Sirius was not at all the one he had been picturing in his head (which was along the lines of Cat in her underwear sensuously licking various parts of his anatomy).

Instead, what appeared to be a smallish version of a leopard stood before him, it's banded tail swinging slightly from side to side.

"No way!" he said in an awed voice. "How the hell..?"

He rubbed his eyes for a moment and then saw his girlfriend once again standing before him, smirking triumphantly.

"That was amazing! It took us _ages_ to work that out!" Sirius enthused, pulling Cat in for a hug. She giggled happily.

"Yeah, but I had help… plus, I'm kind of amazing."

"That you are," he replied, "And you're mine."

"For now," she grinned cheekily. "So, don't you want to know what I am?"

"It would appear, ironically enough, that you are a cat," Sirius chuckled.

"An ocelot to be precise," Cat the cat corrected. "From the Leopardus family. Like a small leopard, mostly found in South America, nocturnal, carnivorous and often kept as pets… much like dogs, actually, in that respect."

"It would seem that we are both compatible and at odds," Sirius mused as they continued their stroll.

"That made little to no sense."

"True… Hmm… would explain why we fight like cats and dogs," Sirius said with a straight face, before laughing loudly. Cat joined in until the two of them were clutching onto one another, gasping for air.

"Ah, I haven't felt like this in a long time," Cat said, wiping the laughter tears off her cheeks.

"Me neither. I guess the whole end-of-our-world-as-we-know-it thing kind of takes the fun out of life a bit," Sirius agreed.

"I guess… exams don't really help either."

There was a silence as the two contemplated how complicated life had gotten in a few short months.

"We've got the Order, though. And quidditch to look forward to," Cat said.

"Yeah. And that whole new life thing after graduation."

"That'll be an adventure."

"And," continued Sirius seriously, "We've got each other."

Cat smiled up at her boyfriend, "Yeah, we've got each other."

* * *

It was lucky for the quidditch's golden couple that they had one another as this prevented two potentially gruesome accidents from occurring during the quidditch match that Saturday.

Once when Cat was knocked off her broom by a bludger and Sirius caught her and the other time when as Sirius was wrestling with a Ravenclaw beater in midair Cat dropped (with force) the quaffle on the Ravenclaw's head, effectively freeing her boyfriend.

"Thanks, babe!" Sirius called as he flew off to tail the other team's seeker.

"Anytime," Cat called as she retrieved the ball and hastily passed it to James.

The game was only ten minutes in at this point and already Gryffindor were leading 40 to 10. But that wasn't enough to keep the fans in the stands happy.

"Wow, the Ravenclaws really are playing dirty today, aren't they?" Peter observed uselessly from his seat next to Lily.

"Come on, Pete, they want to wi-HEY, THAT WAS A FOUL!" Remus yelled angrily. He had been prevented from commentating because he would inevitably be biased towards Gryffindor.

Instead, a familiarly snotty Slytherin had been appointed the role - "Because no one would suspect a Slytherin of having anti-Gryffindor bias in their commentary" Lily had pointed out sarcastically - and as such, Remus was stuck in the normal stands with the rest of the school. Although they had cleverly opted for the seating right next to the commentator's box.

"Please let Gryffindor win," Lily muttered under her breath, "He'll fly himself into the Whomping Willow if we lose, I just know it!"

"Relax, Lily. We're going to win," Remus assured her, just as the ding of a bell indicated that Ravenclaw had scored a goal. "Touch wood," he said, hastily knocking on the railing in front of him.

"Come on, team. FIRE UP!" James shouted at his players as Ravenclaw scored yet another goal. It was now fifty to forty, to Gryffindor by one goal.

"Rawlins," he barked at chaser Rachael, "Next time Dearborn blags you, just sloth-grip roll. He can't hold onto your broom tail with you doing rolls, can he?"

Rach just nodded briefly before zooming off to tail Jenkins of Ravenclaw.

"Oi, Padfoot. Any sign of the snitch?" James yelled as he shot off past Sirius, quaffle under his arm.

"Nope, still looking mate," Sirius replied. "Don't sweat it!"

Just then there was a sickening crunch as a bludger collided squarely with the back off James' head. The quaffle flew out from under his arm at the same time James fell straight off of his broom and began to plummet towards the ground, apparently out cold.

"JAMES!" Lily screamed from the stands, ice-cold fear gripping at her lungs and making it impossible for her to breathe. Her cries were drowned out by those of the crowd who were shocked to see their Head Boy, a trail of thick red blood gushing from his head, falling towards the ground.

The school watched horror struck as the two remaining chasers - Cat and Rach - sped towards James and tried to catch him. But they were too slow.

Luckily for them, Sirius was not.

Being the good and proper best friend that he was, he managed to swoop underneath his friend's limp body, catching him by the arm which popped disgustingly as the weight of James' falling form pulled the arm from its socket. Within seconds Cat and Rachael were there, helping to carry their fallen Captain between them, lowering him to the ground.

The game had been stopped and there was a brief timeout while the second-in-command Sirius decided what to do.

"Uh, team meeting," he called, waving the players in, as Poppy attempted to stem the flow of blood from James' head. Sirius tried not to look - he knew that if he looked he would be too worried about his best mate to continue playing and he _knew_ that James wouldn't have wanted that. Gryffindor _had to win_.

"Poppy, how's he doing?" he asked the nurse in an undertone.

"Mister Black, I have only just begun treating him!" she snapped, "I don't know why you children insist on playing this unnecessarily dangerous game. It's not good for you!"

"Will he be fit to play soon?"

"Certainly not!" the nurse cried. "He needs rest and time and-"

"He needs to win this game. He can come to the hospital wing later. How long til you stop the bleeding and revive him?" Sirius asked sternly, glaring at the young woman.

Poppy knew there was no use in arguing with an obsessed boy. And she knew that when James Potter recuperated in fifteen or so minutes he wouldn't take kindly to being forced to sit and watch the finals.

"Fifteen to twenty minutes… but only if he can see properly and walk in a straight line am I going to let him back on that thing." She pointed at James' discarded broom.

"Thank you," Sirius said curtly, turning back to his now very concerned looking team. "Right, you lot. Rach, I want you to stay on the wing, Cat, you take centre. Nathan, OI WOOD!" The reserve keeper ran over from the bench.

"Right, Wood, how are you at chasing?"

"Err, not bad, I guess. I'm a better keeper, though. Or a beater."

"Okay, Bourke, Thompson, Simmons? Any of you willing to swap with Wood, here?"

"I'll do it," the keeper, Tim Simmons said. "We'll swap back later, though, yeah? Chaser's kind of boring," he grinned.

"Okay team. James wouldn't want us to stop. He'll be good as new in a few and when he comes round we need to be at least fifty points up, got it? We're in this to win it! No more injuries. Ravenclaw are playing dirty, so we play dirty back. I don't care what you do, I don't care how many penalties we get awarded against us, but we aren't letting those egotistical egg-heads get away with what they did to our captain. Thompson, Bourke - hit those bludgers like your lives depend on it, got it? Okay team, let's go. GO, GO GRYFFINDOR!"

They all put their hands in as a show of solidarity then flew off, resuming their positions before the whistle was blown again.

* * *

Meanwhile, Lily had completely lost interest in the game. She had left Peter and Remus - who had tried to assure her that James would be fine and that they would've cancelled the game had there been any serious damage done - and gone down to find James. She just needed to see him, make sure he was okay and conscious, before she could enjoy the rest of the game.

"Madame Pomfrey," Lily called, spotting the young nurse kneeling over a prone form - James' prone form - on the ground about three feet away.

"Miss Evans," Poppy replied, "I thought you'd be here soon." Lily blushed at this, but Poppy continued, "He'll be fine in a moment. I've just healed the initial wound. He needs a small dose of blood replenishing potion and then for me to help pop his shoulder back into place, but he'll be okay."

"Okay enough to keep playing?" Lily asked, trying to hide her scepticism.

"Honestly, is this stupid sport all you children ever think about!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed.

"I just know it's important to James, that's all," Lily explained. "_I_ don't want him to fly off again when he's just sustained a head injury but you're the expert. As long as he doesn't fall again."

"Well, I'll fit him with a helmet in case he does," Poppy replied. "He won't like it, but too bad. He's lucky I'll even let him anywhere near his broom after this accident."

"It wasn't an accident, it was deliberate," James groaned, his eyes squeezed shut in pain. His hand went to his hair, now damp with blood, as he felt for a lump. "And we should've - oh, Merlin that hurts!"

"Stop moving, James. Your shoulder's dislocated," Lily ordered.

"Lily!" James said happily… if a little hazily. "Are we winning?" his hazel eyes suddenly looked anxious and Lily couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, but only by a little. Your team need you with them," she encouraged.

"Of course they do," James slurred.

"In a few minutes, Mister Potter," Madame Pomfrey said sternly. "You had quite a fall and you need at least five minutes more."

There was another ding of the bell and the snotty Slytherin announced the score 40:60 to Gryffindor.

"See, they are doing fine without you."

* * *

Up in the stands…

"Wow, that was lucky! Did you see that?"

"Yes, I saw it Wormtail," Remus replied irately. "I have been standing here watching the same game as you all this time. Of course I saw it!"

"But that was amazing. The way Wood stopped that goal and then passed it straight off to Cat for another score for our team. Beautiful!"

Remus just rolled his eyes. To be perfectly honest, he was finding Peter's company quite irritating. What he wouldn't give to be back in the commentator's box where he belonged. Instead, he was forced to listen to the bored, drawling voice of his former rival Edmond Triscombe.

"And Jenkins passes to Dearborn, terrible pass - really could've been intercepted there, but apparently Gryffindor just aren't on their game. Dearborn shoots… saved by reserve keeper Nathan Wood. It really makes you wonder how they got into the finals the way they're playing at the moment, doesn't it? Wood throws to Rawlins, Rawlins to Simmons, bludger by Finch. Possession to Ravenclaw… looks like the red and gold just can't hang onto the quaffle today. Pity… seems they can't hold onto their Captain either. Looks like he's getting revived by his girlfriend. Very professional."

Then several things happened at the same time. The entire school stood to try and see what their Head students were allegedly doing, Sirius grabbed a beaters bat off Bourke and aimed a bludger right at Triscombe, knocking him out of the commentator's box, Lily looked up from her position next to James' head (where she had innocently been feeding him the blood-replenishing potion) and Ravenclaw's seeker Macabey started zooming off towards the Ravenclaw goal end.

Remus was quick to shove the annoying Triscombe's shocked body out of the way and yell into the microphone, "SIRIUS! HE'S SEEN THE SNITCH!"

Sirius, who had been congratulating himself on such a well aimed bludger for a seeker to have hit, hastened to turn his broom around and began chasing after Macabey. Laying as flat as he could to his broom he was nearly upon his opponent when said opponent pulled into a sharp dive.

From his spot on the ground, James jerked upright with a look of horror on his face.

"Oh Merlin, I can't believe we're going to lose!" he said, actual tears in his eyes. Lily, however, was not as pessimistic as her boyfriend.

"Relax, James. Macabey is faking!"

"Huh?"

"You ninny, you haven't got your glasses on," Lily said, picking up the damaged spectacles and muttering _'Reparo'_.

James shoved them hastily onto his face. "I still don't get it, Lils! Explain!"

Sirius and Macabey were nearing the ground now.

"He pulled into an incredibly fast dive when before he had been speeding horizontally," Lily reasoned.

"Snitches can change direction!" James cried, almost hysterical.

"Just watch; I'm right," Lily said, just as Macabey pulled sharply out of the dive, with nothing to show for the effort. "See."

Luckily, Sirius' reflexes were better than Macabey had been hoping for, and the Gryffindor pulled sharply out of the dive just as his Ravenclaw counterpart had done before him.

"Oh, the Wronski-feint!" James exclaimed.

"Exactly. I think he was trying to get Sirius to crash into the ground. They're dirty buggers, those Ravenclaws, aren't they?" Lily vented.

"Wait, _you_ know what a Wronski-feint is?"

"James, I've been your girlfriend for how long?" Lily smiled. "Now, it seems to me as though you're ready to go back on."

"I don't know. As Poppy said, they seem to be doing alright without me."

As if to prove his words right, Remus' voice boomed out "Rawlins to Jones, Jones passes to Simmons… failed interception, goal to Gryffindor!"

"Plus, there are definite benefits of staying here," James grinned wolfishly, pulling his girlfriend in for a kiss.

"Too many people looking," Lily muttered, inches away from his lips.

"For luck," James reasoned, allowing himself several moments of uninterrupted snogging bliss before he remembered his responsibility as Captain.

"Okay, fine, I'm going," he said aloud, before realising he was arguing with himself. Lily just gave him a quizzical look and handed him a squarish brown leather helmet.

"What is this?" James asked in revulsion.

"It's what will let you back to play, Mister Potter," Poppy interrupted and with a wave of her wand the offensive piece of protective gear fastened itself to James' head.

"You've got to be kidding me," James groaned.

"No such luck, kiddo," Poppy said sternly. "It is helmet or no quidditch." James just stared daggers at the nurse who then called the referee to take an inter-change time out.

"You did great, Wood," James said, clapping the fourth year on the shoulder. "Next year you will play in the finals as more than a reserve but for now it's back to the bench. Good work."

"You alright, mate?" Sirius asked quietly as the rest of the team watched Nathan return to the bench, sending a few winks out into his newly admiring crowd.

"Just a bit woozy. Thanks for catching me, Pads. Nice teamwork."

"Any time. Now let's win this thing!"

"Couldn't have put it better myself," James grinned. "Okay team. It's show time. Let's win this!"

Another 'go, go Gryffindor' and the teams were back in the air, neither side showing any weakness.

"And the players are back to the quidditch and what a match this has been," Remus said into the magical microphone, ignoring Professor McGonagall's fierce glares.

"And it turns out that Macabey was feinting just then. For those of you who don't know that means he was trying to trick our seeker into thinking he was following the snitch. In my professional opinion, he was trying to injure our team, but that's just speculation."

"And it's Gryffindor with the quaffle. They're flying in a formation called- AND Ravenclaw have hit chaser Jones with a bludger when she wasn't in possession. THAT'S A FOUL!"

Sure enough, Cat had been knocked so that she was just hanging on by her legs. Once again, it was Sirius who had come to the rescue, scooping up his girlfriend and placing her back on her broom even though either of her fellow chasers could've done the job sooner.

"Don't need to thank me," he grinned cockily.

"Don't need to. I would've landed on my feet," Cat winked.

"Black, stop playing the hero and find that snitch!" James roared. Sirius would've protested that James didn't mind so much when he was the one being rescued but chose to let it slide and get back to finding the snitch - no simple feat in the increasingly dark weather.

"Earth to Gryffindor," Remus called, "Ravenclaw are now in possession. Jenkins is heading for goal. He shoots-" _ding_ "Goal. The scores are tied."

James swore loudly, flying back to position.

Lily, who had returned to sit with Remus and Peter decided that Remus would be better company and consequently let herself into the commentator's box, sliding into the seat next to Remus.

"It's Potter in possession, passes to Jones, back to Potter, back to Jones, who passes to Rawlins… ooh! Intercepted by Dearborn. Dearborn to Jenkins, Jenkins to- OH MERLIN, DID YOU SEE THAT!?"

Just as Jenkins was lining up to shoot for the centre hoop, there was a loud crack and a bright light split open the sky, striking incredibly close to the chaser in possession.

"Lightening? But it's not even-" Lily began, but the skies split open and it began to pour before she could finish her sentence.

"And Jenkins has dropped the quaffle in fright, I would imagine. Well, it was bloody scary. Now James Potter has the quaffle and he's just speeding towards the goals. No passing. He shoots, GOAL!"

James punched the air with his fist, although he felt a little bad for not sharing the glory with his team mates.

Over the next forty minutes of heavy rain, loud thunder and intermittent sheet lightening, the scores were still fairly even - Gryffindor on 100, Ravenclaw 120 - but the teams had taken quite a beating.

The Gryffindor beater Jonathon Bourke had been knocked out cold by his opponents bat (directly to the back of the head, resulting in a failed penalty shot by Rachael). The Ravenclaw beater who had committed the offence (Henry Finch) had been hit with a bat-bogey curse (wordlessly from a certain red head in the commentator's box) and had had to be taken off. Cat had broken her hand punching Jenkins in the face when he decided to grab the tail of her broom to slow her down. And Ravenclaw's other chaser had literally been struck by lightening.

No one knew how that had happened or if she'd be alright, but no one particularly cared, as the game was so intense and violent that it was impossible to look away.

"And it's Jenkins with the quaffle again, Potter's gaining on him. Nice sloth-grip roll to avoid that bludger. But it missed Jenkins too and now Potter seems to be shoving Jenkins like he's trying to push him off his broom. Luckily there's no rule about bumping… Ah, but cobbing - Foul against Gryffindor. For those of you who have been living under various rocks for the past year's worth of quidditch matches, cobbing is when players use their elbows to try and unseat one another."

"Jenkins lines up to take the shot and… it's SAVED by Simmons. That's one good keeper, folks."

Lily ran her hand anxiously through her hair. Those last few minutes when James had been shoving Jenkins, she had been very concerned by the way he was wobbling on his broom.  
Usually he had better balance than that. She worried that it was his head injury that was causing him trouble and desperately hoped that the game would end soon because protective helmet or no protective helmet, her James wasn't safe until he had two feet firmly on the ground… or, at least, in a hospital bed.

"It's Jones with the quaffle and she's heading straight for goals. THAT'S IT CAT, DON'T PASS IT, JUST SHOOT!"

But the two Ravenclaw beaters had flown up along side her and were pushing into her from both sides. Cat screamed as she lost control of her broom and went flying into the goal posts.

"OH MY GOD!" Lily yelled as her best friend's broom shattered and she went plummeting toward the ground. Everyone expected Sirius - considering he seemed to be the hero of the match _and_ Cat's boyfriend - to zoom in and save her, but it was actually Caradoc who just managed to catch her limp form before she hit the ground. The sudden impact of her body sending them both into the soft sand at the foot of the hoops nonetheless. "Where the hell was Sirius?" Lily cried at Remus, forgetting that everyone could hear her voice.

"IT SEEMS LIKE BLACK HAS SEEN THE SNITCH!" Remus cried suddenly and the whole school turned to face the hoops guarded by Gryffindor's keeper. Sure enough, Sirius was flat against his broom, speeding towards the little flash of gold that shimmered somewhere near Tim Simmons' left ear.

"HOLY SHIT!" Tim cried, jumping out of the way - literally jumping _off_ his broom - and managing to cling onto the next goalpost over.

James could see from his vantage point that there was no way Macabey could catch up and felt a grin spreading across his face. In fact the whole school seemed to sense what was about to happen and as Sirius' fist closed around the fluttering golden ball, the red and gold clad supporters in the stands burst into raucous cheers and applause.

"BLACK HAS CAUGHT THE SNITCH! GRYFFINDOR WIN!" Remus yelled, jumping out of his seat as Lily did.

They hugged each other and jumped up and down for a minute, until James flew over and pulled Lily onto his broom for a victory lap.

"NO WAY! James, let me off your broom this instant! It's all wet and slippery," Lily cried.

"Not a chance!" James said, delighted at her terrified response. "Besides, it's stopped raining."

"Go, be with your team instead, Captain," she ordered, before saluting. He rolled his eyes, giving in.

"Okay, but you owe me… perhaps a small… celebration later?" he winked. Lily just gave him a small shove in the chest.

"I think your ego is inflated enough at the moment. Now go get your trophy."

James just grinned again and flew off to meet his very tired, wet, injured but happy team on the pitch below.

"Well, that was a good result," Lily said to Remus, smiling.

"Yeah, it was good fun," he replied, and Lily could see that he wasn't faking it. Remus had genuinely enjoyed that match. She supposed it was probably something to do with the fact that it took his mind off of Anna. "I can't believe someone was actually struck by lightening, though," he mused.

"I know!" Lily exclaimed. "I read in _Quidditch Through the Ages_ that it's only happened twice before in recorded games."

"It looks like we've just witnessed a part of history, then," Remus agreed with a chuckle.

"Yay for Gryffindor," Lily couldn't help but add as Remus opened the door for her. "Now I assume there is to be an after-party?"

"Oh, that reminds me. Wormtail!" Remus called, "Got to get that stuff, let's go."

Lily just raised an eyebrow. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that," she grinned. "Oh, and here's the map," she added, slipping Remus the blank piece of parchment. "Thought you might need it."

"Does James know you have that?" Remus asked.

"Nope, and don't tell him that I've worked out where he keeps it when it's his turn. It'd take the fun out of my Wednesday nights."

"Sure," Remus rolled his eyes. "We'll see you soon."

"Be safe," Lily admonished as half of the Marauders turned to sneak off campus. She decided that now was as good a time as any to go to properly and publicly congratulate her boyfriend on a stunning win.

* * *

"And excellent beating, guys. You showed no mercy and that really got us through today. Rach, that was the best sloth-grip roll I've seen you do in ages. Cat, so many goals, what can I say. And even when they tried to blurt you, you just kept going which showed great courage… even if you did end up flying into the goal posts. Simmons and Wood, excellent keeping. Just great skills under pressure, well done. And Pads, I don't need to say anything to you, you know you were brilliant."

"Not to mention I saved your sorry behind," Sirius chipped in cheekily.

"Of course. I'm eternally in your debt," James replied sarcastically as the team laughed.

"Hats off to our brilliant Captain," Sirius called loudly. "All those hideous early starts and late nights training finally paid off, and we couldn't have won this without your fine leadership and slave-driving." He mock saluted, "O, captain, my captain!" Sirius cried and the rest of the team followed, bowing down before James.

"Get up, you lot," James yelled happily. "We have a post-match victory party to attend!"

The team cheered heartily at that and made their way through the throngs of Gryffindor supporters that littered the field to the change rooms.

James was the last to arrive, mostly due to all those who stopped him to offer their congratulations (notably Slughorn, Dumbledore and a gaggle of particularly enthusiastic fifth-year girls) so when he got into the main room of the change rooms, the rest of the team were already in the showers. So he was more than pleasantly surprised to find Lily sitting on a bench, idly swinging her legs.

"Lils, what are you doing here?" James smirked, sauntering towards her.

"Hmm, let's see? Looking for Sirius. I wanted to congratulate him for winning the game," Lily replied evilly, sliding off the bench and walking towards James.

"Is that so, Miss Evans?" James countered. "Because it seems to me like you were waiting for someone else."

"Really?" Lily's green eyes went as wide and innocent as she could make them. "Who would that be?"

And suddenly there was no more space between them as James bent down to capture Lily's lips with his. Neither teen really noticed that they were both relatively wet from the downpour, nor that James was covered in mud and still wearing his helmet or that the male half of the team were returning from their showers.

Well, not until Sirius wolf-whistled and the two were forced to come up for air.

"Way to go Prongs, but next time you should at least shower first," Sirius grinned.

"Yeah, I agree with Black. I don't believe it's customary to cover your girlfriend in mud," Tim Simmons agreed.

"Well, perhaps I'll just have to take Lily with me to get a shower seeing as how she's all dirty," James couldn't help but say. After all, they were in a locker room - it was almost a requirement to act like a Neanderthal. Lily slapped him gently on the chest, blushing. She had to admit, though, she didn't much mind the idea of a shower with James. It might even be an… enjoyable experience for the two of them. Just as she was about to stoop to the boy's level and say what she'd been thinking, the other beater - Jonathon Bourke - walked out of the showers… completely naked.

"What's going on out he- OH CRAP!"

He hastened to place his hands over his more private areas.

"Bourke! What are you doing?" James yelled, trying to shield Lily from the dangerous sight of another naked man. Lily was however more intrigued than embarrassed and tried to peer out from behind James' shoulders.

"Sorry, man. I didn't know that there was anyone else here. Rach and Cat are in the girls' showers!" he explained, grabbing a towel from a nearby peg and whipping it around his waist.

"You'd better hope I don't hex off what you were just holding in your hands for exposing yourself to my girlfriend!" James threatened. Lily couldn't help but let out a little giggle at this. James spun around to face her.

"You think this is funny?" he asked incredulously.

"Well… yes," she chuckled. "Relax, James, I like yours better," she whispered. "I'll see you guys at the after party. I just came to say-" she kissed James once more on the cheek,

"Congratulations."

And with that she flounced off out of the boys' change rooms, laughing at the comment that Bourke yelled out after her.

"Just so you know, it's really cold today!"

* * *

Caradoc was rather distraught that his team hadn't won the cup. It wasn't as though he had necessarily expected a victory - after all, he and his team had been much more focused on study than training for the past term, not to mention he had had many other things on his mind - but it was still disappointing to lose in his last year at Hogwarts.

These were the main things on Caradoc's mind as he and some of his defeated team mates were put on stretchers and taken back to the castle. When he'd landed with Cat, Caradoc had twisted his ankle rather badly and, according to Poppy, may have even shattered a rib or two. Caradoc supposed that this was a good thing. At least he could be remembered for something vaguely heroic - perhaps he wouldn't be stuck with the label 'coward' for the rest of his days.

As the light outside the windows darkened and the potion to stop the pain stopped having that brain-numbing effect that most pain-killers possess, Caradoc realised _exactly_ where he was. He was in the hospital wing. More specifically, he was in the hospital wing where Anna was being kept. To even further show the specifics, he was three beds away from the curtains that obscured her from the rest of the wing.

He checked the clock on the wall - it was nearly ten o'clock. How long had he been out of it?

Scrambling to gather his thoughts, he glanced around and noticed that the rest of his fellow hospitalised players were asleep and that Madame Pomfrey was apparently nowhere to be seen. _She must be in her office_, Caradoc noted, a plan formulating inside his head. Well, it wasn't so much a plan as an idea to go and sit with Anna for a bit. He could tell her about the game. About how close NEWTs were getting. About all sorts of mundane or interesting things. She would like that.

Without further ado, the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain swung his legs over the edge of the bed and took a step before crumbling to the ground, only just managing to hold in his howl of pain. Apparently his ankle did not seem to be fully healed.

Impatiently grabbing the crutches left at the end of his bed, and ignoring the stabbing pains in his ribs, Caradoc proceeded to hobble over and slip through the curtains surrounding the comatose girl.

He settled himself on the edge of her bed, reaching out to hold her hand.

Anna's brain whirred into gear at the feeling of Caradoc's cool hand on hers, even though her body would not cooperate.

"Hey, Anna," Caradoc said in a whisper. "How are you doing today?"

_Oh, marvellous,_ Anna thought sarcastically. _I can't wake up and talk to you and for some reason you're all bandaged up. Not a good day!_

"You missed the quidditch cup today," Caradoc continued. "We lost, but you'll probably be pleased to know Gryffindor won."

_YES! Oh, I'm definitely rubbing this in your face when I wake up!_

"It was a good match, though. Someone even got struck by lightening - on my team, of course. You have all the luck. Although Potter did get knocked off his broom by a bludger to the back of the head. But he's fine now, don't worry. I'll bet anything he and Evans are having loads of fun at the victory party right now."

_It's nice for some. Just you wait, when I can speak and move again…_

"I'm not sure if you can hear me… I'm not good with all this sensing stuff things. Like in those corny books when people just know what their loved one is thinking or doing or about to say or whatever? I can't do that stuff, so I don't know if you can hear me. But I hope you can."

He sighed heavily. "I feel stupid, maybe I should just go back to bed…"

_No! Don't go. Stay with me, I've missed you,_ Anna thought frantically, her heart rate speeding up slightly. Caradoc could've sworn her hand twitched in his.

"Did you just…? Anna? Can you hear me?" he demanded. But the slight twitch of her fingers was all he had felt. He sighed again.

"Lupin and I had a fight," he said softly, looking away from Anna's blank face.

_Here we go…_

"It was when you were at St Mungo's - you're at Hogwarts now, just in case you didn't know. And we argued over whose fault it was that you're… well, like this now. And I was really quite nasty to him. And I'm sorry for that because I know he's your friend and I don't want to hurt your friends 'cause it might upset you-"

_Aww, that's so sweet._

"But he was right. It's all my fault. I should never have left you like that and I am so, _so_ sorry. I know I've apologised before-"

_You have? Well, I didn't hear it!_

"But I know it'll never be enough…" Caradoc looked back at his beautiful girlfriend. He reached out and gently touched his fingertips to her cheek. Anna felt his touch and would've blushed under normal circumstances, but her body was just so damn stubborn… or so she thought. Her cheeks flushed slightly under Caradoc's touch, and this, he was sure, he was not imagining. He had stared at her pale face for so many hours since the incident that any slight change stood out dramatically to him.

"Anna? Can you feel that? Can you hear me? I swear you're blushing right now!"  
_  
Really? I am? Please let this mean I can get up soon!_

Caradoc leant over her slightly, speaking softly in her ear.

"I love you, Anna Brown. I know that people who love each other don't leave each other alone in battles and don't let each other get blown up. I know that I haven't been good enough. But I promise to do better. I promise. If you please, please just wake up I'll prove it to you."

And then he did something he had seen in a muggle movie once. He leant over and gently touched his lips to hers. He pulled back, the hope in his chest making it difficult to breathe. But he was disappointed. Even his love-deprived mind couldn't imagine Anna's lips responding to his.

He stayed like that, slightly bent over her face, as he let himself (only because he was alone and there were no other guys there to call him soft) cry quietly. It wasn't crying in the traditional sense anyway. It was more like one hopeless, bitter tear slid down his cheek and splashed onto Anna's cheek.

_I really making people cry,_ Anna thought miserably, _It always makes me want to cry too. Please, stop! Caradoc! You're going to make me cry!_

The boy in question hastily wiped his damp eyes on the sleeve of his quidditch robes. Anna's cheeks were moist with tears, he noticed ruefully. If she were awake she'd probably tell him it was rude to cry on one's girlfriend. He smiled slightly, squeezing her hand that he still held in his.

He was more than a little shocked to find it squeezing back.

And... hold on a minute - he'd only let one tear fall. Anna's whole face seemed to glisten with moisture.

"Anna?" Caradoc whispered reverently.

To his complete and utter shock, he saw a glimpse of those big blue eyes for the first time in weeks as Anna's long lashes fluttered open. Caradoc felt his mouth hanging open and knew that he was probably crying again, but he couldn't care less.

"You're AWAKE!" Caradoc cried in a choked voice, overcome with happiness and relief.

"I love you, too," Anna managed to croak feebly. She smiled weakly, incredibly joyous that she was able to speak and move at long last. But mostly she was happy because she had finally said what she had needed to say a long time ago.

* * *

AN - corny, but i liked it. and i had fun with all the violence and absurdity in the quidditch match. and whoever suggested that cat's animagus be a cat, i take my hat off to you!

Please review if you have a moment. Any suggestions, wishes, etc. it's 5 min to 4am now, so im going to sleep as i have an 8am tute for journalism tomorrow (well, today) otherwise i would write more. THanks for reading - cyber cookies (choc chip, of course) and hugs for all! happy fanficcing :)

ps if i die of swine flu (i live in victoria, australia - we have a lot of cases, apparently) fear not, for i have already written bits of the next chapter and planned (in full) the sequel and my sister has my password lol. (at the moment i just havea bad cold - im just letting you all know, just in case :P)


	52. Finals

**Disclaier - **I don't own Harry. end of.

**AN **- I'm not dead! I didn't die of swine flu!!! But I was quite sick for a while with sinusitis (which makes you tired enough to need like 16 odd hours sleep a day) which is why it's taken me soooo long to update. Also, after I got better I then had my uni exams to study for and whatnot, which took up heaps of time. So yes, this is my explanation as to why it's been so long. I'm really sorry. Now I have a few weeks holidays before uni goes back so expect the final two chapters up VERY soon (and I mean that!)

And this chapter isn't great - it ties up a lot of loose ends because there's only one chapter left and then the epilogue. So, yes, very bits and pieces-y. And there's a chunk of very angsty harry in there for those of you that wanted more harry :)

Last time - Gryffindor won the quidditch cup; Anna woke up from her coma. That's the important stuff, just in case it's been so long that you've forgotten what had happened.

Happy fanficcing and please review if you have time! :)

* * *

**Chapter 51 - Finals**

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

They won!

This has to be brief because I said I'd meet James in the common room for the party, but I just thought it'd be best to get my thoughts down now - who knows what'll happen tonight. It was a crazy match today. At one point I thought James was going to die (my heart literally stopped) but luckily Sirius saved the day. In fact, he saved the day a couple of times - now there's a man you want around during a crisis. I can see why he is practically James' brother.

In other news, Remus ended up commentating the rest of the match when the Slytherin commentator was knocked out by a 'rouge' bludger. He seemed to really be enjoying himself which was great. It made a nice change to see him genuinely happy. I'm starting to think maybe my little talk with him has started to sink in after all. One can only hope.

He and Peter have gone to Hogsmeade to get supplies for the party so it should be a good night. As Head Girl I do feel some regret about allowing my house to stay up late and presumably consume some illegal alcohol (the older years, at least), especially when exams for us seventh and fifth years start next week. As in, my first NEWT is on Wednesday, practically three full days from now.

Okay, starting to hyperventilate.

Calm down, Lily. You're well prepared. You _will _pass. BREATHE!

I'd better get to that party. I need a good distraction.

… And maybe a drink…?

* * *

"I don't understand why you all insist on playing that dreadful sport," the nurse muttered under her breath as she wrapped the bandages tightly around Jonathon Bourke's forehead.

The beater had found himself knocked unconscious during the game but, thanks to a splendid rejuvenating spell and a potion to cure the nastiest of headaches, he was cleared to leave. After Madam Pomfrey had finished fixing an abnormally ugly purple bandage on his head, that is.

"It's fun," Jon mumbled in response, annoyed that he was being kept from a victory party in which he would be hailed as a brave and valiant beater who went down fighting for his team. Or that's how Jon saw it in any case. The reality may not be exactly the same.

The pensive quidditch player was roused from his inner musings as Poppy finished pinning the cloth down and someone - a Ravenclaw, judging by the glimpse of coloured quidditch robe Jon could see from behind the nurse - burst into the office.

"Madam Pomfrey, she's awake!" Caradoc cried joyfully, staggering a bit on his crutches.

"Brown?" Jonathon asked in surprise, sticking his head past the matron's middle. "Out of her coma?"

"Yes!" Caradoc beamed, "Come on, you have to see!"

Poppy hurried past Caradoc who followed her, encumbered by his crutches.

Jonathon knew two things at this point. One, Madam Pomfrey would try to keep him in the hospital wing overnight for observations if he hung around much longer, and two: everyone in Gryffindor tower would want to know that Anna was awake. With these two things in mind, he practically leapt off the examining table and raced (stealthily, of course) towards his common room.

* * *

There was something completely liberating about dancing with one's boyfriend on a couch in the middle of a crowded common room, Lily noted as she and James laughed madly. The post-victory euphoria was well and truly upon them and they began to feel as young and carefree as they had only a few short months ago.

"We won, we won, we won!" James kept repeating happily, a child-like grin refusing to leave his face. Lily just chuckled.

"I know, James. I was there."

"But Lily, we WON!"

"Am I going to have to congratulate you again?" she asked in mock annoyance, but the playful glint in her eye told James that she was far from annoyed. In fact, if he wasn't very much mistaken, he could've sworn she'd had that same look in her eye as that time they'd… well… James blushed slightly just thinking about it.

"Are you blushing?" she enquired with raised eyebrows.

"Erm, no?" her boyfriend said, with an incredibly adorable just-got-caught-with-his-hand-in-the-chocolate-frog-jar look. Lily laughed and leaned into James' chest as a familiar song came on.

"I love this song," Lily murmured into James' shirt, referring to the classic 'All my loving' by James' favourite band, the Beatles. She smiled as James started to hum along with the music.

Even though they were in a room full of rowdy, tipsy Gryffindors, at that moment Lily felt like it was just she and James dancing like they had one night in the Heads' common room. It was a nice feeling.

Meanwhile, at a small table near the foot of the girls' staircase, Cat and Sirius were trying to drink one another under the table. It had always been a competition between them, in years gone by, to see which one could last longest at certain tasks and challenges. They had often competed to see who could down the most bowls of cereal at breakfast, for example. But since they had been together, they had stopped their playful challenges altogether, working together rather than against each other.

But today it was a glorious return to tradition as Sirius took his twelfth shot of the mysterious liquor provided by Peter and hiccupped slightly.

"Not giving in already, babe?" Cat questioned cheekily.

"Not a chance," Sirius slurred, his eyes widening slightly as Cat took her thirteenth shot. "Why did I agree to do this again?"

"Because, and I quote, 'no woman can outdrink Sirius Black. His prowess in the bedroom and in the tavern shall live on beyond history itself'."

"Oh, right. That."

"Yes, that. Now stop stalling and pass out already so I can win this bet," she ordered.

At that moment, a purple-headed blur burst through the portrait hole.

"She's AWAKE!" the voice belonging to the purple-headed boy yelled.

"Bourke? What are you doing?" James called over the ruckus. "Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital wing?"

"I was, Potter. And Anna Brown's awake!"

"What?!" Lily demanded, staring at Bourke who now had the attention of at least half the room.

"I was in there and then Dearborn burst in and said she was awake and talking. I came straight here to tell you lot."

"Are you sure?" Cat asked gravely.

"Positive. He was over the bloody moon. It must be true," he reasoned.

"We should go and see her," Remus said, appearing out of the shadows where he had been playing DJ.

"Remus, old buddy, are you sure? You shouldn't and love and she's taken," Sirius slurred before collapsing to the floor in a drunken stupor.

"I'll take care of Sirius," Peter piped up. "You guys go ahead."

"Thanks, mate," James said, jumping off the couch and clapping his friend on the back. "See you soon."

Without further ado, he, Remus, Lily and Cat all raced from the common room to see if the rumours really were true.

**

* * *

**

Missing victims of the Dufftown Raids found dead

The nine muggles and three Hogsmeade residents who were reported missing following the Death Eater attacks on the village of Dufftown last month have been found dead. Fears for the safety of these people were confirmed late last night when their bodies were all discovered inside an abandoned shack three miles east of the village.

A family of warlocks on their way past saw the Dark Mark and contacted the Ministry who then sent out a team of aurors immediately. It seems that there were three locked rooms, each with three muggles and one wizard. According to a report of the scene it appears that the wands of the captured wizards were used to perform the killing curse on the muggles, before being used on the wizards themselves.

It is the belief of the Ministry that they were under the control of the Imperius Curse at the time of the murder/suicides. It is also believed that their deaths occurred merely a day before they were found, given that no one had seen or reported the Dark Mark before then.

Such ruthless and evil killings are thought to have been orchestrated directly by You-Know-Who himself.

On a similar note, in breaking news, it has been reported that the Hogwarts student who was left comatose after the attacks has finally woken up. Anna Brown is said to be well on the road to recovery although healers say she may not be fully recovered in time to take her NEWTs come next Wednesday.

For more news on suspects behind the Dufftown attack turn to page three, for further information on improvements to the nation-wide examination standards turn to page six.

* * *

Lily and Cat were the first to push through the doors of the hospital wing, with Remus and James close on their heels. The first thing that they saw was a small crowd of assorted students, teachers and Madam Pomfrey standing around the bed that they knew Anna occupied. It seemed that the entire wing were trying to get close to the girl. Cat simply barged in, pushing through the layer of invalids.

"Best friend coming through, get out of the way!"

Luckily for her, Madam Pomfrey had given Anna a brief examination and had resolved to consult the Headmaster for a more thorough inspection. Everyone, except an overjoyed-looking Caradoc, instantly melted away leaving the friends in privacy.

"You're awake!" Lily squealed in a very un-Lily-like way, throwing her arms around Anna who was propped up by many pillows.

"At last," Anna croaked with a smile, "I thought I'd never wake up!"

"So did we," James muttered quietly to himself.

"Do you mean you knew you were in a coma?" Cat queried.

"I think so. For a while it was just like being asleep, but then suddenly I could hear things. I just couldn't move."

"That sounds terrible," James said, "But it's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," the blonde replied, coughing wearily.

Caradoc wordlessly handed her a glass of water which she accepted with a grateful smile. Lily noticed the exchange and shot a worried glance toward Remus but to her surprise he didn't look fazed by the interaction between Anna and her boyfriend.

_Hmm,_ she thought, _maybe he took my words from the other night to heart and has finally gotten over her?_

Remus was pleasantly surprised to find that he didn't at all seem to mind Caradoc's presence. In fact, he was feeling quite grateful to the boy for taking such good care of Anna.

_Sure, he hasn't done so in the past, but I guess everyone has to start somewhere_, he thought. _I suppose the fact that I'm not feeling any insane urges to run him through with a carving knife means I'm not jealous. And if I'm not jealous, I guess I really do just care for Anna as a friend. _

"Anna, can I speak to you for a bit?" he asked boldly. Anna looked at Caradoc questioningly (and with a hint of worry) - even though she knew she didn't need his approval - but he simply gave her a small smile (one that made her stomach feel all fluttery) and got up to leave.

Following his lead, Lily, Cat and James all went to stand by the door. They weren't finished talking to Anna yet but they understood Remus' need to clear the air.

James gave his friend a reassuring hand on the shoulder as he passed, showing solidarity even if Remus did end up saying something incredibly stupid.

When they were alone and out of earshot, Remus began.

"So, you know how you said you could hear us..?" he asked, almost apologetically.

"I heard what you said, yeah," Anna said. "But, Remus-"

"Hold on, I need to clear something up," he interrupted and Anna thought it best to just let him get it all out, even though she knew she'd have to shut him down afterwards if he carried on in the same vein as the last time he'd spoken to her.

"Okay, so when you were in St Mungo's, Caradoc and I had a bit of an argument. I blamed him for what had happened and he accused me of still having feelings for you. At first I denied it, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. I mean, I felt really guilty for what happened to you and I got confused with my feelings of responsibility and my friendship with you."

Anna looked up at him, her blue eyes wide with compassion. She had put this boy through so much this year but he still cared about her. But now, she realised, he cared about her in the way that she needed him to - as a friend.

"Lily explained to me a few days ago that I was just getting my feelings all confused. I suppose I needed her to say it because clearly, as a gender, we're not too good with all that emotional stuff," he grinned and Anna smiled along with him. "So I just wanted to apologise and to explain what I said to you last time I came to see you. I meant it then, in that moment, I guess. But things are different and I don't… you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Anna croaked, taking another sip of her water. "Friends?"

"Friends," Remus agreed, and he felt as though a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Anna grinned, similarly relieved that a sense of normalcy would return to their lives at Hogwarts now.

"I'm going to go, now, though and help out Sirius. He's had a bit much to drink at the party. We won the cup," he grinned. "Sorry about that," he added to Caradoc who had returned to the beside.

The quidditch captain shrugged, "There are more important things, I guess. Besides, we've still got a chance for the house cup. Gryffindor may not be so lucky."

"Not with Potter and Black losing as many points as they do with their pranks," Lily added as she, Cat and James rejoined the group.

"We'll see," Remus said. "See you later," and with that he left the Hospital Wing.

"You love our pranks, Lils," James said, rolling his eyes, "No matter how much you may try to deny it in public."

"It's so good to see you guys but I'm kinda tired now…" Anna began.

"Okay. Well, we'll come back to see you tomorrow morning, if that's okay?" Cat said.

"That'd be great. I need to catch up on all the gossip," Anna replied, looking deadly serious.

"Girls," Caradoc sighed in exasperation and James laughed.

"On that note, we'll leave you be. Goodnight," Lily said, dragging her boyfriend by the hand and linking her other arm with Cat's.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to," Anna said to Caradoc who couldn't quite contain his snort of disbelief.

"You're nuts if you think I'm leaving you alone, Brown!"

"Okay," she yawned. "I quite like having you around anyway."

"That's good, 'cause you're going to be stuck with me for quite a while," he replied, settling himself in for a good night's sleep in the chair beside her bed.

As the three Gryffindors were leaving the Hospital Wing, their Headmaster was on his way in, no doubt to inspect Anna's miraculous return to the land of the living.

"Ah, Mister Potter, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said as he approached them, nodding to acknowledge Cat who smiled.

"I'll see you guys upstairs," she said, continuing down the corridor.

"Good evening, Professor," Lily beamed.

"I see you've both heard of Miss Brown's recovery, then?" Dumbledore inquired.

"We've just been to visit, sir," James replied with a small smile.

"It is wonderful news, wonderful," Dumbledore agreed. "I'm afraid she may have to undergo further treatment, though, to ensure she continues to improve satisfactorily."

"As long as she's better by Graduation," Lily said. "She wouldn't want to miss that!"

"Speaking of which, I think I mentioned at the start of the school year a Graduation ceremony and ball?" Dumbledore prompted with a raised eyebrow.

"It's ringing a bell…" James said, unsure as to where the Headmaster was going.

"I cannot recall if I mentioned that it was up to the Head Boy and Girl to make speeches at the ceremony and to organise the ball," Dumbledore summarised, amused by the looks of what could be described as horror on the faces of his school leaders.

"Your exams, of course, take precedence over such trivial things, but I suggest that you organise the invitations for the parents and relatives of the students for the graduation ceremony by the end of next week. Your exams begin on Wednesday, if I remember correctly. But they only last for two and a half weeks. The Graduation ceremony will be the Friday of the third week which doesn't give you that long. However, I'm fairly sure that your last exam, Miss Evans, is on the Tuesday. And yours, Mister Potter, is on the Wednesday, which leaves you a few full days of planning. The teachers will assist you, of course."

Again, Dumbledore had to hold himself back from smiling at the glazed expressions of his students - no doubt Lily was compiling a mental list of things to do and James was having a minor panic attack at the thought of no more Hogwarts.

"The end of year feast is the week after that, so you have a week off after exams before saying goodbye for the last time," Dumbledore said kindly.

"I don't want to leave," Lily said quietly.

"You will find bigger and better things in life, Miss Evans," Dumbledore assured her. "But, until you do, don't forget your duties as Head Students. The posters look wonderful, by the way. How is the study going?"

"Can't say I've been thinking about study all that much lately, Professor," James blurted before grinning ruefully at his own candour.

Dumbledore merely raised an eyebrow.

"It's just, err, I mean… Quidditch has been really important and then there was this business with Anna…" James trailed off looking mildly sheepish. Lily was seriously considering stamping on his foot to stop him from talking and digging himself an even deeper grave. Honestly, who ever heard of the Head Boy _not_ studying. That was the whole point of a Head Boy - he was supposed to be intelligent and conscientious! Of course, James could be when he wanted to, but often he could get away with his innate talent in place of actual study. _Lucky thing,_ Lily thought.

"Well, I trust that now all of that fuss and bother is done with, you will find time to apply yourself to your study?"

"Of course, Professor," James agreed hurriedly, mentally kicking himself (as he so frequently did).

"One more thing," Dumbledore said, lowering his voice slightly. "I've decided not to continue defence training for the remainder of the year." At James' shocked expression he hastened to explain.  
"This is because I have now had a chance to observe your skill levels and talents and I think that it would be beneficial to continue training, but outside of Hogwarts. In a few short weeks you will both be adults out in the wizarding world and it is my opinion that it is best your training waits until then to continue. I will be in touch over the holidays about that."

"Thanks, sir," James said politely.

Dumbledore smiled, "Now I think it is time you returned to your celebrations. Just don't make too much noise. I doubt Professor McGonagall will be best pleased with a rowdy house to deal with at one o'clock in the morning, especially after such a fine performance on the quidditch pitch."

"Goodnight, Professor," Lily said, taking James by the hand and continuing on towards their common room.

No sooner had they rounded the corner, did Lily spin to face James and break into a hysterical rant.

"How could we forget about the graduation ball! What are we going to do? I can't believe this. We've got absolutely no time at all! And we have to make speeches? In front of the parents and everything - it wouldn't be a problem if we'd had time, but I need to study for NEWTs! I can't be worrying about this stuff. Why didn't-"

But James - who had been preparing himself for the rant as soon as he had seen Lily's face glaze over in horror back with the Headmaster - decided to shut Lily up using the most effective method he knew.

He kissed her.

"James! Stop trying to distract me!" Lily said, pulling away after a few short seconds, slapping his chest.

"Huh," James said to himself in a semi-thoughtful tone. "I was sure that was going to work."

"Stop it, I'm being serious!" Lily whined.

"I certainly hope not," James couldn't help but say, earning an exasperated cry of desperation from his girlfriend. "Okay, sorry," he grinned. "But, really, Lils. You need to calm down. You heard Dumbledore. The most important thing right now is our NEWTs."

"What about the invitations?"

"We'll put up bulletins in the common rooms tomorrow telling seventh years to make a list of the people they want to invite to the ceremony and get them to pass it on to us. Then we'll make the invites - which won't take long because we are _magical_ and can use said magic to speed up the process - and send them out by next Friday. Simple as that."

"And what about the actual ceremony? The speeches, the ball, the food, the music?" Lily demanded.

"That'll have to wait till after we finish our exams," James said calmly. "It's all good, Lils. Trust me."

"Hmm," she sighed in reluctant agreement.

"Good…So, can I have that kiss now? You kinda killed the moment before," he grinned.

"Oh, shut up," Lily replied with a small smile, placing her lips on his.

* * *

"So Anna woke up. That's nice," Hermione said, placing the newspaper clipping on the larger of the two piles.

"Yeah, but those other wizards and the muggles. They weren't so lucky, were they?" Harry said grimly.

"You-Know-Who is gone now, though, isn't he? He won't be able to hurt anyone else," Ron said in an uncharacteristic moment of spontaneous optimism.

"But using the Imperius Curse to make people kill themselves, that's just sick," Ginny shuddered.

"I wonder where your mum lived after her parents moved, Harry," Hermione said, hoping to turn the conversation about.

"Hmm, well I never knew my grandparents so I never knew what happened to them," Harry replied.

"They wouldn't still be alive, would they?" Ron asked, but Harry merely shook his head.

"If they were, Dumbledore would've told me… and I might not have lived with the Dursleys for as long as I did. But I'd like to see their house some time… there's a lot I'd like to see."

"Well we've got all the time in the world, haven't we? No one is going to force the chosen one back to school anytime soon," Ron said hopefully, attempting again to find some loop-hole that would get him out of going back to Hogwarts.

"We are going back to finish our NEWTs whether you like it or not, Ronald," Hermione said sternly as if that were the end of it. Ginny couldn't help but smirk at the sour look on her brother's face.

"Yeah, there's a lot of stuff that I want to check out," Harry continued, ignoring the regular disagreement between his friends. "The Potter mansion, if it still exists. Maybe where my grandparents lived, too. Anything, really. Just to get to know them a little better - mum and dad."

Ginny looked pityingly upon her boyfriend. He had lost so much in his life - his parents, godfather, mentors, protectors, friends. She had just lost a brother, it was true, but she had a feeling that it didn't quite compare with the depth of Harry's losses. And so she wrapped an arm gently around him and gave him a one-armed hug. He looked at her as though snapping out of deep thought and noticed that she wasn't looking at him but at the piles of notes and parchment before them, as if mentally calculating how much he had lost by looking at what was left behind for him. Hermione and Ron (well, mostly Hermione, who grabbed Ron and dragged him along with her) quietly excused themselves from the room to go make some tea.

To Ginny's surprise, when they had gone, Harry turned and wrapped both his arms around her, turning her one-armed hug into a full embrace. She simply hugged him in return, feeling slightly guilty for enjoying the contact when Harry was obviously going through a difficult moment.

It was to her further shock that when he spoke his voice sounded thick; with either shame or tears, Ginny couldn't tell.

"She woke up from the coma. She lived… How come she got off so lightly when those three wizards were imperiused to kill themselves? I just don't get…" there was a tense pause, then Harry got up abruptly and moved to stand by the window with his back to Ginny.

"How is it that she lived when everyone else died? My parents. Sirius said Marlene McKinnon and her family were killed by Voldemort. Benjy Fenwick was found in pieces. Sirius, Dumbledore, Lupin, Tonks, Snape, Moody, Fred… they all died. It's just… after all this time. I don't… I still don't understand why."

"There's no reason, Harry," Ginny said quietly, and Harry knew that she was thinking about her older brother. "It was a war. Innocent people were hurt, that's just the way it is. You need to just… accept it," she said quietly. There was a pause before she added "I have."

Harry turned to look at her and was saddened to see this usually strong, unshakable girl close to tears. He wanted to comfort her but he needed to be comforted too.

"Fred was killed in that battle," Ginny said softly, "And I have accepted that. There's no reason; it was pointless. That's the thing about wars - they mean a lot of people die for no good reason. But Fred wouldn't have wanted everyone else to just stop. He'd want us to keep laughing, keep moving… and that's what your parents would want too."

"It's just that reading all this stuff," Harry said, "It's like they're really here. They're more real than just my memories now. They had friends and exams and quidditch and everything, just like us. And when I read things about the attacks and stuff, it just reminds me that they don't live. They die. And all this stuff that they did, everything they went through was for nothing."

"It wasn't for nothing, and you know it," Ginny said a little harshly. After all, everyone had losses to deal with; there was no use wallowing in it.

"Sorry," Harry muttered. "It's just hard."

"We could take a break..?" Ginny suggested.

"No," Harry said firmly. "I need to know this stuff. I want to know about their lives."

Ginny nodded, understanding exactly what Harry meant even though she couldn't necessarily relate.

"We're near the end now anyway," Harry sighed, almost wistfully, as he eyed the small pile left.

Ginny just slipped her hand into his, offering her support and enjoying the small modicum of calm that the action afforded her.

* * *

James,

I got the invitation to the ball and I will try my very best to make it there on time, but you know how it is at the moment. If I could, I would hunt down Voldemort myself and tell him off for giving me enough work to do as to risk not seeing my only son on his graduating day.

Congratulations on the quidditch match! I knew Gryffindor would win, after all you have all that Potter talent and have been an excellent captain, by all reports. You'll have to give me a detailed description of all the highlights when you come home for the summer. I hear there was a player struck by lightening? I look forward to hearing that one!

Dumbledore wrote me about your head injury (strange that you left it out of your last letter) so I hope you're taking good care of yourself now. Or at least letting Lily take good care of you, after all she is going into the healer training program after Hogwarts. I suppose being around you and Sirius will give her all the practice she needs.

In other news, if I've got my dates correct you've had two exams already. Would they have been Transfiguration and Herbology? How did they go? I'm sure transfiguration was a breeze for you - it was always your mother's forte.

I have to get on with some paperwork now - yes, even in the midst of a war the Ministry still insist on up-to--date filing.  
Good luck, James. Do me proud.

Love, Dad.

* * *

"To reverse the effects of the meteolojinx you add _recanto _on the end. _Recanto_ comes from Latin, meaning 'to charm away'. This suffix can only be added onto the end of jinxes and not any sort of transfigurations when performing charm work. This is because-"

"Lily, enough!" Cat cried in exasperation. "You know everything, why are you stressing out so much?"

"It's because it's her best subject and she has high expectations of herself, isn't it, Lils?"

"Get off me Potter, I'm trying to study!"

The irate redhead shrugged out from under her boyfriend's comforting arm and marched over to the nearby window, erratically flipping through her charms notes as she went. It was the first Monday of exam week; the students had already sat some of their NEWTs the previous week and the cracks were beginning to show.

"I really think the stress is getting to her," Remus said worriedly.

"Nah, really, she'll be fine. She'll ace charms, we all know she will," James said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.

"What's the wand action for the levitation charm?" Peter asked nervously, chewing on his nails.

"Honestly, Wormtail, you've had all weekend to study for this!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Swish and flick. And it's _wingardium leviosa_," Remus added dully.

"Thanks Remus," Peter muttered, ashamed at his apparent lack of intelligence.

"I can't believe you made it this far. That's, like, first year level," Sirius continued meanly.

"Sirius, drop it," Cat warned as Peter looked close to tears.

"Whatever," the animagus replied sullenly, walking off to sulk handsomely in a corner.

"Looks like Lily isn't the only one stress is getting to," Remus observed.

"Speaking of, how come you're not freaking out, Moons? I figured since you're the one that's been harping on about studying for these exams since about third year you would be doing your nut by now," James said thoughtfully.

"Firstly, I never 'do my nut'," Remus said with an ironic smile. "And secondly, since I have been studying consistently since about third year I have to say I'm feeling fairly prepared. If anyone should be worried, it should be those who have never been too fond of study." He threw a pointed look at James who paled slightly.

"I'll just, err, go read this then," he said in a slight panic, motioning to his scribbled notes which, Remus noted, there weren't very many of.

"And another one bites the dust," Cat grinned.

"How come you're not panicked, then?" Remus replied happily.

"After being Lily's best friend for the better part of seven odd years, I figure some of her charm-talent has rubbed off on me. Besides, it's my second best subject and there's no point in worrying now. The exam starts in fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes!" Peter squeaked, dropping his heavy textbook (fifth year, Cat noticed) on the floor.

Remus just discretely rolled his eyes at Cat who smirked and went back to casually perusing her notes.

This routine seemed to continue for the majority of the seventh-years exams. Lily would go off into her own stressed little bubble, James would be confident until about five minutes before when he would have a mild panic attack, Peter would be hideously nervous (with good reason), Sirius would get moody, Cat would have a fairly cavalier attitude and Remus would be unnervingly calm.

That could be said for most of their exams. The exception was, unsurprisingly, their Defence Against the Dark Arts exams. Sirius, James, Remus, Lily and Cat were exceedingly confident when it came to this particular subject.

The written exam had been a breeze for the Gryffindors, especially considering the first question on the paper was _"Give three identifying characteristics of a werewolf in contrast with a real wolf."_

The most difficult question on the paper pertained to confusion between defensive magic and dark magic and asked the students to write a small discussion on where the line should be drawn between what is considered acceptable as a defence tactic and what is unacceptable and bordering on dark magic. It was a sign of the times they were living in that this particular question was on the paper, as it was a bit of a stretch to connect it with their advanced defensive theory. This being said, James found himself spending the most time on that particular question, debating that almost any methods are acceptable when it comes to defending yourself or others in danger (excepting the killing curse, although he wasn't sure where he stood on using the cruciatus).

The year level were called into the Great Hall in alphabetical order for their practical, where they were forced to face a great number of challenges.

For those who had been to Dumbledore's specialist class (all of the three times that it had been held, that is) the exam was not as intimidating as it could have been. They were all well versed in defensive charms and hexes, including the non-verbal stuff. It was really only the dark creatures that they would have struggled with. Of course, the Marauders were well prepared and Cat (who had her sights set on being an auror); Lily only struggled slightly with the boggart - it really was difficult to make something funny out of James/Petunia/her parents lying dead on the floor.

All in all, it had gone fairly smoothly as far as exams go. James would be very surprised if he didn't receive an 'O' for DADA. Mind you, he would be fairly surprised if he didn't get 'O's on all of his NEWTs. He didn't think he was being arrogant, rather he was maintaining a confident attitude, although Lily disagreed.

"You can't possibly expect to get one hundred percent in _all_ your exams!" she exclaimed as they wandered down to the lake hand in hand. For once, they had time just to themselves (since the NEWTs had started it seemed the group felt the need to study all together!). Defence had been Lily's last exam and although they knew that she should be organising the Graduation ceremony and ball and that James should be studying for his final exam the following day (Muggle Studies) they were making the most of their time alone.

"Of course I can, Lils. I'm simply that good," James grinned, winding her up on purpose.

"You, James Potter, are an arrogant pig!" Lily exclaimed, punctuating her sentence with a sharp jab of her finger to his chest. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, however, catching her off-guard.

"Really? And what are you going to do about it, Evans?" he smirked.

"Well, if you think I'm going to kiss you, think again. I'm not going to encourage your ego any more; you're lucky your broom can get off the ground with your fat head on it," she teased, enjoying the way they often fell into teasing banter; a year ago, she would've been serious.

"Ouch, that hurts me, Lily-flower. Besides, it's not like you can talk. You _know_ you'll get an 'Outstanding' in just about everything."

"What do you mean 'just about'!" Lily grinned. James just chuckled and pulled her to his chest for a warm hug. Lily relaxed into his arms, enjoying the warmish weather that signalled the end of the school year.

It was a pleasant moment when Lily just let her eyes drift shut and listened to the steady beating of James' heart through his tee-shirt, letting the relief of having finished exams wash over her. James was similarly contented. He was confident about his Muggle Studies exam the following day; since the beginning of his Lily-infatuation he had been reading about muggles in an attempt to understand the love of his life a little better, so he was well prepared.

"I should probably start going over a seating plan for the ball," Lily sighed heavily, trying to bury her head into his chest.

"You don't _have_ to," James whined, tightening his grip on Lily.

"Oh, but I do. And _you_ should be studying," Lily said, pulling herself up off the ground.

"As previously discussed, I have no need to study," James said, standing up anyway.

"Well, Peter probably needs your help anyway."

"Hmm…"

"He's your friend, James," Lily said sternly. "Besides, I heard on the grapevine that Sirius is planning some sort of ridiculous prank for the last week of term and the sooner you help Peter, the sooner you can get back to your marauding."

"Somebody owl the _Prophet_, the Head Girl is condoning pranks!" James yelled, startling some birds out of the beech tree.

"Honestly," she shook her head. "Two words: drama queen."

"I'm no queen!" James yelled indignantly.

"Shush!" Lily giggled, "The fifth years are sitting their charms OWL in the hall… I really hope they heard that," she added, dissolving into a fresh bout of giggles.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" James shrieked (although he had known about the exams - he was just toying with the girl). Lily squealed as he chased her back to the castle, elated that life seemed to be getting better.

Little did she know that this was one of the last safe moments she would have before leaving the security of Hogwarts.

* * *

AN - please review. last chapter i got 46 reviews!!!! which i absolutely appreciate so thank you so much. And i don't expect as many this time as i expect most ppl will have forgotten about it but if you have time, please do review. if there's anything you want to see in the final chapter - like characters you want to have mentioned, pranks you want played, romantic moments you want to see - please let me know.

Thanks again to all you reviewers (especially those of you who hoped that i wouldn't die of swine flu - i didn't so YAY!) lol. Happy fanficcing!


	53. Goodbye to Hogwarts Part One

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Harry Potter, I could spend all my time writing it. Considering I haven't updated in over a month... well, you get the idea... (It's not mine!)  
References to 1930s and 40s Hollywood stars are courtesy of wikipedia - I don't own them either!

**AN** - Yes, it's been months. But I'm back now. I have my reasons for being away but they shall bore you so I will leave them out. Suffice it to say writer's block, university, a torn muscle, an uncooperative laptop and a new job have all gotten in the way of this poor story that you have all probably forgotten about by now.

But PLEASE continue reading!!!

If you're still reading, firstly, you are amazing and I love you!  
And here is what's happened so far:  
Lily and James are happy and together, Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup.  
Anna woke up from her coma and is happily with Caradoc. Remus is very cool about this even though it means he's all on his own :(  
Cat and Sirius are... well, Cat and Sirius. And Cat can animagus herself now, which is nice.  
They've all just finished their NEWTs and Lily and James (mostly Lily) are stressed about the up-and-coming graduation ceremony and ball.

In this chapter: the ceremony, the ball and occlumency entries from some of our favs :P fluffy stuff and filler to get us to the end and the sequel, to be honest. but still good, i think!  
Hope you enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 52 - Goodbye to Hogwarts Part One:**

_I hate lying in bed and thinking_, James thought to himself while staring at the dark canopy above his head_. Why am I not asleep when it's six in the morning? There's no quidditch training, I'm not supposed to be sneaking out to arrange a prank, so WHY AM I AWAKE?_

_Oh, right. _

_Graduation._

In her own bedroom, Lily was having similar thoughts.

_Lily, if you don't go back to sleep you will have bags under your eyes. And, even worse, you will forget your speech in front of the entire year AND their parents. _

_Parents. _

_I forgot that Mum and Dad would be coming today. They will love Hogwarts. I hope they don't freak out too much._

…

_This is pointless. I may as well just get up._

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, the redhead grudgingly threw the sheets back and padded across the floor, throwing on her dressing gown on the way. Yawning sleepily, she made her slow way down the stairs into the common room when she saw James emerge from his staircase at the same time.

The first thing to run through the poor girl's head was _Quick! Get to the bathroom before he sees what you look like when you wake up in the morning!_ Then she realised that James had in fact already seen that (and a good deal more) before and instead decided to greet her boyfriend with a hug.

"Morning, Lils," James said, wrapping his arms around her.

"Graduation," she replied shortly, hiding her face in his chest.

"Mhmm," James replied, rubbing soothing circles on Lily's back.

"Don't want to."

"Speeches?"

"Leaving. It's home."

James sighed, pulling away. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But let's get some breakfast, hey? We've got a long day coming up."

"Good thinking. Dibs on the bathroom first," Lily grinned, shoving past James to get to the bathroom.

"Don't take forever. Ellie left us brekkie!" James shouted through the door with a grin.

In fact, the house elf seemed to have left them half the Great Hall's worth of food on a table in front of the empty fireplace, complete with pitchers of pumpkin juice. Clearly she thought that they would need their energy for the day ahead, and she was right.

**

* * *

**

Lily's Occlumency Diary

So James has just gone in the shower and I'm eating my breakfast in the Heads' Common Room, but I can't just sit and eat with my mind empty of all thought. If I'm not thinking of a very specific thing while I sit, then I'll start to stress out about Graduation this afternoon… if that makes any sense.

So instead I thought I'd occupy myself by writing everything down. That always used to help me in the past. I only hope I can be so lucky this time around.

Well… I don't really know what to say.

Except that I don't want to leave Hogwarts, my friends, James; I don't want to give the farewell speech in front of my peers and their families who I just know will be watching, waiting for me to slip up so that they can say 'my daughter would've been a better Head Girl than this one. Serves them right for choosing a muggle-born over my so-and-so'.

… Okay, they probably won't say that but allow me my ranting - I'm one stressed out witch!

I could really use one of James' shoulder rubs right now. I swear he has magic fingers. But don't tell him that - his ego is large enough. More importantly, don't tell Sirius as he'd probably make some lewd comment about other things that James' fingers are good for and to be perfectly honest I can't cope with his unique brand of gutter humour this early in the morning.

Besides, James and I haven't… done anything since the first time.

Not because it was bad! Don't get me wrong - it was wonderful, truly. But I guess we've just both been so busy and tired with the quidditch cup and NEWTs and organising Graduation that we just haven't had the time. Which is a pity because it was really… (I'm not going to finish that sentence, use your imagination… actually, don't!)

I'M TALKING TO A JOURNAL! I MUST BE LOSING IT!

…

Well, that was a sufficient distraction, wouldn't you say? Now all I'm going to be able to think about during my speech this afternoon is me and James in bed.

Great - now I need a distraction from my distraction which has, ironically enough, proved to be too distracting. Argh!

Okay, I'll write out a copy of my speech again. Just so I know it off by heart.

**Graduation Speech**

Parents, members of the school board, faculty and staff, distinguished guests, fellow students and friends, welcome to the Graduating Ceremony of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry of the class of 1978.

(Pause for applause)

As you all know, it's been one really trying year for us all as we struggled through those Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests, dividing our time between studying, quidditch, friends and family.

I think it's safe to say as a year level we have done a wonderful job of it as our results will no doubt prove in the coming weeks.

As we move on to the next chapter of our lives we will be leaving behind a place that has become a home to us over the past seven years, and farewelling a family that we've grown to love and cherish.

I speak, of course, of Hogwarts - this beautiful castle behind me - and of the teachers we've come to respect and admire.

Professor Dumbledore has been a most enthusiastic and commanding Headmaster all these years and on behalf of the student body, I would like to thank you (incline head towards Dumbledore) for making our years at Hogwarts unforgettable. Your skill as a remarkable wizard, support as a leader and love for all things muggle - including sherbet lemons - will never be forgotten.

To Professor McGonagall as Deputy Headmistress, and to Professors Sprout, Flitwick and Slughorn, the Heads of Houses, your guidance and advice over the years has been invaluable. You are each, in your own right, truly outstanding practitioners and instructors of magic and we have been lucky to have been taught by you.

To the other teachers, of whom there are too many to mention individually, your work with us since we were tiny first years has been very much appreciated. Whether it was teaching us how to handle bowtruckles or cast shield charms, the knowledge you have endowed us with will help us in our lives we shall be beginning as we leave Hogwarts for good. Thank you for all that you have taught us.

I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank not only the staff but my fellow students.

You lot have been… amazing. When I received my letter at the start of the year with my Head Girl badge I was excited and a bit nervous about being such a prominent leader within the school community but your support has made my job so much easier. Inter-house rivalry aside, I am truly going to miss seeing you and working with you day to day. You are all incredibly talented witches and wizards and I wish you the best of luck in your years to come.

**(James' bit)**

Thank you Lily. A round of applause for the lovely Head Girl.

Now, as our dear Evans mentioned, we've all worked our wands off this year for our NEWTs with fewer mental breakdowns than the year before us (and probably with better results, too).

Since we all first met back in first year, we've made friends and enemies, become brothers and sisters, had boyfriends and girlfriends and exes and lovers. But what is most important is that we have become a family.

A very bizarre family, I'll give you that.

We've got the bunch of clever Ravenclaws - the brainy parental units who have more intelligence than they know what to do with. Then there's the Hufflepuffs, the distant cousins, who I've discovered are fiercely loyal friends. Of course we have the Slytherins, the step-siblings we love to hate who, to their credit, do have a talent for… planning. And then there's the Gryffindors, the favourite uncles and aunts who are brave, sometimes to the point of stupidity, and who also happen to be wonderful at quidditch.

But maybe I'm being a little biased.

The point is, over our years here the bonds of friendship we've formed, whether within or between our own houses, will be what help us in the transition from childhood to adulthood.

We are moving into a world that is quickly becoming darker and more dangerous than it ever has been before. I don't want to harp on about it, because today is a celebration of our achievements and a farewell to a place that has become more than just a school. But it must be said that in these dark times, when You-Know-Who and his followers are threatening all that is good and just in this world, these friendships we've made… this family, is what will be most important.

I am proud to have been your Head Boy this year. And like many of you, I was more than a little surprised when I got the job. But it has been a privilege to be your representative and I hope that I have made you proud. I certainly know that as I look out at you guys, at our Hogwarts family, I couldn't be prouder of what we have all achieved.

So here's to you, class of 78, Congratulations!

**(Applause)**

Personally, I think it's a rather good speech, but I co-wrote it so I suppose my opinion doesn't really count.

Well, James is out of the shower now and as I've finished breakfast I guess it's time to set up for the ceremony. It's taking place this afternoon at about 3pm on the lawn near the beech tree. It seems like an odd place to have it, but there is a beautiful view of the castle and it's right near the lake. Plus the beech tree is significant to James and he asked if we could have it there. Why would I say no?

But I digress, time to get ready.

AHHHHHH!!!!

* * *

By the time three o'clock rolled around, Lily was an absolute nervous wreck. After she and James had set up the rows of chairs outside in front of a raised platform (complete with lectern), she had refused to relax or eat, insisting stubbornly on rehearsing her speech again and again and again. In fact, she had read over it so many times, James was sure she would be able to say it backwards, in pig-Latin with a Mermish accent if she wanted to.

"Lily, would you just stop!" James cried at his girlfriend, who was pacing non-stop in the little marquee they had set up for the guest speakers to prepare in. Lily halted, green eyes wide, her best set of Hogwarts robes swishing gracefully at the sudden lack of motion.

"If you keep that up, you'll make me nervous too. And James Potter does not get nervous," he said firmly.

"Why did I say yes to being Head Girl?" Lily said in a whisper. "I'm terrible at public speaking, everyone knows that. I should've said no. I should've suggested someone else for the job, I should've prepared better, I-"

"Stop talking, please, Lily! You honestly are insane. I know you're a good public speaker, you've been conducting prefect meetings all year, you never had a problem answering questions in class, you rarely hold back an opinion no matter whose company you're in. Why are you so stressed!?"

Lily looked up at him through her eyelashes guiltily, "Mum and Dad are out there."

"Seriously? That's why you're so mental?"

Lily just glared at him.

"Lils, they're your parents. They've seen you naked, they've seen you wet the bed, they've seen you in ridiculous dance costumes - they are nothing to be frightened of! You know they'll be proud of you no matter what."

Lily nodded, knowing what James was saying made sense. Of course it did. She was just being silly. The fact that she had had so little sleep probably had something to do with it.

"You're right, of course. I'm being irrational. Let's just get this show on the road, shall we?"

"Okay, Dumbledore's up first with the welcome speech. Then McGonagall calls us all up onto the stage to take our certificates of graduation."

"Then everyone files off stage in an orderly manner and we say our thank-yous. And then I think the representative of the board of governors might give a speech, but I can't remember."

"Doesn't matter, all _you_ have to do is remember your speech," James said bracingly.

Lily groaned.

"It's all good, Lily-flower," came a voice from the entrance of the tent.

"Sirius, what are you doing here? You haven't come early to set up some sort of elaborate prank, have you? I swear if you meddle with any of the food I left for the parents…" she left her sentence hanging menacingly.

"It's okay, Lily," Cat said, following her boyfriend into the tent, "I've had my eye on him all day. He hasn't done anything yet."

"Like I can trust you; you're his girlfriend!" Lily joked, "But, err, just to be on the safe side…" and she rushed out of the tent to check the cucumber sandwiches for flobberworms and the china for biting teacups.

"Well, this is it, Prongs," Sirius said, taking a deep breath and looking seriously at his friend. James paused, examining his friend's face.

"Pads, you didn't _actually_ plan a prank, did you?" he asked with trepidation. Sirius' face broke into a mischievous grin.

"Well… it is our graduation…but as to a prank, now, that would be telling."

James paled. "Lily is going to kill me," he whimpered as he left the tent.

"You didn't actually do anything, did you?" Cat grinned, hand on hip.

"Nope," Sirius said, popping his p, "But our dear old Head Boy doesn't need to know that, does he? 'Sides, it'll be fun to watch him and Lily-flower squirm."

"I should tell Lily," Cat warned.

"Oh, no you don't! Sirius said, grabbing her by the hand and tugging her to him. "This graduation isn't just about the Head goody-two-shoes couple, it's about all of us saying goodbye to Hogwarts and having fun doing it. It just so happens that it will be fun for me to watch our dear leaders jump at every little thing."

Cat rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but if Lily asks afterwards, I knew nothing!"

"Deal," Sirius agreed. "Come on. We don't want to miss it. And remember, look like you've done something prank-ish."

As it turned out, the ceremony ran rather smoothly. Both Lily and James managed (by and large) to ignore the mischievous smirks their friends were giving them during their speeches and the parents and guests applauded them afterwards. Of course, the loudest cheering came when James decided to throw caution to the wind and plant a kiss slap bang on the Head Girl during the initial applause. Too shocked to respond (either by kissing back or shoving her exhibitionist of a boyfriend on the ground in disgust), Lily just stood there looking dumbstruck until Professor Sprout ushered them offstage so that the Heads of Houses could say their piece.

Afterwards, the new graduates milled about in the warm June air, mingling with their professors and parents.

Lily was happily explaining the concept of moving staircases to her mother and father, while Cat tried not to look overly affectionate with her 'aunt' and 'cousin' who had come in place of her mother and brother. Of course, anyone watching the exchange closely would've seen these two guests surreptitiously downing polyjuice potion every hour on the hour, but luckily for Cat and her family's safety everyone else was too caught up in the euphoria of finally finishing school.

Well, most people.

The Marauders, having managed to shake off their respective relatives (Sirius' uncle had come in place of his parents), were gathered under their beech tree stuck in a collective mood of something between melancholy and amusement.

"This is it, chaps," Peter said with an air of solemnity, "One of the last summer days we'll be spending at Hogwarts."

"It's been… an experience," Remus said with a smirk, raising his bottle of smuggled butterbeer aloft in a toast. "To Hogwarts."

"To the Marauders!" James chimed in.

"To friends," Peter squeaked.

"To mischief!" Sirius crowed, and they clinked their bottles together.

Each was lost in his own thoughts as he swallowed the unnecessarily warming liquid. Surprisingly, Remus was the first to break the silence.

"It occurs to me that perhaps we haven't _quite_ left our mark on this dear school yet," he said innocently, but Sirius instantly caught on, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"We already made the map, what else-" Peter began.

"One last hurrah, but what to include? Dungbombs, enchanted armour, levitating furniture, a waterslide?" James mused aloud.

"All of them… and more," Sirius said wickedly, "Now I think…"

As they leaned together in their prank-plotting huddle, those teachers that could see them from afar felt that familiar anxiety in the pits of their stomachs.

The Marauders were up to something.

* * *

Later that night, the ladies of Gryffindor were getting ready for the graduation ball Lily's dormitory. It was a formal affair but the dress code was for dresses and suits rather than robes, to accommodate for the families of muggle-borns. This suited the girls just fine, as dress robes really weren't the best option for showing off their figures.

Anna was dressed to impress in her floor length gown of crimson silk. It had a low back line, so that plenty of her smooth skin was on show, and her hair cascaded over her shoulders in loose curls. She had matched a gold necklace with a pair of heels and a clip to keep her hair off her face. All in all she looked lovely.

"Well I did have an awful long time to plan this outfit," she replied when this statement was voiced.

Cat, with her tanned skin and dark hair had opted for royal blue - a colour she knew Sirius loved on her - in a knee length dress. It was a bizarre style with a strapless bodice up top that turned into a sort of romantic tutu at the bottom with the skirt fluffed out by several layers of tulle. With hair half up in a messy style, she looked like something of a rock fairy princess.

Lily was dressed in her signature emerald green - the colour that she knew brought out her vibrant eyes and went beautifully with her hair. The dress was a throwback of sorts in that it had a silk underlay with a thin layer of darker voile over the top, gathered under the bust by a gold ribbon and flowing to halfway down her calves. With straightened hair for a change, and the emerald earrings James had given to her for her birthday she really looked quite stunning. Understated beauty, her mother would call it.

"I'm actually excited about this," Lily said, playing with the earrings in front of the mirror in the bathroom.

"Me too," Cat agreed. "School's finally finished - exams are done, the formal bit is finished. Now it's time to party!"

"Don't get too excited, I still have to do my exams," Anna grumbled from her position in front of the fire as she reapplied her lipstick.

"When?" Lily asked, joining the girls in the sitting room.

"I think the start of August… but I'm not too bothered about exams. It's not like I want to do anything that necessarily requires NEWTs."

"Isn't that when you're going away, Lil?" Cat asked.

"What _are _you going to do after school?" Lily asked at the same time.

"Dunno. I quite like writing, I wouldn't mind working for the _Prophet_ but you need a portfolio of work, and experience and recommendations and stuff."

"You'd be good at that."

"Yeah, you could work for the society pages with all their gossip," Cat joked.

"Very funny," Anna replied, poking out her tongue. "We can't all be mighty aurors saving the planet and whatnot."

"Oi! It's a noble profession," Cat defended. "I can't wait to start."

"Got to get past all that training first though," Lily said with a sigh, "I bet I'll hardly see James while he's training."

"Have you two spoken to James and Sirius about what you'll be doing after school. Living arrangements and the like?" Anna asked with interest.

"Not really," Lily replied, "I mean, I thought I'd be living with my parents in London but as it turns out they've sold the house and are moving to the countryside. Which would be nice but I don't think I want to commute that far to St Mungo's every single day."

"Well I'd always planned on getting my own place seeing as Mum and Dad are abroad a lot of the time, but I never really thought it through to the stage of actual planning," Anna contributed.

"Remember when we used to talk about living together back in second year?" Cat grinned. "We had everything planned out. You even drew a floor plan, Lil, remember?"

"I'll bet the boys plan on living together," Lily said slowly. "I mean, we're clearly too young to be going out buying houses with boyfriends. Sharing a flat would sort of make sense."

"You think we should get a flat together?" Anna asked, her blue eyes lighting up in excitement.

"That's mad!" Cat cried, "Five seconds ago we had no idea and now suddenly we're getting a flat?"

"Why not? We've lived together for ages now anyway, we know each others routines and habits, and know that we can put up with them," Lily said eagerly. "I think it's a great idea!"

"So… we're going to get a flat," Cat said, as if trying the words on for size.

"We're getting a flat," Anna agreed.

**

* * *

**

Anna's Occlumency Diary

Okay, just a quick note before the ball, while Lily's fixing her hair.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'm so happy that I woke up in time for this. I mean, imagine if I had missed the Graduation ball! The event people will likely be gossiping about for weeks to come; the final lasting memory they will have of Hogwarts; the last opportunity to look fabulous in an evening gown in front of your school friends.

Seriously, this dress should make all the girls drop dead with jealousy and all the guys want to kill Caradoc.

Sigh.

Caradoc. Insert dreamy expression here.

I don't know why we ever broke up in the first place. Granted it was probably my fault - I've never much been one for commitment - but I can't really fathom how stupid I was to give him up. He practically worships the ground I walk on. I mean, I like him for reasons other than that, but the unexplained devotion is a contributing factor.

Plus he is GORGEOUS! All that floppy brown hair and dark blue eyes, toned arms, broad shoulders… big feet. And a surprisingly gentlemanly character for someone as arrogant as him on the quidditch pitch.

I honestly think there's more to him than meets the eye, though. I want to know why he acts the way he does, thinks the things he thinks, etc. I also, obviously, would like to know why he says he loves me. Which is flattering and all but unless he's a creepy stalker (which I doubt - that's more a Marauder thing) I don't think he knows enough about me to be able to say that sort of stuff. I mean, sure, we've been good friends for a while now but he doesn't know me like Lily or Anna.

But, then again, what do I know about love?

Who am I to say there's no such thing as falling in love without reason or without knowing the person properly? The only person I've ever sort of loved was Remus and it turned out I didn't know his biggest secret. And then after I'd accepted it, well… things never really worked out.

Which is all for the best now because I have Caradoc.

I hope things work out for Remus, though, I really do. Because I want him to be happy. And _I_ want to be happy.

And I think with Caradoc I just might be.

I've had this idea floating around in the back of my head for a while now about us sharing a flat after Hogwarts. It'd be nice having someone around all the time to talk to and hug and, I don't know, eat meals with? And ever since the accident (or waking up from it) I feel sort of… comforted and safe when he's around. And I want to be there for him, to keep him safe and stuff - like that time we hexed Slytherins together in the corridors when they were threatening him. Good times. He's probably going to be a target, too. He was sent a personal letter by Voldemort _and_ he'll be joining the Order with the rest of us come the summer holidays. Living together might have given us both some small amount of comfort.

But I guess all that's out the window now that the girls and I are going to share a flat. Which I am now very excited about. Besides, it makes sense. We've been living together so long it would be strange to suddenly up and change. Like Lily says, I think we need to ease ourselves into this adult world. We're going to need our support systems, especially with You-Know-Who out there, building up his evil army.

This was only supposed to be a small entry, for Merlin's sake, I have a ball to get to and a boyfriend to wow. Time to stop my crazy ramblings and get this show on the road.

* * *

When the girls arrived in the entrance hall they split up and went to find their parents. Anna's aunt Emily, who greatly resembled her niece with the wavy blonde hair and protuberant blue eyes, had come in place of her parents who were, once again, overseas.

Cat had some difficulty finding her mother and brother as she still wasn't accustomed to seeing them in their alternate bodies, but eventually spotted them talking with James' father by the foot of the staircase.

Lily made her way nervously through the sea of bodies to find her mother and father, dressed in their muggle best, admiring the interior of the castle with another clearly muggle couple.

"Lily!" her mother cried when she saw her daughter approaching, "You look wonderful, dear."

"Thanks, Mum," Lily replied, blushing slightly in the presence of the unknown parents. They nodded politely at Mr and Mrs Evans before shuffling off to find their offspring.

"Sweetheart, you look beautiful," her father agreed, pulling her in for a hug.

"Thanks, Dad. You guys look good, too. You're wearing the cufflinks I got you for Christmas!"

"Your mum thought my outfit needed sprucing up," Greg explained. "Now where's this ball going to be?"

"It's through those doors, in the Great Hall. I think we should be let in any minute now," she said anxiously.

"You look worried, dear," Meredith observed, "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I guess… it's just that James and I were in charge of the decorations and music and food and everything. And we left clear instructions with the house elves this afternoon so that we could get ready but now I'm really worried that they've done it wrong and it'll look like an absolute mess, and no one will have anything to eat, and there will be no live music to dance to…" she trailed off when she realised sadly that James wasn't beside her to interrupt and reassure her that her worries were needless.

"Where is this James? I'd very much like to meet him," Greg said eagerly, rubbing his hands together. This only served to deepen Lily's depression.

"You have met him, Greg. Twice," Meredith said softly, holding her husband's hand.

"Oh… sorry, sweetheart. Bit forgetful these days," he said quietly to Lily.

"It's okay, Dad. Really," Lily smiled weakly, still worried about the ball.

"So where _is _James, Lil? We'd really like to meet his father," Meredith said, recovering quickly.

Lily paled and her eyes went round as galleons. "Excuse me, I'll be right back."

She rushed through the crowd, flying up a few stairs so that she could see over the mass of people. She spotted her boyfriend's messy mop of hair next to a nearly identical, though thinning, mop of hair with a few people that she assumed to be Sirius and some other random adults.

"Hi Mr Potter, James can I talk to you for a minute?" Lily said as she rushed up to him, dragging him away before he could reply.

"Sorry, Lily," James said before she could explain her slightly mad behaviour. "I knew you'd be freaking out about our preparations and everything but I couldn't get away from Dad to find you."

Lily was momentarily filled with 'warm and fuzzies' that her boyfriend had known exactly what she needed and had tried to give it to her, but then she remembered her cause for concern.

"No, that's not it. Well, it is it… but there's more important things!"

"What is it, Lily?" James asked, looking serious at the prospect of something more serious than their Gradation Ball.

"Our parents are going to meet each other tonight," she cried in anguish.

"Yes… and?"

"James, my parents are going to meet your dad _tonight_," she said slowly.

"I'm still failing to see the problem in that."

"James," Lily sighed, "This is a big deal. Meeting the parents of your boyfriend/girlfriend is a big step but to have them meet each other is _massive_. It's getting to know the future in-laws before a wedding massive. We're not ready for that!"

James took a moment to process what Lily, strange, bizarre, crazy Lily had said. Marriage? She was comparing this to getting married? James couldn't help but mentally smile (grin madly, really) at the thought of marrying his Lily, but of course that wasn't happening anytime soon so why was she making such a big deal out of it.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" he asked gently, choosing to ignore the marriage comment for now, lest he let slip that he wasn't all that opposed to the idea.

Lily sighed heavily, "Because I really want your dad to like my parents and I want them to like him, and I want them to get on and for my parents not to embarrass themselves and for your dad not to intimidate them with all his wizard-ness. And… I don't know. It's just big, okay? I just want everything to be perfect for us, you know?"

James smiled reassuringly at the redhead, taking her hands in his. "I promise, Lils, for us everything _will_ be perfect. They will get on like a house on fire and we will eventually live happily ever after… probably in some sort of cottage with many children and perhaps a dog."

Lily grinned. She loved how he could take her worries, fix them and then laugh them off for good measure.

"A dog?" she repeated playfully, "Couldn't we just get Sirius to fill that role?"

James laughed, "Probably, he'll be over all the time, I can just see it. Maybe a pony, then?"

"How about a hippogriff?"

"Or a giant squid?"

"We'd need a lake, James."

"That can be arranged."

They both broke into a fit of giggles at this point, Lily wrapping her arms around the Head Boy's waist and holding him tightly.

"I really love you, you know?" she sighed.

"I love you, too, Lily," James grinned, holding her close for approximately thirty seconds at which point the doors to the Great Hall opened and people started to file inside. James chanced a glance at Lily's expression; it was once again filled with worry.

"Only one way to find out if those house elves got it right," James said bracingly, steering Lily into the room.

* * *

Sirius and Remus entered the hall with Remus' mother and father (Sirius' parents had made their reasons for staying away very clear - Sirius was no son to them) marvelling in awe at the grandeur of the decorations.

Great silk curtains in silver, white and gold hung from the ceiling down the walls, covering some of the ancient brickwork. Small circular tables - like the ones that had been used for the Halloween ball - lined the edges of the room, each with a small ball of enchanted blue flames serving as lamps in the centre. At the staff table there was a selection of finger food and drinks (including several punchbowls that would no doubt end up spiked by the end of the evening) and on a raised platform in the corner a live band were assembling their instruments.

"Oh, good, live music," Remus said happily - it was just the sort of thing that his mum and dad loved to dance to.

"Prongs and Lily-flower did a good job, didn't they?" Sirius said, admiring the simple, yet classy, arrangement.

"We sure did," James said, appearing from behind Sirius. "Hi Mr Lupin, Mrs Lupin," James said, shaking their hands genially.

"Evening, James," Mr Lupin said in his gruff voice. "Good set-up you've done here. Is that a jazz band?"

"Jazz, swing, rock, all of the above," Lily said, joining the small group after depositing her parents at a table.

"Parents of Remus, may I introduce the lovely Lily Evans," Sirius said, gesticulating melodramatically whilst giving some sort of bow-curtsey combination.

"Nice to meet you, Lily," Mrs Lupin said. "Might I say, you look lovely in that dress."

"Thank-you," Lily blushed. "I have to say, though, these boys scrub up pretty well."

"Cheeky, Evans," Sirius grinned, "But I know you'd rather see us with no clothes at all."

"Oi, no harassing _my_ girlfriend. Haven't you got your own somewhere?" James asked, drawing Lily protectively to him.

"Good point, my dear Prongs. Until next time," he bowed, slipping away to find Cat.

* * *

Meanwhile, Caradoc had already found Anna in the crowd, introduced their relatives and had stolen her away for a quick snog and then some dancing.

"You know, for a _guy_ you're really quite good at this dancing thing," Anna teased as Caradoc spun her into his chest.

"For a little girl, you're not half bad yourself," he teased. "Mind you, I did take lessons for about three years."

"Seriously?" Anna giggled. "Why!"

"Dad thought it'd help with my quidditch coordination, Mum thought it'd make me more of a gentleman."

"Guess they were both wrong then," Anna grinned wickedly, "Ahh!" Caradoc had swept her up into his arms and was tipping her back as far as he could manage.

"Careful what you say, Brown, or I might just drop you," Caradoc threatened playfully.

"You drop me, Dearborn, and you shall be buying me another dress," Anna warned. With a shrug of agreement, the quidditch captain placed her back on her feet.

"Have I mentioned that you do look rather stunning tonight?" he asked.

"I believe so, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again," Anna smiled coyly.

"Okay then, you look absolutely gorgeous in that dress," he said in a low voice.

"Go on," Anna urged, a suggestive twinkle in her eye.

"And right now I want nothing more than to take you back upstairs to the dormitory…" he said, desire now very obvious in his voice.

"And?"

"And take that very expensive, very sexy dress off you…"

"I don't think I can wait that long," Anna said, equally desperate. Identical grins broke out on their faces.

"Empty classroom?"

"Race you there."

And with that Anna grabbed her boyfriend by the hand and practically dragged him out the door (with every intention of returning later and enjoying a very well-planned party).

* * *

"Wow," Sirius said as he approached his girlfriend. Needless to say he was more than impressed by Cat's rock-fairy ensemble. "You look… hot."

"Thanks. You don't look too shabby yourself," she grinned, taking in Sirius' black shirt and suit with dark blue tie.

"Did you manage to give your mum the slip?" Sirius asked, taking Cat by the hand and pulling her towards him.

"No, she went to talk to David, I think. And Jake's gone off to eat all the food, being the gannet that he is."

"Gannet?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind, it's just a saying," Cat said, leaning into the animagus. "You know, ever since I learnt how to become a you-know-what I've noticed that you have the vaguest hint of wet dog smell about you."

"Thanks a lot!" Sirius exclaimed, looking offended. "I'll have you know, the ladies of Hogwarts love my manly scent."

"Yes, well I guess they just aren't getting close enough. But I never said it was a bad thing."

"You like the smell of wet dog?" he smirked.

"Not exactly, but there's something comforting about your own personal smell, I guess," Cat said, looking embarrassed. "It's not like you _only_ smell of wet dog, anyway."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you smell nothing like any sort of animal but I love you anyway," he grinned, twirling her out onto the dance floor.

Cat laughed, "I love you, too, you mangy mutt."

* * *

By this stage, James and Lily had managed to slip away from the Lupins and were now making their way through the crowd onto the dance floor so that Lily could, once again, try to teach her boyfriend some sense of rhythm.

"Come on, James, it really is not that difficult. You only have to count to four!" she cried in mock exasperation. James rolled his eyes.

"Face it, Lils, I'm never going to be Fred Astaire. The sooner you accept this, the sooner I can eat dinner."

"You know Astaire?"

"Well, not personally. You seem to forget I took muggle studies for many years just to impress you. Don't tell me it's finally paying off after we're already dating?!"

Lily laughed, "You can be very funny when you try, Potter."

"So, does that mean I'm off the hook?" James asked hopefully.

"Think again," Lily grinned.

"I've always seen myself as more of a James Dean. See, we even share the name."

"You're no rebel without a cause. I've always seen Sirius as the James Dean type-" (James snorted at this) "You're more…-"

"Errol Flynn? International sex symbol?"

"No, I was thinking-"

"Clark Gable? Handsome, virile with an undeniable twinkle in his eye?" James winked saucily.

"You really did study hard, didn't you?" Lily said in amusement.

"Yep, and this stuff wasn't even on the exam," James said, puffing his chest out proudly.

"You don't say," Lily intoned sarcastically. "Anyway, I was going to say that you're more of a-"

"Cary Grant? The epitome of masculinity, grace and charm?"

"That about sums you up, wouldn't you say?" Lily grinned "But I was going to say Humphrey Bogart. Star of Casablanca, unexpected hero, sexy, all around popular good guy."

"You think Bogart is sexy?"

"He's a bit old… but I think you're sexy, does that count?" she giggled.

"If you say so," James replied cheekily, "And would that make you Lauren Bacall?"

"You know, I think it would," Lily said giving her boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek before twirling away from him.

"Did you know they were married for many years until his death in 1957?"

"Did you know that there was a 25 year age gap between them?" Lily countered.

"Eww, really?"

"Yep, but still… they loved each other so it didn't matter," she sighed, caught up momentarily in the romantic notion of love transcending all obstacles.

"You know, Lils," James interrupted her musings, "I love you-"

"I know that, you dolt."

"Let me finish, please," James said quietly, and for one heart-stopping minute Lily was almost convinced that he was about to propose to her. She just gulped, collected herself and nodded for him to continue.

"Well, I love you and I don't really want to let you go," James said. "But in a week we'll be leaving here for good and I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, your parents are moving to the country, auror training is in London…"

"You're not trying to break up with me, are you?" Lily asked cautiously.

"Don't be stupid, Lily. Why would I spend seven years chasing after you then dump you because we won't be living together anymore? No, the point is that I would love for you to come and live with me, but we kind of made a pact as the Marauders that we would share a flat after Hogwarts and…" he seemed to be struggling to find the right words. "Look, I'm sorry, Lils. But I promised, and the guys are really important to me and Moony will need us every month, and Peter's too scared to live on his own, and Sirius… well, he's my brother and-"

"James, don't worry," Lily smiled. "I was wondering how I was going to tell you that the girls and I are going to live together, too. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"You guys are getting a flat?"

"Well, yeah. I know I said I was going to live at home but I need to be close to St Mungo's for training, and Cat needs to be near the Ministry for auror training and I guess it just sort of made sense. Besides, it's not like we could just move in together. I mean, we've barely been dating a year. And, you know, we're not engaged or anything," she chuckled nervously.

"Yeah… yes, exactly," James agreed awkwardly as they revolved on the spot, each lost in their own thoughts about making such a huge commitment at such a young age.

"You know, though…" Lily said slowly, "If we did live together…"

"It'd be somewhere in suburbia," James finished. "Somewhere close to people but with enough fresh air to have a veggie patch."

Lily grinned in spite of herself. "And enough of a backyard for a pond and a giant squid."

They both laughed at the thought, then Lily spotted Cat and Sirius nearby.

"I think we should talk to Cat and Sirius about this boys flat/girls flat thing. Maybe we could live nearby so seeing each other everyday wouldn't be too difficult?" Lily suggested hopefully.

"That sounds like a great idea," James agreed, his face braking into his trademark lopsided grin.

* * *

The rest of the evening ran as smoothly as the Head Students could have hoped for. The live band were a hit with the students and their parents. Remus got asked to dance by four different girls (and one boy), Cat and Sirius made plans with Lily and James so that the girls' flat would be close enough for them all to see each other as regularly as possible. Peter and his beady-eyed mother had a heated discussion which culminated in the mousy woman storming out of the hall, and Peter getting a sympathy snog from a tipsy Ravenclaw. Anna and Caradoc had returned from their brief, though satisfying, alone time and had rejoined the party with even more gusto and dance-enthusiasm than before.  
All in all, it was a relatively successful evening.

The hard part was saying goodbye to the parents at the end of things.

"We'll see you next week, sweetheart," Meredith said, pulling Lily into a tight embrace. "We'll start packing before then, but we'll leave your room for you to do."

"Have a good week, petal," Greg said, hugging her before following Meredith towards the horseless carriages.

"And don't forget to tell me all the gossip," Anna's aunt insisted. "That Caradoc is a wonderful boy, but don't worry, I won't tell your mother a thing," she winked conspiratorially.

"Thanks, Aunty Emily. I'll see you next weekend. Shopping?"

"Can't wait, honey," the woman replied with a dramatic wave goodbye.

"-And we have the cellar set up for the you-know-what in a fortnight's time," Remus' mother was whispering while Mr Lupin loitered impatiently by the carriages.

"Yes, mum, I _know_," Remus insisted, trying to push his mother out the door.

"Be a good boy and stay out of trouble. I want you home in one piece, okay?"

"Yes, Mum. See you soon," Remus sighed in exasperation. Words could not even begin to describe how little he was looking forward to going home.

"So I'll be staying with Lily for the first weekend back, then I'm going to the Potters' for a week, then I'll come visit, okay?" Cat was saying to her disguised mother.

"Of course, honey. We'll talk more about your living arrangements when you come home. I know our situation isn't ideal but it's only temporary, okay?"

"Thanks, Mum," Cat whispered through tears as she held the stranger tightly. Ruffling her brother's hair in farewell, she turned and went with Sirius back to the common room.

James' was one of the last parents to leave as he was deep in discussion with Dumbledore for a good part of the night.

"Thanks for getting away from work for this, Dad," James said, "It really meant a lot to me… even though I spent most of the night with my friends and Lils," he added guiltily. But David merely chuckled.

"I understand. If I had a girl like Lily on my arm-"

"PLEASE don't finish that sentence!" James winced.

"Anyway, I'm very proud of you, son. You've done the Potters proud," David beamed.

"Thanks, Dad," James said, truly chuffed that his dad was proud of him.

"I'll see you next week, then?" David asked. "If I'm home."

"Yep. Of course, Sirius is coming too. And then the week after I think Cat's coming to stay-"

"Yes, I just spoke with her mother," David agreed.

"Then I was wondering if maybe it'd make sense to invite the whole gang?" James wheedled, causing his father to chuckle again.

"You just don't want to be a third wheel, do you?" he grinned. Before James could respond he amended, "Of course it's okay. It'll be nice to have the house full of people again. The elves will be beside themselves."

Now it was James' turn to laugh.

"See you later, James."

"Not if I see you first," James replied with a grin, hugging his dad one last time before watching him get into a carriage and drive away.

**

* * *

**

Remus' Occlumency Diary

Well that was an interesting night.

I hadn't really noticed before how lonely it could be with all your friends paired off in couples. I suppose I don't really notice it much in classes or at mealtimes because we all sit in one large group but when it's a 'couples' thing like our graduation ball… well, suffice it to say I got a bit lonely.

I'm not complaining - I quite like being on my own sometimes. This was more the sort of lonely you feel when you have to be around people you don't really want to be around.

I spent a good deal of the night with mum and dad and while I love them dearly, I would rather have been in the dorm reading a good book.

And then there was all that dancing - my feet are _so sore_!

Four girls asked me to dance. And one guy.

I had considered, after the whole Anna/Claire debacle of '78, that maybe I should give up on the female gender altogether as they are simply too much trouble. But, having now danced (a little too close, for my liking) with a male I'm pretty sure I'll stick with the girls. It's just not for me (in spite of all the 'aww' noises all the girls were giving us). I'd probably rather go solo than… but I digress. The point is, I have never been this popular (for want of a better word).

I know I'm back on the market now, as it were, but people have never shown that much interest in me before. I wonder if it's because I'm some sort of tragic, romantic figure to them? Probably, considering the rumours (and facts) that the Hogwarts rumour mill has been churning out about me all year.

But I don't really want to think about all that stuff. It's in the past so it's best left there.

I'm more interested to know what's going to happen to us all in the next few weeks and, I guess, years. It's times like these I wish I was a seer so I could feel safe and secure. But no such luck, so I am forced to speculate.

As soon as we leave Hogwarts for the last time - next Friday - I have to go to the Ministry and sign my name on the official werewolves register. I should've done it when I turned 17 but I was excused because I hadn't completed my schooling.

Basically the register is to keep tabs on all known werewolves during our special time of the month. Or that's the Ministry's mission statement at least. I know it's really to keep us from finding employment. I know I should be used to that sort of discrimination by now, but it still annoys me to think that my chances at equal opportunities are pretty much non-existent when stupider, less efficient, crueller people will get jobs over me JUST because I have a furry little problem.

I'm a bit worried, too, to have my name permanently on some record for lycanthropy. What if one day they create a new law to slaughter all the 'half-breeds' and werewolves because they pose a danger to society and we need to think about 'the greater good'? It scares me to think that they will know who I am and they will be able to hunt me down.

I wonder if they chip us like stray dogs?

I wonder what this means for me during the full moon… Are they going to lock me up, see me from keeping my friends? I'll be all alone in the bad way and no one, not even Padfoot, Wormtail or Prongs will be able to help.

…

Well this is a thoroughly depressing line of thought. Time for something new.

Ah, yes, my brilliant idea. It's about the map.

When we created our map - the Marauders Map - all those years ago, we never imagined just how useful or powerful it could be. But I also don't think we realised that our time at Hogwarts was limited.  
We saw it as this miracle cure to save us from getting into trouble - helping us to avoid teachers, know where each other are, etc - but once we leave Hogwarts, it's going to be fairly useless to us.

Which is why I thought we need to pass it onto the next generation of trouble makers.

I know Sirius and Peter won't like the idea of just giving our most prized possession away to some strangers who may have up-and-coming comic potential, and James will probably insist that we keep it for old times sake.

But I think that those who use the map need to be _worthy_ to use it.

This got me to thinking: what is the mark of a good troublemaker? As the prefect in the group, I feel it is my area of expertise - I've seen enough rule breakers to last a life time.

They have to be clever, inventive, a little bit reckless and generally have a good sense of humour. They are also undoubtedly going to be caught by Filch at one stage or other of their young, havoc-causing lives. Which brings me to my plan.

Following the greatest prank Hogwarts has ever seen (scheduled for this Tuesday) I think the Marauders should allow themselves to be caught - by Filch - and have the map confiscated (without letting him know it's a map). Any self-respecting prankster will inevitably go through Filch's confiscated drawer when he inevitably leaves to double check with Dumbledore that hanging rule breakers from the ceiling is still illegal. Only a true rule breaking, prankster/marauder-in-the-making will be able to see the map for what it truly is. Thus, the deserving recipient of the map shall be chosen.

I, personally, think it a brilliant plan but my opinion shan't count for much considering that it was my idea in the first place.

The point still stands, though. I'll tell the others about my scheme in the morning, I'm too worn out for now. I NEED SLEEP!

* * *

**AN2** - I had to stop there because I worried that if I tried to write too much, I would dry out like a prune on account of not having written for so long... and that would obviously be a bad thing. I have two assignments and a jazz exam next week. I would say that it'd keep me from writing but I am the ultimate procrastinator... so I'll probably post again soon.  
In any case, it won't be another month. I PROMISE! because I need to keep you guys reading because I'm so excited about the sequel i just have to get this stuff out of the way first!

Thanks again for sticking with the story my lovely, beautiful, fantastic readers. You all deserve platters of cyber cookies - enjoy :P  
Until next time, happy fanficcing! xoxo

PS special thanks to the following people who reviewed the last chapter - I truly appreciate your reviews and please each accept a cyber hug from me. It means a lot to me that you review and i really hope that my extended absence won't stop you from reviewing this chapter! happy fanficcing :)


	54. Goodbye to Hogwarts Part Two

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or his affiliated theme parks... but one day I would very much like to visit

**AN: **I know none of you are interested in excuses for my 3ish month absence from fanfiction, but I am going to give you three very good reasons. 1) my laptop completely died! all the keys in the upper right hand corner of the keyboard stopped working. i couldn't even sign in!!! so i had to buy a new one (a mac wooo!) and that took me a while, considering i am a poor uni student with limited funds. 2) university. okay, so we've been on holidays for about two months but the stress lingers on. choosing new subjects, sending in lots of paperwork for my education degree (nightmare!) and generally struggling to accept the fact that i still have THREE YEARS left on my double degree (please, kill me now!). and 3) i have had the WORST case of writer's block in the history of the universe... mostly i think because I don't want to finish this fic (and this is the last chapter before the epilogue). My theory is that my subconscious was secretly preventing me from constructing worthy sentences in the hopes that it could hang onto this story for a bit longer. BUT at last i have finished and I hope that it was worth the wait and that it isn't too crap :D

So, in conclusion, I'm sorry for being stupidly slow updating. Thank you for your continued support and reviews!! and enjoy :) happy fanficcing!

**Last time - **I can't actually remember... It was their last few weeks of Hogwarts. A graduation ceremony, etc.

* * *

**Chapter 53 - Goodbye to Hogwarts Part Two**

**Cat's Occlumency Diary**

It's strange to hug a stranger and know that they are someone you've known your whole life. Surreal, really.

On its own, that sentence does not make much sense. But, then again, no one should be reading my diary so it doesn't really matter, does it? (In case you're thinking of answering, don't - it was rhetorical).

I'm not looking forward to going 'home'. It's nicer since Sirius and I fixed it up back in April but it's still not the same. It just reminds me of what happened to Dad and where I really should be; at our real home.

It's weird seeing Mum and Jake in other people's skins.

I sometimes wonder if the muggles know that they've got doppelgangers walking around Scotland and Cardiff half the time. It'd be weird to have a double. I can only imagine the damage someone might be able to do with another person's identity. Not mine, of course. I'm not that important. But imagine if someone got the Minister for Magic and pretended to be him for a day. It'd be a catastrophe.

But there's really no point to this rambling. I just can't sleep.

We've finished all the graduation stuff and now we've got only a week to say goodbye to Hogwarts. I got Mum to bring me some stuff to give to the teachers. I think Lil got her presents last time she was in London - she's just that organised - and Anna, well… she's been in a coma, so no presents but I'm sure she's got some really nice cards for them. She always was quite good with words. We're going to give them out before we go, just as a thank you for all their hard work over the years. Lily's idea, of course. I think she feels a bit guilty on behalf of all the mischief her now boyfriend has caused. By her standards, so should I. But I've never been a great follower of rules myself so it doesn't really worry me.

I'm getting off topic again.

So the plan for next week is to give the teachers their presents, say goodbye to the quidditch pitch, and hopefully make some lasting memories that will take me through the horror months of advanced auror training. I know the boys have some big prank planned but none of us know when it's going to happen, only that it's going to be huge. The people of Hogwarts should be on their guard…

I'm going to miss it here. I've gotten quite used to this bed, these curtains, the strange smell in the common room and having classes with everyone. Okay, so I won't miss the classes or anything, but the people. Not even just my friends - I know I'll still see them. I mean, I'll be living with Lils and Anna, and I don't think I could get rid of Sirius if I tried. But it's going to be the random people that I miss. That fifth year kid from the team cheer squad who always used to wear a bizarre lion costume to open training sessions, the twins from second year who spent the better half of the term following Lily around between classes trying to get her autograph, the kid whose name escapes me who always leaves the dining table just as I sit down (and I could never work out why). These are the people I will miss seeing all the time - I'm just used to it here.

Mind you, I'm not going to miss the study. I'll have plenty to keep me busy at Auror training.

Dumbledore managed to get me, Sirius, James and a few others into the advanced course so that we can do in a year and a half what would normally take three years, so it's going to be pretty full on.

I don't want to get all mushy and girly but I'm really, _really_ glad that Sirius and I are doing it together. At least I'm guaranteed to see him at least once a day. I feel kinda sorry for Lily, though. She's doing some sort of internship/training course thing at St Mungo's to be a healer. I can only imagine how awful her hours are going to be. She and James, between them, will have so little spare time I'll bet they'll hardly see each other.

I think this is probably the last time I'll write in this at school - I'll be too busy next week to think about it. So I think it only fitting that I write about my favourite Hogwarts memory (I got the idea from Lily).

It's tough, because there are quite a few good ones - I'll give you the top five:

Five - it was the first time I met Lily when we had just been sorted. I was sitting opposite James and Sirius who I ended up sharing a boat with across the lake, and Lily came over to the table. Sirius made room for her but she just turned her back on him and James and sat down. I remember just laughing at their identical looks of surprise (and James' mild look of disappointment). And then Lily looked at me sort of embarrassed that she'd obviously been rude to the boys and I stuck out my hand and introduced myself. The look on the boys' faces _then_ was even better. When Lily and I became quick friends James couldn't believe it. He kept trying to tell me she was friends with the 'weird greasy kid from Slytherin' but I didn't care because it turned out Lily was very funny, bright and slightly odd so we made perfect friends. So, yeah, it was when good old Lils blatantly gave the cold shoulder (the first of many) to two boys who I am sure had never heard the word 'no' before. Classic.

Four - Third year when I beat the boggart in our defence class. I was the first one to do it and it felt really good. I had quite a good year in that class, actually. I remember duelling practice when I was paired with Remus (who was the best in the class) and I managed to disarm him and put him in a full body bind within minutes. It hasn't exactly happened since then, but I won about twenty house points AND got the respect of the newly titled 'Marauders' (even though I had enough blackmail dirt on Sirius and James to make them do anything I wanted anyway).

Three - My birthday in sixth year. We'd only been back about three weeks but everyone was already stressed because of the amount of homework the teachers had piled on us. And I remember waking up to a stack of presents at the end of my bed and then going down to breakfast with Anna and Lily. At the time I hadn't noticed anything wrong but when we sat down at the table and I looked around I noticed everyone else had brightly purple coloured hair - my favourite colour. Everyone except me, the girls, James and Remus, that is. I couldn't stop laughing! The best part was that no-one realised their hair had changed colour, except those that were unaffected. I knew it was a sort of birthday present from the Marauders - it had good-humoured mischief written all over it. The fact that James and Remus had gone and pranked Sirius and Peter as well just made it even better.

Number two is an easy one - When Lily, Anna and I skived off transfiguration in fourth year. Anna's parents had forgotten her birthday and she was really upset but trying not to show it, so I suggested a picnic afternoon instead of going to McGonagall's class. We got supplies from the elves in the kitchens and went up to the astronomy tower, I think. The whole time we were there Lily was nearly wetting her pants because she was so nervous she was going to get caught. And we nearly did get caught by the batty divination professor, too, but Anna talked her way out of it, saying she had predicted that she would meet a tall, dark stranger in the tower and, being an old romantic, the professor let her go. I just remember playing stupid games and eating and laughing and having a generally wonderful time. It was before all this Voldemort stuff got huge, so they were simpler times. Good times.

Which brings me to number one. And, let's face it, this was an easy winner. The quidditch cup this year when we won! Sure I nearly fell of my broom a couple of times and broke my hand punching a Ravenclaw in the face, but it was worth it. My broom did end up shattering against the goal post but it's about time I got a new one anyway and Mum did promise to get me one as a graduation present. AND I scored a fair few goals (I do know the precise number but to write it down would seem like boasting).

So that was clearly my favourite memory.

Well, that's about all I have time for. I should be getting some sleep.

Goodnight journal.

* * *

Saturday afternoon rolled around, warm and sunny, providing the new graduates an opportunity to frolic in the sunshine. As such, Lily and Cat had planned a picnic for themselves and the boys. Anna was doing her best to make up for lost time with Caradoc, so it was just the Marauders that joined them under the beech tree near the lake.

"There's something odd about the smell of this rug," Lily said, wrinkling her nose as she unpacked the red chequered sheet.

"Well, we found it in the Room of Requirement, so who knows where it's been?" James agreed, grabbing the corners and helping Lily to lay it flat.

"That's reassuring," Remus intoned sarcastically, flopping down on the grass next to the rug.

"It's the best I could do on short notice," Sirius said, "It was this or my bed sheets and you all know as well as I do what goes on atop those."

"Not something they needed to know, Sirius," Cat muttered in exasperation.

"I hope there's cheese in here," Peter said, riffling through the basket Lily and Cat had had the task of filling.

"Yes, Peter, there's tasty, cheddar and brie. Just for you," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Awesome," the greedy boy muttered. James shook his head; sometimes it worried him how much Peter really was like his animagus counterpart.

"Aside from the smell, this is really nice," Remus commented, rolling onto his stomach and opening a thick book in front of him.

"Aww, Moons, you're not going to read the whole time, are you?" Sirius whined.

"I should think you'd have enough people to entertain you without me joining in, Pads," Remus replied, turning a page. Sirius pouted but was then quickly distracted by the breadstick Lily had extracted and begun to slice up.

When they'd all eaten their share (and some, more than their share) they continued to just generally laze about, enjoying a moment's peace. Lily was lying with her head in James' lap while he absently played with her hair, Sirius and Cat were rolling an empty butterbeer bottle back and forth between them, Remus, as ever, had his head in a book and Peter was snoozing on his back.

"I wonder if he'd wake up if we rolled him into the lake?" Sirius mused aloud.

"Of course he would!" Cat replied.

"I don't know, he's a pretty heavy sleeper," Remus added.

"Care to test the theory then, Moony, my good friend?" James grinned. Lily raised a disapproving eyebrow at him but got off his lap anyway.

"I'd rather observe the results," Remus said casually.

"You just don't want the blame!" Sirius cried.

"Maybe we should roll him in, too. So it doesn't look suspicious," James grinned.

"Okay, fine, I'll help," Remus conceded, carefully placing his bookmark at the appropriate page and pulling out his wand. "I think it'd be better if we used magic."

"Done," Sirius agreed. In synch, the boys raised their wands and wordlessly cast a spell that set Peter rolling gently towards the lake.

"I can't believe you're going to sit by and watch this happen, Miss Head Girl," Cat muttered to Lily, who just shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't really feel that role belongs to me anymore - we're practically gone. And besides," the redhead smirked, "I've always wondered whether the Giant Squid is male or female. This way we can find out for sure."

"I disagree, Evans," Sirius said, flopping back down next to her, "Male or Female, who would want Peter?"

At that moment, Peter's sleeping torso touched the water and the boy let out a shriek to rival a six year old girl's. Unfortunately for Peter, he could not seem to stop rolling for the next few metres, so by the time he was in control of his limbs to swim back in, the Giant Squid (ancient, and probably lonely, inhabitant of the Black Lake) had heard his shriek and had come swimming.

"Oh no, we'd better help him out," James said with no real conviction.

"We're coming, Pete," Sirius called, half-heartedly.

"Yep, any minute now," Cat agreed. She, like the rest of them, was transfixed by the spectacle.

Peter flailed about, splashing madly as he tried to get back to shore.

"Come on, help him out, guys," Lily said at last.

"Okay," James conceded, raising his wand. At that moment, a thick scaly tentacle broke the water's surface, reaching towards Peter.

"Uh-oh," Sirius said.

"AHHHH!" Peter cried as the tentacle made to wrap around his middle.

"_Relashio_," Remus shouted, blasting the offending tentacle with the relinquishing charm. The tentacle recoiled away from the sparks that had come from a distance but fortunately for the Giant Squid it had several more tentacles with which to assault poor Peter.

Another long tentacle rose from below but instead of wrapping itself around Peter, it clumsily stroked the side of his face, forcing the boy to hysterical tears.

"_Levicorpus!_" James commanded, jerking Peter into the air by his ankle.

"_Mobilicorpus_," Sirius added, setting their friend the right way up and levitating him back to safe ground. Peter crashed to the ground, dripping and spluttering. "It- it, and then. It was… ughh!" he shuddered, then promptly passed out.

"I wonder if he'll work out that it was us when he comes to," Remus mused.

"I guess that answers the question about the Giant Squid's sexuality then," James said, unable restrain his smirk.

"Pity, Evans. Guess you'll have to stick with quidditch-head over there," Sirius grinned.

Lily just looked confused.

"Remember in fifth year when you said you'd sooner date the Giant Squid than James?" Remus prompted.

"Oh, yeah," Lily smiled. "Shows what I know."

"Clearly you didn't know the squid was a she," Cat chuckled, sending the whole group into a fit of laughter.

It was one of those rare moments when everyone felt perfectly content with the way things were. It was, in fact, the last moment they all spent together that weekend, as the Marauders then went into their version of conclave, only emerging when they had a plan for their massive prank.

* * *

**Peter's Occlumency Diary**

I still can't work out how I ended up in the lake. I mean, one minute I was dreaming of cheesecake and fluffy pillows and a pretty Hufflepuff girl, and the next I was cold, wet and being molested by a slippery tentacle. It was AWFUL!  
I could have rolled into the lake because, well (and I don't mind admitting to a diary), I'm a little bit round. And the lake _was_ downhill a little. But why would I have started rolling in the first place?

It seems like the sort of thing the guys would do but they wouldn't do it to _me_, would they? Anyway, they didn't mention it so I guess not. If they did, then I guess we're not as close as I thought we were. But that'll all become clear when we leave Hogwarts - if we stay in touch or if we don't, you know?

James and Sirius are the most popular guys in the school so it's good to be their friend. Plus Remus is really smart and helps me with my homework. But once we've left Hogwarts are we all still going to hang out together? They might not have time for me with auror training and everything. And will I even need them?

Things are changing and it's going to be different after school. There's that group that's gathering followers and soon I know James and Sirius won't be the biggest people in the playground…

Anyway, I don't want to think about that at the moment. For now, they're my friends and that's all that matters.

I'm preoccupied with our plans for the big prank on Tuesday. It's going to be unbelievable. All the hard stuff is being done by the other guys but I get to help with distracting the teachers. AND they were even going to let me put the first part into action. But I don't want to spoil the surprise (it's to do with the owlery…).

I'd better go, I have to pack and I just know it's going to take all week. I'm not even sure which bits of the mess in here belongs to me or even whether it's even this year's mess…

* * *

Tuesday began as any other Tuesday… well, aside from the fact that the fifth and seventh years had finished their big exams, and only the ickle firsties still had the end of year testing to go. And the fact that due to an unexplained dung bomb incident, the Hogwarts owls had taken up residence on the ends of the house tables in the Great Hall. Oh, and the fact that everyone who had sat down to breakfast had begun to sprout little green hairs on their hands as soon as they touched their cutlery.  
So, really, it wasn't an ordinary Tuesday after all.

The student body at large had been generally apprehensive since the graduation of the seventh years because everyone knew that the Marauders would have to have one last hurrah before they left. It seemed that the distinct lack of pranks over the weekend and Monday had lulled them all into a false sense of security, for none of them performed anti-enchantment spells before breakfast - a notoriously opportune moment to prank a whole lot of people at once.

"It wouldn't work anyway," Remus had explained to his fellow Marauders as they discussed potential hazards on the way to breakfast. "I made the spell work largely undetectable for this morning's instalment."

"We didn't," Sirius said, "But by lunchtime I hardly think anyone will care anymore."

As they entered the Great Hall, dozens of suspicious pairs of eyes stared up at them. The Marauders chose to ignore this and casually sat down amid the owls and Gryffindors, picked up their cutlery and began to eat breakfast, also ignoring the little green hairs that sprouted from their own hands.

Lily and Cat, who had come down before the Marauders, looked up at them with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

"Why are you guys affected by your own wand work?" Cat asked.

"Sweetheart, I'm offended!" Sirius cried dramatically, to the eye rolling of his friends. "To think that we would prey on the students of this school in such a crude and unsubtle manner-"

"We know you guys did it, Sirius," Lily said.

"Wouldn't be fair otherwise," James answered, before shoving a spoon-full of cereal into his mouth.

"Aww, my Jamesie is all growed up," Sirius mocked, before Lily kicked him under the table then leaned across and gave her boyfriend a big, sloppy kiss on the forehead.

"I'm proud," she said.

"You won't be in a minute," Remus said with a smirk.

"Why?" Lily said, suddenly on her guard.

"Because James was in charge of the next bit."

"What next bit?"

"You have to wait til the hall's full."

"What next bit, Remus Lupin?" Lily growled in her renowned prefect voice.

"The owls," Peter grinned.

As soon as the words had left his mouth, the aforementioned owls (who were currently perched on the ends of the house tables) all rose up into the air.

"Oh dear," Lily moaned over the oohs and ahhs of the assembled students.

The tawny owls and barn owls formed a large circle flying clockwise, while the lighter-coloured owls (namely, the snowy owls) circled in the opposite direction. Simultaneously, five owls pulled into a sharp dive, swooping in opposite directions over the staff and house tables, long coloured ribbons attacked to their feet unfurling as they went.

"That's quite nice, actually," Cat said.

"Just you wait," Sirius grinned. As he spoke, four owls broke off from the group and dive bombed the Slytherin table. With poo, of course.

"Oh, James, why?!" Lily moaned, burying her head in her hands.

"That bit was my idea, actually," Sirius confessed.

"I thought you'd all gotten past that vendetta."

"Nope," Sirius and James chorused.

"Fine, I'm done here," Lily said, rising to leave.

"Wait, Lils, the best bit is yet to come," James pleaded.

Lily looked to the ceiling which had suddenly turned to a beautiful soft sunset, bathing the room in soft pink and orange light. All the owls assembled together again, flapping so as to remain in the air, but not moving about as they had been before. They appeared to be hovering and if Lily wasn't very much mistaken, they appeared to be spelling something out.

"I still can't believe of all the things you could've had them spell out, you chose 'I love Lily Evans'," Sirius scoffed. James had the decency to blush a little at this.

Lily gave in and smiled. "You know you won't always get me to forgive you for pranks you pull on the Slytherins by getting some owls to tell me how much you love me," she said.

"I know… but there's always the hippogriffs and I hear they're much more difficult to train."

Lily hit him playfully on the arm, chuckling.

"You know McGonagall is going to know it was you lot because of that," Cat said.

"As if she wouldn't have guessed anyway," Sirius replied. "Besides, all we have to do is avoid or distract her for the day so we can continue our good work. After that she can have at us for all I care. In fact, it'd be good to have one last yelling at… for old times' sake, you know?"

"Well, it looks as if you'll get your wish. She's sending you death rays with that glare of hers," Lily said.

"Time to go, then. We need to get ready for phase two," Remus said.

"Should we be concerned?" Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course not. The next bit was Sirius' idea," James grinned, chuckling at the look of horror on Lily's face.

"Come on, guys. Time to go," Peter said, grabbing James by the shirtsleeve and tugging, as they all turned to see McGonagall approaching.

"Later, Lils," James said before dashing off.

* * *

Phase two, as it turned out, was more for the entertainment of the Hogwarts quidditch fans than anything else. The boys had managed to bewitch seven suits of armour from the third floor corridor to come down off their plinths and mount brooms borrowed from the quidditch storage cabinet (brooms that had been specially reinforced to carry the extra weight, of course). They then proceeded to fly around the school and select the players for their opposing team. Sirius had made sure that the suits of armour would keep heckling the chosen players until they gave in. After all, clunky suits of armour speaking old English and demanding a game of quidditch ought not to be ignored - they can be quite intimidating when they want to be.

It ended up that the student team consisted of Caradoc Dearborn, Flint from Slytherin (chosen so that the Marauders could see him get injured by one of the suits), Diggory from Hufflepuff, Meghan McCormack (a first year from Gryffindor whose mother played for Puddlemere United as a chaser and who had not been on this years team), Galvin Gudgeon of Hufflepuff (another first year who showed potential but had been too young), Nathan Wood (the reserve Gryffindor keeper who would've liked more on-pitch time during the final), and Madame Hooch, just to make things interesting.

"I wanted to put you in, mate, but it might be seen as bias," Sirius said, clapping James on the back as they followed the crowd down to the quidditch pitch.

"You put all the other captains in," Peter pointed out.

"Yes, but to be honest I anticipate that Flint will get knocked off his broom within the first, ooh, thirty seconds. Then there will be three Gryffindors, two Hufflepuffs and only one Ravenclaw. So for reserves I chose that girly blonde Slytherin fourth year-"

"Candace Sleeth? Why?"

"Because she's too prissy to be on the team but I've seen her fly and she's pretty good. The other reserve is some Ravenclaw third year that you'd probably know, Rem. I think he was in one of your tutorial groups for something."

"Oh… good," Remus replied mildly. "So who will be commentating the match?"

"I really wanted Dumbles to do it but I think that might be pushing it a bit…"

"I'll ask him," James offered, "I am the Head Boy, after all."

"It's okay, I'll do it, I'm charming. My prank idea, _after all_," Sirius grinned.

* * *

Two hours, three serious injuries and the announcement by Dumbledore that "Sir Thwackington has caught the snitch, the suits of armour win!" later, the quidditch match was over and the Marauders were receiving a combination of admiring and apprehensive, what-crazy-thing-will-they-try-to-pull-next looks from the student body.

Peter just shrugged it off.

"It doesn't matter what they work out, there's no proof we did anything."

"Come off it, Wormtail. Who else would go to this much trouble to put together a day of pranks?" Sirius scoffed.

"Even though the whole school knows we're behind it, I'd like to think they're grateful to know that we're not immune to our own pranks. I've still got some green hairs," Remus mused.

"And anyway, it's not like they can avoid the next stage," James said reasonably.

"I must say, this is the bit I've been most looking forward to," Remus added.

"You would, you muggle-poetry-lover, you," Sirius said.

"It'll be funny, just you wait," Remus pouted.

Cat and Lily met up with the boys on the way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey boys," Lily said, catching up to James and kissing him on the cheek.

"That quidditch prank was a great idea!" Cat enthused, "I wish we were going to be around next year to see the talent develop."

"We could always come back to watch matches," Sirius suggested.

"No we couldn't," Lily argued. "They only let in family and that's only on special occasions."

"I do believe that Sirius is referring to the map and my cloak," James said, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulder and steering her towards a couch by the window.

"But he'll be too busy training to be an auror anyway, don't worry," Remus winked, causing Lily to chuckle.

"So, what's the next phase of prank day?" Cat asked.

"That would be telling," Peter said, taping his temple instead of his nose in what he obviously thought to be a conspiratorial manner. Cat merely rolled her eyes, as most people did whenever Peter did or said something a little daft… which was quite often.

"Suffice it to say it will be… amusing," James said.

Sirius snorted. "More like annoying. All I know is _I_ won't be eating the rice pudding today at lunch."

"You always eat dessert, though," Cat said.

"Let me say that I am choosing the lesser of two evils."

"If you think rhyming is worse than a rash you-know-where…" Remus smirked.

"A rash! You didn't mention anything about a rash!"

"Yes, well as it turns out, mixing chocolate with that particular potion has the unfortunate side-effect of-"

"Fine! I'll take the rice pudding," Sirius huffed, "I just will make a point of not talking until it wears off."

Remus laughed as Cat followed a now sulky Sirius and a hungry Peter back out to the Great Hall for lunch.

"There's no rash, is there?" Lily asked apprehensively.

"No, of course not. As a matter of fact, I couldn't be bother making a singing solution, so the rhyming potion is in both desserts. I, personally, think the results will be hilarious," he grinned, also leaving for lunch. Lily was about to get up and follow him, but James' hand on her wrist stopped her. She looked questioningly at him.

"I feel like I haven't seen you all day," James whined, tugging Lily into his lap.

"So needy for a boy," Lily teased, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"It's because I wasn't in our common room this morning. And then I've spent the whole day with the guys…"

"James, they're your best friends, don't be silly. I'm still going to be here when you get back," she smiled, wondering where all this melancholy wondering had come from.

"It's going to be like this when we leave, though," James replied, absently running a hand through Lily's hair. "I'll be living with them, working with Sirius. I won't see you every morning or even every day-"

"We've got some holiday time before then. And anyway, I'll make sure to see you every day. We are magic, remember? It'll be easy."

"Aren't you going away with your family in the holidays?"

"Oh, right. I forgot. I mean, I can not go if you don't want me too-"

"No, Lils, go. I'm not a pathetic boyfriend. I'm sure I'll manage…"

"C'mon, cheer up. This is prank-day. Your day of glory!" Lily grinned. "Be happy."

"Hmm."

"Everyone loved that quidditch game."

"Meh."

"And everyone loved the owls letting loose all over the Slytherin table at breakfast," she wheedled.

James let out a weak chuckle. "That _was _funny."

"Yes, it almost was. So get going and spread more of that humour around."

"Are you going to eat the rice pudding?"

"For you, James, for you."

* * *

"I've never eaten such a delicious dessert, but all this rhyming is making me hurt!" Sirius scowled.

"I love how you can start a sentence how ever you please, and the potion makes you rhyme the second half with words just like these," Cat chuckled.

"Oh, make it stop, I sound ridiculous. Damn you Remus and your being so meticulous!" Sirius cried.

By this stage, Lily was in fits of laughter.

"I think you'll find that we'll make less sense, by the time that afternoon classes commence," Remus replied coolly. "But I wish someone would say something more poetic, mundane sentences muck with my sense of aesthetic."

"You know that you all sound absolutely stupid, right?" Rachael Rawlins piped up.

"How come she's not speaking in rhyme? That's practically a crime!" James yelped.

"I'm allergic to rice and related grain-y, rice-y products, and I just don't happen to feel like chocolate mousse. Which, as it turns out, was pretty lucky for me."

"I think she's insulting us, her implications are thus," James said with a grin - he obviously wasn't taking things at all seriously.

"I don't care, this prank's beyond compare!" Lily grinned. "I thought you were rubbish at potions, how did you cause this commotion?"

"I had some help from James, you know how he loves these games."

"Okay, guys, this is getting old. Prongs, I believe you owe me some gold," Peter said.

"He had a bet that we'd get Sirius to rhyme, and he's done it twice this time. It's a pity his fear of a rash, was a load of trash."

"WHAT!? You mean I wouldn't break out? MOONY YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SHOUT!!!!"

Lily was still in hysterics.

"Lils, you haven't said much, is there a problem as such?" James asked.

"Give me a minute, okay? I want something special to say."

James grinned and eagerly awaited his message.

"You going to say something special to me? (I can't wait til I'm free)," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Not today, sorry. You know I love you, don't worry," Cat replied.

"While you're thinking of something to say, I'd like to repeat something I read, okay?" James said. Lily nodded.

"_She walks in beauty, like the night  
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:  
Thus mellowed to that tender light  
Which heaven to gaudy day denies._

_One shade the more, one ray the less,  
Had half impaired the nameless grace  
Which waves in every raven tress,  
Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
Where thoughts serenely sweet express  
How pure, how dear their dwelling place._

_And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
But tell of days in goodness spent,  
A mind at peace with all below,  
A heart whose love is innocent!_"

Lily was speechless. She had never had poetry recited to her before, let alone by the man she loved, in front of the entire school who had fallen silent when James had quietly stood up on the bench where he had been sitting.

The boy in question was now very red in the face and sat down quietly, while the rest of the school whispered in varying degrees of quality rhyme about how sweet, strange and corny their Head Boy was.

"It's not something I wrote, it's by Byron - a lord. And for performing that in public, I think I deserve an award. I'm over this rhyming malarkey and I just want to spend, a quiet afternoon with my lovely girlfriend."

"I don't know what to say James, that was corny and sweet. I can't believe you did that in front of the whole school, on your feet-"

"I told you the rhyming would start to wear off, now our rhymes will start causing others to scoff," Remus muttered to Sirius.

"I'm touched, really, I just don't know what I could say? Just, I guess that I love you, and every time I see you (when you aren't hexing Slytherins) it makes my day..?" she frowned. "I agree with Sirius, this rhyming is ridiculous!"

The group laughed, the seriousness of the moment forgotten. Well, until James leaned over and kissed Lily rather passionately.

"I give it a ten out of ten," Sirius said, eyebrows raised. "Five galleons says they do it again." This comment earned him a goblet of pumpkin juice in the face.

As the potion began to wear off, the rhymes began to get more and more strange, and their sentences pretty much stopped making sense. It made for great amusement, particularly when McGonagall told the students to get to class, telling one Hufflepuff to shift his... well, it rhymes with class.

* * *

Getting back to their common rooms (and to their classes, for the first years), however, was no small feat considering that the next phase of the Marauder's pranking involved the expert transfiguration of at least half of the one hundred and forty _two_ staircases in Hogwarts.

Water-slides, bouncy castle steps, climbing ropes and grassy slopes were now in place of the great stone steps, and the students were really struggling to get from A to B.

"This is really getting a bit much," Lily puffed, as she pulled herself to the top of the rope ladder. Cat offered her friend a hand, and they both tumbled to the ground of the third floor corridor.

"I'm enjoying myself, I just wish I had my swim suit on me," Anna complained as she looked at her friends on the floor.

Lily wordlessly transfigured Anna's casual shift dress into a two piece bikini with a roll of her eyes.

"Ooh, aqua looks good on me," Anna grinned before running all of two feet down the corridor to where a water-slide was conveniently waiting.

"Where'd your boyfriend get to?" Cat asked.

"He's off talking to Madame Hooch about quidditch. He's trying to get in contact with the trainer for a professional quidditch team."

"Oh, really? Which one?"

"I think whatever he can get into. He's even willing to start at the very bottom and work his way up."

"Which means Pride of Portree, right?" Cat smirked.

"Urgh, yes. I don't know how I feel about purple on Caradoc. He looks much better in blue. Plus I don't much fancy the commute to Scotland everyday," Anna wrinkled her nose.

"I though Caradoc wanted to become an auror, though," Lily said, following Cat to the edge of the water-slide.

"Well, he's interested in doing the right thing, I guess. You know... the order?" she whispered. "But I'm not sure if he wants to jump straight into auror training. He is young and... virile, you know."

This set Cat and Lily off laughing.

"Virile?" Lily chuckled. "Now I see why you're dating him."

"Oh, shut up. Like you're one to talk, anyway. James was after you for ages but you only gave in once you'd seen him without a shirt on."

"Ha bloody ha," Lily deadpanned. "Anyway, we should get a wriggle on. It'll take us ages to get back to the common room at this rate. And I want to get changed before dinner. I'm going to take some photos for posterity's sake."

"Ooh, a muggle camera? Is it the polar one your parents had at graduation?" Cat asked.

"The polaroid, yeah. So let's go. I won't have the future generations looking back on me in this state!" Lily grinned before getting on her stomach and following Anna down the water-slide.

* * *

"Okay, boys. This is it. The final prank (organised prank, that is) that we will pull at Hogwarts... unless there is an emergency," Sirius said thoughtfully. The Marauders were gathered in the kitchen for the third time that day, once again preparing for a meal-centric prank.

"So the transfiguration is done. As soon as the first person enters the Hall, everything will fundamentally transfigure itself," James said. "Moony, did you take care of the ceiling again?"

"Yep, it was more complicated this time, though, considering the special rain," he replied.

"Pete, did you organise the lolly-bags?"

"Yep, took the trip to Hogsmeade this afternoon. They're already on the tables ready to be sent up," he nodded at the tables behind them.

"Good, so now all we have to do is go upstairs and watch the magic unfold," James grinned.

"Except for what happens afterward," Remus asserted. "Remember we need to allow the map to be confiscated by Filch so that it ends up in his cabinet for troublemaking objects of desire."

"So the plan is, after the final hurrah, that we announce to the student body that today's shenanigans have been courtesy of the Marauders and then confess to a few choice incidents in the past."

"Then we take a bow and run like hell," Sirius added.

"Pads and I will take the stairs to the third floor corridor, as Filch is bound to follow us... well, follow Sirius at any rate," James grinned. "We'll meet you outside the statue of Eargit the Ugly, hand over the map to you two, then get ourselves sent to McGonagall for our punishment. Filch will then pursue you both. Split up and give the map to Peter. He gets to be the lucky last caught with the map."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Remus smiled.

"Go go banana," Sirius added. The others just looked at him oddly. "What? It seemed appropriate!"

* * *

Third year student, Jessica Stevens, was the first person to enter the Great Hall for dinner that evening. Upon walking in, she immediately wished she hadn't, for the walls of the enormous room began to ripple and shimmer. "Uh-oh," she said loudly.

The other students who had been milling about in the Entrance Hall or casually making their way to dinner rushed into the Great Hall to see what all the commotion was about.

The walls which had started to take on the appearance of wobbly glass, started to emit puffs of orange smoke.

"Oh, what now?!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed as she entered the hall with the rest of the teachers.

"Are we unable to have one uninterrupted meal today?" Professor Slughorn complained. "I must say, this is very upsetting to my routine."

The enchanted ceiling, which had been doing a rather splendid job of representing the clear, starry night sky, began to cloud over with shimmering, lilac clouds. Aside from that, the hall seemed to appear as normal. As the students sat down, the food from below in the kitchens appeared on their tables and with it came the small lolly-bags that Peter had put together for everyone. It was really a rather sweet idea.

When everyone seemed satisfied that it was okay to start eating their steak and kidney pies, the clouds overhead gave an ominous rumble before big purple drops of what could be water began to fall from the sky. In turn, they all abandoned their food and looked heavenward in would-be exasperation (they were too amused to be seriously annoyed).

As the liquid hit the students, their robes and assorted casual clothing began to shimmer and glisten in a strange, magical way.

"We are so going to cop an earful from Minnie for this," James grinned.

"LOOK AT THE WALLS!" an fourth year Ravenclaw shouted. Ignoring their slippery-looking clothing, everyone turned their attention to the walls of the hall which had lost the rippling effect and had turned into jelly. Orange jelly. What else would a prankster do to the walls of the Great Hall, after all?

"Food fight!"

"Brilliant, it's all going to plan," Sirius grinned. "Now I'm waiting for someone to notice that their clothes have become transparent!"

This didn't take long at all. Much screeching, yelping and catcalling ensued when the students (and teachers) in fact realised that their clothes had lost their visibility. Aside from undergarments, that is. The Marauders weren't complete perverts. Nor did they have any desire to see Professor Slughorn's private bits. Seeing his flabby stomach was bad enough.

"BLACK! POTTER!"

"Ah, music to my ears," Sirius grinned. "It's go time!"

The four boys rose from their seats and sprinted towards the door, expertly dodging globs of jelly and whole pies that were being flung at them by their peers.

"I am so very glad that they are our friends," Cat said to Lily.

"Really, why? Mostly I am just embarrassed."

"Because I knew to wear my sexiest bra to dinner tonight, didn't I?" she grinned.

* * *

**Sirius' Occlumency Diary**

The day of pranking was, without a doubt, the best moment of my Hogwarts career. Seeing Flint get knocked off his broom by a suit of armour was beyond entertaining. The rhyming irritated me no end, but the grand finale made up for it. Especially when the jelly walls/naked rain resulted in anarchy of the best kind - a food fight. And that wasn't even in the plan!

Of course, when it came to giving up the map it wasn't as easy as anticipated. As planned, Peter was the last to get caught and we all saw him hand over the wiped piece of parchment. I felt the unexpected urge to turn into Padfoot and take a chunk out of Filch's leg when he touched it with his grubby hands and unceremoniously shoved years of our hard work into an ordinary, ugly filing cabinet.

But I suppose we did what's right. At least the next generation will benefit from our sacrifices.

We got a standing ovation at breakfast the next day, too. After everyone had checked their cutlery for mischief-making charm work, that is. And I felt that everything was right in the world.

It's a pity we have to leave so soon.

I almost feel like we should have trained some youngsters to take on the mantle of trouble makers. Taught them a few secret passages, the best hexes to use on Slytherins - you know, the essentials. But I suppose they have to make their own way in the world. I think it's all this leaving Hogwarts, change-y, end-of-life-as-we-know-it stuff. It's turning me into an old sap.

Although it does have it's benefits. Cat and I decided last week to have one last 'private get together' in the room of requirement for old times sake. Phwoar! Won't forget that night in a hurry.

In fact, I have so many great memories of Hogwarts that I'll be taking with me. It was my home for seven years, more of a home than Grimmauld Place ever was. Even more than James' place, I guess. I know Mr Potter thinks of me as a son, but sometimes I felt like I was intruding. Especially when it was the anniversary of the attack that killed Alex and Mrs Potter.

Hogwarts was mine to do with as I pleased. It was my domain. And as the Marauders, we ruled the school. Going from this to being a lackey in a Ministry training program, even if it is advanced and run by Mad-Eye Moody, is going to be a painful change.

Just imagine it. No mucking about, no joking with the teachers, no fun!

But I guess it'll be worth it in the end. I hope, at least.

On the plus side, I get to see my girlfriend everyday. Not like James, poor guy.

But that's his problem, I guess. I probably shouldn't be wasting my time writing in this silly thing - there have to be more important things for me to be doing... Like spontaneous pranking...

It's not like the whole 'occlumency diary' thing worked anyway. I still have nightmares. The attack in Hogsmeade, mostly. But some are about my family. Their abuse, their use of the dark arts, me having to hunt down my family members - no one wants to dream about that, but that's what's coming. As an auror, as an order member, that will be my task. And they deserve it, but that doesn't make it easy.

I pretend like I don't care, but I do. Especially about Reg. I don't want to have to bring him in, but I will if I have to.

And what's worse are the dreams about me becoming as bad as them. It's in me somewhere - it's in my blood. My stinking, pure, bad blood. What if one day I wake up and I'm different? What if I want to take the easy way out? What if I don't want to be estranged from my brother? I've proven myself capable of murder with sending Snivellus to the Whomping Willow when Moony was transforming. And at the time, I thought it was all a bit of a laugh. Is that how my family feels about torturing muggles? Do they think it's a bit of a laugh - do the Death Eaters? Is that why they do what they do?

This has all gotten a bit dark, hasn't it? I guess it's late and I'm pretty buggered. Remus and Peter are asleep and Prongs went back to his dorm with Lily so there's no one to talk to. But I can't sleep like this. I think I'll go for a fly around the pitch just for a bit to relax.

* * *

"Okay, so that's Merrythought, Sprout and Ili done. Now all that's left are McGonagall, Slughorn and Flitwick," Anna said, consulting the list Lily had written. It was the Wednesday following what had become known as 'Prank Day' or 'Almighty Day of the Marauders' (although it was only Sirius and Peter who called it that) and the girls were making their way about the castle, handing out farewell gifts and cards to their teachers.

"And you've already seen your other professors, right?" Lily asked, receiving nods from her two friends. "Good, so who next?"

"Well, I don't particularly want to see Slughorn and listen to him harp on about how his best student is leaving him-"

"Oh, shut up!" Lily interrupted.

"So I suggest we see the others first then leave his cards and presents in his office so we don't have to see him," Cat finished.

"I second that. Motion passed," Anna grinned before Lily could argue. "Off to see Flitwick then."

The girls made their way towards the tiny Charms Professor's office, taking care to avoid the staircase that was still in the form of a water-slide.

"Ah, girls," Flitwick squeaked when he opened his door to them. "How can I help you?"

"We had actually come to give our thanks for a great year, sir," Cat said politely, knowing how much their tiny teacher valued manners.

"And for the many years that you've taught us," Lily added with a smile - Professor Flitwick had always been her favourite teacher and she his favourite student.

"Oh, come in, come in," he beamed, ushering them through the door.

"Thank you," Anna said.

"So, yeah, we got you this as a farewell gift," Cat said, handing the golden parcel to Flitwick.

"It's a muggle radio we bought last time we were in London," Lily explained. "We know that muggle devices don't work in Hogwarts so we altered it a bit."

"And charmed it to pick up signals from the national stations in Britain because we know how much you like classical music," Anna added.

For a moment, Flitwick looked as though he might cry but his face suddenly split into a broad grin and he exclaimed, "What a wonderful gift! So thoughtful of you. And to think you used charms to make it work. I feel as though my work here is done."

"Thank you for everything these past six years, Professor. Charms has always been my favourite class and I think that was, in part, due to your enthusiasm and guidance and I really appreciate all the hard work you put in helping us prepare for our exams but also for life in the wizarding world," Lily said in one breath. The red head herself looked as though she was tearing up. If he hadn't been so very small (and a teacher) she would have given Flitwick a hug. Instead, they said their final goodbyes and left to find McGonagall.

Usually, McGonagall would be patrolling the corridors at this time of day, making sure that students were where they were supposed to be before retiring to her office to plan her lessons. However, following the exhausting Prank Day, Minerva was content to sit in the staffroom drinking tea with the standard ginger newt biscuit because she knew that the Marauders had nothing else up their sleeves.

It was here that the girls found her and each presented her with a farewell gift and gave the fairly standard thanks-for-everything speech. Anna gave McGonagall a silky crimson scarf, Cat gave her a nicely engraved oak chest that held a tin of ginger newts inside, while Lily gave her an elegant brooch in the shape of a cat. According to the shop owner, the cat would sometimes change position in accordance with the emotions of the wearer (for example, if McGonagall was tired, the cat would curl up into a ball).

Of course, the strict Transfiguration teacher was touched by the thought that had gone into the gifts and was quite sad to see such strong students leave.

Giving a watery smile, she thanked the girls and wished them the very best in their endeavours, inviting them to write to her at any time if they needed help or if they wanted to keep her up-to-date with their successes. Lily realised that McGonagall really was full of surprises and she suddenly felt very sorry to be leaving the teacher, even though she had never been that fond of her subject.

Last on the list was Slughorn. They had wanted to check the map to ensure that he wouldn't be in his office but given that the Marauders had practically given it away ("the stupid gits") they just had to play it by ear.

Luckily for them, his office was deserted when they went down after lunch.

"Okay, so I'll write him a note so he knows it was from us," Cat said.

"Don't bother about putting my name on there," Lily said. "He'll know that this is my present."

"Seriously, Lily? A bowl of water? What's that all about?" Anna said, wrinkling her nose at the bizarre present.

"Doesn't matter," Lily smiled. Of all her presents, this had been her favourite to choose because she knew it would impress Slughorn but also make him smile. He had once told the class (although probably only Lily had been listening) about a fish he had owned once as a child who had somehow jumped from his fishbowl into the cauldron next to it and had consequently become a part of a befuddlement draught gone wrong. It had been a lecture on keeping a clear work bench but Lily had felt that Slughorn quite regretted the loss of his pet. When the lily petal in the bowl of water reached the bottom of the bowl it would transform into a fish - a piece of magic that would surely make Slughorn smile. Although he had a tendency to be pompous and self-important, Slughorn had always treated Lily with great respect for her skill and her kindness and she felt a certain affection for the large potion master.

"Well, that's that I suppose," Cat said. "Let's roll. It's perfect weather for sun-bathing."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Anna enthused. "I need to even up my shoulders!"

Lily just chuckled at her friends as she shut the door behind her, the finality of the action making her feel a little bit melancholy.

* * *

**_Players Pose for Prophet Magazine_**

Players from the Puddlemere United Quidditch Team have stripped down today for a photo shoot with the _Daily Prophet_ in a bid to raise money for London's newest wizarding orphanage. The photos will be compiled into an 18 month calendar, the proceeds of which will go towards a fund for Euston Road orphanage, which opened last week.

"I think it's a really great idea," said the team's current manager, Fredrick Flarge. "The team are really excited about making a positive change in the community and they love an opportunity to strip down for the cameras."  
The matron of Euston Road Orphanage, Mary Ambrosius, is also feeling positive about the campaign.

"We hope that the money raised from this bold project will be able to afford us some furniture for the dormitories. And perhaps furnish an additional bathroom."

The calendar will see the quidditch stars wearing next to nothing in varied suggestive poses, much like the cheeky muggle calendars that are often used to raise money for local churches or sporting clubs. Anyone wishing to purchase a calendar will be able to order them through the prophet for a minimal fee of two galleons. For an order form, see page thirty-four. For more on the scandal surrounding Mr April and his 'night out on the town' see the gossip column on page twenty.

* * *

Friday saw the students leave Hogwarts for the final time. There was much crying, hugging and laughing going on as they boarded the horseless carriages on the way to Hogsmeade. On the train home, the boys and the girls sat in separate carriages. Not because they didn't want to share the moment with each other, but because it was a tradition. Anna even abandoned Caradoc to be with Cat and Lily. They sat, as ever, in their compartment with a seat full of lollies from the trolley lady, racing chocolate frog cards and playing with each other's hair - sure, it was juvenile, but it was tradition.

The boys, on the other hand, were more subdued than usual. They played exploding snap once or twice, and Sirius challenged Remus to a game of chess, but somehow it wasn't quite the same. When Remus and James left to attend the final prefect meeting, Sirius took to staring broodingly out the window, while Peter aimlessly picked at a bit of thread on the seat.

"In conclusion, we'd just like to say thank-you all for all your hard work this year," Lily said to the group of prefects before her.

"We know it's been a tough year," James added, "But your efforts made things so much easier and Hogwarts was better for having you as leaders."

The Head Boy and Girl then handed out some of the leftover Honeydukes sweets as reward/goodbye gifts, much to the appreciation of their peers. As she was leaving, Marlene McKinnon mentioned something about how glad she was that Lily and James had finally gotten together. This caused Lily to blush and look away, which Remus took as his cue to go back to the boys' compartment alone.

"It's funny that everyone seems happy we got together," James grinned bemusedly.

"Not everyone," Lily reminded him, thinking of Severus and how sour things had become between them.

"Hmm, well Snape doesn't count. He's just jealous," James said dismissively. "But everyone else seemed to see it coming, didn't they?"

"Yeah, I guess so..." Lily smiled softly.

"So that means you were the only one who ever doubted us?"

"I didn't... Well, okay, sort of."

"But you're glad it worked out, right?" he grinned.

"Yeah," Lily agreed softly, a smile tugging up the corner of her mouth before she leaned towards him as they kissed.

**

* * *

**

**James' Occlumency Diary**

It's the end of Hogwarts, it's the end of pranking, it's the end of life as I know it... (should I be listing my top ten Hogwarts memories or something? Don't need to, I already know what they are).

But it's the end and now I have no idea what will happen next.

Yes, I know it's not like I've ever been able to see the future or anything, but all this change and uncertainty is stupidly unsettling! I've always been in control of what happens in my life. Well, mostly. I mean, I always knew what subjects to take, which girl to go after (of course!), how to handle a broomstick - the essentials. But I'm worried about what will happen after we leave school, especially to the Marauders.

Sirius and I will see each other practically everyday because we will be training together and I _know_ that we'll all be sharing a flat but it just won't be the same. It'll be hard because Sirius and I will be going off every singe day to do the job that we love an want to do, but Moony will be stuck at home or trying to find a job. I don't know, but it feels kind of like we'll be rubbing his face in it just by living together.

And Peter... Well, who knows what he'll end up doing but I doubt it's going to be anything particularly exciting. He's more of a follower than a leader, and Merlin knows he won't be following us to the Ministry. I mean, he's great but he's never been the cleverest of wizards.

And another thing, he seems to be more withdrawn of late. He's less... hero-worship-y... Not to sound conceited or anything. It's just unlike him, is all. I'm glad, though, that he seems less dependent on me and Sirius and Remus. It's just a bit odd. I hope he's okay.

And I know there's nothing that you can do about it, but I'm really worried about what'll happen to me and Lily. I've been obsessed with her for so long, I was able to see her every day and talk to her, even if the result wasn't always the positive reaction that I wanted. But now we're together and it's great! And I love her. That much is clear to me, as it is to anyone else who has seen us together. But...

This is going to sound stupid, because I wasn't after Lily because she was the only girl who never gave in to my persistent charm and good looks (and I can write that because it's only egotistical if you say it out aloud)... But maybe now that some of the thrill of the chase is gone, we'll lose our chemistry. Or she'll lose interest. Or I'll lose interest (highly unlikely).

I don't know. I guess I'm just being irrational. There's nothing that can come between me and Lily, not even the 'dark wizard of the century' or whatever.

Voldemort. What a joke. He just kills and tortures and manipulates. That's not power, that's fear. I mean, what he _does_ isn't a joke. All those live that he's taken... Nothing to be lighthearted about. But the man himself. He's just a man. Granted, an evil, sadistic, heartless, fearless, incredibly powerful man, but a man nonetheless.

And one day, we'll get him. Of that I can be certain. I just hope that I don't lose anyone else before it happens.

I miss mum.

There are so many things I want to say. All these stupid worries and all this stupid change, I just want to talk to her about it but I know I can't. I can't talk to Sirius about it. He'd try to understand, but I don't think he would get why I'm worried about me and Lily. And Dad's great, but he's busy, and I don't want him to know that I worry about him.

And obviously I can't talk to Lily. She's got enough on her plate - after all, she's going through pretty much the same stuff as me and then some (ie moving house, being a muggle-born, etc).

I'm sick of thinking about all the bad stuff that could happen. I want to think about the things that make me happy but I can't help but wonder how long it'll last.

Argh, I'm just tired. I'm sure I'll be more cheerful in the morning. A night's sleep in my own bed should be good... Although I have to admit, it's weird not having Lily nearby. Oh well, I guess I'll just owl her in the morning.

Goodnight.

* * *

**AN - **Well, that's that, I suppose. Now all we've got left is the epilogue which is basically Harry and co summing everything up. I'll try and have it up by Christmas as a present :P because it'll be quite short, not like this 11,000 word monster.

So yes. Please review if you have time and let me know what you thought of the excess of pranks (particularly that terrible rhyming! i used an online rhyming dictionary for help haha), James' odd behaviour at the end, how the pairings have ended up, and what you think WILL or SHOULD happen in the sequel, which I'm actually excited about writing (so the wait between chapters won't be soooo long).

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all, and thank you for sticking with me and my scribblings that i have the audacity to call a story. I hope you all have a wonderful 2010 and may it be full of lovely fanfics :) happy fanficcing!


	55. Epilogue

**Disclaimer** - I do not own Harry Potter, but after finally completing this fic I feel like the characters are pretty much mine anyway and I shall continue to play with their lives in a sequel :P

**AN** - It is the end. Thank you for your continued support, patience and reviews. Enjoy :)

* * *

**Epilogue**

Harry sighed, putting down the last page of his father's occlumency diary. He couldn't believe it was over. He had gone through every scrap of paper in that chest - every photograph, news paper clipping and crumpled piece of parchment, and had rather come to the conclusion that his parents had lived rather melodramatic lives. Or perhaps what his mum and dad had gone through at Hogwarts was normal, and it was Harry who had largely missed out on life.

Neither he nor his friends had dealt regularly with tangled love lives, premature marriage proposals, pregnancy scares (thank Merlin!), or frequent Death Eater attacks (well, during school time). Was that part of what being a teenager or being at school was all about? Harry wished he had more answers, but made himself a promise that whatever happened next year when he returned to Hogwarts, he would make the most of every opportunity. After all, with Voldemort finally gone, he really had no reason not to.

Harry almost said aloud that he was quite lucky to be able to learn from his parents when they were no longer alive, but then thought better of it. He was glad that Ginny and the others had followed him to Godric's Hollow but at the same time it was an extremely private thing that he was sharing with them and he wanted to keep parts of it just to himself.

"You know, it's a bit odd that the notes just stop here," Ginny said, pulling Harry out of his musings.

"How come?"

"Well, it's just their stuff from when they were at school," she replied thoughtfully. "I mean, surely they would've kept newspaper clippings and letters after they'd left Hogwarts."

"Like Sirius did," Hermione added, as she and Ron reentered the room with four mugs of Butterbeer that they'd summoned.

"And they wouldn't've stopped writing in their occlumency diaries, would they? I mean, Sirius might've, but You-Know-Who was still around, wasn't he? They would've had to've kept them," Ron said thoughtfully.

"Well then, where are they?" Harry asked, irritated. Didn't they think he had looked already?

"I dunno, mate? Did you check the other rooms?"

"I glanced at them, but nothing stood out," Harry replied, slightly calmer after taking a long swig of his drink.

"I could do a revealing charm," Hermione suggested, "It should work unless they've specifically hidden their stuff behind layers of protective magic, which I don't think likely."

Harry just nodded, and watched as Hermione muttered something complex and moved her wand expertly in a circle.

"Does this house have a basement?" Hermione mused.

"I don't think so, why?"

"Because my wand's pointing downwards. It works like the four-point spell except instead of pointing you in the direction of North, it directs you towards the object of your desire. So, how do we get downstairs?"

After five minutes of searching the house, Ron discovered a panel next to one of the bookshelves in the Potter's study which opened up to a set of cold stone steps.

Harry, absolutely intrigued by this secret passage in his old home, descended without a second thought, lighting his wand along the way.

Ron was about to follow when Hermione put her arm out and shook her head.

"I think Harry needs to do this on his own," she said.

"If it's okay with you guys, I'm going to stay here and make sure he's okay," Ginny said.

"But it could be days," Ron protested.

"It's alright. I can summon food if we get hungry and I'll owl you if it takes longer than expected."

"Are you sure? I think Harry kind of needs to do this on his own," Hermione said awkwardly.

"Yeah, I know, but someone should be here for him just in case," Ginny said, her jaw set in determination.

"Right, then we'll leave you to it," Ron said, steering Hermione towards the front door so as to avoid a conflict. "See you."

Meanwhile, Harry had gotten to the bottom of the roughly hewn stairs. He was in what appeared to be a small cellar. Bottles of muggle wine, elf mulled mead, Firewhiskey, spirits and butterbeer all lined the walls in shelves. Candles which Harry promptly lit were shrouded in spiderwebs hanging in a small chandelier dangling from the ceiling, and more stumps of wax and wick could be seen half melted into a small wooden desk in the corner.

Harry made his way towards the desk and sat in the dusty armchair placed there. He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering if his parents could've hid down here when Voldemort came knocking. Of course he knew they couldn't; once the Fidelius charm is broken, there is no safe house, but the muggle in him couldn't help but think that a secret passage would equal safety.

He opened his eyes to see a large chest, not completely unlike the one upstairs in the bedroom, sitting on the floor next to the desk.

Eagerly, he pulled back the lid and found more reams of parchment and notes and scribblings. He couldn't help but grin, overjoyed that there was more to read, more to learn about the lives of his parents. Once again casting the spell to chronologically order the documents, Harry settled down to read.

* * *

**AN** - It's late at night and I'm sick and I am so sad and glad that this is finished. I know the epilogue was short, but I wanted it to match the prologue, so yes. Stay tuned for the sequel - I have the ENTIRE plan written out, it's just a matter of typing everything up and putting things together in my head.

Thank you all SOOOOOO much for reading and reviewing this stupidly long fanfiction. I sort of wish i could publish it properly but unfortunately due to copyright laws I can't. So I'm going to write my own original story as well as the sequel for scribblings. It's thanks to all your support and constructive crit that I think I could maybe possibly give writing something original a go so THANK YOU!!!

I hope to post again soon and I think now that I'm starting a new story (well, it's a sequel, but it's NEW) I'll be a bit more speedy with the updates.

Again, THANK YOU all for everything. It's been two long years but it's finally done. So I hope you enjoyed and I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR and also HAPPY FANFICCING!!! :D


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